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This is Part 2 of a 2-part podcast. Listen to Part 1 HERE.
Sara Newman
Sara Newman currently serves as a member of her ward’s Relief Society service committee in whatever capacity is needed. She earned her bachelor’s degree in Family Science from Brigham Young University and enjoyed raising five children with her husband. She anticipates “retiring” soon, once her youngest is launched, and is enjoying her new role as a grandmother. She has lived in four states, served as Relief Society president in three different wards, and as Relief Society counselor, pianist, chorister, Cub Scout leader, Primary teacher and counselor, Relief Society teacher, and Gospel Doctrine teacher