Leading Saints Podcast https://leadingsaints.org LDS (Mormon) Leadership Best Practices Mon, 18 Feb 2019 20:06:59 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.0.3 Leading Saints is a nonprofit organization with a mission to enhance leadership ability and capacity of LDS (Mormon) lay religious leaders in order to accelerate the mission of the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.<br /> <br /> Here are 4 ways Leading Saints accomplishes the above mission statement:<br /> <br /> 1. Connect LDS leaders and help share best-practices related to leadership responsibilities.<br /> <br /> 2. Make available training and educational opportunities that enhance leadership ability at little or no cost to the leader.<br /> <br /> 3. Negotiate relationships with businesses and organizations that provide services/products related to a leadership calling in order to lighten the burden of lay leaders of the LDS Church (i.e. suits, dry cleaning, family activities, etc.).<br /> <br /> 4. Celebrate the importance of governing priesthood keys, spiritual inspiration, and living prophets that are sacred sources of divine leadership.<br /> <br /> Leading Saints is not owned or sponsored by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and we seek to have a positive relationship and help progress the missions and goals of the LDS Church.<br /> <br /> Podcast Host:<br /> <br /> Kurt Francom currently lives in Salt Lake City, Utah with is his lovely wife Alanna. They are blessed to have a little girl and baby boy. Kurt works as the Director of Sales & Marketing for Fiddler.Online. He enjoys drawing caricatures and editorial cartoons, basketball, reading, and college football. Kurt has served as a full-time missionary (California Sacramento), an elder quorum president, executive secretary, bishopric counselor, high priest group leader, bishop and currently serves as the 1st counselor in a stake presidency.<br /> <br /> Check out the podcast episode featuring Kurt Francom where he talks about how he leads and the future of Leading Saints. Leading Saints clean Leading Saints kurt@leadinglds.org kurt@leadinglds.org (Leading Saints) Helping Latter-day Saint Lay Be Prepared to Lead Leading Saints Podcast https://leadingsaints.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/Leading-Saints-Podcast-Logo.png https://leadingsaints.org TV-PG Weekly Donate to Support Leading Saints 7 Self-Sabotaging Habits of Latter-day Saint Lay Leaders (and What to Do About Them) https://leadingsaints.org/7-self-sabotaging-habits-of-latter-day-saint-lay-leaders-and-what-to-do-about-them/ Sun, 17 Feb 2019 14:39:05 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=48938 Kurt Francom, Executive Director of Leading Saints, flies solo for this episode as he talks about some invisible habits some leaders have that self-sabotage their leadership and diminish those around them. Highlights 4:40 Invitation to become more reflective and ask yourself if you are possibly doing some of these things without realizing it 1. Creating a culture of unquestioned obedience to what the leader directs (6:00) This happens with the best intentions6:30 Common example: Primary President doesn't hear about changes in the Primary until it is announced in Sacrament Meeting because the Bishop is not giving them autonomy over their auxiliary9:00 From Dan Pink's book, "Drive", three things every individual looks for: autonomy, mastery (becoming proficient at what they do), purpose (my opinions matter; I'm making a difference) What to do about it: 10:50 Bishops should turn callings over to the auxiliaries, and then the bishopric can facilitate and encourage auxiliary leaders13:20 Ask the Ward Council/counselors: How are decisions being made? Is this a problem?13:40 One-to-one monthly interviews with your auxiliary leaders and counselors 2. A leader's lack of motivation to acquire accurate self-awareness by seeking-out alternative perspectives and general leadership training (16:15) 17:00 Self-awareness about your approachability as a leaderSubconsciously sabotaging difficult conversations18:15 Story of Seminary/Institute teacher who always had the answer to questions19:10 It's not about having the right answer, but about having the conversation What to do about it: 20:00 Ask, "How approachable am I?" and create a safe circumstance for others to come to you20:40 Seek leadership training from every source possible 21:50 Elder Bednar's leadership skills came from decades of experience as a professor and author, not simply because he is an apostle 23:30 Pick up a book23:40 Seek out other resources such as conferences, websites, therapists, Leading Saints, etc. 3. Providing no venue to experience real connection (27:30) 28:00 Kurt's experience at Wild at Heart Boot Camp: Men talking and connecting in ways that they don't normally experience in elders quorum30:35 "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation" (Thoreau)31:55 Never let a quorum meeting become another Sunday School class; create more connection What to do about it: 32:45 Create vulnerabilitySit in a circle33:35 Stimulate the group with questions34:40 Brene Brown's books about vulnerability and shame35:55 The leader needs to lead out with vulnerability37:20 Vulnerability leads to trust 4. Church/family imbalance: An excessive emphasis on the importance of family responsibility that causes individuals/families to disengage with the Church (and vice versa) (38:10) 39:45 Quote from "The Divine Center," by Steven R. Covey41:25 Culture shifting to putting the family first and losing the balance with church service What to do about it: 42:40 Talk about this dynamic as a bishopric and as a ward43:10 Infuse your ward, Relief Society, or quorum with more purpose/vision 5. Creating unintentional shame (44:00) 44:40 Shame is the greatest counterfeit that the adversary uses instead of guilt45:45 Shame comes with the best intentions but creates a dynamic of unattainable perfectionism 46:30 Quote from Brené Brown, from her book "Dare to Lead" What to do about it: 47:20 Shame comes when the focus is on the behavior48:00 Jane Clayson: Turn up the doctrine of grace 6. Too many targets and no vision (48:40) Every leader has a different inspired focus, so we end up trying to do it all52:50 Doing it all leads to overwhelm53:05 You have to give your people one target What to do about it: 54:00 Have a clear objective and goal and unify around itCreate a vision statement and give people a purposeAsk the difficult questions: How can we make these into one target 7. Excessive gestures of niceness,

Kurt Francom, Executive Director of Leading Saints, flies solo for this episode as he talks about some invisible habits some leaders have that self-sabotage their leadership and diminish those around them.

Highlights

4:40 Invitation to become more reflective and ask yourself if you are possibly doing some of these things without realizing it

1. Creating a culture of unquestioned obedience to what the leader directs (6:00)

  • This happens with the best intentions
  • 6:30 Common example: Primary President doesn’t hear about changes in the Primary until it is announced in Sacrament Meeting because the Bishop is not giving them autonomy over their auxiliary
  • 9:00 From Dan Pink’s book, “Drive”, three things every individual looks for: autonomy, mastery (becoming proficient at what they do), purpose (my opinions matter; I’m making a difference)

What to do about it:

  • 10:50 Bishops should turn callings over to the auxiliaries, and then the bishopric can facilitate and encourage auxiliary leaders
  • 13:20 Ask the Ward Council/counselors: How are decisions being made? Is this a problem?
  • 13:40 One-to-one monthly interviews with your auxiliary leaders and counselors

2. A leader’s lack of motivation to acquire accurate self-awareness by seeking-out alternative perspectives and general leadership training (16:15)

  • 17:00 Self-awareness about your approachability as a leader
  • Subconsciously sabotaging difficult conversations
  • 18:15 Story of Seminary/Institute teacher who always had the answer to questions
  • 19:10 It’s not about having the right answer, but about having the conversation

What to do about it:

  • 20:00 Ask, “How approachable am I?” and create a safe circumstance for others to come to you
  • 20:40 Seek leadership training from every source possible
    • 21:50 Elder Bednar’s leadership skills came from decades of experience as a professor and author, not simply because he is an apostle
  • 23:30 Pick up a book
  • 23:40 Seek out other resources such as conferences, websites, therapists, Leading Saints, etc.

3. Providing no venue to experience real connection (27:30)

  • 28:00 Kurt’s experience at Wild at Heart Boot Camp: Men talking and connecting in ways that they don’t normally experience in elders quorum
  • 30:35 “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation” (Thoreau)
  • 31:55 Never let a quorum meeting become another Sunday School class; create more connection

What to do about it:

  • 32:45 Create vulnerability
    • Sit in a circle
    • 33:35 Stimulate the group with questions
    • 34:40 Brene Brown’s books about vulnerability and shame
    • 35:55 The leader needs to lead out with vulnerability
      • 37:20 Vulnerability leads to trust

4. Church/family imbalance: An excessive emphasis on the importance of family responsibility that causes individuals/families to disengage with the Church (and vice versa) (38:10)

  • 39:45 Quote from “The Divine Center,” by Steven R. Covey
  • 41:25 Culture shifting to putting the family first and losing the balance with church service

What to do about it:

  • 42:40 Talk about this dynamic as a bishopric and as a ward
  • 43:10 Infuse your ward, Relief Society, or quorum with more purpose/vision

5. Creating unintentional shame (44:00)

  • 44:40 Shame is the greatest counterfeit that the adversary uses instead of guilt
  • 45:45 Shame comes with the best intentions but creates a dynamic of unattainable perfectionism
    • 46:30 Quote from Brené Brown, from her book “Dare to Lead”

What to do about it:

  • 47:20 Shame comes when the focus is on the behavior
  • 48:00 Jane Clayson: Turn up the doctrine of grace

6. Too many targets and no vision (48:40)

  • Every leader has a different inspired focus, so we end up trying to do it all
  • 52:50 Doing it all leads to overwhelm
  • 53:05 You have to give your people one target

What to do about it:

  • 54:00 Have a clear objective and goal and unify around it
  • Create a vision statement and give people a purpose
  • Ask the difficult questions: How can we make these into one target

7. Excessive gestures of niceness, love, or spirituality meant to influence a person to choose a specific life path (55:10)

  • 55:35 Nice Guy Syndrome: Dr. Robert Glover interview, “When the Bishop is Too Nice”, aka codependency
  • 57:00 Avoid conflict and can’t say no
  • 59:00 Don’t want to cause anyone to get upset, but also never create a bold vision and it diminishes influence
  • 1:00:30 Story from author Rodger Duncan in “Leadership for Saints”

What to do about it:

  • 1:04:55 Ask permission to hold people to a higher standard in their responsibilities

Links

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Kurt Francom, Executive Director of Leading Saints, flies solo for this episode as he talks about some invisible habits some leaders have that self-sabotage their leadership and diminish those around them. Highlights Kurt Francom, Executive Director of Leading Saints, flies solo for this episode as he talks about some invisible habits some leaders have that self-sabotage their leadership and diminish those around them.



Highlights



4:40 Invitation to become more reflective and ask yourself if you are possibly doing some of these things without realizing it



1. Creating a culture of unquestioned obedience to what the leader directs (6:00)



* This happens with the best intentions* 6:30 Common example: Primary President doesn't hear about changes in the Primary until it is announced in Sacrament Meeting because the Bishop is not giving them autonomy over their auxiliary* 9:00 From Dan Pink's book, "Drive", three things every individual looks for: autonomy, mastery (becoming proficient at what they do), purpose (my opinions matter; I'm making a difference)



What to do about it:




* 10:50 Bishops should turn callings over to the auxiliaries, and then the bishopric can facilitate and encourage auxiliary leaders* 13:20 Ask the Ward Council/counselors: How are decisions being made? Is this a problem?* 13:40 One-to-one monthly interviews with your auxiliary leaders and counselors



2. A leader's lack of motivation to acquire accurate self-awareness by seeking-out alternative perspectives and general leadership training (16:15)



* 17:00 Self-awareness about your approachability as a leader* Subconsciously sabotaging difficult conversations* 18:15 Story of Seminary/Institute teacher who always had the answer to questions* 19:10 It's not about having the right answer, but about having the conversation



What to do about it:



* 20:00 Ask, "How approachable am I?" and create a safe circumstance for others to come to you* 20:40 Seek leadership training from every source possible * 21:50 Elder Bednar's leadership skills came from decades of experience as a professor and author, not simply because he is an apostle * 23:30 Pick up a book* 23:40 Seek out other resources such as conferences, websites, therapists, Leading Saints, etc.



3. Providing no venue to experience real connection (27:30)



* 28:00 Kurt's experience at Wild at Heart Boot Camp: Men talking and connecting in ways that they don't normally experience in elders quorum* 30:35 "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation" (Thoreau)* 31:55 Never let a quorum meeting become another Sunday School class; create more connection



What to do about it:



* 32:45 Create vulnerability* Sit in a circle* 33:35 Stimulate the group with questions* 34:40 Brene Brown's books about vulnerability and shame* 35:55 The leader needs to lead out with vulnerability* 37:20 Vulnerability leads to trust



4. Church/family imbalance: An excessive emphasis on the importance of family responsibility that causes individuals/families to disengage with the Church (and vice versa) (38:10)



* 39:45 Quote from "The Divine Center," by Steven R. Covey* 41:25 Culture shifting to putting the family first and losing the balance with church service



What to do about it:



* 42:40 Talk about this dynamic as a bishopric and as a ward* 43:10 Infuse your ward, Relief Society, or quorum with more purpose/vision



5. Creating unintentional shame (44:00)



* 44:40 Shame is the greatest counterfeit that the adversary uses instead of guilt* 45:45 Shame comes with the best intentions but creates a dynamic of unattainable perfectionism * 46:30 Quote from Brené Brown,]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:11:08
Changing our Perspective on Addressing Welfare Needs | An Interview with Blair and Cindy Packard https://leadingsaints.org/changing-our-perspective-on-addressing-welfare-needs-an-interview-with-blair-and-cindy-packard/ Tue, 12 Feb 2019 02:02:26 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=48735 Blair Packard is a physical therapist and Cindy is a midwife. They are from Utah but have lived in Arizona since 1976, first in Mesa and now in Gilbert. They have seven children and 25 grandchildren. Cindy learned some Portuguese after starting a nonprofit, Care for Life, based in Mozambique. This came in useful later when they served a short-term humanitarian mission to Mozambique, and then as mission president from 2006-2009. In this interview, Kurt and the Packards talk about how to address primary problems instead of secondary problems in welfare service programs, mentoring and guiding people toward comprehensive self-reliance instead of simply giving them short-term support. Summary 1:40 Church service in Mozambique 4:50 Their experience in a robbery/hostage situation involving President and Sister Nelson near the end of their mission 8:10 How Care for Life came to be 11:00 They couldn’t just do one thing. There were so many needs, and they boiled it down to a need for knowledge and teaching. 12:20 Welfare and self-reliance principles came from their service Documentary: Poverty, Inc. When we think we are helping, we are more often creating dependence 14:45 Preventing the primary problem instead of trying to solve secondary problems, going into the “orphan prevention business” 16:50 At first they started an agriculture class, but eventually learned to mentor instead of simply teaching and walking away 17:45 Specialists work with the communities in different areas, setting goals, evaluating, and mentoring over time, much like a ward welfare council 20:50 Make it clear that they are only helping short-term and the community will need to support themselves after that 21:25 Took time to develop the Care for Life “family preservation program” based on the needs of the people, as determined by the community Eight areas in the program: education, health, and hygiene, food security and nutrition, sanitation, income generation, home improvement, psychosocial well-being, community participation Over 15 years, they were able to reduce maternal mortality rates in the villages by 78% and infant mortality rates by 57% 22:50 How they did it wrong at first, training birth attendants but not teaching entire villages of families 24:25 The comprehensive problems need to be addressed, and it starts with families 26:20 Kurt: It’s easy to project our perspective on someone else, but the solution needs to come from the people 27:35 Sending toys to Africa: not understanding what the villagers really needed 29:20 How to not project your experience on others: talk with them and observe what they don’t know how to do 32:00 It’s not a matter of intelligence, but a lack of experience and opportunity 34:22 Empowering individuals to believe that they can do this themselves and change their own lives 37:55 They monitor villages for five years after the initial program and see how the people then take ownership and teach others 39:30 It’s not about money but about giving people rewards for doing the work themselves 40:20 Mentoring is ministering 41:15 The self-reliance program isn’t just giving someone a manual, but working with the people to learn the principles 42:30 You have to celebrate success when a goal is reached, giving positive feedback 43:35 Many of the people they have taught skills to have gained the capacity to serve and gone on to be Church leaders 44:40 Maslow hierarchy of needs: begin with the basic needs before they can engage in Church service 45:25 Goal: be temporal centers of strength preceding spiritual centers of strength 46:25 The Lord knows the needs of the people and will open doors for you to serve them 47:15 Cindy’s first experience in Mozambique 48:35 Just do it and the Lord will open the way, even if it seems scary or impossible 49:15 Elder Packer: Walk to the edge of the dark and then take a couple more steps 50:25 The Lord has a plan and it works out in spite of mistakes,

Blair Packard is a physical therapist and Cindy is a midwife. They are from Utah but have lived in Arizona since 1976, first in Mesa and now in Gilbert. They have seven children and 25 grandchildren. Cindy learned some Portuguese after starting a nonprofit, Care for Life, based in Mozambique. This came in useful later when they served a short-term humanitarian mission to Mozambique, and then as mission president from 2006-2009. In this interview, Kurt and the Packards talk about how to address primary problems instead of secondary problems in welfare service programs, mentoring and guiding people toward comprehensive self-reliance instead of simply giving them short-term support.

Summary

1:40 Church service in Mozambique

4:50 Their experience in a robbery/hostage situation involving President and Sister Nelson near the end of their mission

8:10 How Care for Life came to be

11:00 They couldn’t just do one thing. There were so many needs, and they boiled it down to a need for knowledge and teaching.

12:20 Welfare and self-reliance principles came from their service

  • Documentary: Poverty, Inc.
  • When we think we are helping, we are more often creating dependence

14:45 Preventing the primary problem instead of trying to solve secondary problems, going into the “orphan prevention business”

16:50 At first they started an agriculture class, but eventually learned to mentor instead of simply teaching and walking away

17:45 Specialists work with the communities in different areas, setting goals, evaluating, and mentoring over time, much like a ward welfare council

20:50 Make it clear that they are only helping short-term and the community will need to support themselves after that

21:25 Took time to develop the Care for Life “family preservation program” based on the needs of the people, as determined by the community

  • Eight areas in the program: education, health, and hygiene, food security and nutrition, sanitation, income generation, home improvement, psychosocial well-being, community participation
  • Over 15 years, they were able to reduce maternal mortality rates in the villages by 78% and infant mortality rates by 57%

22:50 How they did it wrong at first, training birth attendants but not teaching entire villages of families

24:25 The comprehensive problems need to be addressed, and it starts with families

26:20 Kurt: It’s easy to project our perspective on someone else, but the solution needs to come from the people

27:35 Sending toys to Africa: not understanding what the villagers really needed

29:20 How to not project your experience on others: talk with them and observe what they don’t know how to do

32:00 It’s not a matter of intelligence, but a lack of experience and opportunity

34:22 Empowering individuals to believe that they can do this themselves and change their own lives

37:55 They monitor villages for five years after the initial program and see how the people then take ownership and teach others

39:30 It’s not about money but about giving people rewards for doing the work themselves

40:20 Mentoring is ministering

41:15 The self-reliance program isn’t just giving someone a manual, but working with the people to learn the principles

42:30 You have to celebrate success when a goal is reached, giving positive feedback

43:35 Many of the people they have taught skills to have gained the capacity to serve and gone on to be Church leaders

44:40 Maslow hierarchy of needs: begin with the basic needs before they can engage in Church service

45:25 Goal: be temporal centers of strength preceding spiritual centers of strength

46:25 The Lord knows the needs of the people and will open doors for you to serve them

47:15 Cindy’s first experience in Mozambique

48:35 Just do it and the Lord will open the way, even if it seems scary or impossible

49:15 Elder Packer: Walk to the edge of the dark and then take a couple more steps

50:25 The Lord has a plan and it works out in spite of mistakes, which is how you learn what doesn’t work

51:30 Create an exit strategy at the beginning, help them understand that they will need to work really hard where all of the basic needs are, and create a personalized plan with the answers they come up with

53:55 Identify the psychosocial, educational, and spiritual needs of the families, digging deeper to assess where they are and what the primary problems and needs are

55:00 Determine if they really want to be self-reliant or simply want a handout

56:35 Explain that others will step into minister, and help those people understand their role instead of simply giving them a name and telling them to “minister”

58:00 There are correct principles that apply in every situation and if the people are willing to do what is needed, they will have success

59:45 How to help with Care for Life

1:01:00 We have to continue to learn from our experiences, recognize that the Lord has a plan for us, and be humble enough to act when prompted

1:02:20 Our struggles will teach us to be more Christlike

Links

Care for Life

Self-Reliance Services

Poverty, Inc.

]]>
Blair Packard is a physical therapist and Cindy is a midwife. They are from Utah but have lived in Arizona since 1976, first in Mesa and now in Gilbert. They have seven children and 25 grandchildren. Cindy learned some Portuguese after starting a nonpr...

Blair Packard is a physical therapist and Cindy is a midwife. They are from Utah but have lived in Arizona since 1976, first in Mesa and now in Gilbert. They have seven children and 25 grandchildren. Cindy learned some Portuguese after starting a nonprofit, Care for Life, based in Mozambique. This came in useful later when they served a short-term humanitarian mission to Mozambique, and then as mission president from 2006-2009. In this interview, Kurt and the Packards talk about how to address primary problems instead of secondary problems in welfare service programs, mentoring and guiding people toward comprehensive self-reliance instead of simply giving them short-term support.
Summary
1:40 Church service in Mozambique

4:50 Their experience in a robbery/hostage situation involving President and Sister Nelson near the end of their mission

8:10 How Care for Life came to be

11:00 They couldn’t just do one thing. There were so many needs, and they boiled it down to a need for knowledge and teaching.

12:20 Welfare and self-reliance principles came from their service

* Documentary: Poverty, Inc.
* When we think we are helping, we are more often creating dependence

14:45 Preventing the primary problem instead of trying to solve secondary problems, going into the “orphan prevention business”

16:50 At first they started an agriculture class, but eventually learned to mentor instead of simply teaching and walking away

17:45 Specialists work with the communities in different areas, setting goals, evaluating, and mentoring over time, much like a ward welfare council

20:50 Make it clear that they are only helping short-term and the community will need to support themselves after that

21:25 Took time to develop the Care for Life “family preservation program” based on the needs of the people, as determined by the community

* Eight areas in the program: education, health, and hygiene, food security and nutrition, sanitation, income generation, home improvement, psychosocial well-being, community participation
* Over 15 years, they were able to reduce maternal mortality rates in the villages by 78% and infant mortality rates by 57%

22:50 How they did it wrong at first, training birth attendants but not teaching entire villages of families

24:25 The comprehensive problems need to be addressed, and it starts with families

26:20 Kurt: It’s easy to project our perspective on someone else, but the solution needs to come from the people

27:35 Sending toys to Africa: not understanding what the villagers really needed

29:20 How to not project your experience on others: talk with them and observe what they don’t know how to do

32:00 It’s not a matter of intelligence, but a lack of experience and opportunity

34:22 Empowering individuals to believe that they can do this themselves and change their own lives

37:55 They monitor villages for five years after the initial program and see how the people then take ownership and teach others

39:30 It’s not about money but about giving people rewards for doing the work themselves

40:20 Mentoring is ministering

41:15 The self-reliance program isn’t just giving someone a manual, but working with the people to learn the principles

42:30 You have to celebrate success when a goal is reached, giving positive feedback

43:35 Many of the people they have taught skills to have gained the capacity to serve and gone on to be Church leaders

44:40 Maslow hierarchy of needs: begin with the basic needs before they can engage in Church service

]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:08:22
Building Bridges and Ministering in Your Community | An Interview with Jodi Taylor https://leadingsaints.org/building-bridges-and-ministering-in-your-community-an-interview-with-jodi-taylor/ Sun, 03 Feb 2019 08:25:42 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=48534 Jodi Taylor lives in Anchorage, Alaska with her husband and children, where they both work in real estate development. She is currently Coordinating Council Director of Public Affairs in the area. The coordinating council is responsible for building bridges in our communities, taking the ideas of ministering outside and into our neighborhoods to expand how the church works with community groups. Highlights 7:20 Jodi explains what the church is like in Anchorage. 8:35 Role of stake public affairs to help the stake leaders—but not just within their own boundaries. The coordinating council is there to help the stake public affairs to meet their goals. The public affairs department are the opinion leaders for the area. 10:10 She presents some general principles on how we can be involved in our communities 11:10 Jodi presents a story of stake and community involvement as a family and their coordinating council. She encourages all to find ways to be involved—find a need and fill it. 13:50 How we can find common ground and how the coordinating council helped with the evolution of discussions and changes within the LGBT community and legislation. Importance of knowing key people who can get to know you and trust you. She describes relationships built and a summit that was held to bring experts together. 24:15 It is important to have a dialogue. There are ways to bring our beliefs in the Savior into the activities we are involved in. We all have the ability to make change by doing what matters to us and what matters to others. 25:50 Find an issue that matters to someone else 28:20 We must talk openly about our faith 30:20 Jodi shares story of her teenage daughter who got involved to cause change. We can help make change no matter our age. Utilize social media. 38:55 How you bring something up to others will determine if they will listen. We should acknowledge pain/hurt and concerns—they will listen. The time to be involved is NOW. 42:30 Jody addresses public affairs and politics 45:30 Everyone should get involved. God has designed a role for each of us to add light to our communities. We shouldn’t just pray for the Lord to provide opportunities but we should actively seek them out. 46:45 "It has expanded my understanding of my brothers and sisters and I appreciate the good that each person brings." Jodi Taylor lives in Anchorage, Alaska with her husband and children, where they both work in real estate development. She is currently Coordinating Council Director of Public Affairs in the area. The coordinating council is responsible for building bridges in our communities, taking the ideas of ministering outside and into our neighborhoods to expand how the church works with community groups.

Highlights

7:20 Jodi explains what the church is like in Anchorage.
8:35 Role of stake public affairs to help the stake leaders—but not just within their own boundaries.
The coordinating council is there to help the stake public affairs to meet their goals. The public affairs department are the opinion leaders for the area.
10:10 She presents some general principles on how we can be involved in our communities
11:10 Jodi presents a story of stake and community involvement as a family and their coordinating council. She encourages all to find ways to be involved—find a need and fill it.
13:50 How we can find common ground and how the coordinating council helped with the evolution of discussions and changes within the LGBT community and legislation.
Importance of knowing key people who can get to know you and trust you. She describes relationships built and a summit that was held to bring experts together.
24:15 It is important to have a dialogue. There are ways to bring our beliefs in the Savior into the activities we are involved in. We all have the ability to make change by doing what matters to us and what matters to others.
25:50 Find an issue that matters to someone else
28:20 We must talk openly about our faith
30:20 Jodi shares story of her teenage daughter who got involved to cause change. We can help make change no matter our age. Utilize social media.
38:55 How you bring something up to others will determine if they will listen. We should acknowledge pain/hurt and concerns—they will listen. The time to be involved is NOW.
42:30 Jody addresses public affairs and politics
45:30 Everyone should get involved. God has designed a role for each of us to add light to our communities. We shouldn’t just pray for the Lord to provide opportunities but we should actively seek them out.
46:45 “It has expanded my understanding of my brothers and sisters and I appreciate the good that each person brings.”

]]>
Jodi Taylor lives in Anchorage, Alaska with her husband and children, where they both work in real estate development. She is currently Coordinating Council Director of Public Affairs in the area. The coordinating council is responsible for building br... Highlights
7:20 Jodi explains what the church is like in Anchorage.
8:35 Role of stake public affairs to help the stake leaders—but not just within their own boundaries.
The coordinating council is there to help the stake public affairs to meet their goals. The public affairs department are the opinion leaders for the area.
10:10 She presents some general principles on how we can be involved in our communities
11:10 Jodi presents a story of stake and community involvement as a family and their coordinating council. She encourages all to find ways to be involved—find a need and fill it.
13:50 How we can find common ground and how the coordinating council helped with the evolution of discussions and changes within the LGBT community and legislation.
Importance of knowing key people who can get to know you and trust you. She describes relationships built and a summit that was held to bring experts together.
24:15 It is important to have a dialogue. There are ways to bring our beliefs in the Savior into the activities we are involved in. We all have the ability to make change by doing what matters to us and what matters to others.
25:50 Find an issue that matters to someone else
28:20 We must talk openly about our faith
30:20 Jodi shares story of her teenage daughter who got involved to cause change. We can help make change no matter our age. Utilize social media.
38:55 How you bring something up to others will determine if they will listen. We should acknowledge pain/hurt and concerns—they will listen. The time to be involved is NOW.
42:30 Jody addresses public affairs and politics
45:30 Everyone should get involved. God has designed a role for each of us to add light to our communities. We shouldn’t just pray for the Lord to provide opportunities but we should actively seek them out.
46:45 "It has expanded my understanding of my brothers and sisters and I appreciate the good that each person brings."]]>
Leading Saints clean 49:23
How I Lead as the Bishop’s Wife | Interviews with Jill Walker and Kasandra Merrill https://leadingsaints.org/how-i-lead-as-the-bishops-wife-interviews-with-jill-walker-and-kasandra-merrill/ Sun, 27 Jan 2019 08:00:53 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=48405 In this podcast, Kurt interviews two women with the unofficial leadership calling of Bishop’s Wife. Sister Jill Walker First he speaks with Jill Walker, the wife of Bishop Jason Walker of Phoenix, Arizona. Bishop Walker has been serving for about seven months. They have been married for 27 years, have three children, and have lived in Phoenix for seven years. Highlights 4:00 Introduction with Bishop Jason Walker 8:50 Called as bishop and then called again when ward boundaries were changed 9:45 Called shortly after a calling to the high council 10:45 Expectations she had, surprised and confused by new emotions such as feeling jealous of his time away 13:00 Journaled about her emotions but didn’t talk to anyone 13:50 The loneliness of not being able to talk about what he has been doing 14:20 Thoughts that she couldn’t burden him further with trivial family things when he had so many obvious burdens from his calling added to the sense of loneliness Principles of Leadership as the Bishop’s Wife 16:25 Journal 18:25 Find ways to help–helps with loneliness 20:00 Pray–for your husband and for comfort for yourself 21:20 Spend time together–go with him to anything that is appropriate, but also on intentional dates, to the store, any moment possible 23:25 Focus on the positive–look for the blessings and personal growth 24:55 Started sharing whatever spiritual moments they can, which has helped their partnership 26:30 She has learned to pay more attention to everyone and be more compassionate Sister Kasandra Merrill Next, Kurt speaks with Kasandra Merrill, wife of Bishop Scott Merrill of Mesa, Arizona. They both grew up in Mesa and have lived in the same ward since they were married. He has been serving as bishop for over four years. Kasandra comes from a large mixed family of 12 children, including step-siblings, and she and Scott have been married 24 years and have seven children. Highlights 30:30 She saw his calling coming but he did not 31:10 The circumstances in their family when he was called: five teenagers who then married or went on missions since his call, plus his busy job and she was in school full time 33:00 The first year was the most difficult for them to understand each other and each other’s roles because they approach life differently 34:00 She could sense the pain of ward members through him, but felt totally alone and unable to share her burdens with anyone 35:10 She was handling and carrying some heavy difficulties with their children all alone 37:00 She felt that he had the mantle of the calling to support him, while she had nothing 37:45 Figured out together how to handle their loneliness together and to share their burdens 38:40 Realized she has angels watching over and strengthening her, too 39:00 They were both called in for his calling as bishop 40:00 They may not have it all together but they are together 41:15 Allowed herself to not parent alone, or to own her children’s mistakes as hers 42:10 Their children all seemed to have had a positive experience with their dad as the bishop, but he let them know that if they wanted to talk to someone else they could go to the stake president 44:00 Don’t dwell on the negative 44:50 Living in a “glass house” 46:00 Her husband has been very private as bishop; she could sense anger and heartbreak but he didn’t/couldn’t share 48:05 Keeping their struggles open instead of private 48:45 Son came home early from his mission and they were open about everything with the ward, eliminating possible shame 50:15 Daughter attempted suicide and they were open about that too, further dissolving shame and bringing the ward together to support each other through difficult struggles 52:10 The Savior taught love and compassion In this podcast, Kurt interviews two women with the unofficial leadership calling of Bishop’s Wife.

Sister Jill Walker

First he speaks with Jill Walker, the wife of Bishop Jason Walker of Phoenix, Arizona. Bishop Walker has been serving for about seven months. They have been married for 27 years, have three children, and have lived in Phoenix for seven years.

Highlights

4:00 Introduction with Bishop Jason Walker
8:50 Called as bishop and then called again when ward boundaries were changed
9:45 Called shortly after a calling to the high council
10:45 Expectations she had, surprised and confused by new emotions such as feeling jealous of his time away
13:00 Journaled about her emotions but didn’t talk to anyone
13:50 The loneliness of not being able to talk about what he has been doing
14:20 Thoughts that she couldn’t burden him further with trivial family things when he had so many obvious burdens from his calling added to the sense of loneliness
Principles of Leadership as the Bishop’s Wife

  1. 16:25 Journal
  2. 18:25 Find ways to help–helps with loneliness
  3. 20:00 Pray–for your husband and for comfort for yourself
  4. 21:20 Spend time together–go with him to anything that is appropriate, but also on intentional dates, to the store, any moment possible
  5. 23:25 Focus on the positive–look for the blessings and personal growth

24:55 Started sharing whatever spiritual moments they can, which has helped their partnership
26:30 She has learned to pay more attention to everyone and be more compassionate

Sister Kasandra Merrill

Next, Kurt speaks with Kasandra Merrill, wife of Bishop Scott Merrill of Mesa, Arizona. They both grew up in Mesa and have lived in the same ward since they were married. He has been serving as bishop for over four years. Kasandra comes from a large mixed family of 12 children, including step-siblings, and she and Scott have been married 24 years and have seven children.

Highlights

30:30 She saw his calling coming but he did not
31:10 The circumstances in their family when he was called: five teenagers who then married or went on missions since his call, plus his busy job and she was in school full time
33:00 The first year was the most difficult for them to understand each other and each other’s roles because they approach life differently
34:00 She could sense the pain of ward members through him, but felt totally alone and unable to share her burdens with anyone
35:10 She was handling and carrying some heavy difficulties with their children all alone
37:00 She felt that he had the mantle of the calling to support him, while she had nothing
37:45 Figured out together how to handle their loneliness together and to share their burdens
38:40 Realized she has angels watching over and strengthening her, too
39:00 They were both called in for his calling as bishop
40:00 They may not have it all together but they are together
41:15 Allowed herself to not parent alone, or to own her children’s mistakes as hers
42:10 Their children all seemed to have had a positive experience with their dad as the bishop, but he let them know that if they wanted to talk to someone else they could go to the stake president
44:00 Don’t dwell on the negative
44:50 Living in a “glass house”
46:00 Her husband has been very private as bishop; she could sense anger and heartbreak but he didn’t/couldn’t share
48:05 Keeping their struggles open instead of private
48:45 Son came home early from his mission and they were open about everything with the ward, eliminating possible shame
50:15 Daughter attempted suicide and they were open about that too, further dissolving shame and bringing the ward together to support each other through difficult struggles
52:10 The Savior taught love and compassion

]]>
In this podcast, Kurt interviews two women with the unofficial leadership calling of Bishop’s Wife. Sister Jill Walker First he speaks with Jill Walker, the wife of Bishop Jason Walker of Phoenix, Arizona. Sister Jill Walker
First he speaks with Jill Walker, the wife of Bishop Jason Walker of Phoenix, Arizona. Bishop Walker has been serving for about seven months. They have been married for 27 years, have three children, and have lived in Phoenix for seven years.


Highlights
4:00 Introduction with Bishop Jason Walker
8:50 Called as bishop and then called again when ward boundaries were changed
9:45 Called shortly after a calling to the high council
10:45 Expectations she had, surprised and confused by new emotions such as feeling jealous of his time away
13:00 Journaled about her emotions but didn’t talk to anyone
13:50 The loneliness of not being able to talk about what he has been doing
14:20 Thoughts that she couldn’t burden him further with trivial family things when he had so many obvious burdens from his calling added to the sense of loneliness
Principles of Leadership as the Bishop’s Wife


* 16:25 Journal
* 18:25 Find ways to help–helps with loneliness
* 20:00 Pray–for your husband and for comfort for yourself
* 21:20 Spend time together–go with him to anything that is appropriate, but also on intentional dates, to the store, any moment possible
* 23:25 Focus on the positive–look for the blessings and personal growth

24:55 Started sharing whatever spiritual moments they can, which has helped their partnership
26:30 She has learned to pay more attention to everyone and be more compassionate
Sister Kasandra Merrill
Next, Kurt speaks with Kasandra Merrill, wife of Bishop Scott Merrill of Mesa, Arizona. They both grew up in Mesa and have lived in the same ward since they were married. He has been serving as bishop for over four years. Kasandra comes from a large mixed family of 12 children, including step-siblings, and she and Scott have been married 24 years and have seven children.


Highlights
30:30 She saw his calling coming but he did not
31:10 The circumstances in their family when he was called: five teenagers who then married or went on missions since his call, plus his busy job and she was in school full time
33:00 The first year was the most difficult for them to understand each other and each other’s roles because they approach life differently
34:00 She could sense the pain of ward members through him, but felt totally alone and unable to share her burdens with anyone
35:10 She was handling and carrying some heavy difficulties with their children all alone
37:00 She felt that he had the mantle of the calling to support him, while she had nothing
37:45 Figured out together how to handle their loneliness together and to share their burdens
38:40 Realized she has angels watching over and strengthening her, too
39:00 They were both called in for his calling as bishop
40:00 They may not have it all together but they are together
41:15 Allowed herself to not parent alone, or to own her children’s mistakes as hers
42:10 Their children all seemed to have had a positive experience with their dad as the bishop, but he let them know that if they wanted to talk to someone else they could go to the stake president
44:00 Don’t dwell on the negative
44:50 Living in a “glass house”
46:00 Her husband has been very private as bishop; she could sense anger and heartbreak but he didn’t/couldn’t share
48:05 Keeping their struggles open instead of private
48:45 Son came home early from his mission and they were open about everything with the ward, eliminating possible shame
50:15 Daughter attempted suicide and they were open about that too, further dissolving shame and bringing the ward together to support...]]>
Leading Saints clean 54:57
The Bishop’s Strongest Tools to Help Addicts | An Interview with Tony Overbay https://leadingsaints.org/the-bishops-strongest-tools-to-help-addicts-an-interview-with-tony-overbay/ Sun, 20 Jan 2019 08:00:13 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=47944 Tony Overbay began his career in the high tech world but felt the call to become a therapist and help men. For the past 13-14 years, he has been a licensed marriage and family therapist with a practice in Roseville, California. While Tony grew up in Utah, he is an adult convert to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He has been married 28 years, is a father of four, an ultra-marathoner, host of the Virtual Couch Podcast, creator of The Path Back, and currently serves on the Leading Saints Professional Therapists Advisory Board. Highlights 12:45 Men in therapy - the stigma, stereotypes 14:40 Treatment of pornography addiction - behavior modification, identifying triggers “crimes of opportunity,” then thought, which leads to action/behavior. Tools to put distance between thoughts and action, initially, then work on thought, but have to deal with core issues to heal. 16:30 Core issues—feelings of inadequacy, not feeling connected to partner, job, or faith, poor health—have to be dealt with to heal from addiction. Go-to patterns of behavior learned in youth 17:45 Men have a harder time connecting, less likely to go to therapy, need to find ways to connect with a therapist first before talking about emotions before talking about the elephant in the room 20:45 "The bishop is not the therapist" mentality brings shame to the table because it doesn’t bring the connection. How can bishops help build connections? Bishops need authenticity and vulnerability to build connection, to avoid shame spiral by pushing to get to transgression immediately. Don’t rush it, show gratitude, build relationships, meet with love. A relationship is more important - can’t go and find another bishop, like a person can go find another therapist 26:20 Perfect Love Casteth Out Fear - Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf April 2017 - many bishops over-emphasize shame - sprinkling shame glitter - to make them know they did something "really bad." Have to give people hope and remove shame. 27:30 - Brother Tad Callister- guilt is the stop sign. Shame hangs around guilt and isn’t productive, is negative, and makes people feel horrible. Have to change the conversation because will lie when there are relapses 29:20 - Shame - leaders mix up shame and guilt. Shame is "you’re bad" and not "what you did is bad". Pornography addiction - first exposure - 8 to 11 yo - early exposure to pornography is early sexualization, which changes the wiring of the brain because the brain doesn’t know how to process information. Changes their perception of the world, have to understand with it to work with, and will remove the shame. 32:30 - Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf - minor things take a person further off course over time. What not to say to someone when talking to them because it makes the other person view it as shame and more broken and not empathetic because coming from a different point of view. 33:45 Dr. Patrick Carnes - sexual addiction counselor, sex addiction and pornography can be harder to overcome than drug or alcohol addiction because addictive obsession can cause mood alteration. Sex addicts carry their own source of supply in their brain. Prolonged use alters the brain. Why can’t I get it under control? Bishop asks why and doesn’t understand the why of a person wanting it. Unintended shame happens. 37:20 Double down on the empathy when people share. Jesus saw sin as wrong, but as needs not met. Look into lives of others to see their shortcomings, unmet needs, etc, that aren’t filled that we’re trying to fill. Need to focus on the deeper reason of why we sin and the need we’re trying to meet to become better. Have to help people find something to replace the void. Easier to add things to life than subtract from life. 40:00 - EFT - Emotionally Focused Therapy to connect with a spouse, which fills the void and turns toward a spouse. A person is greater than their sin or addiction. 41:00 How to create a situation where a person never faces shame when the... Tony Overbay began his career in the high tech world but felt the call to become a therapist and help men. For the past 13-14 years, he has been a licensed marriage and family therapist with a practice in Roseville, California. While Tony grew up in Utah, he is an adult convert to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He has been married 28 years, is a father of four, an ultra-marathoner, host of the Virtual Couch Podcast, creator of The Path Back, and currently serves on the Leading Saints Professional Therapists Advisory Board.

Highlights

12:45 Men in therapy – the stigma, stereotypes

14:40 Treatment of pornography addiction – behavior modification, identifying triggers “crimes of opportunity,” then thought, which leads to action/behavior. Tools to put distance between thoughts and action, initially, then work on thought, but have to deal with core issues to heal.

16:30 Core issues—feelings of inadequacy, not feeling connected to partner, job, or faith, poor health—have to be dealt with to heal from addiction. Go-to patterns of behavior learned in youth

17:45 Men have a harder time connecting, less likely to go to therapy, need to find ways to connect with a therapist first before talking about emotions before talking about the elephant in the room

20:45 “The bishop is not the therapist” mentality brings shame to the table because it doesn’t bring the connection. How can bishops help build connections? Bishops need authenticity and vulnerability to build connection, to avoid shame spiral by pushing to get to transgression immediately. Don’t rush it, show gratitude, build relationships, meet with love. A relationship is more important – can’t go and find another bishop, like a person can go find another therapist

26:20 Perfect Love Casteth Out Fear – Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf April 2017 – many bishops over-emphasize shame – sprinkling shame glitter – to make them know they did something “really bad.” Have to give people hope and remove shame.

27:30 – Brother Tad Callister- guilt is the stop sign. Shame hangs around guilt and isn’t productive, is negative, and makes people feel horrible. Have to change the conversation because will lie when there are relapses

29:20 – Shame – leaders mix up shame and guilt. Shame is “you’re bad” and not “what you did is bad”. Pornography addiction – first exposure – 8 to 11 yo – early exposure to pornography is early sexualization, which changes the wiring of the brain because the brain doesn’t know how to process information. Changes their perception of the world, have to understand with it to work with, and will remove the shame.

32:30 – Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf – minor things take a person further off course over time. What not to say to someone when talking to them because it makes the other person view it as shame and more broken and not empathetic because coming from a different point of view.

33:45 Dr. Patrick Carnes – sexual addiction counselor, sex addiction and pornography can be harder to overcome than drug or alcohol addiction because addictive obsession can cause mood alteration. Sex addicts carry their own source of supply in their brain. Prolonged use alters the brain. Why can’t I get it under control? Bishop asks why and doesn’t understand the why of a person wanting it. Unintended shame happens.

37:20 Double down on the empathy when people share. Jesus saw sin as wrong, but as needs not met. Look into lives of others to see their shortcomings, unmet needs, etc, that aren’t filled that we’re trying to fill. Need to focus on the deeper reason of why we sin and the need we’re trying to meet to become better. Have to help people find something to replace the void. Easier to add things to life than subtract from life.

40:00 – EFT – Emotionally Focused Therapy to connect with a spouse, which fills the void and turns toward a spouse. A person is greater than their sin or addiction.

41:00 How to create a situation where a person never faces shame when they enter the bishop’s office.

  • 1. Start with empathy. Have to connect to the bishop to get to applying to the Atonement.
  • 2. 41:50 Respond with empathy. Confess the wrestle, don’t tell them how bad it, or know all the details. What it looks like, “Tell me more.” Seek to first understand and then to be understood. Focus on the feelings. No story time. You don’t know what this person is going through. No fixing and judgment statements.
  • 3. 45:15 Seek the void. Don’t focus on the behavior. Therapy is there to help find the void.
    • 47:35 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) – you’re human and have feelings about what’s going on in life, it’s not productive to think “I shouldn’t feel this way.” ACT focuses on the story your brain is telling you, fuse to the story and no commitment to getting better. Brain fights hard to keep you where you are. Focusing on the behavior leads to shame. Focusing on the void leads to hope. Leads to connection and overcoming addiction.
    • 51:20 Harm reduction – give them something to anchor to outside the void. Strengths-based model to provide hope and remove shame. Focusing on progress and there will be relapses. Keep the person engaged, feeling hope, and coming back to you rather than “how many days has it been?” Relapse doesn’t mean starting over. Strength-based modality – seeing the highlights and let’s talk about what you were thinking with the relapse. Therapists are important in this process.
  • 4. 58:15 Church discipline used to influence people from their behaviors from informal to formal. Is it good? Stuck in a broken story, will continue in the addiction. Need to let them know that they’re not broken.

1:00:50 Christ’s Atonement in therapy – everyone has issues that have brought them to where they are. We fuse to the story of our brokenness and we don’t have to change. Church discipline has to be done when the person is not feeling broken for it be effective. Disciplinary councils are for renewal and redemption. Brokenness keeps us from redemption.

1:04:45 Purpose of the council of therapists at Leading Saints: talk through these kinds of topics with Tony and two other therapists on the council. Send questions to Leading Saints for future podcasts: leadingsaints.org/contact

1:06:45 Encouragement to bishops

Links

TonyOverbay.com
The Virtual Couch podcast
Path Back Recovery
Perfect Love Casteth Out Fear—Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf, April 2017 General Conference
How Do I Know When I am Forgiven?—Elder Tad R. Callister

]]>
Tony Overbay began his career in the high tech world but felt the call to become a therapist and help men. For the past 13-14 years, he has been a licensed marriage and family therapist with a practice in Roseville, California. Leading Saints Professional Therapists Advisory Board.


Highlights
12:45 Men in therapy - the stigma, stereotypes
14:40 Treatment of pornography addiction - behavior modification, identifying triggers “crimes of opportunity,” then thought, which leads to action/behavior. Tools to put distance between thoughts and action, initially, then work on thought, but have to deal with core issues to heal.
16:30 Core issues—feelings of inadequacy, not feeling connected to partner, job, or faith, poor health—have to be dealt with to heal from addiction. Go-to patterns of behavior learned in youth
17:45 Men have a harder time connecting, less likely to go to therapy, need to find ways to connect with a therapist first before talking about emotions before talking about the elephant in the room
20:45 "The bishop is not the therapist" mentality brings shame to the table because it doesn’t bring the connection. How can bishops help build connections? Bishops need authenticity and vulnerability to build connection, to avoid shame spiral by pushing to get to transgression immediately. Don’t rush it, show gratitude, build relationships, meet with love. A relationship is more important - can’t go and find another bishop, like a person can go find another therapist
26:20 Perfect Love Casteth Out Fear - Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf April 2017 - many bishops over-emphasize shame - sprinkling shame glitter - to make them know they did something "really bad." Have to give people hope and remove shame.
27:30 - Brother Tad Callister- guilt is the stop sign. Shame hangs around guilt and isn’t productive, is negative, and makes people feel horrible. Have to change the conversation because will lie when there are relapses
29:20 - Shame - leaders mix up shame and guilt. Shame is "you’re bad" and not "what you did is bad". Pornography addiction - first exposure - 8 to 11 yo - early exposure to pornography is early sexualization, which changes the wiring of the brain because the brain doesn’t know how to process information. Changes their perception of the world, have to understand with it to work with, and will remove the shame.
32:30 - Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf - minor things take a person further off course over time. What not to say to someone when talking to them because it makes the other person view it as shame and more broken and not empathetic because coming from a different point of view.
33:45 Dr. Patrick Carnes - sexual addiction counselor, sex addiction and pornography can be harder to overcome than drug or alcohol addiction because addictive obsession can cause mood alteration. Sex addicts carry their own source of supply in their brain. Prolonged use alters the brain. Why can’t I get it under control? Bishop asks why and doesn’t understand the why of a person wanting it. Unintended shame happens.
37:20 Double down on the empathy when people share. Jesus saw sin as wrong, but as needs not met. Look into lives of others to see their shortcomings, unmet needs, etc, that aren’t filled that we’re trying to fill. Need to focus on the deeper reason of why we sin and the need we’re trying to meet to become better. Have to help people find something to replace the void. Easier to add things to life than subtract from life.
40:00 - EFT - Emotionally Focused Therapy to connect with a spouse,]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:11:06
How to Support Latter-day Saints Struggling With Depression & Anxiety | An Interview with Jane Clayson Johnson https://leadingsaints.org/how-to-support-latter-day-saints-struggling-with-depression-anxiety-an-interview-with-jane-clayson-johnson/ Sun, 13 Jan 2019 08:00:38 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=47723 Jane Clayson Johnson grew up playing the violin and attended BYU on a music scholarship, then changed her studies to journalism. After graduating, she worked for KSL News in Salt Lake City, then moved to Los Angeles where she was a correspondent for programs such as ABC World News Tonight and Good Morning America. She was later an anchor on The Early Show and a correspondent for CBS. Jane left her full-time job when she married her husband, Mark Johnson, to be a wife and mother. They have two children together and reside in Boston, where she also works as a fill-in host for NPR's On Point. She has written two books, I am a Mother and Silent Souls Weeping. Jane Clayson Johnson Highlights 5:45 About her book, I am a Mother 6:20 Hosts On Point for NPR 6:50 Considers self a storyteller 7:25 Authoring new book, Silent Souls Weeping, on the subject of depression, especially as it relates to her own experience with clinical depression 9:25 Wondered “How can I be so depressed when I am so blessed?” 11:35 After receiving treatment and beginning to feel better, Jane began to speak with others and realize how many people suffer with depression. She began interviewing others, and the book was born. 12:30 All interviews are with faithful Latter-day Saints who have struggled with depression 13:00 Kurt recommends the book for church leaders who are battling with depression, especially since as a leader he did not have any framework to help people who are suffering—no advice to offer beyond “go see a professional”; the book helps him understand different perspectives. 14:25 Jane has learned that we need to reach out and help each other, because so many of us don’t speak about the suffering; feels the worst part of depression is the “profound isolation” 16:30 So often we suffer in silence—it’s where the title of the book comes from, Silent Souls Weeping 17:35 Depression is easy to hide at church 18:00 One bishop made a list of the mental illnesses he saw in his ward and concluded about about one quarter of his ward were affected, and that was just the issues that he knew about 19:35 Depression can block us from feeling the spirit, God’s love 20:10 "It was like the most important part of my soul had been carved out of me" 20:20 When you are depressed and active in a church that often equates happiness with righteousness, depression can be tormenting 22:15 One sister described a sense of desperation, seeking help anywhere, felt depression was a sign that she was somehow unworthy, hypocritical 23:30 Depression happens to us regardless of our circumstances, the loss of the spirit may be the most distressing part of depression and why we need to seek treatment 23:50 Kurt reminds us depression does not only affect those who “don’t understand” the gospel but can affect anyone 24:20 One theme of the book is how depression affects our ability to feel the spirit. Another theme is the stigma attached to depression. 25:25 Kurt tells the story of one sister suffering with depression wished to be in the place of a sister with cancer’s shoes because of the extreme stigma and embarrassment she felt related to suffering with depression 26:30 Jane explains the woman with cancer and woman with severe depression were both admitted to the hospital at the same time—they were sisters. The depressed sister felt like people would treat her and her family differently if she had cancer instead of something stigmatized like depression. 27:25 Depression is not the result of personal inadequacy 27:40 It is not a black mark on your character; when you are in the depths of a clinical depression you cannot pull yourself up by your bootstraps, you are not going to fix it with hard work and discipline 28:05 One woman shared her experience, and her father said why don’t you put that all in a box, and just ignore it -- that’s not particularly helpful 28:20 One BYU student had terrible symptoms of depression, prescribed medication, Jane Clayson Johnson grew up playing the violin and attended BYU on a music scholarship, then changed her studies to journalism. After graduating, she worked for KSL News in Salt Lake City, then moved to Los Angeles where she was a correspondent for programs such as ABC World News Tonight and Good Morning America. She was later an anchor on The Early Show and a correspondent for CBS. Jane left her full-time job when she married her husband, Mark Johnson, to be a wife and mother. They have two children together and reside in Boston, where she also works as a fill-in host for NPR’s On Point. She has written two books, I am a Mother and Silent Souls Weeping.Jane Clayson Johnson Jane Clayson Johnson

Highlights

5:45 About her book, I am a Mother
6:20 Hosts On Point for NPR
6:50 Considers self a storyteller
7:25 Authoring new book, Silent Souls Weeping, on the subject of depression, especially as it relates to her own experience with clinical depression
9:25 Wondered “How can I be so depressed when I am so blessed?”
11:35 After receiving treatment and beginning to feel better, Jane began to speak with others and realize how many people suffer with depression. She began interviewing others, and the book was born.
12:30 All interviews are with faithful Latter-day Saints who have struggled with depression
13:00 Kurt recommends the book for church leaders who are battling with depression, especially since as a leader he did not have any framework to help people who are suffering—no advice to offer beyond “go see a professional”; the book helps him understand different perspectives.
14:25 Jane has learned that we need to reach out and help each other, because so many of us don’t speak about the suffering; feels the worst part of depression is the “profound isolation”
16:30 So often we suffer in silence—it’s where the title of the book comes from, Silent Souls Weeping
17:35 Depression is easy to hide at church
18:00 One bishop made a list of the mental illnesses he saw in his ward and concluded about about one quarter of his ward were affected, and that was just the issues that he knew about
19:35 Depression can block us from feeling the spirit, God’s love
20:10 “It was like the most important part of my soul had been carved out of me”
20:20 When you are depressed and active in a church that often equates happiness with righteousness, depression can be tormenting
22:15 One sister described a sense of desperation, seeking help anywhere, felt depression was a sign that she was somehow unworthy, hypocritical
23:30 Depression happens to us regardless of our circumstances, the loss of the spirit may be the most distressing part of depression and why we need to seek treatment
23:50 Kurt reminds us depression does not only affect those who “don’t understand” the gospel but can affect anyone
24:20 One theme of the book is how depression affects our ability to feel the spirit. Another theme is the stigma attached to depression.
25:25 Kurt tells the story of one sister suffering with depression wished to be in the place of a sister with cancer’s shoes because of the extreme stigma and embarrassment she felt related to suffering with depression
26:30 Jane explains the woman with cancer and woman with severe depression were both admitted to the hospital at the same time—they were sisters. The depressed sister felt like people would treat her and her family differently if she had cancer instead of something stigmatized like depression.
27:25 Depression is not the result of personal inadequacy
27:40 It is not a black mark on your character; when you are in the depths of a clinical depression you cannot pull yourself up by your bootstraps, you are not going to fix it with hard work and discipline
28:05 One woman shared her experience, and her father said why don’t you put that all in a box, and just ignore it — that’s not particularly helpful
28:20 One BYU student had terrible symptoms of depression, prescribed medication, and was so embarrassed that it was a personal failure on her part and flushed the pills down the toilet, suffered for years until she finally went to a doctor for help. Today she is a “stigma-buster” for depression.
29:40 Kurt: How can leaders become stigma-busters?
30:00 Jane says you have to educate yourself about the signs and symptoms of mental illness
30:25 Acknowledge the reality of the biological component and the treatment options
30:40 Bishops are not counselors or therapists, and we should not confuse them with someone in a professional role
31:10 Jane’s neighboring stake in New Hampshire has developed a formal initiative that has a bulls-eye on mental health, a wellness committee off of the stake welfare committee, called M25 using Matthew 25 as an inspiration
31:40 The M25 committee is a resource for all things mental health in the stake, specifically focused on connecting local church leaders to members of the stake with specialized knowledge and experience with mental health issues
32:30 Jane has heard from church leaders that many of their most difficult, dysfunctional cases are driven by underlying mental health problems
34:25 Kurt says you don’t need to understand clinical depression, but as a bishop, having a toolkit available is helpful; leaders don’t need to be the therapist, but they can be reassured that they can help provide resources
35:20 Jane received a text from a friend, who spoke in church about her story with depression
36:05 “The room went silent.” She felt the response was amazing and overwhelmingly positive, and there is talk about her giving her talk in other units.
36:50 Kurt says after reading the book, he thinks that our typical approach to mental illness—to call in a professional to speak on a fifth Sunday—is less effective than asking members to share their personal experiences
37:35 In Jane’s experience, she has learned it’s not a one-off kind of thing; you must keep the conversation going to change the narrative about depression
38:30 Brene Brown: Speak the shame to get rid of it
38:50 “Depression thrives in secrecy but shrinks in empathy”
39:15 Young man who has returned early from his mission, is staying in his room because he feels so terrible and the response he was getting from members. A high councilman shared his experience coming home early from his mission and what it was like when the boy came home, it was a powerful example of what it means to mourn with those that mourn
41:40 Kurt: we leaders often get in fix it mode and that removes us from being in a state of empathy
42:00 Perfectionism
42:30 BYU study, Daniel K Judd: the more that respondents felt that their salvation was primarily a result of their own good works (legalism), the higher were their scores on measures of shame, anxiety, depression, and obsessive compulsive disorders
43:05 Those who understand the principles of grace have dramatically lower scores on all these measures
43:30 Kurt: leaders can default to empathy and never forget to remind members about grace
43:40 Jane learned a lot about grace with her experience
44:00 One woman: I give myself grace
44:20 Jane feels the conversation about perfectionism is important to have, the need to have a veneer of perfection is damaging to our mental health
44:40 We put the scripture “be ye therefore perfect” on steroids; We try to live up to an unattainable standard, and when we do we are not authentic
45:20 Jane’s experience with art therapy: who am I on the inside, and who do I want others to see; the more similar our outside and inside are, the healthier our mental state
47:20 Stop comparing yourself
47:50 Depression and youth/missionaries
48:10 Kurt: what can we understand about full disclosure and the benefits of it (when someone comes home from a mission for depression)?
49:50 Jane: it doesn’t always happen that missionaries receive compassionate support from leaders; one woman was suicidal on her mission and had never been depressed before, but her mission president was not understanding
50:45 There is such shame and stigma attached to coming home early that many missionaries leave the church; we must help these young people, not ask them why they came home early
51:50 Of 80,000 missionaries who serve, 6% come home early, and 36% come home due to mental health issues (most recent statistics Jane could find)
52:20 Kurt: regarding suicide, what would you tell a new bishop to prepare for that scenario
53:50 Jane: turn to Elder Renlund, who recently gave some great interviews on this topic, and he’s an apostle and medical doctor; he reminded us it is totally safe to ask people if they are having thoughts of harming themselves. The idea that asking someone about suicidal thoughts causes people to commit suicide has been debunked.
54:55 There has been a 28% increase in the suicide rate in the US in the past 20 years; in Utah it is the leading cause of death for young people ages 15-24
55:30 LGBTQ+ youth who are rejected by their parents are at 8x higher risk of suicide
57:20 Not talking about suicide can keep people from seeing possibilities or cut them off from help
59:00 Jane feels depression has actually strengthened her testimony; depression tested her, but on the other side of it she recognizes how profoundly the concept of grace plays into her life; she has a hope in the Atonement that she could not have imagined; she knows what it is to call on grace in your darkest moments; she chooses to believe—it’s easy to talk yourself out of faith, but she knows now more than ever that she has a loving Father and a Redeemer; she is grateful for her journey and experience.

Links

Silent Souls Weeping
I am a Mother
Official Church Mental Health and Suicide Prevention sites
Daniel K. Judd study on religion and mental health

]]>
Jane Clayson Johnson grew up playing the violin and attended BYU on a music scholarship, then changed her studies to journalism. After graduating, she worked for KSL News in Salt Lake City, then moved to Los Angeles where she was a correspondent for pr... I am a Mother and Silent Souls Weeping. Jane Clayson Johnson
Highlights
5:45 About her book, I am a Mother
6:20 Hosts On Point for NPR
6:50 Considers self a storyteller
7:25 Authoring new book, Silent Souls Weeping, on the subject of depression, especially as it relates to her own experience with clinical depression
9:25 Wondered “How can I be so depressed when I am so blessed?”
11:35 After receiving treatment and beginning to feel better, Jane began to speak with others and realize how many people suffer with depression. She began interviewing others, and the book was born.
12:30 All interviews are with faithful Latter-day Saints who have struggled with depression
13:00 Kurt recommends the book for church leaders who are battling with depression, especially since as a leader he did not have any framework to help people who are suffering—no advice to offer beyond “go see a professional”; the book helps him understand different perspectives.
14:25 Jane has learned that we need to reach out and help each other, because so many of us don’t speak about the suffering; feels the worst part of depression is the “profound isolation”
16:30 So often we suffer in silence—it’s where the title of the book comes from, Silent Souls Weeping
17:35 Depression is easy to hide at church
18:00 One bishop made a list of the mental illnesses he saw in his ward and concluded about about one quarter of his ward were affected, and that was just the issues that he knew about
19:35 Depression can block us from feeling the spirit, God’s love
20:10 "It was like the most important part of my soul had been carved out of me"
20:20 When you are depressed and active in a church that often equates happiness with righteousness, depression can be tormenting
22:15 One sister described a sense of desperation, seeking help anywhere, felt depression was a sign that she was somehow unworthy, hypocritical
23:30 Depression happens to us regardless of our circumstances, the loss of the spirit may be the most distressing part of depression and why we need to seek treatment
23:50 Kurt reminds us depression does not only affect those who “don’t understand” the gospel but can affect anyone
24:20 One theme of the book is how depression affects our ability to feel the spirit. Another theme is the stigma attached to depression.
25:25 Kurt tells the story of one sister suffering with depression wished to be in the place of a sister with cancer’s shoes because of the extreme stigma and embarrassment she felt related to suffering with depression
26:30 Jane explains the woman with cancer and woman with severe depression were both admitted to the hospital at the same time—they were sisters. The depressed sister felt like people would treat her and her family differently if she had cancer instead of something stigmatized like depression.
27:25 Depression is not the result of personal inadequacy
]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:02:39
One Couple’s Journey Through Sexual Addiction | An Interview with Chris & Autumn Bennett https://leadingsaints.org/leaders-need-to-know-recovery-does-happen-an-interview-with-chris-autumn-bennett/ Sun, 06 Jan 2019 07:49:08 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=47659 Autumn was born and raised in Utah. She met Chris while they were in high school. They have three children, and she is very creative and crafty. Chris also grew up in Utah. When he was of mission age, he told his bishop that he wasn’t going to serve. At a baseball game that same day he very nonchalantly proposed marriage to Autumn. They had been best friends but hadn’t even gone on a single date. Highlights Chris’ Story 6:00 Introduction to pornography and masturbation 6:20 Differences in accessibility between then and now. 6:50 Shame caused him to keep it secret. He wanted to approach his bishop but didn’t know how. 7:30 Sexuality was not openly discussed in his family. 8:20 He began seeking out pornography 9:30 Decision made not to serve a mission 10:15 Avoidance tips and how to help your children: have an open relationship with your children, sons and daughters 10:45 Framing the question: “When was the last time…” as opposed to “If”. 11:15 Don’t let this be a taboo subject. Statistics show that 90% of children are exposed to pornography by age 9. 12:00 Talking about these subjects all along mitigates the shame of approaching parents when something happens. 12:20 When something happens, first express love. 12:45 Talking to the bishop is not a bad or shameful thing, but is a normal part of the healing process. 17:20 Thought getting married would make addictions go away. Most of his friends in recovery had the same belief. 19:00 Called as ward Young Men president. Addictions triggered, multiple affairs began. 21:20 First meeting with bishop after getting caught, getting released, and the disciplinary council. Wanted to keep from his wife. Confessed only to the one affair, kept all else secret. 23:30 Example of the “addict brain”: he prayed to be excommunicated so that upon rebaptism he could be forgiven of all the other things which he had not disclosed. 29:00 Disfellowshipped. Starts marriage counseling. 29:30 Autumn confronts him about additional affairs, is hospitalized for a suicide attempt. Bargains with God to stop all bad behavior if Autumn lives. She survives. Chris begins disclosing most of his secrets to Autumn. 35:00 Breaking those promises to God. 36:00 The wisdom of allowing time to pass between a traumatic event and holding a disciplinary council. A buffer of time allows for stability and opportunity for spiritual healing. 36:40 Chris’ disciplinary councils were some the most spiritual experiences he’s ever had, and allowed him to feel God’s love, with the love of those in the council. 37:35 Excommunicated. 48:30 Church-sponsored Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) meetings: bishops are encouraged to attend shortly after being called so that they can refer individuals with knowledge of the resource. 1:02:10 Autumn empowers him to finally disclose every detail during a therapy session. True healing begins. Autumn and Chris start their therapy from square one, the real starting point for their recovery. 1:08:00 After full disclosure, commits 100% to church and Autumn. Focuses on falling back in love with her, by Checking in with her daily. Praying daily, asking for help to love her again. Studying his scriptures every night and finding personal application, which he then communicated with Autumn. 10 years sober, still maintains these habits. 1:12:00 Finally gives self to Christ. 1:13:15 Leaders are there to empathize, connect, and to love--not to fix. Leaders assist members in coming to a point where they are ready to give themselves to Christ. Until members embrace “the formula” for themselves (read, pray, go to church), that surrender to Christ will not fully take place. 1:14:25 Reconvening council: re-baptism, patriarchal blessing, and priesthood blessing restoration. 1:16:00 Finding normalcy again and “maintenance” therapy. 1:19:35 “Recovery”: still tempted all the time and has to choose between “acting out” and “reaching out”, Autumn was born and raised in Utah. She met Chris while they were in high school. They have three children, and she is very creative and crafty. Chris also grew up in Utah. When he was of mission age, he told his bishop that he wasn’t going to serve. At a baseball game that same day he very nonchalantly proposed marriage to Autumn. They had been best friends but hadn’t even gone on a single date.

Highlights

Chris’ Story

6:00 Introduction to pornography and masturbation

  • 6:20 Differences in accessibility between then and now.
  • 6:50 Shame caused him to keep it secret. He wanted to approach his bishop but didn’t know how.
  • 7:30 Sexuality was not openly discussed in his family.
  • 8:20 He began seeking out pornography
  • 9:30 Decision made not to serve a mission

10:15 Avoidance tips and how to help your children: have an open relationship with your children, sons and daughters

  • 10:45 Framing the question: “When was the last time…” as opposed to “If”.
  • 11:15 Don’t let this be a taboo subject. Statistics show that 90% of children are exposed to pornography by age 9.
  • 12:00 Talking about these subjects all along mitigates the shame of approaching parents when something happens.
  • 12:20 When something happens, first express love.
  • 12:45 Talking to the bishop is not a bad or shameful thing, but is a normal part of the healing process.

17:20 Thought getting married would make addictions go away. Most of his friends in recovery had the same belief.
19:00 Called as ward Young Men president. Addictions triggered, multiple affairs began.
21:20 First meeting with bishop after getting caught, getting released, and the disciplinary council. Wanted to keep from his wife. Confessed only to the one affair, kept all else secret.
23:30 Example of the “addict brain”: he prayed to be excommunicated so that upon rebaptism he could be forgiven of all the other things which he had not disclosed.
29:00 Disfellowshipped. Starts marriage counseling.
29:30 Autumn confronts him about additional affairs, is hospitalized for a suicide attempt. Bargains with God to stop all bad behavior if Autumn lives. She survives. Chris begins disclosing most of his secrets to Autumn.
35:00 Breaking those promises to God.
36:00 The wisdom of allowing time to pass between a traumatic event and holding a disciplinary council. A buffer of time allows for stability and opportunity for spiritual healing.
36:40 Chris’ disciplinary councils were some the most spiritual experiences he’s ever had, and allowed him to feel God’s love, with the love of those in the council.
37:35 Excommunicated.
48:30 Church-sponsored Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) meetings: bishops are encouraged to attend shortly after being called so that they can refer individuals with knowledge of the resource.
1:02:10 Autumn empowers him to finally disclose every detail during a therapy session. True healing begins. Autumn and Chris start their therapy from square one, the real starting point for their recovery.
1:08:00 After full disclosure, commits 100% to church and Autumn. Focuses on falling back in love with her, by

  • Checking in with her daily.
  • Praying daily, asking for help to love her again.
  • Studying his scriptures every night and finding personal application, which he then communicated with Autumn.
  • 10 years sober, still maintains these habits.

1:12:00 Finally gives self to Christ.
1:13:15 Leaders are there to empathize, connect, and to love–not to fix. Leaders assist members in coming to a point where they are ready to give themselves to Christ. Until members embrace “the formula” for themselves (read, pray, go to church), that surrender to Christ will not fully take place.
1:14:25 Reconvening council: re-baptism, patriarchal blessing, and priesthood blessing restoration.
1:16:00 Finding normalcy again and “maintenance” therapy.
1:19:35 “Recovery”: still tempted all the time and has to choose between “acting out” and “reaching out”, but does have strength and stability. Temptations no longer overwhelming. Situation avoidance is imperative.
1:28:00 Willing to be contacted about their story.

1:29:45 Advice for bishops who cannot seem to help addicts.

Autumn’s Story

15:30 Daughter of teen parents, divorced when she was eight. Father’s infidelity created her biggest fear of having the same thing happen to her.
16:00 Development of her testimony, knowing that she would marry Chris.
22:35 State of shock when Chris confessed, attending his disciplinary council only four days later.
25:20 Autumn concluded her suspicions might be linked with postpartum depression. Frequent fighting. Chris “gaslights” her. Began therapy. Chris convinces therapist that Autumn was the problem.
37:40 Autumn’s negative experience with the disciplinary council. She shares her feelings, testimony, and her account of the events. Only one person asked her “How are you doing?” Was counseled simply to forgive and move on, when everything was still so fresh. Aggrieved persons need to understand how they can be healed through Christ’s Atonement.
39:20 “I think spouses of addicts are overlooked a lot.” Chris meets very regularly with the bishop, but Autumn meets only sporadically. Does not feel as though she was heard. Interactions with friends not focused on helping her heal.
40:40 At the time of Chris’ discipline, sexual addiction gains more mainstream acknowledgment as a disease, but still stigmatized and misunderstood. Autumn misunderstands true nature of addiction and assumes they might spend just a few months in therapy and Chris would be better.
42:00 Be mindful of the spouses. Understand that they need to be checked up on regularly as well so that the first time they hear “how are you doing?” isn’t in the disciplinary council setting.
43:20 Asked not to share their story at the time of the disciplinary council, causing Autumn to feel isolated and alone with no trustworthy outlet. Chris also feels alone, as if he is the only person struggling with sexual addiction. Leadership changes and now they are asked to share, and participate in 5th Sunday lessons, firesides, etc. Bishops can facilitate communication or putting members in touch with other members who have similar struggles, in order to provide support and eliminate feelings of isolation. It can also promote accountability.
47:40 Autumn wants to share with some friends but follows the counsel not to do so. After years in recovery, she found people with whom she could share but warns that there are those who are not safe to share with.
52:30 Areas of recovery from ARP:

  • Understand how to use the Atonement
  • Use your ecclesiastical leaders (keyholders)
  • Find a trustworthy support person/sponsor
  • Seek out competent counseling/therapeutic outlet (e.g., LDS Family Services)
  • Seek out a twelve-step program

55:20 Even after confession, excommunication, therapy, and ARP, Chris still holds back. The complete their phases of counseling, but something is still not right. Autumn is codependent, in her words: “I love you so much that I will do whatever it takes to heal you.” This approach is normal and typical. Chris isn’t progressing, Autumn prays for help and receives an overwhelming feeling to let God take care of Chris while she focuses on her own healing. If she does so, God would heal her. She approaches her own therapy and recovery in a new and higher way. She lets go of Chris and gives him to Christ.
59:30 She “calls out” Chris on his insincere approach to recovery. Tells him that she is strong enough to be able to handle any of his other secrets. This enables him to disclose the rest of what had been holding him back in his progress.
1:00:35 Spouses can unwittingly create problems with statements like “if you ever had an affair or looked at pornography, I’d divorce you.” Then later on if malfeasance takes place, the fear of divorce promotes secrecy. This was Chris’ situation, from Autumn’s experience watching her dad’s affairs.
1:05:20 Bishops are keyholders, but they are still mere mortals who make mistakes who may say the wrong thing at the wrong time, or may not have the best answer all the time. They are not professional therapists and need to know when to refer congregants to professionals.
1:06:30 Spouses knowing every detail is not helpful and can be more damaging.
1:18:25 Autumn can still be triggered, but she communicates that openly with Chris.
1:25:10 We all have our own story. There is no one-size-fits-all solution. The Atonement allowed Autumn to recover from being filled with hate.

Links

]]>
Autumn was born and raised in Utah. She met Chris while they were in high school. They have three children, and she is very creative and crafty. Chris also grew up in Utah. When he was of mission age, he told his bishop that he wasn’t going to serve. Highlights
Chris’ Story
6:00 Introduction to pornography and masturbation


* 6:20 Differences in accessibility between then and now.
* 6:50 Shame caused him to keep it secret. He wanted to approach his bishop but didn’t know how.
* 7:30 Sexuality was not openly discussed in his family.
* 8:20 He began seeking out pornography
* 9:30 Decision made not to serve a mission

10:15 Avoidance tips and how to help your children: have an open relationship with your children, sons and daughters


* 10:45 Framing the question: “When was the last time…” as opposed to “If”.
* 11:15 Don’t let this be a taboo subject. Statistics show that 90% of children are exposed to pornography by age 9.
* 12:00 Talking about these subjects all along mitigates the shame of approaching parents when something happens.
* 12:20 When something happens, first express love.
* 12:45 Talking to the bishop is not a bad or shameful thing, but is a normal part of the healing process.

17:20 Thought getting married would make addictions go away. Most of his friends in recovery had the same belief.
19:00 Called as ward Young Men president. Addictions triggered, multiple affairs began.
21:20 First meeting with bishop after getting caught, getting released, and the disciplinary council. Wanted to keep from his wife. Confessed only to the one affair, kept all else secret.
23:30 Example of the “addict brain”: he prayed to be excommunicated so that upon rebaptism he could be forgiven of all the other things which he had not disclosed.
29:00 Disfellowshipped. Starts marriage counseling.
29:30 Autumn confronts him about additional affairs, is hospitalized for a suicide attempt. Bargains with God to stop all bad behavior if Autumn lives. She survives. Chris begins disclosing most of his secrets to Autumn.
35:00 Breaking those promises to God.
36:00 The wisdom of allowing time to pass between a traumatic event and holding a disciplinary council. A buffer of time allows for stability and opportunity for spiritual healing.
36:40 Chris’ disciplinary councils were some the most spiritual experiences he’s ever had, and allowed him to feel God’s love, with the love of those in the council.
37:35 Excommunicated.
48:30 Church-sponsored Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) meetings: bishops are encouraged to attend shortly after being called so that they can refer individuals with knowledge of the resource.
1:02:10 Autumn empowers him to finally disclose every detail during a therapy session. True healing begins. Autumn and Chris start their therapy from square one, the real starting point for their recovery.
1:08:00 After full disclosure, commits 100% to church and Autumn. Focuses on falling back in love with her, by


* Checking in with her daily.
* Praying daily, asking for help to love her again.
* Studying his scriptures every night and finding personal application, which he then communicated with Autumn.
* 10 years sober, still maintains these habits.

1:12:00 Finally gives self to Christ.
1:13:15 Leaders are there to empathize, connect, and to love--not to fix. Leaders assist members in coming to a point where they are ready to give themselves to Christ. Until members embrace “the formula” for themselves (read, pray, go to church),]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:29:24
Developing Leaders Through Immersive Learning | An Interview with LDS Business College Leadership Students https://leadingsaints.org/developing-leaders-through-immersive-learning-an-interview-with-lds-business-college-leadership-students/ Sun, 16 Dec 2018 08:00:45 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=47250 Kurt Francom, the host of the Leading Saints podcast, is an adjunct professor at LDS Business College in Salt Lake City, Utah. During the fall semester, he taught a class called Leadership for Life and this episode is the main part of a final project of the course. You will hear from President Bruce C. Kusch, president of LDS Business College, and several students who were in the class. As this semester had gone by his class has gone thru many experiences in which they have been able to grow and change due to the way this style of learning. This new style of learning has been developed with the help of the college president, President Bruce Kusch, to create a new way of learning that they hope to bring to the whole curriculum of LDS Business College. Along with President Kusch and the students, they have been willing to share just how this changed them and made them into young leaders that can go forward in this world and be a light to follow. They have been willing to share some of the principles include: Becoming Converted to and hard work How to become unified by leading with friends Finding the courage to lead by creating a personal vision This Leadership for Life class has grown into a group of leaders that have demonstrated the necessary skills to become the young leaders that are so instrumental to create change in their own lives and the lives of others. We invite you to listen to his student’s experiences as they have grown in his class and how their stories can help you to become a leader through the darkness. You should also consider how you can stimulate an immersive learning environment in your ward and specifically in the lives of the leaders you work with. After listening to this episode we invite you to TAKE A SHORT SURVEY that will help the students get feedback about the quality of the podcast episode (their final project). Links: Learner-Centered Teaching: Five Key Changes to Practices (this is a book that teaches more about immersive learning styles) LDS Business College Website President Henry B. Eyring's Devotional Address Take the feedback survey Kurt Francom, the host of the Leading Saints podcast, is an adjunct professor at LDS Business College in Salt Lake City, Utah. During the fall semester, he taught a class called Leadership for Life and this episode is the main part of a final project of the course. You will hear from President Bruce C. Kusch, president of LDS Business College, and several students who were in the class.

As this semester had gone by his class has gone thru many experiences in which they have been able to grow and change due to the way this style of learning. This new style of learning has been developed with the help of the college president, President Bruce Kusch, to create a new way of learning that they hope to bring to the whole curriculum of LDS Business College. Along with President Kusch and the students, they have been willing to share just how this changed them and made them into young leaders that can go forward in this world and be a light to follow. They have been willing to share some of the principles include:

  • Becoming Converted to and hard work
  • How to become unified by leading with friends
  • Finding the courage to lead by creating a personal vision

This Leadership for Life class has grown into a group of leaders that have demonstrated the necessary skills to become the young leaders that are so instrumental to create change in their own lives and the lives of others.

We invite you to listen to his student’s experiences as they have grown in his class and how their stories can help you to become a leader through the darkness.

You should also consider how you can stimulate an immersive learning environment in your ward and specifically in the lives of the leaders you work with.

After listening to this episode we invite you to TAKE A SHORT SURVEY that will help the students get feedback about the quality of the podcast episode (their final project).

Links:

Learner-Centered Teaching: Five Key Changes to Practices (this is a book that teaches more about immersive learning styles)

LDS Business College Website

President Henry B. Eyring’s Devotional Address

Take the feedback survey

]]>
Kurt Francom, the host of the Leading Saints podcast, is an adjunct professor at LDS Business College in Salt Lake City, Utah. During the fall semester, he taught a class called Leadership for Life and this episode is the main part of a final project o... LDS Business College in Salt Lake City, Utah. During the fall semester, he taught a class called Leadership for Life and this episode is the main part of a final project of the course. You will hear from President Bruce C. Kusch, president of LDS Business College, and several students who were in the class.

As this semester had gone by his class has gone thru many experiences in which they have been able to grow and change due to the way this style of learning. This new style of learning has been developed with the help of the college president, President Bruce Kusch, to create a new way of learning that they hope to bring to the whole curriculum of LDS Business College. Along with President Kusch and the students, they have been willing to share just how this changed them and made them into young leaders that can go forward in this world and be a light to follow. They have been willing to share some of the principles include:

* Becoming Converted to and hard work
* How to become unified by leading with friends
* Finding the courage to lead by creating a personal vision

This Leadership for Life class has grown into a group of leaders that have demonstrated the necessary skills to become the young leaders that are so instrumental to create change in their own lives and the lives of others.

We invite you to listen to his student’s experiences as they have grown in his class and how their stories can help you to become a leader through the darkness.

You should also consider how you can stimulate an immersive learning environment in your ward and specifically in the lives of the leaders you work with.
After listening to this episode we invite you to TAKE A SHORT SURVEY that will help the students get feedback about the quality of the podcast episode (their final project).

Links:
Learner-Centered Teaching: Five Key Changes to Practices (this is a book that teaches more about immersive learning styles)

LDS Business College Website

President Henry B. Eyring's Devotional Address

Take the feedback survey]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:03:26
How I Lead as the Bishop’s Wife | An Interview with Alanna Francom https://leadingsaints.org/how-i-lead-as-the-bishops-wife-an-interview-with-alanna-francom/ Sun, 09 Dec 2018 14:25:32 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=47083 Alanna Francom grew up outside of Blackfoot, Idaho, the oldest of seven children. She attended Brigham Young University–Idaho and then decided to become a massage therapist and went to school in Salt Lake City, Utah. She met her husband, Kurt, in a Young Single Adult ward in Salt Lake, and has served alongside him while he was a bishop and in a stake presidency. They have two children. If you are a former/current bishop's wife, consider TAKING OUR SURVEY. Highlights 3:00 How Kurt and Alanna met 9:00 The need for content around being a bishop's wife 11:15 The bishop's wife is an unofficial calling 11:45 When Kurt was called as bishop 13:50 Alanna's perspective on their marriage during Kurt's time in leadership positions 16:40 Changes when Kurt was called to the stake presidency 17:10 Dealing with situational depression 20:40 Leadership principles: Advice for the bishop's wife Share experiences: Grow in the experience together It is helpful to know what he is doing and see the purpose of his service How to share and still maintain confidentiality (25:00) Make it a family calling (26:15) Rewarding to participate in visits together Ask yourself: What sort of bishop's wife do I want to be? Stake presidents: Invite the family to stand when the bishop is called (29:00) Look for simple family traditions to incorporate into your service Finding connection (31:40) Attended the wards Kurt visited as counselor in stake presidency Connected with ward members, stake presidency families, bishopric/stake presidency wives lunches Bishopric/presidency meetings as "guys night out" (35:40) Possibility of feeling left out Go out of the way to seek that sort of connection for yourself Bishops: Allow your wife to have spiritual opportunities at church (38:00) Sometimes it's hard and that's okay (38:40) "My wife has never complained" testimony (40:00) It's okay to give yourself permission to be sad, to want your husband there when he isn't Let yourself feel the feelings and be aware, and that will help dissipate it (42:45) Talk about what you're feeling and have real conversations with your husband 45:20 Sharing Leading Saints feedback with Kurt and meeting listeners 45:50 Sharing growth experiences through callings has strengthened her testimony Links Leading Others to be Better Than Happy | An Interview with Jody Moore Be Bold with Jody Moore Alanna Francom grew up outside of Blackfoot, Idaho, the oldest of seven children. She attended Brigham Young University–Idaho and then decided to become a massage therapist and went to school in Salt Lake City, Utah. She met her husband, Kurt, in a Young Single Adult ward in Salt Lake, and has served alongside him while he was a bishop and in a stake presidency. They have two children.

If you are a former/current bishop’s wife, consider TAKING OUR SURVEY.

Highlights

3:00 How Kurt and Alanna met
9:00 The need for content around being a bishop’s wife
11:15 The bishop’s wife is an unofficial calling
11:45 When Kurt was called as bishop
13:50 Alanna’s perspective on their marriage during Kurt’s time in leadership positions
16:40 Changes when Kurt was called to the stake presidency
17:10 Dealing with situational depression
20:40 Leadership principles: Advice for the bishop’s wife

  1. Share experiences: Grow in the experience together
    • It is helpful to know what he is doing and see the purpose of his service
    • How to share and still maintain confidentiality (25:00)
  2. Make it a family calling (26:15)
    • Rewarding to participate in visits together
    • Ask yourself: What sort of bishop’s wife do I want to be?
    • Stake presidents: Invite the family to stand when the bishop is called (29:00)
    • Look for simple family traditions to incorporate into your service
  3. Finding connection (31:40)
    • Attended the wards Kurt visited as counselor in stake presidency
    • Connected with ward members, stake presidency families, bishopric/stake presidency wives lunches
    • Bishopric/presidency meetings as “guys night out” (35:40)
      • Possibility of feeling left out
      • Go out of the way to seek that sort of connection for yourself
    • Bishops: Allow your wife to have spiritual opportunities at church (38:00)
  4. Sometimes it’s hard and that’s okay (38:40)
    • “My wife has never complained” testimony (40:00)
    • It’s okay to give yourself permission to be sad, to want your husband there when he isn’t
    • Let yourself feel the feelings and be aware, and that will help dissipate it (42:45)
    • Talk about what you’re feeling and have real conversations with your husband

45:20 Sharing Leading Saints feedback with Kurt and meeting listeners
45:50 Sharing growth experiences through callings has strengthened her testimony

Links

Leading Others to be Better Than Happy | An Interview with Jody Moore
Be Bold with Jody Moore

]]>
Alanna Francom grew up outside of Blackfoot, Idaho, the oldest of seven children. She attended Brigham Young University–Idaho and then decided to become a massage therapist and went to school in Salt Lake City, Utah. She met her husband, Kurt,
If you are a former/current bishop's wife, consider TAKING OUR SURVEY.
Highlights
3:00 How Kurt and Alanna met
9:00 The need for content around being a bishop's wife
11:15 The bishop's wife is an unofficial calling
11:45 When Kurt was called as bishop
13:50 Alanna's perspective on their marriage during Kurt's time in leadership positions
16:40 Changes when Kurt was called to the stake presidency
17:10 Dealing with situational depression
20:40 Leadership principles: Advice for the bishop's wife

* Share experiences: Grow in the experience together

* It is helpful to know what he is doing and see the purpose of his service
* How to share and still maintain confidentiality (25:00)


* Make it a family calling (26:15)

* Rewarding to participate in visits together
* Ask yourself: What sort of bishop's wife do I want to be?
* Stake presidents: Invite the family to stand when the bishop is called (29:00)
* Look for simple family traditions to incorporate into your service


* Finding connection (31:40)

* Attended the wards Kurt visited as counselor in stake presidency
* Connected with ward members, stake presidency families, bishopric/stake presidency wives lunches
* Bishopric/presidency meetings as "guys night out" (35:40)

* Possibility of feeling left out
* Go out of the way to seek that sort of connection for yourself


* Bishops: Allow your wife to have spiritual opportunities at church (38:00)


* Sometimes it's hard and that's okay (38:40)

* "My wife has never complained" testimony (40:00)
* It's okay to give yourself permission to be sad, to want your husband there when he isn't
* Let yourself feel the feelings and be aware, and that will help dissipate it (42:45)
* Talk about what you're feeling and have real conversations with your husband



45:20 Sharing Leading Saints feedback with Kurt and meeting listeners
45:50 Sharing growth experiences through callings has strengthened her testimony
Links
Leading Others to be Better Than Happy | An Interview with Jody Moore
Be Bold with Jody Moore]]>
Leading Saints clean 49:14
#LightTheWorld https://leadingsaints.org/lighttheworld-2/ Tue, 04 Dec 2018 08:00:15 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=46912 What a beautiful time of year it is to focus on the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. The #LightTheWorld campaign online is one of my favorite parts of this season and we hope that everyone will feel the effects of this effort. I am grateful for the opportunity we have had to team up with other Latter-day Saint podcasters and share of the sweet spirit of Christmas. In this episode you will hear from the following podcast hosts: Shawn Rapier, Latter-day Lives Podcast Nick Galieti, Latter-day Saint MissionCast Zack Cordell, Latter-day Saint Nutritionist Richie Steadman, The Cultural Hall Brandt Malone & Jenny Dye, Mormon News Report Jay & Brad, The Next Step Podcast Other Links: Lighttheworld.org Share your December 23 plans What a beautiful time of year it is to focus on the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. The #LightTheWorld campaign online is one of my favorite parts of this season and we hope that everyone will feel the effects of this effort.

I am grateful for the opportunity we have had to team up with other Latter-day Saint podcasters and share of the sweet spirit of Christmas. In this episode you will hear from the following podcast hosts:

Other Links:

]]>
What a beautiful time of year it is to focus on the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. The #LightTheWorld campaign online is one of my favorite parts of this season and we hope that everyone will feel the effects of this effort. -
I am grateful for the opportunity we have had to team up with other Latter-day Saint podcasters and share of the sweet spirit of Christmas. In this episode you will hear from the following podcast hosts:

* Shawn Rapier, Latter-day Lives Podcast
* Nick Galieti, Latter-day Saint MissionCast
* Zack Cordell, Latter-day Saint Nutritionist
* Richie Steadman, The Cultural Hall
* Brandt Malone & Jenny Dye, Mormon News Report
* Jay & Brad, The Next Step Podcast

Other Links:

* Lighttheworld.org
* Share your December 23 plans
]]>
Leading Saints clean 45:04
Leading with Your God-Given Talents | An Interview with Dustin Peterson https://leadingsaints.org/leading-with-your-god-given-talents-an-interview-with-dustin-peterson/ Sun, 02 Dec 2018 16:07:26 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=46790 Dustin Peterson is a leadership trainer with Proof Leadership Group and works with organizations to help develop their culture. He is also the author of “Reset: How to Get Paid and Love What You Do”, and coaches individuals to help them get unstuck in their careers. He currently serves in a stake presidency in Houston, Texas, and has previously served on a high council and as an early morning seminary teacher. In this podcast, Dustin talks about why we often believe we don't have talents, and how to identify and put our talents to work to bless those we lead and serve. Highlights 8:00 Calling to the Stake Presidency 10:10 Talents: People believe they don’t have them and don’t know how to identify them; helping people identify their talents is a tremendous gift 11:35 Identifying talents first allows us to magnify them 12:20 Talents are superpowers. They are powerful skills that make you unique. 14:30 Men are that they might have joy (2 Nephi 2:25) 15:10 Parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14-30) Every person has talents (verse 15) You can gain more talents (verse 15) Talents lead to joy (verse 21) When we are afraid, we tend to hide our talents (verse 25) Everyone that uses their talents gets more (verse 29) Those who bury them have them taken away (verse 29) 16:30 Elders Quorum discussion of talents vs. 6th-grade class discussion of talents 19:45 The Broken Paradigm: What’s the problem with identifying our talents? Our mindsets Deficit perspective: we identify our weaknesses (22:30) Scarcity belief: a few people have talents and the rest are left behind (25:30) Humility complex: we overvalue humility when it comes to talent and talk ourselves out of our own talents 28:00 The secret is to be grateful. 29:00 How do we identify our talents? Definition: Things you do naturally, consistently well. Think energy. Skills are transferable and can be taught; talents are innate, energizing, and can be developed; a sign of talent is that it is instinctual 33:50 Talents energize and makes us feel good; we can become highly skilled at a weakness 34:20 What moments in my calling do I feel energized in? 36:00 God knows our talents and if we use our talents to serve, we will get where we need to be 36:30 Diversify your perspective on talents; talents come in three varieties, but we only give respect to “doing” talents Doing: arranging, organizing, developing, communicating, writing Thinking: connecting, influencing, positivity, relating, empathy Feeling: ideating, inputting information, learning, analyzing 41:30 What do you do when you don’t have a talent in a certain area? God expects us to develop all of these talents 42:15 Examples of talents that are easy to identify, and talents that are more difficult to notice Easy: being a good athlete, gardening, singing, dancing, playing a musical instrument, drawing, painting, sculpting, cooking, baking, writing, public speaking, teaching, acting, composing songs, sewing, storytelling, repairing things, photography, bow hunting Less easy to notice: having empathy, being a peacemaker, being positive and energetic, communicating effectively, being a good listener, having self-control/discipline, being able to make decisions, setting goals, getting tasks accomplished, giving service, inputting or retaining information, mentally organizing information, analyzing and sorting data, being friendly and kind to others, putting others at ease, seeing the good in others, thrift, punctuality 45:00 Talent is the “How” (Simon Sinek’s concentric circles) and it remains the same through any “What” 46:40 Identify your best day in the past 6 months in your calling and take notes on it. What were you doing? Who was it with/to/for? Why was it so meaningful? Talents release motivation and energy: your talents are buried in all of this information 48:50 Artistic abilities as talents can extend beyond a sin... Dustin Peterson is a leadership trainer with Proof Leadership Group and works with organizations to help develop their culture. He is also the author of “Reset: How to Get Paid and Love What You Do”, and coaches individuals to help them get unstuck in ... Proof Leadership Group and works with organizations to help develop their culture. He is also the author of “Reset: How to Get Paid and Love What You Do”, and coaches individuals to help them get unstuck in their careers. He currently serves in a stake presidency in Houston, Texas, and has previously served on a high council and as an early morning seminary teacher. In this podcast, Dustin talks about why we often believe we don't have talents, and how to identify and put our talents to work to bless those we lead and serve.
Highlights
8:00 Calling to the Stake Presidency
10:10 Talents: People believe they don’t have them and don’t know how to identify them; helping people identify their talents is a tremendous gift
11:35 Identifying talents first allows us to magnify them
12:20 Talents are superpowers. They are powerful skills that make you unique.
14:30 Men are that they might have joy (2 Nephi 2:25)
15:10 Parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14-30)


* Every person has talents (verse 15)
* You can gain more talents (verse 15)
* Talents lead to joy (verse 21)
* When we are afraid, we tend to hide our talents (verse 25)
* Everyone that uses their talents gets more (verse 29)
* Those who bury them have them taken away (verse 29)

16:30 Elders Quorum discussion of talents vs. 6th-grade class discussion of talents
19:45 The Broken Paradigm: What’s the problem with identifying our talents? Our mindsets


* Deficit perspective: we identify our weaknesses
* (22:30) Scarcity belief: a few people have talents and the rest are left behind
* (25:30) Humility complex: we overvalue humility when it comes to talent and talk ourselves out of our own talents

28:00 The secret is to be grateful.
29:00 How do we identify our talents?


* Definition: Things you do naturally, consistently well. Think energy.
* Skills are transferable and can be taught; talents are innate, energizing, and can be developed; a sign of talent is that it is instinctual
* 33:50 Talents energize and makes us feel good; we can become highly skilled at a weakness
* 34:20 What moments in my calling do I feel energized in?
* 36:00 God knows our talents and if we use our talents to serve, we will get where we need to be
* 36:30 Diversify your perspective on talents; talents come in three varieties, but we only give respect to “doing” talents

* Doing: arranging, organizing, developing, communicating, writing
* Thinking: connecting, influencing, positivity, relating, empathy
* Feeling: ideating, inputting information, learning, analyzing



41:30 What do you do when you don’t have a talent in a certain area? God expects us to develop all of these talents
42:15 Examples of talents that are easy to identify, and talents that are more difficult to notice


* Easy: being a good athlete, gardening, singing, dancing, playing a musical instrument, drawing, painting, sculpting, cooking, baking, writing, public speaking, teaching, acting, composing songs, sewing, storytelling, repairing things, photography, bow hunting
* Less easy to notice: having empathy, being a peacemaker, being positive and energetic, communicating effectively, being a good listener, having self-control/discipline, being able to make decisions, setting goals, getting tasks accomplished, giving service, inputting or retaining information, mentally organizing information, analyzing and sorting data, being friendly and kind to others, putting others at ease,]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:04:14
Being the Child of a Gay Parent in Latter-day Saint Culture | An Interview with Mike Ramsey https://leadingsaints.org/being-the-child-of-a-gay-parent-in-latter-day-saint-culture-an-interview-with-mike-ramsey/ Sun, 25 Nov 2018 08:00:08 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=46420 Mike Ramsey lives in Burley, Idaho, with his wife and four children (ages two to nine years). He is president of Nifty Marketing, an internet marketing company, an author and speaker, and currently serves in his stake young men presidency. He was raised in a single-parent home with a lesbian mother, and his experience coming to terms with his his mother’s sexuality has taught him tools that other leaders can use to better connect with and support the youth they lead. Highlights 8:00 Mike's mother’s struggles with the Church, dating his father, and acknowledging her same-gender attraction 11:30 How Mike finally connected with his father 14:30 His experience as a youth, learning about and dealing with his mother’s same-sex attraction 18:00 His mother’s struggles with religion and living in a spiritual but inactive home 21:00 Why he moved to his grandparents’ home, struggling with shame, and not knowing how to handle his mother’s sexuality 23:10 How he started going to church with his grandparents and friends 25:25 Wanting to belong: it’s hard to be different and no one was willing to talk about Mike’s experience growing up with a gay parent. Leaders need to be willing to talk with youth about what they are experiencing, and just listening. It’s not about the answer, but about the conversation. 29:15 Most youth want to learn how to live their lives and need leaders to open the door for conversation by sharing their own genuine life experiences. Youth need to hear the vulnerable experiences about how adults struggled as they were growing up. Shame is eliminated when we talk openly about our own lives. 34:45 The cultural experience in the Church where no one is willing to talk about mistakes or transgressions they have experienced, and how that creates shame. This is changing as the Church is embracing transparency, but the transparency of sharing difficult life experiences hasn’t yet been embraced by everyone. 38:05 Example of Alma the Younger and how approaching the Atonement that way facilitates trust between leaders and youth 39:10 Trusting the bishop: Kurt’s experience as a bishop with a young man who only went to see him because his mom told him to 40:30 Building trust as a bishop 42:00 How youth leaders can help youth who are afraid to open up to their bishop 43:40 Mike’s mission experience and creating connections of trust with his mission president, who was open and willing to love his missionaries. Experiencing sanctification through the Holy Ghost when he was finally able to connect to a leader who was willing to be vulnerable and accepting. 50:50 Finally coming to terms with his shame and struggles about his mom’s sexuality, her difficult choices, and finally accepting who she is 55:45 We are all broken in big and little ways, and fall short of the perfection of God. Asking questions, listening, and seeing people through the Savior’s eyes can help us be accepting of each other. Mike Ramsey lives in Burley, Idaho, with his wife and four children (ages two to nine years). He is president of Nifty Marketing, an internet marketing company, an author and speaker, and currently serves in his stake young men presidency.

Highlights
8:00 Mike's mother’s struggles with the Church, dating his father, and acknowledging her same-gender attraction

11:30 How Mike finally connected with his father

14:30 His experience as a youth, learning about and dealing with his mother’s same-sex attraction

18:00 His mother’s struggles with religion and living in a spiritual but inactive home

21:00 Why he moved to his grandparents’ home, struggling with shame, and not knowing how to handle his mother’s sexuality

23:10 How he started going to church with his grandparents and friends

25:25 Wanting to belong: it’s hard to be different and no one was willing to talk about Mike’s experience growing up with a gay parent. Leaders need to be willing to talk with youth about what they are experiencing, and just listening. It’s not about the answer, but about the conversation.

29:15 Most youth want to learn how to live their lives and need leaders to open the door for conversation by sharing their own genuine life experiences. Youth need to hear the vulnerable experiences about how adults struggled as they were growing up. Shame is eliminated when we talk openly about our own lives.

34:45 The cultural experience in the Church where no one is willing to talk about mistakes or transgressions they have experienced, and how that creates shame. This is changing as the Church is embracing transparency, but the transparency of sharing difficult life experiences hasn’t yet been embraced by everyone.

38:05 Example of Alma the Younger and how approaching the Atonement that way facilitates trust between leaders and youth

39:10 Trusting the bishop: Kurt’s experience as a bishop with a young man who only went to see him because his mom told him to

40:30 Building trust as a bishop

42:00 How youth leaders can help youth who are afraid to open up to their bishop

43:40 Mike’s mission experience and creating connections of trust with his mission president, who was open and willing to love his missionaries. Experiencing sanctification through the Holy Ghost when he was finally able to connect to a leader who was willing to be vulnerable and accepting.

50:50 Finally coming to terms with his shame and struggles about his mom’s sexuality, her difficult choices, and finally accepting who she is

55:45 We are all broken in big and little ways, and fall short of the perfection of God. Asking questions, listening, and seeing people through the Savior’s eyes can help us be accepting of each other.]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:01:16
How I Lead as General Relief Society President | An Interview with Julie Beck https://leadingsaints.org/how-i-lead-as-general-relief-society-president-an-interview-with-julie-beck/ Sun, 18 Nov 2018 09:00:22 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=45923 Interview transcript available below. Julie Bangerter Beck served as Relief Society General President from 2007-2012. She was born in Salt Lake City, Utah with nine siblings in Granger and Alpine, Utah, and in Sao Paulo, Brazil where her father served as mission president. She is a graduate of Dixie College (now Dixie State University) and Brigham Young University. Before her service as Relief Society General President, she served on the Young Women general board, as First Counselor in the Young Women General Presidency, and with her husband, Ramon, at the Missionary Training Center in Provo, Utah. Sister Beck is currently vice-chair of the Board of Trustees of Dixie State University. She also serves on the executive committee of the BYU Alumni Association. Her new book Joy in the Covenant shares deep-seated feelings and beliefs and draws heavily from her own experiences, the lives of her parents, and the lessons she learned from them. Highlights 5:40 Sister Beck's father and his service in the church 7:00 Sister Beck's parents' leadership examples 7:30 Advice from her parents as she served in leadership callings 8:30 Lessons from her father 9:10 The Lord builds his church through building people 9:40 Experience working with a general Young Women board member 13:20 Delegating in callings 15:00 Delegating as General Relief Society President 16:50 Her role as General Relief Society President- Agent of the Prophet 20:15 Relief Society President is an agent to the bishop and serves under his keys 22:35 Relief Society President's keys when set apart/Daughter's experience as Relief Society President 25:30 How to navigate the relationship between a Relief Society President and the Bishop 29:10 How to measure success in leadership/ Preach My Gospel pages 10-11 32:00 Sister Beck's experience being called as General Relief Society President with President Hinckley 34:00 President Hinckley's counsel and emphasis that presidents choose their own counselors 37:30 Counselors help the president be the best they can be 40:45 Best practices for a sister that sits on a ward council 44:00 What was her first day like as General Relief Society President 51:00 How being a General Relief Society President has made her a better follower of Jesus Christ Links Joy in the Covenant Interview Transcript [00:04:00] Kurt: Today, I’m in downtown Salt Lake City in a room with sister Julie Beck. How are you? Julie: I’m doing great. Thank you. Kurt: Good. Well, this is quite an opportunity. I’ve seen you on TV a lot but never in person, so this is a great opportunity. Julie: People look different in person. Kurt: Right? You’re a little more blonde than I think I remember you. Julie: It’s called being outside and sun-bleached hair. Kurt: Nice, okay. Good. You recently poured your heart and soul into a book project that you recently released called Joy in the Covenant. What was the impetus for this book project? Julie: The impetus was that I had been preparing messages for a number of events and things, and I wanted to share them with my family. But in today’s world, you can’t just send out an email, and I decided I needed to protect those messages, and they needed some refinement. I wanted them for my family and friends, people who have been asking me to share. So I thought, “We’ll see if we can collect these into something that would [00:05:00] be a book. And I am quite pleased with it, how it turned out. Kurt: I was able to read a good amount of it, and there are some engaging stories here, some that I never realized we’re part of your past like going to Brazil, and some of those things that obviously had an imprint on your life. Julie: Well, these are messages prepared after my release as General President. So they’re much more autobiographical or personal just because of the places I was able to share each message. They’re all standalone messages but they connect with themes running throughout, Interview transcript available below. - Julie Bangerter Beck served as Relief Society General President from 2007-2012. She was born in Salt Lake City, Utah with nine siblings in Granger and Alpine, Utah, and in Sao Paulo,
Julie Bangerter Beck served as Relief Society General President from 2007-2012. She was born in Salt Lake City, Utah with nine siblings in Granger and Alpine, Utah, and in Sao Paulo, Brazil where her father served as mission president. She is a graduate of Dixie College (now Dixie State University) and Brigham Young University. Before her service as Relief Society General President, she served on the Young Women general board, as First Counselor in the Young Women General Presidency, and with her husband, Ramon, at the Missionary Training Center in Provo, Utah. Sister Beck is currently vice-chair of the Board of Trustees of Dixie State University. She also serves on the executive committee of the BYU Alumni Association. Her new book Joy in the Covenant shares deep-seated feelings and beliefs and draws heavily from her own experiences, the lives of her parents, and the lessons she learned from them.
Highlights
5:40 Sister Beck's father and his service in the church
7:00 Sister Beck's parents' leadership examples
7:30 Advice from her parents as she served in leadership callings
8:30 Lessons from her father
9:10 The Lord builds his church through building people
9:40 Experience working with a general Young Women board member
13:20 Delegating in callings
15:00 Delegating as General Relief Society President
16:50 Her role as General Relief Society President- Agent of the Prophet
20:15 Relief Society President is an agent to the bishop and serves under his keys
22:35 Relief Society President's keys when set apart/Daughter's experience as Relief Society President
25:30 How to navigate the relationship between a Relief Society President and the Bishop
29:10 How to measure success in leadership/ Preach My Gospel pages 10-11
32:00 Sister Beck's experience being called as General Relief Society President with President Hinckley
34:00 President Hinckley's counsel and emphasis that presidents choose their own counselors
37:30 Counselors help the president be the best they can be
40:45 Best practices for a sister that sits on a ward council
44:00 What was her first day like as General Relief Society President
51:00 How being a General Relief Society President has made her a better follower of Jesus Christ
Links
Joy in the Covenant
Interview Transcript
[00:04:00]
Kurt: Today, I’m in downtown Salt Lake City in a room with sister Julie Beck. How are you?

Julie: I’m doing great. Thank you.

Kurt: Good. Well, this is quite an opportunity. I’ve seen you on TV a lot but never in person, so this is a great opportunity.

Julie: People look different in person.

Kurt: Right? You’re a little more blonde than I think I remember you.

Julie: It’s called being outside and sun-bleached hair.

Kurt: Nice, okay. Good. You recently poured your heart and soul into a book project that you recently released called Joy in the Covenant. What was the impetus for this book project?

Julie: The impetus was that I had been preparing messages for a number of events and things, and I wanted to share them with my family. But in today’s world, you can’t just send out an email, and I decided I needed to protect those messages, and they needed some refinement.
I wanted them for my family and friends, people who have been asking me to share. So I thought, “We’ll see if we can collect these into something that would [00:05:00] be a book. And I am quite pleased with it, how it turned out.

]]>
Leading Saints clean 56:14
Church Doctrine, Policy, & Leadership | An Interview with Prof. Anthony Sweat https://leadingsaints.org/wrestling-with-church-doctrine-an-interview-with-anthony-sweat/ Sun, 11 Nov 2018 08:00:45 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=45732 Anthony Sweat is an assistant professor of Church History and Doctrine at BYU, teaching approximately 1000 students each semester. Previously he taught seminary and institute for 13 years. With an early interest in art he obtained a BFA from BYU before pursuing religious education, earning an M.Ed and Ph.D in curriculum and instruction from Utah State University. His sustained interest and skill in art provides him an avenue of expression that he often blends into his teaching of religion, especially by painting church history scenes previously undepicted. He has authored books including a recent one regarding the temple endowment. His outside interests include basketball and triathlon. Dr. Sweat and his wife Cindy are the parents of seven children. Highlights 07:20 Discussion of what constitutes official Church doctrine? Doctrine of Christ; other doctrines. 10:23 Culture or doctrine? 13:00 Where do we find doctrine? Church handbooks, standard works, official correlated Church publications; Family Proclamation. Multiple witness concept versus “outliers.” Unanimous (by the Brethren) declarations. Cohesive, cumulative statements from Church leaders acting as the Lord’s agents. Reference to D&C 107:27. 19:00 Types of doctrines. 2011 official Church statement during the campaign season involving presidential candidate Mitt Romney. What about a single statement by a single leader on a single occasion—binding? Avoid pitting one general authority against another. Are some doctrines more important than others? Are core doctrines unchangeable? What are “supportive doctrines” according to the model (four rings) developed by Dr. Sweat and his colleagues? Can faithful members have differing views on supportive doctrines? Progressing in the next life? Discussion of policies or doctrines that are authoritative, timely and unique to a given time period. Are they “mere policies?” Can they be clarified/amplified? 30:13 Don’t try to get ahead of or undercut prophets/revelators. Scriptures authenticate that God honors His prophets. Example of tribes of Israel that were required to wait to receive the priesthood. Orthodox today but heterodox tomorrow. Brigham Young said Section 76 was a “great trial” to him, but he did not reject it and later understood. 33:42 Fourth ring: “Esoteric doctrine” is obscured or ambiguous. Role of Mother in Heaven? Is Jesus married? Is there kingdom progression in the next life? What’s on sealed portion of Book of Mormon? 34:33 Section 128:9 relates to receiving revelation and is “bold doctrine.” Prophets who hold sealing keys, acting truly and faithfully as the Lord’s agents, have the authority to record on earth and bind in heaven. The role of “agents.” 39:51 Dealing with ambiguity in a church classroom setting. Clarity can come through the “wrestle.” Inviting discussion without straying from doctrine. Teaching what is declared and known without shutting off sincere comments about things that are not. “Managing opinions.” Listening without agreeing. 49:30 Leaders need to be dialed into core doctrines and official policies. 50:25 There are clearly things that have not yet been revealed. Embrace ambiguity. Just as artists don’t always reveal precisely what they had in mind in their work of art, God seems to want us to grow by wrestling with some things where only hints are provided. He wants “seekers” who ask and knock. 53:35 Gratitude for Joseph’s role as a called, inspired, and revelatory prophet who nonetheless had mortal weaknesses. Each of us, though weak, can be instruments in the Lord’s hands. Links anthonysweat.com Instagram: brotheranthonysweat The Holy Invitation: Understanding Your Sacred Temple Endowment Doctrine: Models to Evaluate Types and Sources of Latter-day Saint Teachings Approaching Mormon Doctrine Anthony Sweat is an assistant professor of Church History and Doctrine at BYU, teaching approximately 1000 students each semester. Previously he taught seminary and institute for 13 years. With an early interest in art he obtained a BFA from BYU before...

Highlights
07:20 Discussion of what constitutes official Church doctrine? Doctrine of Christ; other doctrines.
10:23 Culture or doctrine?
13:00 Where do we find doctrine? Church handbooks, standard works, official correlated Church publications; Family Proclamation. Multiple witness concept versus “outliers.” Unanimous (by the Brethren) declarations. Cohesive, cumulative statements from Church leaders acting as the Lord’s agents. Reference to D&C 107:27.
19:00 Types of doctrines. 2011 official Church statement during the campaign season involving presidential candidate Mitt Romney. What about a single statement by a single leader on a single occasion—binding? Avoid pitting one general authority against another. Are some doctrines more important than others? Are core doctrines unchangeable? What are “supportive doctrines” according to the model (four rings) developed by Dr. Sweat and his colleagues? Can faithful members have differing views on supportive doctrines? Progressing in the next life? Discussion of policies or doctrines that are authoritative, timely and unique to a given time period. Are they “mere policies?” Can they be clarified/amplified?
30:13 Don’t try to get ahead of or undercut prophets/revelators. Scriptures authenticate that God honors His prophets. Example of tribes of Israel that were required to wait to receive the priesthood. Orthodox today but heterodox tomorrow. Brigham Young said Section 76 was a “great trial” to him, but he did not reject it and later understood.
33:42 Fourth ring: “Esoteric doctrine” is obscured or ambiguous. Role of Mother in Heaven? Is Jesus married? Is there kingdom progression in the next life? What’s on sealed portion of Book of Mormon?
34:33 Section 128:9 relates to receiving revelation and is “bold doctrine.” Prophets who hold sealing keys, acting truly and faithfully as the Lord’s agents, have the authority to record on earth and bind in heaven. The role of “agents.”
39:51 Dealing with ambiguity in a church classroom setting. Clarity can come through the “wrestle.” Inviting discussion without straying from doctrine. Teaching what is declared and known without shutting off sincere comments about things that are not. “Managing opinions.” Listening without agreeing.
49:30 Leaders need to be dialed into core doctrines and official policies.
50:25 There are clearly things that have not yet been revealed. Embrace ambiguity. Just as artists don’t always reveal precisely what they had in mind in their work of art, God seems to want us to grow by wrestling with some things where only hints are provided. He wants “seekers” who ask and knock.
53:35 Gratitude for Joseph’s role as a called, inspired, and revelatory prophet who nonetheless had mortal weaknesses. Each of us, though weak, can be instruments in the Lord’s hands.

Links
anthonysweat.com
Instagram: brotheranthonysweat
https://leadingsaints.org/?p=45838 What is Leading Saints? You can read more about Leading Saints on our ABOUT PAGE, but in short, Leading Saints is a non-profit (501c3) organization that is striving to help lay leaders be better prepared to lead. Simply put, we help leaders say, "I know what to do!" As many of you probably know, when you are called to lay leadership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints you are not given any official training as a leader. We hope the resources at Leading Saints will supplement your leadership development and help you bless the lives of other Latter-day Saint who you lead. What Topics Are Discussed on Leading Saints? You will find a variety of topics discussed through our podcast, online articles, and webinars. The best place to start is to use the website search function or to explore content related to the following callings: Bishopric Stake Leadership Relief Society Elders Quorum Primary Youth Leadership Ward Mission Teaching (Includes Teaching Helps) Leading Saints Podcast We post new podcasts once a week (sometimes more) in which Kurt Francom interviews an author, trainer, or lay leader (typically with a Latter-day Saint background). Our episodes are easy to listen to on the go — about 30-60 minutes — and are available on most major podcast providers: Stitcher, Apple Podcasts (iTunes), or any other player of your choice. Be sure to subscribe through your favorite podcasting app so that you don't miss any future episodes. If you need help with subscribing watch this video. We have over 250 episodes so we recommend starting with the most listened to episodes and going from there. Popular Podcast Series How I Lead These are podcast interviews where we sit down with every-day, prolific, leaders that serve in various lay leadership callings (bishops, EQP, YW President, mission president, etc.). We ask them basic questions about how they approach the challenges in their calling, and what you can learn is priceless. WIWIK (What I Wish I Knew) These are compilations of short clips where leaders share a short perspective about what they wish they knew before they were bishop, or Relief Society president, etc. We also answer questions about what they wish they knew before performing a wedding, or organizing a primary program. Leaders Teaching Leaders This is a series of posts that share what leaders of the Church have learned from other leaders of the Church. This might include stories from general conference, accounts of one leader attending a stake conference with another leader, or simply recollections one leader’s interaction with someone they respected. There are great leadership skills one can learn by pondering these interactions. Webinars Each week Leading Saints conducts additional interviews via Facebook Live where we dig into a specific training or topic that will further benefit the lay leadership audience. You can watch the latest interview on our homepage. To access the full library of past webinars you can become a Core Leader. See details below. Leadership Summits We are striving to create in-depth online summits and training modules that focus on specific leadership topics. Explore the summits below... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QKJpUAlgEs MORE DETAILS ABOUT MOTIVATING SAINTS MORE DETAILS ABOUT TEACHING SAINTS Products Visit the Leading Saints Store to see the awesome products available for purchase. All proceeds go towards the support of Leading Saints. Never Miss Leading Saints Content To make sure you never miss the valuable content created on Leading Saints be sure to do the following: Subscribe to the podcast (see above) Subscribe to the weekly Newsletter Follow us on Social Media Facebook Instagram Twitter Join the Leading Saints Community Become a Core Leader We want to reward our monthly/yearly donors with additional content because without their contributions we would not be able to conti... What is Leading Saints? You can read more about Leading Saints on our ABOUT PAGE, but in short, Leading Saints is a non-profit (501c3) organization that is striving to help lay leaders be better prepared to lead. Simply put, we help leaders say, You can read more about Leading Saints on our ABOUT PAGE, but in short, Leading Saints is a non-profit (501c3) organization that is striving to help lay leaders be better prepared to lead. Simply put, we help leaders say, "I know what to do!" As many of you probably know, when you are called to lay leadership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints you are not given any official training as a leader. We hope the resources at Leading Saints will supplement your leadership development and help you bless the lives of other Latter-day Saint who you lead.
What Topics Are Discussed on Leading Saints?
You will find a variety of topics discussed through our podcast, online articles, and webinars. The best place to start is to use the website search function or to explore content related to the following callings:

* Bishopric
* Stake Leadership
* Relief Society
* Elders Quorum
* Primary
* Youth Leadership
* Ward Mission
* Teaching (Includes Teaching Helps)

Leading Saints Podcast
We post new podcasts once a week (sometimes more) in which Kurt Francom interviews an author, trainer, or lay leader (typically with a Latter-day Saint background). Our episodes are easy to listen to on the go — about 30-60 minutes — and are available on most major podcast providers: Stitcher, Apple Podcasts (iTunes), or any other player of your choice. Be sure to subscribe through your favorite podcasting app so that you don't miss any future episodes. If you need help with subscribing watch this video. We have over 250 episodes so we recommend starting with the most listened to episodes and going from there.
Popular Podcast Series

* How I Lead These are podcast interviews where we sit down with every-day, prolific, leaders that serve in various lay leadership callings (bishops, EQP, YW President, mission president, etc.). We ask them basic questions about how they approach the challenges in their calling, and what you can learn is priceless.
* WIWIK (What I Wish I Knew) These are compilations of short clips where leaders share a short perspective about what they wish they knew before they were bishop, or Relief Society president, etc. We also answer questions about what they wish they knew before performing a wedding, or organizing a primary program.
* Leaders Teaching Leaders This is a series of posts...]]>
Leading Saints clean 16:33
How I Lead as a Servant-Leader Bishop | An Interview with Jason Mount https://leadingsaints.org/how-i-lead-as-a-servant-leader-bishop-an-interview-with-jason-mount/ Sun, 04 Nov 2018 07:00:27 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=45322 Jason Mount is a medical doctor practicing emergency medicine in Georgia, originally from California. He is near the end of his third year serving as a bishop, after previously serving as a counselor in the bishopric. Highlights 5:20 Calling as bishop 8:20 Making calls as the bishop: sometimes the Lord leaves the decision to him 10:50 Demographics of his ward 12:35 Principles of servant leadership he has applied as a bishop 13:50 Learned the principle of servant leadership that "whatever works for them, works for me" 15:50 Habits of being a servant leader as a bishop: makes a greater effort to be more accommodating with his schedule 16:50 Refers to his office as "The Bishop's Office" 18:00 Personal prayer before leaving home to serve as bishop: "What would you say? And I will say it" 19:30 General advice is not always the best advice: taking it case-by-case 21:30 Drawing boundaries and delegating: doesn't give out his cell number, food orders through Relief Society President, interviews 24:30 The Lord can use different types of leaders to do the same calling 27:25 Experience as a ward mission leader, learning to report back on his calling 32:30 The insight as a leader to see others as the Lord sees us is humbling and gives hope Jason Mount is a medical doctor practicing emergency medicine in Georgia, originally from California. He is near the end of his third year serving as a bishop, after previously serving as a counselor in the bishopric. Highlights Highlights
5:20 Calling as bishop
8:20 Making calls as the bishop: sometimes the Lord leaves the decision to him
10:50 Demographics of his ward
12:35 Principles of servant leadership he has applied as a bishop


* 13:50 Learned the principle of servant leadership that "whatever works for them, works for me"
* 15:50 Habits of being a servant leader as a bishop: makes a greater effort to be more accommodating with his schedule
* 16:50 Refers to his office as "The Bishop's Office"
* 18:00 Personal prayer before leaving home to serve as bishop: "What would you say? And I will say it"

19:30 General advice is not always the best advice: taking it case-by-case
21:30 Drawing boundaries and delegating: doesn't give out his cell number, food orders through Relief Society President, interviews
24:30 The Lord can use different types of leaders to do the same calling
27:25 Experience as a ward mission leader, learning to report back on his calling
32:30 The insight as a leader to see others as the Lord sees us is humbling and gives hope]]>
Leading Saints clean 34:51
Ministering Saints Global Leadership Conference – November 27 https://leadingsaints.org/ministering-saints-global-leadership-conference-november-27/ Fri, 02 Nov 2018 13:16:07 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=45679 You need to seriously look at your calendar on November 27, 2018. We are having an event calling Ministering Saints Global Leadership Conference in Salt Lake City, Utah in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. If you can be there in person we strongly encourage you to do so. (Seats are very limited) If you will not be in the Salt Lake City area on November 27, that's okay. We are going to live stream the event online for the world to see (but you still need to register). The conference is completely free and will change your leadership forever! To find out all the details and to register visit THE EVENT PAGE. You need to seriously look at your calendar on November 27, 2018. - We are having an event calling Ministering Saints Global Leadership Conference in Salt Lake City, Utah in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. -
We are having an event calling Ministering Saints Global Leadership Conference in Salt Lake City, Utah in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building.

If you can be there in person we strongly encourage you to do so. (Seats are very limited)

If you will not be in the Salt Lake City area on November 27, that's okay. We are going to live stream the event online for the world to see (but you still need to register).

The conference is completely free and will change your leadership forever!

To find out all the details and to register visit THE EVENT PAGE.]]>
Leading Saints clean 7:21
How I Lead as Relief Society President | An Interview with Rebecca Buxton Petho https://leadingsaints.org/how-i-lead-as-relief-society-president-an-interview-with-rebecca-buxton-petho/ Mon, 29 Oct 2018 03:36:12 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=45394 Rebecca Petho currently serves as a Relief Society President in her Philadelphia, PA ward. She has spent her career working with non-profit organizations as a fundraising expert and currently serves on the Board of Directors of Leading Saints. Sister Petho grew up in the Gettysburg, PA area in a home where hard work and the expectations to contribute and play a role in the home were emphasized. Those lessons have helped shape the type of leader she has been in her church service in Young Single Adult wards and traditional family wards from West Virginia to Salt Lake City to Philadelphia, where she now lives with her husband. In this episode, she talks about the lessons she learned while immersed in the Young Single Adult culture, the importance of being authentic when serving in leadership roles, and helping others to be authentic themselves. Highlights (11:45) How can individuals avoid getting trapped in culture and traditions? Try to avoid focusing on perceived external perceptions of ourselves (16:30) How has her identity as a Latter-Day Saint woman been shaped by her YSA experiences? Truly embrace the opportunities that are right in front of you Controlling what you can control and embracing it Faith that our lives will come together in a way we can’t even imagine Recommended reading: “Where There is No Vision” – Elder L. Tom Perry BYU Devotional address Identify the things that bring us true joy and finding ways to be involved in those things What did you learn from the YSA culture? So many who are willing to serve and support YSAs, but it becomes an extension of the YM/YW program Provide opportunities for YSAs in the ward to be the true leaders in the ward Help them feel more needed and empower them to be leaders in the ward (29:15) What lessons were learned serving as Relief Society President in YSA wards that have helped her serve in the same calling in a family ward? Examine our self-talk, fears, and past experiences in order to fully embrace the current opportunity to serve Every individual and every ward is different and we must keep an open mind in how we approach our current calling (38:10) What does it look like to be patient with others and allow them to be who they are in our leadership callings? Being authentic with people and knowing who we are ourselves Being willing to allow others to be authentic themselves (41:30) How does she approach leadership while adapting to the needs of the ward A groundwork of order and consistency After those principles are established, allowing for individuality and authenticity Approaching authenticity with humility (51:30) Where do we put our energy? (54:45) Sister Petho gives Kurt an assignment: How can the stewardship of the Relief Society President, Elders Quorum President, and Bishop work together more effectively? Links "Where There is No Vision", by Elder L. Tom Perry: text | video Rebecca Petho currently serves as a Relief Society President in her Philadelphia, PA ward. She has spent her career working with non-profit organizations as a fundraising expert and currently serves on the Board of Directors of Leading Saints. - the Board of Directors of Leading Saints.

Sister Petho grew up in the Gettysburg, PA area in a home where hard work and the expectations to contribute and play a role in the home were emphasized. Those lessons have helped shape the type of leader she has been in her church service in Young Single Adult wards and traditional family wards from West Virginia to Salt Lake City to Philadelphia, where she now lives with her husband. In this episode, she talks about the lessons she learned while immersed in the Young Single Adult culture, the importance of being authentic when serving in leadership roles, and helping others to be authentic themselves.
Highlights
(11:45) How can individuals avoid getting trapped in culture and traditions?


* Try to avoid focusing on perceived external perceptions of ourselves

(16:30) How has her identity as a Latter-Day Saint woman been shaped by her YSA experiences?


* Truly embrace the opportunities that are right in front of you
* Controlling what you can control and embracing it
* Faith that our lives will come together in a way we can’t even imagine
* Recommended reading: “Where There is No Vision” – Elder L. Tom Perry BYU Devotional address
* Identify the things that bring us true joy and finding ways to be involved in those things

What did you learn from the YSA culture?


* So many who are willing to serve and support YSAs, but it becomes an extension of the YM/YW program
* Provide opportunities for YSAs in the ward to be the true leaders in the ward
* Help them feel more needed and empower them to be leaders in the ward


(29:15) What lessons were learned serving as Relief Society President in YSA wards that have helped her serve in the same calling in a family ward?


* Examine our self-talk, fears, and past experiences in order to fully embrace the current opportunity to serve
* Every individual and every ward is different and we must keep an open mind in how we approach our current calling

(38:10) What does it look like to be patient with others and allow them to be who they are in our leadership callings?


* Being authentic with people and knowing who we are ourselves
* Being willing to allow others to be authentic themselves

(41:30) How does she approach leadership while adapting to the needs of the ward


* A groundwork of order and consistency
* After those principles are established, allowing for individuality and authenticity
* Approaching authenticity with humility

(51:30) Where do we put our energy?
(54:45) Sister Petho gives Kurt an assignment: How can the stewardship of the Relief Society President, Elders Quorum President, and Bishop work together more effectively?
Links
"Where There is No Vision", by Elder L. Tom Perry: textvideo]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:02:43
What Every Leader Should Consider About Community in Their Ward | An Interview with Ryan Gottfredson https://leadingsaints.org/latter-day-saint-community/ Fri, 19 Oct 2018 23:57:06 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=45325 Ryan Gottfredson is an assistant professor of Organizational Behavior at Cal State Fullerton where he researches and teaches leadership, and is a leadership consultant. He first became interested in organizational behavior during high school in a sports psychology class, and now holds a Ph.D. in Organizational Behavior and Human Resources from Indiana University and a BA from Brigham Young University. He has worked for Gallup and written multiple articles for Leading Saints, including a series of articles on community. Highlights 8:10 Where the community articles started 9:50 Many people attend church but they don’t feel they fit, or don't attend “What community is and why is it important?” How do we create a community in the church so everyone feels welcome? 14:00 There are three community types: basic, involved and united. It is a continuum. 14:45 Basic community: little attachment, little involvement, much like an alumni group, few demands and little connection 15:45 Involved community: share more, some emotional connection but still disconnected but not fully accepted, much like a large workplace 17:30 United community: Share interests, goals and beliefs. Strong identification with group much like a family: when they hurt, we hurt. Provides acceptance, love and protection. This is what it should be within the church. 20:20 A united community is ingrained deep in the LDS culture and doctrinally founded, but with some negative side effects Low cognitive diversity. Can't think outside a box, inability to allow different perspectives. This is not doctrinal thought, but community thought. 25:30 Lack of inclusivity. Difficult to allow others in, many feel judged, hard to accept others. Often is unintentional judging over what is/is not socially acceptable (tattoos, piercing). 29:00 Lower psychological safety: When something is different, or comments in class get questioned, others are less likely to share. People feel uncomfortable expressing their opinions. 33:40 "Sometimes we have a stronger desire to be right, than we do to love others." 36:20 How do we improve the united community in the Church? We must be "intentional". 37:20 Six elements of an intentional community Charity Safety Openness Inclusiveness Being present Having a clear purpose and common cause 38:30 Charity: we must see everyone as people, and value them as such. 41:00 Safety: do our members feel safe and able to to comment in class? 43:25 Openness: we have a social pressure to certainty. If value is on knowing, we are limiting learning. We don't know all and we can learn from others 45:50 Inclusiveness: everyone should feel welcome. Don't let little things get in the way of loving them. Care less about how they look and more about how they feel. 47:40 Be Present: we are as involved as we can be, regardless, while we are there in attendance we should be present. Make our meetings matter, provide a value. Intentionally create meetings worth coming to. 50:45 Having Purpose: is everyone heading in the same direction? 53:00 Cliques are not necessarily bad. Smaller groups may allow more connections with others. Perhaps smaller groups can strengthen the whole community. 56:40 Most important to understand what community is and why it is important. Be mindful. Links https://www.ryangottfredson.com/ Articles about community in the Church: The Foundation of Belonging Flaws We Need to Recognize and Overcome Becoming an Intentional Community Moving Forward in a Changing Social Landscape The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict, by The Arbinger Institute Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting out of the Box, by The Arbinger Institute Ryan Gottfredson is an assistant professor of Organizational Behavior at Cal State Fullerton where he researches and teaches leadership, and is a leadership consultant. He first became interested in organizational behavior during high school in a sport... multiple articles for Leading Saints, including a series of articles on community.
Highlights
8:10 Where the community articles started
9:50 Many people attend church but they don’t feel they fit, or don't attend


* “What community is and why is it important?”
* How do we create a community in the church so everyone feels welcome?

14:00 There are three community types: basic, involved and united. It is a continuum.


* 14:45 Basic community: little attachment, little involvement, much like an alumni group, few demands and little connection
* 15:45 Involved community: share more, some emotional connection but still disconnected but not fully accepted, much like a large workplace
* 17:30 United community: Share interests, goals and beliefs. Strong identification with group much like a family: when they hurt, we hurt. Provides acceptance, love and protection. This is what it should be within the church.

20:20 A united community is ingrained deep in the LDS culture and doctrinally founded, but with some negative side effects


* Low cognitive diversity. Can't think outside a box, inability to allow different perspectives. This is not doctrinal thought, but community thought.
* 25:30 Lack of inclusivity. Difficult to allow others in, many feel judged, hard to accept others. Often is unintentional judging over what is/is not socially acceptable (tattoos, piercing).
* 29:00 Lower psychological safety: When something is different, or comments in class get questioned, others are less likely to share. People feel uncomfortable expressing their opinions.
* 33:40 "Sometimes we have a stronger desire to be right, than we do to love others."

36:20 How do we improve the united community in the Church? We must be "intentional".
37:20 Six elements of an intentional community


* Charity
* Safety
* Openness
* Inclusiveness
* Being present
* Having a clear purpose and common cause

38:30 Charity: we must see everyone as people, and value them as such.

41:00 Safety: do our members feel safe and able to to comment in class?

43:25 Openness: we have a social pressure to certainty. If value is on knowing, we are limiting learning. We don't know all and we can learn from others

45:50 Inclusiveness: everyone should feel welcome. Don't let little things get in the way of loving them. Care less about how they look and more about how they feel.

47:40 Be Present: we are as involved as we can be, regardless, while we are there in attendance we should be present. Make our meetings matter, provide a value. Intentionally create meetings worth coming to.

50:45 Having Purpose: is everyone heading in the same direction?

53:00 Cliques are not necessarily bad. Smaller groups may allow more connections with others. Perhaps smaller groups can strengthen the whole community.

56:40 Most important to understand what community is and why it is important. Be mindful.
Links
https://ww...]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:00:39
What Every Leader Needs to Know About Faith Crisis | An Interview with Scott Braithwaite https://leadingsaints.org/what-every-leader-needs-to-know-about-faith-crisis-an-interview-with-scott-braithwaite/ Sun, 14 Oct 2018 07:00:26 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=44713 Scott Braithwaite has a PhD in Clinical Psychology and specializes in marriage counseling. He is an associate professor at Brigham Young University and a popular presenter at BYU Education Week, where he most recently taught about supporting loved ones through a faith crisis. He is currently serving as bishop of his ward. Highlights 10:10 The difference between sadness and depression 13:40 Leaders should ask for recommendations for good qualified counselors 14:15 You choose who to marry. God gives you agency. 17:40 Scott shares his experience going through a faith crisis 22:40 James Fowler’s Stages of Faith can be helpful in understanding what someone may be going through. Stage three faith identifies as a group, has rules, and is concrete. Most fall under this level of faith. Things also appear black and white. 29:00 During a faith crisis the bottom falls out, they can leave the faith and find community elsewhere. 30:35 Going through the stages of faith are not linear 33:00 Perfectionism shows up in our minds as rules, as all or nothing. 33:40 Doctrinal Latter-day Saints vs. Cultural Latter-day Saints 34:50 Sometimes struggling with faith comes from cultural issues 36:50 The idea of organic evolution showcases the different thought processes of doctrinal vs. cultural Latter-day Saints 38:10 You can’t go back to stage 3 40:30 Stage 5 is accepting the complexity of faith 40:50 Faith allows room for doubt 42:00 All faith allows room for wrestling 43:00 Stage 6 examples, such as Mother Teresa. Most people fall between stages 3, 4, and 5. 46:40 We can act as a midwife and help while people are in a faith crisis 48:30 Help others going through a faith crisis by listening to them. Listen more than talk. 50:50 Elder Ballard: Leaders ought to know and be able to address the difficult questions 56:00 There is a progression from stage 3 to stage 4 57:00 We should be able to talk about doubt at church 59:45 Help create a culture of faith 1:02:00 Elder Hafen's stages of faith Links "Like a Broken Vessel", by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland Mormon Enigma: Emma Hale Smith, by Linda King Newell Stages of Faith, by James Fowler Planted, by Patrick Mason On Dealing with Uncertainty, by Bruce C. Hafen Scott Braithwaite BYU Bio Scott Braithwaite has a PhD in Clinical Psychology and specializes in marriage counseling. He is an associate professor at Brigham Young University and a popular presenter at BYU Education Week, where he most recently taught about supporting loved ones...
Highlights
10:10 The difference between sadness and depression
13:40 Leaders should ask for recommendations for good qualified counselors
14:15 You choose who to marry. God gives you agency.
17:40 Scott shares his experience going through a faith crisis
22:40 James Fowler’s Stages of Faith can be helpful in understanding what someone may be going through. Stage three faith identifies as a group, has rules, and is concrete. Most fall under this level of faith. Things also appear black and white.
29:00 During a faith crisis the bottom falls out, they can leave the faith and find community elsewhere.
30:35 Going through the stages of faith are not linear
33:00 Perfectionism shows up in our minds as rules, as all or nothing.
33:40 Doctrinal Latter-day Saints vs. Cultural Latter-day Saints
34:50 Sometimes struggling with faith comes from cultural issues
36:50 The idea of organic evolution showcases the different thought processes of doctrinal vs. cultural Latter-day Saints
38:10 You can’t go back to stage 3
40:30 Stage 5 is accepting the complexity of faith
40:50 Faith allows room for doubt
42:00 All faith allows room for wrestling
43:00 Stage 6 examples, such as Mother Teresa. Most people fall between stages 3, 4, and 5.
46:40 We can act as a midwife and help while people are in a faith crisis
48:30 Help others going through a faith crisis by listening to them. Listen more than talk.
50:50 Elder Ballard: Leaders ought to know and be able to address the difficult questions
56:00 There is a progression from stage 3 to stage 4
57:00 We should be able to talk about doubt at church
59:45 Help create a culture of faith
1:02:00 Elder Hafen's stages of faith
Links

*
"Like a Broken Vessel", by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
* Mormon Enigma: Emma Hale Smith, by Linda King Newell
* Stages of Faith, by James Fowler
* Planted, by Patrick Mason
* On Dealing with Uncertainty, by Bruce C. Hafen
Scott Braithwaite BYU Bio
]]> Leading Saints clean 1:07:30 Wild at Heart in Church Leadership | An Interview with Doug Nielsen https://leadingsaints.org/wild-at-heart-in-church-leadership-an-interview-with-doug-nielsen/ Wed, 10 Oct 2018 18:32:59 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=44986 Doug Nielsen is a psychotherapist, executive coach, and motivational speaker who decided from an early age to become a psychotherapist and speak to and teach others. In his practice, he works mostly with individuals battling depression, anxiety, addictions, and marital problems. In his coaching and speaking work, he works with small business owners all the way up to very high-earning professionals. He works with individuals as well as speaking to groups of 1000 or more individuals. He is also a published author of a book called “Take Life By the Helm” and has another one in the process of being written. He has served in multiple bishoprics and is currently on a high council. In this podcast episode, we discuss the book Wild at Heart by John Eldredge. The target audience of this book is mostly men, although women will benefit greatly by understanding better where a Christian man is coming from. Doug will be hosting a retreat in Liberty, Utah, November 8th-10th, 2018. For details on this retreat, please visit https://www.awarriorheart.com/ Highlights 17:30 – Introduction of some principles from the book “Wild at Heart”. A typical male heart naturally seeks: A battle to fight An adventure to live A beauty to rescue 18:30 – Discussing the principle of the male heart’s desire for a battle to fight and some discussion on helping self and an elders quorum to recalibrate after an encounter with a numb heart. 37:45 – Three questions to ask God and ways to incorporate these principles and promote vulnerability and realness into your elders quorum. How do you see me, Father? Do you like me? What are you up to in my life? What are you trying to teach me, Father? How can I glorify you? How can I bring praise to you? 39:50 – Discussing the principle of the male heart’s desire for an adventure to live. 41:20 – Discussing the principle of the male heart’s desire for a beauty to rescue. Some ways to approach talking to the women in our lives and helping them and engaging with them in meaningful ways. Discussion of slaying the natural man dragon within ourselves. How to define our mission in our relationships. 48:00 – Discussion on applying these principles in a ward or quorum. 50:00 – Discussion of the retreat and information on how to participate in this or a future retreat. Links DougSpeaks.com Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret to a Man's Soul Take Life by the Helm! Proven Strategies for Gaining Control A Warrior Heart Retreat - Sign Up   Doug Nielsen is a psychotherapist, executive coach, and motivational speaker who decided from an early age to become a psychotherapist and speak to and teach others. In his practice, he works mostly with individuals battling depression, anxiety, Take Life By the Helm” and has another one in the process of being written. He has served in multiple bishoprics and is currently on a high council.

In this podcast episode, we discuss the book Wild at Heart by John Eldredge. The target audience of this book is mostly men, although women will benefit greatly by understanding better where a Christian man is coming from.

Doug will be hosting a retreat in Liberty, Utah, November 8th-10th, 2018. For details on this retreat, please visit https://www.awarriorheart.com/

Highlights
17:30 – Introduction of some principles from the book “Wild at Heart”. A typical male heart naturally seeks:


* A battle to fight
* An adventure to live
* A beauty to rescue

18:30 – Discussing the principle of the male heart’s desire for a battle to fight and some discussion on helping self and an elders quorum to recalibrate after an encounter with a numb heart.
37:45 – Three questions to ask God and ways to incorporate these principles and promote vulnerability and realness into your elders quorum.


* How do you see me, Father? Do you like me?
* What are you up to in my life? What are you trying to teach me, Father?
* How can I glorify you? How can I bring praise to you?

39:50 – Discussing the principle of the male heart’s desire for an adventure to live.
41:20 – Discussing the principle of the male heart’s desire for a beauty to rescue. Some ways to approach talking to the women in our lives and helping them and engaging with them in meaningful ways. Discussion of slaying the natural man dragon within ourselves. How to define our mission in our relationships.
48:00 – Discussion on applying these principles in a ward or quorum.
50:00 – Discussion of the retreat and information on how to participate in this or a future retreat.
Links

* DougSpeaks.com
* Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret to a Man's Soul
* Take Life by the Helm! Proven Strategies for Gaining Control
* A Warrior Heart Retreat - Sign Up

 ]]>
Leading Saints clean 59:31
What I Wish I Knew Before Tithing Settlement https://leadingsaints.org/wiwik-tithing-settlement/ Mon, 08 Oct 2018 17:00:52 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=45081 Tithing settlement is, no doubt, a busy time of year for not only the bishop but for the bishopric. Thousands of wards and branches around the world will all make it happen starting October 15 and so it would be helpful to share notes and find the best approach to tithing settlement. In this episode, bishops or bishopric members share how their ward approaches tithing settlement. They each share some great ideas that can improve you efficiency to tithing settlement this year. We will build on this episode and add additional tithing settlement ideas. If you would like to share your approach in order to help other wards better execute tithing settlement, please contact us and we will give you further details. Links: How I Lead: Brandon Leavitt How I Lead: Mark Sieverkropp How I Lead: Nathan Waldron How I Lead: Marco Ferrini How I Lead: Aaron Chesley Tithing Settlement Tear Off Schedule Tithing Settlement in 2 Days Quotes about Tithing A Prerequisite to Higher Ordinances Tithing is one of the many standards that allows us to rreceive saving ordinances. Brigham Young wrote in an epistle of the Quorum of the Twelve: “Enter steadily and regularly upon a strict observance of the law of tithing … then come up to the House of the Lord, and be taught in his ways, and walk in his paths.” (History of the Church, 7:282.) Elder Taylor then taught: “It is our duty to pay our tithing, one-tenth of all we possess, and then one-tenth of our increase, and a man who has not paid his tithing is unfit to be baptized for his dead. … It is our duty to pay our tithing. If a man has not faith enough to attend to these little things, he has not faith enough to save himself and his friends.” (History of the Church, 7:292–93; italics added.) The Lord's Revenue System Tithing is the Lord’s revenue system, and He requires it of the people, not because He is lacking in gold or silver, but because [we] need to pay it. … "The prime … purpose behind the establishment of the law of the tithe is the development of the soul of the tithe-payer, rather than the providing of revenue. The latter is an all-important purpose, for so far as money is needed for the carrying on of the work of the Church the Lord requires money that is sanctified by the faith of the giver; but blessings beyond estimate … are assured unto him who strictly conforms to the law of the tithe because the Lord hath so commanded.” (James E. Talmage, The Articles of Faith, Salt Lake City: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 1924, pp. 528–29) A Test of Faith “I think when people say they haven’t money enough to pay tithing, they should say they haven’t faith enough to pay tithing. It is my conviction that we pay tithing with faith and not with money, because when a man has so much money that he has a large tithing, he can’t pay tithing. He has too much money and too little faith to pay tithing, and just feels he can’t afford it.” (Improvement Era, June 1953, pp. 435–36.) George Q Cannon How Much Tithing to Pay? The law of tithing was given to the whole Church. The First Presidency has written what the law of tithing is for us today: “The simplest statement we know of is the statement of the Lord himself, namely, that the members of the Church should pay ‘one tenth of all their interest annually,’ which is understood to mean income. No one is justified in making any other statement than this.” (First Presidency letter, 19 March 1970.) Disposition of Tithing Section 120 of the Doctrine and Covenants [D&C 120] was given the same day as the revelation on the law of tithing to the entire Church. In it the Lord clearly states that tithing should be “disposed of by a council, composed of the First Presidency of my Church, and of the bishop and his council [the Presiding Bishopric], and by my high council [the Quorum of the Twelve]; and by mine own voice unto them.” The Lord directs the First Presidency, the Quorum of the Twelve, Tithing settlement is, no doubt, a busy time of year for not only the bishop but for the bishopric. Thousands of wards and branches around the world will all make it happen starting October 15 and so it would be helpful to share notes and find the best...
In this episode, bishops or bishopric members share how their ward approaches tithing settlement. They each share some great ideas that can improve you efficiency to tithing settlement this year.

We will build on this episode and add additional tithing settlement ideas. If you would like to share your approach in order to help other wards better execute tithing settlement, please contact us and we will give you further details.
Links:

* How I Lead: Brandon Leavitt
* How I Lead: Mark Sieverkropp
* How I Lead: Nathan Waldron
* How I Lead: Marco Ferrini
* How I Lead: Aaron Chesley
* Tithing Settlement Tear Off Schedule
* Tithing Settlement in 2 Days

Quotes about Tithing
A Prerequisite to Higher Ordinances
Tithing is one of the many standards that allows us to rreceive saving ordinances.

Brigham Young wrote in an epistle of the Quorum of the Twelve: “Enter steadily and regularly upon a strict observance of the law of tithing … then come up to the House of the Lord, and be taught in his ways, and walk in his paths.” (History of the Church, 7:282.)

Elder Taylor then taught: “It is our duty to pay our tithing, one-tenth of all we possess, and then one-tenth of our increase, and a man who has not paid his tithing is unfit to be baptized for his dead. … It is our duty to pay our tithing. If a man has not faith enough to attend to these little things, he has not faith enough to save himself and his friends.” (History of the Church, 7:292–93; italics added.)
The Lord's Revenue System
Tithing is the Lord’s revenue system, and He requires it of the people, not because He is lacking in gold or silver, but because [we] need to pay it. …

"The prime … purpose behind the establishment of the law of the tithe is the development of the soul of the tithe-payer, rather than the providing of revenue. The latter is an all-important purpose, for so far as money is needed for the carrying on of the work of the Church the Lord requires money that is sanctified by the faith of the giver; but blessings beyond estimate … are assured unto him who strictly conforms to the law of the tithe because the Lord hath so commanded.” (James E. Talmage, The Articles of Faith, Salt Lake City: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 1924, pp. 528–29)
A Test of Faith
“I think when people say they haven’t money enough to pay tithing, they should say they haven’t faith enough to pay tithing. It is my conviction that we pay tithing with faith and not with money, because when a man has so much money that he has a large tithing, he can’t pay tithing. He has too much money and too little faith to pay tithing,]]>
Leading Saints clean 35:45
How I Lead as Young Men President | An Interview with Aaron Chesley https://leadingsaints.org/how-i-lead-as-young-men-president-an-interview-with-aaron-chesley/ Sun, 30 Sep 2018 08:00:06 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=44830 Aaron Chesley lives in Boise, Idaho, and says he wouldn’t be the same person without Leading Saints. He currently serves as a bishop, but has racked up most of his church leadership experience while serving as a young men president, serving twice for a total of four years. He’s also been a scoutmaster three times and has served in his stake young men presidency. He has military experience in the Army reserves, served as a missionary, and has been married for 21 years. Highlights How Can Bishops Help Young Men and Young Women Prepare for Military Service? Aaron served in the military and suggests that bishops teach young men and women to go in to the military with “eyes wide open”. Bishops should help youth be aware that they can make a choice to fold in to military culture and give up your standards, or they can choose to stand out. The military is a difficult environment for keeping gospel standards, but it’s fantastic for learning and leadership. Ensure that youth understand that temptations will abound. Expect to, like Aaron, be the designated walker or driver, and be ready to accept the challenge of keeping standards. Including Bishop’s Wife Appropriately in Service Based on his experience as a bishop, Aaron recommends that a bishop use their wife as a third counselor. He says his wife’s insights are valuable and different than his. Kurt and Aaron agree that bishops can appropriately include wives in the blessings the bishop is seeing through his service by communicating with her about non-confidential experiences. Advice for Young Men Leaders The first time he was called to serve as young men president, Aaron was a young leader. He felt out of place and that he didn’t know what he was doing. He asked many questions, but felt overwhelmed because he had so little training. After a ward split, Aaron was called again to serve as young men president. By the time he served again, he had much more experience serving in the young men and scouting organizations. He felt he was more ready and had ideas about organizing the young men president. Five Leadership Principles for Young Men Presidents (16:00) 1. One half of one percent Aaron believes the spirit is the most important factor in Priesthood third hour. After a particularly discouraging lesson where he ended class early and sent young men to their parents, he had to decide whether he’d quit or try to stick it out as a young men’s leader. After some calculating, he learned that he’d spent just one half of one percent of a young man’s time in the third hour of church. What could he share with these young men that would be meaningful to them? He determined the spirit was the most important thing to invite into every classroom and implemented that the following week. During this segment Aaron explains how he sought to make third hour a spiritual experience. (22:00) 2. Train leaders Aaron mentions how he didn’t know what other people’s responsibilities were, so he took on everyone’s responsibility themselves. During later service he received a specialized training with each member of the presidency using the handbook, and explained what was expected of them in their position. During this segment, he describes how he implemented what he learned about training effectively during his later tenure as young men president, including ensuring spouses understand what the time commitment will be. (28:00) 3. Never use a planning night as an activity Aaron believes that planning night discourages young men from coming, and planning is meant for presidency meeting. He also describes how to teach young men to use the military-style After Action Report (AAR) to learn from mistakes and avoid them in the future. (34:00) 4. Communication Aaron believes communication between leaders and youth, leaders and other leaders, and between leaders and parents is essential. Technology has made it easy for us to communicate with each other. Aaron Chesley lives in Boise, Idaho, and says he wouldn’t be the same person without Leading Saints. He currently serves as a bishop, but has racked up most of his church leadership experience while serving as a young men president, Highlights
How Can Bishops Help Young Men and Young Women Prepare for Military Service?

* Aaron served in the military and suggests that bishops teach young men and women to go in to the military with “eyes wide open”. Bishops should help youth be aware that they can make a choice to fold in to military culture and give up your standards, or they can choose to stand out. The military is a difficult environment for keeping gospel standards, but it’s fantastic for learning and leadership.
* Ensure that youth understand that temptations will abound. Expect to, like Aaron, be the designated walker or driver, and be ready to accept the challenge of keeping standards.

Including Bishop’s Wife Appropriately in Service
Based on his experience as a bishop, Aaron recommends that a bishop use their wife as a third counselor. He says his wife’s insights are valuable and different than his. Kurt and Aaron agree that bishops can appropriately include wives in the blessings the bishop is seeing through his service by communicating with her about non-confidential experiences.
Advice for Young Men Leaders

* The first time he was called to serve as young men president, Aaron was a young leader. He felt out of place and that he didn’t know what he was doing. He asked many questions, but felt overwhelmed because he had so little training.
* After a ward split, Aaron was called again to serve as young men president. By the time he served again, he had much more experience serving in the young men and scouting organizations. He felt he was more ready and had ideas about organizing the young men president.

Five Leadership Principles for Young Men Presidents
(16:00) 1. One half of one percent
Aaron believes the spirit is the most important factor in Priesthood third hour. After a particularly discouraging lesson where he ended class early and sent young men to their parents, he had to decide whether he’d quit or try to stick it out as a young men’s leader. After some calculating, he learned that he’d spent just one half of one percent of a young man’s time in the third hour of church. What could he share with these young men that would be meaningful to them? He determined the spirit was the most important thing to invite into every classroom and implemented that the following week. During this segment Aaron explains how he sought to make third hour a spiritual experience.
(22:00) 2. Train leaders
Aaron mentions how he didn’t know what other people’s responsibilities were, so he took on everyone’s responsibility themselves. During later service he received a specialized training with each member of the presidency using the handbook, and explained what was expected of them in their position. During this segment, he describes how he implemented what he learned about training effectively during his later tenure as young men president, including ensuring spouses understand what the time commitment will be.
(28:00) 3. Never use a planning night as an activity
Aaron believes that planning night discourages young men from coming, and planning is meant for presidency meeting. He also describes how to teach young men to use the military-style After Action Report (AAR) to learn from mistakes and avoid them in the future.
(34:00) 4. Communication
Aaron believes communication between leaders and youth,]]>
Leading Saints clean 48:12
Understanding Priesthood Keys in Leadership | An Interview with Mark Mathews https://leadingsaints.org/understanding-priesthood-keys-in-leadership/ Sun, 23 Sep 2018 07:00:55 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=44542 Mark Mathews was born in Houston, TX. He served a mission in Guatemala and met his wife at Brigham Young University. He later earned a Ph.D. in education from Utah State University. He has been involved with Seminary and Institute for 14 years and has spent his last 1.5 years at Brigham Young University. Highlights Temples 5:27: Will include the word “temple” in his class titles moving forward. 6:14: There are many things that happen in the temple that can and should be discussed. 7:24: To understand the temple, the best source is the Doctrine and Covenants as the Lord reveals and restores knowledge regarding the purpose and power of temples. Priesthood Keys (8:42) 9:21: Understanding priesthood keys 9:36: What is the priesthood, and what are priesthood keys? 10:37: Keys give the right to be the president, to direct, control, and preside over the priesthood and the work of the priesthood in the church within a jurisdiction 11:20: Different keys were gradually restored over time and as needed. Aaronic Priesthood keys, John the Baptist: authority to baptize Melchizedek Priesthood keys; “The Keys of the Kingdom”; Peter, James, and John: authority to preside over, organize, and lead the church Keys of the Gathering of Israel, Moses: “gathering” begins with missionary work, and culminates in gathering disciples to the temple Keys of Abraham’s Dispensation, Elias (27:25): celestial marriage Sealing Power, Elijah 14:47: Quorum presidents 17:24: Before being taught anything regarding priesthood keys, Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery are taught in Doctrine and Covenants 18, “remember, the worth of souls is great in the sight of God” and the importance of bringing those souls unto Christ. Each quorum president, adult, and youth, must understand the worth of the soul, and the charge to help bring those souls unto Christ. 22:36: Keys helps members know whom to follow. When members hear contradictory messages, follow the keys. 24:00: While we have many general authorities, we have only fifteen individuals who hold all of the keys, and we sustain them as “prophets, seers, and revelators”. 25:11: Delegation. Seventies do not hold keys but are acting using keys delegated to them by key holders. The same principle applies to counselors to keyholders. Sealing Power 26:22: Seals all ordinances performed for both the living and the dead. 32:43: The importance of proper record keeping: Joseph Smith taught that as ordinances are recorded on earth, they are recorded in Heaven. “All things are spiritual.” 34:28: On sealing cancellations. “When you are sealed in celestial marriage, you aren’t just sealed to your partner. . . you are being sealed up to Eternal Life. . . When a marriage is dissolved, you don’t want to cancel that sealing until they are ready to renew it again with someone else. Even if they don’t want to be with their partner, they still have been sealed up to certain blessings that they don’t want to loose/unseal.” (not ‘lose’--important distinction). God is perfectly just and perfectly merciful. He will not force somebody to spend eternity with somebody against their will. 39:22: What happens to the sealing of the children of divorced parents? All your losses will be restored to you; see Doctrine and Covenants 130:2. 45:54: We should seek to better understand the doctrines behind sealing and God’s love The New and Everlasting Covenant 46:28: The sum of all ordinances and covenants, not simply eternal marriage. 49:17: This is the same covenant that was given to Abraham. It is the fulness of the gospel. It helps us understand what the Restoration is. It is the Plan of Salvation. 54:15: These ordinances are connecting to become exalted and become like our Heavenly Parents. How has being a leader made you a better follower of Jesus Christ? 55:31: Appreciate those who are willing to follow, Mark Mathews was born in Houston, TX. He served a mission in Guatemala and met his wife at Brigham Young University. He later earned a Ph.D. in education from Utah State University. He has been involved with Seminary and Institute for 14 years and has ...
Mark Mathews was born in Houston, TX. He served a mission in Guatemala and met his wife at Brigham Young University. He later earned a Ph.D. in education from Utah State University. He has been involved with Seminary and Institute for 14 years and has spent his last 1.5 years at Brigham Young University.
Highlights
Temples

* 5:27: Will include the word “temple” in his class titles moving forward.
* 6:14: There are many things that happen in the temple that can and should be discussed.
* 7:24: To understand the temple, the best source is the Doctrine and Covenants as the Lord reveals and restores knowledge regarding the purpose and power of temples.

Priesthood Keys (8:42)

* 9:21: Understanding priesthood keys
* 9:36: What is the priesthood, and what are priesthood keys?
* 10:37: Keys give the right to be the president, to direct, control, and preside over the priesthood and the work of the priesthood in the church within a jurisdiction
* 11:20: Different keys were gradually restored over time and as needed.

* Aaronic Priesthood keys, John the Baptist: authority to baptize
* Melchizedek Priesthood keys; “The Keys of the Kingdom”; Peter, James, and John: authority to preside over, organize, and lead the church
* Keys of the Gathering of Israel, Moses: “gathering” begins with missionary work, and culminates in gathering disciples to the temple
* Keys of Abraham’s Dispensation, Elias (27:25): celestial marriage
* Sealing Power, Elijah
* 14:47: Quorum presidents

* 17:24: Before being taught anything regarding priesthood keys, Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery are taught in Doctrine and Covenants 18, “remember, the worth of souls is great in the sight of God” and the importance of bringing those souls unto Christ. Each quorum president, adult, and youth, must understand the worth of the soul, and the charge to help bring those souls unto Christ.


* 22:36: Keys helps members know whom to follow. When members hear contradictory messages, follow the keys.
* 24:00: While we have many general authorities, we have only fifteen individuals who hold all of the keys, and we sustain them as “prophets, seers, and revelators”.
* 25:11: Delegation. Seventies do not hold keys but are acting using keys delegated to them by key holders. The same principle applies to counselors to keyholders.



Sealing Power

* 26:22: Seals all ordinances performed for both the living and the dead.
* 32:43: The importance of proper record keeping: Joseph Smith taught that as ordinances are recorded on earth, they are recorded in Heaven. “All things are spiritual.”
* 34:28: On sealing cancellations. “When you are sealed in celestial marriage, you aren’t just sealed to your partner. . . you are being sealed up to Eternal Life. . . When a marriage is dissolved, you don’t want to cancel that sealing until they are ready to renew it again with someone else. Even if they don’t want to be with their partner, they still have been sealed up to certain blessings that they don’t want to loose/unseal.” (not ‘lose’--important distinction). God is perfectly just and perfectly merciful. He will not force somebody to spend eternity with somebody against their will.
* 39:22: What happens to the sealing of the children of divorced parents? All your losses will be restored to you; see Doctrine and Covenants 130:2.
* 45:54: We should seek to better understand the doctrines behind sealing and God’s love

The New and Everlasting Covenant

* 46:28: The sum of all ordinances and covenants, not simply eternal marriage.
* 49:17: This is the same covenant that was given to Abraham. It is the fulness of the gospel.]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:06:40
Launching a Rising Generation of Leaders | An Interview with Steven Hitz and Michael Leonard https://leadingsaints.org/launching-a-rising-generation-of-leaders/ Sun, 16 Sep 2018 16:56:12 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=44534 Steve Hitz has founded and led companies, and served with his wife, Ginger, as a young single adults bishop. He is a founding member of Launching Leaders Worldwide Inc. Michael Leonard is the Executive Director of Launching Leaders and has worked in higher education and Church public affairs. Launching Leaders is a faith-based nonprofit leadership program for young adults. It started as a course at BYU Hawaii and later became a book and online course. Highlights 9:00 Come alongside: learning together instead of learning in a hierarchical manner 12:00 Their mission is to empower young adult leaders, offering the course worldwide to groups of many faiths 13:30 Discussion in a group setting without hierarchy empowers young adults in applied learning, bringing enlightenment 17:00 How the course operates with interfaith groups Speaking the language of young adults reaches them where they might otherwise be losing their faith Religious Freedom and Business Foundation Using the course in YSA wards and church schools 26:00 YSA bishoprics Allow space for faith with young adults Cycle of spiritual guidance 30:00 Compartmentalization and congruency: bringing the parts together and embracing your whole self 34:30 Example of reaching congruency 38:00 The formula: Get up early, work hard, get your education, make your mark, give back 42:00 Developing daily mindfulness 44:00 Giving back every day instead of waiting to do it as older adults 47:00 Mentorships Finding and adopting their own mentors Be bold to create a relationship New models of mentoring The Mosiah principle: Every gift comes from God 56:00 Advice for YSA bishops 58:10 How to get started using Launching Leaders or contributing to the organization Links Website: www.llworldwide.org Book: Launching Leaders: An Empowering Journey for a New Generation   Steve Hitz has founded and led companies, and served with his wife, Ginger, as a young single adults bishop. He is a founding member of Launching Leaders Worldwide Inc. Michael Leonard is the Executive Director of Launching Leaders and has worked in hi... Highlights
9:00 Come alongside: learning together instead of learning in a hierarchical manner

12:00 Their mission is to empower young adult leaders, offering the course worldwide to groups of many faiths

13:30 Discussion in a group setting without hierarchy empowers young adults in applied learning, bringing enlightenment
17:00 How the course operates with interfaith groups


* Speaking the language of young adults reaches them where they might otherwise be losing their faith
* Religious Freedom and Business Foundation
* Using the course in YSA wards and church schools

26:00 YSA bishoprics


* Allow space for faith with young adults
* Cycle of spiritual guidance

30:00 Compartmentalization and congruency: bringing the parts together and embracing your whole self

34:30 Example of reaching congruency
38:00 The formula: Get up early, work hard, get your education, make your mark, give back


* 42:00 Developing daily mindfulness
* 44:00 Giving back every day instead of waiting to do it as older adults

47:00 Mentorships


* Finding and adopting their own mentors
* Be bold to create a relationship
* New models of mentoring
* The Mosiah principle: Every gift comes from God

56:00 Advice for YSA bishops

58:10 How to get started using Launching Leaders or contributing to the organization
Links
Website: www.llworldwide.org
Book: Launching Leaders: An Empowering Journey for a New Generation





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Leading Saints clean 1:02:00
Creating The Best Darn Ward Possible | An Interview with Mark Matheson https://leadingsaints.org/creating-the-best-darn-ward-that-is-possible-an-interview-with-mark-matheson/ Sun, 09 Sep 2018 13:58:07 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=44031 Mark Matheson is a visiting professor of business at "the BYU of the East Coast", Southern Virginia University. Matheson received a doctorate in organizational leadership from the University of Phoenix, a master’s degree in business administration from Harvard University and a bachelor’s degree in chemical engineering from the University of Utah. In 2010, Matheson was an Entrepreneur in Residence at The Willes Center for International Entrepreneurship at BYU-Hawaii. He worked for 25 years as a stock market analyst. He grew up in Utah, lived in seven different states during his childhood, and served his mission in Switzerland and France. He has an instagram page, @scriptureanalyst, that makes you see scriptures in a different way. Highlights 8:30 Southern Virginia University mission statement- create leader servants 11:00 Being a proactive leader, not just serving the squeaky wheel 13:00 Using ideas of others not just the bishop 14:25 Return and report- how to hold people accountable 16:30 Being an effective servant leader- removing obstacles and providing resources 17:45 3 T's- Time, Tools, Training 18:40 "People don't know how much you know until they know how much you care" 21:00 Leadership by walking around 21:45 Two to-do lists 23:30 Less time being reactive and more time being proactive 24:45 Good interactive prayers 25:45 Book: It's Your Ship, by D. Michael Abrashoff "Being the best darn ward in the stake" 29:00 Am I doing good for someone else today? 31:00 Example of Sunday school teacher going the extra mile 34:00 Balance between humble and meek 35:40 Accountability in church callings 37:00 Stephen R. Covey- emotional bank accounts- put deposits in followers' bank accounts 40:00 A good leader takes more blame than credit 43:00 Giving permission for those you lead to be creative in their callings 46:00 Making church procedures better by doing them differently Links Instagram: Scripture Analyst Book: It's Your Ship, by D. Michael Abrashoff Mark Matheson is a visiting professor of business at "the BYU of the East Coast", Southern Virginia University. Matheson received a doctorate in organizational leadership from the University of Phoenix, a master’s degree in business administration from... Highlights
8:30 Southern Virginia University mission statement- create leader servants

11:00 Being a proactive leader, not just serving the squeaky wheel

13:00 Using ideas of others not just the bishop

14:25 Return and report- how to hold people accountable

16:30 Being an effective servant leader- removing obstacles and providing resources

17:45 3 T's- Time, Tools, Training

18:40 "People don't know how much you know until they know how much you care"

21:00 Leadership by walking around

21:45 Two to-do lists

23:30 Less time being reactive and more time being proactive

24:45 Good interactive prayers

25:45 Book: It's Your Ship, by D. Michael Abrashoff "Being the best darn ward in the stake"

29:00 Am I doing good for someone else today?

31:00 Example of Sunday school teacher going the extra mile

34:00 Balance between humble and meek

35:40 Accountability in church callings

37:00 Stephen R. Covey- emotional bank accounts- put deposits in followers' bank accounts

40:00 A good leader takes more blame than credit

43:00 Giving permission for those you lead to be creative in their callings

46:00 Making church procedures better by doing them differently
Links
Instagram: Scripture Analyst

Book: It's Your Ship, by D. Michael Abrashoff]]>
Leading Saints clean 51:08
The Art of Teaching Latter-day Saints | An Interview with Hank Smith https://leadingsaints.org/the-art-of-teaching-an-interview-with-hank-smith/ Mon, 03 Sep 2018 16:25:06 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=44012 Dr. Hank Smith has taught seminary, institute, and now teaches at Brigham Young University. He is a regular speaker at religious programs, corporate training events, school assemblies, and educational conferences. He is a master teacher and in this episode, he shares with us some of his secrets and tactics that we can all apply to improve our teaching. This interview was originally part of the Leading Saints Teaching Saints Virtual Summit. Transcription Available Below Highlights 4:45 Start with remembering why you are teaching: Genesis 44:34 How can we go back to Heavenly Father without these students? 7:00 Teaching is like art: There are fundamentals but otherwise everyone's art is different. Get the fundamentals and then play to your strengths. 10:45 What to do when a discussion is not happening Write out your questions beforehand Add "Why do you think...?" when asking a question Build-in the silence so it isn't awkward Let people know you're going to ask them Avoid the easy questions Be authentic about wanting a discussion 18:30 Look at examples of the Savior teaching: John 4 Set them up to get their attention Know your students and make it relevant to them Bring up testimony at the right moment 25:30 More effective when teaching by a one-by-one ministry 29:20 Watch for moments to get to, rather than getting through material 30:30 Using gratitude and praise 33:45 Collect and use stories 38:25 Prepare until you're excited 39:50 Mark 2: four people working together to carry a man to Jesus 42:45 How to share scriptures Power in translating it into modern language, in word-for-word reading, and in summarizing Ask: did you understand? Read with enthusiasm and personality 47:45 There's an ideal, but be okay with the real Interview Transcript Leading Saints (LS): Welcome back to another session of the Teaching Saints Virtual Summit. This is one of the later recordings that we're doing, and it's been fun to see everything unfold, and people from around the world, thousands of individuals tuning in and hopefully gaining some insight on how to be better teachers in the church. Today I'm back on the campus of BYU, talking with Dr. Hank Smith. How are you? Hank Smith: Hello. Good to be with you, Kurt. LS: Now, tell the 10 people out there listening that have never heard of you, give them some background. Hank: Yes, the 10 out of the 11 who are listening. I've taught in [seminaries institutes? 00:00:52] for...it's been since 2000, so 18 years. I moved over to BYU in 2010, and I've taught here since then. [00:01:03] I work for Deseret Book a little bit, BYU Education Week, EFY, try to spread some goodness. LS: Nice, awesome. As I usually start out with, I want to imagine that we're in front of a room full of new gospel doctrine teachers, maybe seminary teachers, youth teachers, let's go through some points on improving teaching. But where do we start? What's a good jumping off point? Hank: I think for me, personally, I have to remember why we do what we do because it can get tiresome. And sometimes things don't go as well as planned, and you think, "Why do I even try," because it's not working. So you have to remember why. You come back to why. I have to go through my reasons why I do what I do, and in Genesis 44, Joseph is testing his brothers to see if they've changed. This is when he's in Egypt and they've come to Egypt for food, and he wants to see if they've changed, [00:02:03] and so he frames Benjamin. Most people have seen the play, haven't read the book, but most people know the play. LS: Which is a historically [acting]. Hank: Right, right. Yeah, totally. They sing the songs right here in the chapters. But in Genesis 44, he said he's going to take Benjamin and put him in prison, and he's going to let the brothers go. And he says, "You can go." He wants to see; will they leave their little brother behind? If they do, Dr. Hank Smith has taught seminary, institute, and now teaches at Brigham Young University. He is a regular speaker at religious programs, corporate training events, school assemblies, and educational conferences.
Transcription Available Below
Highlights
4:45 Start with remembering why you are teaching: Genesis 44:34 How can we go back to Heavenly Father without these students?
7:00 Teaching is like art: There are fundamentals but otherwise everyone's art is different. Get the fundamentals and then play to your strengths.
10:45 What to do when a discussion is not happening


* Write out your questions beforehand
* Add "Why do you think...?" when asking a question
* Build-in the silence so it isn't awkward
* Let people know you're going to ask them
* Avoid the easy questions
* Be authentic about wanting a discussion

18:30 Look at examples of the Savior teaching: John 4


* Set them up to get their attention
* Know your students and make it relevant to them
* Bring up testimony at the right moment

25:30 More effective when teaching by a one-by-one ministry
29:20 Watch for moments to get to, rather than getting through material
30:30 Using gratitude and praise
33:45 Collect and use stories
38:25 Prepare until you're excited
39:50 Mark 2: four people working together to carry a man to Jesus
42:45 How to share scriptures


* Power in translating it into modern language, in word-for-word reading, and in summarizing
* Ask: did you understand?
* Read with enthusiasm and personality

47:45 There's an ideal, but be okay with the real

Interview Transcript
Leading Saints (LS): Welcome back to another session of the Teaching Saints Virtual Summit. This is one of the later recordings that we're doing, and it's been fun to see everything unfold, and people from around the world, thousands of individuals tuning in and hopefully gaining some insight on how to be better teachers in the church. Today I'm back on the campus of BYU, talking with Dr. Hank Smith. How are you?

Hank Smith: Hello. Good to be with you, Kurt.

LS: Now, tell the 10 people out there listening that have never heard of you, give them some background.

Hank: Yes, the 10 out of the 11 who are listening. I've taught in [seminaries institutes? 00:00:52] for...it's been since 2000, so 18 years. I moved over to BYU in 2010, and I've taught here since then. [00:01:03] I work for Deseret Book a little bit, BYU Education Week, EFY, try to spread some goodness.

LS: Nice, awesome. As I usually start out with, I want to imagine that we're in front of a room full of new gospel doctrine teachers, maybe seminary teachers, youth teachers, let's go through some points on improving teaching. But where do we start? What's a good jumping off point?

Hank: I think for me, personally, I have to remember why we do what we do because it can get tiresome. And sometimes things don't go as well as planned, and you think, "Why do I even try," because it's not working. So you have to remember why. You come back to why.

I have to go through my reasons why I do what I do, and in Genesis 44, Joseph is testing his brothers to see if they've changed. This is when he's in Egypt and they've come to Egypt for food, and he wants to see if they've changed, [00:02:03] and so he frames Benjamin. Most people have seen the play, haven't read the book, but most people know the play.

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Leading Saints clean 51:34
Ward Mission Leaders & The Art of Neighboring | An Interview with Dave Runyon https://leadingsaints.org/leading-in-the-art-of-neighboring-an-interview-with-dave-runyon/ Sun, 26 Aug 2018 15:33:31 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=43658 Dave Runyon served as a pastor for nine years in the Denver area. In 2010 he launched a neighboring movement that mobilized over 70 churches and 40,000 people in the area, and then turned his experience into a book, The Art of Neighboring. Today he helps government, business, and faith leaders unite around common causes and helps businesses that have a desire to make a difference in their communities. Dave and his wife, Lauren, have four kids. Highlights 6:45 Introduction: Dave's background His experiences with members of the Church His own church experiences 10:50 Service as a pastor and creating the neighboring movement 19:00 The block map quiz An activity to test yourself and work on The key to the neighboring movement 22:20 Having mildly awkward conversations 29:15 What neighboring is not; we do this not to convert, but because we are converted 32:40 Tactics to minister instead of treating relationships as a program 36:30 Reducing the anxiety in the relationship by bringing up the difficult questions 38:00 Embracing getting out of your bubble with people who are different 46:20 Where to start: putting neighboring into action 48:00 Learning to move through anxiety in relationships as a leader Links Building Bridges Before Baptisms | How I Lead as Stake Public Affairs Specialist The Art of Ministering Through Neighboring | Facebook Live with Andrew Stewart The Art of Neighboring ArtofNeighboring.com Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community Dave Runyon served as a pastor for nine years in the Denver area. In 2010 he launched a neighboring movement that mobilized over 70 churches and 40,000 people in the area, and then turned his experience into a book, The Art of Neighboring. The Art of Neighboring. Today he helps government, business, and faith leaders unite around common causes and helps businesses that have a desire to make a difference in their communities. Dave and his wife, Lauren, have four kids.
Highlights
6:45 Introduction:


* Dave's background
* His experiences with members of the Church
* His own church experiences

10:50 Service as a pastor and creating the neighboring movement
19:00 The block map quiz


* An activity to test yourself and work on
* The key to the neighboring movement

22:20 Having mildly awkward conversations

29:15 What neighboring is not; we do this not to convert, but because we are converted

32:40 Tactics to minister instead of treating relationships as a program

36:30 Reducing the anxiety in the relationship by bringing up the difficult questions

38:00 Embracing getting out of your bubble with people who are different

46:20 Where to start: putting neighboring into action

48:00 Learning to move through anxiety in relationships as a leader
Links
Building Bridges Before Baptisms | How I Lead as Stake Public Affairs Specialist
The Art of Ministering Through Neighboring | Facebook Live with Andrew Stewart
The Art of Neighboring
ArtofNeighboring.com
Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community
]]>
Leading Saints clean 52:33
What I Wish I Knew Before Organizing a Primary Program https://leadingsaints.org/wiwik-primary-program/ Thu, 23 Aug 2018 07:00:41 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=43650 Finding yourself in charge of planning, teaching, and organizing the Primary to put on a sacrament meeting program can be overwhelming! Thankfully, Leading Saints is here to help. In this episode we have gathered experiences from current and former Primary leaders from around the world sharing what they wish they knew before they were called to prepare and present the yearly program. You will find their advice inspiring and practical. Contribute Your Own WIWIK Experience In an effort to help others learn how to get from A to Z in preparing their Primary programs, we are organizing future podcast episodes that will feature current and past leaders sharing what they wish they knew before they were called. You will only have 5 minutes to record so write some thoughts on a paper and then record! How to record: Click the green button below Answer the following question in less than 5 minutes: What do you wish you knew before you were called to lead the Primary program? Start your answer with “Before I was called as _________, I wish I knew…” Stop recording Listen to recording and record again if you would like Enter name and email Submit recording by clicking “send” Finding yourself in charge of planning, teaching, and organizing the Primary to put on a sacrament meeting program can be overwhelming! Thankfully, Leading Saints is here to help. In this episode we have gathered experiences from current and former Pri... Contribute Your Own WIWIK Experience
In an effort to help others learn how to get from A to Z in preparing their Primary programs, we are organizing future podcast episodes that will feature current and past leaders sharing what they wish they knew before they were called.

You will only have 5 minutes to record so write some thoughts on a paper and then record!
How to record:

* Click the green button below
* Answer the following question in less than 5 minutes:

* What do you wish you knew before you were called to lead the Primary program?
* Start your answer with “Before I was called as _________, I wish I knew…”


* Stop recording
* Listen to recording and record again if you would like
* Enter name and email
* Submit recording by clicking “send”

]]>
Leading Saints clean 23:36
Helping Leaders Understand Faith Crisis | An Interview With David Ostler https://leadingsaints.org/helping-leaders-understand-faith-crisis-an-interview-with-david-ostler/ Sun, 19 Aug 2018 07:00:51 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=43429 Dave Ostler, who lives in Northern Virginia (Washington, D.C. metro area), was raised in Salt Lake City, served a mission in Japan, married in the temple, and was educated in the Eastern U.S. He and Sister Ostler have lived in New York, Minnesota, England, India, and Sierra Leone, Africa, where they presided over the Church’s mission until it was temporarily closed due to an Ebola outbreak. They subsequently served a mission (one of five for Brother Ostler) with a responsibility for historical sites in Palmyra. More recently they were asked by their stake presidency to explore the reasons some LDS members cease attending church or lose their faith. Brother Ostler has also served as a bishop and stake president. Now retired, he professionally developed research data to help people make better healthcare decisions. Highlights 3:00 Letter with survey link sent to 700 people asking why they don’t attend church. Conducted focus group and met in non-church setting before forming conclusions. Spoke with ward/stake leaders to ascertain their views.  Recommended a training plan for the stake to address the survey findings. 5:00 Solicited ward/stake leader views with 120 statements/questions. Analyzed 600 responses to compare leader assumptions to responses given by members who had left. 6:27 Anecdotal examples of non-church goer reactions to the invitation to be surveyed. 9:00 What survey recipients want church leaders to know. (Responses to an open-end question) 12:00 Listen as Christ would listen. Don’t respond to fewer actives with an overly prescriptive approach. Avoid the tendency to “talk them into” returning to the fold. 14:00 Faith “transition” (not “crisis”) perhaps has a less negative connotation for some who will transition to a more meaningful faith. Crisis often happens in a compressed time where something causes a person to lose all footing as to what they believe and can rely on. Leaders should avoid overly broad assumptions. 21:45 Summary of common assumptions by leaders as to why people have fallen away, compared to what survey respondents said were their actual reasons. Do the assumptions about members being offended, having conflict with a fellow member or not wanting to live the commandments hold up under scrutiny? 25:00 Discussion of “triggers” that prompt some to lose their faith foundation. What about church history, gender roles, transparency and LGBT issues? Respondents’ views vary by their age and gender. 27:20 Making effective use of the “Gospel Topics” essays on the Church website to provide context and build trust. Some leaders have not read them. Does faith mean having the answers to everything? 32:05 “Social” issues may fuel the fire of someone already in a faith crisis. Building a community of acceptance versus being dismissive. Does the content of church meetings reflect relevancy to help people develop a pathway forward? They want to be able to trust the institution, feel supported and find relevance. Are teachers/leaders tempted to respond to inquiries by testimony alone?  Leader example. 41:00 Protecting the doctrine while also showing empathy as a leader. Teach people, not lessons. Christ dined with the publicans. Are we more accepting of investigators than we are of members? A “culture of certainty” in congregations may, in some cases, diminish the reality of those who struggle. 49:30 Dual nature of a bishop’s role—(a) pastoral and (b) organizational. In sacrament meetings is there a tendency to overuse certain themes at the expense of other relevant topics? Address the issue of faith struggles from the pulpit. Are teachers examples of inclusion or are people induced to form a “foyer ward?” Dealing with these issues in ward council and first-Sunday priesthood/relief society councils. Seeking to understand, not twist arms. Are female views (as opposed to mere affirmation/echo chambers) actively sought in stake/ward council meetings? Dave Ostler, who lives in Northern Virginia (Washington, D.C. metro area), was raised in Salt Lake City, served a mission in Japan, married in the temple, and was educated in the Eastern U.S. He and Sister Ostler have lived in New York, Minnesota, Highlights
3:00 Letter with survey link sent to 700 people asking why they don’t attend church. Conducted focus group and met in non-church setting before forming conclusions. Spoke with ward/stake leaders to ascertain their views.  Recommended a training plan for the stake to address the survey findings.

5:00 Solicited ward/stake leader views with 120 statements/questions. Analyzed 600 responses to compare leader assumptions to responses given by members who had left.

6:27 Anecdotal examples of non-church goer reactions to the invitation to be surveyed.

9:00 What survey recipients want church leaders to know. (Responses to an open-end question)

12:00 Listen as Christ would listen. Don’t respond to fewer actives with an overly prescriptive approach. Avoid the tendency to “talk them into” returning to the fold.

14:00 Faith “transition” (not “crisis”) perhaps has a less negative connotation for some who will transition to a more meaningful faith. Crisis often happens in a compressed time where something causes a person to lose all footing as to what they believe and can rely on. Leaders should avoid overly broad assumptions.

21:45 Summary of common assumptions by leaders as to why people have fallen away, compared to what survey respondents said were their actual reasons. Do the assumptions about members being offended, having conflict with a fellow member or not wanting to live the commandments hold up under scrutiny?

25:00 Discussion of “triggers” that prompt some to lose their faith foundation. What about church history, gender roles, transparency and LGBT issues? Respondents’ views vary by their age and gender.

27:20 Making effective use of the “Gospel Topics” essays on the Church website to provide context and build trust. Some leaders have not read them. Does faith mean having the answers to everything?

32:05 “Social” issues may fuel the fire of someone already in a faith crisis. Building a community of acceptance versus being dismissive. Does the content of church meetings reflect relevancy to help people develop a pathway forward? They want to be able to trust the institution, feel supported and find relevance. Are teachers/leaders tempted to respond to inquiries by testimony alone?  Leader example.

41:00 Protecting the doctrine while also showing empathy as a leader. Teach people, not lessons. Christ dined with the publicans. Are we more accepting of investigators than we are of members? A “culture of certainty” in congregations may, in some cases, diminish the reality of those who struggle.

49:30 Dual nature of a bishop’s role—(a) pastoral and (b) organizational. In sacrament meetings is there a tendency to overuse certain themes at the expense of other relevant topics? Address the issue of faith struggles from the pulpit. Are teachers examples of inclusion or are people induced to form a “foyer ward?” Dealing with these issues in ward council and first-Sunday priesthood/relief society councils. Seeking to understand,]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:15:19
When Tragedy Strikes the Bishop’s Family | An Interview with Jim Hastings https://leadingsaints.org/when-tragedy-strikes-the-bishops-family-an-interview-with-jim-hastings/ Mon, 13 Aug 2018 13:48:38 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=43245 Jim Hastings is a bishop in Dallas, Texas. He and his wife have been married 23 years and have five children. About three years ago during the time he was serving as bishop, his 19-year-old daughter, Zoe, was kidnapped and murdered. In this interview, he talks about that experience and other experiences dealing with grief and tragedy as a bishop. Highlights 5:40 Personal background 7:30 Calling as a bishop 10:30 About his daughter, Zoe 14:10 Narrative of his experience with Zoe's abduction and murder 20:20 Personal reactions through the experience 26:00 The days after 28:35 Previous experience with losing his dad and coming to terms with death 30:30 How he handled the emotional trauma; support and therapy experience 34:30 Support needs from neighbors and ward members 39:00 Forgiveness in a situation like this 44:40 Serving as bishop during this experience 49:35 Gratitude for the tools he was given to handle the experience 52:15 Approaching individuals experiencing trials 54:20 Using a bishop's checklist for funerals to support and help the family left behind 1:00:00 The Savior can help us make connections between past experience and preparation for future experiences Links Troy and John Interview Bishop's checklist for helping with funerals Jim Hastings is a bishop in Dallas, Texas. He and his wife have been married 23 years and have five children. About three years ago during the time he was serving as bishop, his 19-year-old daughter, Zoe, was kidnapped and murdered. In this interview, Highlights
5:40 Personal background

7:30 Calling as a bishop

10:30 About his daughter, Zoe

14:10 Narrative of his experience with Zoe's abduction and murder

20:20 Personal reactions through the experience

26:00 The days after

28:35 Previous experience with losing his dad and coming to terms with death

30:30 How he handled the emotional trauma; support and therapy experience

34:30 Support needs from neighbors and ward members

39:00 Forgiveness in a situation like this

44:40 Serving as bishop during this experience

49:35 Gratitude for the tools he was given to handle the experience

52:15 Approaching individuals experiencing trials

54:20 Using a bishop's checklist for funerals to support and help the family left behind

1:00:00 The Savior can help us make connections between past experience and preparation for future experiences
Links
Troy and John Interview
Bishop's checklist for helping with funerals



]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:05:51
Join Us at the Moral & Ethical Leadership Conference in Salt Lake City, Utah | Sept. 14 https://leadingsaints.org/join-us-at-the-moral-ethical-leadership-conference-in-salt-lake-city-utah-sept-14/ Fri, 10 Aug 2018 14:00:12 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=43255 Last year I (Kurt) attended the Moral & Ethical Leadership Conference in Salt Lake City and left the conference inspired and feeling like a better-prepared leader. I am excited to attend again this year on September 14 in Salt Lake City, Utah and I'd love to meet you there. Be sure to listen to the attached podcast episode where David Austin, Vice President of the BYU Management Society Salt Lake Chapter, discusses the conference and what will be experienced there. To register for the conference visit: https://saltlake.byums.org/ (then click on the blue text on the right side of the page) ***EARLY BIRD PRICING ENDS AUGUST 15 - ACT NOW!*** Please let us know if you plan to attend the conference so that we can notify you of a special Leading Saints gathering that will happen in conjunction with the event. Conference Speakers Event Details To register for the conference visit: https://saltlake.byums.org/ (then click on the blue text on the right side of the page) Last year I (Kurt) attended the Moral & Ethical Leadership Conference in Salt Lake City and left the conference inspired and feeling like a better-prepared leader. I am excited to attend again this year on September 14 in Salt Lake City,
Be sure to listen to the attached podcast episode where David Austin, Vice President of the BYU Management Society Salt Lake Chapter, discusses the conference and what will be experienced there.

To register for the conference visit: https://saltlake.byums.org/ (then click on the blue text on the right side of the page)

***EARLY BIRD PRICING ENDS AUGUST 15 - ACT NOW!***

Please let us know if you plan to attend the conference so that we can notify you of a special Leading Saints gathering that will happen in conjunction with the event.
Conference Speakers

Event Details


To register for the conference visit: https://saltlake.byums.org/ (then click on the blue text on the right side of the page)]]>
Leading Saints clean 14:57
Leading Others to be Better Than Happy | An Interview with Jody Moore https://leadingsaints.org/leading-others-to-be-better-than-happy-an-interview-with-jody-moore/ Sun, 05 Aug 2018 07:00:44 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=43159 Jody Moore is a life coach and is well-known for her podcast, Better Than Happy. Her background is in corporate training and leadership coaching, and she has a master's degree in Adult Education and Training. She is a Certified Coach through The Life Coach School and works primarily with women who want to move from good to great in their lives. She enjoys helping people navigate topics such as relationships, confidence, and money, and works to guide them with tools based in cognitive functioning, understanding their own brains, and how emotions drive us to action. Born & raised LDS, Jody followed her own journey to find her testimony. Her husband is her business partner and they live in Spokane, Washington, with their four children. Highlights 14:30 Advice for Bishops specifically related to LDS Women: the root of problems stems from not understanding their own value. Women tend to be harder on themselves. Love them All must be on their own journey to learn and understand worth Divide the doctrine from the culture of the church It's ok to feel negative emotions. “Opposition in all things”. Reading, studying scriptures are important but you will still feel sad, mad, etc. at times. 18:45 What do we need to know about feelings to help us appreciate the journey. Unhealthy ways to deal with emotions: Resisting feelings – we do it, but it is not healthy Escaping feelings – we do it, but again not healthy (sugar, alcohol, shopping, pornography) Healthy response to feelings/emotions - just FEEL the emotion. Relax into the emotion, breathe into it. It’s ok to be sad, we need to learn to work through the emotions. 23:00 Difference between Clean pain (loss) and Dirty pain (gossip, resentment, natural man) 25:00 Typical trends for women, her 5 pillars in coaching: Relationships – women get sense of joy and fulfillment from relationships Health – physical, mental & emotional health Money – healthy relationship with money Confidence – recognizing own value, requires practice Contribution – basic human need to contribute to society, sometimes with raising kids, others with working Advice for RS president to affect contribution: Ministering requires more spiritual maturity. Keep all “involved in the discussion”. Church seems a good model for contribution and fulfilment, but many are not fulfilled with this activity. Not “what am I doing” but “why am I doing it” will create feeling of fulfillment. Don’t resent what you are doing, life is too short. “People pleasers are liars.” How do we operate in full integrity. We need to work to get to a place where we “want” to do things that are asked. AND – it is ok to say no. Appreciate being asked, but it’s ok to say No. Find a loving reason to do things. Culture of the church is prescriptive, the Doctrine of the church is NOT. We need to be careful when we make decisions, that we are following the doctrine and less concerned about the culture. 39:45 Advice for leaders to stimulate healthy Relationships: We are aware of people outside of us but we cannot control them. We can control ourselves. “Who do I want to be in this situation?” How do I feel about me when I think poorly of this other person? How do I want to feel? Realizing that we can’t be for everyone, but we can still show love 46:20 Health – we are healthy in relation to the rest of the world. Culture of the church hangs on to the “no’s”, but we need to see individually what in our own lives is disconnecting me. 48:50 Money – helping people get to a more abundant mindset, realize all you have. It’s not about having more, but doing with what we have 52:20 Confidence – difference between pride and confidence. We are all equally valuable and we are always told “you are a child of God”. We need to believe that and have that relationship with ourselves. We need to speak to ourselves as we would speak to our sister. Don’t deflect. Jody Moore is a life coach and is well-known for her podcast, Better Than Happy. Her background is in corporate training and leadership coaching, and she has a master's degree in Adult Education and Training. Highlights
14:30 Advice for Bishops specifically related to LDS Women: the root of problems stems from not understanding their own value. Women tend to be harder on themselves.


* Love them
* All must be on their own journey to learn and understand worth
* Divide the doctrine from the culture of the church
* It's ok to feel negative emotions. “Opposition in all things”. Reading, studying scriptures are important but you will still feel sad, mad, etc. at times.

18:45 What do we need to know about feelings to help us appreciate the journey.


* Unhealthy ways to deal with emotions:

* Resisting feelings – we do it, but it is not healthy
* Escaping feelings – we do it, but again not healthy (sugar, alcohol, shopping, pornography)


* Healthy response to feelings/emotions - just FEEL the emotion. Relax into the emotion, breathe into it. It’s ok to be sad, we need to learn to work through the emotions.

23:00 Difference between Clean pain (loss) and Dirty pain (gossip, resentment, natural man)
25:00 Typical trends for women, her 5 pillars in coaching:


* Relationships – women get sense of joy and fulfillment from relationships
* Health – physical, mental & emotional health
* Money – healthy relationship with money
* Confidence – recognizing own value, requires practice
* Contribution – basic human need to contribute to society, sometimes with raising kids, others with working


* Advice for RS president to affect contribution: Ministering requires more spiritual maturity. Keep all “involved in the discussion”.
Church seems a good model for contribution and fulfilment, but many are not fulfilled with this activity. Not “what am I doing” but “why am I doing it” will create feeling of fulfillment.
* Don’t resent what you are doing, life is too short. “People pleasers are liars.” How do we operate in full integrity. We need to work to get to a place where we “want” to do things that are asked. AND – it is ok to say no. Appreciate being asked, but it’s ok to say No. Find a loving reason to do things.
* Culture of the church is prescriptive, the Doctrine of the church is NOT. We need to be careful when we make decisions, that we are following the doctrine and less concerned about the culture.

39:45 Advice for leaders to stimulate healthy Relationships:


* We are aware of people outside of us but we cannot control them. We can control ourselves. “Who do I want to be in this situation?” How do I feel about me when I think poorly of this other person? How do I want to feel?
* Realizing that we can’t be for everyone, but we can still show love

46:20 Health – we are healthy in relation to the rest of the world. Culture of the church hangs on to the “no’s”, but we need to see individually what in our own lives is disconnecting me.
48:50 Money – helping people get to a more abundant mindset, realize all you have. It’s not about having more,]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:01:16
Grace in the Bishop’s Office | An Interview with Robert Millet https://leadingsaints.org/grace-in-the-bishops-office-an-interview-with-robert-millet/ Tue, 31 Jul 2018 16:04:54 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=43033 Robert Millet, Ph.D., is an author, speaker, and professor of ancient scripture and emeritus Dean of Religious Education at Brigham Young University. Author of 76 published works, Millet has been involved in BYU Education Week for many years and is well-known as a commentator on the BYUTV Scripture Discussions program. He is also Manager of Outreach and Interfaith Relations for the LDS Church's Public Affairs Department. Highlights 6:45 Experiences with the scripture discussion series on KBYU 10:00 Teaching and administrative experience at BYU 11:45 His experience writing 77 books 13:30 What led him to write The Atoning One and the growth of a Christ-conscious movement in the LDS Church 24:30 Teaching doctrine in Sunday School 29:00 Importance of knowledgeable teachers 31:45 Creating an environment where class members feel safe to be vulnerable 37:30 The leader’s role in correcting doctrine and creating safety at church 43:00 The Atonement and grace in the Bishop’s office 44:00 The Bishop should always be teaching kindly 45:00 The Bishop as a channel for God’s grace 53:00 Teach what the steps of repentance mean and give study assignments 55:30 Bring closure to the individual 58:15 Don’t take the fast track to repentance 1:01:30 Leadership offers the opportunity to see others as the Lord sees them Links BYUTV Scripture Discussions The Atoning One Image: LDS Living/Deseret Book Robert Millet, Ph.D., is an author, speaker, and professor of ancient scripture and emeritus Dean of Religious Education at Brigham Young University. Author of 76 published works, Millet has been involved in BYU Education Week for many years and is wel... Highlights
6:45 Experiences with the scripture discussion series on KBYU

10:00 Teaching and administrative experience at BYU

11:45 His experience writing 77 books

13:30 What led him to write The Atoning One and the growth of a Christ-conscious movement in the LDS Church

24:30 Teaching doctrine in Sunday School

29:00 Importance of knowledgeable teachers

31:45 Creating an environment where class members feel safe to be vulnerable

37:30 The leader’s role in correcting doctrine and creating safety at church

43:00 The Atonement and grace in the Bishop’s office

44:00 The Bishop should always be teaching kindly

45:00 The Bishop as a channel for God’s grace

53:00 Teach what the steps of repentance mean and give study assignments

55:30 Bring closure to the individual

58:15 Don’t take the fast track to repentance

1:01:30 Leadership offers the opportunity to see others as the Lord sees them
Links
BYUTV Scripture Discussions
The Atoning One

Image: LDS Living/Deseret Book]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:00:10
How I Lead the Youth Through Truth & Doctrine | An Interview with Erin Tanner https://leadingsaints.org/how-i-lead-the-youth-through-truth-doctrine-an-interview-with-erin-tanner/ Sun, 22 Jul 2018 07:00:26 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=42709 Erin Tanner lives in Cortez, Colorado, and is the mother of three children. She served a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Along with being a youth leader she has been a presenter at Especially For Youth for three summers. Highlights 4:49 Youth come hungry to learn the gospel. 5:17 Data shows testimony growth is attributed most to four years of seminary and second to that was attendance at EFY. 7:19 EFY happens through the Church Education System. It is held throughout the country at various locations. 7:46 They have different varieties of EFY such as, outdoor, humanitarian, and adventure for youth. 8:43 Leaders could become familiar with EFY options and help encourage youth to attend the one that is best for them. 8:51 EFY has a scholarship program to help cover some of the cost. 11:07 Young Women Ideas: Harry Potter Young Women in Excellence theme, and a Harry Potter New Beginnings. 12:31 Be a window. Have the youth leave knowing their Heavenly Father loves them instead of thinking their leader is cool. 16:20 Pull back and be intentional. 17:50 Teaching with object lessons. 19:04 Have fun with the youth and allow fun to happen. 26:46 Be a useful instrument. You don’t have to do it all and be all. Look to those around you for help. 29:29 Fill your mind with truth. Turn to the scriptures, podcasts, and conference talks. 33:02 Let the scriptures wash over you. 33:46 Teach true doctrine. 40:46 Help the youth learn where to go to find answers. Teach clear doctrine. 41:46 Use Pinterest to log ideas and customize them for your young women. 48:43 Be authentic and genuine. Be a follower of Christ. Links Especially For Youth The Divine Center, by Stephen Covey YW in Excellence Value Pageant YW in Excellence and New Beginnings w/ a Harry Potter theme Erin Tanner lives in Cortez, Colorado, and is the mother of three children. She served a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Along with being a youth leader she has been a presenter at Especially For Youth for three summers. Highlights
4:49 Youth come hungry to learn the gospel.
5:17 Data shows testimony growth is attributed most to four years of seminary and second to that was attendance at EFY.
7:19 EFY happens through the Church Education System. It is held throughout the country at various locations.
7:46 They have different varieties of EFY such as, outdoor, humanitarian, and adventure for youth.
8:43 Leaders could become familiar with EFY options and help encourage youth to attend the one that is best for them.
8:51 EFY has a scholarship program to help cover some of the cost.
11:07 Young Women Ideas: Harry Potter Young Women in Excellence theme, and a Harry Potter New Beginnings.
12:31 Be a window. Have the youth leave knowing their Heavenly Father loves them instead of thinking their leader is cool.
16:20 Pull back and be intentional.
17:50 Teaching with object lessons.
19:04 Have fun with the youth and allow fun to happen.
26:46 Be a useful instrument. You don’t have to do it all and be all. Look to those around you for help.
29:29 Fill your mind with truth. Turn to the scriptures, podcasts, and conference talks.
33:02 Let the scriptures wash over you.
33:46 Teach true doctrine.
40:46 Help the youth learn where to go to find answers. Teach clear doctrine.
41:46 Use Pinterest to log ideas and customize them for your young women.
48:43 Be authentic and genuine. Be a follower of Christ.
Links
Especially For Youth
The Divine Center, by Stephen Covey
YW in Excellence Value Pageant
YW in Excellence and New Beginnings w/ a Harry Potter theme]]>
Leading Saints clean 56:34
Leading Early Returned Missionaries | An Interview with Destiny Yarbro https://leadingsaints.org/leading-early-returned-missionaries-an-interview-with-destiny-yarbro/ Sun, 15 Jul 2018 07:00:45 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=42534 Destiny Yarbro is the author of Home Early Now What?: How to Navigate Coming Home Early from a Mission and maintains a related website with resources for early returned missionaries. She served in the Hungary, Budapest mission but had to return home early and recognized the universal struggle of missionaries whose missions were cut short for whatever reason. Destiny grew up in Prescott, Arizona, and lives there now. Highlights 02:15 Background and mission experience 16:30 The ward and stake follows the example of the Bishop: Treat them like any other missionary coming home — 18:30 When transgression is involved, coming home is the first step forward — 21:45 Importance of the first Sunday home — 24:15 Finding some way to keep them involved — 25:45 Discussing the return announcement with the missionary — 26:15 Examples 27:45 Meeting with parents/family prior to the missionary's return to offer suggestions and support 34:15 Meeting with the early returned missionary immediately and often — 36:30 Healing suggestions for the missionary — 38:30 "Normal" experiences and universal need for professional counseling — 40:30 Worries about people they didn't teach 41:15 Addressing the question of returning to the mission... or not — 42:15 Different mission options: online and young church service missionaries — 44:15 Approaching the subject with the missionary — 45:30 Dealing with change from serving to being the subject of attention 47:15 Points for the ward council and ward members 50:15 Mission Fortify recommendation 51:00 Advice for early returned missionaries 51:45 The Atonement takes difficulties and turns them into opportunities to serve others Links Home Early Now What?: How to Navigate Coming Home Early from a Mission Earlyrm.com LDS.org: Young Church Service Missionaries Mission Fortify: firesides and online support Written Transcript Kurt Francom (LS): Today we're talking with Destiny Yarbro. How are you, Destiny? Destiny Yarbro: Doing well, thanks Kurt. LS: Awesome. Now, what does the Leading Saints audience need to know about you and what led you to be a guest on this podcast? Destiny Yarbro: Well, I grew up in a small town. I wanted to go on a mission for a long time and when I finally got the opportunity (06:00) to go things went very differently than I planned, I had to come home early for health reasons and thankfully I was able to go back out, but I was only able to go back out for another three or four months. And then I had to come home again. So, I got that experience twice. LS: So, take us back to when you opened up your call. Where did you expect to go or want to go? Any inclination one way or the other and then where did you end up going? Destiny Yarbro: I wanted to go anywhere, but, I hope this doesn't offend (06:30) anyone, but except for Albuquerque. Good people in Albuquerque, but for some reason that's the place I didn't want to go. So, when I opened my call, and I opened it by myself because I was convinced I was going to Albuquerque and I needed some time to process. So, I opened up my call by myself and it was to the Budapest, Hungary Mission and it blew me away. I did not expect that at all. LS: So where were you living at this time when you opened the call? Destiny Yarbro: I was living in Arizona (07:00), but I was on the steps of the St. George Temple at about 11:00 at night. Anyway. It was great! LS: And so, there's no reason or there was not a specific prompting you had that you thought Albuquerque, but nonetheless you convinced yourself that- Destiny Yarbro: I mean, you always hear those stories of those people who go to places they didn't want to go, I guess that became the reason why I thought I was going to Albuquerque. Yup. LS: Then you went to the Provo MTC, I assume. Destiny Yarbro: Yup, Provo MTC. We were in the impossible language hallway. That's what we called it. (07:30) The Hallway that you're just there forever learning your la... Destiny Yarbro is the author of Home Early Now What?: How to Navigate Coming Home Early from a Mission and maintains a related website with resources for early returned missionaries. She served in the Hungary, Highlights
02:15 Background and mission experience
16:30 The ward and stake follows the example of the Bishop: Treat them like any other missionary coming home
— 18:30 When transgression is involved, coming home is the first step forward
— 21:45 Importance of the first Sunday home
— 24:15 Finding some way to keep them involved
— 25:45 Discussing the return announcement with the missionary
— 26:15 Examples
27:45 Meeting with parents/family prior to the missionary's return to offer suggestions and support
34:15 Meeting with the early returned missionary immediately and often
— 36:30 Healing suggestions for the missionary
— 38:30 "Normal" experiences and universal need for professional counseling
— 40:30 Worries about people they didn't teach
41:15 Addressing the question of returning to the mission... or not
— 42:15 Different mission options: online and young church service missionaries
— 44:15 Approaching the subject with the missionary
— 45:30 Dealing with change from serving to being the subject of attention
47:15 Points for the ward council and ward members
50:15 Mission Fortify recommendation
51:00 Advice for early returned missionaries
51:45 The Atonement takes difficulties and turns them into opportunities to serve others
Links
Home Early Now What?: How to Navigate Coming Home Early from a Mission
Earlyrm.com
LDS.org: Young Church Service Missionaries
Mission Fortify: firesides and online support
Written Transcript
Kurt Francom (LS): Today we're talking with Destiny Yarbro. How are you, Destiny?

Destiny Yarbro: Doing well, thanks Kurt.

LS: Awesome. Now, what does the Leading Saints audience need to know about you and what led you to be a guest on this podcast?

Destiny Yarbro: Well, I grew up in a small town. I wanted to go on a mission for a long time and when I finally got the opportunity (06:00) to go things went very differently than I planned, I had to come home early for health reasons and thankfully I was able to go back out, but I was only able to go back out for another three or four months. And then I had to come home again. So, I got that experience twice.

LS: So, take us back to when you opened up your call. Where did you expect to go or want to go? Any inclination one way or the other and then where did you end up going?

Destiny Yarbro: I wanted to go anywhere, but, I hope this doesn't offend (06:30) anyone, but except for Albuquerque. Good people in Albuquerque, but for some reason that's the place I didn't want to go. So, when I opened my call, and I opened it by myself because I was convinced I was going to Albuquerque and I needed some time to process. So, I opened up my call by myself and it was to the Budapest, Hungary Mission and it blew me away. I did not expect that at all.

LS: So where were you living at this time when you opened the call?

Destiny Yarbro: I was living in Arizona (07:00), but I was on the steps of the St.]]>
Leading Saints clean 56:55
What I Wish I Knew Before I Was Bishop- Ep. 1 https://leadingsaints.org/what-i-wish-i-knew-before-i-was-bishop-ep-1/ Sun, 08 Jul 2018 21:31:02 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=42572 Do you remember the first month you were called as a bishop? Trying to get organized. Trying to learn names. Trying to figure out how to lead. Here is the first episode of many that will feature short clips of past and current bishops sharing their go-to advice for new bishops. Contribute Your Own WIWIK Experience In an effort to help other bishops gain some quick leadership experience on day 1, we are organizing future podcast episodes that will feature many current and past bishops sharing what they wish they knew before they were called as bishop. You will only have 5 minutes to record so write some thoughts on a paper and then record! How to record: Click the green button below Answer the following question in less than 5 minutes: What do you wish you knew before you were elders quorum president? Start your answer with “Before I was elders quorum president I wish I knew…” Stop recording Listen to recording and record again if you would like Enter name and email Submit recording by clicking “send” The transcript for this episode will be available in a few days. Do you remember the first month you were called as a bishop? Trying to get organized. Trying to learn names. Trying to figure out how to lead. Here is the first episode of many that will feature short clips of past and current bishops sharing their go-... Contribute Your Own WIWIK Experience
In an effort to help other bishops gain some quick leadership experience on day 1, we are organizing future podcast episodes that will feature many current and past bishops sharing what they wish they knew before they were called as bishop.

You will only have 5 minutes to record so write some thoughts on a paper and then record!
How to record:

* Click the green button below
* Answer the following question in less than 5 minutes:

* What do you wish you knew before you were elders quorum president?
* Start your answer with “Before I was elders quorum president I wish I knew…”


* Stop recording
* Listen to recording and record again if you would like
* Enter name and email
* Submit recording by clicking “send”



The transcript for this episode will be available in a few days.]]>
Leading Saints clean 23:18
Applying Leadership Principles at Work and Church | An Interview with Nate Checketts https://leadingsaints.org/applying-leadership-principles-at-work-and-church-an-interview-with-nate-checketts/ Sun, 01 Jul 2018 07:00:13 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=42404 Nate Checketts is the Co-Founder & CEO of Rhone, a premium men’s activewear company founded in 2014. Prior to Rhone, Nate worked for and consulted with some of the biggest technology and entertainment properties in the world including Cisco, The National Football League, Legends, FanVision and Sport Radar, and serves on the board of Veritone. Nate is also an avid entrepreneur who founded and launched 4 companies before the age of 30, including Rhone and Mangia Technologies, whose patents were later acquired by the San Francisco 49ers. Nate graduated from Brigham Young University with a BA in Finance. He and his wife Dayna reside in Connecticut with their three young boys, Gabriel, William, and Nicholas. He has served in a bishopric and as an Elders Quorum president and is currently serving as an early-morning seminary teacher. Highlights In this wide-ranging interview, Brother Checketts discusses principles of leadership that he uses daily in his church service as well as in the business world including: (16:00) How can we have an impact in our callings/positions? How can we create positive change? —Getting past the administration and focusing on helping those we serve feel like we love and care about them and helping them feel and recognize the spirit —Looking to other great leaders as examples (23:30) The importance of genuine empathy for those within our stewardship (28:30) Conducting one-on-one interviews —Asking what’s on their minds – starting with their concerns —Being clear about expectations prior to the meeting (30:15) Importance of building relationships of trust (31:00) Leading with love Links Rhone.com The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R. Covey Alexander Hamilton, by Ron Chernow John Adams, by David McCullough Nate Checketts is the Co-Founder & CEO of Rhone, a premium men’s activewear company founded in 2014. Prior to Rhone, Nate worked for and consulted with some of the biggest technology and entertainment properties in the world including Cisco, Highlights
In this wide-ranging interview, Brother Checketts discusses principles of leadership that he uses daily in his church service as well as in the business world including:

(16:00) How can we have an impact in our callings/positions? How can we create positive change?
—Getting past the administration and focusing on helping those we serve feel like we love and care about them and helping them feel and recognize the spirit
—Looking to other great leaders as examples

(23:30) The importance of genuine empathy for those within our stewardship

(28:30) Conducting one-on-one interviews
—Asking what’s on their minds – starting with their concerns
—Being clear about expectations prior to the meeting

(30:15) Importance of building relationships of trust

(31:00) Leading with love
Links
Rhone.com
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R. Covey
Alexander Hamilton, by Ron Chernow
John Adams, by David McCullough]]>
Leading Saints clean 38:05
Being the Relief Society President the Lord Needs You to Be | How I Lead: Brooke Romney https://leadingsaints.org/being-the-relief-society-president-the-lord-needs-you-to-be-how-i-lead-brooke-romney/ Sun, 24 Jun 2018 15:39:41 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=42317 Brooke Romney is a freelance writer, speaker, and blogger about motherhood and life in general, and writes monthly for the Deseret News. She served as a Relief Society president when she was a young mother in Arizona. After living in several locations around the United States, she currently resides near Salt Lake City, Utah, with her husband and four boys. Highlights 2:45 Writing for the Deseret News —3:20 Being a friend instead of just being friendly —3:50 Being a stonecatcher —6:50 Mistakes and difficulties don't equal failure 10:40 Calling as a young Relief Society president 12:00 Involving everyone in activities Leadership Principles: —18:00 Utilizing the talents of others —20:00 Learning from the experience of others —21:30 Harnessing your own abilities 24:40 Advice for handling welfare situations 28:00 Reaching out to nonmembers 34:00 Relationships are key 37:40 Jesus calls leaders because he needs someone to take care of people Links BrookeRomney.com Brooke's Deseret News articles Facebook: Brooke Romney Writes Twitter: @BrookeoRomney Pinterest: Brookerom Instagram: @brookeromneywrites Brooke Romney is a freelance writer, speaker, and blogger about motherhood and life in general, and writes monthly for the Deseret News. She served as a Relief Society president when she was a young mother in Arizona. Highlights
2:45 Writing for the Deseret News
—3:20 Being a friend instead of just being friendly
—3:50 Being a stonecatcher
—6:50 Mistakes and difficulties don't equal failure
10:40 Calling as a young Relief Society president
12:00 Involving everyone in activities
Leadership Principles:
—18:00 Utilizing the talents of others
—20:00 Learning from the experience of others
—21:30 Harnessing your own abilities
24:40 Advice for handling welfare situations
28:00 Reaching out to nonmembers
34:00 Relationships are key
37:40 Jesus calls leaders because he needs someone to take care of people
Links
BrookeRomney.com
Brooke's Deseret News articles
Facebook: Brooke Romney Writes
Twitter: @BrookeoRomney
Pinterest: Brookerom
Instagram: @brookeromneywrites]]>
Leading Saints clean 41:00
Modeling Leadership in Mongolia | An Interview with President Joseph Benson https://leadingsaints.org/modeling-leadership-in-mongolia-an-interview-with-president-joseph-benson/ Sun, 17 Jun 2018 13:10:27 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=42183 Joseph Benson served as mission president in the Mongolia Ulaanbaatar mission from 2013-2016. He and his wife Heidi are the parents of five (almost six) children and both served as young missionaries in the Mongolia Ulaanbaatar mission; Joseph in 1996-1998 and Heidi in 1999-2001. They met when they both taught Mongolian at the missionary training center in Provo. Just after they were married, they spent a year in China, where Joseph completed a Fulbright fellowship, studying Chinese and Chinese history. Later, Joseph practiced patent law in Southern California for many years before taking a job with a San Diego based Real Estate Company, which transferred their family to Singapore. Joseph was called as a mission president at the young age of 35. As a mission president, he was a leader of the people in Mongolia as well as the missionaries. His experience presented unique challenges in a growing area of the church. Highlights 3:00 President Benson's experience as a young missionary in 1996 7:00 How the church and country was different in Mongolia in 2013 9:20 Restrictions on missionary proselytizing in Mongolia 12:35 Called to serve as a mission president at the age of 35/meeting with President Russell M. Nelson 17:00 Previous experience/inexperience in callings in the church previous to being a mission president 18:00 Experience in Mongolia as mission president 21:00 Use of church handbook in leadership 23:30 Using church handbook to train leaders 30:00 Welfare assistance in Mongolia 32:00 Advice to implementing church self-reliance program 35:15 Secret to missionary work 40:00 Importance of scripture study 45:00 Preparation for zone conference 51:00 Advice for leaders in growing areas of the church 53:30 Elder Rasband's visit to Mongolia 55:00 Focusing on individuals/ minister first and the administration and procedure aid in your endeavors 58:30 Advice to those preparing to serve missions- D&C 11 & chapter 2 and 3 of Preach my Gospel Joseph Benson served as mission president in the Mongolia Ulaanbaatar mission from 2013-2016. He and his wife Heidi are the parents of five (almost six) children and both served as young missionaries in the Mongolia Ulaanbaatar mission; Joseph in 1996-...

Highlights
3:00 President Benson's experience as a young missionary in 1996
7:00 How the church and country was different in Mongolia in 2013
9:20 Restrictions on missionary proselytizing in Mongolia
12:35 Called to serve as a mission president at the age of 35/meeting with President Russell M. Nelson
17:00 Previous experience/inexperience in callings in the church previous to being a mission president
18:00 Experience in Mongolia as mission president
21:00 Use of church handbook in leadership
23:30 Using church handbook to train leaders
30:00 Welfare assistance in Mongolia
32:00 Advice to implementing church self-reliance program
35:15 Secret to missionary work
40:00 Importance of scripture study
45:00 Preparation for zone conference
51:00 Advice for leaders in growing areas of the church
53:30 Elder Rasband's visit to Mongolia
55:00 Focusing on individuals/ minister first and the administration and procedure aid in your endeavors
58:30 Advice to those preparing to serve missions- D&C 11 & chapter 2 and 3 of Preach my Gospel]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:04:01
Leading with Trust | An Interview with Stephen M. R. Covey https://leadingsaints.org/leading-with-trust-an-interview-with-stephen-m-r-covey/ Sun, 10 Jun 2018 07:00:08 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=41887 Steven M. R. Covey is the son of Steven R. Covey of “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” and co-founder of Covey Link and the Franklin Covey Global Speed of Trust practice. He is a highly sought-after and compelling keynote speaker and advisor on trust, ethics, sales, and high performance, and speaks to audiences around the world. He is also the New York Times and #1 Wall Street Journal best-selling author of “The Speed of Trust", which teaches 13 Behaviors of High Trust Leaders. This is a groundbreaking, paradigm-shifting book that challenges the assumption that trust is merely a soft social virtue, demonstrating that it is instead a hard-edge economic driver. Trust is a learnable skill that makes organizations more profitable, people more promotable and relationships more energizing. Highlights 3:19 What it was like growing up in the Covey home and how the principles his father was teaching in the marketplace were first taught in the home. Things like “green & clean”, “listen first”. The principles in the book were for the marketplace but were started at home with his family. They were the guinea pigs of “7 habits”. 4:40 How he started on the business side but shifted career path to current leadership roles 5:20 Not one thing that lead to “trust” as his focus, but many different things that lead to that. There is a high cost to low trust Trust is learnable Trust is not just a good thing, and social thing but it is a multiplier and key to leadership. All things are better with trust. Trust and love are critical, you can love and not trust but it is best to have both. It is better to be trusted than loved. (David O McKay) Love is critical. It applies to everything, business, church, marriage, every level of human interaction. 10:40 “Fish are the last ones to discover water.” How to determine amount of trust when we are called to a position. We need to be intentional, not just use position power, but rely on credibility, influence, trust. Seek best interest of others. 12:50 Positions may not come with trust. Description of low trust tax, that may confer to us from prior leaders, as well as low trust dividend. 14:00 Trust is built through our credibility and behavior: Credibility: character trust (integrity, intent, care, more about others well-being, showing we care) and competence trust (current, learning, performance, do what we say) Behavior – how we do whatever we do, we want to model behavior that builds trust We want leaders that care, and are very competent as well. We don’t have to be perfect, we have to be willing 23:00 We need to look in the mirror and see how we are doing with trust. 24:10 How do we help those who have a deficit of trust – first look inward. How do I focus on my credibility, my confidence? Declare intent – what you are doing and why. Extend trust to others, people will return the trust. There is a risk. We are good at understanding trustworthiness, but not always good at understanding the importance of extending trust – trust others. The quickest way to make someone trustworthy, is to extend trust to them. 28:50 Don’t treat people according to their behavior, treat them according to their potential. They will rise to that trust. 29:30 Behaviors that build trust: Extend Trust – make sure they know you “trust” them to fulfill their calling Clarify Expectations Practice Accountability 33:45 “To be trusted in the most inspiring form of human motivation”. It brings out the best in people. Less micro-management and better trust returned to you. 34:45 Our positions/hierarchy type leadership need to be changed to a leadership of trust & inspire. If we trust people, they will perform better 37:30 Two more behaviors identified: Council – should be collaborative -- listen first, try to understand, and reflect that you are trying to understand. Not judging, not agreeing, not disagreeing, just listening. Steven M. R. Covey is the son of Steven R. Covey of “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” and co-founder of Covey Link and the Franklin Covey Global Speed of Trust practice. He is a highly sought-after and compelling keynote speaker and advisor on trus... Highlights
3:19 What it was like growing up in the Covey home and how the principles his father was teaching in the marketplace were first taught in the home. Things like “green & clean”, “listen first”. The principles in the book were for the marketplace but were started at home with his family. They were the guinea pigs of “7 habits”.

4:40 How he started on the business side but shifted career path to current leadership roles

5:20 Not one thing that lead to “trust” as his focus, but many different things that lead to that.

* There is a high cost to low trust
* Trust is learnable
* Trust is not just a good thing, and social thing but it is a multiplier and key to leadership. All things are better with trust.
* Trust and love are critical, you can love and not trust but it is best to have both. It is better to be trusted than loved. (David O McKay) Love is critical.
* It applies to everything, business, church, marriage, every level of human interaction.

10:40 “Fish are the last ones to discover water.” How to determine amount of trust when we are called to a position. We need to be intentional, not just use position power, but rely on credibility, influence, trust. Seek best interest of others.

12:50 Positions may not come with trust. Description of low trust tax, that may confer to us from prior leaders, as well as low trust dividend.

14:00 Trust is built through our credibility and behavior:

* Credibility: character trust (integrity, intent, care, more about others well-being, showing we care) and competence trust (current, learning, performance, do what we say)
* Behavior – how we do whatever we do, we want to model behavior that builds trust
* We want leaders that care, and are very competent as well. We don’t have to be perfect, we have to be willing

23:00 We need to look in the mirror and see how we are doing with trust.

24:10 How do we help those who have a deficit of trust – first look inward. How do I focus on my credibility, my confidence?

* Declare intent – what you are doing and why.
* Extend trust to others, people will return the trust. There is a risk. We are good at understanding trustworthiness, but not always good at understanding the importance of extending trust – trust others.
* The quickest way to make someone trustworthy, is to extend trust to them.

28:50 Don’t treat people according to their behavior, treat them according to their potential. They will rise to that trust.

29:30 Behaviors that build trust:

* Extend Trust – make sure they know you “trust” them to fulfill their calling
* Clarify Expectations
* Practice Accountability

33:45 “To be trusted in the most inspiring form of human motivation”. It brings out the best in people. Less micro-management and better trust returned to you.

34:45 Our positions/hierarchy type leadership need to be changed to a leadership of trust & i...]]>
Leading Saints clean 49:55
When the Bishop is Too Nice | An Interview with Dr. Robert Glover https://leadingsaints.org/when-the-bishop-is-too-nice-an-interview-with-dr-robert-glover/ Tue, 05 Jun 2018 11:14:09 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=41902 Raised in Seattle and presently living in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, Dr. Glover is a psychotherapist, author, former minister and recovering “Mr. Nice Guy.” He is a frequent talk-show guest who has been featured in various publications and is the author of No More Mr. Nice Guy. In this podcast, he describes the pitfalls sometimes associated with men trying to be Mr. Nice Guy. Highlights 4:45 Dr. Glover’s experience working with LDS men 6:20 How co-dependence relates to Mr. Nice Guy syndrome 8:50 Three characteristics/covert contracts of Mr. Nice Guy: (1) If I’m a good guy I’ll be liked and loved—my value comes from external sources; (2) If I meet other people’s needs without them asking they’ll meet my needs without my having to ask; (3) If I do everything right I will have a problem-free life. 15:00 How to determine if you are a Mr. Nice Guy. Nice-guy behaviors in marriage and at work. 17:08 Root causes of Nice Guy syndrome in boys and men, and the development of survival mechanisms. 22:30 Organizational and family culture impacts leading to Mr. Nice Guy. “Emotional fusion.” Truly accepting a belief system versus merely following rules. 27:55 How can youth leaders teach correct principles and value systems without seemingly asking for compliance with rules for the mere sake of compliance? Authoritarianism versus making allowance for pushback or inquiry. 32:20 What can a bishop do if he perceives someone is suffering from Nice-Guy syndrome? Connecting with other imperfect people. Teaching the value of growth people achieve by coping with challenges. 38:15 Nice guys becoming chameleons can be detrimental to being true to one’s self. Can the syndrome lead to interest in porn or other addictions? 44:06 The title of the book No More Mr. Nice Guy is not intended to suggest men should not be nice. They should be nice but need to know when to say “no,” while saying “yes” to the most important things, including family. Looking to the example of Christ. 53:25 Conclusion Links Dr. Glover's Website Buy Dr. Glover's Book No More Mr. Nice Guy Self-Assessment Raised in Seattle and presently living in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, Dr. Glover is a psychotherapist, author, former minister and recovering “Mr. Nice Guy.” He is a frequent talk-show guest who has been featured in various publications and is the author ... No More Mr. Nice Guy. In this podcast, he describes the pitfalls sometimes associated with men trying to be Mr. Nice Guy.
Highlights
4:45 Dr. Glover’s experience working with LDS men
6:20 How co-dependence relates to Mr. Nice Guy syndrome
8:50 Three characteristics/covert contracts of Mr. Nice Guy: (1) If I’m a good guy I’ll be liked and loved—my value comes from external sources; (2) If I meet other people’s needs without them asking they’ll meet my needs without my having to ask; (3) If I do everything right I will have a problem-free life.
15:00 How to determine if you are a Mr. Nice Guy. Nice-guy behaviors in marriage and at work.
17:08 Root causes of Nice Guy syndrome in boys and men, and the development of survival mechanisms.
22:30 Organizational and family culture impacts leading to Mr. Nice Guy. “Emotional fusion.” Truly accepting a belief system versus merely following rules.
27:55 How can youth leaders teach correct principles and value systems without seemingly asking for compliance with rules for the mere sake of compliance? Authoritarianism versus making allowance for pushback or inquiry.
32:20 What can a bishop do if he perceives someone is suffering from Nice-Guy syndrome? Connecting with other imperfect people. Teaching the value of growth people achieve by coping with challenges.
38:15 Nice guys becoming chameleons can be detrimental to being true to one’s self. Can the syndrome lead to interest in porn or other addictions?
44:06 The title of the book No More Mr. Nice Guy is not intended to suggest men should not be nice. They should be nice but need to know when to say “no,” while saying “yes” to the most important things, including family. Looking to the example of Christ.
53:25 Conclusion
Links
Dr. Glover's Website
Buy Dr. Glover's Book
No More Mr. Nice Guy Self-Assessment]]>
Leading Saints clean 55:26
How I Lead as @ldsbishop | An Interview with Ross Trewhella https://leadingsaints.org/how-i-lead-as-ldsbishop-an-interview-with-ross-trewhella-2/ Sun, 27 May 2018 11:30:38 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=41872 Ross Trewhella has served as bishop of the Redruth ward in the Plymouth, England stake for nine years. He is from Cornwall, England, and joined the LDS Church while living in Utah. Ross is best known online as @ldsbishop on Twitter, where he offers up humorous insights into the role as part of the #twitterstake. Highlights 03:05 @ldsbishop and being a bishop for 9 years 10:35 The church in his area of the UK; going to the temple 14:05 His conversion story 21:55 Called as ward executive secretary: serving in a Christ-like manner firms up your testimony 23:40 Called as a counselor in the bishopric and then as bishop 27:20 Being bishop to the previous bishop, and characteristics of his ward 29:45 Ministering: Being good at looking after each other 31:05 Minimizing meetings and using technology to communicate as a bishopric 33:55 Ward service efforts for shelters, homeless charity, and food bank 35:25 Leadership principle #1: Keep a sense of humor 38:10 Leadership principle #2: Have skin as thick as a rhino 41:25 Leadership principle #3: Don’t procrastinate 43:45 Leadership principle #4: Listen more than you speak 47:30 Leadership principle #5: Let people serve and forgive them when they mess up 51:05 Managing callings and giving autonomy 53:45 Being open to different opinions and transcending culture and categories 1:03:45 Seeing people as Christ sees them Links @ldsbishop on Twitter #twitterstake on Twitter Signal app Ross Trewhella has served as bishop of the Redruth ward in the Plymouth, England stake for nine years. He is from Cornwall, England, and joined the LDS Church while living in Utah. Ross is best known online as @ldsbishop on Twitter, @ldsbishop on Twitter, where he offers up humorous insights into the role as part of the #twitterstake.
Highlights
03:05 @ldsbishop and being a bishop for 9 years
10:35 The church in his area of the UK; going to the temple
14:05 His conversion story
21:55 Called as ward executive secretary: serving in a Christ-like manner firms up your testimony
23:40 Called as a counselor in the bishopric and then as bishop
27:20 Being bishop to the previous bishop, and characteristics of his ward
29:45 Ministering: Being good at looking after each other
31:05 Minimizing meetings and using technology to communicate as a bishopric
33:55 Ward service efforts for shelters, homeless charity, and food bank
35:25 Leadership principle #1: Keep a sense of humor
38:10 Leadership principle #2: Have skin as thick as a rhino
41:25 Leadership principle #3: Don’t procrastinate
43:45 Leadership principle #4: Listen more than you speak
47:30 Leadership principle #5: Let people serve and forgive them when they mess up
51:05 Managing callings and giving autonomy
53:45 Being open to different opinions and transcending culture and categories
1:03:45 Seeing people as Christ sees them
Links
@ldsbishop on Twitter
#twitterstake on Twitter
Signal app]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:04:23
Creating Effective, Engaging, and Enjoyable LDS Leadership Meetings | An Interview with Mamie Kanfer Stewart https://leadingsaints.org/creating-effective-engaging-and-enjoyable-meetings-an-interview-with-mamie-kanfer-stewart/ Sun, 20 May 2018 07:11:56 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=41774 Mamie Kanfer Stewart founded her first business at the age of 12 and her entrepreneurial spirit combined with the desire to optimize how people work led Mamie to build Meeteor, whose mission is to enable individuals and teams to thrive at work, with a special emphasis on effective meetings. Mamie is a dynamic speaker and has presented at numerous events and been interviewed on a variety of podcasts. She has been featured in Forbes, Inc, Business Collective, and PCMag, and writes about productivity, healthy team culture, and meeting best practices. She is also a nationally syndicated columnist and national media personality and the author of “Momentum: Creating Effective, Engaging and Enjoyable Meetings”. Highlights (8:30) Common meeting challenges #1: Meetings that don’t have a clear purpose “I don’t know why we’re having this meeting” and “I don’t know why I’m at this meeting” (11:35) How to create a clear purpose Create a desired outcome – “I want the outcome of this meeting to be….” Detailed agenda helps to see if meeting is leading to desired outcome (agenda is created from desired outcome) (19:20) At beginning of the meeting or subsection of meeting, state the desired outcome (22:30) Six kinds of meeting types: Make a decision Create a plan Generate ideas Align people’s understanding (different than sharing information) Connect (building relationships) Produce (24:25) Common Meeting Challenges #2: How meetings end and what happens after Record of the decisions made and next steps (stated and written) Make record easy for everyone to access (34:00) Meetings are a cycle Decisions and next steps coming out of one meeting may become part of the desired outcome of the next meeting Helps people get out of the mindset that meetings are discrete isolated events (37:15) Importance of reviewing and revisiting meeting notes (42:00) Engaging meeting participants as a meeting leader (45:00) Best practices for avoiding meetings that should be emails Could this outcome be achieved by another form of collaboration? (50:00) Creating space in a meeting for private reflection time (51:00) “Norms” – ground rules or expectations for how the conversation/meeting is going to be run Links Momentum: Creating Effective, Engaging, and Enjoyable Meetings, by Mamie Kanfer Stewart Successful Meetings Start with Why Advance Your Meeting Conversation with Norms 5 Practices to Make Every Meeting Matter www.mamieks.com On Twitter at: @mamieks www.meeteor.com 7 Unbreakable Rules of Church Meetings, by Leading Saints Mamie Kanfer Stewart founded her first business at the age of 12 and her entrepreneurial spirit combined with the desire to optimize how people work led Mamie to build Meeteor, whose mission is to enable individuals and teams to thrive at work, Mamie is a dynamic speaker and has presented at numerous events and been interviewed on a variety of podcasts. She has been featured in Forbes, Inc, Business Collective, and PCMag, and writes about productivity, healthy team culture, and meeting best practices. She is also a nationally syndicated columnist and national media personality and the author of “Momentum: Creating Effective, Engaging and Enjoyable Meetings”.
Highlights
(8:30) Common meeting challenges #1: Meetings that don’t have a clear purpose


* “I don’t know why we’re having this meeting” and “I don’t know why I’m at this meeting”
* (11:35) How to create a clear purpose

* Create a desired outcome – “I want the outcome of this meeting to be….”
* Detailed agenda helps to see if meeting is leading to desired outcome (agenda is created from desired outcome)
* (19:20) At beginning of the meeting or subsection of meeting, state the desired outcome



(22:30) Six kinds of meeting types:


* Make a decision
* Create a plan
* Generate ideas
* Align people’s understanding (different than sharing information)
* Connect (building relationships)
* Produce

(24:25) Common Meeting Challenges #2: How meetings end and what happens after


* Record of the decisions made and next steps (stated and written)
* Make record easy for everyone to access
* (34:00) Meetings are a cycle

* Decisions and next steps coming out of one meeting may become part of the desired outcome of the next meeting
* Helps people get out of the mindset that meetings are discrete isolated events
* (37:15) Importance of reviewing and revisiting meeting notes



(42:00) Engaging meeting participants as a meeting leader
(45:00) Best practices for avoiding meetings that should be emails


* Could this outcome be achieved by another form of collaboration?

(50:00) Creating space in a meeting for private reflection time
(51:00) “Norms” – ground rules or expectations for how the conversation/meeting is going to be run

Links
Momentum: Creating Effective, Engaging, and Enjoyable Meetings, by Mamie Kanfer Stewart
Successful Meetings Start with Why
Advance Your Meeting Conversation with Norms
5 Practices to Make Every Meeting Matter
www.mamieks.com
On Twitter at: @mamieks
www.meeteor.com
7 Unbreakable Rules of Church Meetings, by Leading Saints]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:01:12
Build an A-Team in Your Calling | An Interview with Whitney Johnson https://leadingsaints.org/build-an-a-team-in-your-calling-an-interview-with-whitney-johnson/ Sun, 13 May 2018 06:18:21 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=41753 Whitney Johnson is an expert on disruptive innovation and personal disruption, recognized as one of the 50 leading business thinkers in the world. She is a writer, speaker, consultant and coach on innovation initiatives for leaders. Her book, “Build an ‘A’ Team: Play to Their Strengths and Lead Them Up the Learning Curve” is the leadership handbook to accompany her previous book, “Disrupt Yourself: Putting the Power of Disruptive Innovation to Work”. Whitney served a mission in Uruguay and currently serves as a Laurel adviser. She and her husband live in Massachusetts and have two children. Highlights 06:20 Background of the book, “Build an ‘A’ Team” 07:30 It’s people who disrupt, not organizations, and when people are learning something new they are innovative and drive disruption innovation within their organization 08:20 Protesters who demand change vs. people who drive change 11:00 Being a leader means having humility and allowing others to have their own revelation 12:50 Applying the S curve to learning in church callings 18:00 The importance of engagement 22:50 Personal engagement fatigue and church callings 24:30 Comparing where we are today to our past 26:00 Is the life of someone we serve better because of what we have done? 28:15 Repetition and change 29:00 Changing the job description to what is needed now 31:30 Choosing leaders by who they are on the inside, choosing people for potential and what really needs to be done 35:30 The learning curves of people in a calling Links Previous Leading Saints interview with Whitney: Disrupting Your Calling WhitneyJohnson.com Whitney's books: Build an “A” Team: Play to Their Strengths and Lead Them Up the Learning Curve Disrupt Yourself: Putting the Power of Disruptive Innovation to Work Dare, Dream, Do: Remarkable Things Happen when you Dare to Dream Whitney Johnson is an expert on disruptive innovation and personal disruption, recognized as one of the 50 leading business thinkers in the world. She is a writer, speaker, consultant and coach on innovation initiatives for leaders. Her book, Highlights
06:20 Background of the book, “Build an ‘A’ Team”
07:30 It’s people who disrupt, not organizations, and when people are learning something new they are innovative and drive disruption innovation within their organization
08:20 Protesters who demand change vs. people who drive change
11:00 Being a leader means having humility and allowing others to have their own revelation
12:50 Applying the S curve to learning in church callings
18:00 The importance of engagement
22:50 Personal engagement fatigue and church callings
24:30 Comparing where we are today to our past
26:00 Is the life of someone we serve better because of what we have done?
28:15 Repetition and change
29:00 Changing the job description to what is needed now
31:30 Choosing leaders by who they are on the inside, choosing people for potential and what really needs to be done
35:30 The learning curves of people in a calling
Links
Previous Leading Saints interview with Whitney: Disrupting Your Calling
WhitneyJohnson.com
Whitney's books:
Build an “A” Team: Play to Their Strengths and Lead Them Up the Learning Curve
Disrupt Yourself: Putting the Power of Disruptive Innovation to Work
Dare, Dream, Do: Remarkable Things Happen when you Dare to Dream]]>
Leading Saints clean 42:16
Supporting Divorced Members in the LDS Church | An Interview With Cydney Hatch https://leadingsaints.org/supporting-divorced-members-in-the-lds-church-an-interview-with-cydney-hatch/ Thu, 10 May 2018 23:44:40 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=41247 Cydney Afton Hatch is a polka-dot-wearing business owner, photographer, cupcake enthusiast and recently-turned writer, who through her work shares her personal experience with divorce and encourages others to rebuild their lives, redefine their relationship with God, and find peace. As a lifelong member of the church and always having a gift for finding and creating beauty, her biggest challenge was finding beauty in the aftermath of her divorce. Through her faith in Christ, she has found that even in the challenges of life there is beauty in the struggle. Turning to faith with patience, many tears, a big dose of laughter, and creativity, Cydney embraced her unexpected life and found beauty even in her struggles. Raised in the nation’s capital of Washington D.C., Cydney owns Afton Photography where her work has been featured in major publications including Cosmopolitan, The Hill, The Washington Post, and Minted. She received a bachelors of History from Brigham Young University-Idaho, has worked with the Boys & Girls Clubs of America, and currently works for Disruptive Advertising. She resides in Utah. Episode Highlights 4:15 Married in 2011 & divorced after 3 years 6:45 Peace about letting go of her marriage 7:30 How she sought help for her marriage 8:00 Going to see the bishop Talk about it—there needs to be more discussion in the church about divorce 12:45 Cydney’s decision to go to the bishop 17:00 The need for resources for single parenting & divorce in the church 22:15 What resources can help someone who is divorced feel love & stay active in the church 24:00 Divorce members need to be involved 26:00 The grieving process of divorce 31:45 Rock bottom is from where we rebuild 34:00 How bishops can help through & after divorce 38:30 Normalizing divorce in the church 40:00 How to include divorced members 43:30 Cydney’s journey since her divorce 45:15 How can a YSA bishop encourage a divorced member Links When Eternity is Not Forever wheneternityisnotforever.com Instagram: @wheneternityisnotforever Twitter: @WhenEternity Facebook: When Eternity is Not Forever Cydney Afton Hatch is a polka-dot-wearing business owner, photographer, cupcake enthusiast and recently-turned writer, who through her work shares her personal experience with divorce and encourages others to rebuild their lives,
As a lifelong member of the church and always having a gift for finding and creating beauty, her biggest challenge was finding beauty in the aftermath of her divorce.
Through her faith in Christ, she has found that even in the challenges of life there is beauty in the struggle. Turning to faith with patience, many tears, a big dose of laughter, and creativity, Cydney embraced her unexpected life and found beauty even in her struggles.

Raised in the nation’s capital of Washington D.C., Cydney owns Afton Photography where her work has been featured in major publications including Cosmopolitan, The Hill, The Washington Post, and Minted.
She received a bachelors of History from Brigham Young University-Idaho, has worked with the Boys & Girls Clubs of America, and currently works for Disruptive Advertising.
She resides in Utah.
Episode Highlights
4:15 Married in 2011 & divorced after 3 years
6:45 Peace about letting go of her marriage
7:30 How she sought help for her marriage
8:00 Going to see the bishop
Talk about it—there needs to be more discussion in the church about divorce
12:45 Cydney’s decision to go to the bishop
17:00 The need for resources for single parenting & divorce in the church
22:15 What resources can help someone who is divorced feel love & stay active in the church
24:00 Divorce members need to be involved
26:00 The grieving process of divorce
31:45 Rock bottom is from where we rebuild
34:00 How bishops can help through & after divorce
38:30 Normalizing divorce in the church
40:00 How to include divorced members
43:30 Cydney’s journey since her divorce
45:15 How can a YSA bishop encourage a divorced member
Links
When Eternity is Not Forever
wheneternityisnotforever.com
Instagram: @wheneternityisnotforever
Twitter: @WhenEternity
Facebook: When Eternity is Not Forever]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:00:00
How I Lead in Turkey | An Interview with Murat Cakir https://leadingsaints.org/murat-cakir/ Sun, 06 May 2018 08:00:42 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=41416 Murat Chakir is a pioneer for the LDS Church in his native country, Turkey. He joined the church while studying in Norway, served a mission to Arizona, completed his education at Brigham Young University, and then returned to Turkey where he served as branch president. He currently serves in the mission presidency of the Central Eurasian Mission, which includes Azerbaijan, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan, Turkey, and Uzbekistan. Episode Highlights 4:55 Personal faith development before joining the church 10:00 School in Norway and discovery of Jesus Christ as more than a prophet 14:30 Meeting the LDS missionaries 16:00 Gaining a testimony of Jesus Christ as a truth-seeker from a Muslim background 18:20 Experiencing the Spirit through the missionaries 19:20 Joining the LDS Church 21:40 Gaining a testimony of a living prophet 23:20 Choosing to go on a mission 24:45 Mission to Arizona and resolution of passport issues 31:30 Working on Book of Mormon translation while at BYU 33:30 Joseph Smith translating the Book of Mormon compared to translating it into Turkish 35:00 Discovery of 1903 translation by Armenian missionaries; no animosity between nations within the gospel 39:50 Creating the Turkish name for the church 43:40 Return to Turkey and building the church there, from Babylon Street to Dove Street 47:30 Dedication of building by Elder Christofferson 48:25 Experiences as a branch president in a developing area with great challenges, and creation of website that brought in referrals 53:50 Muslim perspective of Christians in Turkey 54:35 Elder Holland quote about his experience dedicating Turkey 56:15 Growth of the church in Turkey 57:15 Attending the temple from Turkey 58:05 Continuing goals and efforts to reach truth-seekers and grow the church 59:50 Being part of a mission presidency over a large area with few members 1:02:00 Suggestions for struggling branch presidents: minister like Christ did 1:04:10 Using technology to create missionary experiences and conversions 1:07:50 We need to be out and listening to the people 1:08:25 Pray for the saints in Turkey, where ancient saints lived Links http://www.mormonum.org/ Murat Chakir is a pioneer for the LDS Church in his native country, Turkey. He joined the church while studying in Norway, served a mission to Arizona, completed his education at Brigham Young University, and then returned to Turkey where he served as ... Episode Highlights
4:55 Personal faith development before joining the church
10:00 School in Norway and discovery of Jesus Christ as more than a prophet
14:30 Meeting the LDS missionaries
16:00 Gaining a testimony of Jesus Christ as a truth-seeker from a Muslim background
18:20 Experiencing the Spirit through the missionaries
19:20 Joining the LDS Church
21:40 Gaining a testimony of a living prophet
23:20 Choosing to go on a mission
24:45 Mission to Arizona and resolution of passport issues
31:30 Working on Book of Mormon translation while at BYU
33:30 Joseph Smith translating the Book of Mormon compared to translating it into Turkish
35:00 Discovery of 1903 translation by Armenian missionaries; no animosity between nations within the gospel
39:50 Creating the Turkish name for the church
43:40 Return to Turkey and building the church there, from Babylon Street to Dove Street
47:30 Dedication of building by Elder Christofferson
48:25 Experiences as a branch president in a developing area with great challenges, and creation of website that brought in referrals
53:50 Muslim perspective of Christians in Turkey
54:35 Elder Holland quote about his experience dedicating Turkey
56:15 Growth of the church in Turkey
57:15 Attending the temple from Turkey
58:05 Continuing goals and efforts to reach truth-seekers and grow the church
59:50 Being part of a mission presidency over a large area with few members
1:02:00 Suggestions for struggling branch presidents: minister like Christ did
1:04:10 Using technology to create missionary experiences and conversions
1:07:50 We need to be out and listening to the people
1:08:25 Pray for the saints in Turkey, where ancient saints lived
Links
http://www.mormonum.org/]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:12:07
Creating Engagement Through Ministering Interviews | An Interview with DeAnna Murphy https://leadingsaints.org/creating-engagement-through-ministering-interviews-an-interview-with-deanna-murphy/ Wed, 25 Apr 2018 06:06:26 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=41268 DeAnna Murphy is a leadership consultant, coach, facilitator, and speaker, and the founder/CEO of Strengths Strategy Inc. and its affiliate, People Acuity, where she consults businesses, coaches, and individuals. She was born in Provo, Utah, but grew up in Canada, and met her husband at Ricks College. They had three children and live in Minneapolis, Minnesota, where she has served as Stake Relief Society President. Highlights 5:25 How do we help ourselves and others stay fully engaged? 7:35 How can you understand your auxiliaries strength? 8:10 How can we apply engagement at home? 8:35 To be meaningfully engaged there must be a sense of connection, and an ability to understand your contribution and purpose alignment. 12:00 Understand your role/purpose 12:45 What is the bigger “why”? 14:00 Doctrine and Covenants 43:8,9 The Lord teaches Joseph Smith by council 15:20 Ask good questions/teach by council 19:30 Get correct counsel on core principles. 22:20 To feel alignment while teaching ask: What did you notice about that? What's important about that? What does that mean? What will you do? (How would you apply that?) Has anyone had an experience like that? 24:15 John 17- Why does He want us to be one so badly? That my joy might be fulfilled in you. 28:35 Which of these points in the lesson are important to Heavenly Father? 30:45 The council creates interdependence. 32:20 There is no engagement from a talking head. 33:20 Co-dependence is the primary voice of us vs. them. 34:15 There should not a be a “you people” in our church culture. 36:20 Our value does not go up and down like the stock market. 38:15 When people begin to see their value through the lens of strength they see God's DNA in them. 39:00 We need to understand our identity, but have lost it 41:50 If I'm not judging myself, I feel connected to other people and to God 42:10 Four categories of strengths Strategic Thinking Executing Relationship driven —Influencers —Relationship-builders 50:30 We are drawn to those like us because they validate us, and afraid of those who are unlike us because we do not understand them. 53:45 We disengage when our needs are not being met. 54:30 What does my patriarchal blessing show me about my strengths? 57:40 What can you count on me for? What do I need to feel confident? 59:00 The power of one-on-one ministering 1:00:00 During one-on-one interviews, pull up an extra chair for the Savior to sit with you as you minister 1:00:50 Be okay with no knowing, and always pray with them. 1:01:25 During the interviews ask them: How are you doing? What are you learning from the Spirit in your personal study? What are you learning in your assignment? These questions create connection. 1:05:00 Finally, ask tell me about the people that you are serving and what do they need? 1:06:15 Everyone is a "one" and there is great power in ministering and one-on-one interviews. 1"06:55 Ask your children—even grown children—what the Spirit is teaching them. 1:09:00 Experience with a group in Abu Dhabi learning six strengths strategies. 1:16:45 Read Moses 1:6 with your name instead of Moses: He will magnify your gifts through Him Links Print version of Shift Up!: Strengths Strategies for Optimal Living Ebook version of Shift Up!: Strengths Strategies for Optimal Living PeopleAcuity.com DeAnna's How I Lead interview: Mentoring Relief Society Presidents Through Love Claiming Your Contribution (for missionaries) Gallup StrengthsFinder (CliftonStrengths Assessment) DeAnna Murphy is a leadership consultant, coach, facilitator, and speaker, and the founder/CEO of Strengths Strategy Inc. and its affiliate, People Acuity, where she consults businesses, coaches, and individuals. She was born in Provo, Utah, Highlights
5:25 How do we help ourselves and others stay fully engaged?
7:35 How can you understand your auxiliaries strength?
8:10 How can we apply engagement at home?
8:35 To be meaningfully engaged there must be a sense of connection, and an ability to understand your contribution and purpose alignment.
12:00 Understand your role/purpose
12:45 What is the bigger “why”?
14:00 Doctrine and Covenants 43:8,9 The Lord teaches Joseph Smith by council
15:20 Ask good questions/teach by council
19:30 Get correct counsel on core principles.
22:20 To feel alignment while teaching ask:
What did you notice about that?
What's important about that?
What does that mean?
What will you do? (How would you apply that?)
Has anyone had an experience like that?
24:15 John 17- Why does He want us to be one so badly? That my joy might be fulfilled in you.
28:35 Which of these points in the lesson are important to Heavenly Father?
30:45 The council creates interdependence.
32:20 There is no engagement from a talking head.
33:20 Co-dependence is the primary voice of us vs. them.
34:15 There should not a be a “you people” in our church culture.
36:20 Our value does not go up and down like the stock market.
38:15 When people begin to see their value through the lens of strength they see God's DNA in them.
39:00 We need to understand our identity, but have lost it
41:50 If I'm not judging myself, I feel connected to other people and to God
42:10 Four categories of strengths
Strategic Thinking
Executing
Relationship driven
—Influencers
—Relationship-builders
50:30 We are drawn to those like us because they validate us, and afraid of those who are unlike us because we do not understand them.
53:45 We disengage when our needs are not being met.
54:30 What does my patriarchal blessing show me about my strengths?
57:40 What can you count on me for? What do I need to feel confident?
59:00 The power of one-on-one ministering
1:00:00 During one-on-one interviews, pull up an extra chair for the Savior to sit with you as you minister
1:00:50 Be okay with no knowing, and always pray with them.
1:01:25 During the interviews ask them: How are you doing? What are you learning from the Spirit in your personal study? What are you learning in your assignment? These questions create connection.
1:05:00 Finally, ask tell me about the people that you are serving and what do they need?
1:06:15 Everyone is a "one" and there is great power in ministering and one-on-one interviews.
1"06:55 Ask your children—even grown children—what the Spirit is teaching them.
1:09:00 Experience with a group in Abu Dhabi learning six strengths strategies.
1:16:45 Read Moses 1:6 with your name instead of Moses: He will magnify your gifts through Him
Links
Print version of Shift Up!: Strengths Strategies for Optimal Living
Ebook version of Shift Up!: Strengths Strategies for Optimal Living
PeopleAcuity.com
DeAnna's How I Lead interview: https://leadingsaints.org/?p=41121 Born in Brazil and raised in Utah, David Neeleman is an entrepreneur who has founded or co-founded five commercial airlines: Morris Air, WestJet, JetBlue, Azul Brazilian Airlines and TAP Air Portugal. Morris Air was acquired by Southwest Air in 1993. David served a mission in Brazil as a young adult and speaks Portuguese. He and his wife have ten children, including one they adopted in recent years. The Neelemans have 18 grandchildren. David was featured in The Mormon Way of Doing Business and in Flying High. Episode Highlights 1:00: Undistinguished academic background in high school and University of Utah. Has ADD. Served LDS mission during period of explosive church growth in Brazil in the late 1970’s. Sold Morris Air to Southwest when he was 33 years of age. Wanted to remain passionately involved in something of value and not simply be an investor. Highlights of his involvement with the airlines referenced above. 5:40: Impact of serving a mission and the necessity of faith combined with works. Witnessed the area of Brazil where he served grow from five branches to five stakes in a very short time. 7:18: Father of a large family. Advice he gives his kids as they go to serve missions: lose yourself, don’t think about home excessively and love the people. 9:20: Missionary success began to shape his life. Invented e-ticket travel and in-home reservations by people who are working from home. Is wired to see things differently and attempt what no one else has done before without being discouraged by naysayers. Being entrepreneurial requires making sacrifices. 12:48: ADD discussed, including the fact that children in same family can be very different from one another. Proper encouragement is needed. Some great business leaders have suffered from ADD. Street wisdom about A, B, C and D students. 15:58: How the egalitarian structure of the Church has affected his business approach to dealing with employees and providing customer service. His thoughts about executive lunch rooms and parking spaces. Impact of satisfied employees on customer base. Discussion about pleasing employees vs shareholders. 21:00: Establishing a healthy culture by leadership style in Church organizations. Helping people feel fulfilled and loved, not guilty. Prayerful thought is required. 22:40: Establishing and leading by values. JetBlue’s values. Breaking the china when necessary. 25:45: Serving as ward mission leader for about eight years in New Cambridge, CT. 26:25: More on vision and values—what would Jesus do in setting the tone in Church organizations. Church service a respite from the “belly of the beast” all week long. Keeping values at the forefront. 29:00: Making time for family, not golf. LDS leavening influenced is needed in the world. People respond to leadership that is inspired by gospel principles even if it’s not presented as such. 33:00: David’s preferences for books, especially books about world progress and development more than books about leadership. Some favorites, other than religious, are: Outliers, David and Goliath, Tipping Point, Accidental Superpower and books about founding fathers of the U.S.A. 35:20: Founding the More Good Foundation. Helping maintain a positive image for the Church. Buying URL’s so that people on search engines have positive encounters online regarding the Church. 41:22: Being a better follower of Christ by learning to know Him and gaining a testimony of the Book of Mormon. Don’t get caught up in the “noise.” The Lord needs LDS people to lead in society and business. Links The Mormon Way of Doing Business Outliers David and Goliath Tipping Point Accidental Superpower The More Good Foundation Born in Brazil and raised in Utah, David Neeleman is an entrepreneur who has founded or co-founded five commercial airlines: Morris Air, WestJet, JetBlue, Azul Brazilian Airlines and TAP Air Portugal. Morris Air was acquired by Southwest Air in 1993. The Mormon Way of Doing Business and in Flying High.
Episode Highlights
1:00: Undistinguished academic background in high school and University of Utah. Has ADD. Served LDS mission during period of explosive church growth in Brazil in the late 1970’s. Sold Morris Air to Southwest when he was 33 years of age. Wanted to remain passionately involved in something of value and not simply be an investor. Highlights of his involvement with the airlines referenced above.
5:40: Impact of serving a mission and the necessity of faith combined with works. Witnessed the area of Brazil where he served grow from five branches to five stakes in a very short time.
7:18: Father of a large family. Advice he gives his kids as they go to serve missions: lose yourself, don’t think about home excessively and love the people.
9:20: Missionary success began to shape his life. Invented e-ticket travel and in-home reservations by people who are working from home. Is wired to see things differently and attempt what no one else has done before without being discouraged by naysayers. Being entrepreneurial requires making sacrifices.
12:48: ADD discussed, including the fact that children in same family can be very different from one another. Proper encouragement is needed. Some great business leaders have suffered from ADD. Street wisdom about A, B, C and D students.
15:58: How the egalitarian structure of the Church has affected his business approach to dealing with employees and providing customer service. His thoughts about executive lunch rooms and parking spaces. Impact of satisfied employees on customer base. Discussion about pleasing employees vs shareholders.
21:00: Establishing a healthy culture by leadership style in Church organizations. Helping people feel fulfilled and loved, not guilty. Prayerful thought is required.
22:40: Establishing and leading by values. JetBlue’s values. Breaking the china when necessary.
25:45: Serving as ward mission leader for about eight years in New Cambridge, CT.
26:25: More on vision and values—what would Jesus do in setting the tone in Church organizations. Church service a respite from the “belly of the beast” all week long. Keeping values at the forefront.
29:00: Making time for family, not golf. LDS leavening influenced is needed in the world. People respond to leadership that is inspired by gospel principles even if it’s not presented as such.
33:00: David’s preferences for books, especially books about world progress and development more than books about leadership. Some favorites, other than religious, are: Outliers, David and Goliath, Tipping Point, Accidental Superpower and books about founding fathers of the U.S.A.
35:20: Founding the More Good Foundation. Helping maintain a positive image for the Church. Buying URL’s so that people on search engines have positive encounters online regarding the Church.
41:22: Being a better follower of Christ by learning to k...]]>
Leading Saints clean 44:31
Stimulating a Culture of Ministering | An Interview with Nola and Mike Patterson https://leadingsaints.org/how-i-lead-and-create-a-culture-of-ministering-an-interview-with-nola-and-mike-patterson/ Sun, 08 Apr 2018 08:00:31 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=41025 Nola & Mike Patterson have been married for more than 26 years. Originally from the Alberta, Canada area, they now make their home in Las Vegas, Nevada. Brother Patterson has served in various callings, including Young Men presidencies, as an Elders Quorum President, in bishoprics, and as a bishop. He currently serves as an early-morning seminary teacher. Sister Patterson has served as a Young Women’s President and Relief Society President, among other responsibilities. Brother and Sister Patterson have found success in their leadership responsibilities as they have focused on ministering to individuals and families not well known to the ward and creating opportunities for those individuals to participate and serve. They have also focused on finding others to assist them in these efforts, realizing that there was only so much they could do on their own. In this episode of How I Lead, Brother and Sister Patterson discuss with Kurt their approach to reaching out and helping those who need ministering to. Leadership Principle #1: Focus on Ministering (19:00) Leadership Principle #2: Be respectful of people’s time (37:45) Leadership Principle #3: Do what you can and then let go (46:40) Leadership Principle #4: Seeking out those who are under utilized (52:30) Nola & Mike Patterson have been married for more than 26 years. Originally from the Alberta, Canada area, they now make their home in Las Vegas, Nevada. Brother Patterson has served in various callings, including Young Men presidencies,
Brother and Sister Patterson have found success in their leadership responsibilities as they have focused on ministering to individuals and families not well known to the ward and creating opportunities for those individuals to participate and serve. They have also focused on finding others to assist them in these efforts, realizing that there was only so much they could do on their own.

In this episode of How I Lead, Brother and Sister Patterson discuss with Kurt their approach to reaching out and helping those who need ministering to.

Leadership Principle #1: Focus on Ministering (19:00)
Leadership Principle #2: Be respectful of people’s time (37:45)
Leadership Principle #3: Do what you can and then let go (46:40)
Leadership Principle #4: Seeking out those who are under utilized (52:30)
]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:02:10
Introverts in the LDS Church | An Interview with Adam McHugh https://leadingsaints.org/introverts-in-the-lds-church-an-interview-with-adam-mchugh/ Sun, 25 Mar 2018 07:20:27 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=40767 Interview Transcript Available Below Adam McHugh is a spiritual director, chaplain, speaker, and retreat leader. The author of Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture, he is an ordained Presbyterian minister, having earned a Masters of Divinity and Masters of Theology in Greek New Testament from Princeton Theological Seminary. He is also the author of The Listening Life: Embracing Attentiveness in a World of Distraction, and lives in Santa Barbara, California. Episode Highlights 4:30 Becoming an ordained minister 7:30 What led to writing Introverts in the Church 10:50 Explanation of introversion and extroversion 16:00 Problems that introverts experience at church 19:00 Understanding the discomfort of personal vulnerability and sharing beliefs as an expression of faith 22:00 Introverts generally prefer depth over breadth 24:00 The power of listening: experience at a hospital 30:00 Introverts and small talk 34:00 How introverts approach dealing with conflict and decisions 40:00 Silence, reverence, and the internal experience compared to active social environments 45:20 Cultural clash of introvert and extrovert leaders: overcoming stereotypes and encouraging introverts to be leaders 48:50 Reaching out to invite introverts to participate Links Adam's Website Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture The Listening Life: Embracing Attentiveness in a World of Distraction Interview Transcript LS: Today we are communicating with Adam McHugh in California. How are you, Adam? ADAM: Doing very well. How about yourself? LS: Very good. Did I say your last name correctly? ADAM: You got it. LS: All right. Very nice, very nice. Now, you are, tell us (00:04:00) a little bit about what we need about know about you. The big thing I guess on this podcast we generally have LDS or Mormons on as guests, but you are not a Mormon. So what are you? ADAM: It is true. I am an ordained Presbyterian minister. Though in truth I go to an Episcopal church. LS: Nice. ADAM: But I was ordained in the Presbyterian church about 12 years ago. LS: Nice. And so what is the, when you say you're ordained, (00:04:30) what does that mean? Does that mean you went to seminary for awhile or what does that even mean? ADAM: It means they made me jump through about a thousand hoops, is basically what that means. I went to Princeton theological seminary and that is required for ordination, not Princeton. But going to seminary, getting a master's of divinity. I also stuck around for another year and got a masters of theology and Greek New Testament as well and had to do 2 church internships and one internship at a hospital as a chaplain, was actually (00:05:00) very instrumental in my future calling. And yeah. And then I had to go to about a thousand meetings in order to get approved. LS: Wow. Wow. Intense. ADAM: It was a, I would never do it again. I'm glad I was young when I went through all that because now it sounds exhausting. LS: So does that mean, I mean, your day to day or are you some type of pastor to a church or what's your day to day job now? ADAM: I have the title now, you know, writer and speaker and retreat leader (00:05:30) is really how I identify myself and certainly connected to churches and all that. So certified spiritual director as well, but I don't have a formal preaching ministry or not working full time. LS: And is that the typical path for someone who's gone through the different education you've gone to, that they end up with, some, running some type of a church or ADAM: Usually or else, you know, working as a chaplain of some kind, which I did for a few years. But generally, you know, a Presbyterian minister is going (00:06:00) to be a minister at a particular church and you're, it's not like other denominations where you move around from church to church, you sort of stay in one place and you're hired more like a ... Interview Transcript Available Below - Adam McHugh is a spiritual director, chaplain, speaker, and retreat leader. The author of Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture, he is an ordained Presbyterian minister,
Adam McHugh is a spiritual director, chaplain, speaker, and retreat leader. The author of Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture, he is an ordained Presbyterian minister, having earned a Masters of Divinity and Masters of Theology in Greek New Testament from Princeton Theological Seminary. He is also the author of The Listening Life: Embracing Attentiveness in a World of Distraction, and lives in Santa Barbara, California.
Episode Highlights
4:30 Becoming an ordained minister
7:30 What led to writing Introverts in the Church
10:50 Explanation of introversion and extroversion
16:00 Problems that introverts experience at church
19:00 Understanding the discomfort of personal vulnerability and sharing beliefs as an expression of faith
22:00 Introverts generally prefer depth over breadth
24:00 The power of listening: experience at a hospital
30:00 Introverts and small talk
34:00 How introverts approach dealing with conflict and decisions
40:00 Silence, reverence, and the internal experience compared to active social environments
45:20 Cultural clash of introvert and extrovert leaders: overcoming stereotypes and encouraging introverts to be leaders
48:50 Reaching out to invite introverts to participate
Links

* Adam's Website
* Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture
* The Listening Life: Embracing Attentiveness in a World of Distraction

Interview Transcript
LS: Today we are communicating with Adam McHugh in California. How are you, Adam?

ADAM: Doing very well. How about yourself?

LS: Very good. Did I say your last name correctly?

ADAM: You got it.

LS: All right. Very nice, very nice. Now, you are, tell us (00:04:00) a little bit about what we need about know about you. The big thing I guess on this podcast we generally have LDS or Mormons on as guests, but you are not a Mormon. So what are you?

ADAM: It is true. I am an ordained Presbyterian minister. Though in truth I go to an Episcopal church.

LS: Nice.

ADAM: But I was ordained in the Presbyterian church about 12 years ago.

LS: Nice. And so what is the, when you say you're ordained, (00:04:30) what does that mean? Does that mean you went to seminary for awhile or what does that even mean?

ADAM: It means they made me jump through about a thousand hoops, is basically what that means. I went to Princeton theological seminary and that is required for ordination, not Princeton. But going to seminary, getting a master's of divinity. I also stuck around for another year and got a masters of theology and Greek New Testament as well and had to do 2 church internships and one internship at a hospital as a chaplain, was actually (00:05:00) very instrumental in my future calling. And yeah. And then I had to go to about a thousand meetings in order to get approved.

LS: Wow. Wow. Intense.

ADAM: It was a, I would never do it again. I'm glad I was young when I went through all that because now it sounds exhausting.

LS: So does that mean, I mean, your day to day or are you some type of pastor to a church or what's your day to day job now?

ADAM: I have the title now, you know, writer and speaker and retreat leader (00:05:30) is really how I identify myself and certainly connected to churches and...]]>
Leading Saints clean 57:15
How I Lead as Relief Society President & Businesswoman | An Interview With Gail Miller https://leadingsaints.org/how-i-lead-as-relief-society-president-businesswoman-an-interview-with-gail-miller/ Sun, 18 Mar 2018 07:44:22 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=40416 Gail Miller is the owner and chair of the board of directors of the Larry H. Miller group of companies, which includes 65 car dealerships, the Utah Jazz basketball team, Utah Bees baseball team, a chain of movie theatres, and related businesses. She is also a mother, a former Relief Society president, and the author of “Courage to Be You: Inspiring Lessons from an Unexpected Journey”. Episode Highlights 1:45 How the book came to be 6:15 Gail’s service experience as a Relief Society president 10:55 Coming back from inactivity in the church 16:40 Saying the right thing to those who are grieving 18:10 Developing yourself as the spouse of a leader 20:55 Patience as the wife of a busy entrepreneur and as a woman in the church 25:00 Making decisions as a leader 27:30 Stewardship and service Links Courage to Be You: Inspiring Lessons from an Unexpected Journey Gail Miller is the owner and chair of the board of directors of the Larry H. Miller group of companies, which includes 65 car dealerships, the Utah Jazz basketball team, Utah Bees baseball team, a chain of movie theatres, and related businesses. Episode Highlights

* 1:45 How the book came to be
* 6:15 Gail’s service experience as a Relief Society president
* 10:55 Coming back from inactivity in the church
* 16:40 Saying the right thing to those who are grieving
* 18:10 Developing yourself as the spouse of a leader
* 20:55 Patience as the wife of a busy entrepreneur and as a woman in the church
* 25:00 Making decisions as a leader
* 27:30 Stewardship and service

Links
Courage to Be You: Inspiring Lessons from an Unexpected Journey]]>
Leading Saints clean 36:53
Relationships Before Progress | A Conversation with Tom Christofferson, President David Checketts, and Bishop Bruce Larson https://leadingsaints.org/a-conversation-with-tom-christofferson-president-david-checketts-and-bishop-bruce-larson/ Sun, 11 Mar 2018 08:01:33 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=40493 Interview Transcript Available Below Tom Christofferson is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who experiences same sex attraction. He is also the brother of Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. Tom grew up in the church as a member, served a mission and married in the temple. His short marriage ended and he came out as gay and lived that lifestyle for many years. He started coming back to church with Bruce Larson as a bishop and David Checketts as his stake president. Tom's story is told in his book, That We May Be One: A Gay Mormon’s Perspective on Faith and Family. As leaders we can learn a lot from his experience of coming back to church and being rebaptized. Episode Highlights 6:30 Tom's story from the beginning 9:30 His story of excommunication 10:50 How his family wanted their love to be perfect as they accepted him 13:20 Bishop Bruce Larson's side of the story 16:00 Stake President David Checkett's side of the story 18:00 Bishop Larson and President Checketts did not know at first that he was related to Elder Christofferson 20:30 Sharing with the ward coucnil how to make feel Tom welcome 22:30 Response of the ward council 24:00 Tom was welcomed and loved unconditionally 29:00 Tom attended the ward for 5 years before wanting to come back to live the commandments 31:45 During the 5 years how Tom felt welcome in the ward 33:20 Everyone focused on the the relationship with Tom and not his progress 34:30 Study sessions with Tom and President Checketts 38:00 Meeting with Tom's partner 42:00 President Checketts meets with Elder Christofferson about Tom 45:00 Tom Christofferson's rebaptism 48:00 How this experience has helped Bishop Larson to be a better disciple of Jesus Christ 50:00 How this experience has helped President Checketts to be a better disciple of Jesus Christ Links That We May Be One: A Gay Mormon’s Perspective on Faith and Family Register for the North Star Leadership Session Interview Transcript LS: [00:02:30] Welcome back to the leading LDS podcast. My name is Kurt Francom and today I have the opportunity to be a in beautiful downtown Salt Lake City with and really, I'm across the world and we'll explain that in just a minute. But, let's start with you Tom. I'm in the home of Tom Christofferson. How are you? Tom: Very well, thank you. Thanks for joining us. LS: Yeah, well, I'm excited to, to have this opportunity. And, mainly this interview came to be as you release your book that we may be one, a gay Mormons perspective on faith and family and you've been on the interview circuit for. Tom: It's [00:03:00] been an interesting journey. LS: I bet it's been very fulfilling that to share your faith through, through this method. Tom: It has been a unique opportunity to be able to talk about my feelings about the Savior and the journey that I feel I have been led along. LS: Obviously we'll get the, the obvious things out of the way. So, your last name is Christofferson and our Elder Christofferson's brother. Tom: And he is my brother. LS: Oh, that's right. You're becoming more and more famous through this, these interviews. Tom: So, we are a family of [00:03:30] five sons. He is the oldest and I'm the youngest. LS: Nice. I'm the youngest too, so I can, I can empathize with that. That's right. That's right. And now, and we'll get into your story in the book a little bit, but also interviewed the other member or they introduce the other members that are part of the interview. So, we're going as far as Australia to talk with President David Checketts. How are you a President Checketts. Checketts: I'm doing well. LS: Good. And now you don't live in Australia? I think many people recognize your name here in Utah, but you generally live in Connecticut. Is [00:04:00] that right? Checketts: Yes. I've lived in New Canaan, Interview Transcript Available Below - Tom Christofferson is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who experiences same sex attraction. He is also the brother of Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.
Tom Christofferson is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who experiences same sex attraction. He is also the brother of Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. Tom grew up in the church as a member, served a mission and married in the temple. His short marriage ended and he came out as gay and lived that lifestyle for many years. He started coming back to church with Bruce Larson as a bishop and David Checketts as his stake president. Tom's story is told in his book, That We May Be One: A Gay Mormon’s Perspective on Faith and Family. As leaders we can learn a lot from his experience of coming back to church and being rebaptized.
Episode Highlights

* 6:30 Tom's story from the beginning
* 9:30 His story of excommunication
* 10:50 How his family wanted their love to be perfect as they accepted him
* 13:20 Bishop Bruce Larson's side of the story
* 16:00 Stake President David Checkett's side of the story
* 18:00 Bishop Larson and President Checketts did not know at first that he was related to Elder Christofferson
* 20:30 Sharing with the ward coucnil how to make feel Tom welcome
* 22:30 Response of the ward council
* 24:00 Tom was welcomed and loved unconditionally
* 29:00 Tom attended the ward for 5 years before wanting to come back to live the commandments
* 31:45 During the 5 years how Tom felt welcome in the ward
* 33:20 Everyone focused on the the relationship with Tom and not his progress
* 34:30 Study sessions with Tom and President Checketts
* 38:00 Meeting with Tom's partner
* 42:00 President Checketts meets with Elder Christofferson about Tom
* 45:00 Tom Christofferson's rebaptism
* 48:00 How this experience has helped Bishop Larson to be a better disciple of Jesus Christ
* 50:00 How this experience has helped President Checketts to be a better disciple of Jesus Christ

Links
That We May Be One: A Gay Mormon’s Perspective on Faith and Family

Register for the North Star Leadership Session


Interview Transcript
LS: [00:02:30] Welcome back to the leading LDS podcast. My name is Kurt Francom and today I have the opportunity to be a in beautiful downtown Salt Lake City with and really, I'm across the world and we'll explain that in just a minute. But, let's start with you Tom. I'm in the home of Tom Christofferson. How are you?

Tom: Very well, thank you. Thanks for joining us.

LS: Yeah, well, I'm excited to, to have this opportunity. And, mainly this interview came to be as you release your book that we may be one, a gay Mormons perspective on faith and family and you've been on the interview circuit for.

Tom: It's [00:03:00] been an interesting journey.

LS: I bet it's been very fulfilling that to share your faith through, through this method.

Tom: It has been a unique opportunity to be able to talk about my feelings about the Savior and the journey that I feel I have been led along.

LS: Obviously we'll get the, the obvious things out of the way. So, your last name is Christofferson and our Elder Christofferson's brother.

Tom: And he is my brother.

LS: Oh, that's right. You're becoming more and more famous through this, these interviews.

Tom: So, we are a family of [00:03:30] five sons. He is the oldest and I'm the youngest.

LS: Nice. I'm the youngest too, so I can, I can empathize with that. That's right. That's right. And now, and we'll get into your story in the book a little bit,]]>
Leading Saints clean 58:57
Being Prepared to Love LGBT Latter-day Saints | A Conversation With 4 Latter-day Saint Bishops https://leadingsaints.org/lgbt-issues-in-the-bishops-office/ Sun, 04 Mar 2018 08:13:07 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=40359 Interview Transcript Available Below Scott Mackintosh and his wife Becky live in Lehi, Utah and are the parents of seven children, including their son Xian, who came out as gay at age 24. Scott is currently a bishop in a YSA ward at BYU, and Becky is on the board at North Star International. Chris Staggs and his wife of 18 years live in Overland Park, Kansas  with their four sons, ages 7 through 17. He experiences same-gender attraction and began to talk about it after serving as a bishop. Travis Steward and his wife Margaret have been married 32 years and have six children and grandchildren. Travis is a former bishop, mission president (Houston, Texas), and has served in stake presidencies. He has experienced same-gender attraction throughout his life and finally began to talk about it a few years ago. In this podcast, we talk about how we can be better leaders week-to-week for the LGBT members in our wards and communities. Episode Highlights 7:30 Chris Staggs’s introduction and how he became involved with North Star through coming to terms with his same-gender attraction 12:00 Scott Mackintosh’s story of his son coming out, and how that led to a change of heart for him and a conversion to love and empathy for everyone 18:00 Travis Steward’s introduction and his experience as a man who experiences same-gender attraction but buried it for most of his life and struggled through shame and his own inner stories 26:45 How Travis came out to his wife and openly acknowledged his same-sex attraction and began to deal with what he had held inside for so many years 30:55 Chris’s experience coming out to his wife and church leaders after he had served as a bishop 35:35 Scott’s realization that he needed to look at the experience of others instead of focusing on himself, how his son’s experience helped him realize how much shame is involved, and how it changed how he leads 42:40 Proactively creating an open, safe, compassionate space to have these conversations and diminish shame 48:00 What am I doing as a bishop to make sure that people would trust me and be willing to share the most personal, painful issues in their life? 51:00 Bishops don’t have to know everything 53:00 We need to be prepared so that when someone comes to us we can get it right the first time 1:04:00 What to say or not say as a leader 1:17:25 These are principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ that are applicable to everyone Links North Star Conference leadership session registration Scott's story mormonandgay.lds.org Interview Transcript   LS: Today I'm sitting down [00:05:30] with, both in person and through the magic of the Internet with a Travis Steward, Scott Mackintosh and Chris Staggs. How are you, Travis? Travis: Good, Scott, how are you doing? LS: Excellent. I have all sorts of names going through my head and Chris, you're joining us from, uh, from Kansas City. Is that, right? Chris: Right. LS: The reason for this gathering here is to hopefully promote a message of love and also make leaders out there [00:06:00] more aware of resources that are available to them as they strive to enhance their leadership ability, especially in the context of our LGBT brothers and sisters that, hopefully are finding a place in, in our congregations and our wards and in a place that they feel comfortable and they can worship with us there. It's, uh, those that have listened to, to Leading Saints for quite some time. Know that we have a, a beautiful relationship, a connection with the North Star, which is another non-profit. And I'll have Chris speak to that in a minute, [00:06:30] but they have a conference coming up in March that I can't stress enough the importance if you are in within a day's drive or can afford a plane ticket to Salt Lake or Provo. Where it's held in Provo. That, that you absolutely get there with as many members of your ward council and spouses, Interview Transcript Available Below - Scott Mackintosh and his wife Becky live in Lehi, Utah and are the parents of seven children, including their son Xian, who came out as gay at age 24. Scott is currently a bishop in a YSA ward at BYU,
Scott Mackintosh and his wife Becky live in Lehi, Utah and are the parents of seven children, including their son Xian, who came out as gay at age 24. Scott is currently a bishop in a YSA ward at BYU, and Becky is on the board at North Star International. Chris Staggs and his wife of 18 years live in Overland Park, Kansas  with their four sons, ages 7 through 17. He experiences same-gender attraction and began to talk about it after serving as a bishop. Travis Steward and his wife Margaret have been married 32 years and have six children and grandchildren. Travis is a former bishop, mission president (Houston, Texas), and has served in stake presidencies. He has experienced same-gender attraction throughout his life and finally began to talk about it a few years ago. In this podcast, we talk about how we can be better leaders week-to-week for the LGBT members in our wards and communities.
Episode Highlights

* 7:30 Chris Staggs’s introduction and how he became involved with North Star through coming to terms with his same-gender attraction
* 12:00 Scott Mackintosh’s story of his son coming out, and how that led to a change of heart for him and a conversion to love and empathy for everyone
* 18:00 Travis Steward’s introduction and his experience as a man who experiences same-gender attraction but buried it for most of his life and struggled through shame and his own inner stories
* 26:45 How Travis came out to his wife and openly acknowledged his same-sex attraction and began to deal with what he had held inside for so many years
* 30:55 Chris’s experience coming out to his wife and church leaders after he had served as a bishop
* 35:35 Scott’s realization that he needed to look at the experience of others instead of focusing on himself, how his son’s experience helped him realize how much shame is involved, and how it changed how he leads
* 42:40 Proactively creating an open, safe, compassionate space to have these conversations and diminish shame
* 48:00 What am I doing as a bishop to make sure that people would trust me and be willing to share the most personal, painful issues in their life?
* 51:00 Bishops don’t have to know everything
* 53:00 We need to be prepared so that when someone comes to us we can get it right the first time
* 1:04:00 What to say or not say as a leader
* 1:17:25 These are principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ that are applicable to everyone

Links
North Star Conference leadership session registration
Scott's story
mormonandgay.lds.org
Interview Transcript
 

LS: Today I'm sitting down [00:05:30] with, both in person and through the magic of the Internet with a Travis Steward, Scott Mackintosh and Chris Staggs. How are you, Travis?

Travis: Good, Scott, how are you doing?

LS: Excellent. I have all sorts of names going through my head and Chris, you're joining us from, uh, from Kansas City. Is that, right?

Chris: Right.

LS: The reason for this gathering here is to hopefully promote a message of love and

also make leaders out there [00:06:00] more aware of resources that are available to them as they strive to enhance their leadership ability, especially in the context of our LGBT brothers and sisters that, hopefully are finding a place in, in our congregations and our wards and in a place that they feel comfortable and they can worship with us there. It's, uh,]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:26:00
The Worth of LGBT Souls | North Star Conference https://leadingsaints.org/the-worth-of-lgbt-souls-north-star-conference/ Sun, 25 Feb 2018 08:26:00 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=40096 North Star is a faith-affirming resource for Latter-day Saints addressing sexual orientation and gender identity, and who desire to live in harmony with the teachings of Jesus Christ and the doctrines and values of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. North Star has been a remarkable partner with Leading Saints to help leaders better understand the experience of LGBT members of the Church. North Star has their annual conference coming up March 15-17 with Saturday (17th) including a free leadership session for lay leaders of the Church. THIS IS A MUST ATTEND OPPORTUNITY! We can't stress enough how much this free leadership event would enhance your ability to lead. If you are in a realistic travel distance you will not regret making it a priority on March 17th. To attend the free leadership session you must REGISTER HERE. To give you a sense of how helpful these leadership sessions are, North Star was kind enough to allow us to publish a leadership session from the 2017 North Star conference for this weeks Leading Saints podcast episode. Be sure to listen above! Episode Highlights Joseph Stith knew from an early age that he experienced same gender attraction. He married the one workman he had been attracted to in his lifetime, that he met right before putting his missionary papers in. As a young man getting married he thought that would take care of his SSA (5:00). Nearly everyone at the conference had been experienced someone coming out to them (2:20) Shared a story of a member going into a disciplinary council and was blown away that all of the leaders learned as much as they could from the Mormonandgay.lds.org website (2:54) Joseph joined the Marine Corps and became a drill instructor, to help him “overcome” his SSA (5:30) When he was almost at a crisis of faith, he turned to his family, the temple and church callings (6:00) After being released from his calling he found his SSA spiralling out of control. He was recommend to go to a blog, where he then found that he wasn’t alone. 7:30 Dealing with the age of the individiual 10:36 The most painful thing that he has heard is after a youth tells their bishop and then says they ignored them for two years. 11:38 Truth and fiction (12:09) Fiction: If someone has same gender attraction, they should not associate with others of the same gender who also has same gender attraction. Menfindingpeace.blogspot.com, offers men supporting other men with SSA. Fiction: SSA is an addiction or Sin. Truth: Coming out to themselves is the first step (15:30) Truth: Coming out to others at their pace and at their choice is part of the healing process (15:39) Personal Crisis of Faith: Individuals bargain with the Lord (16:06) How do people identify if the are SSA. The church has accepted that it’s ok to be SSA (16:34) Remember the spouse is on their own journey. (18:06) Just listen first, don’t try and fix it! (19:07) If you recommend therapy, know what it is you are recommending the therapy for. (19:49) All of us are children of our Heavenly Father have two innate needs (21:51) To be accepted by others (particularly God) Fear rejection What to Say and What not to say 22:35 Don’t: I suspected it all along. We all have our challenges. If you have enough faith. I read this story and someone overcame this and got married. Do: I respect you more for sharing this with me. Kyle Merkely (26:15) first met a transgender person while serving his mission. He then found that there were the people that thought like him. He searched online looking for other church members who felt the way that he did. He wants other people to know that you can be transgendered and to be a member of the church. Jeremy (29:32): Was born and raised Catholic in Southern California. From a young age he always felt different and had strong desires to be female, North Star is a faith-affirming resource for Latter-day Saints addressing sexual orientation and gender identity, and who desire to live in harmony with the teachings of Jesus Christ and the doctrines and values of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-...
North Star has their annual conference coming up March 15-17 with Saturday (17th) including a free leadership session for lay leaders of the Church. THIS IS A MUST ATTEND OPPORTUNITY! We can't stress enough how much this free leadership event would enhance your ability to lead. If you are in a realistic travel distance you will not regret making it a priority on March 17th. To attend the free leadership session you must REGISTER HERE.

To give you a sense of how helpful these leadership sessions are, North Star was kind enough to allow us to publish a leadership session from the 2017 North Star conference for this weeks Leading Saints podcast episode. Be sure to listen above!
Episode Highlights
Joseph Stith knew from an early age that he experienced same gender attraction. He married the one workman he had been attracted to in his lifetime, that he met right before putting his missionary papers in. As a young man getting married he thought that would take care of his SSA (5:00).

* Nearly everyone at the conference had been experienced someone coming out to them (2:20)
* Shared a story of a member going into a disciplinary council and was blown away that all of the leaders learned as much as they could from the Mormonandgay.lds.org website (2:54)
* Joseph joined the Marine Corps and became a drill instructor, to help him “overcome” his SSA (5:30)
* When he was almost at a crisis of faith, he turned to his family, the temple and church callings (6:00)
* After being released from his calling he found his SSA spiralling out of control. He was recommend to go to a blog, where he then found that he wasn’t alone. 7:30
* Dealing with the age of the individiual 10:36

* The most painful thing that he has heard is after a youth tells their bishop and then says they ignored them for two years. 11:38


* Truth and fiction (12:09)

* Fiction: If someone has same gender attraction, they should not associate with others of the same gender who also has same gender attraction. Menfindingpeace.blogspot.com, offers men supporting other men with SSA.
* Fiction: SSA is an addiction or Sin.
* Truth: Coming out to themselves is the first step (15:30)
* Truth: Coming out to others at their pace and at their choice is part of the healing process (15:39)


* Personal Crisis of Faith: Individuals bargain with the Lord (16:06)
* How do people identify if the are SSA. The church has accepted that it’s ok to be SSA (16:34)
* Remember the spouse is on their own journey. (18:06)
* Just listen first, don’t try and fix it! (19:07)

* If you recommend therapy, know what it is you are recommending the therapy for. (19:49)


* All of us are children of our Heavenly Father have two innate needs (21:51)

* To be accepted by others (particularly God)
* Fear rejection


* What to Say and What not to say 22:35

* Don’t:

* I suspected it all along.
* We all have our challenges.
* If you have enough faith.
]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:24:05
Battling Mental Illness as a Missionary | An Interview With Alex Whittingham https://leadingsaints.org/battling-mental-illness-as-a-missionary-an-interview-with-alex-whittingham/ Sun, 18 Feb 2018 08:36:41 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=39965 Alex Wittingham is a Utah resident, lifetime member of the LDS church, student, returned missionary (New Zealand), football player and son of University of Utah head football coach, Kyle Wittingham and his wife Jamie. Following his missionary service Alex began playing football as a long snapper on the U of U football team. Alex loved his mission, had wonderful companions and a supportive mission president. However, he returned home early following 15 months of dedicated service. The reason for his early release was a combination of anxiety, depression and OCD tendencies. 5:02 Recognized some OCD tendencies by age 12 but assumed it was normal and didn’t have a name for it. There was no dramatic increase in the intensity level until his missionary service when feelings of anxiety were exacerbated without the relief valves he enjoyed before his mission (movies, being with friends). 9:04 Alex discusses his decision to serve a mission and feeling a lack of confidence as he tried to envision himself as a missionary. Was nevertheless overjoyed in being called to serve in New Zealand. 11:40: MTC experience brought on added anxiety, notwithstanding wonderful and supportive fellow missionaries who helped him cope. 14:00 Arriving in New Zealand and facing new realities: contacting strangers. Obsessing over scrupulosity, even though he had done everything necessary to render himself worthy to serve prior to entering the mission field. Being OCD and living in a world of spartan obedience to rules. 18:45 His anxiety and other issues came and went in phases during his missionary service. Opening up to his family in P-day letters was therapeutic. 21:00 Confiding in empathetic companions and his very supportive mission president. Referred to LDS Family Services in New Zealand. 23:15 Turning point—beginning to feel at peace regarding the value of his missionary service and the likelihood of an early departure. 26:10 Returning home; weekly counseling continued; coping and managing; useful medications and learning new coping skills. 27:50 Being supported by family and close friends through any feelings of “stigma.” “Your mission is between you and God.” 29:40 The role of his loving stake president and his reassuring bishop in helping him get re-integrated into the ward family. 31:00 Concluding thoughts: Alex is glad he served and loved his mission. It was life-changing and not a mistake. It had not occurred to him, prior to his mission, that he suffered from anything out of the ordinary. He’s glad there now seem to be more pre-mission questions regarding mental wellness. He wonders if leaders recommending candidates for missions should obtain the view of the youth’s parents about any possible emotional or mental conditions that would impact on the ability to serve. 36:12 Why Alex suddenly chose to tweet about his experience following the suicide of a popular singer—desire to help someone else. Describes response to his tweet and a related article in a local newspaper. 38:50 Words of encouragement to fellow sufferers—You are not alone. There is support in the form of angels on earth. Don’t be afraid to reach out and accept help. Links: The OCD Mormon Chad Lewis Interview Salt Lake Tribune Article Anxiety Disorders and Mormonism Conference Discount Code: Leading Saints Alex Wittingham is a Utah resident, lifetime member of the LDS church, student, returned missionary (New Zealand), football player and son of University of Utah head football coach, Kyle Wittingham and his wife Jamie.
* 5:02 Recognized some OCD tendencies by age 12 but assumed it was normal and didn’t have a name for it. There was no dramatic increase in the intensity level until his missionary service when feelings of anxiety were exacerbated without the relief valves he enjoyed before his mission (movies, being with friends).
* 9:04 Alex discusses his decision to serve a mission and feeling a lack of confidence as he tried to envision himself as a missionary. Was nevertheless overjoyed in being called to serve in New Zealand.
* 11:40: MTC experience brought on added anxiety, notwithstanding wonderful and supportive fellow missionaries who helped him cope.
* 14:00 Arriving in New Zealand and facing new realities: contacting strangers. Obsessing over scrupulosity, even though he had done everything necessary to render himself worthy to serve prior to entering the mission field. Being OCD and living in a world of spartan obedience to rules.
* 18:45 His anxiety and other issues came and went in phases during his missionary service. Opening up to his family in P-day letters was therapeutic.
* 21:00 Confiding in empathetic companions and his very supportive mission president. Referred to LDS Family Services in New Zealand.
* 23:15 Turning point—beginning to feel at peace regarding the value of his missionary service and the likelihood of an early departure.
* 26:10 Returning home; weekly counseling continued; coping and managing; useful medications and learning new coping skills.
* 27:50 Being supported by family and close friends through any feelings of “stigma.” “Your mission is between you and God.”
* 29:40 The role of his loving stake president and his reassuring bishop in helping him get re-integrated into the ward family.
* 31:00 Concluding thoughts: Alex is glad he served and loved his mission. It was life-changing and not a mistake. It had not occurred to him, prior to his mission, that he suffered from anything out of the ordinary. He’s glad there now seem to be more pre-mission questions regarding mental wellness. He wonders if leaders recommending candidates for missions should obtain the view of the youth’s parents about any possible emotional or mental conditions that would impact on the ability to serve.
* 36:12 Why Alex suddenly chose to tweet about his experience following the suicide of a popular singer—desire to help someone else. Describes response to his tweet and a related article in a local newspaper.
* 38:50 Words of encouragement to fellow sufferers—You are not alone. There is support in the form of angels on earth. Don’t be afraid to reach out and accept help.

Links:

* The OCD Mormon
* Chad Lewis Interview
* Salt Lake Tribune Article
* Anxiety Disorders and Mormonism Confer...]]>
Leading Saints clean 44:33
Disrupting Your Calling | An Interview With Whitney Johnson https://leadingsaints.org/disrupting-your-calling-an-interview-with-whitney-johnson/ Sun, 11 Feb 2018 08:09:33 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=39782 Whitney Johnson started as a secretary on Wall Street while taking business classes at night. She worked her way up as a successful investment banker. She later co-founded an investment firm with Harvard Business School’s Clayton Christensen. She is an accomplished author of several books, Dare, Dream Do, and Disrupt Yourself. Her newest book coming out this May is called, Build An “A” Team: Play To Their Strengths and Lead Them Up The Learning Curve. Whitney grew up in San Jose California. She also served a mission in Uruguay for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. She attended Brigham Young University and received a B.A. in music. While at BYU she met her husband and they were married in the Temple. They currently live in Lexington Virginia and have two children, a son and a daughter. Whitney and her husband have been married for 31 years. Podcast Highlights: 10:35 In her twenties Whitney asked herself, “Do I believe” While she took a step back her husband fasted for her on and off for two years. 13:13 While serving in her current calling she realized, I don’t need to save them just love them. 18:20 Early in her career she started a blog to help her discover what her dreams were. 19:30 Every man and women needs to learn how to be a ship and a harbor. 21:00 Her first book came out in 2012 Dare Dream Do: Remarkable Things Happen When You Dare To Dream. 22:30 She later wrote the book Disrupt Yourself: Putting The Power Of Disruptive Innovation To Work. 23:00 A disruptor is a silly thing that takes over the world. When you disrupt yourself you take over your world. 24:13 Disrupting is managing change. 26:08 How do you disrupt yourself or your ward? Seven Levels of Change #1 Take the right kinds of risk 28:05 28:05 Serve the Lord the way you need to using your talents. 31:25 Ask yourself what I want to accomplish in this calling. #2 Play to your distinctive strengths in your calling. 32:42 34:40 What am I bringing to the table in regards to my calling. 36:26 Think about the things that make you feel strong. 36:46 Think about what exacerbates you. That is one of your strengths. 37:08 What compliments do you get all the time? That is your super power. 37:21 Read your patriarchal blessing. Look for your spiritual gifts while reading it. 38:30 Are you using your strengths and your super powers deliberately in your calling? #3 Embrace Constraints 38:51 39:08 How do we turn those constraint into a tool of creation? 40:20 Elders Bednar's 2017 General Conference address Bear Up Their Burdens With Ease is a great example of how our load is what gets them out. 42:04 Elder Carmack's address about the Powers of the Priesthood is a great example to use your Priesthood Power at its fullest. 42:19 Be prayerful and listen to the Lord. 43:59 Communicate and be open about your constraints with your Bishop. 45:19 Extend callings and invite them to pray about it first. #4 Battle Entitlement 45:56 46:57 The Church helps battle entitlement by the way it is organized, and callings change. #5 Give Failure its Due 48:45 48:52 Reframe your failures. 49:29 We believe we can change, but we don’t always act like we believe it. 50:11 Be open about the things that are hard for us. 51:45 Ask yourself, “how can I make meaning of this?” 51:39 Shame limits disruption, not failure. #6 Step Back in Order to Grow 53:51 54:20 In church we step back to grow as we get new callings. #7 Be Driven By Discovery 55:03 55:47 With each new discovery, alter your plan. 56:27 We are driven by discovery in our church when new information is shared in callings. 57:01 Deal with ambiguity. Work with the unknown. Alter your plan. 57:52 The sin of Certainty. We battle entitlement when we feel like we have it all figured out. When we feel like we have no questions, but the questions are what we need to guide us to discove... Whitney Johnson started as a secretary on Wall Street while taking business classes at night. She worked her way up as a successful investment banker. She later co-founded an investment firm with Harvard Business School’s Clayton Christensen.
Whitney grew up in San Jose California. She also served a mission in Uruguay for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. She attended Brigham Young University and received a B.A. in music. While at BYU she met her husband and they were married in the Temple. They currently live in Lexington Virginia and have two children, a son and a daughter. Whitney and her husband have been married for 31 years.
Podcast Highlights:

* 10:35 In her twenties Whitney asked herself, “Do I believe” While she took a step back her husband fasted for her on and off for two years.
* 13:13 While serving in her current calling she realized, I don’t need to save them just love them.
* 18:20 Early in her career she started a blog to help her discover what her dreams were.
* 19:30 Every man and women needs to learn how to be a ship and a harbor.
* 21:00 Her first book came out in 2012 Dare Dream Do: Remarkable Things Happen When You Dare To Dream.
* 22:30 She later wrote the book Disrupt Yourself: Putting The Power Of Disruptive Innovation To Work.
* 23:00 A disruptor is a silly thing that takes over the world. When you disrupt yourself you take over your world.
* 24:13 Disrupting is managing change.
* 26:08 How do you disrupt yourself or your ward?

Seven Levels of Change
#1 Take the right kinds of risk 28:05

* 28:05 Serve the Lord the way you need to using your talents.
* 31:25 Ask yourself what I want to accomplish in this calling.

#2 Play to your distinctive strengths in your calling. 32:42

* 34:40 What am I bringing to the table in regards to my calling.
* 36:26 Think about the things that make you feel strong.
* 36:46 Think about what exacerbates you. That is one of your strengths.
* 37:08 What compliments do you get all the time? That is your super power.
* 37:21 Read your patriarchal blessing. Look for your spiritual gifts while reading it.
* 38:30 Are you using your strengths and your super powers deliberately in your calling?

#3 Embrace Constraints 38:51

* 39:08 How do we turn those constraint into a tool of creation?
* 40:20 Elders Bednar's 2017 General Conference address Bear Up Their Burdens With Ease is a great example of how our load is what gets them out.
* 42:04 Elder Carmack's address about the Powers of the Priesthood is a great example to use your Priesthood Power at its fullest.
* 42:19 Be prayerful and listen to the Lord.
* 43:59 Communicate and be open about your constraints with your Bishop.
* 45:19 Extend callings and invite them to pray about it first.

#4 Battle Entitlement 45:56

* 46:57 The Church helps battle entitlement by the way it is organized, and callings change.

#5 Give Failure its Due 48:45

* 48:52 Reframe your failures.
* 49:29 We believe we can change, but we don’t always act like we believe it.
* 50:11 Be open about the things that are hard for us.
* 51:45 Ask yourself, “how can I make meaning of this?”
* 51:39 Shame limits disruption, not failure.

#6 Step Back in Order to Grow 53:51

* 54:20 In church we step back to grow as we get new callings.

#7 Be Driven By Discovery 55:03

]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:06:23
How I Lead as Bishop After a Faith Crisis | An Interview With Dan Conway https://leadingsaints.org/how-i-lead-as-bishop-after-a-faith-crisis-an-interview-with-dan-conway/ Mon, 05 Feb 2018 20:59:33 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=39695 Dan Conway is a bishop in Newcastle, in northeast England, and has also served as an elders quorum president. He served a mission to Scotland, and works as a digital marketing executive. In this episode Dan walks us through his crisis of faith prior to being called as bishop, and how that affected how he leads now. Episode Summary 5:45 Mission to Scotland 8:45 Faith crisis 14:40 Reading and praying didn’t work as a solution 19:20 Call as Elders Quorum president in the midst of a faith crisis 21:50 Finding the answers to his questions 28:30 Experience bearing his testimony of Joseph Smith 31:15 Becoming the bishop after a faith crisis 43:45 Understanding that people can change and become better 46:15 First year as a bishop 51:20 How he does ward council: short meetings every other week, then visits 56:35 Using an agenda and PPIs 1:01:00 Visiting people after ward council 1:04:00 PPIs  Links: Interview with Arthur Boutin FAIR Mormon   Dan Conway is a bishop in Newcastle, in northeast England, and has also served as an elders quorum president. He served a mission to Scotland, and works as a digital marketing executive. In this episode Dan walks us through his crisis of faith prior to...
Episode Summary

5:45 Mission to Scotland
8:45 Faith crisis
14:40 Reading and praying didn’t work as a solution
19:20 Call as Elders Quorum president in the midst of a faith crisis
21:50 Finding the answers to his questions
28:30 Experience bearing his testimony of Joseph Smith
31:15 Becoming the bishop after a faith crisis
43:45 Understanding that people can change and become better
46:15 First year as a bishop
51:20 How he does ward council: short meetings every other week, then visits
56:35 Using an agenda and PPIs
1:01:00 Visiting people after ward council
1:04:00 PPIs

 Links:
Interview with Arthur Boutin

FAIR Mormon

 
]]> Leading Saints clean What I Wish I Knew Before I Was Elders Quorum President – Ep. 1 https://leadingsaints.org/what-i-wish-i-knew-before-i-was-elders-quorum-president-ep-1/ Wed, 31 Jan 2018 09:25:44 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=39441 Being a newly called elders quorum president can be nerve-racking! So many things to organize and consider. Thankfully, Leading Saints is here to help. In this episode we have gathered experiences from current and former elders quorum presidents from around the world sharing what they wish they knew before they were called as elders quorum president. You will find their advice inspiring and practical. Contribute Your Own WIWIK Experience In an effort to help other elders quorum presidents to learn some quick leadership experience on day 1, we are organizing future podcast episodes that will feature many current and past elders quorum presidents sharing what they wish they knew before they were called as elders quorum president. You will only have 5 minutes to record so write some thoughts on a paper and then record! How to record: Click the green button below Answer the following question in less than 5 minutes: What do you wish you knew before you were elders quorum president? Start your answer with “Before I was elders quorum president I wish I knew…” Stop recording Listen to recording and record again if you would like Enter name and email Submit recording by clicking “send” Episode Transcript KURT: Hello and welcome to [00:00:30] the Leading Saints podcast. My name is Kurt Frankham. I'm the executive director of Leading Saints and also the host of the Leading Saints podcast. If you're new to Leading Saints I welcome you. We produce a regular podcast where we discuss topics that will help lay leaders in the LDS Church enhance their leadership ability and capacity. And we do that through various methods. One of those being we interview really smart and intelligent people who have experience in leadership whether in or outside the church, and we talk about strong leadership principles in the context of the LDS church. We [00:01:00] also have a segment called “How I Lead” where we interview everyday leaders and ask them how they go about their day to day, week to week responsibilities as a lay leader in the church. And what you're bound to hear is that we weak segment where we crowdsource the community of Leading Saints and ask them to finish the sentence, what I wish I knew when I was Elder's quorum President, when I was Bishop, Relief Society President, Young Men's President, Young Women's President whatever it is and in this episode, we focus on what I wish I knew before I was Elders Quorum President. Each voice you'll hear we've given them [00:01:30] five minutes or less to talk about what they wish they knew before they're called as Elder's quorum President. Thank you for all the support you show to Leading Saints. And now what I wish I knew before I was Elder's quorum President. CALLER: My name is Adam Elsworth I'm currently an Elder's quorum President. I have been for about two years now. What I wish I knew before I was called or when I was called as an elders quorum president. It's a little bit of a challenging [00:02:00] question, so I feel like I had all the spiritual tools I needed to go to Heavenly Father and find out what my quorum needed and I already somehow, because I didn't have them had a strong sense that I shouldn't be having one on one interviews with my quorum members regularly. So we have done that and those have been very effective and very helpful for ministering in my quorum and to those we home teach. So I had those tools in place. But one thing that is maybe a little surprising or didn’t[00:02:30] suspect although it obvious  is that the more things that I can put on auto pilot, or better said the more things I can have pre scheduled that I don't have to go through the process of scheduling each month, the more effective I've been. So for example with my first elder’s quorum presidency my two counselors moved away, but with those two we didn't necessarily have a set time each month that we would have our presidency meeting. Being a newly called elders quorum president can be nerve-racking! So many things to organize and consider. Thankfully, Leading Saints is here to help. In this episode we have gathered experiences from current and former elders quorum presidents from a... Contribute Your Own WIWIK Experience
In an effort to help other elders quorum presidents to learn some quick leadership experience on day 1, we are organizing future podcast episodes that will feature many current and past elders quorum presidents sharing what they wish they knew before they were called as elders quorum president.

You will only have 5 minutes to record so write some thoughts on a paper and then record!
How to record:

* Click the green button below
* Answer the following question in less than 5 minutes:

* What do you wish you knew before you were elders quorum president?
* Start your answer with “Before I was elders quorum president I wish I knew…”


* Stop recording
* Listen to recording and record again if you would like
* Enter name and email
* Submit recording by clicking “send”


Episode Transcript
KURT: Hello and welcome to [00:00:30] the Leading Saints podcast. My name is Kurt Frankham. I'm the executive director of Leading Saints and also the host of the Leading Saints podcast. If you're new to Leading Saints I welcome you. We produce a regular podcast where we discuss topics that will help lay leaders in the LDS Church enhance their leadership ability and capacity. And we do that through various methods. One of those being we interview really smart and intelligent people who have experience in leadership whether in or outside the church, and we talk about strong leadership principles in the context of the LDS church. We [00:01:00] also have a segment called “How I Lead” where we interview everyday leaders and ask them how they go about their day to day, week to week responsibilities as a lay leader in the church. And what you're bound to hear is that we weak segment where we crowdsource the community of Leading Saints and ask them to finish the sentence, what I wish I knew when I was Elder's quorum President, when I was Bishop, Relief Society President, Young Men's President, Young Women's President whatever it is and in this episode, we focus on what I wish I knew before I was Elders Quorum President. Each voice you'll hear we've given them [00:01:30] five minutes or less to talk about what they wish they knew before they're called as Elder's quorum President. Thank you for all the support you show to Leading Saints. And now what I wish I knew before I was Elder's quorum President.

CALLER: My name is Adam Elsworth I'm currently an Elder's quorum President. I have been for about two years now. What I wish I knew before I was called or when I was called as an elders quorum president. It's a little bit of a challenging [00:02:00] question, so I feel like I had all the spiritual tools I needed to go to Heavenly Father and find out what my quorum needed and I already somehow, because I didn't have them had a strong sense that I shouldn't be having one on one interviews with my quorum members regularly. So we have done that and those have been very effective and very helpful for ministering in my quorum and to those we home teach. So I had those tools in place. But one thing that is maybe a little surprising or didn’t[00:02:30] suspect although it obvious  is that the more things that I can put on auto pilot, or better said the more things I can have pre scheduled that I don't have to go through the process of scheduling each month, the more effective I've been. So for example with my first elder’s quorum presidency my two counse...]]>
Leading Saints clean 25:10
Ministering to the Doubter | An Interview With Terryl Givens https://leadingsaints.org/ministering-to-the-doubter-an-interview-with-terryl-givens/ Sun, 28 Jan 2018 08:32:45 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=39463 A transcript of the interview is available below. Terryl Givens, PhD, is a professor of literature and religion at the University of Richmond, a private liberal arts college. Baptized initially in the Presbyterian faith by his minister grandfather, Terryl and his family became LDS when Terryl was eight or nine; however, the family of nine became less active. Born in upstate New York and raised largely in the Southwestern U.S.A., when Terryl was sixteen the family relocated to Virginia from another state, having no immediate prospects for employment, friends or a home. Initially they lived in a tent. In Virginia the family was reactivated and Terryl experienced a personal spiritual reawakening. Although he set his sights on a wrestling scholarship at Yale, Terryl was always “bookish,” as he describes it. Following a successful church mission in Brazil he graduated from BYU, where he courted and married Fiona. After graduate work at Cornell he completed his graduate studies at UNC, Chapel Hill, by which time the Givens had five children. Dr. Givens’ scholastic work included a semester abroad in Vienna. Fiona has a graduate degree in history. Terryl has served as a bishop. Although he did not initially fancy himself an author, Dr. Givens has authored a dozen books, including some that have been co-authored with Fiona. He has a special interest in Mormon studies, history and culture. His podcasts are accessible through terrylgivens.com. Episode Highlights 11:37 Unlikely journey to becoming an author…His father’s collection of 19th century anti-LDS literature…Impact of learning the Book of Mormon was the most widely produced book, other than Bible. 15:15 Books are no longer the primary vehicle for disseminating information…Desire to celebrate intellectual and theological richness of Mormonism…People struggling with their faith. 18:00 There is not one, “typical” Mormon testimony…Finding one’s own path in “coming to Christ.” 19:25 Called as bishop in Richmond the week of 9/11…Occupying a position with enormous ability to make a difference in people’s lives…Using the power of the mantle as an influence for good…Ministering to members and promoting member interaction. 23:00 Dealing with faith crises…The gift of empathy…Feeling the weight of their burdens and the texture of their cross…Bishops need to “feel,” not simply fix…Avoiding tendency to view others’ experiences through one’s personal lens regarding matters of faith and other personal struggles. 29:25 President M. Russell Ballard’s powerful statement to leaders: ‘bearing testimony is not the answer to every question’ from people experiencing doubt…Dealing with legitimate perplexities and apparent incongruities…Asking, “What’s at stake in that question?”…Some faith questions are based on false assumptions…Helping people navigate distractions by refocusing on what matters most. 35:10 As a leader, having courage to refer someone to a person with more expertise…Demonstrate validation…Be careful about trying to shut off sources of intellectual inquiry…Transparency. 38:15 “Criminalizing” doubt…Elder Hugh B. Brown’s comment about “apprenticeship in doubt” on path of discipleship…Can faith and uncertainty can co-exist?... “Help thou my unbelief.” Knowing vs believing…On being authentic as to what we know or feel…The culture of “certainty.” 44:52 Scriptural examples of individuals having faith without absolute knowledge…Scriptures appeal to both mind and heart…Saying “I don’t know” and learning together. 47:56 Asking “real” questions in adult Sunday school classes…Does everyone truly agree…Importance of truly spiritual gospel doctrine class teachers…Dealing with boredom in SS class. 52:00 Is there resistance to addressing questions head-on? In the long run, how will church members be fortified? Being “shut down” in the U.K. 55:00 Holy envy…The role of art and literature as sacred vehicles. President Kimball: “When God didn’t have prophets he sp... A transcript of the interview is available below. - Terryl Givens, PhD, is a professor of literature and religion at the University of Richmond, a private liberal arts college. Baptized initially in the Presbyterian faith by his minister grandfather,
Terryl Givens, PhD, is a professor of literature and religion at the University of Richmond, a private liberal arts college. Baptized initially in the Presbyterian faith by his minister grandfather, Terryl and his family became LDS when Terryl was eight or nine; however, the family of nine became less active. Born in upstate New York and raised largely in the Southwestern U.S.A., when Terryl was sixteen the family relocated to Virginia from another state, having no immediate prospects for employment, friends or a home. Initially they lived in a tent. In Virginia the family was reactivated and Terryl experienced a personal spiritual reawakening. Although he set his sights on a wrestling scholarship at Yale, Terryl was always “bookish,” as he describes it. Following a successful church mission in Brazil he graduated from BYU, where he courted and married Fiona. After graduate work at Cornell he completed his graduate studies at UNC, Chapel Hill, by which time the Givens had five children. Dr. Givens’ scholastic work included a semester abroad in Vienna. Fiona has a graduate degree in history. Terryl has served as a bishop. Although he did not initially fancy himself an author, Dr. Givens has authored a dozen books, including some that have been co-authored with Fiona. He has a special interest in Mormon studies, history and culture. His podcasts are accessible through terrylgivens.com.
Episode Highlights

* 11:37 Unlikely journey to becoming an author…His father’s collection of 19th century anti-LDS literature…Impact of learning the Book of Mormon was the most widely produced book, other than Bible.
* 15:15 Books are no longer the primary vehicle for disseminating information…Desire to celebrate intellectual and theological richness of Mormonism…People struggling with their faith.
* 18:00 There is not one, “typical” Mormon testimony…Finding one’s own path in “coming to Christ.”
* 19:25 Called as bishop in Richmond the week of 9/11…Occupying a position with enormous ability to make a difference in people’s lives…Using the power of the mantle as an influence for good…Ministering to members and promoting member interaction.
* 23:00 Dealing with faith crises…The gift of empathy…Feeling the weight of their burdens and the texture of their cross…Bishops need to “feel,” not simply fix…Avoiding tendency to view others’ experiences through one’s personal lens regarding matters of faith and other personal struggles.
* 29:25 President M. Russell Ballard’s powerful statement to leaders: ‘bearing testimony is not the answer to every question’ from people experiencing doubt…Dealing with legitimate perplexities and apparent incongruities…Asking, “What’s at stake in that question?”…Some faith questions are based on false assumptions…Helping people navigate distractions by refocusing on what matters most.
* 35:10 As a leader, having courage to refer someone to a person with more expertise…Demonstrate validation…Be careful about trying to shut off sources of intellectual inquiry…Transparency.
* 38:15 “Criminalizing” doubt…Elder Hugh B. Brown’s comment about “apprenticeship in doubt” on path of discipleship…Can faith and uncertainty can co-exist?... “Help thou my unbelief.” Knowing vs believing…On being authentic as to what we know or feel…The culture of “certainty.”
* 44:52 Scriptural examples of individuals having faith without absolute knowledge…Scriptures appeal to both mind and heart…Saying “I don’t know” and learning together.
* 47:56 Asking “real” questions in adult Sunday school classes…Does everyone truly agree…Importance of truly spiritual gospel doctrine class teachers…Dealing with boredom in SS class.
* 52:00 Is there resistance to addressing questions head-on? In the long run,]]>
Leading Saints clean 57:27
How I Lead as Primary President | An Interview With Rachel Davis of TheMormonHome.com https://leadingsaints.org/how-i-lead-as-primary-president-an-interview-with-rachel-davis-of-themormonhome-com/ Sun, 21 Jan 2018 08:04:08 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=39314 Rachel Davis is a two-time Primary president and lives in Santa Clarita, California, with her husband and children. She was raised in the LDS Church as her family traveled internationally and around the United States for her father's work. She blogs at TheMormonHome.com where she posts resources for LDS families and Primary leaders. Episode Highlights 3:00 Rachel's background and blogging experiences 9:15 How living internationally shaped her experience in the church 13:00 The bulletin board metaphor 14:30 Rachel's family story and development of her testimony 19:20 "Digging deep" in developing a testimony 22:50 Gay marriage issue in California and her family 24:40 Diversity of thought in a room 29:00 Primary presidency experience 32:30 How Rachel's Primary operates 39:40 Five Leadership Principles Stop trying to find someone to tell you No 42:10 Every time you start a program, think about how you're going to finish it (traditions are perilous) 44:10 Church is a volunteer organization, not a corporation 46:15 Be ready to apologize all the time 49:45 Practice spiritual self-care 54:10 Seeing the big picture with Primary children Links Microphone Rachel's ward uses in Primary TheMormonHome.com Rachel Davis is a two-time Primary president and lives in Santa Clarita, California, with her husband and children. She was raised in the LDS Church as her family traveled internationally and around the United States for her father's work. TheMormonHome.com where she posts resources for LDS families and Primary leaders.
Episode Highlights

* 3:00 Rachel's background and blogging experiences
* 9:15 How living internationally shaped her experience in the church
* 13:00 The bulletin board metaphor
* 14:30 Rachel's family story and development of her testimony
* 19:20 "Digging deep" in developing a testimony
* 22:50 Gay marriage issue in California and her family
* 24:40 Diversity of thought in a room
* 29:00 Primary presidency experience
* 32:30 How Rachel's Primary operates
* 39:40 Five Leadership Principles

* Stop trying to find someone to tell you No
* 42:10 Every time you start a program, think about how you're going to finish it (traditions are perilous)
* 44:10 Church is a volunteer organization, not a corporation
* 46:15 Be ready to apologize all the time
* 49:45 Practice spiritual self-care


* 54:10 Seeing the big picture with Primary children

Links
Microphone Rachel's ward uses in Primary

TheMormonHome.com]]>
Leading Saints clean 57:44
Love Without Works is Dead | An Interview With Chad Lewis, Former BYU Player & NFL Pro-Bowler https://leadingsaints.org/love-without-works-is-dead-an-interview-with-chad-lewis-former-byu-player-nfl-pro-bowler/ Sun, 14 Jan 2018 13:02:10 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=39228 Photo Credit: BYU Photo Chad Lewis is from Orem, Utah and walked on to played football for Brigham Young University from 1993 to 1996. After not being drafted into the NFL he walked on to play for the Philadelphia Eagles where he had a successful career as a 3-time pro-bowler. Now retired from football he works for the BYU Athletic department and continues to have a passion for BYU sports. In this episode we talk about his personal development as a leader and how he found the grit and determination to succeed in a difficult sport when he was required to "walk-on" at every level. Chad describes what made his two famous coaches, LaVell Edwards and Andy Reid, incredible leaders and motivators. Episode Highlights: Chad's background 4:00 Chad's childhood and mission 6:00 What advice will you give your children about serving a mission? 11:50 How Chad decided to walk-on to BYU 13:30 How to stay humble and confident on the football field 19:30 How to attack each day and succeed as a competitor 22:00 What Coach LaVell Edwards taught Chad about leadership 24:20 How Coach Edwards showed love through leadership 27:00 How to be a leader and not just a player 32:00 How to motivate as a leader 35:00 What Coach Andy Reid taught Chad about leadership 39:00 Links: The Greatest Salesman in the World, by Og Mandino Tom Brady's Book, The TB12 Method Photo Credit: BYU Photo - Chad Lewis is from Orem, Utah and walked on to played football for Brigham Young University from 1993 to 1996. After not being drafted into the NFL he walked on to play for the Philadelphia Eagles where he had a successful ca...
Chad Lewis is from Orem, Utah and walked on to played football for Brigham Young University from 1993 to 1996. After not being drafted into the NFL he walked on to play for the Philadelphia Eagles where he had a successful career as a 3-time pro-bowler. Now retired from football he works for the BYU Athletic department and continues to have a passion for BYU sports.

In this episode we talk about his personal development as a leader and how he found the grit and determination to succeed in a difficult sport when he was required to "walk-on" at every level. Chad describes what made his two famous coaches, LaVell Edwards and Andy Reid, incredible leaders and motivators.
Episode Highlights:

* Chad's background 4:00
* Chad's childhood and mission 6:00
* What advice will you give your children about serving a mission? 11:50
* How Chad decided to walk-on to BYU 13:30
* How to stay humble and confident on the football field 19:30
* How to attack each day and succeed as a competitor 22:00
* What Coach LaVell Edwards taught Chad about leadership 24:20
* How Coach Edwards showed love through leadership 27:00
* How to be a leader and not just a player 32:00
* How to motivate as a leader 35:00
* What Coach Andy Reid taught Chad about leadership 39:00

Links:
The Greatest Salesman in the World, by Og Mandino

Tom Brady's Book, The TB12 Method

]]>
Leading Saints clean 46:42
How I Lead as Relief Society President in Palestine | An Interview With Sahar Qumsiyeh https://leadingsaints.org/how-i-lead-as-relief-society-president-in-palestine-an-interview-with-sahar-qumsiyeh/ Sun, 07 Jan 2018 08:00:08 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=39071 Sahar Qumsiyeh is the author of Peace for a Palestinian: One Woman's Story of Faith amidst War in the Holy Land where she tells of her life as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Palestine. In this interview we hear her story of converting to the LDS Church at Brigham Young University and then serving in church leadership positions when she returned to the Jerusalem Branch and also in Turkey during her graduate school. Sahar currently lives in Rexburg Idaho where she teaches Mathematics. Episode Highlights 2:20 the development of her faith before joining the Church 4:20 What lead her to BYU 5:45 What she knew about Mormons before going to BYU 7:30 Her conversion story 9:30 The transition from Provo, Utah to Palestine as a member of the Church 12:15 Why going to Church was difficult for Sahar as a Palestinian 21:25 Sahar’s experience serving in the LDS Church in Turkey while she attended graduate school 23:15 Being in the Relief Society presidency in Turkey 28:00 Being called as Relief Society president in the Jerusalem Branch 29:30 What the Jerusalem Branch is like 34:00 The creation of the Bethlehem Branch 42:00 Serving as Primary President in the Bethlehem Branch 47:00 Leadership principles learned as a leader in the LDS Church Links: Buy Sahar's book Interview Transcript Kurt Francom (LS): Today I'm sitting down in downtown Salt Lake at the [00:03:30] Deseret Book headquarters with Sahar Qumsiyeh. How are you Sahar? Sahar:  I'm doing good thank you. LS: Awesome. Now you are not from Salt Lake. You were from the other side of the globe. Sahar: Yeah. LS: When people  ask you where you're from what do you tell them? Sahar:  Palestine. LS: Nice, And is there specific city? Sahar:  I tell them I'm from Bise Lahore but a lot of people don't know Bise Lahore but it's right next to Bethlehem is about a five minute walk from the Church of Nativity where the savior was born so its just down the hill. LS: I've heard of Bethlehem [00:04:00] this is good. You're born in Jerusalem right? The reason we were together is you recently wrote a book about being a Latter Day saint in Palestine.  Obviously there's a story behind this but what led to this book actually coming to reality? Sahar:  Well actually it started out by a very simple Relief Society Project where they encouraged us to write our personal history and I decided I'm going to write my life story. And I did. And I kept adding to it.[00:04:30] As time went by and then one of my friends is like well why don't you publish this. This is interesting because I was sending her my weekly e-mails about sneaking in to get to church and all the difficulties I was facing. She's like you have an interesting life.  You should publish this. People could be interested in my life? So I changed the format a little bit and made it look like something kind of inspirational and kind of topic base. So it's not a biography format. LS: [00:05:00] Here it is, nice!  There is a few things I want to talk about. Obviously it's interesting you've served as early Relief Society president and District Relief Society president in Palestine and obviously there's some interesting stories from that and some unique leadership principles you learned from that experience but maybe back up you converted the church when you attended BYU but before that how would you describe the development of your faith? Sahar:  So I  grew up in a place of conflict and it was kind of difficult  [00:05:30] to live there and I was depressed a lot. I participated in demonstrations I saw a lot of people get killed and shot and then imprisoned, and tortured, in jail and all that and it was kind of a difficult life and I became very depressed. Then when I went to BYU, and I grew up as a Christian I knew God existed I just didn't know that God actually hears and answers our prayers. I actually thought he hated us because, Sahar Qumsiyeh is the author of Peace for a Palestinian: One Woman's Story of Faith amidst War in the Holy Land where she tells of her life as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Palestine. Peace for a Palestinian: One Woman's Story of Faith amidst War in the Holy Land where she tells of her life as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Palestine. In this interview we hear her story of converting to the LDS Church at Brigham Young University and then serving in church leadership positions when she returned to the Jerusalem Branch and also in Turkey during her graduate school. Sahar currently lives in Rexburg Idaho where she teaches Mathematics.
Episode Highlights

* 2:20 the development of her faith before joining the Church
* 4:20 What lead her to BYU
* 5:45 What she knew about Mormons before going to BYU
* 7:30 Her conversion story
* 9:30 The transition from Provo, Utah to Palestine as a member of the Church
* 12:15 Why going to Church was difficult for Sahar as a Palestinian
* 21:25 Sahar’s experience serving in the LDS Church in Turkey while she attended graduate school
* 23:15 Being in the Relief Society presidency in Turkey
* 28:00 Being called as Relief Society president in the Jerusalem Branch
* 29:30 What the Jerusalem Branch is like
* 34:00 The creation of the Bethlehem Branch
* 42:00 Serving as Primary President in the Bethlehem Branch
* 47:00 Leadership principles learned as a leader in the LDS Church

Links:
Buy Sahar's book


Interview Transcript
Kurt Francom (LS): Today I'm sitting down in downtown Salt Lake at the [00:03:30] Deseret Book headquarters with Sahar Qumsiyeh. How are you Sahar?

Sahar:  I'm doing good thank you.

LS: Awesome. Now you are not from Salt Lake. You were from the other side of the globe.

Sahar: Yeah.

LS: When people  ask you where you're from what do you tell them?

Sahar:  Palestine.

LS: Nice, And is there specific city?

Sahar:  I tell them I'm from Bise Lahore but a lot of people don't know Bise Lahore but it's right next to Bethlehem is about a five minute walk from the Church of Nativity where the savior was born so its just down the hill.

LS: I've heard of Bethlehem [00:04:00] this is good. You're born in Jerusalem right? The reason we were together is you recently wrote a book about being a Latter Day saint in Palestine.  Obviously there's a story behind this but what led to this book actually coming to reality?

Sahar:  Well actually it started out by a very simple Relief Society Project where they encouraged us to write our personal history and I decided I'm going to write my life story. And I did. And I kept adding to it.[00:04:30] As time went by and then one of my friends is like well why don't you publish this. This is interesting because I was sending her my weekly e-mails about sneaking in to get to church and all the difficulties I was facing. She's like you have an interesting life.  You should publish this. People could be interested in my life? So I changed the format a little bit and made it look like something kind of inspirational and kind of topic base. So it's not a biography format.

LS: [00:05:00] Here it is, nice!  There is a few things I want to talk about. Obviously it's interesting you've served as early Relief Society president and District Relief Society president in Palestine and obviously there's some interesting stories from that and some unique leadership principles you learned from that experience but...]]>
Leading Saints clean 54:00
How I Lead as Young Women President | An Interview With Kimber Uluave https://leadingsaints.org/how-i-lead-as-young-women-president-an-interview-with-kimber-uluave/ Sun, 31 Dec 2017 08:00:51 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=38961 Kimber Uluave is a three-time Young Women president (different stakes) who resides in Washington, Utah, near St. George. Born and raised in Cedar City, Utah, she met her husband-to-be, Kivalu , while they were students at Southern Utah University. A Provo native, Kivalu  played football for SUU. The two coincidentally met again while at the MTC. Kimber served in the California San Jose Mission, while Kivalu  served in the Japan Tokyo South Mission. Following their respective missions they reconnected, courted, married and now have three children. Kimber has also served as a gospel doctrine teacher and in a relief society presidency. 8:00 Feelings of inadequacy in leading 42, mostly active young women; different wards—different dynamics; developing deep and profound relationships; listen to spiritual promptings and seek to avoid regrets about your service. 15:00 “I am called of God; my authority is above that of the kings of the earth.” Lord will magnify us if we rise to the occasion. Be courageous; testify; allow your children to see your example of faithful service. 19:30 Helping young women move past tension and competition can restore the spirit of the overall group. Asking an inspired, bold question led to forgiveness and reconciliation. Either allow the Lord to magnify the positives or deal with having the adversary magnify the negatives. Don’t lead by shaming. Getting past the cliché of “just love them.” Inviting people to take action. A relationship based on trust and love makes it easier to extend bold invitation to improve. Contagious love. 5 Key Leadership Principles 29:15 Ministering: We’ve been given the mantle and responsibility and the tools to know what the YW need. Getting to know them on their “turf.” Is the use of social media a help or a hindrance in dealing with young women? 32:02 See and love the youth as the Savior does: We stand in His place and He wants them to be taught leadership and motherhood skills. Being the Lord’s instrument and mouthpiece. Approaching those who are resistant. 33:53 Know the mantle of the calling: Inspiration is available. The Lord fills in the gaps. The “law of compensation.” Witnessing miracles. 36:41 Seek revelation and be in tune to the promptings of the Holy Ghost: Many need us and are on their needs asking for help. Be in tune to know what God wants you to do to respond to their prayers. 39:31 Magnify the Lord’s love in all our efforts: He will magnify you in your calling and that magnifying component can last long after your official efforts/calling have ended. 41:50 Let the girls be leaders and offer ideas that will change their lives: Excellent example of young women, with the relief society’s assistance, deepening relationships and fulfilling a Personal Progress requirement through a group quilting project. Concluding Thought on Discipleship 43:36 How has being a leader helped you to be a better follower and disciple of Jesus Christ? Kimber’s response: In this life we can represent our Savior and say the things He would say and do if He were here. I have seen my joy magnified in every aspect of my life. The joy in our home luminates because of service. It is a gift to have the privilege and ability to serve. Kimber Uluave is a three-time Young Women president (different stakes) who resides in Washington, Utah, near St. George. Born and raised in Cedar City, Utah, she met her husband-to-be, Kivalu , while they were students at Southern Utah University.
8:00 Feelings of inadequacy in leading 42, mostly active young women; different wards—different dynamics; developing deep and profound relationships; listen to spiritual promptings and seek to avoid regrets about your service.

15:00 “I am called of God; my authority is above that of the kings of the earth.” Lord will magnify us if we rise to the occasion. Be courageous; testify; allow your children to see your example of faithful service.

19:30 Helping young women move past tension and competition can restore the spirit of the overall group. Asking an inspired, bold question led to forgiveness and reconciliation. Either allow the Lord to magnify the positives or deal with having the adversary magnify the negatives. Don’t lead by shaming. Getting past the cliché of “just love them.” Inviting people to take action. A relationship based on trust and love makes it easier to extend bold invitation to improve. Contagious love.
5 Key Leadership Principles

* 29:15 Ministering: We’ve been given the mantle and responsibility and the tools to know what the YW need. Getting to know them on their “turf.” Is the use of social media a help or a hindrance in dealing with young women?
* 32:02 See and love the youth as the Savior does: We stand in His place and He wants them to be taught leadership and motherhood skills. Being the Lord’s instrument and mouthpiece. Approaching those who are resistant.
* 33:53 Know the mantle of the calling: Inspiration is available. The Lord fills in the gaps. The “law of compensation.” Witnessing miracles.
* 36:41 Seek revelation and be in tune to the promptings of the Holy Ghost: Many need us and are on their needs asking for help. Be in tune to know what God wants you to do to respond to their prayers.
* 39:31 Magnify the Lord’s love in all our efforts: He will magnify you in your calling and that magnifying component can last long after your official efforts/calling have ended.

* 41:50 Let the girls be leaders and offer ideas that will change their lives: Excellent example of young women, with the relief society’s assistance, deepening relationships and fulfilling a Personal Progress requirement through a group quilting project.



Concluding Thought on Discipleship

43:36 How has being a leader helped you to be a better follower and disciple of Jesus Christ? Kimber’s response: In this life we can represent our Savior and say the things He would say and do if He were here. I have seen my joy magnified in every aspect of my life. The joy in our home luminates because of service. It is a gift to have the privilege and ability to serve.]]>
Leading Saints clean 47:30
Approaching Difficult Conversations as a Leader | An Interview With John Stoker https://leadingsaints.org/approaching-difficult-conversations-as-a-leader-an-interview-with-john-stoker/ Sun, 17 Dec 2017 08:27:53 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=38740 John Stoker currently lives in Springville, Utah and is the President and CEO of DialogueWORKS. John earned a masters degree in Organizational Behavior at Brigham Young University and has had an exciting career. His career has taken him all over the country and he even went back to Law school and practiced as a criminal defense attorney. DialogueWORKS helps leaders to develop communication and thinking skills that will help them be more effective with the people that they manage in the organizations that they lead. They help businesses to shift their paradigm by teaching courses on communication, leadership development, or emotional intelligence and critical thinking. In short, they help leaders get out of their "stinking thinking” by helping them achieve results, build relationships, and create respect. John is also the author of Overcoming Fake Talk. Episode Summary Served as a Bishop at BYU 2:50 “What should I do with this person, having a difficult conversation” 5:08 Worry/avoid the conversation and when they do have it they don’t do it well Avoid and compound the problem Handling poor performance 7:40 Address the the issue one-on-one not with the whole team 4 Steps in having a difficult conversation 12:00 1st Step Initiate: Starting the conversation Identify the intent for holding the conversation. What do you want to happen? Create an Attention Check “Can we talk?” 12:43 Share data that you have or are experiencing and interoperation of the data. “I noticed…I’m wondering, thinking, or believing…” Start with data and then share your perspective 14:25 2nd Step Discovery: Ask as many questions that you can 17:05 Confirming Question: Have I or Is it accurate? Learning question: What’s going on? Write down questions: What do I not know? What do I need to know? 3rd Step Connect: 30:32 Summarize their perspective first, then add yours. “If I understand correctly… Does that make sense?" Share your expectations & natural consequences 4th Step Build: 38:00 Create Accountability Build Plan: It needs to be their solution What have you tried? What has worked? What hasn’t worked? Get commitment to plan Will you do this? Connects to motivation Can you do this? Connects to ability Is there anything you need from me? Connects to support The answers to these questions become the facts for the next conversation. “Last month when we talked you said…” Read the persons reaction to check their commitment level General encouragement for leaders 45:40 Prepare: Sit down, think about the person and the context Don’t judge: Learn to suspend judgement and realize we don’t know as much as we think Ask more questions. Listen John Stoker currently lives in Springville, Utah and is the President and CEO of DialogueWORKS. John earned a masters degree in Organizational Behavior at Brigham Young University and has had an exciting career.

John Stoker currently lives in Springville, Utah and is the President and CEO of DialogueWORKS. John earned a masters degree in Organizational Behavior at Brigham Young University and has had an exciting career. His career has taken him all over the country and he even went back to Law school and practiced as a criminal defense attorney. DialogueWORKS helps leaders to develop communication and thinking skills that will help them be more effective with the people that they manage in the organizations that they lead. They help businesses to shift their paradigm by teaching courses on communication, leadership development, or emotional intelligence and critical thinking. In short, they help leaders get out of their "stinking thinking” by helping them achieve results, build relationships, and create respect. John is also the author of Overcoming Fake Talk.
Episode Summary

* Served as a Bishop at BYU 2:50
* “What should I do with this person, having a difficult conversation” 5:08

* Worry/avoid the conversation and when they do have it they don’t do it well
* Avoid and compound the problem


* Handling poor performance 7:40

* Address the the issue one-on-one not with the whole team


* 4 Steps in having a difficult conversation 12:00

* 1st Step Initiate: Starting the conversation

* Identify the intent for holding the conversation. What do you want to happen?
* Create an Attention Check “Can we talk?” 12:43
* Share data that you have or are experiencing and interoperation of the data. “I noticed…I’m wondering, thinking, or believing…”
* Start with data and then share your perspective 14:25


* 2nd Step Discovery: Ask as many questions that you can 17:05

* Confirming Question:

* Have I or Is it accurate?


* Learning question:

* What’s going on?


* Write down questions:

* What do I not know?
* What do I need to know?




* 3rd Step Connect: 30:32

* Summarize their perspective first, then add yours. “If I understand correctly… Does that make sense?"
* Share your expectations & natural consequences


* 4th Step Build: 38:00 Create Accountability

* Build Plan: It needs to be their solution

* What have you tried? What has worked? What hasn’t worked?


* Get commitment to plan

* Will you do this? Connects to motivation
* Can you do this? Connects to ability
* Is there anything you need from me? Connects to support
* The answers to these questions become the facts for the next conversation. “Last month when we talked you said…”


* Read the persons reaction to check their commitment level




* General encouragement for leaders 45:40

* Prepare: Sit down, think about the person and the context
* Don’t judge: Learn to suspend judgement and realize we don’t know as much as we think
* Ask more questions.
* Listen


]]>
Leading Saints clean 49:34
How I Lead as CEO & Bishop | An Interview With Don Adams https://leadingsaints.org/how-i-lead-as-ceo-bishop-an-interview-with-don-adams/ Sun, 10 Dec 2017 08:00:20 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=38592 Don Adams is the CEO of Bear River Mutual in Utah. He was born and raised on a farm in southeast Idaho and served in the military before graduating from Brigham Young University and becoming an elementary school teacher. In 1974 he began working in the insurance industry and has continued doing so ever since. He served a mission to the Central States mission and has served in various church leadership callings, including as a Bishop. In this podcast, Kurt talks with Brother Adams about the experiences he has had in church and business leadership positions and how specific principles can apply to both. Episode Highlights (9:40) How do you create and transfer passion? If done correctly, it's a noble cause if you treat people well (17:45) The importance of being an example as a teacher Think through the process and who your audience is. Establish a relationship with your audience. Help audience to feel comfortable with you establishes a "safe zone" where audience is more likely to listen. (21:00) Establishing rapport with someone. Taking the time to get to know them. "go where they go" Good questions to ask to help someone open up. Quit talking and let them talk. (27:20) Effective youth interviews Limit quantity of questions and keep them open-ended. If they're not responding, don't make a big deal about it. (35:15) How can you get "an honest day's work" from individuals in church callings? (39:30) Teaching others to become leaders "Are you prepared to allow them to fail?" Leadership Principles (31:30) Principle #1: Your attitude sets the tone. (43:45) Principle #2: Don't be afraid to fail. (49:00) Principle #3: Continue to learn. (57:15) Principle #4: Live by your values and principle Don Adams is the CEO of Bear River Mutual in Utah. He was born and raised on a farm in southeast Idaho and served in the military before graduating from Brigham Young University and becoming an elementary school teacher. Bear River Mutual in Utah. He was born and raised on a farm in southeast Idaho and served in the military before graduating from Brigham Young University and becoming an elementary school teacher. In 1974 he began working in the insurance industry and has continued doing so ever since. He served a mission to the Central States mission and has served in various church leadership callings, including as a Bishop. In this podcast, Kurt talks with Brother Adams about the experiences he has had in church and business leadership positions and how specific principles can apply to both.
Episode Highlights

* (9:40) How do you create and transfer passion?

* If done correctly, it's a noble cause if you treat people well


* (17:45) The importance of being an example as a teacher

* Think through the process and who your audience is.
* Establish a relationship with your audience.
* Help audience to feel comfortable with you establishes a "safe zone" where audience is more likely to listen.


* (21:00) Establishing rapport with someone.

* Taking the time to get to know them.
* "go where they go"
* Good questions to ask to help someone open up.
* Quit talking and let them talk.


* (27:20) Effective youth interviews

* Limit quantity of questions and keep them open-ended.
* If they're not responding, don't make a big deal about it.


* (35:15) How can you get "an honest day's work" from individuals in church callings?
* (39:30) Teaching others to become leaders

* "Are you prepared to allow them to fail?"



Leadership Principles

* (31:30) Principle #1: Your attitude sets the tone.
* (43:45) Principle #2: Don't be afraid to fail.
* (49:00) Principle #3: Continue to learn.
* (57:15) Principle #4: Live by your values and principle
]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:04:37
Leading OCD Mormons | An Interview With Kari & Jamund Ferguson https://leadingsaints.org/leading-ocd-mormons-an-interview-with-kari-jamund-ferguson/ Sun, 03 Dec 2017 08:26:21 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=38409 Kari Ferguson is a wife, mother, BYU graduate, returned missionary, author and experienced local church leader, presently serving as a relief society president. She has also suffered for many years from obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and anxiety. Kari and Jamund, her husband of nine years, reside in Vancouver, Washington and are the parents of two children. Kari can also be found on LDS Living and The Mighty. Her newest book is The OCD Mormon: Finding Healing and Hope in the Midst of Anxiety. Following is a summary of their podcast interview in which Kari and Jamund discuss symptoms of OCD and its debilitating effects. Suggestions are offered as to how LDS leaders can exhibit sensitivity, and help OCD sufferers in their flock in ways that do not marginalize them or trivialize their condition. Many people with OCD and acute anxiety are very capable of rendering high-quality service in the ward, but it helps to understand what they are up against. The interview concludes with a description of a planned March 3, 2018 conference devoted to OCD/anxiety disorders among church members. It will be held in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. Episode Highlights 4:35—What prompted Kari to write her new book, as a follow-up to an earlier book and her blogsite: https://www.theocdmormon.com. 6:15—Jamund describes meeting Kari and relates his own family background dealing with a parent’s bi-polar disorder, making him more sensitive to the needs of someone with Kari’s condition. 8:08—Kari’s symptoms described; previous issues while serving as primary president; being supported by her husband; being called as relief society president by a bishop who became aware of her condition; learning to delegate; not comparing oneself to the last person who occupied the same position/calling. 12:13—Dealing with the stigma; more symptoms described (hoarding, fear of contamination, hit-and-run fears, tapping, etc.). OCD sufferers tend to hide it with facades, and too many are not getting needed help. 15:04—Knowing when professional intervention is required; living a balanced and healthy life; constant need for reassurance; obsessing over repentance; leaders can recommend professional help without giving offense; missing work and losing sleep; getting “sick” at last minute to avoid social situations; avoiding shopping for fear of contamination. 20:26—The big decision for Kari to seek professional counseling; feeling like a failure; the challenge of finding the “right” therapist. 22:25—Medicine, therapy or both? Changing behavior vs masking it; developing coping skills; perfectionism. 25:04—Is the root cause of a person’s OCD irrelevant? OCD can steal your life; cognitive-behavior therapy; international OCD website; retraining the brain; church leader empathy alone is likely not sufficient to help a person overcome acute OCD. 29:00—Religious scrupulosity/perfectionism; LDS Family Services or another path for intervention? Spousal support. 33:00—Healing and coping will often require more than reading scriptures, praying more often and attending the temple. Connection between mental and spiritual; leaders should avoid tendency towards on-the-spot diagnosis. Leader listening skills paramount. 40:00— Decreasing the stigma and creating a culture/climate where it can be discussed in a healthy way at the ward level. Reference to an apostle who dealt with some mental health issues. 45:23—Just how capable are people with OCD—can they serve in leadership capacity? Allowing for flexibility in how things are done. 52:45—If you are a sufferer, set realistic expectations for yourself; essential vs. non-essential decisions. Kari’s envelope-licking issue. 55:40—Does a person ever get totally cured? More on symptoms and coping mechanisms. 58:20—Why leaders should make room for people to serve, even if they have issues. 1:00:00—More on scrupulosity, perfectionism and constant guilt; feelings of being beyond the rea... Kari Ferguson is a wife, mother, BYU graduate, returned missionary, author and experienced local church leader, presently serving as a relief society president. She has also suffered for many years from obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and anxiety. The OCD Mormon: Finding Healing and Hope in the Midst of Anxiety. Following is a summary of their podcast interview in which Kari and Jamund discuss symptoms of OCD and its debilitating effects. Suggestions are offered as to how LDS leaders can exhibit sensitivity, and help OCD sufferers in their flock in ways that do not marginalize them or trivialize their condition. Many people with OCD and acute anxiety are very capable of rendering high-quality service in the ward, but it helps to understand what they are up against. The interview concludes with a description of a planned March 3, 2018 conference devoted to OCD/anxiety disorders among church members. It will be held in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building.


Episode Highlights

* 4:35—What prompted Kari to write her new book, as a follow-up to an earlier book and her blogsite: https://www.theocdmormon.com.
* 6:15—Jamund describes meeting Kari and relates his own family background dealing with a parent’s bi-polar disorder, making him more sensitive to the needs of someone with Kari’s condition.
* 8:08—Kari’s symptoms described; previous issues while serving as primary president; being supported by her husband; being called as relief society president by a bishop who became aware of her condition; learning to delegate; not comparing oneself to the last person who occupied the same position/calling.
* 12:13—Dealing with the stigma; more symptoms described (hoarding, fear of contamination, hit-and-run fears, tapping, etc.). OCD sufferers tend to hide it with facades, and too many are not getting needed help.
* 15:04—Knowing when professional intervention is required; living a balanced and healthy life; constant need for reassurance; obsessing over repentance; leaders can recommend professional help without giving offense; missing work and losing sleep; getting “sick” at last minute to avoid social situations; avoiding shopping for fear of contamination.
* 20:26—The big decision for Kari to seek professional counseling; feeling like a failure; the challenge of finding the “right” therapist.
* 22:25—Medicine, therapy or both? Changing behavior vs masking it; developing coping skills; perfectionism.
* 25:04—Is the root cause of a person’s OCD irrelevant? OCD can steal your life; cognitive-behavior therapy; international OCD website; retraining the brain; church leader empathy alone is likely not sufficient to help a person overcome acute OCD.
* 29:00—Religious scrupulosity/perfectionism; LDS Family Services or another path for intervention? Spousal support.
* 33:00—Healing and coping will often require more than reading scriptures, praying more often and attending the temple. Connection between mental and spiritual; leaders should avoid tendency towards on-the-spot diagnosis. Leader listening skills paramount.
* 40:00— Decreasing the stigma and creating a culture/climate where it can be discussed in a healthy way at the ward level. Reference to an apostle who dealt with some mental health issues.
* 45:23—Just how capable are people with OCD—can they serve in leadership capacity? Allowing for flexibility in how things are done.
* 52:45—If you are a sufferer, set realistic expectations for yourself; essential vs. non-essential decisions. Kari’s envelope-licking issue.
]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:18:55
How to Lift Your Missionary & Unify Your Family Through Letters | An Interview With Robert & Shauri Quinn https://leadingsaints.org/how-to-lift-your-missionary-unify-your-family-through-letters-an-interview-with-robert-shauri-quinn/ Sun, 26 Nov 2017 08:00:11 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=38170 Robert and Shauri Quinn are a father, daughter duo who has put together a remarkable book titled Letter from Home: How to Lift Your Missionary & Unify Your Family. This book is a perfect read for families and leaders that are striving to connect with a missionary in their life. In this intervew we talk with Robert and Shauri and discuss what principles leaders need to understand in order to better prepare the future missionary and their family in order to grow closer together when they are serving far apart from each other. Interview Highlights: Bob & Shauri's background (7:00) When they realized they had a book (14:00) How Bob set expectations with his children to be extraordinary missionaries (17:20) The discover of this powerful letter writing process (23:00) Putting a letter writing plan together with the entire family (28:00) Who is the missionaries' most interested investigator? (32:30) How to influence missionaries to improve their letter writing to their family (38:30) How leaders can use this resource to help future missionaries be better letter writers (48:00) How leaders can apply these same principles to their quorums and wards (53:00) Some simple tactics to help you start writing better letters today (57:00) Links: Buy the book Letters From Home Website & Blog Robert and Shauri Quinn are a father, daughter duo who has put together a remarkable book titled Letter from Home: How to Lift Your Missionary & Unify Your Family. This book is a perfect read for families and leaders that are striving to connect with a... Letter from Home: How to Lift Your Missionary & Unify Your Family. This book is a perfect read for families and leaders that are striving to connect with a missionary in their life.

In this intervew we talk with Robert and Shauri and discuss what principles leaders need to understand in order to better prepare the future missionary and their family in order to grow closer together when they are serving far apart from each other.
Interview Highlights:

Bob & Shauri's background (7:00)
When they realized they had a book (14:00)
How Bob set expectations with his children to be extraordinary missionaries (17:20)
The discover of this powerful letter writing process (23:00)
Putting a letter writing plan together with the entire family (28:00)
Who is the missionaries' most interested investigator? (32:30)
How to influence missionaries to improve their letter writing to their family (38:30)
* How leaders can use this resource to help future missionaries be better letter writers (48:00)
* How leaders can apply these same principles to their quorums and wards (53:00)
* Some simple tactics to help you start writing better letters today (57:00)

Links:

Buy the book
* Letters From Home Website & Blog
]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:05:35
Be an Instrument in the Lord’s Hands | An Interview With Jenny Oaks Baker | #LighttheWorld https://leadingsaints.org/be-an-instrument-in-the-lords-hands-an-interview-with-jenny-oaks-baker-lighttheworld/ Sun, 19 Nov 2017 06:11:20 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=38022 Interview Transcript Available Below Jenny Oaks Baker is the daughter of Elder Dallin H. Oaks (4:15) Jenny started playing violin at age 4 and she says that her faith evolved as her talent evolved. She saw her prayers answered as she performed and was able to be comforted and to do her best. She was also strengthened by priesthood blessings. She received her Bachelor’s degree from The Curtis Institute of Music in Philadelphia and her Master’s degree at Julliard. She met her husband while attending Juilliard and they were married in the temple. She was invited to join the National Symphony and continued with them until her 4th child was born. Heavenly Father has blessed her with lots of opportunities to perform since that time. She was nominated for a Grammy for her “When you Wish upon a Star” album. She talks about receiving her Grammy nomination and how grateful she was for that honor and how it opened doors for her. She realizes the gift that it was, and is grateful for her affiliation with Shadow Mountain Records. Her husband and family help to keep her centered. She is busy raising them, keeping things done at home, and doing her music on the side. 2:55 - spoke of re-evaluating her music career. 6:26 - She practiced violin hours and hours a day. Her patriarchal blessing indicated that Heavenly Father had a plan for her. She says her parents encouraged her to reach her potential. She is very grateful that the Lord has lit her path. 8:06 - How do we encourage children in their musical talents? She always hated practicing, but knew she needed to practice to play well. She loved to perform and so she would practice to perform. Her mother would set up home performances, community performances and many opportunities for her to perform, which helped her to improve. Those performances kept her going. The performances keep her practicing. She LOVES to perform. Now, she only practices when she has a performance. She doesn’t practice now just to practice, due to busy home, children. As she grew, it became more about sharing her gift with others and reaching her potential. 11:44 – Finding her gift for music: The moment she found her “gift” was when she was asked to play for Pres. Hinckley’s 90th birthday celebration in the conference center. Since she knew she loved to perform, and she wanted to showcase her talent. She was 22 and just completed her Masters. She offered some violin virtuoso pieces as options. President Hinckley requested something slower and more well known. This was a disappointment, and wondered how that would “show her skills”. But she offered “Believe me if all those endearing young charms”, and “Hoedown from Rodeo”. Pres. Hinckley requested only the slow piece and she was really worried. Before the performance, the producer spoke to those performing and reminded them that the program wasn’t about them, but it was about President Hinckley and bringing people together and feeling the unity of the church. The chosen song fit so beautifully into the program. It was a great lesson in following the prophet, and that he knew more about music than she did, even though she had just graduated from Juilliard. This helped me become a different artist. How can my music impact people and touch them and bring them together and help them feel Gods love. It’s not about “showing people how I play”, it is a bigger purpose. When she needs to be reminded what she is doing it for - she says, “The Lord will have a humble Jenny”. 16:40 – Being an instrument in the Lords hands: It’s not about us, but about how we share our gifts. This is a good message for lay leaders, about how they can learn and grow and serve and become an instrument in Gods hand. She relayed a memory of a talk by her father to missionaries, using a pen as an object lesson. The pen does what the master requires. He encouraged them to be an instrument in the Lord’s hand. We can be more effective as a tool for Him. Interview Transcript Available Below - Jenny Oaks Baker is the daughter of Elder Dallin H. Oaks (4:15) Jenny started playing violin at age 4 and she says that her faith evolved as her talent evolved. She saw her prayers answered as she performed and w...
Jenny Oaks Baker is the daughter of Elder Dallin H. Oaks (4:15) Jenny started playing violin at age 4 and she says that her faith evolved as her talent evolved. She saw her prayers answered as she performed and was able to be comforted and to do her best. She was also strengthened by priesthood blessings. She received her Bachelor’s degree from The Curtis Institute of Music in Philadelphia and her Master’s degree at Julliard. She met her husband while attending Juilliard and they were married in the temple. She was invited to join the National Symphony and continued with them until her 4th child was born. Heavenly Father has blessed her with lots of opportunities to perform since that time. She was nominated for a Grammy for her “When you Wish upon a Star” album. She talks about receiving her Grammy nomination and how grateful she was for that honor and how it opened doors for her. She realizes the gift that it was, and is grateful for her affiliation with Shadow Mountain Records. Her husband and family help to keep her centered. She is busy raising them, keeping things done at home, and doing her music on the side. 2:55 - spoke of re-evaluating her music career.

6:26 - She practiced violin hours and hours a day. Her patriarchal blessing indicated that Heavenly Father had a plan for her. She says her parents encouraged her to reach her potential. She is very grateful that the Lord has lit her path.

8:06 - How do we encourage children in their musical talents? She always hated practicing, but knew she needed to practice to play well. She loved to perform and so she would practice to perform. Her mother would set up home performances, community performances and many opportunities for her to perform, which helped her to improve. Those performances kept her going. The performances keep her practicing. She LOVES to perform. Now, she only practices when she has a performance. She doesn’t practice now just to practice, due to busy home, children. As she grew, it became more about sharing her gift with others and reaching her potential.

11:44 – Finding her gift for music: The moment she found her “gift” was when she was asked to play for Pres. Hinckley’s 90th birthday celebration in the conference center. Since she knew she loved to perform, and she wanted to showcase her talent. She was 22 and just completed her Masters. She offered some violin virtuoso pieces as options. President Hinckley requested something slower and more well known. This was a disappointment, and wondered how that would “show her skills”. But she offered “Believe me if all those endearing young charms”, and “Hoedown from Rodeo”. Pres. Hinckley requested only the slow piece and she was really worried. Before the performance, the producer spoke to those performing and reminded them that the program wasn’t about them, but it was about President Hinckley and bringing people together and feeling the unity of the church. The chosen song fit so beautifully into the program. It was a great lesson in following the prophet, and that he knew more about music than she did, even though she had just graduated from Juilliard. This helped me become a different artist. How can my music impact people and touch them and bring them together and help them feel Gods love. It’s not about “showing people how I play”, it is a bigger purpose. When she needs to be reminded what she is doing it for - she says, “The Lord will have a humble Jenny”.

16:40 – Being an instrument in the Lords hands: It’s not about us, but about how we share our gifts. This is a good message for lay leaders, about how they can learn and grow and serve and become an instrument in Gods hand. She relayed a memory of a talk by her father to missionaries, using a pen as an object lesson. The pen does what the master requires. He encouraged them to be an instrument in the Lord’s hand.]]>
Leading Saints clean 40:05
How I Lead as Clerk | An Interview With Brandt Malone, Host of the Mormon News Report https://leadingsaints.org/how-i-lead-as-clerk-an-interview-with-brandt-malone-host-of-the-mormon-news-report/ Sun, 12 Nov 2017 08:13:38 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=37870 Brandt Malone is a current Young Men's president who was recently released from serving as ward clerk. He lives in Michigan with his family and is the host of the Mormon News Report podcast. In this episode Brandt discusses how to lighten the load of the bishop as a ward clerk. 12:45 Who is Brandt Malone? 20:00 Ward clerk calling 22:30 Demographic of ward in Michigan 31:00 Ward clerk and Executive secretary working as the 3rd and 4th counselor to the bishop. 34:00 Disagreeing with the bishop 37:00 Bishopric meeting being a safe environment 40:00 Confident leaders are confident with other leaders that see things differently. 40:50 5 leadership principles- #1 There's always work to do. 43:00 Keeping balance 44:00 Technology makes callings easier. 45:45 Starting out as ward clerk 47:30 #2- Don't expect hand holding. 50:00 Unknown records tips- find your own system. 51:15 #3- Always offer to help. 56:00 #4- Respect the bishop's time- don't expect him to micromanage you. 1:00:39 Relationships matter. 106:00 Be an active not a passive ward clerk Brandt Malone is a current Young Men's president who was recently released from serving as ward clerk. He lives in Michigan with his family and is the host of the Mormon News Report podcast. In this episode Brandt discusses how to lighten the load of t... Mormon News Report podcast. In this episode Brandt discusses how to lighten the load of the bishop as a ward clerk.

* 12:45 Who is Brandt Malone?
* 20:00 Ward clerk calling
* 22:30 Demographic of ward in Michigan
* 31:00 Ward clerk and Executive secretary working as the 3rd and 4th counselor to the bishop.
* 34:00 Disagreeing with the bishop
* 37:00 Bishopric meeting being a safe environment
* 40:00 Confident leaders are confident with other leaders that see things differently.
* 40:50 5 leadership principles- #1 There's always work to do.
* 43:00 Keeping balance
* 44:00 Technology makes callings easier.
* 45:45 Starting out as ward clerk
* 47:30 #2- Don't expect hand holding.
* 50:00 Unknown records tips- find your own system.
* 51:15 #3- Always offer to help.
* 56:00 #4- Respect the bishop's time- don't expect him to micromanage you.
* 1:00:39 Relationships matter.
* 106:00 Be an active not a passive ward clerk
]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:11:40
Around the Globe on November 28 | #GivingTuesday https://leadingsaints.org/around-the-globe-on-november-28-givingtuesday/ Thu, 09 Nov 2017 21:27:18 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=37791 On November 28, 2017 we will be taking a virtual trip around the globe to visit lay leaders in the Church in every timezone! It will be an event you do not want to miss. For full details visit the #GivingTuesday page. On November 28, 2017 we will be taking a virtual trip around the globe to visit lay leaders in the Church in every timezone! It will be an event you do not want to miss. - For full details visit the #GivingTuesday page.
For full details visit the #GivingTuesday page.]]>
Leading Saints clean 10:32
How I Lead With District Leaders | An Interview With Matthew Stevens https://leadingsaints.org/matthew-stevens-summary/ Sun, 05 Nov 2017 11:00:36 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=37627 Matt Stevens is a recently released elder’s quorum president in Parker, Colorado. Originally from the Salt Lake Valley, Matt served a mission in northern Argentina and has spent many years as a member of the ward council and priesthood executive committee as a ward mission leader, young men’s president, activities co-chair, and elder’s quorum president. He has also served as an early-morning seminary teacher. Professionally, Brother Stevens is a dentist, having practiced for eight years. He and his wife have lived in Chapel Hill, N.C. and in Oregon before settling in Colorado, and they have four children. As quorum president he was dedicated to the principle of empowering and giving ownership to his counselors, secretary and home teaching district leaders, as well as quorum members. Episode Summary The call to serve as quorum president: 7:55 Scope of responsibility 11:10: Ward size, growth rate and other dynamics. Continuity amid change. Using District Leaders Effectively by Empowerment, Clear Delegation and Trust: 15:20: Organizing to help people move. Getting beyond reliance on “Same Ten People” doing the bulk of the work. Making assignments versus asking for volunteers. Dealing with new move-ins. Support for home teaching companionships. Inclusiveness. Setting apart district leaders. Meet to discuss home teaching “best practices.” District break-out sections during quorum meetings. Share things learned from “failures.” Presidency Meetings: 28:00 Flexibility in selecting meeting times and respecting family priorities. Handling of some administrative matters offline, electronically. Counselor ownership for districts. Home Teaching Designed to Meet Family Needs: 31:29: Determine with the family what constitutes “effective home teaching” in their eyes. Understand Church Handbook meaning of “regular” home teaching. Using district leaders for more than simply gathering numbers. Insight from classic general conference discourse by Elder Holland on home teaching. Five Leadership Principles: Validation through genuine appreciation: 36:00 Lead by Listening, Modeling Supportive Behaviors and Being Authentic: 42:00 Trust and Empower Counselors and Secretaries with Meaningful Assignments: 48:30 Administrative “Minimalism” and Focus on Ministering: 54:30 “Don’t Be a Squeaky Wheel on the Ward Wagon” (helping the bishop vs unloading problems on him) 58:40 How Leading Helps Me to Be a Better Follower: Hard work, grace and self-discovery (Fully invested or just a consumer?) 101:50 Matt Stevens is a recently released elder’s quorum president in Parker, Colorado. Originally from the Salt Lake Valley, Matt served a mission in northern Argentina and has spent many years as a member of the ward council and priesthood executive commit... Episode Summary
The call to serve as quorum president: 7:55

Scope of responsibility 11:10: Ward size, growth rate and other dynamics. Continuity amid change.

Using District Leaders Effectively by Empowerment, Clear Delegation and Trust: 15:20: Organizing to help people move. Getting beyond reliance on “Same Ten People” doing the bulk of the work. Making assignments versus asking for volunteers. Dealing with new move-ins. Support for home teaching companionships. Inclusiveness. Setting apart district leaders. Meet to discuss home teaching “best practices.” District break-out sections during quorum meetings. Share things learned from “failures.”

Presidency Meetings: 28:00 Flexibility in selecting meeting times and respecting family priorities. Handling of some administrative matters offline, electronically. Counselor ownership for districts.

Home Teaching Designed to Meet Family Needs: 31:29: Determine with the family what constitutes “effective home teaching” in their eyes. Understand Church Handbook meaning of “regular” home teaching. Using district leaders for more than simply gathering numbers. Insight from classic general conference discourse by Elder Holland on home teaching.
Five Leadership Principles:

* Validation through genuine appreciation: 36:00
* Lead by Listening, Modeling Supportive Behaviors and Being Authentic: 42:00
* Trust and Empower Counselors and Secretaries with Meaningful Assignments: 48:30
* Administrative “Minimalism” and Focus on Ministering: 54:30
* “Don’t Be a Squeaky Wheel on the Ward Wagon” (helping the bishop vs unloading problems on him) 58:40

How Leading Helps Me to Be a Better Follower: Hard work, grace and self-discovery (Fully invested or just a consumer?) 101:50]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:07:16
What Every Bishop Needs to Understand About Betrayal Trauma https://leadingsaints.org/what-every-bishop-needs-to-understand-about-betrayal-trauma/ Sun, 29 Oct 2017 03:10:32 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=37417 Interview Transcript Available Below In this episode we interview Dr. Jill Manning, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and Anne Blythe, Director of Betrayal Trauma Recovery. Jill Manning is a PhD level marriage and family councilor and has been practicing for 17 years. She is on two national boards, Enough is Enough and App Status.  She lives in Colorado. Anne Blythe spent seven years trying to save her marriage as her husband battled a pornography addiction. She currently coaches women online who are going through a similar situation. She has a website and hosts a podcast, Betrayal Trauma Recovery. Her website and podcast are dedicated to helping support women through this trauma.   Episode Highlights 2:26 Betrayal trauma is when someone who loves you violates your trust in a critical way. This betrayal can happen to these victims multiple times. 9:36 Anne struggled to put the pieces together in the midst of her trauma and recognize this was in an abusive relationship. 11:13 Sometimes Bishops can have a hard time helping couples through these pornography addictions as two different perspectives are shared, ”he said, she said”   12:11 For Anne going to church during this time was extremely difficult. She kept going because she knew it was right. 13:51 As a Mormon culture we are a trusting people. That can make it hard dealing with addicts who are not always honest due to shame and minimizing the situation. They can also gas light the situation and manipulate reality. 14:36 When helping in the “he said, she said” situations step back and evaluate who is motivated by what. 15:41 It can take women some time to realize they are in an abusive relationship 18:50 It can take months or years to get the full story from the addict. Help teach them that it is ok and normal to spotlight the situation. 21:52 The addict is not mentally capable of divulging everything at once. 22:13 The spouse can be the barometer for what is really happening. 24:21 Secondary Trauma is trauma that comes from asking for help and feeling dismissed. 26:19 For the victims it can help to see action being taken and the addict held accountable. 30:44  Consuming pornography is unrighteous dominion. 31:29  Emotional, spiritual, and financial, abuse is real and often linked to pornography addiction. 34:11  Studies have shown that 2/3 of people struggling with pornography addiction have been found to have a mood disorder. Those studies also show that 44 percent have a personality disorder and narcissistic traits. 34:14 Three studies have shown that 71 percent of women meet the criteria for PTSD as victims of their spouses pornography addiction. 35:29  Zoom into helping the victims with safety first. That includes being physically and spiritual safe. 37:35 Lean on Heavenly Father to help you through this and always establish emotional safety.  Resources and Links: Enough is Enough Betrayal Trauma Recovery  Steve and Kayla's Story of Sexual Addiction and Recovery Jill Manning's Website Interview Transcript: Kurt Francom: Today we are welcoming into the podcast Jill Manning and Anne Blythe. Dr Jill Manning: Doing well. Anne Blythe: Great. Kurt Francom: Jill, maybe let's start with you. Tell us about your background. What does the Leading Saints world need to know [00:05:00] about you and what you offer to this discussion? Dr Jill Manning: Sure. I'm a PhD level marriage and family therapist. I've been practicing for approximately 17 years now. I'm from Canada originally, but based in Colorado. I sit on two national boards, Enough is Enough, which focuses on internet safety, and also APSATS, which focuses on certifying and training those that are specializing in partners of sex addiction work, and I'm a clinician in private practice. Kurt Francom: Awesome. I love to have a good, solid [00:05:30] expert to throw questions at, for sure. Anne, Interview Transcript Available Below - In this episode we interview Dr. Jill Manning, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and Anne Blythe, Director of Betrayal Trauma Recovery. - Jill Manning is a PhD level marriage and family councilor and ha...
In this episode we interview Dr. Jill Manning, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and Anne Blythe, Director of Betrayal Trauma Recovery.

Jill Manning is a PhD level marriage and family councilor and has been practicing for 17 years. She is on two national boards, Enough is Enough and App Status.  She lives in Colorado.

Anne Blythe spent seven years trying to save her marriage as her husband battled a pornography addiction. She currently coaches women online who are going through a similar situation. She has a website and hosts a podcast, Betrayal Trauma Recovery. Her website and podcast are dedicated to helping support women through this trauma.  
Episode Highlights

* 2:26 Betrayal trauma is when someone who loves you violates your trust in a critical way. This betrayal can happen to these victims multiple times.
* 9:36 Anne struggled to put the pieces together in the midst of her trauma and recognize this was in an abusive relationship.
* 11:13 Sometimes Bishops can have a hard time helping couples through these pornography addictions as two different perspectives are shared, ”he said, she said”  
* 12:11 For Anne going to church during this time was extremely difficult. She kept going because she knew it was right.
* 13:51 As a Mormon culture we are a trusting people. That can make it hard dealing with addicts who are not always honest due to shame and minimizing the situation. They can also gas light the situation and manipulate reality.
* 14:36 When helping in the “he said, she said” situations step back and evaluate who is motivated by what.
* 15:41 It can take women some time to realize they are in an abusive relationship
* 18:50 It can take months or years to get the full story from the addict. Help teach them that it is ok and normal to spotlight the situation.
* 21:52 The addict is not mentally capable of divulging everything at once.
* 22:13 The spouse can be the barometer for what is really happening.
* 24:21 Secondary Trauma is trauma that comes from asking for help and feeling dismissed.
* 26:19 For the victims it can help to see action being taken and the addict held accountable.
* 30:44  Consuming pornography is unrighteous dominion.
* 31:29  Emotional, spiritual, and financial, abuse is real and often linked to pornography addiction.
* 34:11  Studies have shown that 2/3 of people struggling with pornography addiction have been found to have a mood disorder. Those studies also show that 44 percent have a personality disorder and narcissistic traits.
* 34:14 Three studies have shown that 71 percent of women meet the criteria for PTSD as victims of their spouses pornography addiction.
* 35:29  Zoom into helping the victims with safety first. That includes being physically and spiritual safe.
* 37:35 Lean on Heavenly Father to help you through this and always establish emotional safety. 

Resources and Links:

* Enough is Enough
* Betrayal Trauma Recovery 
* Steve and Kayla's Story of Sexual Addiction and Recovery
* Jill Manning's Website

Interview Transcript:
Kurt Francom: Today we are welcoming into the podcast Jill Manning and Anne Blythe.

Dr Jill Manning: Doing well.

]]>
Leading Saints clean 45:37
Becoming a Master Interviewer | An Interview With David Farnsworth https://leadingsaints.org/becoming-a-master-interviewer-an-interview-with-david-farnsworth/ Sun, 22 Oct 2017 08:00:27 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=37275 David Farnsworth is a retired leadership and executive coach that spent years helping organization improve their interviewing skills through the 3D Interviewing method. In this episode David explains methods LDS leaders can use in order to improve the effectiveness of 1-to-1 interviews and class room teaching through effective questions. Episode Highlights: (7:15) Why do I want to develop my interviewing skills? The question is how do you see your role? Understanding the leader's role in an interaction (11:35) The Fundamentals Be sincerely interested in others. Reading others accurately. Having the vocabulary to articulate. Be willing to be authentic and consistent. Having a good sense of ourselves (self-awareness). Trust others in their ability to respond. Not seeing yourself as the expert, but to uncouple yourself from having all the answers. (17:45) Drawing the Cube exercise (22:00) The Art of Formulating Focused Questions Preparing questions in advance. Draft good questions. Try to put them in a logical order. Examine questions carefully and fine-tune them. (29:45) Active Listening Paraphrase in your own words what the other person has just said: Leaving the other person in control allows you find out how they think, what they're feeling, etc. Three levels of paraphrasing: What was said? (make sure you're clear about what they've said). How was it said? (for example, "I can see this is difficult for you..."). What was not said? Three reactions to paraphrasing - agreement, correction/clarification, or amplification. (44:20) Summarizing - different than paraphrasing. Pulling together the major points of the discussion or topic (your understanding of the discussion). Same three reactions to summarizing as paraphrasing (agreement, correction/clarification, or amplification). (52:45) Sequencing questions - Getting acquainted example. (55:00) Sequencing questions - Problem-solving example. (58:50) Sequencing questions - Classroom example. (67:00) How can I start interviewing using the 3D-I model? "After Action Review David Farnsworth is a retired leadership and executive coach that spent years helping organization improve their interviewing skills through the 3D Interviewing method. In this episode David explains methods LDS leaders can use in order to improve the ...

David Farnsworth is a retired leadership and executive coach that spent years helping organization improve their interviewing skills through the 3D Interviewing method. In this episode David explains methods LDS leaders can use in order to improve the effectiveness of 1-to-1 interviews and class room teaching through effective questions.
Episode Highlights:

* (7:15) Why do I want to develop my interviewing skills?

* The question is how do you see your role?
* Understanding the leader's role in an interaction


* (11:35) The Fundamentals

* Be sincerely interested in others.
* Reading others accurately.
* Having the vocabulary to articulate.
* Be willing to be authentic and consistent.
* Having a good sense of ourselves (self-awareness).
* Trust others in their ability to respond.
* Not seeing yourself as the expert, but to uncouple yourself from having all the answers.


* (17:45) Drawing the Cube exercise
* (22:00) The Art of Formulating Focused Questions Preparing questions in advance.

* Draft good questions.
* Try to put them in a logical order.
* Examine questions carefully and fine-tune them.


* (29:45) Active Listening

* Paraphrase in your own words what the other person has just said:

* Leaving the other person in control allows you find out how they think, what they're feeling, etc.


* Three levels of paraphrasing:

* What was said? (make sure you're clear about what they've said).
* How was it said? (for example, "I can see this is difficult for you...").
* What was not said?




* Three reactions to paraphrasing - agreement, correction/clarification, or amplification.
* (44:20) Summarizing - different than paraphrasing.

* Pulling together the major points of the discussion or topic (your understanding of the discussion).
* Same three reactions to summarizing as paraphrasing (agreement, correction/clarification, or amplification).


* (52:45) Sequencing questions - Getting acquainted example.
* (55:00) Sequencing questions - Problem-solving example.
* (58:50) Sequencing questions - Classroom example.
* (67:00) How can I start interviewing using the 3D-I model?

* "After Action Review



]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:17:43
How I Lead as a Seventy | An Interview With Elder John H. Groberg https://leadingsaints.org/how-i-lead-as-a-seventy-an-interview-with-elder-john-h-groberg/ Sun, 15 Oct 2017 12:00:39 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=37162 Interview Transcript Available Below Prior to his calling as a general authority seventy, Elder and Sister Groberg (Jean Sabin) lived in Idaho Falls, where Elder Groberg worked in a family-owned residential and commercial construction and land development business with his brothers. He was an eagle scout and holds a BS degree from BYU and an MBA from Indiana University. He served as bishop, mission president in Tonga, and regional representative, before being called to the First Quorum of the Seventy in 1976. In the latter service he served for a time as area president over the Asia, Utah South and North America West areas at various times. On church assignments the Grobergs have lived in Utah, Hong Kong, Idaho Falls, Argentina, Tonga and Hawaii. They have owned a home in Bountiful, Utah since 1978 and served as temple president and matron of the Idaho Falls Temple following service as an active general authority. Elder Groberg has authored five books, typically at the urging of others. His first book, dealing with his experiences as a young missionary in Tonga, was made into a 2001 movie, The Other Side of Heaven, starring Anne Hathaway and Chris Gorham. It was filmed in New Zealand and the Cook Islands and was directed by Mitch Davis. Elder Groberg wrote the book at the urging of President Thomas S. Monson, a member of the First Presidency. Episode Highlights: Why The Other Side of Heaven (Eye of the Storm) Was Written (1:30) Serving as Bishop (12:00) Called to Serve as Mission President (17:41) Serving as a Regional Representative—tantamount to present-day Area Authority Seventy (33:18) Serving as a General Authority (35:39) Serving as President of the Idaho Falls Temple, 2005-2008 (58:10) Links: The Other Side of Heaven John Groberg's Books The Stray Movie Interview Transcript: Kurt Francom: Today, I'm not too far from my home in Bountiful, Utah, in the home of Elder John Groberg. How are you? John Groberg: Just fine. Kurt Francom: Good, I appreciate you taking some time for us to chat. We actually ran into each other. You were at the BYU Bookstore during Education Week. John Groberg: Right. Kurt Francom: Is that something you typically do? John Groberg: No, that was the first time I've done it, in fact. Kurt Francom: Oh, really? John Groberg: Maybe the second. Kurt Francom: And you were kind enough to sign some books for me, and I was a bit nervous, I said, "Hey, would you ever consider doing an interview for my podcast?" And here we are. I appreciate you being open to that. John Groberg: Thank you. Kurt Francom: Now, how long have you lived here in Bountiful? John Groberg: We've been here since 1978. That is, it's been our home base. We've lived in Hong Kong and Argentina and Tonga and Hawaii and Idaho Falls, and during that time we just rented it out, but we've been here just shortly after I was called as a general authority. They asked us to be in the Salt Lake area. Kurt Francom: Now, I'm sure many listening that are ... you were giving conference talks before I was even born, but I remember you and obviously, on my mission, I was serving in Sacramento, California and I remember the day that my mission president called us and said, "Hey, guess what? I'm taking you to a movie." And we thought, "A movie, wow. On our mission, we can go to a movie theater?" And there we went and saw The Other Side of Heaven. And so tell us about that. How did that movie come to be? And for those maybe not familiar with you and your background, what context could you give us? John Groberg: Well, the genesis of it was when I was serving as mission president in Tonga the youngest member of the Quorum of the Twelve at that time, was Thomas S. Monson. Kurt Francom: Oh, wow. John Groberg: And so he was our supervisor. He came many times to Tonga while Jean and I were serving as mission president. And I guess he heard a lot of stories, and shortly after, Interview Transcript Available Below - Prior to his calling as a general authority seventy, Elder and Sister Groberg (Jean Sabin) lived in Idaho Falls, where Elder Groberg worked in a family-owned residential and commercial construction and land devel...
Prior to his calling as a general authority seventy, Elder and Sister Groberg (Jean Sabin) lived in Idaho Falls, where Elder Groberg worked in a family-owned residential and commercial construction and land development business with his brothers. He was an eagle scout and holds a BS degree from BYU and an MBA from Indiana University. He served as bishop, mission president in Tonga, and regional representative, before being called to the First Quorum of the Seventy in 1976. In the latter service he served for a time as area president over the Asia, Utah South and North America West areas at various times. On church assignments the Grobergs have lived in Utah, Hong Kong, Idaho Falls, Argentina, Tonga and Hawaii. They have owned a home in Bountiful, Utah since 1978 and served as temple president and matron of the Idaho Falls Temple following service as an active general authority. Elder Groberg has authored five books, typically at the urging of others. His first book, dealing with his experiences as a young missionary in Tonga, was made into a 2001 movie, The Other Side of Heaven, starring Anne Hathaway and Chris Gorham. It was filmed in New Zealand and the Cook Islands and was directed by Mitch Davis. Elder Groberg wrote the book at the urging of President Thomas S. Monson, a member of the First Presidency.
Episode Highlights:

* Why The Other Side of Heaven (Eye of the Storm) Was Written (1:30)
* Serving as Bishop (12:00)
* Called to Serve as Mission President (17:41)
* Serving as a Regional Representative—tantamount to present-day Area Authority Seventy (33:18)
* Serving as a General Authority (35:39)
* Serving as President of the Idaho Falls Temple, 2005-2008 (58:10)

Links:
The Other Side of Heaven

John Groberg's Books

The Stray Movie
Interview Transcript:
Kurt Francom: Today, I'm not too far from my home in Bountiful, Utah, in the home of Elder John Groberg. How are you?

John Groberg: Just fine.

Kurt Francom: Good, I appreciate you taking some time for us to chat. We actually ran into each other. You were at the BYU Bookstore during Education Week.

John Groberg: Right.

Kurt Francom: Is that something you typically do?

John Groberg: No, that was the first time I've done it, in fact.

Kurt Francom: Oh, really?

John Groberg: Maybe the second.

Kurt Francom: And you were kind enough to sign some books for me, and I was a bit nervous, I said, "Hey, would you ever consider doing an interview for my podcast?" And here we are. I appreciate you being open to that.

John Groberg: Thank you.

Kurt Francom: Now, how long have you lived here in Bountiful?

John Groberg: We've been here since 1978. That is, it's been our home base. We've lived in Hong Kong and Argentina and Tonga and Hawaii and Idaho Falls, and during that time we just rented it out, but we've been here just shortly after I was called as a general authority. They asked us to be in the Salt Lake area.

Kurt Francom: Now, I'm sure many listening that are ... you were giving conference talks before I was even born, but I remember you and obviously, on my mission, I was serving in Sacramento, California and I remember the day that my mission president called us and said, "Hey, guess what? I'm taking you to a movie." And we thought, "A movie, wow. On our mission,]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:05:11
Seeing Church Leadership in 12 Different Countries | An Interview with Jake Carlson https://leadingsaints.org/seeing-church-leadership-in-12-different-countries-an-interview-with-jake-carlson/ Sun, 08 Oct 2017 17:04:24 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=36995 Jake Carlson, MBA/JD, is a leadership development expert and host of the Modern Leadership Podcast. He created the Elite Achiever Academy to encourage leadership through the CIA of Influence (Conviction, Irresistibility & Accountability). He holds a JD in taxation from California Western School of Law, an MBA in Finance from San Diego State University and a BA from Brigham Young University. Additionally, he is the former Chief Operating Officer of the Silicon Valley Monterey Bay Area Council, BSA and Associate Regional Director of the National BSA Foundation. Jake has been a Young Men leader, a Sunday School teacher, and Sunday School president. His passion is leadership, influence, and helping others discover their zone of genius. After a year abroad, Jake, Kari, and their three children settled (for the time being) in Gilbert, Arizona. Recently, Jake and his family returned from spending nearly a year traveling to twelve countries around the world experiencing the cultures and how the church functions. The Carlson family began their journey in the Philippines, where Brother Carlson served his mission, before traveling to Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, Myanmar, Cambodia, Czech republic, Italy, Scotland, England, France, and Wells before returning home to the United States. In the podcast episode, Brother Carlson shares his experiences about the uniqueness of the church in different parts of the world and lessons that he learned as he had opportunities to serve far from home. Enter Jake... In the last year, as a family, we traveled through 12 countries in Asia and Europe, attending 11 different wards, eight branches, one group, and even worshipping in Mandalay, Myanmar, where the Church doesn’t have a presence (yet). Every Sunday provided unique experiences, new friends, and even a few universals (who is teaching Elder’s Quorum this week… anyone?) The Church is awesome wherever you travel; regardless of culture, language, or the poverty within the local geography. We learned a lot, grew closer as a family and saw things our journals will memorialize for generations. We love the Church and found a warm, welcoming church family in every house of worship we attended. The Lord knows the experiences we need and continues to provide opportunities for us to learn. One opportunity in particular changed my understanding of leadership as we passed through Prague, Czech Republic. What started as a two-week stop to see the world-famous Christmas markets turned into 75 days of fun, fellowship, and service. It was there that I learned, really learned, about Sunday School lesson preparation. It happened when a Sunday School teacher asked if I could fill in for her by preparing a Gospel Principles lesson on the Creation for the following week. I agreed. The Czech Republic ocated in Central Europe, east of Germany and north of Austria and has a population over 10 million,  2,500 of which are church members. Formed following the dissolution of Czechoslovakia in 1993, the people have endured many difficult years, including German occupation during World War II and subsequently becoming a one-party communist state. The Church likewise struggled, but the Saints grew strong. For over 40 years, public activity of the Church was prohibited, but members quietly kept their faith, at times sneaking copies of The Book of Mormon into the country with false covers to avoid confiscation. Finally, in 1990, through the efforts of President Monson, the church was granted recognition; there were 345 members. In 2016, President Uchtdorf organized the first stake in the Czech Republic, headquartered in the capital city, Prague. Leadership in the Prague Ward is incredible and missionary work is gathering momentum. Each Sunday, about one quarter of the Prague ward attendance consists of visitors. Sacrament meeting is in Czech, but guests can borrow headphones to listen while the full-time missionaries translate. Jake Carlson, MBA/JD, is a leadership development expert and host of the Modern Leadership Podcast. He created the Elite Achiever Academy to encourage leadership through the CIA of Influence (Conviction, Irresistibility & Accountability). Modern Leadership Podcast. He created the Elite Achiever Academy to encourage leadership through the CIA of Influence (Conviction, Irresistibility & Accountability). He holds a JD in taxation from California Western School of Law, an MBA in Finance from San Diego State University and a BA from Brigham Young University. Additionally, he is the former Chief Operating Officer of the Silicon Valley Monterey Bay Area Council, BSA and Associate Regional Director of the National BSA Foundation. Jake has been a Young Men leader, a Sunday School teacher, and Sunday School president. His passion is leadership, influence, and helping others discover their zone of genius. After a year abroad, Jake, Kari, and their three children settled (for the time being) in Gilbert, Arizona.

Recently, Jake and his family returned from spending nearly a year traveling to twelve countries around the world experiencing the cultures and how the church functions. The Carlson family began their journey in the Philippines, where Brother Carlson served his mission, before traveling to Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, Myanmar, Cambodia, Czech republic, Italy, Scotland, England, France, and Wells before returning home to the United States. In the podcast episode, Brother Carlson shares his experiences about the uniqueness of the church in different parts of the world and lessons that he learned as he had opportunities to serve far from home.
Enter Jake...
In the last year, as a family, we traveled through 12 countries in Asia and Europe, attending 11 different wards, eight branches, one group, and even worshipping in Mandalay, Myanmar, where the Church doesn’t have a presence (yet). Every Sunday provided unique experiences, new friends, and even a few universals (who is teaching Elder’s Quorum this week… anyone?) The Church is awesome wherever you travel; regardless of culture, language, or the poverty within the local geography.

We learned a lot, grew closer as a family and saw things our journals will memorialize for generations. We love the Church and found a warm, welcoming church family in every house of worship we attended. The Lord knows the experiences we need and continues to provide opportunities for us to learn.

One opportunity in particular changed my understanding of leadership as we passed through Prague, Czech Republic. What started as a two-week stop to see the world-famous Christmas markets turned into 75 days of fun, fellowship, and service. It was there that I learned, really learned, about Sunday School lesson preparation.

It happened when a Sunday School teacher asked if I could fill in for her by preparing a Gospel Principles lesson on the Creation for the following week. I agreed.

The Czech Republic ocated in Central Europe, east of Germany and north of Austria and has a population over 10 million,  2,500 of which are church members. Formed following the dissolution of Czechoslovakia in 1993, the people have endured many difficult years, including German occupation during World War II and subsequently becoming a one-party communist state.

The Church likewise struggled, but the Saints grew strong. For over 40 years, public activity of the Church was prohibited, but members quietly kept their faith, at times sneaking copies of The Book of Mormon into the country with false covers to avoid confiscation. Finally, in 1990, through the efforts of President Monson, the church was granted recognition; there were 345 members. In 2016, President Uchtdorf organized the first stake in the Czech Republic, headquartered in the capital city, Prague. Leadership in the Prague Ward is incredible and missionary work is gathering momentum.

Each Sunday, about one quarter of the Prague ward attendance consists of visitors....]]>
Leading Saints clean 42:07
How I Lead as Stake Young Women President | An Interview With Heidi Tucker https://leadingsaints.org/how-i-lead-as-stake-young-women-president-an-interview-with-heidi-tucker/ Mon, 02 Oct 2017 14:15:23 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=36907 Heidi Tucker is a current Stake Young Women president who has also served as ward Young Women president and an early morning seminary teacher. Check out her other interviewed called When a Missionary Returns Home Early | A Mother's Perspective. Episode Summary 4:00 First experience serving in Young Women's 6:00 What was surprising serving in Young Women's on a stake level? 7:40 5 principles of leadership 7:45 Keep lines of communication open with ward Young Women presidents 12:25 Support the stewardship of the ward Young Women's president. Don't replace them. 15:20 Love the youth and teach them with respect 17:00 We're all at different levels of the gospel. Don't judge...teach. 18:50 Pray to know the path for your stake. Put your ego aside. 23:45 How has serving in the Young Women's made you a better disciple of Jesus Christ? Heidi Tucker is a current Stake Young Women president who has also served as ward Young Women president and an early morning seminary teacher. Check out her other interviewed called When a Missionary Returns Home Early | A Mother's Perspective. When a Missionary Returns Home Early | A Mother's Perspective.
Episode Summary
4:00 First experience serving in Young Women's
6:00 What was surprising serving in Young Women's on a stake level?
7:40 5 principles of leadership
7:45 Keep lines of communication open with ward Young Women presidents
12:25 Support the stewardship of the ward Young Women's president. Don't replace them.
15:20 Love the youth and teach them with respect
17:00 We're all at different levels of the gospel. Don't judge...teach.
18:50 Pray to know the path for your stake. Put your ego aside.
23:45 How has serving in the Young Women's made you a better disciple of Jesus Christ?]]>
Leading Saints clean 24:59
5 Dale Carnegie Principles for LDS Leaders | An Interview With Clive Winn https://leadingsaints.org/5-dale-carnegie-principles-for-lds-leaders-an-interview-with-clive-winn/ Sun, 24 Sep 2017 10:00:08 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=36682 Raised in Bakersfield, California, Clive Winn obtained a B.S. degree in law enforcement and a Master of Public Administration degree from B.Y.U. He was employed for many years as an F.B.I. special agent in various locations. As a church leader, he has served in numerous capacities including elders quorum president, bishop, stake president and mission president (Argentina). More recently he was called as a stake patriarch. During the podcast interview, Brother Winn briefly describes his interviews with a member of the Council of the Twelve and a member of the First Presidency prior to being officially called as a mission president. He further describes his joy in seeing how teachable missionaries typically are in receiving counsel from their mission president. As a patriarch (15:34), he has reaffirmed his conviction of the worth of every individual soul in the eyes of a loving Heavenly Father. He asserts that when you get a glimpse into peoples’ eternal possibilities you view them differently. We should all strive harder to treat each other in a way that recognizes the great potential that God sees in each of us. While employed by the F.B.I. Clive was often called on to train other staff members. He loved seeing the “light come on,” prompting people to change workplace or personal-life behaviors while becoming more enthusiastic and genuinely happy. The late Dale Carnegie authored world-renowned How to Win Friends and Influence People, plus How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, and other books related to interpersonal success skills. Brother Winn has been officially involved with the Dale Carnegie training program for four years. As a church leader, he periodically witnessed members rejecting callings and local church officers falling short of their potential success and responsibilities to serve. He observed ward councils having to repeat the same discussions about member needs without moving the ball forward. He learned that many of the principles he practiced and taught in his professional life and, more recently, in the Dale Carnegie courses can lead to more productive leadership and happier saints. He discussed five of those 30+ principles in a recent interview, summarized as follows: 1. Don't Criticize, Condemn or Complain (19:57): If we personally refrain from such tendencies in leading church units, quorums and auxiliaries we’ll treat people with greater dignity and positively affect the overall organizational dynamics. Exhibit confidence and belief in the people you lead so as to help them understand their enormous potential and have greater clarity as to why they should perform at a higher level. The leader must set the tone for a positive culture, recognizing that sometimes other ward leaders under his/her direction are unaware they are expressing negative thoughts. All ward or stake members and leaders will benefit greatly from knowing that their leaders are positive. 2. Give Honest, Sincere Appreciation (20:32): Leaders often do not take time to consistently do this. Praise needs to be authentic and not for purposes of manipulation. Many people are “down” on themselves and a little reassurance goes a long way in rebuilding their faith and self-confidence. Don’t hesitate to send notes of commendation and gratitude. Look for opportunities to express appreciation from the pulpit to individuals, groups or congregations, including the recognition of small acts of service. Ward youth will greatly benefit from appreciation and positive reinforcement of specific things they have done well. 3. Smile (31:16): Some people are smile-challenged, especially when nervous or tense. Smiling helps you feel more comfortable and does the same for those you lead. It eases tension. Young people feel more accepted by a leader who smiles, and are then more likely to consult the leader to discuss serious personal concerns or aspirations. 4. Strive to Learn and Use Each Member's Name (34:35): This is a very powerful tool. Raised in Bakersfield, California, Clive Winn obtained a B.S. degree in law enforcement and a Master of Public Administration degree from B.Y.U. He was employed for many years as an F.B.I. special agent in various locations. As a church leader,

Raised in Bakersfield, California, Clive Winn obtained a B.S. degree in law enforcement and a Master of Public Administration degree from B.Y.U. He was employed for many years as an F.B.I. special agent in various locations. As a church leader, he has served in numerous capacities including elders quorum president, bishop, stake president and mission president (Argentina). More recently he was called as a stake patriarch. During the podcast interview, Brother Winn briefly describes his interviews with a member of the Council of the Twelve and a member of the First Presidency prior to being officially called as a mission president. He further describes his joy in seeing how teachable missionaries typically are in receiving counsel from their mission president. As a patriarch (15:34), he has reaffirmed his conviction of the worth of every individual soul in the eyes of a loving Heavenly Father. He asserts that when you get a glimpse into peoples’ eternal possibilities you view them differently. We should all strive harder to treat each other in a way that recognizes the great potential that God sees in each of us.

While employed by the F.B.I. Clive was often called on to train other staff members. He loved seeing the “light come on,” prompting people to change workplace or personal-life behaviors while becoming more enthusiastic and genuinely happy.

The late Dale Carnegie authored world-renowned How to Win Friends and Influence People, plus How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, and other books related to interpersonal success skills. Brother Winn has been officially involved with the Dale Carnegie training program for four years. As a church leader, he periodically witnessed members rejecting callings and local church officers falling short of their potential success and responsibilities to serve. He observed ward councils having to repeat the same discussions about member needs without moving the ball forward. He learned that many of the principles he practiced and taught in his professional life and, more recently, in the Dale Carnegie courses can lead to more productive leadership and happier saints. He discussed five of those 30+ principles in a recent interview, summarized as follows:
1. Don't Criticize, Condemn or Complain
(19:57): If we personally refrain from such tendencies in leading church units, quorums and auxiliaries we’ll treat people with greater dignity and positively affect the overall organizational dynamics. Exhibit confidence and belief in the people you lead so as to help them understand their enormous potential and have greater clarity as to why they should perform at a higher level. The leader must set the tone for a positive culture, recognizing that sometimes other ward leaders under his/her direction are unaware they are expressing negative thoughts. All ward or stake members and leaders will benefit greatly from knowing that their leaders are positive.
2. Give Honest, Sincere Appreciation
(20:32): Leaders often do not take time to consistently do this. Praise needs to be authentic and not for purposes of manipulation. Many people are “down” on themselves and a little reassurance goes a long way in rebuilding their faith and self-confidence. Don’t hesitate to send notes of commendation and gratitude. Look for opportunities to express appreciation from the pulpit to individuals, groups or congregations, including the recognition of small acts of service. Ward youth will greatly benefit from appreciation and positive reinforcement of specific things they have done well.
3. Smile
(31:16): Some people are smile-challenged, especially when nervous or tense.]]>
Leading Saints clean 48:05
How to Mentor a Newly Called Leader Through Situational Leadership | An Interview With John Hester https://leadingsaints.org/how-to-mentor-a-newly-called-leader-through-situational-leadership-an-interview-with-john-hester/ Sun, 17 Sep 2017 10:00:16 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=36401 John Hester is a leadership consultant, trainer, researcher, and writer with The Ken Blanchard Companies. He currently serves on the High Council in his Vancouver, Washington stake and has previously served as an elders quorum president, Young Men president, and early-morning seminary teacher.  Episode Highlights (9:30) Biggest mistakes leaders make someone is called to a new position and feels lost Micromanaging Allowing the individual to go and flounder on their own, occasionally swooping in and then flying away again (seagull management) (10:20) How can this be handled more effectively? How can a leader find balance somewhere between the two big mistakes? Key is to take the time to diagnose recognize the goals and tasks that someone might have in a particular role what is your "development level" in each of these tasks?  Then providing the necessary leadership to help in areas where someone may not be as strong or experienced (11:45) Development Levels example (15:30) Collaboration between the leader and the individual to diagnose development levels Importance of recognizing that development levels are task-based rather than calling or position-based (21:00) Reassessing the diagnosis beyond the initial calling (regular stewardship interviews) (22:15) Characteristics of effective stewardship interviews Consistency Assessing task-based progress (25:15) Matching leadership style to the current development level (29:00) How can leaders make these regular stewardship interviews a priority so that progress can keep happening? Recognize that this is when the personal interaction can happen Making the time for them can free up time down the road (32:00) The importance of leaders always listening Links: The Ken Blanchard Companies John Hester is a leadership consultant, trainer, researcher, and writer with The Ken Blanchard Companies. He currently serves on the High Council in his Vancouver, Washington stake and has previously served as an elders quorum president, Episode Highlights
(9:30) Biggest mistakes leaders make someone is called to a new position and feels lost

Micromanaging
Allowing the individual to go and flounder on their own, occasionally swooping in and then flying away again (seagull management)

(10:20) How can this be handled more effectively? How can a leader find balance somewhere between the two big mistakes?

Key is to take the time to diagnose
recognize the goals and tasks that someone might have in a particular role
what is your "development level" in each of these tasks? 
Then providing the necessary leadership to help in areas where someone may not be as strong or experienced

(11:45) Development Levels example

(15:30) Collaboration between the leader and the individual to diagnose development levels

Importance of recognizing that development levels are task-based rather than calling or position-based

(21:00) Reassessing the diagnosis beyond the initial calling (regular stewardship interviews)

(22:15) Characteristics of effective stewardship interviews

Consistency
Assessing task-based progress

(25:15) Matching leadership style to the current development level

(29:00) How can leaders make these regular stewardship interviews a priority so that progress can keep happening?

Recognize that this is when the personal interaction can happen
Making the time for them can free up time down the road

(32:00) The importance of leaders always listening
Links:
The Ken Blanchard Companies

]]>
Leading Saints clean 35:27
“The Atonement Works for Me”: One Couple’s Recovery from Sexual Addiction https://leadingsaints.org/the-atonement-works-for-me-one-couples-recovery-from-sexual-addiction/ Sun, 10 Sep 2017 10:00:29 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=36313 In this episode we share with you a recorded fireside that was held in Salt Lake City in August of 2017 with a Young Single Adult ward. We interview Steve and Kayla Shields who are dedicated to helping others understand sex/pornography addiction and how they found hope and recovery. Steve runs the website UnashamedUnafraid.com which helps those struggling with sexual addiction find community. Steve and Kayla share their personal story of sexual addiction in hopes of removing the stigma of shame associated with addiction. Episode Highlights 6.20  Steve’s first interaction with pornography was at age 12. 7:14  Steve continued to struggle with pornography though his teen years. 8:28  His addiction was beginning to escalate. He did not feel he could talk to anyone about this. 9:02  Before Steve left for his mission he did go to talk to his Bishop. 10:42 Steve felt that his addiction was manageable during his mission. 11:35 Once Steve returned home from his mission he fell into old behavior and his addiction began to escalate. 13:10  Steve sought help from his Bishop however, the problems continued to escalate. 15:02  Steve and Kayla got married. Steve was an ordinance worker in the Temple and still struggling with his addiction. 15:22 Kayla shares how she asked Steve before they got married if he had ever struggled with a pornography addiction. Kayla did not want to marry anyone with a pornography addiction. 16:55  Steve felt emptiness from his addiction so he worked harder and served more to compensate for that emptiness. 17:43 Steve was currently serving as a counselor in the Bishopric. Kayla went out of town on a trip with their baby. During that time Steve spent that time acting out on his addiction. 19:07 Steve made a choice to get help. The Lord helped him to see his addiction for what it was. 20:19 Steve choose to speak with his Dad first about his addiction, and then he spoke to a therapist. 21:07 Steve also spoke with Kayla’s Dad about his addiction prior to talking to his wife. He wanted Kayla to have support when he shared this with her. 21:37 Steve spoke with his Bishop about his addiction. 22:07 Steve picked his wife up from the airport as she returned home from her trip. He drove her right to the therapist office first instead of going home. He wanted to share his addiction with her at the office. 22:14 She suspected he was going to tell her he struggles with pornography. There were clues while they were dating. 24:25 Steve shares how numb he felt from his addiction. 25:19 Kayla learned about Steve’s addiction and felt shock. She stormed out of the therapist office. She wanted a divorce. 27:50 Kayla prayed and felt comfort to move forward to heal ther marriage. 28:23 The months that followed were rough, especially as they moved into a new ward and questions followed from ward members. 29:50 What Kayla was feeling was betrayal trauma. She had things she had to heal from as well. 32:31  When you are dating ask questions. Invite them to be honest with you. 34:58  Addiction is very shameful. Talk to those you date in a way that doesn’t put their self worth on the line. 37:36  Be sensitive when addressing the topic of sexual addiction. Addiction brings shame. 38:26 Talk about sexual addiction while you are dating. Build a strong level of trust. 40:31 Start discussing your addiction with the safest person to you and work your way out. 41:48 When discussing your addiction you do not have to share everything at the first time you discuss this. Start where you can. 44:22 Steve felt hope as he saw other people overcome their sexual addiction. 47:57 As leaders in the church it can be helpful to attend a 12 step program for the experience. This will allow you to help those you lead who struggling with addictions. 49:37 Steve and Kayla built trust back in their marriage as she watched him stay committed to... In this episode we share with you a recorded fireside that was held in Salt Lake City in August of 2017 with a Young Single Adult ward. We interview Steve and Kayla Shields who are dedicated to helping others understand sex/pornography addiction and ho... UnashamedUnafraid.com which helps those struggling with sexual addiction find community. Steve and Kayla share their personal story of sexual addiction in hopes of removing the stigma of shame associated with addiction.
Episode Highlights

* 6.20  Steve’s first interaction with pornography was at age 12.
* 7:14  Steve continued to struggle with pornography though his teen years.
* 8:28  His addiction was beginning to escalate. He did not feel he could talk to anyone about this.
* 9:02  Before Steve left for his mission he did go to talk to his Bishop.
* 10:42 Steve felt that his addiction was manageable during his mission.
* 11:35 Once Steve returned home from his mission he fell into old behavior and his addiction began to escalate.
* 13:10  Steve sought help from his Bishop however, the problems continued to escalate.
* 15:02  Steve and Kayla got married. Steve was an ordinance worker in the Temple and still struggling with his addiction.
* 15:22 Kayla shares how she asked Steve before they got married if he had ever struggled with a pornography addiction. Kayla did not want to marry anyone with a pornography addiction.
* 16:55  Steve felt emptiness from his addiction so he worked harder and served more to compensate for that emptiness.
* 17:43 Steve was currently serving as a counselor in the Bishopric. Kayla went out of town on a trip with their baby. During that time Steve spent that time acting out on his addiction.
* 19:07 Steve made a choice to get help. The Lord helped him to see his addiction for what it was.
* 20:19 Steve choose to speak with his Dad first about his addiction, and then he spoke to a therapist.
* 21:07 Steve also spoke with Kayla’s Dad about his addiction prior to talking to his wife. He wanted Kayla to have support when he shared this with her.
* 21:37 Steve spoke with his Bishop about his addiction.
* 22:07 Steve picked his wife up from the airport as she returned home from her trip. He drove her right to the therapist office first instead of going home. He wanted to share his addiction with her at the office.
* 22:14 She suspected he was going to tell her he struggles with pornography. There were clues while they were dating.
* 24:25 Steve shares how numb he felt from his addiction.
* 25:19 Kayla learned about Steve’s addiction and felt shock. She stormed out of the therapist office. She wanted a divorce.
* 27:50 Kayla prayed and felt comfort to move forward to heal ther marriage.
* 28:23 The months that followed were rough, especially as they moved into a new ward and questions followed from ward members.
* 29:50 What Kayla was feeling was betrayal trauma. She had things she had to heal from as well.
* 32:31  When you are dating ask questions. Invite them to be honest with you.
* 34:58  Addiction is very shameful. Talk to those you date in a way that doesn’t put their self worth on the line.
* 37:36  Be sensitive when addressing the topic of sexual addiction. Addiction brings shame.
* 38:26 Talk about sexual addiction while you are dating. Build a strong level of trust.
* 40:31 Start discussing your addiction with the safest person to you and work your way out.
* 41:48 When discussing your addiction you do not have to share everything at the first time you discuss this. Start where you can.
]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:13:03
When a Missionary Returns Home Early | A Mother’s Perspective https://leadingsaints.org/when-a-missionary-returns-home-early-a-mothers-perspective/ Sun, 03 Sep 2017 10:00:10 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=36217 Interview Transcript Available Below To say that Heidi Tucker, found her self in  at a difficult junction in her life, would be an understatment.  She had just turned 50, her 4th child was about to leave home, she was nearing the end to her calling that required her to teach early morning seminary at 4:30 am every morning. She was physically, emotionally and spiritually beat up.  She was on a flight between Phoenix and Salt Lake City, where she had a dream and saw her hands holding her book that she was to write (1:50). Episode Highlights Heidi tells what she had originally thought when she woke up from the dream (2:45) She tells about seeking personal revelation after she had allowed herself to forget about the dream. (3:40) “I showed you that book" There was no getting away from the promptings she received. (4:40) The book includes personal true stories of how Heidi found hope in trials in addition to gospel principles that helped her and her family through the difficult times. (7:31) Improving Scripture Study (8:12) Turning personal prayer into 2 way communication (9:22) Protect yourself from outside influences (11:30) Learning and relating to sacrifices other family members have made (Family History) (8:48) The audience for this book is for anyone, but has gotten a positive response from Relief Society Sisters and other women (12:45) Know that “Everyone is doing their best, at the level that they are at.”  Gaining a testimony is a process, not an event. (14:35) Connecting with others by being real and honest. (16:38) Combining personal experiences combined with gospel principles help make leaders seem real. (17:55) “Struggle is as much a part of the plan as joy." (18:42)  Instead of saying ‘Why me,” say, “What now” Experiences with Missionaries coming home early (20:55) Don’t ask why they returned home. Don’t ask what they are going to be doing or ask if they are going to be going back out. Understand there are a lot of unanswered questions. Understanding as a parent that your child is on their own path to their Heavenly Father (26:00) Love them, support them and quit trying to fix them. (27:27) Keeping RM’s involved (32:54) Be Direct and let people know that you care. (35:36) Links: Finding Hope in the Journey: Recognize His Message Heidi's Blog Interview Transcript Kurt Francom:       03:39           Today we're actually in my childhood home talking with Heidi Tucker.  How are you Heidi? Heidi Tucker:       03:44          Very good to be here. Thank you. Kurt Francom:       03:47          You're from Cave Creek Arizona. Remind me where that is again? Heidi Tucker:       03:52          That is on the north east corner of Phoenix and Scottsdale area. Kurt Francom:       03:55          Nice and you're visiting some grand kids and children here? Heidi Tucker:       04:00          They all went to college in Utah and never came back. Kurt Francom:       04:04          Wow. So you have to come visit? Heidi Tucker:       04:05          I have to be here every opportunity I get.  And so we organized. My parents home was available and here we are in a nice air conditioned home. Are you to record and learn about you so you are the author of "Finding Hope in the Journey." Yes. Now I know from personal experience you don't accidentally write a book. So tell us how did this book come to be. Kurt Francom:       04:24          Well we have to go back a few years. I was actually in a really difficult time. I had just turned 50. My fourth child was ready to leave the nest and I knew from three these three before her right that she's not coming back. So I know I'm going to be an empty nester. I was in my fourth year of teaching .early morning seminary. So four years of getting up at 4:30 every morning to be at the church by 5:30 to teach at 6:00 that had taken its toll. Interview Transcript Available Below - To say that Heidi Tucker, found her self in  at a difficult junction in her life, would be an understatment.  She had just turned 50, her 4th child was about to leave home,
To say that Heidi Tucker, found her self in  at a difficult junction in her life, would be an understatment.  She had just turned 50, her 4th child was about to leave home, she was nearing the end to her calling that required her to teach early morning seminary at 4:30 am every morning. She was physically, emotionally and spiritually beat up.  She was on a flight between Phoenix and Salt Lake City, where she had a dream and saw her hands holding her book that she was to write (1:50).
Episode Highlights


* Heidi tells what she had originally thought when she woke up from the dream (2:45)
* She tells about seeking personal revelation after she had allowed herself to forget about the dream. (3:40)
* “I showed you that book" There was no getting away from the promptings she received. (4:40)
* The book includes personal true stories of how Heidi found hope in trials in addition to gospel principles that helped her and her family through the difficult times. (7:31)

* Improving Scripture Study (8:12)
* Turning personal prayer into 2 way communication (9:22)

* Protect yourself from outside influences (11:30)


* Learning and relating to sacrifices other family members have made (Family History) (8:48)


* The audience for this book is for anyone, but has gotten a positive response from Relief Society Sisters and other women (12:45)
* Know that “Everyone is doing their best, at the level that they are at.”  Gaining a testimony is a process, not an event. (14:35)
* Connecting with others by being real and honest. (16:38)

* Combining personal experiences combined with gospel principles help make leaders seem real. (17:55)


* “Struggle is as much a part of the plan as joy." (18:42)  Instead of saying ‘Why me,” say, “What now”
* Experiences with Missionaries coming home early (20:55)

* Don’t ask why they returned home.
* Don’t ask what they are going to be doing or ask if they are going to be going back out.
* Understand there are a lot of unanswered questions.
* Understanding as a parent that your child is on their own path to their Heavenly Father (26:00)
* Love them, support them and quit trying to fix them. (27:27)
* Keeping RM’s involved (32:54)


* Be Direct and let people know that you care. (35:36)

Links:
Finding Hope in the Journey: Recognize His Message
Heidi's Blog




Interview Transcript
Kurt Francom:       03:39           Today we're actually in my childhood home talking with Heidi Tucker.  How are you Heidi?

Heidi Tucker:       03:44          Very good to be here. Thank you.

Kurt Francom:       03:47          You're from Cave Creek Arizona. Remind me where that is again?

Heidi Tucker:       03:52          That is on the north east corner of Phoenix and Scottsdale area.

Kurt Francom:       03:55          Nice and you're visiting some grand kids and children here?

Heidi Tucker:       04:00          They all went to college in Utah and never came back.

Kurt Francom:       04:04          Wow. So you have to come visit?

Heidi Tucker:       04:05          I have to be here every opportunity I get.  And so we organized. My parents home was available and here we are in a nice air conditioned home. Are you to record and learn about you so you are the author of "Finding Hope in...]]>
Leading Saints clean 45:02
Being an LDS Leader Comfortable With Doubt: 8 Tips to Help Those You Lead Who Doubt https://leadingsaints.org/being-an-lds-leader-comfortable-with-doubt-8-tips-to-help-those-you-lead-who-doubt/ Wed, 30 Aug 2017 10:00:05 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=35385 People in your ward doubt the validity of gospel and you don't know it. You don't know it because they are afraid to tell you, their leader, that they doubt. They are afraid how you will respond, what you will say, and what you will do. Some are even afraid their newfound doubts will cause you to begin to doubt because they were once fully convinced of the gospel's validity too. No, they haven't sinned or need an excuse to sin—they just doubt. If the bishop, or any other leader, is lucky enough, members with deep questions about the restored gospel will actually set an appointment to meet with you before they fade away into inactivity, or worse. This type of appointment is one of your greatest leadership tests. A moment when you will feel like you need to say the right thing or you might unintentionally push them away. To help leaders prepare now rather than in the 15 seconds you will have when they say, "I'm not sure I believe anymore" here are seven things leaders can consider to help those in your ward who doubt. Validate, Validate, VALIDATE Most people who have developed doubt in the claims of the LDS Church feel like they have gone crazy. They live in a church culture where they see people every month stand and deliver a testimony with "every fiber of their being." These strong testimonies can be inspiring for many, but for those suddenly doubting, they feel like an outlier for even having thoughts of doubt. Validation is the first step to a productive conversation. No matter how radical or outlandish the leader perceives the member's new perspective, it is critical to validate the fact that any normal, believing church member could develop such questions. Validating their doubts, concerns, or different beliefs doesn't mean you agree with them or that you should give them the impression you agree with them. Validation is simply recognizing the feelings a member might feel as he or she wrestles with a newfound perspective. For example, if an individual shares with a leader that she has read new information that causes her to question Joseph Smith's validity as a prophet of God, the leader could say, "I can imagine you have been feeling confused, unsure, and possibly even betrayed by this new information. It is important to realize that questions and doubts are part of a normal process we all go through as we strive to discover a deeper faith, even when we thought we had a stable testimony of these principles." When a doubter hears validation, she suddenly realizes she isn’t going crazy. If she feels like her perspective is scoffed at or dismissed, she will realize the mistake she made by trying to communicate her concerns with her church leader. Remember, she won't feel loved if she feels like you are trying to win a disagreement or straighten out her beliefs. Offer a New Framework When an individual experiences a faith crisis he feels he is in a spiritual free fall. He begins to question concepts in life he had never questioned before—especially those concepts based on faith. He moves from a life of certainty to a life of questions. This destroys hope and stimulates anxiety. One of the best ways a leader can help others to establish a foundation of hope is to give the individual a new framework in which to start reconstructing his faith. Up until now, most with an LDS background have had a black-and-white framework to define their faith. They thought they had most of the answers that helped them understand the world and the eternities. It's not so much that the doubter’s faith has been damaged; it's their framework of defining faith that is needing repair. In my experience, James Fowler's Stages of Faith is effective when needing a dynamic framework for understanding the human experience related to faith. We hope to produce more resources on Leading Saints that better explain this model, but for now, I encourage you to review it online. It is relieving for both the leader and the member when the memb... People in your ward doubt the validity of gospel and you don't know it. You don't know it because they are afraid to tell you, their leader, that they doubt. They are afraid how you will respond, what you will say, and what you will do.
If the bishop, or any other leader, is lucky enough, members with deep questions about the restored gospel will actually set an appointment to meet with you before they fade away into inactivity, or worse. This type of appointment is one of your greatest leadership tests. A moment when you will feel like you need to say the right thing or you might unintentionally push them away.

To help leaders prepare now rather than in the 15 seconds you will have when they say, "I'm not sure I believe anymore" here are seven things leaders can consider to help those in your ward who doubt.
Validate, Validate, VALIDATE
Most people who have developed doubt in the claims of the LDS Church feel like they have gone crazy. They live in a church culture where they see people every month stand and deliver a testimony with "every fiber of their being." These strong testimonies can be inspiring for many, but for those suddenly doubting, they feel like an outlier for even having thoughts of doubt.

Validation is the first step to a productive conversation. No matter how radical or outlandish the leader perceives the member's new perspective, it is critical to validate the fact that any normal, believing church member could develop such questions. Validating their doubts, concerns, or different beliefs doesn't mean you agree with them or that you should give them the impression you agree with them. Validation is simply recognizing the feelings a member might feel as he or she wrestles with a newfound perspective. For example, if an individual shares with a leader that she has read new information that causes her to question Joseph Smith's validity as a prophet of God, the leader could say, "I can imagine you have been feeling confused, unsure, and possibly even betrayed by this new information. It is important to realize that questions and doubts are part of a normal process we all go through as we strive to discover a deeper faith, even when we thought we had a stable testimony of these principles." When a doubter hears validation, she suddenly realizes she isn’t going crazy. If she feels like her perspective is scoffed at or dismissed, she will realize the mistake she made by trying to communicate her concerns with her church leader. Remember, she won't feel loved if she feels like you are trying to win a disagreement or straighten out her beliefs.
Offer a New Framework
When an individual experiences a faith crisis he feels he is in a spiritual free fall. He begins to question concepts in life he had never questioned before—especially those concepts based on faith. He moves from a life of certainty to a life of questions. This destroys hope and stimulates anxiety.

One of the best ways a leader can help others to establish a foundation of hope is to give the individual a new framework in which to start reconstructing his faith. Up until now, most with an LDS background have had a black-and-white framework to define their faith. They thought they had most of the answers that helped them understand the world and the eternities. It's not so much that the doubter’s faith has been damaged; it's their framework of defining faith that is needing repair.

In my experience, James Fowler's Stages of Faith is effective when needing a dynamic framework for understanding the human experience related to faith. We hope to produce more resources on Leading Saints th...]]>
Leading Saints clean 39:40
Be Pleasantly Persistent | How I Lead as Ward Mission Leader https://leadingsaints.org/be-pleasantly-persistent-how-i-lead-as-ward-mission-leader/ Sun, 27 Aug 2017 10:24:57 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=35868 Bryan Hughes currently serves as the Ward Mission Leader in his Topeka, KS ward. Raised in the Seattle, WA area and baptized shortly before his 18th birthday, he shares of his conversion experience after becoming inactive shortly after his baptism. These experiences have helped shape his approach to missionary work and serving in his current calling. Bryan's approach to serving in the ward mission is guided by President's Hinckley's counsel that every new convert needs a friend, a responsibility, and to be nourished by the good word of God. He applies these teachings by regularly using the new member list in ward council to identify if these three things are happening for newly baptized members. Five Leadership Principles Principle #1 Recognize that you lead through influence (13:25) D&C 121:41-44 Principles that help us lead and influence others righteously. To pull someone rather than push them you need to earn that right. This can be done by making and keeping commitments yourself - effective communication with those whom we serve. Principle #2 Don't assume that everyone knows how to be effective in every calling (16:00) We need to have grace for individuals and be willing to serve (and serve with) those who are learning in their callings. Seeking first to understand and then to be understood. Revelation comes to all of the parties associated in the work as we counsel together. Principle #3 Recognize that this is the Lord's work (25:20) If not aware, we can unintentionally close ourselves to revelation or get stuck in routines and become unable to adjust or change as needed. Principle #4 Be pleasantly persistent (28:35) Avoiding making things a fire when it doesn't need to be a fire. Be pleasantly (and proactively) persistent. Everybody can find their own way to be pleasantly persistent. Remember that we work with volunteers (as we are ourselves). Being more persistent in accountability, getting face time, getting the message of our auxiliary across, but doing so in an effective (pleasant) way. Principle #5 Make sure you have a strong team (35:30) First and foremost we must defer to the Lord - we must not bypass the process of revelation. Should not hesitate to recommend individuals to serve in our auxiliaries if prompted to make those recommendations. Be willing to work with anyone the Lord sees fit to call to our team. Our responsibility as a leader is to make sure our team is strong, whomever has been called to be on that team Bryan Hughes currently serves as the Ward Mission Leader in his Topeka, KS ward. Raised in the Seattle, WA area and baptized shortly before his 18th birthday, he shares of his conversion experience after becoming inactive shortly after his baptism.
Bryan's approach to serving in the ward mission is guided by President's Hinckley's counsel that every new convert needs a friend, a responsibility, and to be nourished by the good word of God. He applies these teachings by regularly using the new member list in ward council to identify if these three things are happening for newly baptized members.
Five Leadership Principles
Principle #1 Recognize that you lead through influence (13:25)

* D&C 121:41-44 Principles that help us lead and influence others righteously.
* To pull someone rather than push them you need to earn that right.

* This can be done by making and keeping commitments yourself - effective communication with those whom we serve.



Principle #2 Don't assume that everyone knows how to be effective in every calling (16:00)

* We need to have grace for individuals and be willing to serve (and serve with) those who are learning in their callings.
* Seeking first to understand and then to be understood.
* Revelation comes to all of the parties associated in the work as we counsel together.

Principle #3 Recognize that this is the Lord's work (25:20)

* If not aware, we can unintentionally close ourselves to revelation or get stuck in routines and become unable to adjust or change as needed.

Principle #4 Be pleasantly persistent (28:35)

* Avoiding making things a fire when it doesn't need to be a fire.
* Be pleasantly (and proactively) persistent.
* Everybody can find their own way to be pleasantly persistent.
* Remember that we work with volunteers (as we are ourselves).
* Being more persistent in accountability, getting face time, getting the message of our auxiliary across, but doing so in an effective (pleasant) way.

Principle #5 Make sure you have a strong team (35:30)

* First and foremost we must defer to the Lord - we must not bypass the process of revelation.
* Should not hesitate to recommend individuals to serve in our auxiliaries if prompted to make those recommendations.
* Be willing to work with anyone the Lord sees fit to call to our team.
* Our responsibility as a leader is to make sure our team is strong, whomever has been called to be on that team
]]>
Leading Saints clean 49:43
An App for When You Are the Closing Speaker in Sacrament Meeting https://leadingsaints.org/an-app-for-when-you-are-the-closing-speaker-in-sacrament-meeting/ Thu, 24 Aug 2017 10:00:36 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=35675 Jacob Barlow is a Southern California native, and former Utah resident, who now resides in the San Francisco Bay Area. A BYU-Idaho graduate, Jacob is married and was previously employed at Google as a member of the company’s former Google Glass team. Inspired by his church-leader father’s assembled database of pearls of wisdom, Jacob has developed a free app of quotable quotes. It is called The Closing Speaker and is useful for people serving in the Church and home as leaders, speakers, teachers and parents, as well as those responsible for inserting a meaningful quote on the front page of a Sunday ward bulletin. It has a practical application for both youth and adults. For example, Church youth may find the app very valuable in talk preparation, including last-minute assignments they may be called upon to fulfill in a quorum or classroom setting. The app is evolutionary and currently contains 3088 quotes from 241 authors on 287 separate topics (1). At present, it is only available for Android devices and may be available for IOS users in the future, the advantage to Android being its more global reach. The app’s name (The Closing Speaker) borrows from the concept of a leader who finds himself or herself occupying valuable time at the pulpit at the end of a church service, and doing so in a way that helps ensure a successful meeting outcome. Users of the app may quickly search the database by topic or by author. The Closing Speaker functions somewhat as a topical guide; however, there is an important difference that many users will prefer over a topical guide or the use of a search bar on lds.org. The Closing Speaker provides actual quotes that are highly relevant, rather than overburdening users with a long list of citations that may have a one-word connection but offer limited value in the required context. While some of the quotes are lengthy and others are pithy, all are selected on the basis of bringing added value and understanding to a given topic. The Closing Speaker allows users to “favor” certain quotes for future reference and to also see what other users have highly favored. Jacob’s plans for The Closing Speaker’s future include the possibility of user-input, and doing so in a way that continues to safeguard the app’s integrity as to verifiable, published quotes from trustworthy sources. The app’s current user rating is 4.8 on a five-point scale. Brother Barlow reported that the process of app development, and the necessity of reading every single quotation used, has been both inspiring and educational. DOWNLOAD THE CLOSING SPEAKER (Not Yet Available for iOS) Jacob Barlow is a Southern California native, and former Utah resident, who now resides in the San Francisco Bay Area. A BYU-Idaho graduate, Jacob is married and was previously employed at Google as a member of the company’s former Google Glass team.
Inspired by his church-leader father’s assembled database of pearls of wisdom, Jacob has developed a free app of quotable quotes. It is called The Closing Speaker and is useful for people serving in the Church and home as leaders, speakers, teachers and parents, as well as those responsible for inserting a meaningful quote on the front page of a Sunday ward bulletin. It has a practical application for both youth and adults. For example, Church youth may find the app very valuable in talk preparation, including last-minute assignments they may be called upon to fulfill in a quorum or classroom setting. The app is evolutionary and currently contains 3088 quotes from 241 authors on 287 separate topics (1). At present, it is only available for Android devices and may be available for IOS users in the future, the advantage to Android being its more global reach.

The app’s name (The Closing Speaker) borrows from the concept of a leader who finds himself or herself occupying valuable time at the pulpit at the end of a church service, and doing so in a way that helps ensure a successful meeting outcome. Users of the app may quickly search the database by topic or by author. The Closing Speaker functions somewhat as a topical guide; however, there is an important difference that many users will prefer over a topical guide or the use of a search bar on lds.org. The Closing Speaker provides actual quotes that are highly relevant, rather than overburdening users with a long list of citations that may have a one-word connection but offer limited value in the required context. While some of the quotes are lengthy and others are pithy, all are selected on the basis of bringing added value and understanding to a given topic. The Closing Speaker allows users to “favor” certain quotes for future reference and to also see what other users have highly favored.

Jacob’s plans for The Closing Speaker’s future include the possibility of user-input, and doing so in a way that continues to safeguard the app’s integrity as to verifiable, published quotes from trustworthy sources. The app’s current user rating is 4.8 on a five-point scale. Brother Barlow reported that the process of app development, and the necessity of reading every single quotation used, has been both inspiring and educational.

DOWNLOAD THE CLOSING SPEAKER (Not Yet Available for iOS)]]>
Leading Saints clean 24:12
Why We Married in the Temple After 20 Years in Same-Sex Relationships | An Interview With Bennett & Becky Borden https://leadingsaints.org/why-we-married-in-the-temple-after-20-years-in-same-sex-relationships-an-interview-with-bennett-becky-borden/ Sun, 20 Aug 2017 09:54:17 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=35844 Transcript of Full Interview Available Below Bennett and Becky Borden are a married couple who both experience same-sex attraction and who were both in same-sex marriages and relationships for many years prior to returning to the LDS Church and prior to their marriage to each other. Bennett and Becky both grew up in the South in active LDS families. They met about 28 years ago when Bennett was a young man and served his mission in Becky's ward. Bennett became close with Becky's family and over they years they have remained friends. In their early 20s, both Bennett and Becky came out as gay, left the Church and went on to live a gay lifestyle for many years. After many years away they both decided separately they wanted to come back to the church. They met up at Becky's family reunion and knew they should get married. They returned to church attendance, were married and after time had their blessings restored and were sealed in the temple. A lot can be learned and gained from their amazing story, their relationships, their faith transition, their interactions with family and church leaders, and their spiritual experiences. 3:15 Bennett's upbringing 5:00 Becky's upbringing 7:30 Bennett's close relationship with Becky's family 8:00 After his mission, Bennett's first marriage to a woman 9:30 Bennett lives a gay lifestyle and stops going to church 10:30 Becky's journey coming out as gay 13:30 Their relationships with God as they left the church and lived the gay lifestyle 14:30 Bennett's experience studying other religions 16:00 Becky's experience joining several other churches 18:00 What can we learn from our crises of faith? 19:00 Every relationship has goodness to them 20:30 "The light and love of God shines everywhere"/Growth can happen even as we are lost 22:00 Becky's excommunication and the blessing of it 24:30 The thing that brought them back to the gospel 26:00 Bennett's same sex relationship and what brought him back 28:20 Becky and where she was as Bennett's relationship ended 31:00 Leaders and family members and how they reached out to Bennett and Becky while they were living a gay lifestyle 34:00 Love within church disciplinary councils 35:30 Bennett and Becky's friendship as they came back to the church 44:00 How to reconcile thoughts of going back to the church with being gay 45:00 Reading the scriptures assuming it's all true 48:00 Bennett and Becky decision to get married 50:00 Becky's experience meeting with her bishop to discuss coming back to church 53:20 Bennett's experience meeting with his bishop to discuss coming back to church 56:15 How Satan worked to keep them from coming back 57:00 Their marriage by a bishop in Washington D.C. 58:45 Bennett's ex-husband Richard joined the church 1:02:30 How to pray for a child with same sex attraction 1:08:00 How can leaders use Northstar to help them 1:09:00 Message to individuals wanting to come back to the church Links: North Star Bennett & Becky's North Star Conference Keynote Bennett & Becky would love to connect with anyone who has questions or needs further support. You can reach them at their joint email: Bennettandbecky@gmail.com Interview Transcript Kurt Francom: [00:03:00] Today I’m in a beautiful Immigration Canyon with my good friends Bennett and Becky Borden. How are you two? Becky Borden: Doing great, thanks. Bennett Borden: Very well. Kurt Francom: I first met you two at the North Star Conference back in, what was that? March? Becky Borden: March. Kurt Francom: March of 2017. You were there. You were one of the keynotes, talking about your experience. Now, let’s just get you two in context. Bennett, we’ll start with you. How would you describe your upbringing, where you’re from and maybe what landed you on a mission? [00:03:30] Bennett Borden: Sure, thanks, Kurt. So I’m from a small town in Tennessee, outside of Knoxville, Transcript of Full Interview Available Below - Bennett and Becky Borden are a married couple who both experience same-sex attraction and who were both in same-sex marriages and relationships for many years prior to returning to the LDS Church and prio...
Bennett and Becky Borden are a married couple who both experience same-sex attraction and who were both in same-sex marriages and relationships for many years prior to returning to the LDS Church and prior to their marriage to each other. Bennett and Becky both grew up in the South in active LDS families. They met about 28 years ago when Bennett was a young man and served his mission in Becky's ward. Bennett became close with Becky's family and over they years they have remained friends. In their early 20s, both Bennett and Becky came out as gay, left the Church and went on to live a gay lifestyle for many years. After many years away they both decided separately they wanted to come back to the church. They met up at Becky's family reunion and knew they should get married. They returned to church attendance, were married and after time had their blessings restored and were sealed in the temple. A lot can be learned and gained from their amazing story, their relationships, their faith transition, their interactions with family and church leaders, and their spiritual experiences.

3:15 Bennett's upbringing
5:00 Becky's upbringing
7:30 Bennett's close relationship with Becky's family
8:00 After his mission, Bennett's first marriage to a woman
9:30 Bennett lives a gay lifestyle and stops going to church
10:30 Becky's journey coming out as gay
13:30 Their relationships with God as they left the church and lived the gay lifestyle
14:30 Bennett's experience studying other religions
16:00 Becky's experience joining several other churches
18:00 What can we learn from our crises of faith?
19:00 Every relationship has goodness to them
20:30 "The light and love of God shines everywhere"/Growth can happen even as we are lost
22:00 Becky's excommunication and the blessing of it
24:30 The thing that brought them back to the gospel
26:00 Bennett's same sex relationship and what brought him back
28:20 Becky and where she was as Bennett's relationship ended
31:00 Leaders and family members and how they reached out to Bennett and Becky while they were living a gay lifestyle
34:00 Love within church disciplinary councils
35:30 Bennett and Becky's friendship as they came back to the church
44:00 How to reconcile thoughts of going back to the church with being gay
45:00 Reading the scriptures assuming it's all true
48:00 Bennett and Becky decision to get married
50:00 Becky's experience meeting with her bishop to discuss coming back to church
53:20 Bennett's experience meeting with his bishop to discuss coming back to church
56:15 How Satan worked to keep them from coming back
57:00 Their marriage by a bishop in Washington D.C.
58:45 Bennett's ex-husband Richard joined the church
1:02:30 How to pray for a child with same sex attraction
1:08:00 How can leaders use Northstar to help them
1:09:00 Message to individuals wanting to come back to the church

Links:
North Star

Bennett & Becky's North Star Conference Keynote

Bennett & Becky would love to connect with anyone who has questions or needs further support. You can reach them at their joint email: Bennettandbecky@gmail.com
Interview Transcript
Kurt Francom: [00:03:00] Today I’m in a beautiful Immigration Canyon with my good friends Bennett and Becky Borden. How are you two?

Becky Borden: Doing great, thanks.

]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:14:05
Why Many Young Single Adults Are Delaying Marriage and It’s Probably Not What You Think https://leadingsaints.org/the-reason-many-young-single-adults-are-delaying-marriage-and-its-probably-not-what-you-think/ Mon, 14 Aug 2017 10:00:10 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=35728 Interview Transcript Available Below Jon Birger is a magazine writer and contributor to Fortune Magazine. Jon is also the author of Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game. In this book he explains the reason behind the lop-sided dating demographics and the decline in marriage rates with a focus in one chapter on the Jewish and Mormon religions. A big shout out to Geoff Openshaw from This Week in Mormons that helped conduct the interview. Go listen and subscribe to his podcast! Episode Summary: 5:56 Date-onomics looks at the demographics of why dating may be more challenging for women vs. men. 7:12 For the last fifteen years there have been four women graduating college for every three men. 7:48 There is a college gender gap that is responsible for the decline in marriages for educated women. 8:22 What is the scarcity rule and how is that effecting dating influences? 9:32 In Date-onomics Jon studied the secular world and how they can be less susceptible to outside cultural influences. 12:55 The gender ratio in the Mormon faith. 14:00 Is there a marriage crisis within the Mormon and Orthodox Jewish faith? 15:36 For the Mormons living in Utah, there is a gender gap. There is a 60/40 ratio women to men. 16:00 The gender ratio affects our behavior. 18:04 The ratio can cultivate very picky men. 19:49 Data suggest that in all religions women tend to be more devout then men. 20:31 Approximately 30 to 40 percent of LDS young men go on missions. 21:50 Most men who fall away from organized religion are between their late teen years to their twenties. 23:03 The age change for LDS missions reflected a surge of those choosing to go. 25:00 Why Millennials don’t date? 26:01 Millennial men are not happy couch potatoes. Case in point is Silicon Valley. 27:07 The Bay area in California has more men graduating from college than women. The marriage rates are much higher and divorce rates are very low. 28:52 Millennials are marrying late because of a faith crisis, not a dating crisis. This has become a demographics issue. 30:05 The science in Date-onomics shows how some of these patterns are hard wired within us. This is based on the demographics problem. 31:02 To shift the demographics slant, help encourage young men to stay active in the church. 33:11 The gender gap is not as great outside of Utah. Young men who do not serve missions may feel less ostracized outside Utah. 36:09 Elder Scott, “If you are a young man of appropriate age and are not married, don’t waste time in idle pursuits. Get on with life and focus on getting married. Don’t just coast through this period of life." 38:21 Freshman classes at BYU are 60/40 women to men due to LDS missions. 39:25 If college graduates were willing to date non-college graduates, the gender ratio may not be as bad. 41:46 As men age, they become locked into their ways and more rigid. 42:36 The plastic surgery surge in Utah can be contributed to the lop-sided demographics. Suggested Solutions: 45:47 Do not assume millennials are not marrying because of laziness. 46:45 Make gender ratios a consideration when choosing a college. 49:16 College educated women can expand their dating pool to include non-college educated men. 50:26 Avoid the musical chairs syndrome. Links: Date-onomics Book Jon Birger Website The End of Men: And the Rise of Women, by Hannah Rosin Interview Transcript Kurt Francom: This is a simulcast along with my friend Geoff from the podcast This Week in Mormons. How are you, Geoff? Geoff Openshaw: Hey, what’s up, Kurt? Good to see you, buddy. Kurt Francom: Nice. We decide to tag team this episode because it’s such a fascinating topic and that we’re both going to be interviewing and having a discussion with Jon Birger, who is the author of Date-onomics - How dating became a lopsided numbers game. How are you Jon? Jon Birger: Hey, I’m good. Interview Transcript Available Below - Jon Birger is a magazine writer and contributor to Fortune Magazine. Jon is also the author of Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game. In this book he explains the reason behind the lop-sided dat...
Jon Birger is a magazine writer and contributor to Fortune Magazine. Jon is also the author of Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game. In this book he explains the reason behind the lop-sided dating demographics and the decline in marriage rates with a focus in one chapter on the Jewish and Mormon religions. A big shout out to Geoff Openshaw from This Week in Mormons that helped conduct the interview. Go listen and subscribe to his podcast!
Episode Summary:

* 5:56 Date-onomics looks at the demographics of why dating may be more challenging for women vs. men.
* 7:12 For the last fifteen years there have been four women graduating college for every three men.
* 7:48 There is a college gender gap that is responsible for the decline in marriages for educated women.
* 8:22 What is the scarcity rule and how is that effecting dating influences?
* 9:32 In Date-onomics Jon studied the secular world and how they can be less susceptible to outside cultural influences.
* 12:55 The gender ratio in the Mormon faith.
* 14:00 Is there a marriage crisis within the Mormon and Orthodox Jewish faith?
* 15:36 For the Mormons living in Utah, there is a gender gap. There is a 60/40 ratio women to men.
* 16:00 The gender ratio affects our behavior.
* 18:04 The ratio can cultivate very picky men.
* 19:49 Data suggest that in all religions women tend to be more devout then men.
* 20:31 Approximately 30 to 40 percent of LDS young men go on missions.
* 21:50 Most men who fall away from organized religion are between their late teen years to their twenties.
* 23:03 The age change for LDS missions reflected a surge of those choosing to go.
* 25:00 Why Millennials don’t date?
* 26:01 Millennial men are not happy couch potatoes. Case in point is Silicon Valley.
* 27:07 The Bay area in California has more men graduating from college than women. The marriage rates are much higher and divorce rates are very low.
* 28:52 Millennials are marrying late because of a faith crisis, not a dating crisis. This has become a demographics issue.
* 30:05 The science in Date-onomics shows how some of these patterns are hard wired within us. This is based on the demographics problem.
* 31:02 To shift the demographics slant, help encourage young men to stay active in the church.
* 33:11 The gender gap is not as great outside of Utah. Young men who do not serve missions may feel less ostracized outside Utah.
* 36:09 Elder Scott, “If you are a young man of appropriate age and are not married, don’t waste time in idle pursuits. Get on with life and focus on getting married. Don’t just coast through this period of life."
* 38:21 Freshman classes at BYU are 60/40 women to men due to LDS missions.
* 39:25 If college graduates were willing to date non-college graduates, the gender ratio may not be as bad.
* 41:46 As men age, they become locked into their ways and more rigid.
* 42:36 The plastic surgery surge in Utah can be contributed to the lop-sided demographics.
* Suggested Solutions:
* 45:47 Do not assume millennials are not marrying because of laziness.
* 46:45 Make gender ratios a consideration when choosing a college.
* 49:16 College educated women can expand their dating pool to include non-college educated men.
* 50:26 Avoid the musical chairs syndrome.

Links:

* Date-onomics Book
* Jon Birger https://leadingsaints.org/?p=35624 Interview transcript available below In this episode, we welcome back Jerry Smith who has been on the Leading Saints podcast before. I will remember, yeah, he is the author of Schooling the Prophet, How the Book of Mormon Influenced Joseph Smith and the Early Restoration. Jerry is originally from Salt Lake City and served his mission in Boston, Massachusetts area and later returned there to continue his college education. He now teaches in the School of Business at Boston College and also teaches institute classes at the Boston LDS Institute. He has served as bishop three times and in a stake presidency and in many other church callings.  Specifically in this episode we talk about a very interesting subject regarding the changes or corrections ancient prophets made in the Book of Mormon text— not grammatical changes that Joseph Smith made or others in the translation of the Book of Mormon, but changes ancient prophets themselves made, anciently as they were actually writing this and why they made it. Through this discussion we discuss the concept of every leader being human and making errors from time to time as they are given a daunting task of leading. We sometimes hold up these Book of Mormon prophets as impeccable leaders. In reality, they were human and we can see a lot of their mortality through their writings in the Book of Mormon but that makes it very rich. It makes it real and we can learn more about the Book of Mormon, about these prophets, about the personalities and so I think you will enjoy this conversation as I geek out with Jerry about the extemporaneous changes that we see in the Book of Mormon.  Links: Improvisation and Extemporaneous Change in the Book of Mormon (Part 1: Evidence of an Imperfect, Authentic, Ancient Work of Scripture) Improvisation and Extemporaneous Change in the Book of Mormon (Part 2: Structural Evidences of Earlier Ancient versus Later Modern Constructions) Jerry Smith's first interview on the Leading Saints podcast Schooling the Prophet, How the Book of Mormon Influenced Joseph Smith and the Early Restoration Understanding the Book of Mormon: A Reader's Guide, by Grant Hardy Interview Transcript Jerry Smith: Well, Kurt, nice to just talk to you again. Kurt Francom: Now you are originally from Boston and you just happened to be in Salt Lake so we thought let's get together and talk about something. Jerry Smith: I'm actually originally from Salt Lake City. Kurt Francom: [00:03:30] Oh right, yes, but you've lived there. Jerry Smith: I've lived in Boston for 40 years, so does that count as a Bostonian? Kurt Francom: Well, you're the better judge of that than I am. We talked prior in a previous interview, which I encourage all to check out about your book called Schooling the Prophet: How the Book of Mormon Influenced the Early Restoration. Did I get that subtitle right? Jerry Smith: Almost, How the Book of Mormon Influenced Joseph Smith's Restoration. Kurt Francom: Oh yes, of course. That was a fascinating interview and also, I read the book and I encourage people to check that out and learn more about [00:04:00] that, but now, we wanted to connect and talk about some articles that you've been researching and putting together about, I don't know how you would frame it exactly but some of the adjustments that are found in the Book of Mormon, in that scripture and the way they are manifested, right? Jerry Smith: Yes. This is a discovery. These are discoveries I guess that I came across as I was researching the book Schooling the Prophet, and I was especially interested in Joseph Smith's interaction with the Book of Mormon and therefore, [00:04:30] what did he read, what did he see, what did he assimilate into his thinking, how did it influence his revelations, and in the process of that, I discovered these absolutely fascinating spontaneous changes and I'll describe those as we go along, but yes, so that's exactly it. Interview transcript available below - In this episode, we welcome back Jerry Smith who has been on the Leading Saints podcast before. I will remember, yeah, he is the author of Schooling the Prophet, How the Book of Mormon Influenced Joseph Smith and...
In this episode, we welcome back Jerry Smith who has been on the Leading Saints podcast before. I will remember, yeah, he is the author of
Schooling the Prophet, How the Book of Mormon Influenced Joseph Smith and the Early Restoration. Jerry is originally from Salt Lake City and served his mission in Boston, Massachusetts area and later returned there to continue his college education. He now teaches in the School of Business at Boston College and also teaches institute classes at the Boston LDS Institute. He has served as bishop three times and in a stake presidency and in many other church callings. 

Specifically in this episode we talk about a very interesting subject regarding the changes or corrections ancient prophets made in the Book of Mormon text— not grammatical changes that Joseph Smith made or others in the translation of the Book of Mormon, but changes ancient prophets themselves made, anciently as they were actually writing this and why they made it.

Through this discussion we discuss the concept of every leader being human and making errors from time to time as they are given a daunting task of leading. We sometimes hold up these Book of Mormon prophets as impeccable leaders. In reality, they were human and we can see a lot of their mortality through their writings in the Book of Mormon but that makes it very rich. It makes it real and we can learn more about the Book of Mormon, about these prophets, about the personalities and so I think you will enjoy this conversation as I geek out with Jerry about the extemporaneous changes that we see in the Book of Mormon. 
Links:

*
Improvisation and Extemporaneous Change in the Book of Mormon (Part 1: Evidence of an Imperfect, Authentic, Ancient Work of Scripture)

*
Improvisation and Extemporaneous Change in the Book of Mormon (Part 2: Structural Evidences of Earlier Ancient versus Later Modern Constructions)

* Jerry Smith's first interview on the Leading Saints podcast
* Schooling the Prophet, How the Book of Mormon Influenced Joseph Smith and the Early Restoration
*
Understanding the Book of Mormon: A Reader's Guide, by Grant Hardy


Interview Transcript
Jerry Smith: Well, Kurt, nice to just talk to you again.

Kurt Francom: Now you are originally from Boston and you just happened to be in Salt Lake so we thought let's get together and talk about something.

Jerry Smith: I'm actually originally from Salt Lake City.

Kurt Francom: [00:03:30] Oh right, yes, but you've lived there.

Jerry Smith: I've lived in Boston for 40 years, so does that count as a Bostonian?

Kurt Francom: Well, you're the better judge of that than I am. We talked prior in a previous interview, which I encourage all to check out about your book called Schooling the Prophet: How the Boo...]]>
Leading Saints clean 45:55
An LDS Leader’s Guide to Millennial Mormons https://leadingsaints.org/an-lds-leaders-guide-to-millennial-mormons/ Mon, 31 Jul 2017 18:31:28 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=35610 Author's Edit 8/18: The purpose of this article is to help Latter-day Saint leaders and members understand why a large number of Millennial members are leaving the church (I personally see Millennials leaving the church as a negative thing, and something I would like to prevent). This article does not suggest that the LDS church should change its doctrines or lower its standards to cater to Millennials. But, I do suggest that the Church can change some practices (not doctrines and/or standards) to better engage Millennials and improve the retention of Millennials. An example of how the church recently changed a practice to cater to and improve the engagement of a certain demographic group is they began allowing women to say prayers in General Conference. This was a change in practice and not a change in doctrine or standards. The suggestions in this article are similar in nature. My hope is that all members of the church will work together to help all who need the atonement of Christ to feel comfortable coming unto Christ by worshiping him within the walls of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. About six months ago, as part of ward conference, my ward held a special ward council, with stake leaders also participating. The primary topic we discussed was what the ward could do to better support young adults and youth. As the discussion progressed, I made two observations. First, I observed a large age gap between those in the meeting and the demographic group being discussed. Most of the individuals in the meeting were from the Baby Boomer generation (born between 1946 and 1964), a few were from the Generation X generation (born between 1965 and 1979), and I was the only individual that was from the Millennial generation (born between 1980 and 1996). Second, it became clear that most in the meeting did not understand the needs and perspectives of young adults and youth, and were thus not in a great position to support, serve, and reach them in a meaningful way. The purpose of this post is to help leaders in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints understand why Millennials are unique, what their needs are, how their needs and philosophies may clash against Latter-day Saint tradition, and what Latter-day Saint leaders can do to better support, serve, and reach a generation that Baby Boomers and Gen Xers have a hard time relating to and understanding. What makes Millennials Before answering this question, it is important to point out two things related to research on Millennials. First, not all Millennials fit the “Millennial” mold or stereotype. While generational research focuses on the averages/generalities associated with different generations, there is great variation across Millennials. Second, while Millennials are unique from older generations, some of the differences are due to the difference in age common to different generations. Stated differently, while the needs, interests, and thought processes of Millennials are currently different than older generations, in many ways, the older generations had similar needs, interests, and thought processes while in their twenties and early thirties. For example, Millennials are currently more likely to change jobs than older generations, but that is a phenomenon that has always been the case for those in their twenties and early thirties, regardless of their generation. This is primarily the case because Millennials generally have fewer ties to others than older age groups. The following summarizes some of the primary ways Millennials are truly unique from other generations. Millennials: Have worse health than prior generations at the same age (e.g., more obesity). Have a lower level of general knowledge coming out of high school (National Center for Educational Statistics, U.S. Department of Education). Need and want greater supervision and support (in general, but particularly in the workplace). Author's Edit 8/18: The purpose of this article is to help Latter-day Saint leaders and members understand why a large number of Millennial members are leaving the church (I personally see Millennials leaving the church as a negative thing,
About six months ago, as part of ward conference, my ward held a special ward council, with stake leaders also participating. The primary topic we discussed was what the ward could do to better support young adults and youth. As the discussion progressed, I made two observations. First, I observed a large age gap between those in the meeting and the demographic group being discussed. Most of the individuals in the meeting were from the Baby Boomer generation (born between 1946 and 1964), a few were from the Generation X generation (born between 1965 and 1979), and I was the only individual that was from the Millennial generation (born between 1980 and 1996). Second, it became clear that most in the meeting did not understand the needs and perspectives of young adults and youth, and were thus not in a great position to support, serve, and reach them in a meaningful way.

The purpose of this post is to help leaders in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints understand why Millennials are unique, what their needs are, how their needs and philosophies may clash against Latter-day Saint tradition, and what Latter-day Saint leaders can do to better support, serve, and reach a generation that Baby Boomers and Gen Xers have a hard time relating to and understanding.
What makes Millennials
Before answering this question, it is important to point out two things related to research on Millennials. First, not all Millennials fit the “Millennial” mold or stereotype. While generational research focuses on the averages/generalities associated with different generations, there is great variation across Millennials. Second, while Millennials are unique from older generations, some of the differences are due to the difference in age common to different generations. Stated differently, while the needs, interests, and thought processes of Millennials are currently different than older generations, in many ways, the older generations had similar needs, interests, and thought processes while in their twenties and early thirties. For example, Millennials are currently more likely to change jobs than older generations, but that is a phenomenon that has always been the case for those in their twenties and early thirties, regardless of their generation. This is primarily the case because Millennials generally have fewer ties to others than older age groups.

The following summarizes some of the primary ways Millennials are truly unique from other generations. Millennials:

Have worse health than prior generations at the same age (e.g., more obesity).
Have a lower level of general knowledge coming out of high school (National Center for Educational Statistics, U.S.]]>
Leading Saints clean 23:33
Helping Future Missionaries Set Realistic Expectations | An Interview With Craig Harline https://leadingsaints.org/helping-future-missionaries-set-realistic-expectations-an-interview-with-craig-harline/ Sun, 30 Jul 2017 09:00:43 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=35458 Craig Harline is an accomplished author and professor at Brigham Young University. He teaches Cultural and Religious History. He resides in Provo, Utah with his family but he also travels to Europe as he continues his research. Craig grew up in Fresno California. He was later called to Belgium to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It was those experiences he had while on his mission that lead him to write the book Way Below The Angels, the Pretty Clearly Troubled but not even close to tragic confessions of a real life mormon missionary. In this book he shares what his expectations for his mission looked like, and what really happened as he enabled the power of the atonement. Episode Highlights: 5:32- Expectations for your mission or calling. 6:54- Your ideals are a starting point. 7:39 - Avoiding feelings of failure. 8:22 “Ideals are stars to steer by; they are not sticks to beat ourselves with.” (Barbara B. Smith) 12:28- How to help young missionaries set expectations before they leave on a mission. 15:45- The right answer is not always the heroic one. 18:37- We are not called to save everything, the Savior has already done that for us. 22:32- Sometimes we look for affirmations of success in all the wrong places. 28:16- Why people convert? 30:25-Helping missionaries understand social structures. 31:16- Who am I converting vs. Who am I befriending. 34:43-Learning to speak their language and learn their culture is an act of love. 35:53-Having unrealistic goals makes the mission about you, and not the people you are there to help. 38:15-The mission may not go the way you thought and it is ok to talk about it. 39:48-Sometimes you will not get along with your companion. Links Craig Harline website Way Below The Angels, the Pretty Clearly Troubled but not even close to tragic confessions of a real life Mormon missionary Craig Harline’s published books Times and Seasons Blog Craig Harline is an accomplished author and professor at Brigham Young University. He teaches Cultural and Religious History. He resides in Provo, Utah with his family but he also travels to Europe as he continues his research. -

Craig Harline is an accomplished author and professor at Brigham Young University. He teaches Cultural and Religious History. He resides in Provo, Utah with his family but he also travels to Europe as he continues his research.

Craig grew up in Fresno California. He was later called to Belgium to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It was those experiences he had while on his mission that lead him to write the book Way Below The Angels, the Pretty Clearly Troubled but not even close to tragic confessions of a real life mormon missionary. In this book he shares what his expectations for his mission looked like, and what really happened as he enabled the power of the atonement.
Episode Highlights:

* 5:32- Expectations for your mission or calling.
* 6:54- Your ideals are a starting point.
* 7:39 - Avoiding feelings of failure.
* 8:22 “Ideals are stars to steer by; they are not sticks to beat ourselves with.” (Barbara B. Smith)
* 12:28- How to help young missionaries set expectations before they leave on a mission.
* 15:45- The right answer is not always the heroic one.
* 18:37- We are not called to save everything, the Savior has already done that for us.
* 22:32- Sometimes we look for affirmations of success in all the wrong places.
* 28:16- Why people convert?
* 30:25-Helping missionaries understand social structures.
* 31:16- Who am I converting vs. Who am I befriending.
* 34:43-Learning to speak their language and learn their culture is an act of love.
* 35:53-Having unrealistic goals makes the mission about you, and not the people you are there to help.
* 38:15-The mission may not go the way you thought and it is ok to talk about it.
* 39:48-Sometimes you will not get along with your companion.

Links

* Craig Harline website
* Way Below The Angels, the Pretty Clearly Troubled but not even close to tragic confessions of a real life Mormon missionary
* Craig Harline’s published books
* Times and Seasons Blog
]]>
Leading Saints clean 42:55
Lift Someone Daily | An Interview With Richard Seaman https://leadingsaints.org/lift-someone-daily-an-interview-with-richard-seaman/ Sun, 23 Jul 2017 09:00:25 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=35379 Richard Seaman is a business analyst and the founder of Beacon Leadership Development. Richard was raised in Flagstaff Arizona and now lives in Kaysville, Utah with his wife of 30 years. He has 5 kids and 6 grandchildren and currently serves in the High Council. Richard loves the youth of the church and has served as Young Men's president 6 times. Professionally, Richard is a certified executive life coach, trains leadership teams and is also a motivational speaker. He is well versed in leadership development, collaborative work group training and management consulting. In this episode Richard talks about being an intentional leader and having a vision statement in your calling. Episode Highlights: 19:15 Advice for a new Young Men's president 21:30 What can we understand about being intentional as a leader - know what your purpose is for the entire time you serve in your calling 24:00 How to be intentional 26:00 An example of a vision statement for a Young Men's presidency 29:00 Ward council- not making it gossip 29:30 Having a meeting facilitator in ward council 32:30 Ward council- dealing with facts and not gossip 39:00 Being addicted to LSD- lift someone daily 41:15 Be intentional with leadership activities 43:30 Example of lifting someone daily- Atlanta airport 48:00 Smile more 49:30 Leadership is one on one Links: 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Steven Covey Motivating the Minister Summit Beacon Leadership Richard Seaman is a business analyst and the founder of Beacon Leadership Development. Richard was raised in Flagstaff Arizona and now lives in Kaysville, Utah with his wife of 30 years. He has 5 kids and 6 grandchildren and currently serves in the Hig... Episode Highlights:

* 19:15 Advice for a new Young Men's president
* 21:30 What can we understand about being intentional as a leader - know what your purpose is for the entire time you serve in your calling
* 24:00 How to be intentional
* 26:00 An example of a vision statement for a Young Men's presidency
* 29:00 Ward council- not making it gossip
* 29:30 Having a meeting facilitator in ward council
* 32:30 Ward council- dealing with facts and not gossip
* 39:00 Being addicted to LSD- lift someone daily
* 41:15 Be intentional with leadership activities
* 43:30 Example of lifting someone daily- Atlanta airport
* 48:00 Smile more
* 49:30 Leadership is one on one

Links:

* 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Steven Covey
* Motivating the Minister Summit
* Beacon Leadership

]]>
Leading Saints clean 49:39
Returning to the LDS Church: “The Further I Got the Easier it Was” | An Interview With Brian Wilson https://leadingsaints.org/returning-to-the-lds-church-the-further-i-got-the-easier-it-was-an-interview-with-brian-wilson/ Sun, 16 Jul 2017 12:00:40 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=35164 Brian Wilson who was born in San Diego, but moved frequently due to being raised in a military family, now lives in Kansas City Missouri. Brian’s was born into a family where both parents converted to the church. As a youth Brian overcame many struggles in his youth including being abused. In this episode he shares his story of being born into the church, leaving it, and the bumpy path back. There is great insight into the thoughts and stories in a member who has left the church, but still remembers what is right. Episode Highlights: Suggestions for youth leaders that may work with abused youth (9:41) Brian’s journey from baptizing a friend to inactivity in the church, “The farther he got the easier it was." (11:12) How he slid on the slippery slope (14:14) Fading strong friendships (15:20) Removing his name from the records (16:10) Realizing that anger lead to unhappiness (19:20) Realizing his weakness (20:30) Leaders can reach out and let less active members know they are needed and loved (21:13) Some members are looking for a reason or an excuse (24:24) It isn’t as hard as it seams to remove your name from the roles (24:50) Finding purpose outside the church (25:45) The bumps on the road to reactivity was rough (26:35) Brian’s family didn’t give up (29:44) The power of a good neighbor.  The invitation was always there. (30:55) Receiving simple service (33:20) “All that I ask is that you listen,” Brian tells about supporting his wife as she learned more about the gospel (36:14) The fellow shippers really wanted to get to know them (37:52) "Going back to church after 20 years…" (39:04) Process of being rebaptized (40:09) Brian Wilson who was born in San Diego, but moved frequently due to being raised in a military family, now lives in Kansas City Missouri. Brian’s was born into a family where both parents converted to the church. Episode Highlights:

* Suggestions for youth leaders that may work with abused youth (9:41)
* Brian’s journey from baptizing a friend to inactivity in the church, “The farther he got the easier it was." (11:12)
* How he slid on the slippery slope (14:14)
* Fading strong friendships (15:20)
* Removing his name from the records (16:10)
* Realizing that anger lead to unhappiness (19:20)
* Realizing his weakness (20:30)
* Leaders can reach out and let less active members know they are needed and loved (21:13)
* Some members are looking for a reason or an excuse (24:24)
* It isn’t as hard as it seams to remove your name from the roles (24:50)
* Finding purpose outside the church (25:45)
* The bumps on the road to reactivity was rough (26:35)
* Brian’s family didn’t give up (29:44)
* The power of a good neighbor.  The invitation was always there. (30:55)
* Receiving simple service (33:20)
* “All that I ask is that you listen,” Brian tells about supporting his wife as she learned more about the gospel (36:14) The fellow shippers really wanted to get to know them (37:52)
* "Going back to church after 20 years…" (39:04)
* Process of being rebaptized (40:09)
]]>
Leading Saints clean 46:31
3 Pitfalls When Administering Ward Callings https://leadingsaints.org/3-pitfalls-when-administering-ward-callings/ Thu, 13 Jul 2017 14:07:17 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=35060 We learn from the Fifth Article of Faith and from the Church Handbooks that "a person must be called of God to serve in the Church." Notice the preposition is “called of God,” not called by God. It's easy for leaders to assume that God has a calling board in heaven on the wall of His office covered with magnetic pictures of each person in your ward. We assume He has determined every calling in your ward and carefully placed individuals in specific auxiliaries, and He is waiting for you, the leader, to read His mind so that you put every person in his or her perfect calling so that your calling board matches His. This results in leaders straining to read the mind of God; or trying to figure out who was called by God, rather than who is called of God. Elder Bednar gave a similar message in the April 2017 General Conference when he said, "...a missionary is not called to a place; rather, he or she is called to serve." Likewise, a member of your ward is called to serve, and where they are assigned in your ward may not always be gift wrapped in revelation. I'll be the first to admit it’s a powerful experience when a specific person comes to the mind of the bishop, and he knows where this member should be called to serve. But leaders must also feel confident in placing individuals in callings per their own decision making capacity rather than expecting a clear revelation in every instance. Elder Robert D. Hales said, "I remind all of us that the Holy Ghost is not given to control us. Some of us unwisely seek the Holy Ghost’s direction on every minor decision in our lives. This trivializes His sacred role." This guidance can be applied to making decision in our wards and organizations. Often, revelation comes by leaders deciding with the good judgment the Lord gave him or her, and then considering it revelation. The life experiences and decision making ability the Lord has given leaders is a way He influences and directs through revelation. Once leaders recognize the autonomy they have in whom to select to serve, the more confidence they have to make a call and not fret when it doesn't work out, or the process is messy. That said, the following are key pitfalls some leaders experience in the calling process. My hope is that leaders can watch out for these pitfalls and act with confidence, minimizing the burden of trying to read the mind of God in every instance. Expecting Specific Revelation for Each Calling When leaders have the mindset of finding who is called by God rather than who is called of God, we tend to search for a specific name who could serve, rather than a list of options. This is often seen when the bishop is approached by the Relief Society president and the Primary president, both having received inspiration that a specific sister is to serve in her auxiliary. It may be that the Lord places the name of an individual in the mind of the leader not that the individual should be specifically called to that position, but rather, He is guiding you to consider someone you haven't, helping you arrive at a better decision. So, when two auxiliary leaders approach the bishopric with the same name coming from the same Heavenly Source, it is important for the bishopric to validate the auxiliary leader’s prompting that is part of the revelatory process, and know "that final responsibility to receive inspiration on whom to call rests with the stake presidency or the bishopric." (Handbook 2: 19.1.2) When the Bishopric Makes All the Assignments I often hear of bishoprics who spend most their meeting time discussing each calling in each auxiliary, without considering or including the input of the auxiliary leaders. They replace primary teachers, elders quorum instructors, Gospel Doctrine teachers, etc., without any input from the auxiliary leaders. There are many auxiliary leaders in the church who find out in ward business during sacrament meeting who is on their roster. Or, We learn from the Fifth Article of Faith and from the Church Handbooks that "a person must be called of God to serve in the Church." Notice the preposition is “called of God,” not called by God. It's easy for leaders to assume that God has a calling bo... Fifth Article of Faith and from the Church Handbooks that "a person must be called of God to serve in the Church." Notice the preposition is “called of God,” not called by God. It's easy for leaders to assume that God has a calling board in heaven on the wall of His office covered with magnetic pictures of each person in your ward. We assume He has determined every calling in your ward and carefully placed individuals in specific auxiliaries, and He is waiting for you, the leader, to read His mind so that you put every person in his or her perfect calling so that your calling board matches His. This results in leaders straining to read the mind of God; or trying to figure out who was called by God, rather than who is called of God. Elder Bednar gave a similar message in the April 2017 General Conference when he said, "...a missionary is not called to a place; rather, he or she is called to serve." Likewise, a member of your ward is called to serve, and where they are assigned in your ward may not always be gift wrapped in revelation.

I'll be the first to admit it’s a powerful experience when a specific person comes to the mind of the bishop, and he knows where this member should be called to serve. But leaders must also feel confident in placing individuals in callings per their own decision making capacity rather than expecting a clear revelation in every instance. Elder Robert D. Hales said, "I remind all of us that the Holy Ghost is not given to control us. Some of us unwisely seek the Holy Ghost’s direction on every minor decision in our lives. This trivializes His sacred role." This guidance can be applied to making decision in our wards and organizations. Often, revelation comes by leaders deciding with the good judgment the Lord gave him or her, and then considering it revelation. The life experiences and decision making ability the Lord has given leaders is a way He influences and directs through revelation. Once leaders recognize the autonomy they have in whom to select to serve, the more confidence they have to make a call and not fret when it doesn't work out, or the process is messy.

That said, the following are key pitfalls some leaders experience in the calling process. My hope is that leaders can watch out for these pitfalls and act with confidence, minimizing the burden of trying to read the mind of God in every instance.
Expecting Specific Revelation for Each Calling
When leaders have the mindset of finding who is called by God rather than who is called of God, we tend to search for a specific name who could serve, rather than a list of options. This is often seen when the bishop is approached by the Relief Society president and the Primary president, both having received inspiration that a specific sister is to serve in her auxiliary. It may be that the Lord places the name of an individual in the mind of the leader not that the individual should be specifically called to that position, but rather, He is guiding you to consider someone you haven't, helping you arrive at a better decision.

So, when two auxiliary leaders approach the bishopric with the same name coming from the same Heavenly Source, it is important for the bishopric to validate the auxiliary leader’s prompting that is part of the revelatory process, and know "that final responsibility to receive inspiration on whom to call rests with the stake presidency or the bishopric." (Handbook 2: 19.1.2)
When the Bishopric Makes All the Assignments
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Leading Saints clean 16:28
What Every LDS Leader Needs to Understand About the Addiction Recovery Program | An Introduction to The Next Step Podcast https://leadingsaints.org/what-every-lds-leader-needs-to-understand-about-the-addiction-recovery-program-an-introduction-to-the-next-step-podcast/ Sun, 09 Jul 2017 12:00:11 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=35062 The Next Step Podcast is a weekly podcast focusing on the joys of recovery and sobriety in an LDS context. Creators and hosts, Brad and Jay, join Kurt to talk about the Addiction Recovery Program and how everyone, including church leaders, family, and friends, in addition to those suffering from the disease of addiction, can benefit by understanding the 12 steps, knowing when and where meetings are held, and understanding how to reach out to those in need of help.  Jay explains how he became addicted to prescription painkillers while on his mission, his struggles with addiction after, and the moment someone reached out to him and invited him to an Addiction Recovery Program meeting. Together, Brad and Jay discuss the leader's role in addiction recovery, how a sponsor is different than a priesthood leader (and the important, but separate, roles that each play in helping those with addictions), how to help youth and teens struggling with addiction, and the important role the family plays in the ongoing recovery process. (38:30) What is a sponsor in the addiction recovery program? How does someone become a sponsor? (40:00) How does your sponsor differ from a priesthood leader? (44:30) As leaders, we carry the message, not the person (46:45) Helping youth with addiction (51:00) Treating addiction as a family (55:00) Addiction and "Betrayal Trauma" Links: Addiction Recovery Program Website The Next Step Podcast on iTunes The Next Step Podcast Facebook page   The Next Step Podcast is a weekly podcast focusing on the joys of recovery and sobriety in an LDS context. Creators and hosts, Brad and Jay, join Kurt to talk about the Addiction Recovery Program and how everyone, including church leaders, family, The Next Step Podcast is a weekly podcast focusing on the joys of recovery and sobriety in an LDS context. Creators and hosts, Brad and Jay, join Kurt to talk about the Addiction Recovery Program and how everyone, including church leaders, family, and friends, in addition to those suffering from the disease of addiction, can benefit by understanding the 12 steps, knowing when and where meetings are held, and understanding how to reach out to those in need of help. 

Jay explains how he became addicted to prescription painkillers while on his mission, his struggles with addiction after, and the moment someone reached out to him and invited him to an Addiction Recovery Program meeting. Together, Brad and Jay discuss the leader's role in addiction recovery, how a sponsor is different than a priesthood leader (and the important, but separate, roles that each play in helping those with addictions), how to help youth and teens struggling with addiction, and the important role the family plays in the ongoing recovery process.

(38:30) What is a sponsor in the addiction recovery program? How does someone become a sponsor?


(40:00) How does your sponsor differ from a priesthood leader?


(44:30) As leaders, we carry the message, not the person


(46:45) Helping youth with addiction


(51:00) Treating addiction as a family


(55:00) Addiction and "Betrayal Trauma"

Links:
Addiction Recovery Program Website

The Next Step Podcast on iTunes

The Next Step Podcast Facebook page

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Leading Saints clean 67:03
Creating Joy in Church Service | How I Lead: Steve Russell https://leadingsaints.org/creating-joy-in-church-service-how-i-lead-steve-russell/ Mon, 03 Jul 2017 13:32:21 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=35181 Steve Russell, of Lehi Utah, practices law in Salt Lake City and is a graduate of the BYU’s J. Reuben Clark Law School. Steve completed an honorable mission in Bolivia and married a returned missionary. He and his wife Janice are the parents of eight children and he has served in many church callings: counselor, teacher, high councilor, youth choir/orchestra leader, family history consultant and as bishop in Tooele, Utah. Among the family traditions in the Russell household is the annual celebration of the Passover during the Easter season. At the time of his conversion to the Church in 1982, Brother Russell was a 22-year old jazz musician in Southern California. He was experiencing a season of serious contemplation about influential people and the nature of God when missionaries knocked on his door.  Through faithful study, prayer and participation he felt the light of the Lord enter his life, obtained a fervent testimony of the Book of Mormon and came to realize how someone can declare “I know” when speaking of spiritual convictions. When asked about milestones or turning points in his spiritual life, Steve references attending his first post-mission general conference where he was privileged to hear the stirring final testimony of the late Elder Bruce R. McConkie in 1985.(1) Brother Russell has an abiding testimony of the “commitment pattern.” He knows from personal experience and from serving as a bishop how vital it is to strive for personal purity by overcoming one’s sins, beginning with the most serious, and making definitive commitments to God through fervent prayer and “reporting back” to the Lord. This same pattern will help serious-minded Saints in dealing with a variety of challenges, including such things as compulsive behaviors (e.g. pornography, overeating, anger, etc.). He referenced pertinent and meaningful talks by President Spencer W. Kimball (2) and Elder David A. Bednar (3) on this same subject. Brother Russell asserts that Church leaders at any level must study the relevant handbooks and learn to love, serve and lead with the help of God through mighty prayer.  His experience is that there are many Church members who love deeply and desire to be valuable servants in the Kingdom. Serving and leading have helped Brother Russel appreciate the many blessings afforded by the gospel of Jesus Christ, especially the power of the Atonement. Five Principle of Leadership: Assume the best in the people serving. Don’t judge people by outward appearances, be they youth or adults. Find ways to connect with them and allow them to experience growth. (29:05) Every person has a unique perspective. Build on their strengths and do not make them feel inadequate. (30:35) Every person has something to offer. Don’t try to control circumstances to the point of stifling contributions. This occasionally happens in gospel classes. Consider their various contributions seriously, even if the meaning is not clear on the surface. Appreciate their courage in contributing. (32:05) Remember to discover and create joy in church service. It’s counterproductive to be stressed in church work. Leaders should seek to make serving joyful and/or fun. (34:10) If you are not loving those you serve, repeat steps one through four, above. (36:44) Links: “The Purifying Power of Gethsemane,” Elder Bruce R. McConkie, April 1985 "Converted Unto the Lord," Elder David A. Bednar, October 2012 Youtube Links: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I2v5K40Jghw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kfTZTJ2J4I https://vimeo.com/136479141 https://youtu.be/rdjH_-SyJY8 Steve Russell, of Lehi Utah, practices law in Salt Lake City and is a graduate of the BYU’s J. Reuben Clark Law School. Steve completed an honorable mission in Bolivia and married a returned missionary. He and his wife Janice are the parents of eight c...
At the time of his conversion to the Church in 1982, Brother Russell was a 22-year old jazz musician in Southern California. He was experiencing a season of serious contemplation about influential people and the nature of God when missionaries knocked on his door.  Through faithful study, prayer and participation he felt the light of the Lord enter his life, obtained a fervent testimony of the Book of Mormon and came to realize how someone can declare “I know” when speaking of spiritual convictions. When asked about milestones or turning points in his spiritual life, Steve references attending his first post-mission general conference where he was privileged to hear the stirring final testimony of the late Elder Bruce R. McConkie in 1985.(1) Brother Russell has an abiding testimony of the “commitment pattern.” He knows from personal experience and from serving as a bishop how vital it is to strive for personal purity by overcoming one’s sins, beginning with the most serious, and making definitive commitments to God through fervent prayer and “reporting back” to the Lord. This same pattern will help serious-minded Saints in dealing with a variety of challenges, including such things as compulsive behaviors (e.g. pornography, overeating, anger, etc.). He referenced pertinent and meaningful talks by President Spencer W. Kimball (2) and Elder David A. Bednar (3) on this same subject.

Brother Russell asserts that Church leaders at any level must study the relevant handbooks and learn to love, serve and lead with the help of God through mighty prayer.  His experience is that there are many Church members who love deeply and desire to be valuable servants in the Kingdom. Serving and leading have helped Brother Russel appreciate the many blessings afforded by the gospel of Jesus Christ, especially the power of the Atonement.
Five Principle of Leadership:

Assume the best in the people serving. Don’t judge people by outward appearances, be they youth or adults. Find ways to connect with them and allow them to experience growth. (29:05)
Every person has a unique perspective. Build on their strengths and do not make them feel inadequate. (30:35)
Every person has something to offer. Don’t try to control circumstances to the point of stifling contributions. This occasionally happens in gospel classes. Consider their various contributions seriously, even if the meaning is not clear on the surface. Appreciate their courage in contributing. (32:05)
Remember to discover and create joy in church service. It’s counterproductive to be stressed in church work. Leaders should seek to make serving joyful and/or fun. (34:10)
If you are not loving those you serve, repeat steps one through four, above. (36:44)

Links:

“The Purifying Power of Gethsemane,” Elder Bruce R. McConkie, April 1985
"Converted Unto the Lord," Elder David A. Bednar, October 2012
Youtube Links:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I2v5K40Jghw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kfTZTJ2J4I
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Leading Saints clean 46:05
Female LDS Leaders “At the Pulpit” | An Interview With Kate Holbrook https://leadingsaints.org/female-lds-leaders-at-the-pulpit-an-interview-with-kate-holbrook/ Sun, 25 Jun 2017 12:00:04 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=35016 Kate Holbrook is the managing historian for Women’s History at the Church History Department of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Kate is co-editor of two books, The First Fifty Years of Relief Society, and At The Pulpit, 185 years of Discourses by Latter-Day Saint Women. Before working for the church Kate served a mission in Russia. She went on to earn her masters degree at Harvard Divinity School in World Religions. She also earned her PHD from Boston University in Religious Studies. Episode Highlights: At The Pulpit, 185 years of Discourses by Latter-Day Saint Women. Relief Society, The Early Years.  While Kate was working on her PHD she worked on a comparative project where she examined women, food, and religion in the LDS religion and the Nation of Islam. She studied how our emphasis on self sufficiency helped shape our recipes. She is working on publishing this book. 8:33  Kate’s first task while working for the church was helping to publish The First Fifty Years of Relief Society. She worked on this for the first 4 years of her employment. 10:53 In early church history adult women had to apply to become a member of the relief society. 11:35  Membership cards for relief society were distributed in early Nauvoo. 12:10  It was not until the 1970’s when you automatically became a member of the relief society if you were a female adult member of the church. 12:14  When the relief society was first founded it was referred to as the women’s quorum. 12:30 The early years of relief society the women were very involved in the local board and local Red Cross. As the church grew, that fell away and they focused on ministry to a global church. 12:59 At The Pulpit, 185 years of Discourses by Latter-Day Saint Women. The authors of the book wrote introductions to each discourse and gave biographical information on the speakers. 14:00 In the early years of the church the women would speak at sacrament meetings and cottage meetings, Talks could also be found in the Women’s Exponent Newspaper. These were all looked at as they studied which talks to included in the book. 16:07  Eliza R. Snow was a champion in helping women to stand up and find their voice. 19:24  Belle S. Spafford’s picture is on the cover of this book. She was the General Relief Society President for 30 years (1945-1975). She was also on the General Relief Society Board for 40 years. 19:49 The criteria for this book was timeless well written talks, and talks that engage doctrine, and inspire. 26:39  The women in the book had a strong vision of their potential. They were going to save the world, not just the Mormon world but the whole world. 27:51  The support the women had for the suffrage movement was to restore women to her rightful place so her voice can be part of the running of the world. 28:02  As they prepared the book, they picked two or three talks per decade. 29:10  The talk they included from Sheri Dew explains how to learn the language of revelation when the Spirit talks to you. 29:57  The early sisters in the relief society were very organized and great at mentoring the coming generation. 30:39 Links: The First Fifty Years of Relief Society At the Pulpit 185 Years of Discourses by Latter-day Saint Women Church History Site: At the Pulpit 185 Years of Discourses by Latter-day Saint   Kate Holbrook is the managing historian for Women’s History at the Church History Department of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Kate is co-editor of two books, The First Fifty Years of Relief Society, and At The Pulpit, Episode Highlights:
At The Pulpit, 185 years of Discourses by Latter-Day Saint Women.

Relief Society, The Early Years.

*  While Kate was working on her PHD she worked on a comparative project where she examined women, food, and religion in the LDS religion and the Nation of Islam. She studied how our emphasis on self sufficiency helped shape our recipes. She is working on publishing this book. 8:33
*  Kate’s first task while working for the church was helping to publish The First Fifty Years of Relief Society. She worked on this for the first 4 years of her employment. 10:53
* In early church history adult women had to apply to become a member of the relief society. 11:35
*  Membership cards for relief society were distributed in early Nauvoo. 12:10
*  It was not until the 1970’s when you automatically became a member of the relief society if you were a female adult member of the church. 12:14
*  When the relief society was first founded it was referred to as the women’s quorum. 12:30
* The early years of relief society the women were very involved in the local board and local Red Cross. As the church grew, that fell away and they focused on ministry to a global church. 12:59

At The Pulpit, 185 years of Discourses by Latter-Day Saint Women.

* The authors of the book wrote introductions to each discourse and gave biographical information on the speakers. 14:00
* In the early years of the church the women would speak at sacrament meetings and cottage meetings, Talks could also be found in the Women’s Exponent Newspaper. These were all looked at as they studied which talks to included in the book. 16:07
*  Eliza R. Snow was a champion in helping women to stand up and find their voice. 19:24
*  Belle S. Spafford’s picture is on the cover of this book. She was the General Relief Society President for 30 years (1945-1975). She was also on the General Relief Society Board for 40 years. 19:49
* The criteria for this book was timeless well written talks, and talks that engage doctrine, and inspire. 26:39
*  The women in the book had a strong vision of their potential. They were going to save the world, not just the Mormon world but the whole world. 27:51
*  The support the women had for the suffrage movement was to restore women to her rightful place so her voice can be part of the running of the world. 28:02
*  As they prepared the book, they picked two or three talks per decade. 29:10
*  The talk they included from Sheri Dew explains how to learn the language of revelation when the Spirit talks to you. 29:57
*  The early sisters in the relief society were very organized and great at mentoring the coming generation. 30:39

Links:

* The First Fifty Years of Relief Society
* At the Pulpit 185 Years of Discourses by Latter-day Saint Women
* Church History Site: At the Pulpit 185 Years of Discourses by Latter-day Saint

 



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Leading Saints clean 36:59
Why Every Leader Needs to Understand Time Budgets | An Interview With Dave Crenshaw https://leadingsaints.org/why-every-leader-needs-to-understand-time-budgets-an-interview-with-dave-crenshaw/ Sun, 18 Jun 2017 12:00:19 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=34677 Dave Crenshaw is an author, speaker, and master of building productive leaders. He has appeared in Time magazine, USA Today, FastCompany, and the BBC News. His courses on LinkedIn Learning have received millions of views. He has written three books and counting, including The Myth of Multitasking which was published in six languages and is a time management bestseller. His fourth book, The Power of Having Fun, is due for release in September 2017. Dave was called to serve a mission in Portugal and was later reassigned to the Indiana, eventually assisting in the opening of Spanish-speaking Indianapolis. He attended Brigham Young University and currently resides in Herriman, Utah with his wife and kids. Episode Highlights: (14:00) Importance of clearly defined “dividing points” within the day/week. “Bank of time” principle – time behaves like money. Time demands and “interest rate” in repayment. Determining your “budget” and then not crossing it – actually under spend your time. Budgeting transition time between activities to allow for buffer time. Google setting “Speedy Meeting” that automatically adds buffer time in calendar. (20:00) How to Communicate time budget boundaries to others. Correct answer: Regularly scheduled meetings with those with whom you need to meet. Establishing a clear “when” to reduce the occurrence of “now”. Practical answer: Leave time each day/week unscheduled to allow for unexpected needs (buffer time). Time budget equivalent of a rainy day fund/emergency preparedness for our time. (24:30) Principles for running an effective meeting. Make sure that all meetings are action-oriented. Every meeting ends with a question. What are the actions that are going to be taken? Who is going to do them? When are they going to deliver them? Secretary makes note of the actions, gives reminders to the individuals assigned a task and a summary to the individual running the meeting. (27:20) The Myth of Multitasking. Be aware of “switch-tasking”. Switch-tasking on an individual communicates to them that they are not important. “Back-tasking”. (35:00) Public speaking tips (sacrament meeting, teaching lessons, etc). Went through seminary training program while at Brigham Young University. Feel confident about what we are doing. Teach Ye Diligently, by President Boyd K Packer. (39:00) Effectively using principles of Readiness, Participation, and Application. Links: DaveCrenshaw.com The Myth of Multitasking by Dave Crenshaw The Power of Having Fun by Dave Crenshaw Teach Ye Diligently by President Boyd K. Packer Dave Crenshaw is an author, speaker, and master of building productive leaders. He has appeared in Time magazine, USA Today, FastCompany, and the BBC News. His courses on LinkedIn Learning have received millions of views. The Myth of Multitasking which was published in six languages and is a time management bestseller. His fourth book, The Power of Having Fun, is due for release in September 2017. Dave was called to serve a mission in Portugal and was later reassigned to the Indiana, eventually assisting in the opening of Spanish-speaking Indianapolis. He attended Brigham Young University and currently resides in Herriman, Utah with his wife and kids.
Episode Highlights:
(14:00) Importance of clearly defined “dividing points” within the day/week.

* “Bank of time” principle – time behaves like money.
* Time demands and “interest rate” in repayment.
* Determining your “budget” and then not crossing it – actually under spend your time.
* Budgeting transition time between activities to allow for buffer time.
* Google setting “Speedy Meeting” that automatically adds buffer time in calendar.

(20:00) How to Communicate time budget boundaries to others.

* Correct answer: Regularly scheduled meetings with those with whom you need to meet.

* Establishing a clear “when” to reduce the occurrence of “now”.


* Practical answer: Leave time each day/week unscheduled to allow for unexpected needs (buffer time).

* Time budget equivalent of a rainy day fund/emergency preparedness for our time.



(24:30) Principles for running an effective meeting.

* Make sure that all meetings are action-oriented.
* Every meeting ends with a question.

* What are the actions that are going to be taken?
* Who is going to do them? When are they going to deliver them?
* Secretary makes note of the actions, gives reminders to the individuals assigned a task and a summary to the individual running the meeting.



(27:20) The Myth of Multitasking.

* Be aware of “switch-tasking”.
* Switch-tasking on an individual communicates to them that they are not important.
* “Back-tasking”.

(35:00) Public speaking tips (sacrament meeting, teaching lessons, etc).

* Went through seminary training program while at Brigham Young University.

* Feel confident about what we are doing.


* Teach Ye Diligently, by President Boyd K Packer.
* (39:00) Effectively using principles of Readiness, Participation, and Application.

Links:

* DaveCrenshaw.com
* The Myth of Multitasking by Dave Crenshaw
* The Power of Having Fun by Dave Crenshaw
* Teach Ye Diligently by President Boyd K. Packer
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Leading Saints clean 47:43
New Children’s Book to Teach Young Children About the Dangers of Pornography | An Interview With Kristen Jenson https://leadingsaints.org/new-childrens-book-to-teach-young-children-about-the-dangers-of-pornography-an-interview-with-kristen-jenson/ Sun, 11 Jun 2017 12:00:13 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=34674 Kristen Jenson, is the founder of ProtectYoungMinds.org and best selling author of Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-proofing Today’s Young Kids. She serves on the Prevention Task Force of the National Coalition to End Sexual Exploitation. She received her Bachelors degree in English Literature and a Masters degree in Organizational Communication. She currently lives in Washington state. She recently wrote the book Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr: A Simple Plan to Protect Young Minds, a book aimed at 3-6 years old. It’s an easy way for parents to start the conversation early to protect their young children. Episode Highlights Kristen shares that she didn’t receive a script on how to help talk to her children about pornography (4:34). How pornography impacts children in general was covered in the prior episode. The FBI did a study and found that among the growing problems with the internet and children the the biggest problem is sextortion (8:14). The book teaches children that it is never okay for someone to take pictures of themselves with out their clothes on or to take pictures of themselves and to post or share pictures (9:19). The best time to start taking to your kids about pornography is when they are 3-6, because this is when they are on the internet (10:32). Kristen explains the how she decided to adapt the message from the first book to the second book, when it targets a younger demographic (12:04). Introduces the Turn, Run & Tell plan for kids to use when they are exposed to bad pictures (14:12). The book contains sticky notes to encourage parents to have discussion with kids about different topics (14:49). This process is not just educating your child about the harm of pornography, but it’s about persuading them on an ongoing basis that you will be safer and happier if you stay away from bad pictures (15:41). Parents say that the book has helped them have better relationships with their children by discussing these difficult topics (16:16). The book compares bad pictures to poison and how it can hurt your body (17:28). One of the most dangerous things parents can say is that their children are 100% protected (19:00). If you start teaching your children young, the discussion won’t be awkward (21:20). Focus on building an eternal filter, that the child can recognize what the bad, know it can be harmful and to know what to do when they find it (21:40). How can church leaders use the book as a tool to help parents (22:38). Seeing Pornography as an addiction (25:20). Shame can fuel children to keep things they see a secret (31:17) Links Protect Young Minds Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr: A Simple Plan to Protect Young Minds Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-proofing Today’s Young Kids Past Leading Saints Interview with Kristen Salt Lake Tribune article about 'Sexortion'   Kristen Jenson, is the founder of ProtectYoungMinds.org and best selling author of Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-proofing Today’s Young Kids. She serves on the Prevention Task Force of the National Coalition to End Sexual Exploitation. ProtectYoungMinds.org and best selling author of Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-proofing Today’s Young Kids. She serves on the Prevention Task Force of the National Coalition to End Sexual Exploitation. She received her Bachelors degree in English Literature and a Masters degree in Organizational Communication. She currently lives in Washington state. She recently wrote the book Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr: A Simple Plan to Protect Young Minds, a book aimed at 3-6 years old. It’s an easy way for parents to start the conversation early to protect their young children.
Episode Highlights

* Kristen shares that she didn’t receive a script on how to help talk to her children about pornography (4:34).
* How pornography impacts children in general was covered in the prior episode.
* The FBI did a study and found that among the growing problems with the internet and children the the biggest problem is sextortion (8:14).
* The book teaches children that it is never okay for someone to take pictures of themselves with out their clothes on or to take pictures of themselves and to post or share pictures (9:19).
* The best time to start taking to your kids about pornography is when they are 3-6, because this is when they are on the internet (10:32).
* Kristen explains the how she decided to adapt the message from the first book to the second book, when it targets a younger demographic (12:04).
* Introduces the Turn, Run & Tell plan for kids to use when they are exposed to bad pictures (14:12).
* The book contains sticky notes to encourage parents to have discussion with kids about different topics (14:49).
* This process is not just educating your child about the harm of pornography, but it’s about persuading them on an ongoing basis that you will be safer and happier if you stay away from bad pictures (15:41).
* Parents say that the book has helped them have better relationships with their children by discussing these difficult topics (16:16).
* The book compares bad pictures to poison and how it can hurt your body (17:28).
* One of the most dangerous things parents can say is that their children are 100% protected (19:00).
* If you start teaching your children young, the discussion won’t be awkward (21:20).
* Focus on building an eternal filter, that the child can recognize what the bad, know it can be harmful and to know what to do when they find it (21:40).
* How can church leaders use the book as a tool to help parents (22:38).
* Seeing Pornography as an addiction (25:20).
* Shame can fuel children to keep things they see a secret (31:17)

Links
Protect Young Minds

Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr: A Simple Plan to Protect Young Minds

Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-proofing Today’s Young Kids

Past Leading Saints Interview with Kristen

https://leadingsaints.org/?p=34486 Maurice Harker is a Clinical Mental Health Counselor (CMHC) based in Farmington, UT. Born in the Pocatello, ID area, he served a mission in Detroit, MI originally started his career focused on marriage therapy. He is the founder of Life Changing Services, which includes programs such as Sons of Helaman, Men of Moroni, Daughters of Light, and others. He is the author of “Like Dragons Did They Fight,” which bridges the gap between the Spiritual and the Temporal (physical) factors of addiction and addiction recovery. 16:30 “For such a smart kid, you sure do some stupid things sometimes”. There’s a stereotype that the people we work with and have these problems are the “stupid” or undisciplined ones (they’re not) 19:00 “Watch your thoughts”. What if Satan has learned to talk to us (in our heads) in our own voice? What happens if he can get us to feel like we’re fighting against ourselves and create a civil war within our own minds – a psychological civil war – fighting ourselves within our own heads? What can be the consequences of civil war? It is a mistake to convince people they are fighting against themselves – there is an actual enemy fighting against them. 24:30 Fighting “harder” or “smarter” isn’t always the answer. Must train the person fighting the battle to acquire the spirit of discernment to recognize microscopic brain chemical changes. Thoughts cause chemical reactions (Satan can’t affect chemicals, but can affect thoughts). Example: A basketball team calling timeout in an attempt to shake an opposing player out of “the zone,” a mental state wherein the chemicals of their brain are running smoothly. Satan attempts to shake us from our “zone” state by creating a change in our chemical reactions (via our thoughts) 31:45 “Chemical Scale” – A useful way to identify how “off” we are. Level 10: Crash - A crash, or lost battle, is when your behavior is against your value system. Levels 5-10: “Stupid Mode”. Level 5: “Give Up Moment”. Level 4: “Irrational Conversation”. Level 3: “Dude Moment” – the suggestion moment, trigger moment (as called by scientists), the temptation moment (as called by religionists), or the thought moment. If we set our alarms to go off at Level 3, we’re missing the opportunity to win the battle at Levels 1 and 2 because those levels are being skipped (i.e. Bishops asking someone to call them AFTER they’re tempted – it won’t work).  Level 2 – Emotions and Feelings – when looking at the thoughts or emotions themselves and not the chemical associated with them an important level is being skipped. Level at which you’re having a strong negative feeling for legitimate reasons. Satan’s “psychological massage” moment. Level 1 – Chemical level – when you’re not deviant, but just “off”. Level 0 - “Awesomeness Zone” – the natural, spiritual state of mind. 40:45 Doing spiritual things to stay connected to God is necessary, but not sufficient. We still must train our bodies to respond correctly to being attacked. Insight and motivation doesn’t conquer an addiction problem 45:00 The antidote is already in our head. The chemical release needed to win our battles is similar to what David felt as he went up against Goliath – the chemical release that gives us the confidence that we can win. This is the complete opposite of what someone feels when they’re feeling shame. If we communicate with someone in such a way that they are depleted or more scared or weak we increase the likelihood they are going to lose their next battle. 47:00 What is addiction like in the brain? There is a mechanism in the brain that functions as a nut and bolt set. When you tighten down on a decision and it sticks, the brain is working correctly. When you tighten down and it strips the threads, this is addiction – when you tighten down on someone and they keep slipping. Maurice Harker is a Clinical Mental Health Counselor (CMHC) based in Farmington, UT. Born in the Pocatello, ID area, he served a mission in Detroit, MI originally started his career focused on marriage therapy.
16:30 “For such a smart kid, you sure do some stupid things sometimes”.

* There’s a stereotype that the people we work with and have these problems are the “stupid” or undisciplined ones (they’re not)

19:00 “Watch your thoughts”.

* What if Satan has learned to talk to us (in our heads) in our own voice?
* What happens if he can get us to feel like we’re fighting against ourselves and create a civil war within our own minds – a psychological civil war – fighting ourselves within our own heads?
* What can be the consequences of civil war?
* It is a mistake to convince people they are fighting against themselves – there is an actual enemy fighting against them.

24:30 Fighting “harder” or “smarter” isn’t always the answer.

* Must train the person fighting the battle to acquire the spirit of discernment to recognize microscopic brain chemical changes.
* Thoughts cause chemical reactions (Satan can’t affect chemicals, but can affect thoughts).
* Example: A basketball team calling timeout in an attempt to shake an opposing player out of “the zone,” a mental state wherein the chemicals of their brain are running smoothly.
* Satan attempts to shake us from our “zone” state by creating a change in our chemical reactions (via our thoughts)

31:45 “Chemical Scale” – A useful way to identify how “off” we are.

* Level 10: Crash - A crash, or lost battle, is when your behavior is against your value system.
* Levels 5-10: “Stupid Mode”.
* Level 5: “Give Up Moment”.
* Level 4: “Irrational Conversation”.
* Level 3: “Dude Moment” – the suggestion moment, trigger moment (as called by scientists), the temptation moment (as called by religionists), or the thought moment.

* If we set our alarms to go off at Level 3, we’re missing the opportunity to win the battle at Levels 1 and 2 because those levels are being skipped (i.e. Bishops asking someone to call them AFTER they’re tempted – it won’t work).


*  Level 2 – Emotions and Feelings – when looking at the thoughts or emotions themselves and not the chemical associated with them an important level is being skipped.

* Level at which you’re having a strong negative feeling for legitimate reasons.
* Satan’s “psychological massage” moment.


* Level 1 – Chemical level – when you’re not deviant, but just “off”.
* Level 0 - “Awesomeness Zone” – the natural, spiritual state of mind.

40:45 Doing spiritual things to stay connected to God is necessary, but not sufficient.

* We still must train our bodies to respond correctly to being attacked.
* Insight and motivation doesn’t conquer an addiction problem

45:00 The antidote is already in our head.

* The chemical release needed to win our battles is similar to what David felt as he went up against Goliath – the chemical release that gives us the confidence that we can win.
* This is the complete opposite of what someone feels when they’re feeling shame.
* If we communicate with someone in such a way that they are depleted or more scared or weak we increase the likelihood they are going to lose their next battle.

]]>
Leading Saints clean 60:49
How I Lead as Bishop in Hawaii | An Interview With Mark Harris https://leadingsaints.org/how-i-lead-as-bishop-in-hawaii-an-interview-with-mark-harris/ Sun, 28 May 2017 12:00:07 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=33932 Mark Harris, currently a bishop in Hawaii. He served his mission in Idaho, attended Ricks College, and was married in Idaho as well. 5 Principles of Leadership 37:09 - Center decisions on long term eternal perspective. 41:51 - Train, lift, and empower those you call. 46:16 - Sustain those in authority, your leaders and subordinates. 49:21 - Maintain order and humble obedience 51:31 - Go and Do Episode Highlights Where were you raised? As an “Army Brat” he lived all over the world. Where were you baptized? In Germany as an 8 year old. What is your church legacy? Martin Harris is a (many) great-uncle. 12:40 - Who’s the most famous Mormon you’ve met? 14:35 - Does your family have any General Conference traditions? 15:16 - Church callings, elders quorum instructor, elders quorum Counselor, elders quorum president, Single Adult Branch Presidency Counselor, Third Counselor in the Bishopric, HP Group Leader, and Bishop. 17:15 - What was the purpose of calling a third counselor in the Bishopric? There was a large military ward with high turnover with which a third counselor helped to lighten the load. 18:43 - Tell us the story of being called as a Bishop. 23:09 - Tell us about being in a “military” ward. 25:42 - Did you institute specific programs to make sure that everything was covered with military families schedules? 28:34 - Any general approach to keeping the ward staffed and not making it the focus of each bishopric meeting?         The bishopric was able to forecast callings as people’s military assignments changed. The counselors are also responsible for reaching out to their auxiliaries and making sure that staffing needs are understood. 30:08 - Are the current presidents training replacements?         It’s disappointing to not have training available. The bishopric can sit down and help the individual understand the scope of the calling and what is expected of them. Through PPIs and continued communication, all callings are receiving their appropriate level of training. Auxiliary leaders know that they are responsible for training anyone under their umbrella. 32:08 - In a military ward, what does your week to week look like?         A lot of officers and enlisted members work together, they are able to work together as saints when they are at church and swap roles when they are working in the military. 34:51 - Any unique approaches to weekly ward meetings?         Never show up to a meeting unprepared. Every bishopric meeting starts with a hymn and a spiritual thought or handbook training. Focusing on the spiritually uplifting part of the meeting has made a difference. 37:09 - Center decisions on long term eternal perspective.         If you don’t have a goal in mind before you start, it’s easy to spin your wheels. Remind yourself that everything you do in the church has one purpose, bringing people to Christ. Keeping the eternal perspective helps you stay focused and not get distracted by the small stuff. If you rise above your problems that are obscuring your view, you’ll be able to see beyond the temporary problems. 41:51 - Train, lift, and empower those you call.         As the Bishop, you help the administration of the ward, you also help guide spiritually. Point out the spiritual principles and teach every chance you get. As leaders, you train, uplift and teach spiritual principles to those you lead. Have regular PPIs with auxiliary heads, it makes sure that each auxiliary has the bishop’s support and helps train leaders in the future. Empower everyone in the ward and not just the leaders. 46:16 - Sustain those in authority, your leaders and subordinates.         Recognize that everyone in their calling has been called of God and you sustain them as much as they sustain you. Step back and let them accomplish their calling in their way. Decide ahead of time that whether you agree with it or not, that you will do what you’ve been asked to do. Mark Harris, currently a bishop in Hawaii. He served his mission in Idaho, attended Ricks College, and was married in Idaho as well. - 5 Principles of Leadership 37:09 - Center decisions on long term eternal perspective. 41:51 - Train, lift,
5 Principles of Leadership

37:09 - Center decisions on long term eternal perspective.
41:51 - Train, lift, and empower those you call.
46:16 - Sustain those in authority, your leaders and subordinates.
49:21 - Maintain order and humble obedience
51:31 - Go and Do

Episode Highlights
Where were you raised? As an “Army Brat” he lived all over the world.
Where were you baptized? In Germany as an 8 year old.
What is your church legacy? Martin Harris is a (many) great-uncle.
12:40 - Who’s the most famous Mormon you’ve met?
14:35 - Does your family have any General Conference traditions?
15:16 - Church callings, elders quorum instructor, elders quorum Counselor, elders quorum president, Single Adult Branch Presidency Counselor, Third Counselor in the Bishopric, HP Group Leader, and Bishop. 17:15 - What was the purpose of calling a third counselor in the Bishopric? There was a large military ward with high turnover with which a third counselor helped to lighten the load. 18:43 - Tell us the story of being called as a Bishop.
23:09 - Tell us about being in a “military” ward.
25:42 - Did you institute specific programs to make sure that everything was covered with military families schedules?
28:34 - Any general approach to keeping the ward staffed and not making it the focus of each bishopric meeting?
        The bishopric was able to forecast callings as people’s military assignments changed. The counselors are also responsible for reaching out to their auxiliaries and making sure that staffing needs are understood.
30:08 - Are the current presidents training replacements?
        It’s disappointing to not have training available. The bishopric can sit down and help the individual understand the scope of the calling and what is expected of them. Through PPIs and continued communication, all callings are receiving their appropriate level of training. Auxiliary leaders know that they are responsible for training anyone under their umbrella.
32:08 - In a military ward, what does your week to week look like?
        A lot of officers and enlisted members work together, they are able to work together as saints when they are at church and swap roles when they are working in the military.
34:51 - Any unique approaches to weekly ward meetings?
        Never show up to a meeting unprepared. Every bishopric meeting starts with a hymn and a spiritual thought or handbook training. Focusing on the spiritually uplifting part of the meeting has made a difference.
37:09 - Center decisions on long term eternal perspective.
        If you don’t have a goal in mind before you start, it’s easy to spin your wheels. Remind yourself that everything you do in the church has one purpose, bringing people to Christ. Keeping the eternal perspective helps you stay focused and not get distracted by the small stuff. If you rise above your problems that are obscuring your view, you’ll be able to see beyond the temporary problems.
41:51 - Train, lift, and empower those you call.
        As the Bishop, you help the administration of the ward, you also help guide spiritually. Point out the spiritual principles and teach every chance you get. As leaders, you train, uplift and teach spiritual principles to those you lead. Have regular PPIs with auxiliary heads, it makes sure that each auxiliary has the bishop’s support and helps train leaders in the future. Empower everyone in the ward and not just the leaders.
46:16 - Sustain those in authority, your leaders and subordinates.
        Recognize that everyone in their calling has been called of God and you sustain them as much as they sustain you.]]>
Leading Saints clean 58:40
What to do When the Bishop is an Accidental Diminisher | An Interview With Liz Wiseman https://leadingsaints.org/what-to-do-when-the-bishop-is-an-accidental-diminisher-an-interview-with-liz-wiseman/ Sun, 21 May 2017 12:00:50 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=33863 Liz Wiseman has been named as one of the top 10 leadership thinkers in the world and teaches leadership to executives and emerging leaders internationally. She is the President of The Wiseman Group, a leadership research and development firm headquartered in Silicon Valley. She is the author of three best-selling books: Rookie Smarts: Why Learning Beats Knowing in the New Game of Work, Multipliers: How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter and The Multiplier Effect: Tapping the Genius Inside Our Schools. Her book Mulitipliers: How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter was recently revised and updated.  In this episode we talk about these revisions and what to do when we have a leader that is a "diminisher." A FULL TRANSCRIPT OF THE INTERVIEW IS BELOW Interview Highlights: 3:30 Revised edition of Multipliers 7:00 Diminishers as leaders 8:30 How do we build a culture of leaders 11:30 How to see the accidental diminisher in you 16:00 How to approach a diminisher?               Most common strategies (that don't typically work)- Confront them Avoid them Quit Comply and lay low Ignore the diminishing behavior 18:00 Experience of Liz confronting a Relief Society President 21:00 Role play- good guy/bad boss 25:45 How to respond to a diminisher- Curiousity approach/ask questions          "I wonder why?" Have empathy.  Who did wrong by this person?  Who micromanaged them? 27:40 Having empathy for the people we work under changes the dynamics 28:15 Instead of excluding the diminisher, ask their opinion 30:00 You don't get to change other people but you can change your response 31:00 You have the choice to be the Multiplier yourself.  It doesn't have to come from the top 32:00 Choose to respond with love 33:00 You don't have to be the boss to be the Multiplier 34:15 Fluid leadership 37:00 Defensive moves- turn the volume down 39:00 Retreat and regroup- example from Apple executive Steve Jobs 42:00 Assert your capability- good strategy to deal with accidental diminisher- "I got this" 46:15 What Liz has learned about her discipleship of Jesus Christ Links: Order the revised edition of Multipliers Other Liz Wiseman interviews with Leading Saints Full Interview Transcript: Kurt Francom (LS): Liz, this is your third time on the Leading Saints podcast, and I welcome you back. Liz Wiseman: It's good to be here. You know, I actually thought it might be my fourth time, but it might- LS: It may be! Liz Wiseman: It might be the third or the fourth, but I hope you're suspicious that I'm out for your job, that I actually want to be the host of the Leading Saints broadcast. LS: There you are. Well, it's yours. Liz Wiseman: Because I keep coming back. LS: You speak the words, and you can be the host of Leading Saints. I think you're much more qualified than I will ever dream of being. Nonetheless, [00:03:25] I always mention how kind you've been to the Leading Saints organization, and the way we've interacted. I do name drop your name for various times. "Yeah, I actually know Liz Wiseman, you know, so, she's a pretty big deal." Right? Liz Wiseman: We teach together. LS: We do, we do. The reason why we got this interview together is, you have recently revised your world-renowned, best-selling book, I'll build it up as it should be, of "Multipliers". You done a revised edition, is that right? Liz Wiseman: [00:01:00] We have. We've done a revised edition, it's really just started for me as just a little bit of a thorn that was in my side because there is this question that keeps coming up over and over. I've been trying to address it, and that led to this next edition. The question that had just come up for so many people, they say "I read your book. I very much want to be a multiplier, but I have to say, my biggest [00:01:30] angst is the fact that I'm stuck working for a diminisher. What do I do?" I wasn't hearing that question every now and then; I was hearing it ... Liz Wiseman has been named as one of the top 10 leadership thinkers in the world and teaches leadership to executives and emerging leaders internationally. She is the President of The Wiseman Group, a leadership research and development firm headquarte...


Liz Wiseman has been named as one of the top 10 leadership thinkers in the world and teaches leadership to executives and emerging leaders internationally. She is the President of The Wiseman Group, a leadership research and development firm headquartered in Silicon Valley. She is the author of three best-selling books: Rookie Smarts: Why Learning Beats Knowing in the New Game of Work, Multipliers: How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter and The Multiplier Effect: Tapping the Genius Inside Our Schools. Her book Mulitipliers: How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter was recently revised and updated.  In this episode we talk about these revisions and what to do when we have a leader that is a "diminisher."



A FULL TRANSCRIPT OF THE INTERVIEW IS BELOW


Interview Highlights:
3:30 Revised edition of Multipliers
7:00 Diminishers as leaders
8:30 How do we build a culture of leaders
11:30 How to see the accidental diminisher in you
16:00 How to approach a diminisher?
              Most common strategies (that don't typically work)-

* Confront them
* Avoid them
* Quit
* Comply and lay low
* Ignore the diminishing behavior

18:00 Experience of Liz confronting a Relief Society President
21:00 Role play- good guy/bad boss
25:45 How to respond to a diminisher- Curiousity approach/ask questions
         "I wonder why?" Have empathy.  Who did wrong by this person?  Who micromanaged them?
27:40 Having empathy for the people we work under changes the dynamics
28:15 Instead of excluding the diminisher, ask their opinion
30:00 You don't get to change other people but you can change your response
31:00 You have the choice to be the Multiplier yourself.  It doesn't have to come from the top
32:00 Choose to respond with love
33:00 You don't have to be the boss to be the Multiplier
34:15 Fluid leadership
37:00 Defensive moves- turn the volume down
39:00 Retreat and regroup- example from Apple executive Steve Jobs
42:00 Assert your capability- good strategy to deal with accidental diminisher- "I got this"
46:15 What Liz has learned about her discipleship of Jesus Christ
Links:
Order the revised edition of Multipliers
Other Liz Wiseman interviews with Leading Saints
Full Interview Transcript:
Kurt Francom (LS): Liz, this is your third time on the Leading Saints podcast, and I welcome you back.

Liz Wiseman: It's good to be here. You know, I actually thought it might be my fourth time, but it might-

LS: It may be!

Liz Wiseman: It might be the third or the fourth, but I hope you're suspicious that I'm out for your job, that I actually want to be the host of the Leading Saints broadcast.

LS: There you are. Well, it's yours.

Liz Wiseman: Because I keep coming back.

LS: You speak the words, and you can be the host of Leading Saints. I think you're much more qualified than I will ever dream of being. Nonetheless, [00:03:25] I always mention how kind you've been to the Leading Saints organization, and the way we've interacted. I do name drop your name for various times. "Yeah, I actually know Liz Wiseman, you know, so, she's a pretty big deal." Right?]]> Leading Saints clean 47:04 How I Lead as Assistant Ward Clerk | An Interview With Mikel Roper https://leadingsaints.org/how-i-lead-as-assistant-ward-clerk-an-interview-with-mikal-roper/ Sun, 14 May 2017 13:00:00 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=33148 Mikel Roper is an Assistant Ward Clerk over Finance, and a Temple Ordinance Worker. Episode Highlights 4:20 - There is a lot of responsibility that goes along with being called as a clerk 5:19 - Where were you raised? When were you baptized? Did you serve a mission? Did you attend college? What is your vocation? Are you married and where did you meet? Do you have any children? Who is the most famous Mormon you’ve ever met? What is the first general conference talk that comes to mind? What is your favorite General Conference tradition? If you were to speak in General Conference which would you choose? What makes you a unique Mormon? What callings have you had and what’s your current calling? 17:00 - Did your technical background help you as a clerk? When the high councilman asked him to do it, he said it’s for the ward and not for the stake. How have you seen that manifest? The Bishop stated he didn’t have to worry about the finances because it’s in good hands. It’s a support to the bishop. 18:54 - How would you describe the week to week duties? Counting tithing, making sure it’s correct so when audits happen, he knows that everything is correct. Kindness begins with me: 20:02 - Kindness doesn’t always come natural, it’s not what you say to people but how you say it. When you’re helping others with finances, it’s very easy to say no, but in the role as a clerk you can build relationships. By helping everyone understand the math involved, it’s 21:36 - There are policies involved, but seeking to understand helps validate concerns and efforts by others. Interacting with all auxiliaries is part of the calling and be LISTEN: 22:34 - God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. If we’re always talking we can’t hear the words others are saying. We may be hearing what is said but not listening. The spirit can help guide. Provide people with the experience with being free to choose and leave them satisfied with the process that led to their choice: 23:47 - Coming from a leadership training, we want to feel like our point is valid. When you limit the ability for others to do something, you limit their agency. People don’t have to be satisfied with the choices they make or the consequences, it’s more about the ability to choose. As a clerk, you provide policy advice and help the others understand how to make choices along policy lines. Be sincere and open about choices and consequences. Manage your stewardship: 26:58 - Create a process that works for you and be consistent. Having a clean audit and making sure that your process works is important. Making sure that getting reimbursements are out in a timely manner is important as a clerk. Make sure to communicate with members on when reimbursement checks are going to be available. Make sure that your processes help the bishopric work smoothly and that reports are available in a timely manner. Checklists can help get you started with getting everything done that’s necessary and important. Counsel when appropriate: 31:20 - Clerks have a responsibility to know the policy and procedures and make sure that the bishopric is aware. The bishop can counsel from there on what the ward can do, but it’s important to make sure that what is under your stewardship is in line with church policy. You can respect priesthood authority by offering information, then the authority can make a better informed decision. Invite the spirit by following the promptings that come: 35:24 - Make sure to listen to the voice that suggests you double check your work. The spirit will help you remember work that you need to get done. We need the Holy Spirit in our administrating callings as well. This is the Lord’s money that we’re managing and we need to make sure that we’re managing it how He would. If you don’t have the spirit in your life, it’s not going to be in your calling either. Mikel Roper is an Assistant Ward Clerk over Finance, and a Temple Ordinance Worker. Episode Highlights 4:20 - There is a lot of responsibility that goes along with being called as a clerk 5:19 - Where were you raised? When were you baptized? Episode Highlights

* 4:20 - There is a lot of responsibility that goes along with being called as a clerk
* 5:19 - Where were you raised? When were you baptized? Did you serve a mission? Did you attend college? What is your vocation? Are you married and where did you meet? Do you have any children? Who is the most famous Mormon you’ve ever met? What is the first general conference talk that comes to mind? What is your favorite General Conference tradition? If you were to speak in General Conference which would you choose? What makes you a unique Mormon? What callings have you had and what’s your current calling?
* 17:00 - Did your technical background help you as a clerk? When the high councilman asked him to do it, he said it’s for the ward and not for the stake. How have you seen that manifest? The Bishop stated he didn’t have to worry about the finances because it’s in good hands. It’s a support to the bishop.
* 18:54 - How would you describe the week to week duties? Counting tithing, making sure it’s correct so when audits happen, he knows that everything is correct.


* Kindness begins with me:

* 20:02 - Kindness doesn’t always come natural, it’s not what you say to people but how you say it. When you’re helping others with finances, it’s very easy to say no, but in the role as a clerk you can build relationships. By helping everyone understand the math involved, it’s
* 21:36 - There are policies involved, but seeking to understand helps validate concerns and efforts by others. Interacting with all auxiliaries is part of the calling and be


* LISTEN:

* 22:34 - God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. If we’re always talking we can’t hear the words others are saying. We may be hearing what is said but not listening. The spirit can help guide.


* Provide people with the experience with being free to choose and leave them satisfied with the process that led to their choice:

* 23:47 - Coming from a leadership training, we want to feel like our point is valid. When you limit the ability for others to do something, you limit their agency. People don’t have to be satisfied with the choices they make or the consequences, it’s more about the ability to choose. As a clerk, you provide policy advice and help the others understand how to make choices along policy lines. Be sincere and open about choices and consequences.


* Manage your stewardship:

* 26:58 - Create a process that works for you and be consistent. Having a clean audit and making sure that your process works is important. Making sure that getting reimbursements are out in a timely manner is important as a clerk. Make sure to communicate with members on when reimbursement checks are going to be available. Make sure that your processes help the bishopric work smoothly and that reports are available in a timely manner. Checklists can help get you started with getting everything done that’s necessary and important.


* Counsel when appropriate:

* 31:20 - Clerks have a responsibility to know the policy and procedures and make sure that the bishopric is aware. The bishop can counsel from there on what the ward can do, but it’s important to make sure that what is under your stewardship is in line with church policy. You can respect priesthood authority by offering information, then the authority can make a better informed decision.


* Invite the spirit by following the promptings that come:

* 35:24 - Make sure to listen to the voice that suggests you double check your work. The spirit will help you remember work that you need to get done. We need the Holy Spirit in our administrating c...]]>
Leading Saints clean 48:12
Managing the Counseling Burden as an LDS Leader | An Interview with Dr. Paul Jenkins https://leadingsaints.org/managing-the-counseling-burden-as-an-lds-leader-an-interview-with-dr-paul-jenkins/ Mon, 08 May 2017 00:00:47 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=33101 Paul Jenkins is a positivity psychologist, author, and speaker. He has written three books, gives keynotes and trainings on positivity and related topics, produces a weekly podcast called Live On Purpose Radio, and sees individual clients at his office in a positive psychology counseling setting. He is also a former bishop (twice). In this episode, Paul gives advice from the perspective of a counselor to ecclesiastical leaders. Episode Summary 4:15 Men are that they might have joy—positive psychology 7:20 Approach to depression 8:30 Helping members with addiction, as a bishop 13:50 Podcast—Live On Purpose 15:00 Labeling people instead of looking at them as a child of God 16:00 Serving multiple roles as a bishop/ecclesiastical leader 18:00 Take care of yourself first 20:00 Put competent people in positions of power and get out of their way 22:30 Practice receiving any information as a bishop as if it's the news report 26:45 Using members' talents in the ward as part of the bishop's storehouse 31:45 Enhancing communication between a bishop and a counselor 35:55 A bishop's role to help those with problems progress from appointment to appointment 38:00 What to do if the leader is taking more of the burden than the member 44:00 How do we live on purpose? Links: Pathological Positivity by Dr. Paul Jenkins Falling to Heaven, by James Ferrell Dr. Paul Jenkins Website Dr. Paul Jenkins Podcast Paul Jenkins is a positivity psychologist, author, and speaker. He has written three books, gives keynotes and trainings on positivity and related topics, produces a weekly podcast called Live On Purpose Radio, Live On Purpose Radio, and sees individual clients at his office in a positive psychology counseling setting. He is also a former bishop (twice). In this episode, Paul gives advice from the perspective of a counselor to ecclesiastical leaders.
Episode Summary
4:15 Men are that they might have joy—positive psychology
7:20 Approach to depression
8:30 Helping members with addiction, as a bishop
13:50 Podcast—Live On Purpose
15:00 Labeling people instead of looking at them as a child of God
16:00 Serving multiple roles as a bishop/ecclesiastical leader
18:00 Take care of yourself first
20:00 Put competent people in positions of power and get out of their way
22:30 Practice receiving any information as a bishop as if it's the news report
26:45 Using members' talents in the ward as part of the bishop's storehouse
31:45 Enhancing communication between a bishop and a counselor
35:55 A bishop's role to help those with problems progress from appointment to appointment
38:00 What to do if the leader is taking more of the burden than the member
44:00 How do we live on purpose?
Links:
Pathological Positivity by Dr. Paul Jenkins

Falling to Heaven, by James Ferrell

Dr. Paul Jenkins Website

Dr. Paul Jenkins Podcast]]>
Leading Saints clean 47:25
How I Lead a Stake of Zion in Ireland | An Interview With Pres. Mark Coffey https://leadingsaints.org/how-i-lead-a-stake-of-zion-in-ireland-an-interview-with-pres-mark-coffey/ Mon, 01 May 2017 22:35:18 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=33348 Mark Coffey was raised in an LDS family on the coast of southern Ireland, and has lived in Dublin, Ireland, since he was 12 years old. He works as an IT Manager. Mark met his spouse as a teenager and they have been married 22 years. He was a missionary in the Canada, Winnipeg mission, has served in many ward callings including as a bishop, and is now part of a stake presidency. Episode Highlights How his call in the stake presidency came about (16:15) Transition from being Bishop to being a counselor in the stake presidency (18:30) Helped to have been a bishop and know what he needed from his counselors Different characteristics of the Church in Ireland (19:45) Missionary work is at the top of their minds all the time A lot of non-national members and recent converts, making it very multicultural Meeting approaches as a bishopric and stake presidency (22:45) Temple recommend interviews (25:20) Home and Visiting Teaching approaches for spread-out units (26:20) Five Leadership Principles Have a clear view of God’s vision for you and your calling (27:15) Home teaching example: Channel your inner President Monson Learn the difference between the traditions and the doctrine in the principles of your calling (32:15) Find out the core of what you’re trying to do, don’t cut out the things that work, but cut out the unnecessary Enable those around you to see and achieve their potential (36:10) Give direction and allow others to run with it Embrace change: This is God’s work and he will change you to make you fit for purpose (38:20) Look for criticism “Leadership in the Church is not about directing others but your willingness to be directed by God.”—President Dieter F. Uchtdorf (40:00) Be in tune and find a way to make sure you’re doing what the Lord wants you to do How has serving as a leader made you a better disciple of Christ? (42:10) Links: Good, Better, Best by Elder Dallin H. Oaks This Week in Mormons Tie Tracker Mark Coffey was raised in an LDS family on the coast of southern Ireland, and has lived in Dublin, Ireland, since he was 12 years old. He works as an IT Manager. Mark met his spouse as a teenager and they have been married 22 years. Episode Highlights

* How his call in the stake presidency came about (16:15)
* Transition from being Bishop to being a counselor in the stake presidency (18:30)
* Helped to have been a bishop and know what he needed from his counselors
* Different characteristics of the Church in Ireland (19:45)
* Missionary work is at the top of their minds all the time
* A lot of non-national members and recent converts, making it very multicultural
* Meeting approaches as a bishopric and stake presidency (22:45)
* Temple recommend interviews (25:20)
* Home and Visiting Teaching approaches for spread-out units (26:20)

Five Leadership Principles

Have a clear view of God’s vision for you and your calling (27:15)

Home teaching example: Channel your inner President Monson


Learn the difference between the traditions and the doctrine in the principles of your calling (32:15)

Find out the core of what you’re trying to do, don’t cut out the things that work, but cut out the unnecessary


Enable those around you to see and achieve their potential (36:10)

Give direction and allow others to run with it


Embrace change: This is God’s work and he will change you to make you fit for purpose (38:20)

Look for criticism


“Leadership in the Church is not about directing others but your willingness to be directed by God.”—President Dieter F. Uchtdorf (40:00)

Be in tune and find a way to make sure you’re doing what the Lord wants you to do



How has serving as a leader made you a better disciple of Christ? (42:10)
Links:
Good, Better, Best by Elder Dallin H. Oaks

This Week in Mormons Tie Tracker]]>
Leading Saints clean 42:54
Gold Medal Leadership | Guest post by Jeremy C. Holm https://leadingsaints.org/gold-medal-leadership-guest-post-by-jeremy-c-holm/ Tue, 25 Apr 2017 13:00:56 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=32285 Jeremy is a renowned keynote and motivational speaker and conducts leadership and teamwork seminars and lectures for corporations and groups across the map. He is also a sought-after presenter for firesides, school assemblies, public events, expos, and tradeshows. Jeremy served his mission in the San Pedro Sula, Honduras mission, currently resides in Salt Lake City, Utah, and is a member of the Willow Creek 1st Ward. Be sure to listen to the attached interview with Jeremy where he talks more about his leadership and coaching experience. Enter Jeremy... Leadership Under Fire On February 13, 1945, “I” Company from the U.S. Army’s 11th Airborne Division’s Third Battalion and “D” Company from Second Battalion were ordered to attack Mt. Bijang, a hill overlooking Manila, that allowed Japanese forces to shell the city. The battle lasted all day long with attacks and counter-attacks, and as D Company’s commanding officer, Steve Cavanaugh said, “The action was pretty bad up there…” In all the commotion of the battle, a lone figure crept up to Cavanaugh’s side, firing away with his M-1 Garand rifle when Japanese machine gun fire burst into their ranks and a voice cried out, “Steve, I’ve been hit!” Cavanaugh glanced over with concern that turned to surprise. “Carrico!” he shouted. “What are you doing up here?” The wounded paratrooper was my grandfather, 1st Lieutenant Andrew J. Carrico, III. Despite the pain he was in, Grandpa obediently responded to his CO, “I had to be with my men.” You see, Cavanaugh had ordered Grandpa to rest that day and to stay behind the fighting line since he had experienced front line combat for over a month. But Grandpa couldn’t do that. Why did Grandpa place himself in such danger? Why did he seek out those who were in such precarious circumstances on that South Pacific hillside? The purest answer that can be given is that he did it out of love. Champion Leaders You learn a lot of things when you’re coaching athletes who are hurtling themselves down icy tracks at over eighty miles an hour in fiberglass and metal rockets. You come to appreciate perspective and the wider viewpoint that comes from experience. You come to respect guidelines and safety measures even more when you are in charge of organizing and running a semi-experimental program. You learn that every athlete learns differently and comes to the table (I mean, ice) with their own mindsets and goals and emotional energies. When I was the head coach for the U.S. Adaptive Bobsled Team, I felt a kinship to my grandfather, who demonstrated such courage and compassion for his men and for the future of the free world. While I will never match his level of sacrifice and bravery, I wanted to honor his example as I sought to help develop some of the world’s first adaptive bobsled athletes. As I thought about the way he led his men, I could not help but think of the Savior and the way He leads. Indeed, His example is the ultimate case study on leadership and if we sincerely desire to make a difference in the lives of those around us, we would do well to study His life and follow His pattern. If we are but willing to do this, then we will be able to follow the invitation of President George Albert Smith who said, “It is your duty first of all to learn what the Lord wants and then by the power and strength of your holy priesthood to so magnify your calling in the presence of your fellows that the people will be glad to follow you” (The Church News, 7 Sept 1968, p.15.) To that end, here are three principles of what I call Gold Medal Leadership, which I have observed from the Savior’s life and teachings in the scriptures. 1. Know Who You Lead Whether you are a leader in combat, in business, in sports, or in a Sunday School classroom, understanding that those you lead are unique children of our Father in Heaven is key. Do you know what makes them tick? Do you know what their hopes and their dreams are? Jeremy is a renowned keynote and motivational speaker and conducts leadership and teamwork seminars and lectures for corporations and groups across the map. He is also a sought-after presenter for firesides, school assemblies, public events, expos, Jeremy served his mission in the San Pedro Sula, Honduras mission, currently resides in Salt Lake City, Utah, and is a member of the Willow Creek 1st Ward.

Be sure to listen to the attached interview with Jeremy where he talks more about his leadership and coaching experience.
Enter Jeremy...
Leadership Under Fire
On February 13, 1945, “I” Company from the U.S. Army’s 11th Airborne Division’s Third Battalion and “D” Company from Second Battalion were ordered to attack Mt. Bijang, a hill overlooking Manila, that allowed Japanese forces to shell the city. The battle lasted all day long with attacks and counter-attacks, and as D Company’s commanding officer, Steve Cavanaugh said, “The action was pretty bad up there…”

In all the commotion of the battle, a lone figure crept up to Cavanaugh’s side, firing away with his M-1 Garand rifle when Japanese machine gun fire burst into their ranks and a voice cried out, “Steve, I’ve been hit!”

Cavanaugh glanced over with concern that turned to surprise. “Carrico!” he shouted. “What are you doing up here?”

The wounded paratrooper was my grandfather, 1st Lieutenant Andrew J. Carrico, III. Despite the pain he was in, Grandpa obediently responded to his CO, “I had to be with my men.” You see, Cavanaugh had ordered Grandpa to rest that day and to stay behind the fighting line since he had experienced front line combat for over a month. But Grandpa couldn’t do that.

Why did Grandpa place himself in such danger? Why did he seek out those who were in such precarious circumstances on that South Pacific hillside?

The purest answer that can be given is that he did it out of love.
Champion Leaders
You learn a lot of things when you’re coaching athletes who are hurtling themselves down icy tracks at over eighty miles an hour in fiberglass and metal rockets. You come to appreciate perspective and the wider viewpoint that comes from experience. You come to respect guidelines and safety measures even more when you are in charge of organizing and running a semi-experimental program. You learn that every athlete learns differently and comes to the table (I mean, ice) with their own mindsets and goals and emotional energies.

When I was the head coach for the U.S. Adaptive Bobsled Team, I felt a kinship to my grandfather, who demonstrated such courage and compassion for his men and for the future of the free world. While I will never match his level of sacrifice and bravery, I wanted to honor his example as I sought to help develop some of the world’s first adaptive bobsled athletes. As I thought about the way he led his men, I could not help but think of the Savior and the way He leads. Indeed, His example is the ultimate case study on leadership and if we sincerely desire to make a difference in the lives of those around us, we would do well to study His life and follow His pattern.

If we are but willing to do this, then we will be able to follow the invitation of President George Albert Smith who said, “It is your duty first of all to learn what the Lord wants and then by the power and strength of your holy priesthood to so magnify your calling in the presence of your fellows that the people will be glad to follow you” (The Church News, 7 Sept 1968, p.15.)

To that end, here are three principles of what I call Gold Medal Leadership, which I have observed from the Savior’s life and teachings in the scriptures.
1. Know Who You Lead
Whether you are a leader in combat, in business, in sports, or in a Sunday School classroom,]]>
Leading Saints clean 49:39
The Art of [Mormon] Manliness | An Interview With Brett McKay https://leadingsaints.org/the-art-of-mormon-manliness-an-interview-with-brett-mckay/ Tue, 18 Apr 2017 15:59:20 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=32281 Brett McKay founded The Art Of Manliness in 2008 while he was attending law school. It has grown into one of the largest men’s magazines on the web. Brett has also published several books and eBooks. He also hosts the popular podcast, The Art of Manliness. These podcasts cover a wide variety of topics, all centered around helping men. Brett grew up in the LDS Church and served a mission in Tijuana, Mexico. He has served in many capacities in the Church including Sunday School President. He is currently serving as the elders quorum president in his ward. Brett, his wife Kate, and their two children reside in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Episode Summary & Highlights What I learned as Sunday School President (16:31) The importance of good teachers (16:50) Discuss with your bishop the importance of calling the best teachers (18:03) Model what good teaching looks like and encourage good class discussion (18:25) Why more women are attending church vs. men The gender disparity in church and why more women are actively attending vs. men (21:30) How dating behavior changes among men and women. See Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game (23:25) Millennial dating is affected by gender ratios (26:05) How men express their spirituality (29:54) Ward Council: The relationships between the people in the ward (33:45) Introverts and extro`verts express their spirituality differently (35:40) Ways the Elders Quorum can serve on Sunday (39:33) Train future leaders during Elders Quorum (41:16) Resources and Sites: The Art of Manliness website The Art of Manliness Facebook page Brett McKay’s Books and eBooks The Art Of Manliness Podcast Why Men Hate Going to Church, by David Murrow Manhood In The Making, by David Gilmore Date-onomics, by Jon Birger Brett McKay founded The Art Of Manliness in 2008 while he was attending law school. It has grown into one of the largest men’s magazines on the web. Brett has also published several books and eBooks. He also hosts the popular podcast, The Art Of Manliness in 2008 while he was attending law school. It has grown into one of the largest men’s magazines on the web. Brett has also published several books and eBooks. He also hosts the popular podcast, The Art of Manliness. These podcasts cover a wide variety of topics, all centered around helping men.

Brett grew up in the LDS Church and served a mission in Tijuana, Mexico. He has served in many capacities in the Church including Sunday School President. He is currently serving as the elders quorum president in his ward. Brett, his wife Kate, and their two children reside in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
Episode Summary & Highlights
What I learned as Sunday School President (16:31)

* The importance of good teachers (16:50)
* Discuss with your bishop the importance of calling the best teachers (18:03)
* Model what good teaching looks like and encourage good class discussion (18:25)

Why more women are attending church vs. men

* The gender disparity in church and why more women are actively attending vs. men (21:30)
* How dating behavior changes among men and women. See Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game (23:25)
* Millennial dating is affected by gender ratios (26:05)
* How men express their spirituality (29:54)
* Ward Council: The relationships between the people in the ward (33:45)
* Introverts and extro`verts express their spirituality differently (35:40)
* Ways the Elders Quorum can serve on Sunday (39:33)
* Train future leaders during Elders Quorum (41:16)

Resources and Sites:
The Art of Manliness website
The Art of Manliness Facebook page
Brett McKay’s Books and eBooks
The Art Of Manliness Podcast
Why Men Hate Going to Church, by David Murrow
Manhood In The Making, by David Gilmore
Date-onomics, by Jon Birger]]>
Leading Saints clean 47:28
Motivating the Minister – Podcast Preview https://leadingsaints.org/motivating-the-minister-podcast-preview/ Mon, 17 Apr 2017 23:40:56 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=32327 Join Us Starting April 22, 2017 I wanted to invite all the podcast listeners to join me starting this Saturday, April 22, for the free session of the Motivating the Minister Virtual Summit. We are all leaders, but do we know how to motivate? At Leading Saints the number one question we receive from elders quorum presidents, relief society presidents, or any leader called to serve is, how can I motivate those I lead? They won’t home teach, they won’t do family history, they won’t share the gospel, they won’t even bake a casserole for the sick neighbor down the street. How can leaders motivate those they lead to accomplish the goals that are set before us? Thank goodness this big question is being answered during a virtual online summit called, Motivating the Minister: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Home/Visiting Teachers. Leading Saints has gathered some of the sharpest mind on motivation: Brad Wilcox, Paul Gustavson, DeAnna Murphy, Scott Newman, Steve Shallenberger, and more. Over 8 hours of content! These leadership experts will all instruct us on building the skillset to be leaders that motivate. Join us starting April 22 when the keynote session will be free for 7 days. To attend you need to visit leadingsaints.org and put your name on the list. Let’s start a journey together to become leaders that can motivate! Click HERE for details. Join Us Starting April 22, 2017 I wanted to invite all the podcast listeners to join me starting this Saturday, April 22, for the free session of the Motivating the Minister Virtual Summit. - We are all leaders, but do we know how to motivate? I wanted to invite all the podcast listeners to join me starting this Saturday, April 22, for the free session of the Motivating the Minister Virtual Summit.

We are all leaders, but do we know how to motivate? At Leading Saints the number one question we receive from elders quorum presidents, relief society presidents, or any leader called to serve is, how can I motivate those I lead? They won’t home teach, they won’t do family history, they won’t share the gospel, they won’t even bake a casserole for the sick neighbor down the street. How can leaders motivate those they lead to accomplish the goals that are set before us?

Thank goodness this big question is being answered during a virtual online summit called, Motivating the Minister: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Home/Visiting Teachers. Leading Saints has gathered some of the sharpest mind on motivation: Brad Wilcox, Paul Gustavson, DeAnna Murphy, Scott Newman, Steve Shallenberger, and more. Over 8 hours of content! These leadership experts will all instruct us on building the skillset to be leaders that motivate. Join us starting April 22 when the keynote session will be free for 7 days. To attend you need to visit leadingsaints.org and put your name on the list. Let’s start a journey together to become leaders that can motivate!

Click HERE for details.]]>
Leading Saints clean 9:09
How to Help Future Missionaries Serve Strong But Stay Sane | An Interview With Gary Taylor https://leadingsaints.org/how-to-help-future-missionaries-serve-strong-but-stay-sane-an-interview-with-gary-taylor/ Tue, 11 Apr 2017 17:18:39 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=32193 Born in Southern Idaho and now living in Hurricane, Utah, Dr. Gary Taylor spent his career of more than 40 years working as a clinical psychologist. Now retired, he and his wife have served two senior missions, first in Europe and most recently in the South Pacific. Working with mission presidents and missionaries to offer mental health advice and assistance, Brother Taylor began to see patterns emerge of the common struggles that missionaries have. The experiences have become the basis for his book, Serve Strong and Stay Sane: 10 Mistakes that will Ruin Your Mission and Your Life. Brother Taylor continues to learn new things in his work with missionaries, emphasizing that as he would work with them he could feel the love and concern that Heavenly Father has for them. He also emphasizes that while the transition from teenager to missionary can be a difficult one, the struggles experienced may not always be mental illness-related, but rather the normal added stress that comes with being a missionary. For some missionaries this can be an unexpected and difficult process to deal with. In this episode, Brother Taylor discusses a number of common mistakes and offers prospective missionaries, parents, and leaders tips and counsel as they prepare for—or assist others in preparing for—effective missionary service. Episode Highlights Many of the tools that are generally recommended to those suffering stress and anxiety (i.e. going for a run, reading a novel, talking to a friend) are not available to missionaries. Other methods must be utilized. (10:00) Tips and counsel for leaders meeting with prospective missionaries - become familiar with the 10 common reasons why missionaries struggle (12:00) Having unrealistic expectations (13:00) Mission service isn’t going to necessarily solve any existing personal problem(s) – in many cases it actually makes them more difficult to solve Expecting it to be a non-stop spiritual experience With enough faith and effort baptisms will happen (if that is the measure of success, as defined by the missionary) Be more prepared for an “Aaron experience” rather than an “Ammon experience” Failing to see the big picture – why they’re there and what it's really all about (19:00) Bishops and Stake Presidents can help prospective missionaries to set realistic expectations Help them be able to answer the questions “When things aren’t working out, how can I stay motivated to do the right thing?” and “What are the reasons to be here when it doesn’t look like anything productive is happening?” Worrying about things that are beyond the missionary’s control (23:45) Mission related things Things happening back home Have prospective missionaries inventory their worries (write them down), then take each one and ask, “Is this something I can control?” If not, then decide not to worry about it. If it is, then I need to come up with a plan to do what I can to resolve the worry or concern. Sometimes it's unclear if the worry is beyond control or not. Parents and leaders can be a resource to go to to understand if there is something I can do to overcome it. ADD (Awareness, Decision, Distraction) technique: When we are aware of a thought, worry, temptation, etc, we make a decision to not go there and then immediately distract ourselves away from the thought that is causing the anxiety Be wary in thinking and speaking in absolutes, or “all or none” thinking (29:30) Avoiding thinking in terms of “have to” (versus “want to”) Sets ourselves up for stress and anxiety if the “have to” does not come to pass Listen for that type of thinking and reframe it to something positive that motivates us to act Going overboard with “good things” to the point where they cause stress and/or illness (34:45) Counsel not just for missionaries, but for others as well (including as we serve in leadership roles in the church) Born in Southern Idaho and now living in Hurricane, Utah, Dr. Gary Taylor spent his career of more than 40 years working as a clinical psychologist. Now retired, he and his wife have served two senior missions,
Brother Taylor continues to learn new things in his work with missionaries, emphasizing that as he would work with them he could feel the love and concern that Heavenly Father has for them. He also emphasizes that while the transition from teenager to missionary can be a difficult one, the struggles experienced may not always be mental illness-related, but rather the normal added stress that comes with being a missionary. For some missionaries this can be an unexpected and difficult process to deal with. In this episode, Brother Taylor discusses a number of common mistakes and offers prospective missionaries, parents, and leaders tips and counsel as they prepare for—or assist others in preparing for—effective missionary service.
Episode Highlights

* Many of the tools that are generally recommended to those suffering stress and anxiety (i.e. going for a run, reading a novel, talking to a friend) are not available to missionaries. Other methods must be utilized. (10:00)
* Tips and counsel for leaders meeting with prospective missionaries - become familiar with the 10 common reasons why missionaries struggle (12:00)

* Having unrealistic expectations (13:00)

* Mission service isn’t going to necessarily solve any existing personal problem(s) – in many cases it actually makes them more difficult to solve
* Expecting it to be a non-stop spiritual experience
* With enough faith and effort baptisms will happen (if that is the measure of success, as defined by the missionary)
* Be more prepared for an “Aaron experience” rather than an “Ammon experience”


* Failing to see the big picture – why they’re there and what it's really all about (19:00)

* Bishops and Stake Presidents can help prospective missionaries to set realistic expectations
* Help them be able to answer the questions “When things aren’t working out, how can I stay motivated to do the right thing?” and “What are the reasons to be here when it doesn’t look like anything productive is happening?”


* Worrying about things that are beyond the missionary’s control (23:45)

* Mission related things
* Things happening back home
* Have prospective missionaries inventory their worries (write them down), then take each one and ask, “Is this something I can control?” If not, then decide not to worry about it. If it is, then I need to come up with a plan to do what I can to resolve the worry or concern.

* Sometimes it's unclear if the worry is beyond control or not. Parents and leaders can be a resource to go to to understand if there is something I can do to overcome it.
* ADD (Awareness, Decision, Distraction) technique: When we are aware of a thought, worry, temptation, etc, we make a decision to not go there and then immediately distract ourselves away from the thought that is causing the anxiety




* Be wary in thinking and speaking in absolutes, or “all or none” thinking (29:30)

* Avoiding thinking in terms of “have to” (versus “want to”)

* Sets ourselves up for stress and anxiety if the “have to” does not come to pass
* Listen for that type of thinking and reframe it to something ...]]>
Leading Saints clean 54:27
How This Professional Entertainer Can Help Improve Your Next High Council Talk | An Interview With Jason Hewlett https://leadingsaints.org/how-this-professional-entertainer-can-help-improve-your-next-high-council-talk-an-interview-with-jason-hewlett/ Tue, 04 Apr 2017 13:00:34 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=32061 Jason Hewlett was born in Park City, UT and now lives in Daybreak, UT. He is a former convention performer and now spends his time as a professional keynote speaker for corporate events as well as speaking at youth fireside and mentoring other entertainers. In this episode Jason shares his journey with us from being bullied in priest quorum to having his mission president call him out the second he stepped of the plane to performing in every casino in Las Vegas. Jason share best practices for public speaking that apply to speaking in church or teaching a class. Episode Highlights: 5:33 Childhood/youth 7:00 Getting bullied in priest quorum and why he kept coming back. 10:40 What is your advice to leaders regarding bullying at church? 11:33 Full time missionary service 22:19 When and how did you decide to become an entertainer? 28:00 How did you get involved in mentoring entertainers? 30:27 Tell us about the book you authored. 38:30 How do you prepare to speak at these corporate events? 42:00 Why set a goal when you can make a promise? 47:23 What advice would you give to a leader who has 10 minutes to fill at the end of a meeting? 56:45 How do people contact you for a youth fireside? 58:20 How has being a presenter made you a better disciple of Jesus Christ. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aM4wKKr-eqM Links: Jason Hewlett's Website Jason's Youtube Channel Hank Smith Jason Hewlett was born in Park City, UT and now lives in Daybreak, UT. He is a former convention performer and now spends his time as a professional keynote speaker for corporate events as well as speaking at youth fireside and mentoring other entertai...
In this episode Jason shares his journey with us from being bullied in priest quorum to having his mission president call him out the second he stepped of the plane to performing in every casino in Las Vegas.

Jason share best practices for public speaking that apply to speaking in church or teaching a class.
Episode Highlights:

* 5:33 Childhood/youth
* 7:00 Getting bullied in priest quorum and why he kept coming back.
* 10:40 What is your advice to leaders regarding bullying at church?
* 11:33 Full time missionary service
* 22:19 When and how did you decide to become an entertainer?
* 28:00 How did you get involved in mentoring entertainers?
* 30:27 Tell us about the book you authored.
* 38:30 How do you prepare to speak at these corporate events?
* 42:00 Why set a goal when you can make a promise?
* 47:23 What advice would you give to a leader who has 10 minutes to fill at the end of a meeting?
* 56:45 How do people contact you for a youth fireside?
* 58:20 How has being a presenter made you a better disciple of Jesus Christ.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aM4wKKr-eqM
Links:
Jason Hewlett's Website

Jason's Youtube Channel

Hank Smith]]>
Leading Saints clean 60:35
How I Lead With 20 People in Sacrament Meeting | An Interview With Jeff Schooler https://leadingsaints.org/how-i-lead-with-20-people-in-sacrament-meeting-an-interview-with-jeff-schooler/ Sat, 25 Mar 2017 12:39:25 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=31956 Jeff Schooler is a Branch President of the Lake Region Branch in Devils Lake North Dakota. In this episode he tells about his conversion story and sheds some light on what it’s like to be the president of a small LDS branch with large geographic boundaries. Episode Highlights Jeff tells his conversion/reactivation story 6:00 Expanding on how easy it is to fall into inactivity 9:14 Most famous Mormon Jeff has ever met 10:25 First General Conference talk that comes to mind 11:00 If asked to speak in General Conference, what would the talk topic be? 11:14 What makes Jeff a unique Mormon 11:55 Callings that he has served in 12:28 Which past Branch Presidents do you resemble? 12:23 Story of how he was called to be the Branch President 14:28 Challenges of serving as the Branch President in such a small unit 16:25 LDS Video (Personal Video Conferencing) 17:47 A typical Sunday in the life of a Branch President 19:50 Are you as a leader ever worried about the Branch being dissolved? 24:10 Supporting members who struggle to balance their families needs vs Branch needs. 25:16 Home & visiting teaching solutions with letters, email & video conferencing. 12:26 Loving those you lead 29:30 Follow the Spirit, make a phone call at anytime 30:25 Speaking assignments & 5 minute talk 31:44 Transferring from two blocks to three 32:45 Give the benefit of the doubt, everyone is doing the best that they know how. 34:10 Read, read, read! 36:44 A favorite book: Hearing the Voice of the Lord 37:47 Jeff Schooler is a Branch President of the Lake Region Branch in Devils Lake North Dakota. In this episode he tells about his conversion story and sheds some light on what it’s like to be the president of a small LDS branch with large geographic bounda... Episode Highlights

* Jeff tells his conversion/reactivation story 6:00
* Expanding on how easy it is to fall into inactivity 9:14
* Most famous Mormon Jeff has ever met 10:25
* First General Conference talk that comes to mind 11:00
* If asked to speak in General Conference, what would the talk topic be? 11:14
* What makes Jeff a unique Mormon 11:55
* Callings that he has served in 12:28
* Which past Branch Presidents do you resemble? 12:23
* Story of how he was called to be the Branch President 14:28
* Challenges of serving as the Branch President in such a small unit 16:25
* LDS Video (Personal Video Conferencing) 17:47
* A typical Sunday in the life of a Branch President 19:50
* Are you as a leader ever worried about the Branch being dissolved? 24:10
* Supporting members who struggle to balance their families needs vs Branch needs. 25:16
* Home & visiting teaching solutions with letters, email & video conferencing. 12:26
* Loving those you lead 29:30
* Follow the Spirit, make a phone call at anytime 30:25
* Speaking assignments & 5 minute talk 31:44
* Transferring from two blocks to three 32:45
* Give the benefit of the doubt, everyone is doing the best that they know how. 34:10
* Read, read, read! 36:44
* A favorite book: Hearing the Voice of the Lord 37:47
]]>
Leading Saints clean 43:38
An Open Letter to Bishops From a Wife of a Porn Addict https://leadingsaints.org/open-letter-to-the-bishop-from-wife-of-porn-addict/ Wed, 22 Mar 2017 18:21:01 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=31713 Sara Walker currently lives in Amity, Oregon. She served in the Chicago Illinois North mission, met her husband at BYU-Idaho, and has a been striving to improve her marriage and help her husband overcome his addiction to pornography. Enter Sara... Dear Bishop, Thank you for your service as a bishop in the Church. I believe you were called of God to your calling for such a time as this. We need people who are willing to be on the front lines in the battle for families and individuals against sexual addiction. I am hoping to give you some insight into what women with husbands involved in sexual addiction (SA) need from you as an ecclesiastical leader. I have talked with many women who are dealing with this in their lives, and their stories are varied and poignant. All the women who shared their insight did so knowing that I would be submitting this to you. Out of respect for them and the battles they continue to fight, I won't use names or specific details. The feelings and thoughts expressed in this letter are my own, although not every item listed has been applicable to me and my situation. It is my hope that you will use this letter—as well as the spirit of discernment—when counseling with individuals and couples, as each situation is somewhat unique. There are, however, a number of similarities between them as well. I will be attempting to address those. I feel like it's important to begin this by sharing with you some attitudes and attributes of the addict. Many of those who come to you with SA will be men—although not exclusively. Therefore, I will use the term addict and husband interchangeably. When a man comes to you admitting he has looked at pornography, please consider the following: Most men do not fully confess everything the first time, or the second, or the third… They may say they don’t have an addiction, that it was just a here-and-there problem. They have likely struggled for years, and are only coming to you because they got caught. They have lied to themselves and to their spouse for so long that they believe many of their own lies. They are so programmed to hide everything that it usually takes a “hitting rock bottom” moment before full confession happens, and sometimes not even then. Often there are things like masturbation and infidelity that they are not talking about. As a bishop, please consider asking the difficult questions. Be specific. Ask: Do you masturbate? Have you had virtual relationships or physical relationships? Do you go to strip clubs or porn shops? How often? For how long? Do you use your phone or tablet? Do you call hotlines? And so forth. They do not need to be graphic in the details of what they do, but they do need to be accountable. Many of these men have a distorted sense of time. They will say the last time they looked was a few months/weeks ago. In reality, it was likely sooner and for longer than they would admit. They are most likely in something referred to as “addict brain” or “addict mode.” Unless they have been actively working at recovery, they are in addict brain. It gives them a distorted sense of reality. (For more in-depth discussion of addict brain, see the book, Like Dragons Did They Fight.) Dealing with someone who lives much of their life in addict brain is difficult. When we—the women dealing with this—come to you for help, we often have no one else to turn to. Begin to educate yourself about the nuances of SA. Each of the below items is just a brief overview; this is meant as a starting point and not a comprehensive document. Please consider the following as you seek guidance in counseling us: 1. Do not imply or flat out say that if we would give our spouse more time sexually he wouldn’t have this problem This is probably the number one source of depression, frustration and abandonment women feel from ecclesiastical leaders. This is the quickest way to alienate the wife. Women will immediately throw up a wall when a prie... Sara Walker currently lives in Amity, Oregon. She served in the Chicago Illinois North mission, met her husband at BYU-Idaho, and has a been striving to improve her marriage and help her husband overcome his addiction to pornography. - Enter Sara...
Enter Sara...
Dear Bishop,
Thank you for your service as a bishop in the Church. I believe you were called of God to your calling for such a time as this. We need people who are willing to be on the front lines in the battle for families and individuals against sexual addiction. I am hoping to give you some insight into what women with husbands involved in sexual addiction (SA) need from you as an ecclesiastical leader. I have talked with many women who are dealing with this in their lives, and their stories are varied and poignant. All the women who shared their insight did so knowing that I would be submitting this to you. Out of respect for them and the battles they continue to fight, I won't use names or specific details.

The feelings and thoughts expressed in this letter are my own, although not every item listed has been applicable to me and my situation. It is my hope that you will use this letter—as well as the spirit of discernment—when counseling with individuals and couples, as each situation is somewhat unique. There are, however, a number of similarities between them as well. I will be attempting to address those.

I feel like it's important to begin this by sharing with you some attitudes and attributes of the addict. Many of those who come to you with SA will be men—although not exclusively. Therefore, I will use the term addict and husband interchangeably. When a man comes to you admitting he has looked at pornography, please consider the following:

* Most men do not fully confess everything the first time, or the second, or the third…
* They may say they don’t have an addiction, that it was just a here-and-there problem.
* They have likely struggled for years, and are only coming to you because they got caught.
* They have lied to themselves and to their spouse for so long that they believe many of their own lies.
* They are so programmed to hide everything that it usually takes a “hitting rock bottom” moment before full confession happens, and sometimes not even then.
* Often there are things like masturbation and infidelity that they are not talking about.

As a bishop, please consider asking the difficult questions. Be specific. Ask: Do you masturbate? Have you had virtual relationships or physical relationships? Do you go to strip clubs or porn shops? How often? For how long? Do you use your phone or tablet? Do you call hotlines? And so forth. They do not need to be graphic in the details of what they do, but they do need to be accountable. Many of these men have a distorted sense of time. They will say the last time they looked was a few months/weeks ago. In reality, it was likely sooner and for longer than they would admit. They are most likely in something referred to as “addict brain” or “addict mode.” Unless they have been actively working at recovery, they are in addict brain. It gives them a distorted sense of reality. (For more in-depth discussion of addict brain, see the book, Like Dragons Did They Fight.)

Dealing with someone who lives much of their life in addict brain is difficult. When we—the women dealing with this—come to you for help, we often have no one else to turn to. Begin to educate yourself about the nuances of SA. Each of the below items is just a brief overview; this is meant as a starting point and not a comprehensive document. Please consider the following as you seek guidance in counseling us:
1. Do not imply or flat out say that if we would give our spouse more time sexually he wouldn’t have this problem
]]>
Leading Saints clean 71:22
How LaVell Edwards Influenced His Team to be a Team of Leaders | An Interview With Paul Gustavson https://leadingsaints.org/how-lavell-edwards-influenced-his-team-to-be-a-team-of-leaders-an-interview-with-paul-gustavson/ Thu, 16 Mar 2017 14:50:24 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=31857 Paul Gustavson studied Organizational Behavior at Brigham Young University, where he was on Coach Lavell Edwards’ first football team at the school. Today he is president of the consulting firm Organization Planning and Design. He has authored two books about team building and leadership—including one with Coach Bronco Mendenhall: Running into the Wind: 5 Strategies for Building a Successful Team, and A Team of Leaders: Empowering Every Member to Take Ownership, Demonstrate Initiative, and Deliver Results. After the passing of Coach Edwards last year, Paul wrote an article for the Deseret News, “Three Key Leadership Qualities Lavell Edwards Exhibited Early On as Head Coach That Could Benefit Any Leader.” He has also served as a bishop of a young single adult ward. Episode Highlights 5:00 His history playing football, serving a mission, and attending/working with BYU 8:36 How the article about Coach Edwards came about 9:29 Interviewed Coach Edwards about things he had witnessed as a player 10:00 Being a bishop had an enormous influence on Coach Edwards and his coaching 12:34 He was always clear about the strategy 13:45 He was a principle-based coach 15:23 Coach Bronco Mendenhall was humble and willing to learn the principles of team-building 17:00 Referred him to the article, “What is Strategy?” by Michael Porter, HBR 19:06 Choosing “team members” inside a ward 22:00 Why/how Paul got involved in team building in college 23:50 Five smooth stones: strategy, processes, design, knowledge, capturing hearts and minds 26:39 Application of these principles as a bishop 28:26 Managing by councils: Five stages 31:35 Having a framework helps 33:20 Excellence comes through performance models and repeating best practices 36:40 Steps to reach stage five in ward leadership 37:52 How it happened with home/visiting teaching 41:50 Shared stories of how they were blessed or blessed others as home/visiting teachers 43:18 Ward theme: “We care for and bless one another”; D&C 82:10 44:30 What leaders talk about is what people do 46:14 Where his books and research are available 47:38 Discipleship and team leadership: engaging people to take action and become more Christlike Links: Organization Planning and Design A Team of Leaders Website Running into the Wind: 5 Strategies for Building a Successful Team A Team of Leaders: Empowering Every Member to Take Ownership, Demonstrate Initiative, and Deliver Results “Three Key Leadership Qualities Lavell Edwards Exhibited Early On as Head Coach That Could Benefit Any Leader,” Deseret News “What is Strategy?” by Michael Porter, Harvard Business Review Paul Gustavson studied Organizational Behavior at Brigham Young University, where he was on Coach Lavell Edwards’ first football team at the school. Today he is president of the consulting firm Organization Planning and Design. Organization Planning and Design. He has authored two books about team building and leadership—including one with Coach Bronco Mendenhall: Running into the Wind: 5 Strategies for Building a Successful Team, and A Team of Leaders: Empowering Every Member to Take Ownership, Demonstrate Initiative, and Deliver Results. After the passing of Coach Edwards last year, Paul wrote an article for the Deseret News, “Three Key Leadership Qualities Lavell Edwards Exhibited Early On as Head Coach That Could Benefit Any Leader.” He has also served as a bishop of a young single adult ward.
Episode Highlights

* 5:00 His history playing football, serving a mission, and attending/working with BYU
* 8:36 How the article about Coach Edwards came about
* 9:29 Interviewed Coach Edwards about things he had witnessed as a player
* 10:00 Being a bishop had an enormous influence on Coach Edwards and his coaching
* 12:34 He was always clear about the strategy
* 13:45 He was a principle-based coach
* 15:23 Coach Bronco Mendenhall was humble and willing to learn the principles of team-building
* 17:00 Referred him to the article, “What is Strategy?” by Michael Porter, HBR
* 19:06 Choosing “team members” inside a ward
* 22:00 Why/how Paul got involved in team building in college
* 23:50 Five smooth stones: strategy, processes, design, knowledge, capturing hearts and minds
* 26:39 Application of these principles as a bishop
* 28:26 Managing by councils: Five stages
* 31:35 Having a framework helps
* 33:20 Excellence comes through performance models and repeating best practices
* 36:40 Steps to reach stage five in ward leadership
* 37:52 How it happened with home/visiting teaching
* 41:50 Shared stories of how they were blessed or blessed others as home/visiting teachers
* 43:18 Ward theme: “We care for and bless one another”; D&C 82:10
* 44:30 What leaders talk about is what people do
* 46:14 Where his books and research are available
* 47:38 Discipleship and team leadership: engaging people to take action and become more Christlike

Links:
Organization Planning and Design

A Team of Leaders Website

Running into the Wind: 5 Strategies for Building a Successful Team

A Team of Leaders: Empowering Every Member to Take Ownership, Demonstrate Initiative, and Deliver Results

“Three Key Leadership Qualities Lavell Edwards Exhibited Early On as Head Coach That Could Benefit Any Leader,” Deseret News

“What is Strategy?” by Michael Porter, Harvard Business Review]]>
Leading Saints clean 51:32
Being Myself While Being Bishop | How I Lead: GR Gordon-Ross https://leadingsaints.org/being-myself-while-being-bishop-how-i-lead-gr-gordon-ross/ Sat, 11 Mar 2017 19:23:11 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=31791 GR Gordon-Ross served as bishop for 6 years in Lawrence, Kansas. He was raised in Kearney, Missouri and was converted to the Church in 1994 because of his influence from a childhood friend. He served a mission in Russia and later married his wife whom he met at LDS Institute. He is self-described as a non-orthodox bishop which he credits to much of his success. Leadership Principles The Power of Delegation (32:13) Allow those you call to exercise their own leadership talents How to help auxillairy leaders to exercise autonomy in their callings (34:23) Setting Expectations (37:33) Leadership requires personal sacrifice (39:40) You cannot come together as a cohesive unit if there is a belief or view that one person does all the work Willingness to Serve (42:00) Arrive early and be willing to stay late to clean up after every church activity Be a leader and not a calling (45:30) Listen (45:53) Make sure that all opinions in a council setting are heard and valued Be Yourself and Don’t Be Afraid to Adapt to Local Needs (49:10) Be yourself, be human, don’t be afraid to make mistakes Links: Making Right Choices, by Elder Richard G. Scott GR Gordon-Ross served as bishop for 6 years in Lawrence, Kansas. He was raised in Kearney, Missouri and was converted to the Church in 1994 because of his influence from a childhood friend. He served a mission in Russia and later married his wife whom ... Leadership Principles

* The Power of Delegation (32:13)

* Allow those you call to exercise their own leadership talents
* How to help auxillairy leaders to exercise autonomy in their callings (34:23)


* Setting Expectations (37:33)

* Leadership requires personal sacrifice (39:40)
* You cannot come together as a cohesive unit if there is a belief or view that one person does all the work


* Willingness to Serve (42:00)

* Arrive early and be willing to stay late to clean up after every church activity
* Be a leader and not a calling (45:30)


* Listen (45:53)

* Make sure that all opinions in a council setting are heard and valued


* Be Yourself and Don’t Be Afraid to Adapt to Local Needs (49:10)

* Be yourself, be human, don’t be afraid to make mistakes



Links:
Making Right Choices, by Elder Richard G. Scott]]>
Leading Saints clean 61:14
Friends of Scouting Best Practices | An Interview With Mark Francis of LDS-BSA https://leadingsaints.org/friends-of-scouting-best-practices-an-interview-with-mark-francis-of-lds-bsa/ Tue, 07 Mar 2017 14:00:18 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=31708 Mark Francis is the Director of LDS BSA Relationships, where he has worked for the past 5 years. He also serves on the High Council in his stake, where he is responsible for working with the Young Men and assists in all things Scouting. Mark was previously interviewed on Leading Saints in January, 2015. Mark’s position with the Boy Scouts of America has its roots in President David O. McKay’s request to the BSA that an employee be based in Salt Lake City and work with the Church. Episode Summary & Highlights: How is Scouting the activity arm of the Priesthood? Why do we do varsity and venturing? (10:32) “Activity arm of the Priesthood” is no longer in any handbook There are other activities, not just Scouting Varsity (Teachers Quorum) and Venturing (Priests Quorum) allow the boys to take over as the leaders Five Fields of Emphasis High Adventure/Sports Service Personal Development Advancement Special Programs & Events Varsity & Venturing is where shadow leadership really comes to life Funding channels (19:10) These are sacred funds and we need to be wise stewards. Handbook 2 directs funding for activities (8.13.7) as follows: From ward budget If ward budget insufficient, we can ask particpants to pay for part or all Fundraising Much too often we start with fundraising Scouting Handbook Is Committee Chair a separate calling from Primary President? (22:10) See Scouting Handbook section 4.3 Tips for maintaining continuity of records with consistent changes in leadership (24:50) See Scouting Handbook sections 3.1, 4.1 and 4.3 Who are members of the committees? Fathers and mothers - he recommends at least one parent of each scout be on the committee Those of other faiths A member of the bishopric See Scouting Handbook section 4.3 If you have a functioning committee that is aware of what the boys want to do, the parents know since they are members of the committee. Managing advancements, service projects, campouts, etc.? (30:00) ScoutBook Commissioner Tools Available via the my.Scouting portal. Online applications are coming! Friends of Scouting (35:50) When: each council choosing when to do it (the majority of councils in the U.S. do this during the springtime) Goals (36:43) are established through LDS-BSA Relationships Committee working with the Council Many Councils now changing approach to invite all households to participate How: Take it to the Ward Council and discuss Funds raised stay within the local Council Council Executive Board determine how to distribute funds--salaries, camps, training, etc. If you feel frustrated, speak with your priesthood leader (51:30) Mark related that President Owen, Young Men General President, has identified the following three priorities: We need to be with the boys Connect the boys to heaven Let the boys lead Links: Aaronic Priesthood LDS-BSA Relationships Scouting Handbook ScoutBook Commissioner Tools Mark Francis is the Director of LDS BSA Relationships, where he has worked for the past 5 years. He also serves on the High Council in his stake, where he is responsible for working with the Young Men and assists in all things Scouting. LDS BSA Relationships, where he has worked for the past 5 years. He also serves on the High Council in his stake, where he is responsible for working with the Young Men and assists in all things Scouting. Mark was previously interviewed on Leading Saints in January, 2015. Mark’s position with the Boy Scouts of America has its roots in President David O. McKay’s request to the BSA that an employee be based in Salt Lake City and work with the Church.
Episode Summary & Highlights:
How is Scouting the activity arm of the Priesthood? Why do we do varsity and venturing? (10:32)

“Activity arm of the Priesthood” is no longer in any handbook


There are other activities, not just Scouting
Varsity (Teachers Quorum) and Venturing (Priests Quorum) allow the boys to take over as the leaders
Five Fields of Emphasis

High Adventure/Sports
Service
Personal Development
Advancement
Special Programs & Events


Varsity & Venturing is where shadow leadership really comes to life

Funding channels (19:10)

These are sacred funds and we need to be wise stewards.
Handbook 2 directs funding for activities (8.13.7) as follows:

From ward budget
If ward budget insufficient, we can ask particpants to pay for part or all
Fundraising




Much too often we start with fundraising


Scouting Handbook

Is Committee Chair a separate calling from Primary President? (22:10)

See Scouting Handbook section 4.3

Tips for maintaining continuity of records with consistent changes in leadership (24:50)

See Scouting Handbook sections 3.1, 4.1 and 4.3
Who are members of the committees?

Fathers and mothers - he recommends at least one parent of each scout be on the committee
Those of other faiths
A member of the bishopric


See Scouting Handbook section 4.3



If you have a functioning committee that is aware of what the boys want to do, the parents know since they are members of the committee.
Managing advancements, service projects, campouts, etc.? (30:00)

ScoutBook
Commissioner Tools

Available via the my.Scouting portal.


Online applications are coming!

Friends of Scouting (35:50)

When: each council choosing when to do it (the majority of councils in the U.S. do this during the springtime)
Goals (36:43) are established through LDS-BSA Relationships Committee working with the Council

Many Councils now changing approach to invite all households to participate


How: Take it to the Ward Council and discuss


Funds raised stay within the local Council


Council Executive Board determine how to distribute funds--salaries, camps, training, etc.

If you feel frustrated, speak with your priesthood leader (51:30)

Mark related that President Owen, Young Men General President,]]>
Leading Saints clean 55:05
How I Lead as Mission President | An Interview with W. Durrell Nielsen https://leadingsaints.org/how-i-lead-as-mission-president-an-interview-with-w-durrell-nielsen/ Sat, 04 Mar 2017 14:00:24 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=31620 W. Durrell Nielsen served as a mission president of the Oklahoma Tulsa mission from 2003-2006.  He was born and raised in Brigham City Utah and currently resides in Bountiful Utah. As a young man he served a mission in Scotland and attended the University of Arizona where he received a Law degree.  He practiced law for the United States Treasury Department, for his own private law practice and also as estate planning lawyer.  He met his wife while attending college and has 5 kids and 12 grandchildren.  In this episode he shares his experiences as a mission president and ways to help guide and teach others as a leader. Episode Highlights 11:00 Experience being called as a bishop 13:20 Experience being called a mission president 14:45 Appointment with President Boyd K. Packer 17:45 Appointment with President James E. Faust 19:30 Mission call as president to Oklahoma Tulsa mission 21:00 Surprises as a newly called mission president 27:00 Unwritten Order of Things- talk by President Boyd K. Packer 27:30 Teaching zone and district leaders- teaching how to time talk 35:00 Follow the brethren- for example do they comment on talks at the end of General Conference? 36:00 Correct principles and governing self 40:30 Being a great shepherd- attending to the one 41:00 The key to attending to the one as a mission president 42:00 Demonstrating love is so important as a shepherd- know their names 47:30 Teaching the Doctrine 51:15 How to connect with former missionaries Links: Beware of Pride, by Ezra Taft Benson The Unwritten Order of Things, by Boyd K. Packer How to Remember Names W. Durrell Nielsen served as a mission president of the Oklahoma Tulsa mission from 2003-2006.  He was born and raised in Brigham City Utah and currently resides in Bountiful Utah. As a young man he served a mission in Scotland and attended the Univers... Episode Highlights
11:00 Experience being called as a bishop
13:20 Experience being called a mission president
14:45 Appointment with President Boyd K. Packer
17:45 Appointment with President James E. Faust
19:30 Mission call as president to Oklahoma Tulsa mission
21:00 Surprises as a newly called mission president
27:00 Unwritten Order of Things- talk by President Boyd K. Packer
27:30 Teaching zone and district leaders- teaching how to time talk
35:00 Follow the brethren- for example do they comment on talks at the end of General Conference?
36:00 Correct principles and governing self
40:30 Being a great shepherd- attending to the one
41:00 The key to attending to the one as a mission president
42:00 Demonstrating love is so important as a shepherd- know their names
47:30 Teaching the Doctrine


51:15 How to connect with former missionaries
Links:
Beware of Pride, by Ezra Taft Benson

The Unwritten Order of Things, by Boyd K. Packer

How to Remember Names

]]>
Leading Saints clean 57:30
The Transformational Power of the Addiction Recovery Program | An Interview Scott Koenig https://leadingsaints.org/the-transformational-power-of-the-addiction-recovery-program-an-interview-scott-koenig/ Tue, 28 Feb 2017 16:32:50 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=31610 Scott Koenig of Arlington, TX was recently released as bishop after serving for over five years. He has a love and a testimony of the addiction recovery program. Upon his release he asked his stake president what he could do to help spread its inspired and healing message. Listen in as Scott tells us about his experiences with the addiction recovery program as a bishop and now as the co-chair of the program and his stake. (2:20) Getting to know Scott (4:15) What lessons did you learn while serving as a bishop? (6:00) Getting involved with the addiction recovery program. (7:49) Kurt tells us about his first day as serving as a bishop. (8:24) What was your understanding of the addiction recovery program when you were first called as a Bishop? (10:25) Was pornography addiction the most common addiction you encountered as a bishop? (12:05) Inviting Ward Council members to help the bishop counsel addicts. (15:34) The keys to success with the addiction recovery program. (21:28) How does your stake structure it's addiction recovery program? (24:45) Implementing a successful youth addiction recovery program. (26:40) Kurt's first experience attending an ARP class. (28:13) Scott meets with and introduces the Bishops of his stake to the ARP. (30:50) Scott shares a sacred experience… The importance of family and spousal support. (39:57) How did serving as a bishop transform you? Links: LDS Addiction Recovery Program Scott Koenig of Arlington, TX was recently released as bishop after serving for over five years. He has a love and a testimony of the addiction recovery program. Upon his release he asked his stake president what he could do to help spread its inspired...

(2:20) Getting to know Scott
(4:15) What lessons did you learn while serving as a bishop?
(6:00) Getting involved with the addiction recovery program.
(7:49) Kurt tells us about his first day as serving as a bishop.
(8:24) What was your understanding of the addiction recovery program when you were first called as a Bishop?
(10:25) Was pornography addiction the most common addiction you encountered as a bishop?
(12:05) Inviting Ward Council members to help the bishop counsel addicts.
(15:34) The keys to success with the addiction recovery program.
(21:28) How does your stake structure it's addiction recovery program?
(24:45) Implementing a successful youth addiction recovery program.
(26:40) Kurt's first experience attending an ARP class.
(28:13) Scott meets with and introduces the Bishops of his stake to the ARP.
(30:50) Scott shares a sacred experience… The importance of family and spousal support.
(39:57) How did serving as a bishop transform you?

Links:
LDS Addiction Recovery Program]]>
Leading Saints clean 44:18
Reconciling My Faith and Same-Gender Attraction While I Lead https://leadingsaints.org/reconciling-my-same-gender-attraction-while-i-lead/ Tue, 21 Feb 2017 14:30:26 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=31568 Ryan lives in Wilsonville, Oregon, and is a graphic designer/art director, designing big-screen graphics and animations for conferences and events. He and his wife moved to Oregon twelve years ago from the San Francisco Bay area, where he grew up. He served in the Rochester, New York mission and has since served as a ward mission leader, Elder's Quorum president, ward executive secretary, and most recently on his stake high council. Ryan is also involved with North Star, a resource for Latter-day Saints addressing sexual orientation and gender identity. In this podcast interview, he speaks about experiencing same-gender attraction and opening up to his wife and stake president. Episode Highlights: What is North Star? (4:58) Identifies as a man who experiences same-sex attraction, but never spoke about it until a year ago (7:00) How he experienced growing up in the church (7:35) Prayed for years to have this changed in him (10:46) The single biggest challenge of his life, and tried to manage it entirely alone (12:20) The church has made great strides in clarifying doctrine and there are new resources for those experiencing same-sex attraction (16:17) Experiences as a young adult and decision to serve a mission (18:00) Sank into intense depression (19:30) How he met and married his wife (20:15) His experiences with marriage, family, and in church service (23:10) Found article in LDS Living magazine and began to consider discussing it (24:20) Spoke with his Stake President and his wife (28:08) His realization that it didn’t change anything with his church membership and calling (33:03) Resources available for LDS leaders (38:37) Experiences sharing his story with others (40:38) Story of same-sex couple who divorced to return to membership in/join the church (41:18) Change from environment where he didn’t talk about it, to where he can (44:40) These conversations are about individuals and not social/political dialogues (46:24) Found the book Voices of Hope, and North Star (48:40) Wendy Ulrich essay was especially helpful (49:56) What’s coming at the North Star Conference, March 17-18, 2017 (51:30) How he has developed a greater sense of love and compassion as a leader (56:47) Links: mormonandgay.lds.org ldsvoicesofhope.org northstarlds.org conference.northstarlds.org Voices of Hope The God Who Weeps The Crucible of Doubt 2017 North Star Church Leader Handout Episode Transcription Kurt Francom (LS): Today we are headed up north to Oregon, to Wilsonville, Oregon to talk with Ryan. How are you, Ryan? Ryan: I'm doing well, how are you, Kurt? LS: Good, now we had met in a different life. I have a friend that runs an audio/visual company and sometimes recruits me to help him in different events, and you were on an event. We were in Vegas doing a show backstage and we found out we shared the same religion and then we met up again later on as we discovered we had a connection through our association with North Star and that is what lead to this conversation. Let's get to know you a little bit. When people ask you what is it you do how do you describe that? Ryan: Well I wish I had a quick easy answer for that but basically I'm a graphic designer/ art director and for the past 23 years I've been working in the corporate events and broadcast television industries. A lot of what I do is companies hire me to work on their big meetings, and when I say big I talking about 5,000 - 10,000 people in attendance and I create all the visuals that go up on these big screens that are about sometimes 300 feet wide by 20 feet tall. I have to design the graphics and the animations and from a technical stand point I have to figure out how to play back those visuals. So that in a nutshell is what I do. LS: And so when people go to a corporate conference or an event or a summit and they see these beautiful graphics flash on the screen, Ryan lives in Wilsonville, Oregon, and is a graphic designer/art director, designing big-screen graphics and animations for conferences and events. He and his wife moved to Oregon twelve years ago from the San Francisco Bay area, where he grew up. Episode Highlights:

* What is North Star? (4:58)
* Identifies as a man who experiences same-sex attraction, but never spoke about it until a year ago (7:00)
* How he experienced growing up in the church (7:35)
* Prayed for years to have this changed in him (10:46)
* The single biggest challenge of his life, and tried to manage it entirely alone (12:20)
* The church has made great strides in clarifying doctrine and there are new resources for those experiencing same-sex attraction (16:17)
* Experiences as a young adult and decision to serve a mission (18:00)
* Sank into intense depression (19:30)
* How he met and married his wife (20:15)
* His experiences with marriage, family, and in church service (23:10)
* Found article in LDS Living magazine and began to consider discussing it (24:20)
* Spoke with his Stake President and his wife (28:08)
* His realization that it didn’t change anything with his church membership and calling (33:03)
* Resources available for LDS leaders (38:37)
* Experiences sharing his story with others (40:38)
* Story of same-sex couple who divorced to return to membership in/join the church (41:18)
* Change from environment where he didn’t talk about it, to where he can (44:40)
* These conversations are about individuals and not social/political dialogues (46:24)
* Found the book Voices of Hope, and North Star (48:40)
* Wendy Ulrich essay was especially helpful (49:56)
* What’s coming at the North Star Conference, March 17-18, 2017 (51:30)
* How he has developed a greater sense of love and compassion as a leader (56:47)

Links:
mormonandgay.lds.org
ldsvoicesofhope.org
northstarlds.org
conference.northstarlds.org
Voices of Hope
The God Who Weeps
The Crucible of Doubt

2017 North Star Church Leader Handout
Episode Transcription
Kurt Francom (LS): Today we are headed up north to Oregon, to Wilsonville, Oregon to talk with Ryan. How are you, Ryan?

Ryan: I'm doing well, how are you, Kurt?

LS: Good, now we had met in a different life. I have a friend that runs an audio/visual company and sometimes recruits me to help him in different events, and you were on an event. We were in Vegas doing a show backstage and we found out we shared the same religion and then we met up again later on as we discovered we had a connection through our association with North Star and that is what lead to this conversation.]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:01:38
Creating Unity in Elders Quorum | How I Lead: Toby Eborn https://leadingsaints.org/creating-unity-in-elders-quorum-how-i-lead-toby-eborn/ Sat, 18 Feb 2017 14:00:30 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=31551 Toby Eborn was called as an Elder’s Quorum President in July 2016 in his Midvale, Utah-area ward. He was born and raised in Montpelier, Idaho, and was called to serve in the Minnesota Minneapolis Mission. Upon his return, he attended Utah State University for a time as well as culinary school before heading east and meeting his future-wife while living in Ohio. He has served as a primary and Sunday school teacher, a counselor in the Young Men’s presidency, ward executive secretary, co-ward mission leader, and most recently as a counselor in the Elders Quorum presidency. His approach as an Elders Quorum President is centered on helping people to get to know one another better (32:00). He looks for ways to get people together in a fun and relaxing atmosphere and has seen success in his quorum growing in their relationships with one another through these activities (46:00). In this podcast, he discusses five principles of leadership that he follows in his callings, as well as his approach to home teaching and quorum lessons. Principles of Leadership: 1. Love (35:00) It is easier to do things for people you love. By cultivating that type of brotherhood in the quorum, brethren understand that they are not alone in their struggles. President Eborn tries to have personal contact with each member of his quorum prior to the quorum meeting in the third hour block by greeting them with a handshake as they arrive for sacrament meeting. 2. Stewardship (37:30) Everyone has a stewardship, even if it is in our own family or even our own life. We can’t neglect the responsibility we’ve taken upon ourselves as priesthood holders to be the Savior’s representatives. We must make ourselves available to our stewardship and build that relationship with them. If we are good stewards it strengthens our priesthood power. 3. Faith (38:45) Are we remembering to encourage those experiencing a crisis of faith to do the “primary answers” – studying the scriptures daily, regular personal and family prayer, attending church – as a means of watering and nourishing the seed of testimony? Are we constantly working on our own faith? If we are, and we are conscious of the struggles of those in our stewardship, we are more equipped to assist them. 4. Accountability (40:55) We have agreed to and accepted callings to serve our stewardship and have made covenants to serve and follow through. Work to change our mindset from “it’s easier to not do the right thing” to “I really need to hold myself accountable to what I’ve committed to do.” 5. Discipline (42:15) How many days in a week are we “on the plan?” individually and as a family? Failure to be consistent in doing these things leads to lasting results and consequences. Turning Lessons into conversations (51:00) Improved quorum meeting attendance and participation has been a direct correlation to the brethren becoming friends and getting to know each other better. Approach to Home Teaching (52:00) Did not intend to talk about home teaching every week, but finds himself doing so. Avoids taking the “hey everyone, it’s the last week of the month, everybody get out and do your home teaching…” approach and then not saying anything for another month. Doesn’t talk about it because of a concern for numbers, but because he knows there are individuals and families in his quorum that need to be home taught. Focuses on the individual and helping the brethren to understand that people have struggles and need to be home taught – and that the home teachers can provide that strength. Just because someone is at church every week doesn’t mean they aren’t struggling. We don’t know and can’t help until we get to know each other and are able to open up safely to one another. Returning and reporting is important but ultimately President Eborn just wants them to be aware of how their home teaching families (their stewardship) are doing. Toby Eborn was called as an Elder’s Quorum President in July 2016 in his Midvale, Utah-area ward. He was born and raised in Montpelier, Idaho, and was called to serve in the Minnesota Minneapolis Mission. Upon his return,
His approach as an Elders Quorum President is centered on helping people to get to know one another better (32:00). He looks for ways to get people together in a fun and relaxing atmosphere and has seen success in his quorum growing in their relationships with one another through these activities (46:00).

In this podcast, he discusses five principles of leadership that he follows in his callings, as well as his approach to home teaching and quorum lessons.
Principles of Leadership:
1. Love (35:00)

* It is easier to do things for people you love. By cultivating that type of brotherhood in the quorum, brethren understand that they are not alone in their struggles.
* President Eborn tries to have personal contact with each member of his quorum prior to the quorum meeting in the third hour block by greeting them with a handshake as they arrive for sacrament meeting.

2. Stewardship (37:30)

* Everyone has a stewardship, even if it is in our own family or even our own life. We can’t neglect the responsibility we’ve taken upon ourselves as priesthood holders to be the Savior’s representatives.
* We must make ourselves available to our stewardship and build that relationship with them.
* If we are good stewards it strengthens our priesthood power.

3. Faith (38:45)

* Are we remembering to encourage those experiencing a crisis of faith to do the “primary answers” – studying the scriptures daily, regular personal and family prayer, attending church – as a means of watering and nourishing the seed of testimony?
* Are we constantly working on our own faith? If we are, and we are conscious of the struggles of those in our stewardship, we are more equipped to assist them.

4. Accountability (40:55)

* We have agreed to and accepted callings to serve our stewardship and have made covenants to serve and follow through.
* Work to change our mindset from “it’s easier to not do the right thing” to “I really need to hold myself accountable to what I’ve committed to do.”

5. Discipline (42:15)

* How many days in a week are we “on the plan?” individually and as a family?
* Failure to be consistent in doing these things leads to lasting results and consequences.

Turning Lessons into conversations (51:00)

* Improved quorum meeting attendance and participation has been a direct correlation to the brethren becoming friends and getting to know each other better.

Approach to Home Teaching (52:00)

* Did not intend to talk about home teaching every week, but finds himself doing so.
* Avoids taking the “hey everyone, it’s the last week of the month, everybody get out and do your home teaching…” approach and then not saying anything for another month.
* Doesn’t talk about it because of a concern for numbers, but because he knows there are individuals and families in his quorum that need to be home taught.
* Focuses on the individual and helping the brethren to understand that people have struggles and need to be home taught – and that the home teachers can provide that strength.
* Just because someone is at church every week doesn’t mean they aren’t struggli...]]>
Leading Saints clean 60:49
Understanding the Conversion of Muslims to Christianity | Interview with Duane Miller https://leadingsaints.org/understanding-the-conversion-of-muslims-to-christianity-interview-with-duane-miller/ Wed, 15 Feb 2017 15:47:52 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=31505 Duane Miller is an Anglican Christian and the author of Living Among the Breakage: Contextual Theology-Making and Ex-Muslim Christians, which covers a few reasons why Muslims are being converted to Christianity. He has a B.A. in Philosophy, an M.A. in Theology, a diploma in Arabic, and a Ph.D. in Divinity.  During the interview, Kurt talks to Duane about how, as Christians, we can reach out to Muslims in love. Episode Highlights: The reason for candles in the Catholic Church (6:21) Duane explains how he became interested in understanding the conversion of Muslims to Christianity (7:45) Social media stories about Muslims converting: #ExMuslim (9:15) How many Muslims are converting? Global Census of Believers from a Muslim background (10:16) Religious conversion is both a turning away from something old and turning to something new (11:28) One reason why Muslims are attracted to Christianity is because of the non-violent example of the Savior (13:00) Are people leaving Islam and then becoming agnostic? (14:36) Muslims believe in Jesus, as a prophet (16:00) Do Muslims convert in order to seek asylum? (18:10) Are Muslims converted because people reach out to them or because they reach out? (19:24) Quest for truth (20:22) Sharing the gospel through interpersonal relationships (22:40) Getting to know your Muslim friends and co-workers (24:17) How did the research change you as a person? (25:52) The best way to reach out to a Muslim? (30:15) The Quran is not like the Bible (31:50) Duane helped Nazareth Evangelical Theological Seminary (35:06) Links: Global Census of Believers from a Muslim background LDS church provides place for displaced Muslim community to pray Living among the Breakage: Contextual Theology-Making and Ex-Muslim Christians Duane Miller's Blog Duane Miller is an Anglican Christian and the author of Living Among the Breakage: Contextual Theology-Making and Ex-Muslim Christians, which covers a few reasons why Muslims are being converted to Christianity. He has a B.A. in Philosophy, an M.A. Episode Highlights:

* The reason for candles in the Catholic Church (6:21)
* Duane explains how he became interested in understanding the conversion of Muslims to Christianity (7:45)
* Social media stories about Muslims converting: #ExMuslim (9:15)
* How many Muslims are converting? Global Census of Believers from a Muslim background (10:16)
* Religious conversion is both a turning away from something old and turning to something new (11:28)
* One reason why Muslims are attracted to Christianity is because of the non-violent example of the Savior (13:00)
* Are people leaving Islam and then becoming agnostic? (14:36)
* Muslims believe in Jesus, as a prophet (16:00)
* Do Muslims convert in order to seek asylum? (18:10)
* Are Muslims converted because people reach out to them or because they reach out? (19:24)
* Quest for truth (20:22)
* Sharing the gospel through interpersonal relationships (22:40)
* Getting to know your Muslim friends and co-workers (24:17)
* How did the research change you as a person? (25:52)
* The best way to reach out to a Muslim? (30:15)
* The Quran is not like the Bible (31:50)
* Duane helped Nazareth Evangelical Theological Seminary (35:06)

Links:

* Global Census of Believers from a Muslim background
*
LDS church provides place for displaced Muslim community to pray

*
Living among the Breakage: Contextual Theology-Making and Ex-Muslim Christians

* Duane Miller's Blog
]]>
Leading Saints clean 39:52
Be Moved With Compassion | How I Lead Relief Society | Sister Jenn Mabie https://leadingsaints.org/be-moved-with-compassion-how-i-lead-relief-society-sister-jenn-mabie/ Sat, 11 Feb 2017 15:49:30 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=31468 Jenn Mabie lives in Moseley, Virginia. She is a full time mom of four children, an aspiring photographer, and served in her ward as a Relief Society President. Jenn grew up in Virginia and later attended the LDS Business College. She met her husband at a singles ward in Virginia and they were sealed in the Washington, D.C. Temple. Episode Highlights: Tools you use as a presidency (15:06) Be moved with Compassion (17:48) Work as a team in your presidency (20:34) By small and simple things great things come to pass (21:31) How did you plan Enrichment Activities? (24:45) What are your thoughts about visiting teaching? (25:20) What preparation did you do prior to being sustained? (8:07) Jenn was called into the Relief Society presidency first, then extended the call a little while later as the president. Jenn said that lots of prayer and learning about compassion helped prepare her for serving as Relief Society president. What's your ward like? (10:40) Mostly married families, but a large growing ward with a mix of single women. Worked closely with the primary and young women presidents, with council prior to ward council and going to visit women and families within the ward. Planned with the young women president to help get the moms and daughters to the temple together. How did meeting with the other auxiliary presidents come about? (13:00) They wanted to help the Laurels transition to Relief Society, and coordinated lessons to help the YW feel more comfortable. Worked with graduating Laurels and new Beehives to help the transition. Tools you use as a presidency (15:06) Printed out from My Computer is My Canvas. Planners cover topics and keeps you organized as a presidency. Kept in touch by email to make sure all thoughts were in the covered from each presidency member. Be moved with compassion (17:48) Followed the example of her bishop, a proactive leader who “wanted to know before their house burnt down” to help families before a crisis came. Communication is key for helping those who need extra attention within the ward, work with the bishop to plan visits for the week. Work as a team in your presidency (20:34) Get to know each other’s strengths and talents to support each other. Corinthians scripture about being one body. They held presidency meetings every other week and would return and report. By small and simple things great things come to pass (21:31) The presidency had small check-ins with the sisters about visiting teaching, very quick talks to see how it was working for companionships. The president also emailed sisters to get responses about how visiting teaching was going and how companionships were doing. Small changes helped with planning for larger changes in the future. As a Relief Society president she would visit ward sisters with the Young Women or Primary president depending on the situation. How did you plan Enrichment Activities? (24:45) Small activity groups such as play group, beach group, craft groups to reach out to sisters with various interests. These helped create unity as sisters found they had common interests. What are your thoughts about visiting teaching? (25:20) Each presidency member took stewardship over their district to make sure that women were getting visited. Instead of printing the assignments from the computer, she would include the information of the sisters that were the visiting teachers. How has serving as Relief Society president made you a better disciple of Christ? (29:37) Learned to love on a deeper level, receiving promptings for service helps you understand the love of the Savior for each person. Links: My Computer is My Canvas Help Them Aim High, by President Henry B. Eyring Jenn Mabie Photography   Jenn Mabie lives in Moseley, Virginia. She is a full time mom of four children, an aspiring photographer, and served in her ward as a Relief Society President. Jenn grew up in Virginia and later attended the LDS Business College. Episode Highlights:

* Tools you use as a presidency (15:06)
* Be moved with Compassion (17:48)
* Work as a team in your presidency (20:34)
* By small and simple things great things come to pass (21:31)
* How did you plan Enrichment Activities? (24:45)
* What are your thoughts about visiting teaching? (25:20)

What preparation did you do prior to being sustained? (8:07)

* Jenn was called into the Relief Society presidency first, then extended the call a little while later as the president. Jenn said that lots of prayer and learning about compassion helped prepare her for serving as Relief Society president.

What's your ward like? (10:40)

* Mostly married families, but a large growing ward with a mix of single women. Worked closely with the primary and young women presidents, with council prior to ward council and going to visit women and families within the ward. Planned with the young women president to help get the moms and daughters to the temple together.

How did meeting with the other auxiliary presidents come about? (13:00)

* They wanted to help the Laurels transition to Relief Society, and coordinated lessons to help the YW feel more comfortable. Worked with graduating Laurels and new Beehives to help the transition.

Tools you use as a presidency (15:06)

* Printed out from My Computer is My Canvas. Planners cover topics and keeps you organized as a presidency. Kept in touch by email to make sure all thoughts were in the covered from each presidency member.

Be moved with compassion (17:48)

* Followed the example of her bishop, a proactive leader who “wanted to know before their house burnt down” to help families before a crisis came. Communication is key for helping those who need extra attention within the ward, work with the bishop to plan visits for the week.

Work as a team in your presidency (20:34)

* Get to know each other’s strengths and talents to support each other. Corinthians scripture about being one body. They held presidency meetings every other week and would return and report.

By small and simple things great things come to pass (21:31)

* The presidency had small check-ins with the sisters about visiting teaching, very quick talks to see how it was working for companionships. The president also emailed sisters to get responses about how visiting teaching was going and how companionships were doing. Small changes helped with planning for larger changes in the future. As a Relief Society president she would visit ward sisters with the Young Women or Primary president depending on the situation.

How did you plan Enrichment Activities? (24:45)

* Small activity groups such as play group, beach group, craft groups to reach out to sisters with various interests. These helped create unity as sisters found they had common interests.

What are your thoughts about visiting teaching? (25:20)

* Each presidency member took stewardship over their district to make sure that women were getting visited. Instead of printing the assignments from the computer, she would include the information of the sisters that were the visiting teachers.

How has serving as Relief Society president made you a better disciple of Christ? (29:37)

]]>
Leading Saints clean 32:27
Creating Influence as a Church Leader | Interview With Justin Hale of VitalSmarts https://leadingsaints.org/creating-influence-as-a-church-leader-interview-with-justin-hale-of-vitalsmarts/ Wed, 08 Feb 2017 15:34:23 +0000 https://leadingsaints.org/?p=31447 Justin Hale is a Master Trainer at VitalSmarts, a corporate training company in Provo, Utah, that teaches leadership principles. Justin has had the opportunity to apply the principles he teaches in his church callings, previously as an Elder’s Quorum President and currently as a member of a Young Single Adult ward bishopric. Originally from Atlanta, Georgia, he served a mission in the Philippines and earned his undergraduate degree from BYU in Social Psychology. It was through those studies that he became interested in understanding why people do what they do. Episode Highlights: What is VitalSmarts? (3:40) How he was called to the YSA bishopric (9:00) VitalSmarts Leadership Principles Helpful in the Bishopric (13:00) Being Clear Up Front About How Decisions are Made in a Group Explain which of four types of decisions will be made: a consult, a vote, a command, or a consensus A bishop wants ward council members to contribute because he values their opinions (15:30) The Six Source Model (17:20) Answers the question “Why do people do what they do?” A variety of reasons why people don’t follow through (19:00) Ability vs. motivation Factors such as social skills and environment Helps pinpoint where a problem is (24:00) Prevents us from oversimplifying Accountability in Church Callings (26:00) Starts with specific expectations Establish an environment where it’s okay to discuss difficulties (31:00) Invite the Differences (33:20) Ask the question after sharing your opinion: The measure of a good question is the degree to which it invites difference How Teaching These Principles Have Made Him a Better Disciple of Jesus Christ (37:15) Learning how to show forth an increase in love: before, during, and afterwards Links: Crucial Conversations Crucial Accountability Influencer Change Anything Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth, and Happiness 6-Source Model for Home Teaching VitalSmarts Interviews on Leading Saints Behavioral Science Videos from VitalSmarts Justin Hale is a Master Trainer at VitalSmarts, a corporate training company in Provo, Utah, that teaches leadership principles. Justin has had the opportunity to apply the principles he teaches in his church callings, Episode Highlights:

What is VitalSmarts? (3:40)
How he was called to the YSA bishopric (9:00)
VitalSmarts Leadership Principles Helpful in the Bishopric (13:00)

Being Clear Up Front About How Decisions are Made in a Group

* Explain which of four types of decisions will be made: a consult, a vote, a command, or a consensus
A bishop wants ward council members to contribute because he values their opinions (15:30)

The Six Source Model (17:20)

Answers the question “Why do people do what they do?”
A variety of reasons why people don’t follow through (19:00)

Ability vs. motivation
Factors such as social skills and environment


Helps pinpoint where a problem is (24:00)
Prevents us from oversimplifying

Accountability in Church Callings (26:00)

Starts with specific expectations
Establish an environment where it’s okay to discuss difficulties (31:00)

Invite the Differences (33:20)

Ask the question after sharing your opinion: The measure of a good question is the degree to which it invites difference

How Teaching These Principles Have Made Him a Better Disciple of Jesus Christ (37:15)

Learning how to show forth an increase in love: before, during, and afterwards

Links:

* Crucial Conversations
* Crucial Accountability
* Influencer
* Change Anything
* Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth, and Happiness
* 6-Source Model for Home Teaching
* VitalSmarts Interviews on Leading Saints
* Behavioral Science Videos from VitalSmarts
]]>
Leading Saints clean 43:14
How to Influence the Perception of the LDS Church in Your Area | Guest Post: Kyle Morey https://leadingsaints.org/how-to-influence-the-perception-of-the-lds-church-in-your-area-guest-post-kyle-morey/ Sat, 04 Feb 2017 14:00:46 +0000 http://leadingsaints.org/?p=31301 You'll probably recognize Kyle Morey from a How I Lead interview I did with him about his experience being the public affairs specialist in his stake. Kyle had some remarkable ideas about using technology to spread the gospel and mentioned an in depth article series he wrote that goes into detail about his strategies. I encourage you to spend some time reading the four part series (see links below) or listen to the attached podcast episode and hear it from Kyle himself; definitely an episode to share with your ward mission leader and public affairs specialist. You may want to continue following Kyle's family's adventures as they jump around the country. Kyle Morey's four part series of inviting others to Christ through your digital device Part 1: Invite others to host the missionaries for dinner and a discussion Part 2: How to bump opinion leaders into the gospel through chapel tours Part 3: Will you help me with my talk? Part 4: Involve the youth in missionary with social media You'll probably recognize Kyle Morey from a How I Lead interview I did with him about his experience being the public affairs specialist in his stake. Kyle had some remarkable ideas about using technology to spread the gospel and mentioned an in depth ... How I Lead interview I did with him about his experience being the public affairs specialist in his stake. Kyle had some remarkable ideas about using technology to spread the gospel and mentioned an in depth article series he wrote that goes into detail about his strategies.

I encourage you to spend some time reading the four part series (see links below) or listen to the attached podcast episode and hear it from Kyle himself; definitely an episode to share with your ward mission leader and public affairs specialist.

You may want to continue following Kyle's family's adventures as they jump around the country.
Kyle Morey's four part series of inviting others to Christ through your digital device
Part 1: Invite others to host the missionaries for dinner and a discussion

Part 2: How to bump opinion leaders into the gospel through chapel tours

Part 3: Will you help me with my talk?

Part 4: Involve the youth in missionary with social media]]>
Leading Saints clean 25:48
Being a Leader in a Faith Crisis | Guest Post & Interview With Tom Tolman https://leadingsaints.org/being-a-leader-in-a-faith-crisis-guest-post-interview-with-tom-tolman/ Tue, 31 Jan 2017 14:00:32 +0000 http://leadingsaints.org/?p=31224 Tom Tolman teaches leadership to future military officers as the director of the Army ROTC program at James Madison University. He has served in two branch presidencies, as an elders quorum president and as a missionary in Japan. During his military career he has led and served in a variety of units including the 82nd Airborne Division, U.S. Special Operations Command, British Army Headquarters and the United States Military Academy at West Point.  He has deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan. Tom lives in Harrisonburg, VA with his wife Erin and four kids - Emma, Mary, Bennett, and Connor. Be sure to listen to the attached interview where Tom and Kurt talk in detail about what led up to Tom giving this talk in sacrament meeting.  Enter Tom... I like to run.  A few years ago I was training for a marathon.  Every Saturday I’d go for a long run - sometimes as long as 20 miles.  After the run, I had a particular craving for and would usually eat a large bowl of ramen soup.  After one run, a friend pointed out that the raman soup I was eating was terrible and contained high levels of sodium increasing my risk of high blood pressure and other problems.  I stopped eating the soup. As it turns out, because of the long runs and the physical activity, my body actually needed the extra salt. Thomas McConkie, author of Navigating a Mormon Faith Crisis, used a similar metaphor to talk about our spiritual needs.  He wrote: We have similar cravings spiritually. They feel counter-intuitive because in our mind, we know what we need for spiritual nourishment. Our culture has taught us what a proper diet looks like: read scriptures, go to church, pray, lose yourself in service to others. Repeat. Of course there is true sustenance in this formula. In Mormonism, it’s a bit like the spiritual food pyramid. And yet, we know more about developmental nutrition now than ever before. There are modifications in our diet that can lead to exhilarating growth spurts. There are different kinds of nutrients that we crave during different phases of our spiritual becoming. There are foods we need that we might not realize just how much we need. We all need different food. We all know members of the Church who aren’t attending regularly.  Or at all.  A close friend.  A family member.  Well over half the members of our branch don’t attend and that’s pretty normal across the Church.  Why is this?  Sometimes we are quick to propose reasons - perhaps they were offended; maybe they wanted to sin; maybe they were misled by some anti-mormon material or they just weren’t diligent enough in their scripture study and prayer. Perhaps, in some cases, despite our best efforts, everyone doesn’t find the spiritual nourishment they need at church.  When we, in well-meaning ways, attempt to force others to follow the diet that has always worked for us sometimes the consequences aren’t what we hoped. Now, I’m not speaking in some hypothetical or theoretical sense.   I’m going to be very candid.  About two years ago I had what we often call a crisis of faith.  Many of the things that I had regarded with great certainty I was no longer able to view the same way.  I had questions about seer stones and polygamy.  And dozens of others.  Nothing seemed to quite make sense. In the midst of my questioning, I felt alone and like I was suffocating.  Although I sat on the stand each week and was surrounded by loving and well-meaning friends and family I felt like my questions weren’t appropriate.  That my questions might be contagious and cause others to doubt - an outcome I didn’t want to inflict on anyone.  That my questions, if verbalized, would cause others to question my dedication or worthiness.  That my questions would be viewed as a threat.  So, I remained silent. By November last year my questions were getting in the way of my service and I asked to be released from my calling.  Although I loved everything about serving in the branch presidency, Tom Tolman teaches leadership to future military officers as the director of the Army ROTC program at James Madison University. He has served in two branch presidencies, as an elders quorum president and as a missionary in Japan.
Be sure to listen to the attached interview where Tom and Kurt talk in detail about what led up to Tom giving this talk in sacrament meeting. 
Enter Tom...
I like to run.  A few years ago I was training for a marathon.  Every Saturday I’d go for a long run - sometimes as long as 20 miles.  After the run, I had a particular craving for and would usually eat a large bowl of ramen soup.  After one run, a friend pointed out that the raman soup I was eating was terrible and contained high levels of sodium increasing my risk of high blood pressure and other problems.  I stopped eating the soup.

As it turns out, because of the long runs and the physical activity, my body actually needed the extra salt.

Thomas McConkie, author of Navigating a Mormon Faith Crisis, used a similar metaphor to talk about our spiritual needs.  He wrote:
We have similar cravings spiritually. They feel counter-intuitive because in our mind, we know what we need for spiritual nourishment. Our culture has taught us what a proper diet looks like: read scriptures, go to church, pray, lose yourself in service to others. Repeat. Of course there is true sustenance in this formula. In Mormonism, it’s a bit like the spiritual food pyramid. And yet, we know more about developmental nutrition now than ever before. There are modifications in our diet that can lead to exhilarating growth spurts. There are different kinds of nutrients that we crave during different phases of our spiritual becoming. There are foods we need that we might not realize just how much we need.
We all need different food.

We all know members of the Church who aren’t attending regularly.  Or at all.  A close friend.  A family member.  Well over half the members of our branch don’t attend and that’s pretty normal across the Church.  Why is this?  Sometimes we are quick to propose reasons - perhaps they were offended; maybe they wanted to sin; maybe they were misled by some anti-mormon material or they just weren’t diligent enough in their scripture study and prayer.

Perhaps, in some cases, despite our best efforts, everyone doesn’t find the spiritual nourishment they need at church.  When we, in well-meaning ways, attempt to force others to follow the diet that has always worked for us sometimes the consequences aren’t what we hoped.

Now, I’m not speaking in some hypothetical or theoretical sense.  

I’m going to be very candid.  About two years ago I had what we often call a crisis of faith.  Many of the things that I had regarded with great certainty I was no longer able to view the same way.  I had questions about seer stones and polygamy.  And dozens of others.  Nothing seemed to quite make sense.

In the midst of my questioning, I felt alone and like I was suffocating.  Although I sat on the stand each week and was surrounded by loving and well-meaning friends and family I felt like my questions weren’t appropriate.  That my questions might be contagious and cause others to doubt - an outcome I didn’t want to inflict on anyone.  That my questions, if verbalized,]]>
Leading Saints clean 61:37
Teaching Strategies in the Bishop’s Office With Maria Eckersley https://leadingsaints.org/teaching-strategies-in-the-bishops-office-with-maria-eckersley/ Tue, 24 Jan 2017 14:00:50 +0000 http://leadingsaints.org/?p=31310 Maria Eckersley lives now lives in Draper city, but was born in Illinois and raised in Blackfoot Idaho. She is the designer and creator of Meckmom.com.  The blog started out as a blog for mom tips, and has now transitioned it to a blog designed to make “Mom-life easier.”  The site has great ideas and principles for family home evenings and scripture study.  She also has a Youtube channel designed to help with object lessons and ideas improve teaching.  Maria currently serves in her ward as the gospel doctrine teacher. Episode Highlights 7:10  Shares the experience of having her husband called to be the bishop. 9:14  Advice for Bishop’s and their wives, “Although he can’t share specific details.. he can come home and tell you how he is changing through the process.”  “What did you learn today?” 11:22 Turning the bishop’s office into a classroom. 12:14 Maria was a partner with Sugardoodle.net and created the youtube channel to help her husband teach lessons 13:10 Teaching people not lessons 13:45 When teaching Primary kids, have as many visuals as possible.  They love object lessons, surprises, and using as many senses as possible. Break lesson into three basic points. 15:28 When teaching the Youth be authentic.  Tell your own stories and experiences.  Use simple object lessons that relate to things they use or see everyday.  Guide them to resources and tools that they can use.  Use LDS.org and Mormon.org to answer difficult questions. (17:53). 19:08  When teaching adults tell stories.  Adult’s need time to think and relate to the stories you are telling.  Direct the students to the stories in the scriptures.  Ask more questions then information and be vulnerable. Object Lessons: 23:54 Teaching adversity to primary kids by using dice. 25:30 Teaching adversity to the youth by using a piano. 27:08 Teaching adversity to adults by using the allegory of the olive tree Jacob 5: 21-22. 28:12 Teaching primary kids how to resist temptation by using a fishing lure and bait. 29:28 Teaching youth how to resist temptation by using a wooden spoon, “Stirring the harts of men." 31:07 Teaching adults how to resist temptation by using the Lehonti principle “poisoned by degrees” (Alma 47). 33:36 Teaching Primary kids about repentance by using cotton candy. 35:16 Kurt’s magic trick 37:07 Teaching teens about repentance by using a $10 bill. 39:25 Teaching adults about repentance by using wheat. 40:40 Teaching how to understand and feeling the Holy Ghost, by asking primary kids to rub their hands together. 41:45 Teaching teens how to understand the Holy Ghost by relating it to Wifi. 43:00 Teaching adults how to understand the Holy Ghost using Moroni’s promise. Links: MeckMom.com MeckMom Videos Consequence Stick Sugardoodle Teaching in the Savior's Way Maria's SlideShare The Fourth Watch, by S. Michael Wilcox Maria Eckersley lives now lives in Draper city, but was born in Illinois and raised in Blackfoot Idaho. She is the designer and creator of Meckmom.com.  The blog started out as a blog for mom tips, and has now transitioned it to a blog designed to make...

Maria Eckersley lives now lives in Draper city, but was born in Illinois and raised in Blackfoot Idaho. She is the designer and creator of Meckmom.com.  The blog started out as a blog for mom tips, and has now transitioned it to a blog designed to make “Mom-life easier.”  The site has great ideas and principles for family home evenings and scripture study.  She also has a Youtube channel designed to help with object lessons and ideas improve teaching.  Maria currently serves in her ward as the gospel doctrine teacher.
Episode Highlights


* 7:10  Shares the experience of having her husband called to be the bishop.
* 9:14  Advice for Bishop’s and their wives, “Although he can’t share specific details.. he can come home and tell you how he is changing through the process.”  “What did you learn today?”
* 11:22 Turning the bishop’s office into a classroom.
* 12:14 Maria was a partner with Sugardoodle.net and created the youtube channel to help her husband teach lessons
* 13:10 Teaching people not lessons
* 13:45 When teaching Primary kids, have as many visuals as possible.  They love object lessons, surprises, and using as many senses as possible. Break lesson into three basic points.
* 15:28 When teaching the Youth be authentic.  Tell your own stories and experiences.  Use simple object lessons that relate to things they use or see everyday.  Guide them to resources and tools that they can use.  Use LDS.org and Mormon.org to answer difficult questions. (17:53).
* 19:08  When teaching adults tell stories.  Adult’s need time to think and relate to the stories you are telling.  Direct the students to the stories in the scriptures.  Ask more questions then information and be vulnerable.

Object Lessons:

* 23:54 Teaching adversity to primary kids by using dice.
* 25:30 Teaching adversity to the youth by using a piano.
* 27:08 Teaching adversity to adults by using the allegory of the olive tree Jacob 5: 21-22.
* 28:12 Teaching primary kids how to resist temptation by using a fishing lure and bait.
* 29:28 Teaching youth how to resist temptation by using a wooden spoon, “Stirring the harts of men."
* 31:07 Teaching adults how to resist temptation by using the Lehonti principle “poisoned by degrees” (Alma 47).
* 33:36 Teaching Primary kids about repentance by using cotton candy.
* 35:16 Kurt’s magic trick
* 37:07 Teaching teens about repentance by using a $10 bill.
* 39:25 Teaching adults about repentance by using wheat.
* 40:40 Teaching how to understand and feeling the Holy Ghost, by asking primary kids to rub their hands together.
* 41:45 Teaching teens how to understand the Holy Ghost by relating it to Wifi.
* 43:00 Teaching adults how to understand the Holy Ghost u...]]>
Leading Saints clean 51:55
How I Lead as Scout Master | Interview With Eric Allen https://leadingsaints.org/how-i-lead-as-scout-master-interview-with-eric-allen/ Sat, 21 Jan 2017 15:14:00 +0000 http://leadingsaints.org/?p=31239 Eric Allen was raised in Bountiful, Utah and currently lives in Centerville, Utah, and has served as a scout master many times for many years. He served a full-time mission in Florida. He met his wife in an awkward fashion but it has turned out to be a wonderful marriage. Even thought Brother Allen didn't earn his Eagle as a young man, he has benefited from his experience mentoring young men in the scouting program to achieve the rank of Eagle. His soft spoken manner is based around strong leadership principles that has brought him success. Empower the boys (10:00) Value all ideas (18:10) State needs forcefully (20:50) Become and Instant Expert (25:05) Own your failures (26:45) Brother Allen also discusses his approach to Friends of Scouting and effectively and kindly gathering donations for the Boy Scouts of America program (32:00). Links: Don't Kill the Little Birds, President Kimball Eric Allen was raised in Bountiful, Utah and currently lives in Centerville, Utah, and has served as a scout master many times for many years. He served a full-time mission in Florida. He met his wife in an awkward fashion but it has turned out to be a...
Even thought Brother Allen didn't earn his Eagle as a young man, he has benefited from his experience mentoring young men in the scouting program to achieve the rank of Eagle. His soft spoken manner is based around strong leadership principles that has brought him success.

* Empower the boys (10:00)
* Value all ideas (18:10)
* State needs forcefully (20:50)
* Become and Instant Expert (25:05)
* Own your failures (26:45)

Brother Allen also discusses his approach to Friends of Scouting and effectively and kindly gathering donations for the Boy Scouts of America program (32:00).
Links:
Don't Kill the Little Birds, President Kimball]]>
Leading Saints clean 39:47
What the Council of 50 Can Teach Us About Ward Council https://leadingsaints.org/what-the-council-of-50-can-teach-us-about-ward-council/ Tue, 17 Jan 2017 14:00:52 +0000 http://leadingsaints.org/?p=31229 In this episode we speak with Matthew Grow, Director of Publications at the LDS Church History Library. Brother Grow graduated from Brigham Young University with a degree in History before completing a Masters and Ph.D in American History at the University of Notre Dame. Currently serving as an elders quorum president in his Salt Lake City-area ward, Brother Grow’s responsibilities at the Church History Library include supervising the publications of historical church documents, the Joseph Smith Papers project, the history section of LDS.org and other documents. He is a descendant of Parley P. Pratt and co-authored the biography, Parley P. Pratt: The Apostle Paul of Mormonism. (10:20) Leadership Traits of Parley P. Pratt for leaders today: Bold in his beliefs Tireless in service but balanced in service in the gospel and time with his family (13:20) Introduction to the Council of Fifty (Administrative Records, Council of Fifty, Minutes, March 1844-January 1846 published as part of the Joseph Smith Papers) (21:20) Principles by which Joseph Smith oversaw a council: Councils are where revelation should come It is the duty of every member of a council is to speak candidly – all are expected to participate Agree to disagree long enough to think through, debate and deliberate through an issue Take our councils seriously – returning and reporting at subsequent meetings Go through the process, do our part to work to find a solution and then expect the revelation to come (33:15) Resources to assist leaders in helping individuals with historical concerns: Don’t dismiss the question – take the question/questioner seriously ( Can’t testify the question away Leadership portal on LDS.org – synopses of gospel topic essays available As a leader, know the gospel topic essays ourselves History section of LDS.org – Pioneers in Every Land History section of LDS.org – Revelations in Context (also available in print) (42:00) Which leadership principles do we sometimes overlook? Church history in its totality is more faith affirming than faith troubling Receiving revelation takes work, no matter what our calling is. It is a misconception to some to think that when you reach a certain level of leadership that revelation comes easier or in a different manner Links: Parley P. Pratt: The Apostle Paul of Mormonism Administrative Records, Council of Fifty, Minutes, March 1844-January 1846 An Evening with Elder M. Russell Ballard 2016 address to CES Instructors www.history.lds.org Gospel Topic Essays Revelations in Context   In this episode we speak with Matthew Grow, Director of Publications at the LDS Church History Library. Brother Grow graduated from Brigham Young University with a degree in History before completing a Masters and Ph. LDS Church History Library. Brother Grow graduated from Brigham Young University with a degree in History before completing a Masters and Ph.D in American History at the University of Notre Dame. Currently serving as an elders quorum president in his Salt Lake City-area ward, Brother Grow’s responsibilities at the Church History Library include supervising the publications of historical church documents, the Joseph Smith Papers project, the history section of LDS.org and other documents. He is a descendant of Parley P. Pratt and co-authored the biography, Parley P. Pratt: The Apostle Paul of Mormonism.

(10:20) Leadership Traits of Parley P. Pratt for leaders today:

Bold in his beliefs
Tireless in service but balanced in service in the gospel and time with his family

(13:20) Introduction to the Council of Fifty (Administrative Records, Council of Fifty, Minutes, March 1844-January 1846 published as part of the Joseph Smith Papers)

(21:20) Principles by which Joseph Smith oversaw a council:

Councils are where revelation should come
It is the duty of every member of a council is to speak candidly – all are expected to participate
Agree to disagree long enough to think through, debate and deliberate through an issue
Take our councils seriously – returning and reporting at subsequent meetings
Go through the process, do our part to work to find a solution and then expect the revelation to come

(33:15) Resources to assist leaders in helping individuals with historical concerns:

Don’t dismiss the question – take the question/questioner seriously (
Can’t testify the question away
Leadership portal on LDS.org – synopses of gospel topic essays available
As a leader, know the gospel topic essays ourselves
History section of LDS.org – Pioneers in Every Land
History section of LDS.org – Revelations in Context (also available in print)

(42:00) Which leadership principles do we sometimes overlook?

Church history in its totality is more faith affirming than faith troubling
Receiving revelation takes work, no matter what our calling is. It is a misconception to some to think that when you reach a certain level of leadership that revelation comes easier or in a different manner

Links:
Parley P. Pratt: The Apostle Paul of Mormonism

Administrative Records, Council of Fifty, Minutes, March 1844-January 1846

An Evening with Elder M. Russell Ballard 2016 address to CES Instructors

www.history.lds.org

Gospel Topic Essays

Revelations in Context

 ]]>
Leading Saints clean 48:29
Slow Down and Lead | How I Lead: Marshall Askins https://leadingsaints.org/slow-down-and-lead-how-i-lead-marshall-askins/ Sat, 14 Jan 2017 14:00:54 +0000 http://leadingsaints.org/?p=31147 Marshall married his high school sweetheart, who happened to be a member of the church. While Marshall didn’t join right away he eventually joined the church at 38 years old, served in many different callings and has gained leadership experience. Marshall made a commitment to go to church after a diligent home teacher asked him, he started attending as he saw how his family loved him being there and the difference the gospel made in his own life. Home teachers need to teach the gospel to make sure that true doctrine is being taught to those who may need to hear it. The talk entitled Beware of Pride by Ezra Taft Benson was a turning point in Marshall’s conversion and after baptism he was quickly included in the Elder’s Quorum and given responsibilities that helped him see the gospel in action first hand. After attending the temple he was asked to serve as the ward mission leader. After moving and a few other callings, he was called as the elders quorum president and a few years later as a bishop. Principles of Leadership: Love your flock and let them know it (18:13) Slow down, listen, and be observant (22:00) How would you restructure bishopric meetings? (25:34) Communicate and teach communication (27:19) Make your office inviting and your presence wanted (33:19) Always Teach (36:32) Balance (42:38) What stands out the most from your EQP experience and serving as a bishop? Marshall truly learned to love and receive revelation. Through training with the stake president he learned about interviewing and leading people to Christ. Serving as a bishop was a highlight of his church service. Love your flock and let them know it Having a loving heart and letting people know that you love them. When you learn about the people and pray for them, you enrich your relationship with them and the Savior. Show love by telling them, praying for them, and praying that they can feel the love. Don’t be afraid to show emotion as you lead. When people know you love them, you’ll be able to help them, especially when you ask them to do hard things on their path to exaltation. Slow down, listen, and be observant The work of the Lord sometimes requires us to work slowly. When you have a leadership situation that requires council, make sure you’re taking the appropriate time to think about the council you can give them. Make sure to ponder decisions and mentally slow down to communicate with the Lord. (See D&C 61) How would you restructure bishopric meetings? Marshall suggests to be more structured and focused. Make sure that people are on task and that tangents are held to a minimum. Communicate and teach communication Each relationship is different and have different dynamics. Effective communication is important as you counsel individuals. It’s important that individuals aren’t making decisions off a misunderstanding from your communication. Make sure that everything makes sense to the individual. Improve your communication with your Father in Heaven as well. Make your office inviting and your presence wanted Whether you’re in your office or someone’s home, people have difficult situations and you want them to like to see the bishop. Having a comfortable environment helps keep a dialogue going to help them with their problems. Always Teach Teach the doctrine and teach it everywhere. Teach in interviews, teach in homes, teach and minister while you’re administering. When you teach you prepare everyone to make covenants and then after they’ve made the covenant, you’re teaching them how to keep their covenants. Balance Delegate and let others lead. Don’t micromanage, let others minister as you want to minister too. Just because they aren’t doing something they way you would do it doesn’t mean that they are doing it wrong. Have reporting systems in place so that you can know what’s happening without running the program yourself. Marshall married his high school sweetheart, who happened to be a member of the church. While Marshall didn’t join right away he eventually joined the church at 38 years old, served in many different callings and has gained leadership experience. Marshall made a commitment to go to church after a diligent home teacher asked him, he started attending as he saw how his family loved him being there and the difference the gospel made in his own life. Home teachers need to teach the gospel to make sure that true doctrine is being taught to those who may need to hear it.

The talk entitled Beware of Pride by Ezra Taft Benson was a turning point in Marshall’s conversion and after baptism he was quickly included in the Elder’s Quorum and given responsibilities that helped him see the gospel in action first hand. After attending the temple he was asked to serve as the ward mission leader. After moving and a few other callings, he was called as the elders quorum president and a few years later as a bishop.
Principles of Leadership:


Love your flock and let them know it (18:13)


Slow down, listen, and be observant (22:00)


How would you restructure bishopric meetings? (25:34)


Communicate and teach communication (27:19)


Make your office inviting and your presence wanted (33:19)


Always Teach (36:32)


Balance (42:38)


What stands out the most from your EQP experience and serving as a bishop?
Marshall truly learned to love and receive revelation. Through training with the stake president he learned about interviewing and leading people to Christ. Serving as a bishop was a highlight of his church service.

Love your flock and let them know it
Having a loving heart and letting people know that you love them. When you learn about the people and pray for them, you enrich your relationship with them and the Savior. Show love by telling them, praying for them, and praying that they can feel the love. Don’t be afraid to show emotion as you lead. When people know you love them, you’ll be able to help them, especially when you ask them to do hard things on their path to exaltation.

Slow down, listen, and be observant
The work of the Lord sometimes requires us to work slowly. When you have a leadership situation that requires council, make sure you’re taking the appropriate time to think about the council you can give them. Make sure to ponder decisions and mentally slow down to communicate with the Lord. (See D&C 61)

How would you restructure bishopric meetings?
Marshall suggests to be more structured and focused. Make sure that people are on task and that tangents are held to a minimum.

Communicate and teach communication
Each relationship is different and have different dynamics. Effective communication is important as you counsel individuals. It’s important that individuals aren’t making decisions off a misunderstanding from your communication. Make sure that everything makes sense to the individual. Improve your communication with your Father in Heaven as well.

Make your office inviting and your presence wanted
Whether you’re in your office or someone’s home, people have difficult situations and you want them to like to see the bishop. Having a comfortable environment helps keep a dialogue going to help them with their problems.

Always Teach
Teach the doctrine and teach it everywhere. Teach in interviews, teach in homes, teach and minister while you’re administering. When you teach you prepare everyone to make covenants and then after they’ve made the covenant, you’re teaching them how to keep their covenants.

Balance
Delegate and let others lead.]]>
Leading Saints clean 48:49
Faith and a Life Jacket | Interview With Ben Bernards https://leadingsaints.org/faith-and-a-life-jacket-interview-with-ben-bernards/ Tue, 10 Jan 2017 14:00:37 +0000 http://leadingsaints.org/?p=31150 Ben Bernards author of Faith and a Life Jacket: 7 Truths for your Eternal Mission. Ben also teaches at Especially For Youth conferences. Ben served his mission in the Fiji Islands mission, serving mainly in New Caledonia, the mission experience enriched his testimony in unique and challenging ways. He shares unique mission experiences that show tender mercies from Heavenly Father. Episode Highlights: Mission prep book that also ties into leadership qualities for LDS leaders. What advice can you give ward leaders to help reach out to youth? Try to bridge the age gap and connect on their level. Make sure that you understand the secular culture that they are living in so you can converse with them about things they are interested in. Being real and genuine with the youth can help connect with them and build relationships. Ward leaders should strive to help those preparing for a mission understand that it will be difficult. As you team up with Heavenly Father and inspired leaders, you will find success. We’ve been asked to take His yoke upon and and not our own. Ben Bernard’s book discusses 7 Truths that also apply to leadership within the ward. It’s going to be harder than you think but it’s possible with God’s help. Leadership is hard but it’s possible with God’s help. Social media is fine but don’t compare someone’s highlight reel with your behind the scenes. Your faithfulness and obedience that isn’t a guarantee of a smooth road. 100% obedience and hard work doesn’t mean that leadership or missionary work is going to be easy. Don’t let it get you down, let your faith help you keep going. Evil is real but God is more powerful. The reality of how difficult things can be, when the adversary tries to throw you off your path. Hold on to the fact that God’s power can cast out the darkness and bring light to everyone around us. Miracles happen and are unlocked by the patient obedient The Lord will reward and work best with those who are willing to follow His principles. How are you going to show love to those you lead? What ways can you serve the people you are leading in their everyday lives? Be willing to genuine and real with those that you serve. Try to become a minister of Christ in your interactions. What was helping for leadership development during your mission? Make the scriptures familiar with yourself and can apply the different stories and teaching to real life situations. Keep a record of scriptures that you continually use to help, write them down and keep them in an easily accessible location. Focus on bringing people to Christ at their own speed. Focus on the progress of the people and not the statistical aspect of the gospel. There is wisdom in helping those begin their journey and not rushing them through gaining a testimony. Timing is in God’s hands and success is sometimes measured in qualitative ways, this helps you see this as a people’s church and not a race for numbers. Putting standards on yourself is difficult as a leader and as you learn to set that aside and just love people, you’ll find success and joy in serving. The small progress that people make can be counted as success and it’s just as important as the large steps. When we set aside the best things for our lives and work in God’s vineyard that we see the miracles and blessings happen. Let God direct the work. Now Go Out There and Teach Someone. Links: Faith and a Life Jacket Book BenBernards.com Ben Bernards author of Faith and a Life Jacket: 7 Truths for your Eternal Mission. Ben also teaches at Especially For Youth conferences. Ben served his mission in the Fiji Islands mission, serving mainly in New Caledonia, Faith and a Life Jacket: 7 Truths for your Eternal Mission. Ben also teaches at Especially For Youth conferences. Ben served his mission in the Fiji Islands mission, serving mainly in New Caledonia, the mission experience enriched his testimony in unique and challenging ways. He shares unique mission experiences that show tender mercies from Heavenly Father.

Episode Highlights:

* Mission prep book that also ties into leadership qualities for LDS leaders.
* What advice can you give ward leaders to help reach out to youth?

* Try to bridge the age gap and connect on their level. Make sure that you understand the secular culture that they are living in so you can converse with them about things they are interested in. Being real and genuine with the youth can help connect with them and build relationships.


* Ward leaders should strive to help those preparing for a mission understand that it will be difficult. As you team up with Heavenly Father and inspired leaders, you will find success. We’ve been asked to take His yoke upon and and not our own.
* Ben Bernard’s book discusses 7 Truths that also apply to leadership within the ward.
* It’s going to be harder than you think but it’s possible with God’s help.
* Leadership is hard but it’s possible with God’s help.
* Social media is fine but don’t compare someone’s highlight reel with your behind the scenes.
* Your faithfulness and obedience that isn’t a guarantee of a smooth road. 100% obedience and hard work doesn’t mean that leadership or missionary work is going to be easy. Don’t let it get you down, let your faith help you keep going.
* Evil is real but God is more powerful.
* The reality of how difficult things can be, when the adversary tries to throw you off your path. Hold on to the fact that God’s power can cast out the darkness and bring light to everyone around us.
* Miracles happen and are unlocked by the patient obedient The Lord will reward and work best with those who are willing to follow His principles.
* How are you going to show love to those you lead?
* What ways can you serve the people you are leading in their everyday lives? Be willing to genuine and real with those that you serve. Try to become a minister of Christ in your interactions.
* What was helping for leadership development during your mission?
* Make the scriptures familiar with yourself and can apply the different stories and teaching to real life situations. Keep a record of scriptures that you continually use to help, write them down and keep them in an easily accessible location. Focus on bringing people to Christ at their own speed.
* Focus on the progress of the people and not the statistical aspect of the gospel. There is wisdom in helping those begin their journey and not rushing them through gaining a testimony. Timing is in God’s hands and success is sometimes measured in qualitative ways, this helps you see this as a people’s church and not a race for numbers. Putting standards on yourself is difficult as a leader and as you learn to set that aside and just love people, you’ll find success and joy in serving. The small progress that people make can be counted as success and it’s just as important as the large steps.
* When we set aside the best things for our lives and work in God’s vineyard that we see the miracles and blessings happen. Let God direct the work.
* Now Go Out There and Teach Someone.

Links:
Faith and a Life Jacket Book

BenBernards.com

]]>
Leading Saints clean 80:32
Achieving the Savior’s Vision of Home Teaching | An Interview with Adam Ellsworth https://leadingsaints.org/achieving-the-saviors-vision-of-home-teaching-an-interview-with-adam-ellsworth/ Sat, 07 Jan 2017 14:00:58 +0000 http://leadingsaints.org/?p=31081 In this episode of the How I Lead segment we talk to Adam Ellsworth. Adam is currently serving as the president of his elders quorum in Maryland. Both Adam and his wife were raised in Southern California but did not meet until they attended the same student ward at Brigham Young University. After receiving his bachelors degree at BYU, Adam graduated law school from Pepperdine University after which he took a job in Washington D.C. as a patent attorney. Adam and his family have called D.C. home for the last 10 years. Adam also shares with us his five leadership principles accompanied with an effective and unique approach to home teaching. He and his presidency have effectively changed the culture of home teaching in their quorum. 5 Principles of Leadership: Exercise inspired judgment and allow others to do the same (46:30) Focus on Christ (47:23) Lead with Christ's authority in the manner that he instructed (49:00) If you want something done, talk one on one (52:57) Be one, build unity by communication. Episode Highlights: What was your childhood like? (4:00) Did you serve a full time mission? (4:51) How did you meet your wife? (6:20) What is the first general conference talk that comes to mind? (7:48) What other callings have you had? (12:20) How were you called as elders quorum president? (13:04) HOW DO YOU APPROACH HOME TEACHING? (14:00) Five Principles of Leadership (40:37) Links: DOWNLOAD the Home Teaching document from Adam's stake The Power of a Strong Testimony, by Elder Richard G. Scott DeAnna Murphy Episode The Weightier Matters of the Law: Judgment, Mercy, and Faith, by President James E. Faust Essentialism Episode   In this episode of the How I Lead segment we talk to Adam Ellsworth. Adam is currently serving as the president of his elders quorum in Maryland. Both Adam and his wife were raised in Southern California but did not meet until they attended the same st...
Adam also shares with us his five leadership principles accompanied with an effective and unique approach to home teaching. He and his presidency have effectively changed the culture of home teaching in their quorum.
5 Principles of Leadership:

* Exercise inspired judgment and allow others to do the same (46:30)
* Focus on Christ (47:23)
* Lead with Christ's authority in the manner that he instructed (49:00)
* If you want something done, talk one on one (52:57)
* Be one, build unity by communication.

Episode Highlights:

* What was your childhood like? (4:00)
* Did you serve a full time mission? (4:51)
* How did you meet your wife? (6:20)
* What is the first general conference talk that comes to mind? (7:48)
* What other callings have you had? (12:20)
* How were you called as elders quorum president? (13:04)
* HOW DO YOU APPROACH HOME TEACHING? (14:00)
* Five Principles of Leadership (40:37)

Links:

* DOWNLOAD the Home Teaching document from Adam's stake
* The Power of a Strong Testimony, by Elder Richard G. Scott
* DeAnna Murphy Episode
* The Weightier Matters of the Law: Judgment, Mercy, and Faith, by President James E. Faust
* Essentialism Episode

 ]]>
Leading Saints clean 59:22
Being an Organized Spiritual Counselor (Bishop) | An Interview With Beckie Hennessy https://leadingsaints.org/being-an-organized-spiritual-counselor-bishop-an-interview-with-beckie-hennessy/ Tue, 03 Jan 2017 14:00:34 +0000 http://leadingsaints.org/?p=30373 Beckie Hennessy is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who has years in counseling. In this episode we talk about how a clinical counselor organizes their counseling appointment in a way that helps their clients progress and benefit from the counseling provided. Bishop or Stake Presidents can learn from their systems and hopefully help individuals they are spiritually counseling feel more loved. Episode Highlights What should a bishop expect when working with a professional counselor? (7:05) Thoughts on the LDS Addiction Recovery Groups (14:40) Elder Dallin H. Oaks - Recovering from the Trap of Pornography How should bishops work as a team with the professional counselor? (15:42) How can bishops best organize and track their own progress when counseling with members? (19:45) 5 Ways to Stay Organized as a Spiritual Counselor Embracing Technology (22:05) TheraNest (for professional counselors) Google Docs Evernote OneNote Organize with F.H.E. (How to keep notes during your meetings) (33:26) Focus - describe in notes the reason why they wanted to meet along with your thoughts about additional areas of focus Help - what did you advise them to do, what was your commitment to help them? Expectations - what are the specific actions required of the bishop and of the individual Be Present or Postponing (40:45) What do to and say when your are called with an urgent matter during personal time Become familiar with local crisis lines and resources Follow Through (53:00) Timely follow through expresses care, love and genuine concern Links: Bricks Family Counseling Cobalt Counseling Beckie Hennessy is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who has years in counseling. In this episode we talk about how a clinical counselor organizes their counseling appointment in a way that helps their clients progress and benefit from the counseling p... Episode Highlights

* What should a bishop expect when working with a professional counselor? (7:05)
* Thoughts on the LDS Addiction Recovery Groups (14:40)
* Elder Dallin H. Oaks - Recovering from the Trap of Pornography

* How should bishops work as a team with the professional counselor? (15:42)
* How can bishops best organize and track their own progress when counseling with members? (19:45)

5 Ways to Stay Organized as a Spiritual Counselor

* Embracing Technology (22:05)

* TheraNest (for professional counselors)
* Google Docs
* Evernote
* OneNote


* Organize with F.H.E. (How to keep notes during your meetings) (33:26)

* Focus - describe in notes the reason why they wanted to meet along with your thoughts about additional areas of focus
* Help - what did you advise them to do, what was your commitment to help them?
* Expectations - what are the specific actions required of the bishop and of the individual


* Be Present or Postponing (40:45)

* What do to and say when your are called with an urgent matter during personal time
* Become familiar with local crisis lines and resources


* Follow Through (53:00)

* Timely follow through expresses care, love and genuine concern



Links:

* Bricks Family Counseling
* Cobalt Counseling
]]>
Leading Saints clean 66:05
10 Most Popular Leading Saints Content of 2016 https://leadingsaints.org/10-most-popular-leadinglds-content-of-2016/ Mon, 26 Dec 2016 14:00:12 +0000 http://leadingsaints.org/?p=30838 2016 has been the largest growth year for Leading Saints yet! It's exciting to see more leaders in the Church discover the content and gain from the knowledge of other leaders. We had close to 200,000 unique podcast downloads and almost 100,000 unique visits to the website. We are truly making a difference and I am excited to see the progress that is made in 2017. If you are new to Leading Saints or want to look back on 2016 to discover the most popular content on Leading Saints, here you go! Most Downloaded Episodes of 2016 1. What I Learned About Leadership When My 2nd Counselor Left the Church An incredibly real discussion about leaders perspective on those that leave the Church and why. I interviewed one of my bishopric counselors that recently left the Church. Listen here 2. Loving Our LGBT Brethren & Sisters | An Interview with Bishop Carl Hull Bishop Hull had a remarkable journey to better understand the LGBT community and most importantly how to love them more fully as a bishop. Listen here 3. Being an Essentialism Bishop | An Interview with Greg McKeown I am so happy to see that this interview got so much traction. Every busy bishop or church leader needs to listen to this multiple times and then read Bishop Greg McKeown's book Essentialism: The Disciplined Persuit of Less. It has changed my approach to what I focus on and how I can more effectively lead by doing less. Listen here 4. The Art of Significance in LDS Leadership | How I Lead: Bishop Dan Clark This was probably one of the more fun interviews I did. Dan Clark is a riot to be around and that fact that I was able to visit him in his home and ask him deep leadership principles was awesome. This interview will leave any leader motivated to change the world through their calling. Listen here 5. How to Support Transgender Members In Your LDS Ward The General Authorities have not said much about the issue of Transgener Mormons. I am sure more is to come but this was a fantastic interivew where I sat down with Brigit Pack, who is affiliated with North Star, and we discussed her experience of having a spouse that is transgender. It was an enlightening interview and I have had a new perspective ever since I was apart of it. Listen here 6. Home Teaching During Tragedy | The Story Behind Elder Holland’s #LDSconf Talk More details about Elder Holland's story about the heartwrenching story of the loss of Austen Russell can be found in this interview. I chatted with Troy Russell, Austen's father, and his home teacher, John Manning. There was a sweet spirit present as we did this interview and many have emailed me about the impact it had on them. I hope it helps you better home or visit teach. Listen here 7. Perfection is Not 100% Home Teaching | An Interview with Yohan Delton I was extremely impressed by the knowledge of Yohan Delton. Every elders quorum president and Relief Society president needs to understand these concepts. It will make you a better leader. Listen here 8. How to Disagree as a Leader Without Making an Enemy | An Interview with Gary Rhoads If you have served in leadership you have definitely experienced a communication issue. Professor Gary Rhoads shares a handful of LDS Church leadership experiences that all leaders can learn from. The more you learn how to communicate the better you will lead and love. Listen here 9. Mental Illness & the Bishop’s Office Jeff Case, a clinical psychologist, talks about the in's and out's of mental illness so that bishops and other church leaders can better find a place for them in their wards and groups. Listen here 10. The Why of Your Calling | An Interview with Wendy Ulrich If you are not familiar with Wendy Ulrich's work this is a great place to start. With her vast experience in business consulting and church leadership experience, she paints a picture that will motivate any leader to help others find their why. Listen here 2016 has been the largest growth year for Leading Saints yet! It's exciting to see more leaders in the Church discover the content and gain from the knowledge of other leaders. We had close to 200,000 unique podcast downloads and almost 100,
If you are new to Leading Saints or want to look back on 2016 to discover the most popular content on Leading Saints, here you go!
Most Downloaded Episodes of 2016
1. What I Learned About Leadership When My 2nd Counselor Left the Church


An incredibly real discussion about leaders perspective on those that leave the Church and why. I interviewed one of my bishopric counselors that recently left the Church. Listen here
2. Loving Our LGBT Brethren & Sisters | An Interview with Bishop Carl Hull


Bishop Hull had a remarkable journey to better understand the LGBT community and most importantly how to love them more fully as a bishop. Listen here
3. Being an Essentialism Bishop | An Interview with Greg McKeown


I am so happy to see that this interview got so much traction. Every busy bishop or church leader needs to listen to this multiple times and then read Bishop Greg McKeown's book Essentialism: The Disciplined Persuit of Less. It has changed my approach to what I focus on and how I can more effectively lead by doing less. Listen here
4. The Art of Significance in LDS Leadership | How I Lead: Bishop Dan Clark


This was probably one of the more fun interviews I did. Dan Clark is a riot to be around and that fact that I was able to visit him in his home and ask him deep leadership principles was awesome. This interview will leave any leader motivated to change the world through their calling. Listen here
5. How to Support Transgender Members In Your LDS Ward


The General Authorities have not said much about the issue of Transgener Mormons. I am sure more is to come but this was a fantastic interivew where I sat down with Brigit Pack, who is affiliated with North Star, and we discussed her experience of having a spouse that is transgender. It was an enlightening interview and I have had a new perspective ever since I was apart of it. Listen here
6. Home Teaching During Tragedy | The Story Behind Elder Holland’s #LDSconf Talk


More details about Elder Holland's story about the heartwrenching story of the loss of Austen Russell can be found in this interview. I chatted with Troy Russell,]]>
Leading Saints clean 19:43
How I Lead as Stake President in Australia | An Interview With Robert Gordon https://leadingsaints.org/how-i-lead-as-stake-president-in-australia-an-interview-with-robert-gordon/ Mon, 19 Dec 2016 16:37:59 +0000 http://leadingsaints.org/?p=30764 Robert Gordon is from New Zealand and currently lives in Brisbane, Australia. He has served as bishop, stake president, and in several mission presidencies. He also served a mission in Brisbane, Australia as a young man. In this interview he shares of his experience in leading and has many great stories to go along with it. 5 Leadership Principles Love the people (13:45) Build unity, starting with the presidency (16:43) Turn the keys of priesthood authority (23:58) Have a vision people can embrace and be careful with goals that don't mean anything. (28:28) Have competent people do the administering and don't sweat the small stuff (35:51) Episode Highlights Robert's background (02:39) How did it come to be that you were called as Stake President? (06:13) What's the process of getting called to a mission presidency? (09:20) Principle 1: Love the people (13:45) Principle 2: Build unity, starting with the presidency (16:43) What can a presidency to do establish presidency? (21:17) Principle 3: Turn the keys of priesthood authority (23:58) Principle 4: Have a vision people can embrace and be careful with goals that don't mean anything. (28:28) What was your process of setting goals? (31:37) Principle 5: Have competent people do the administering and don't sweat the small stuff (35:51) Any in your area that created a unique challenge? (39:07) How has your time in leadership made you a better disciple of Jesus Christ? (43:43) Robert Gordon is from New Zealand and currently lives in Brisbane, Australia. He has served as bishop, stake president, and in several mission presidencies. He also served a mission in Brisbane, Australia as a young man.
5 Leadership Principles

* Love the people (13:45)
* Build unity, starting with the presidency (16:43)
* Turn the keys of priesthood authority (23:58)
* Have a vision people can embrace and be careful with goals that don't mean anything. (28:28)
* Have competent people do the administering and don't sweat the small stuff (35:51)

Episode Highlights

* Robert's background (02:39)
* How did it come to be that you were called as Stake President? (06:13)
* What's the process of getting called to a mission presidency? (09:20)
* Principle 1: Love the people (13:45)
* Principle 2: Build unity, starting with the presidency (16:43)
* What can a presidency to do establish presidency? (21:17)
* Principle 3: Turn the keys of priesthood authority (23:58)
* Principle 4: Have a vision people can embrace and be careful with goals that don't mean anything. (28:28)
* What was your process of setting goals? (31:37)
* Principle 5: Have competent people do the administering and don't sweat the small stuff (35:51)
* Any in your area that created a unique challenge? (39:07)
* How has your time in leadership made you a better disciple of Jesus Christ? (43:43)
]]>
Leading Saints clean 47:52
The Human Element is Crucial for Inspired Leadership | An Interview with Dr. Gregory Prince https://leadingsaints.org/the-human-element-is-crucial-for-inspired-leadership-an-interview-with-dr-gregory-prince/ Tue, 13 Dec 2016 14:00:17 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3874 Dr. Gregory Prince was born and raised in Southern California. He served a mission in Brazil. After his mission he became a Dentist and later received a Ph.D in pathology. As a young elders quorum president in Washington DC he began researching and writing about the history of the priesthood in the LDS Church and produce a book called, Power from on High: The Development of Mormon Priesthood. He later met a mission president in Washington DC that would soon become a friend and change the course of his life. That mission president was Robert Wright who Dr. Prince co-authored David O. McKay and the Rise of Modern Mormonism. This book project led Dr. Prince to meet the daughter of former Church Historian, Leonard Arrington, who asked him to write Leonard's biography. In this episode Dr. Prince discusses the role of history as it relates to doctrine of the Church. We also discuss what the realities of inspiration look like and how perfect revelation is received through mortals that can make mistakes. We also discuss how leaders can mentor lay members who struggle with some aspects of Church history. Episode Highlights How did the path of becoming an author begin for you? (03:21) Power from on High, The Development of Mormon Priesthood (05:55) Being asked to become David O. McKay's biographer (06:37) What did you learn from your research on the Priesthood that would help an Elders Quorum President to lead more effectively? (08:33) How Sidney Rigdon influenced the doctrine of the Priesthood? (11:26) Priesthood Authority vs. Priesthood Power (14:23) The significance of the temple endowment and missionaries (17:23) A brief synopsis of David O. McKay's biography and the Leonard Arrington biography (23:48) What comprises inspiration for our Church leaders? (30:23) Why should leaders feel comfortable saying "I don't know?" (33:13) Recognizing hyperbole in Church leadership inspiration (37:32) "Don't they realize we're just human beings doing our best?" (43:01) How different leaders see the relationship between truth and history (44:38) History can inform testimony but it is not testimony (48:56) What would you say to a leader that wants to use history to bring someone out of doubt? (50:27) How can a local leader get ahead of these historical data points so that people learn of sticky Church history from their bishop rather than online? (54:13) What can you tell us about Leonard the person that would encourage people to read his biography? (56:36) Would you agree that Leonard was a person that had a different viewpoint but still stayed in the Church and found room? (59:58) What about leadership to these two biographies teach us the best? (01:02:24) Over your time studying the history of the Church and researching some of the mistakes of prophets and seers, how have you become a better disciples of these prophets, seers, and revelators? (01:06:01) Links: Power from on High: The Development of Mormon Priesthood David O. McKay and the Rise of Modern Mormonism  Leonard Arrington and the Writing of Mormon History PBS Mormon Documentary President Kimball's talk where he mentions plateaus Dr. Gregory Prince was born and raised in Southern California. He served a mission in Brazil. After his mission he became a Dentist and later received a Ph.D in pathology. As a young elders quorum president in Washington DC he began researching and wri... Power from on High: The Development of Mormon Priesthood. He later met a mission president in Washington DC that would soon become a friend and change the course of his life. That mission president was Robert Wright who Dr. Prince co-authored David O. McKay and the Rise of Modern Mormonism. This book project led Dr. Prince to meet the daughter of former Church Historian, Leonard Arrington, who asked him to write Leonard's biography.

In this episode Dr. Prince discusses the role of history as it relates to doctrine of the Church. We also discuss what the realities of inspiration look like and how perfect revelation is received through mortals that can make mistakes. We also discuss how leaders can mentor lay members who struggle with some aspects of Church history.
Episode Highlights

* How did the path of becoming an author begin for you? (03:21)
* Power from on High, The Development of Mormon Priesthood (05:55)
* Being asked to become David O. McKay's biographer (06:37)
* What did you learn from your research on the Priesthood that would help an Elders Quorum President to lead more effectively? (08:33)
* How Sidney Rigdon influenced the doctrine of the Priesthood? (11:26)
* Priesthood Authority vs. Priesthood Power (14:23)
* The significance of the temple endowment and missionaries (17:23)
* A brief synopsis of David O. McKay's biography and the Leonard Arrington biography (23:48)
* What comprises inspiration for our Church leaders? (30:23)
* Why should leaders feel comfortable saying "I don't know?" (33:13)
* Recognizing hyperbole in Church leadership inspiration (37:32)
* "Don't they realize we're just human beings doing our best?" (43:01)
* How different leaders see the relationship between truth and history (44:38)
* History can inform testimony but it is not testimony (48:56)
* What would you say to a leader that wants to use history to bring someone out of doubt? (50:27)
* How can a local leader get ahead of these historical data points so that people learn of sticky Church history from their bishop rather than online? (54:13)
* What can you tell us about Leonard the person that would encourage people to read his biography? (56:36)
* Would you agree that Leonard was a person that had a different viewpoint but still stayed in the Church and found room? (59:58)
* What about leadership to these two biographies teach us the best? (01:02:24)
* Over your time studying the history of the Church and researching some of the mistakes of prophets and seers, how have you become a better disciples of these prophets, seers, and revelators? (01:06:01)

Links:
Power from on High: The Development of Mormon Priesthood

David O. McKay and the Rise of Modern Mormonism 

Leonard Arrington and the Writing of Mormon History

PBS Mormon Documentary

President Kimball's talk where he mentions plateaus]]>
Leading Saints clean 75:17
Leading Relief Society With Boundaries | How I Lead: President Amy Durham https://leadingsaints.org/leading-relief-society-with-boundaries-how-i-lead-president-amy-durham/ Sat, 10 Dec 2016 19:34:48 +0000 http://leadingsaints.org/?p=30256 Amy Durham lives in Salt Lake City, Utah and is the Director of Production for Deseret Book. She was recently released as Relief Society president in her ward and has also had experience working in the Young Women program. In this episode we discuss how she led as Relief Society president, including what were the unique dynamics she faced as a single Relief Society president in a traditional family ward. She shares some incredible tips on how she handled Church welfare requests, and how she ministered to the many different demographics in her ward. 5 Leadership Principles Assess your own strengths as a leader (13:05) Delegate (16:30) Provide opportunities, not obligations (30:59) Sometimes it  is a jungle gym! (39:06) This is His gig! (42:17) Episode Highlights Rapid Fire Questions (04:09) What is your best advice for Young Women leaders? (07:50) How were you called as RS president? (09:05) "I don't have the Relief Society voice." (10:42) What processes did you go through to prepare to be RS Pres? (12:07) Principle 1: How did you assess your own strengths as a leader? (13:05) What are the demographics and unique challenges of your ward? (15:08) Principle 2: Delegate (16:30) What were you focusing on and not delegating to others? (18:28) What was your ward welfare process like and how did you approach it? (19:51) How did you tell people no? (28:23) Principle 3: Provide opportunities, not obligations (30:59) Why plan a weekly Relief Society activity? (36:27) Principle 4: Sometimes it's a jungle gym! (39:06) Principle 5: This is His gig! (42:17) What unique challenges did you face as a single Relief Society president? (45:55) What was your approach to visiting teaching? (51:08) As you have served as a Relief Society president, how has that made you a better disciple of Jesus Christ? (53:41) Amy's Food Order Packet Food Order Process Explanation Food Order Sample Menu Food Order Blank Menu For serving size menu see the Food Order Reference Guide Links: Like a Broken Vessel, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland Amy Durham lives in Salt Lake City, Utah and is the Director of Production for Deseret Book. She was recently released as Relief Society president in her ward and has also had experience working in the Young Women program. In this episode we discuss how she led as Relief Society president, including what were the unique dynamics she faced as a single Relief Society president in a traditional family ward. She shares some incredible tips on how she handled Church welfare requests, and how she ministered to the many different demographics in her ward.

5 Leadership Principles

* Assess your own strengths as a leader (13:05)
* Delegate (16:30)
* Provide opportunities, not obligations (30:59)
* Sometimes it  is a jungle gym! (39:06)
* This is His gig! (42:17)

Episode Highlights

* Rapid Fire Questions (04:09)
* What is your best advice for Young Women leaders? (07:50)
* How were you called as RS president? (09:05)
* "I don't have the Relief Society voice." (10:42)
* What processes did you go through to prepare to be RS Pres? (12:07)
* Principle 1: How did you assess your own strengths as a leader? (13:05)
* What are the demographics and unique challenges of your ward? (15:08)
* Principle 2: Delegate (16:30)
* What were you focusing on and not delegating to others? (18:28)
* What was your ward welfare process like and how did you approach it? (19:51)
* How did you tell people no? (28:23)
* Principle 3: Provide opportunities, not obligations (30:59)
* Why plan a weekly Relief Society activity? (36:27)
* Principle 4: Sometimes it's a jungle gym! (39:06)
* Principle 5: This is His gig! (42:17)
* What unique challenges did you face as a single Relief Society president? (45:55)
* What was your approach to visiting teaching? (51:08)
* As you have served as a Relief Society president, how has that made you a better disciple of Jesus Christ? (53:41)

Amy's Food Order Packet

* Food Order Process Explanation
* Food Order Sample Menu
* Food Order Blank Menu
* For serving size menu see the Food Order Reference Guide

Links:
Like a Broken Vessel, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
]]>
Leading Saints clean 58:33
Preserving the Relationship When Loved Ones Believe Differently | An Interview With Jon Ogden https://leadingsaints.org/an-interview-with-jon-ogden/ Tue, 06 Dec 2016 14:00:53 +0000 http://leadingsaints.org/?p=29769 Jon Ogden is the author of When Mormons Doubt: A Way to Save Relationships and Seek a Quality Life, as well as an Op-ed for the Salt Lake Tribune: “Belief in ‘Sad Heaven’ hurts relationships in era of Mormon doubt.” Interview Highlights How our perspective of the afterlife can hurt our family relations with those who disagree with us. (3:38) When relationships are defined by difference, it’s unhealthy. 5:40 Where did the concept of a “Sad Heaven” come from? 5:50 Reconsidering what constitutes success. 7:00 Will family relations be the way we think they will in Heaven? 8:00 Mr. Rogers & Pascal’s wager, “I love you just the way you are.” 10:10 Becoming closer to God by loving those as they are.  13:30 “You are worrying about the wrong problem. You just live worthy of the celestial kingdom, and the family arrangements will be more wonderful than you can imagine.” The Hope of Eternal Family – President Henry B. Eyring August 2016 Ensign 14:33 Finding common ground between believers and doubters. 18:10 Doubting is wrestling at an intellectual level. 19:20 Finding beauty, goodness and truth in the church and appreciating it. 20:25 Being open to uncomfortable historical facts of our church. 23:46 Finding and embracing beauty all around. 28:52 When I followed my religion, I became the man I want to be.  31:49 Why do we worry when people leave the church? 34:10 What if they don’t return to our church? 39:00 Links: The Hope of Eternal Family—President Henry B. Eyring Jon Ogden is the author of When Mormons Doubt: A Way to Save Relationships and Seek a Quality Life, as well as an Op-ed for the Salt Lake Tribune: “Belief in ‘Sad Heaven’ hurts relationships in era of Mormon doubt.” Interview Highlights - When Mormons Doubt: A Way to Save Relationships and Seek a Quality Life, as well as an Op-ed for the Salt Lake Tribune: “Belief in ‘Sad Heaven’ hurts relationships in era of Mormon doubt.”
Interview Highlights

* How our perspective of the afterlife can hurt our family relations with those who disagree with us. (3:38)
* When relationships are defined by difference, it’s unhealthy. 5:40
* Where did the concept of a “Sad Heaven” come from? 5:50
* Reconsidering what constitutes success. 7:00
* Will family relations be the way we think they will in Heaven? 8:00
* Mr. Rogers & Pascal’s wager, “I love you just the way you are.” 10:10
* Becoming closer to God by loving those as they are.  13:30
* “You are worrying about the wrong problem. You just live worthy of the celestial kingdom, and the family arrangements will be more wonderful than you can imagine.” The Hope of Eternal Family – President Henry B. Eyring August 2016 Ensign 14:33
* Finding common ground between believers and doubters. 18:10
* Doubting is wrestling at an intellectual level. 19:20
* Finding beauty, goodness and truth in the church and appreciating it. 20:25
* Being open to uncomfortable historical facts of our church. 23:46
* Finding and embracing beauty all around. 28:52
* When I followed my religion, I became the man I want to be.  31:49
* Why do we worry when people leave the church? 34:10
* What if they don’t return to our church? 39:00

Links:
The Hope of Eternal Family—President Henry B. Eyring]]>
Leading Saints clean 45:00
Being a Sunday Mom | How I Lead as Primary President https://leadingsaints.org/being-a-sunday-mom-how-i-lead-as-primary-president/ Sat, 03 Dec 2016 14:00:51 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3976 In this episode of "How I Lead" we head back to Edmonton, Canada to speak with Danica Forsyth. Danica has been married for 7 years and is the mother of a 3 year old little daughter. Sister Forsyth was born and raised in Fort Macleod, Alberta before school took her to Edmonton where she met her husband. Through out her interview Danica discusses with us the challenges and blessings of serving in the primary for 7 years and most recently as the primary president. Danica is a registered nurse who works hard at putting her family first while continuing to magnify her calling. Not only is she a primary president but she is also a missionary...Danica shares with us how she introduced a life long pen pal from Japan to the restored gospel. In this episode of "How I Lead" we head back to Edmonton, Canada to speak with Danica Forsyth. Danica has been married for 7 years and is the mother of a 3 year old little daughter. Sister Forsyth was born and raised in Fort Macleod, 5 Leadership Principles:

* First calling first
* Communication
* Children are people too
* Go and Do
* Have fun

Links:
Interview with Danica's bishopric

Wendy Ulrich Interview

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Leading Saints clean 41:15
The Role of Doubt and Faith | An Interview With Prof. Michael Goodman https://leadingsaints.org/the-role-of-doubt-and-faith-an-interview-with-prof-michael-goodman/ Wed, 30 Nov 2016 02:00:19 +0000 http://leadingsaints.org/?p=29237 Michael Goodman is a member of the faculty in the Church History and Doctrine Department at BYU where he teaches various classes including Marriage and Family and Mission Prep. He describes his experience teaching at BYU as a “sheer delight.” Brother Goodman joined the Church at 18 and served a mission a year later in Bangkok Thailand. He served again in Thailand as a mission president 13 year later (at 33-years-old) where he served as presiding authority for the majority of the country. After his time has mission president Michael served as bishop of a BYU singles ward. Michael Goodman is a member of the faculty in the Church History and Doctrine Department at BYU where he teaches various classes including Marriage and Family and Mission Prep. He describes his experience teaching at BYU as a “sheer delight.
Brother Goodman has spoken at BYU Women’s Conference and at a BYU Devotional on the topic of seeking help during times of doubt. His counsel includes many gems and some of the key take-aways are:  help those who doubt to find answers through proper preparation (reading essays on LDS.org, etc.), recognize the extreme fear being experienced by the doubter as their entire belief system is crumbling.
Questions and Points Addressed:

How can we include those who doubt or have questions? First, create an environment of love and safety. We are all experiencing the gospel at our own pace and in our own way so steer toward a common ground and work from there.
How do we build a safe environment? Ask those who may threaten safety to help you create it. Make sure everyone knows that you do not fear questions.
What are the dangers of doubt? We tend to go to extremes and villainize or lionize doubt--both are hurtful. Doubt can be either beneficial or harmful. If the object of the doubt is false, doubt can be helpful. If the object of the doubt is true then doubt is typically more harmful. Either way, doubt is part of the belief spectrum and needs to be understood (doubt → hope → belief). Doubt does have consequences.
Does a change in policy mean that the policy was wrong? Change does not equate to error. Just because something has changed does not mean that it was wrong before and is now right. If you want to know something is a doctrine, check for these three things and the likelihood the thing is doctrine is higher:

Is it eternal (unchanged from dispensation to dispensation)?
Is it being taught by a united First Presidency and Quorum of Twelve Apostles?
Is it have to do with our salvation?



Great Quotes and Notes:

“People don’t grow if they don’t have hope...which is the gospel of Jesus Christ.”
“People want to help.”
“You can’t solve a problem you aren’t aware of.”
An admonition to believe is not an attempt to make those who doubt to feel guilty.
“Belief and doubt are living attitudes, and involve conduct on our part. Our only way, for example, of doubting, or refusing to believe, that a certain thing is, is continuing to act as if it were not.” -William James
“One of the surest ways of creating doubt in current prophets is to judge past prophets as having been in error.”
We follow living prophets because God is infallible and He is using the imperfect prophet to accomplish His work.
Heavenly Father wants us to use our agency. He wants us to learn truth and He is THE source of all truth and we need to involve Him in finding that truth.

Links:
BYU Speeches: Become a Seeker: The Way, the Truth, and the Life

BYU Devotional: "The Truth Shall Make You Free"

BYU: Bio - Michael Goodman

Daily Universe: BYU religion teacher’...]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:15:00
#GivingTuesday 2016 https://leadingsaints.org/givingtuesday-2016/ Tue, 29 Nov 2016 17:17:49 +0000 http://leadingsaints.org/?p=29293 Giving Tuesday is an opportunity to give back after a long weekend of Black Friday deals and Cyber Monday steals. The holidays are an exciting time and there are many loved ones finding the perfect gift for you. But on #GivingTuesday, you have the opportunity to give back to a cause you believe in. At Leading Saints we encourage you to consider the many ways you can serve those around you and possibly contribute to a non-profit organization. Giving Tuesday is an opportunity to give back after a long weekend of Black Friday deals and Cyber Monday steals. The holidays are an exciting time and there are many loved ones finding the perfect gift for you. But on #GivingTuesday,
There are many valiant non-profit organizations that are digging wells, providing clean water, or helping the homeless. But in a time when society puts too much weight on who is leading our country and doesn't consider the local lay leaders we interact with on a daily or weekly basis. If we want to change the world we must start with the leadership closest to us. For this reason Leading Saints was created; to enhance the lay leadership ability of those asked to lead beyond their capacity. Those asked to handle situations beyond their communications skills. Those that feel alone because they were asked to lead, but they don't know where to start.

On this #GivingTuesday we ask you to help us with our mission in making leadership possible for those not prepared to lead. If we enhance our local leadership, our society is more likely to succeed, and if we all succeed we can then help those around the world needing so much more. It all begins with LEADERSHIP.



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Leading Saints clean 5:30
Home Teaching During Tragedy | The Story Behind Elder Holland’s #LDSconf Talk https://leadingsaints.org/home-teaching-during-tragedy-the-story-behind-elder-hollands-ldsconf-talk/ Tue, 22 Nov 2016 13:00:29 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3989 In October 2016 General Conference, Elder Holland told a story about the tragic death of Troy Russell's son, Austen, and how he was helped out of despair by a "home teacher extraordinaire," John Manning. In this interview we talk with Troy and John as they give more background to the story and the tender mercies that the Lord bestowed upon the Russell family and their surrounding community. Troy shares how it was ward leaders, ward friends, and community that didn't know what to do, but still showed love to their family, that really made the different and helped them through this tragic time in their life. John Manning talks about the friendship that was established long before the the passing of Austen that made it possible to be there for John as his home teacher, but most importantly, as his friend. The early morning basketball games gave Troy something to do and to get active again. Now the basketball group wears a jerseys that proudly displays Austen's logo in his memory. The Christlike love and service that came out of this story has truly honored Austen and will inspire all that listen to truly minister. The transcript of this episode is available below. Links: In Loving Memory of Austen Russell Facebook Page Emissaries to the Church, by Elder Holland Lessons Learned at Liberty Jail, by Elder Holland "Remember Lot's Wife": Faith is for the Future, by Elder Holland Interview Transcription Leading Saints (LS): We are talking with, Troy Russell and John Manning. How are you Troy and John? Troy: Good! Thank you. John: Great! Thank you. LS: Great, now, as we will talk about in this episode, John, you are actually Troy's home teacher and so this may be the first recorded home teaching appointment ever in the Church. John: Yeah, it's getting close to the end of the month so I figured I'd come down anyway. LS: Yeah, you know, I got to encourage you to get over to Troy's house and do an interview and we'll call it as your home teaching visit. [laughter] I'm joking, of course. ... Many people will be familiar with your story, Troy, and in which John played a role in and definitely a story we heard in Conference and that we were touched by as Elder Holland talked about it and shared that story about home teaching but also the story, Troy, of the tragic passing of your son Austen and we'll get into those details but before we jump into that story and how that Conference talk came to be, Troy, let's start with you and maybe just give us a background of who you are, where you live, what you do for a living. What do we need to know about you Troy? Troy: Well I was born in Ohio, my dad was in the Air Force, and so every 3-4 years of my childhood we would move and I spent most of my high school years and half my middle school years in Mesa, Arizona where I attended Mountain View High School there and went up to Ricks for a year and then I served a mission in Perth, Australia and came home to Utah where my dad and stepmom had moved while I was out of high school and went to Weber State where I met my wife, Deedra. She played soccer there for 5 years and then when we both graduated we went to Portland Oregon where I went to chiropractic school there and ended up here in Henderson, Nevada. I've been working as a chiropractor since 2002 here. LS: How long have you lived in that ward that you are currently in? 09:07 Troy: We moved into this house about a month or two after Austen was born, and now it has been about 10 years. nwo the ward has changed a few times through boundary changes, but we have been in the same house a little over 10 years. 10:26 LS: John, what about you? What led you to Henderson? John: I graduated from BYU, got a Masters at Utah State and back then there were lots of good jobs in Las Vegas so I came down in '97 and housing was very affordable. I'm a civil engineer and there's a lot of work here. Yeah, In October 2016 General Conference, Elder Holland told a story about the tragic death of Troy Russell's son, Austen, and how he was helped out of despair by a "home teacher extraordinaire," John Manning. - In October 2016 General Conference, Elder Holland told a story about the tragic death of Troy Russell's son, Austen, and how he was helped out of despair by a "home teacher extraordinaire," John Manning.<br /> <br /> In this interview we talk with Troy and John as they give more background to the story and the tender mercies that the Lord bestowed upon the Russell family and their surrounding community. Troy shares how it was ward leaders, ward friends, and community that didn't know what to do, but still showed love to their family, that really made the different and helped them through this tragic time in their life.<br /> <br /> John Manning talks about the friendship that was established long before the the passing of Austen that made it possible to be there for John as his home teacher, but most importantly, as his friend. The early morning basketball games gave Troy something to do and to get active again. Now the basketball group wears a jerseys that proudly displays Austen's logo in his memory.<br /> <br /> The Christlike love and service that came out of this story has truly honored Austen and will inspire all that listen to be a true home or visiting teacher.<br /> <br /> Transcript available. Leading Saints clean 1:07:54 Building Bridges Before Baptisms | How I Lead as Stake Public Affairs Specialist https://leadingsaints.org/building-bridges-before-baptisms-how-i-lead-as-stake-public-affairs-specialist/ Sat, 19 Nov 2016 13:00:58 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3975 Kyle Morey is from Indianapolis Indiana and served as his stake's public affairs representative during the open house and dedication of the Indianapolis Indiana temple. He also recently wrote the book Ask God: My 30-Day Experiment with Prayer and Its Potential to Answer Yours. Kyle and his family of 7 are currently in Omaha, Nebraska as they travel and tour on a 3 year personal service mission. Kyle Morey is from Indianapolis Indiana and served as his stake's public affairs representative during the open house and dedication of the Indianapolis Indiana temple. He also recently wrote the book Ask God: My 30-Day Experiment with Prayer and Its P... Ask God: My 30-Day Experiment with Prayer and Its Potential to Answer Yours
. Kyle and his family of 7 are currently in Omaha, Nebraska as they travel and tour on a 3 year personal service mission.
Episode Highlights
This episode explores the calling of stake public affairs representative and Kyle's experience in that calling.

* Kyle's book- Ask God: My 30-Day Experiment with Prayer and Its Potential to Answer Yours (8:45)
* Public affairs in the LDS Church Handbook (14:15)
* LDS public affairs in Utah (15:00)
* Focusing on building bridges instead of baptizing Connecting with community leaders to give them a positive opinion of our church and sharing that Mormons are all about Christ How Kyle Morey was called as public affairs representative (17:00)
* Separating missionary work and public affairs (26:00)
* Public affairs during Joseph Smith's time (29:00)
* How public affairs helped defend the church during the building of the Indianapolis Indiana temple (31:30)
* Kyle's experiences as public relations representative during the open house of the Indianapolis Indiana temple (33:00)

Kyle's 5 Leaderships Principles (52:00)

* Prepare each day
* Be willing to be vulnerable
* Remain teachable
* Be patient and understanding
* Teach and lead more by what I do, not by what I say

Links:
Starting and Growing My Business (LDS Resource)

Ask God: My 30-Day Experiment with Prayer and Its Potential to Answer Yours

Kyle's Family Blog

The Power of Everyday Missionaries, by Clayton Christensen

The Power of Vulnerability (TED Talk)

How to Invite Others to Christ Using Your Digital Device

Geoff Thatcher Interview About Public Affairs

 ]]> Leading Saints clean 1:11:43 Learning Leadership from My Father | An Interview with Debbie Marriott Harrison https://leadingsaints.org/learning-leadership-from-my-father-an-interview-with-debbie-marriott-harrison/ Tue, 15 Nov 2016 14:00:33 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3964 Debbie Marriott Harrison is currently the Global Culture Officer and a member of the Board of Directors for Marriott Hotels and is the daughter of J.W. Marriott Jr. She graduated from Brigham Young University with a major in History and a minor in French and is the mother of five children. She has served in numerous leadership callings, including more than 33 years in the Young Women program, as well as Stake Public Affairs director. She and her husband served as mission president of the Belgium Brussels Mission from 2000-2003. Upon her return, after more than 25 years as a stay-at-home mother, Sister Harrison re-entered the workforce working in the Government Affairs Department for Marriott Hotels. In this interview Sister Harrison discusses lessons she has learned from her professional career that she has applied in her church callings as well as ways church service has prepared her for and continues to help her succeed in the business world. How have callings or assignments in the church prepared her for success in the business world? (15:45) Learning to stand and speak or present to groups of people from an early age How to effectively run a meeting How to get along with people Learning at above all love and relationships of trust are key in both settings As a missionary, and then as a lobbyist, learning to listen to someone else’s point of view learning from rejection Lessons learned from her father, J.W. Marriott Jr (18:25) No job is worth sacrificing your health Be fully committed Learn how to say no Experience builds resilience Human touch matters Human Touch Matters (20:10) We must have a human touch and express compassion to those whom we serve Number one leadership quality is to be a good listener “What do you think?” – the four most important words, as learned from experience with President Eisenhower Learning How to Say No (22:20) Realize we can’t be everywhere and everything to everybody all at once We should take joy in what you’re doing and be present in the moment Must step back and take stock of our lives to examine if we are in balance Must occasionally so no and we shouldn’t feel guilty about it When we overextend and are out of balance we risk burnout Focus on the Individual (24:45) Love the people you work with and serve Pray over them by name and get to know them individually When they know you care about them they will do anything for you Second important key is to have fun with them rather than only serving out of duty Help others to see the vision (30:30) Train, train, train – the church as numerous great training programs Know the limitations of people and do your best to help them Is it a good fit? Is it something that’s going to help this person perform? Sometimes they just don’t know how to do it. Once they do, they become motivated to do it How Sister Harrison feels leadership callings have made her a better disciple of Jesus Christ (33:00) “Do I really believe in this?” Through our service and our love toward those whom we serve we come to better emmulate the Savior We learn Christ-like characteristics as we serve and support one another despite our weaknesses and we try not to judge Additional Links: What This Working Daughter Learned from her Working Father by Debbie Marriott Harrison Without Reservations by J.W. (Bill) Marriott Jr. Debbie Marriott Harrison is currently the Global Culture Officer and a member of the Board of Directors for Marriott Hotels and is the daughter of J.W. Marriott Jr. She graduated from Brigham Young University with a major in History and a minor in Fren...
In this interview Sister Harrison discusses lessons she has learned from her professional career that she has applied in her church callings as well as ways church service has prepared her for and continues to help her succeed in the business world.
How have callings or assignments in the church prepared her for success in the business world? (15:45)

* Learning to stand and speak or present to groups of people from an early age
* How to effectively run a meeting
* How to get along with people
* Learning at above all love and relationships of trust are key in both settings
* As a missionary, and then as a lobbyist, learning to listen to someone else’s point of view learning from rejection

Lessons learned from her father, J.W. Marriott Jr (18:25)

* No job is worth sacrificing your health
* Be fully committed
* Learn how to say no
* Experience builds resilience
* Human touch matters

Human Touch Matters (20:10)

* We must have a human touch and express compassion to those whom we serve
* Number one leadership quality is to be a good listener
* “What do you think?” – the four most important words, as learned from experience with President Eisenhower

Learning How to Say No (22:20)

* Realize we can’t be everywhere and everything to everybody all at once
* We should take joy in what you’re doing and be present in the moment
* Must step back and take stock of our lives to examine if we are in balance
* Must occasionally so no and we shouldn’t feel guilty about it
* When we overextend and are out of balance we risk burnout

Focus on the Individual (24:45)

* Love the people you work with and serve
* Pray over them by name and get to know them individually
* When they know you care about them they will do anything for you
* Second important key is to have fun with them rather than only serving out of duty

Help others to see the vision (30:30)

* Train, train, train – the church as numerous great training programs
* Know the limitations of people and do your best to help them
* Is it a good fit? Is it something that’s going to help this person perform?
* Sometimes they just don’t know how to do it. Once they do, they become motivated to do it

How Sister Harrison feels leadership callings have made her a better disciple of Jesus Christ (33:00)

* “Do I really believe in this?”
* Through our service and our love toward those whom we serve we come to better emmulate the Savior
* We learn Christ-like characteristics as we serve and support one another despite our weaknesses and we try not to judge

Additional Links:
What This Working Daughter Learned from her Working Father by Debbie Marriott Harrison

http://leadinglds.com/?p=3952 In this episode of the How I Lead segment, we head down to Austin, Texas to speak with Michelle Kaley. Michelle is from Southern California who is a mother of four and has been a dance instructor for over 22 years. If life isn't busy enough being a mother and working she is also serving as the young women president in her ward. In this episode of the How I Lead segment, we head down to Austin, Texas to speak with Michelle Kaley. Michelle is from Southern California who is a mother of four and has been a dance instructor for over 22 years. Michelle Kaley's Obituary to learn more about her remarkable life.


 


In this episode of the How I Lead segment, we head down to Austin, Texas to speak with Michelle Kaley. Michelle is from Southern California who is a mother of four and has been a dance instructor for over 22 years. If life isn't busy enough being a mother and working she is also serving as the young women president in her ward.

In her early teens Michelle was a victim of sexual abuse by multiple abusers. This lead to promiscuity, partying and being disfellowshipped before she was 16 years of age. She met her future husband at the age of 17 and introduced him to the Gospel. He was baptized soon after and they were eventually sealed in the temple for time and eternity.

Michelle's trials with sexual abuse did not end there. She was later raped by a coworker. Michelle's experiences with sexual abuse has given her a unique perspective in regards to the atonement and how to teach sexual purity to the youth of today. She discusses her approach to talking to her young women about the law of chastity and repentance and how bishops and other leaders can approach youth who might feel that their value and Virtue is lost or diminished.
5 PRINCIPLES OF LEADERSHIP

* Love them as he would, treat them as he would.
* Be a coach, not a boss.
* Teach them to lead.
* Make it about them.
* The gospel is designed for the individual.
* Always have a Plan B and C and D and maybe even an E.

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Leading Saints clean 56:49
How to Disagree as a Leader Without Making an Enemy | An Interview with Gary Rhoads https://leadingsaints.org/how-to-disagree-as-a-leader-without-making-an-enemy-an-interview-with-gary-rhoads/ Tue, 08 Nov 2016 14:00:29 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3945 Gary Rhoads grew up in Pocatello, Idaho and received his undergraduate degree and MBA from Idaho State University. He holds a PhD in Marketing from Texas Tech University. [audio mp3="http://s3.amazonaws.com/podcasts.leadinglds.com/2016/2016-10-24-Gary-Rhoads.mp3"][/audio] Gary Rhoads grew up in Pocatello, Idaho and received his undergraduate degree and MBA from Idaho State University. He holds a PhD in Marketing from Texas Tech University. [audio mp3="http://s3.amazonaws.com/podcasts.leadinglds.
Recently at BYU Education week Dr. Rhoads taught his Stop Think & Lead approach—teaching how to make a point without making an enemy. He's an expert in how to deal with critical situations and how to avoid conflict.

In this episode he shares his great knowledge how we as leaders (and even just people in any relationship) can best deal with conflict and not make enemies in the process.
Episode Highlights
Introduction to Stop Think & Lead approach (11:45)

3 types of people in conflict:

* Robotic- following the manual, stating the facts
* Pooh Bear- avoiding the situation
* Dish Out- makes a point but makes an enemy

Learn skills without having regrets (13:30)

Similar to diving certification- Stop Think Breathe (15:00)

Stop- don't react, do no harm- most people fail to do this Stopping tactic- acknowledge concern (17:00)

Think- What outcomes do I want? (17:30)

Lead- Take action
Examples of the Stop, Think, Lead Approach
Example 1: Bishop vs. Sister Stone (19:00)

There are multiple outcomes in situations (25:00)

U turn stopping tactic (28:40)

If you feel angry, say the kindest thing you can say.

Calming tactic (30:00)- This is how I see it...

Example 2: Conflict between husband and wife (33:00)

Keep walking and come back with a plan (41:00)

Help to a bishop dealing with conflict (43:00)

Tactic that works the best dealing with conflict in the church (45:00)

Example 3: Pinewood Derby conflict (46:00)

Example of U-turns (53:30)- truthful kind words help you gain back control
Links:
Stinkomojo Website]]>
Leading Saints clean 59:12
How I Lead in a “Singles Emphasis Ward” | An Interview with Lisa Gregory https://leadingsaints.org/how-i-lead-in-a-singles-emphasis-ward-an-interview-with-lisa-gregory/ Sat, 05 Nov 2016 13:00:21 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3932 Lisa Gregory currently serves as a Stake Young Women Secretary in the Washington D.C. area. She has previously served as a counselor in her ward Relief Society and Primary presidencies and served a mission in Japan. Lisa Gregory currently serves as a Stake Young Women Secretary in the Washington D.C. area. She has previously served as a counselor in her ward Relief Society and Primary presidencies and served a mission in Japan.
As a young single adult in the Church, Lisa spent time in Boston, Virginia, New York and Atlanta before returning to the Washington D.C. area. It was there that, now as a mid-single adult, she was called by her stake president to assist in organizing and serving as co-chair of the first mid-single adult program on the East coast; a calling she would serve in for nearly four years. In this interview Lisa shares her perspective on some of the struggles that single individuals in the church face and how her stake has worked to address those concerns, specifically among the mid-single adult population, by establishing a “Mid-Singles Emphasis Ward.”

In Lisa’s opinion, one of the most difficult aspects about being single in the church is judgment (16:30)

* Judgment of self – Is it me?
* Judgement from others
* Real judgment
* Perceived judgement

What leaders did to help Lisa and those that worked with her feel more connected to the family culture of the church in her calling working with other Mid-Single Adults (21:30)

* Leaders valued input. They didn’t assume to know what was best for singles in the stake.
* Stake leaders leaned on and expressed confidence in the Singles leadership that had been called.
* They listened to and followed input from the Singles leadership
* Made the focus on serving singles in the stake a partnership between the Singles leadership, the stake presidency and the Lord.

Structure and parameters of a Mid-Singles Emphasis Ward (24:30)

* One ward in the stake designated as the Mid-Singles Emphasis Ward
* Anyone in the stake between the designated ages can transfer their records into the Emphasis Ward (an existing normal family ward)
* If an individual transfers their records in they are expected to attend and be active in that ward
* Individuals must be willing to receive a calling and assignments (including home and visiting teaching assignments) in that ward
* A Mid-Singles Gospel Doctrine class is created but singles are fully integrated into Sacrament Meeting and Relief Society and Priesthood quorum meetings
* Separate Mid-Singles Activity committee (in addition to any ward-level activities committee)
* Once a month Saturday activity and once a month mid-week activities held (to accommodate singles who choose to remain in their home ward)
* Regional and multi-stake Mid-Single Adult conferences and institute classes also held

Leadership Principles

* Clear delegation – follow up and gratitude are critical for any leadership calling in the church (36:00)

* Other’s blessings can be “short-circuited” when we don’t allow them to serve and become involved
* Leaders are in danger of losing sight of the ministry of their calling when they overwhelm themselves taking on too much
* Leaders can help others develop as leaders as responsibilities are delegated to them
* By following up and holding individuals accountable we show them that their contributions matter
* Helping others see the vision and showing gratitude for their efforts is a key to this process


* Be clear with yourself and others around what the Lord is calling you...]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:01:34
Loving Our LGBT Brethren & Sisters | An Interview with Bishop Carl Hull https://leadingsaints.org/loving-our-lgbt-brethren-sisters-an-interview-with-bishop-carl-hull/ Tue, 01 Nov 2016 12:00:04 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3923 Carl Hull was raised in Heber City, UT and later attended high school in Orem and college at Brigham Young University in Provo, UT. He served a mission in Chile and currently serves as Bishop of a ward in Highland, Utah. Carl Hull was raised in Heber City, UT and later attended high school in Orem and college at Brigham Young University in Provo, UT. He served a mission in Chile and currently serves as Bishop of a ward in Highland, Utah. mormonandgay.lds.org

Carl Hull was raised in Heber City, UT and later attended high school in Orem and college at Brigham Young University in Provo, UT. He served a mission in Chile and currently serves as Bishop of a ward in Highland, Utah. Melody is from Carlsbad, California and has held many positions in the Church serving and loving others.

Carl’s journey of understanding started in 2014 when he was serving on the High Council in his stake and the Stake President arranged to have Joseph Stith speak about his experience with same-sex attraction. (Joseph is President of North Star and has been on Leading Saints previously—How to Support Transgender Members In Your LDS Ward and How to Support Gay Members In Your LDS Ward – Part 2.) Prior to this experience, Carl viewed those who identified as gay as “just plain evil” but during Joseph’s presentation Carl started to view him with compassion. As a result of this experience, Carl wrote a post on Ben Schilaty’s blog titled The Eyes of My Understanding Were Opened and created a presentation on loving and accepting those who struggle with SSA, which he gave to his ward—adults and youth separately—with the goal of creating greater openness and understanding.

Carl’s change of heart is one focused on loving others and founded on the teachings of the Savior and modern-day prophets and will help you to be a better, more loving disciple of Jesus Christ.
Links:
Mormon and Gay (LDS Church Sponsored)

North Star]]>
Leading Saints clean 53:18
Mentoring Relief Society Presidents Through Love | How I Lead: DeAnna Murphy https://leadingsaints.org/mentoring-relief-society-presidents-through-love-how-i-lead-deanna-murphy/ Sat, 29 Oct 2016 11:05:29 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3916 DeAnna Murphy serves as a Stake Relief Society President in Minneapolis, Minnesota. She also runs Strength Strategy where she consults businesses, coaches, and individuals. DeAnna Murphy serves as a Stake Relief Society President in Minneapolis, Minnesota. She also runs Strength Strategy where she consults businesses, coaches, and individuals. Strength Strategy where she consults businesses, coaches, and individuals. She was born in Provo, UT, but grew up in Canada. She met her husband at Ricks College, and had 3 children.

DeAnna shares a touching spiritual moment she had during General Conference a few months after giving birth to a daughter with spina bifida (9:14). She said “It helped her look forward rather than focusing on the challenges that were to come."

* United in hearts and mind: Looking forward, rather than seeing challenges and obstacles. “If ye are not one then ye are not mine.” How do we get everyone on the same page and get a 360 degree perspective. (13:30)
* Talk to leaders about where their strengths are, “Where is Zion happening here and now?” (16:00)
* “Stop looking at what’s wrong and focus on what is right, and how can we get more of it?” (16:55)
* Differently Imperfect: When we are authentic with others, and ourselves we can progress (18:15).
* Don’t judge. The first thing the Savior did is love. (21:45)
* As a Stake Relief Society President, “Here is why I’m here.” D&C 43:8-9 & 16 (23:15)
* Uplifted and edified together: Monthly One on One visits (24:19) to talk about many things including their personal life, and reviewed the questions “What has the Spirit taught you this month? What is working well and what keeps you up at night?”
* How to not start from a deficit point of view? (29:38)
* DeAnna's experience being called as the Stake Relief Society President (31:30)
* “If I love them, they will find their own way.” (36:08)
* We need to know who the leaders are (37:25)
* Finding direction and goal setting (41:27)
* Mosiah 4:11-12 Always rejoice and be filled with the love of God (53:24)

Links:
Wendy Ulrich Interview

Weakness is Not a Sin, By Wendy Ulrich

Strengths Strategy Website
Written Transcript
Kurt Francom (LS): Wow, that's impactful story and it's obvious why that stands out in your mind. So where is it that you live now? [00:11:00]

DeAnna: We are in Minneapolis, Minnesota and live in the Minneapolis, Minnesota stake in a suburb of Minneapolis.

LS: So you can't stay away from the Mall of America right? You just go whenever you can?

DeAnna: I'm never going to say that I have the shopping bug. Absolutely.

LS: Nice. Yeah, I always love. I've been at Minneapolis few times and I was just standing by the mall. You know, people from about the Mall of America and they always just sort of roll their eyes thinking, "Boy, if that thing went away. I don't think anybody would complain." So how many kids do you have?

DeAnna: We have three children and they're all grown. Our disabled daughter is our second child, and we have two sons, one on either side.

LS: Wow.

DeAnna: So beautiful family. We love them very much.

LS: That's awesome.

DeAnna: Again, probably both of us came from large families, we probably would have had a larger family. Although the disability that our daughter has is in both of our families. We both have siblings with it and my mother had siblings with it. We had a 50% chance going forward. [00:12:00] And so, this wasn't in the cards for us to have a big family.

LS: Yeah, wow.

DeAnna: Although we've raised nieces and nephews and had opportunities in ...]]>
Leading Saints clean 1:17:13
What I Learned About Leadership When My 2nd Counselor Left the Church https://leadingsaints.org/what-i-learned-about-leadership-when-my-2nd-counselor-left-the-church/ Tue, 25 Oct 2016 11:45:36 +0000 http://leadinglds.com/?p=3902 In August of 2015 I was released as bishop, but my second counselor didn't show up to be release. I was concerned about what he was going through. In August of 2015 I was released as bishop, but my second counselor didn't show up to be release. I was concerned about what he was going through. .
Thankfully my friendship with Heath has continued. We have had many uplifting conversations over lunch. These discussions were so uplifting that Heath suggested I interview him for my podcast. He was mainly joking, but I liked the idea. It turned out to be a special experience for me. I have learned so much about faith and testimony, and what leaders need to be aware of when members in their ward doubt.
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I strongly encourage you to listen to the episode above and then share it with a leader and a friend.
Episode Summary
Heath is an immigration attorney in Salt Lake City, UT. He completed his undergraduate work at Brigham Young University-Idaho before graduating from the J. Reuben Clark Law School at Brigham Young University. He became active in the LDS Church as a Junior in high school and later served a mission to Ecuador. He has served as Elders Quorum President and most recently as Second Counselor in the bishopric when Kurt (podcast host) served as bishop. He, his wife and their three kids stopped attending church the day the bishopric was dissolved and in June 2016 chose to remove their names from church records.
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In this podcast Heath tells his story of the doubts he had, his struggles with uncertainty, the day he finally got an answer and how he has begun to feel more at peace since discovering others like him who are struggling with similar issues but who believe in the church and are still able to serve.
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Kurt also explores one of the most difficult questions facing leaders in the church: How to encourage individuals who are struggling in their faith—in their quest for certainty—without discouraging them or putting too much pressure on them to get there?
Podcast Summary with time marks (Transcript Available Below):

* Began to have concerns about certain aspects of church history in 2006 as a student at BYU-I (8:30)
* Began reading Rough Stone Rolling, a biography of Joseph Smith by author Richard Bushman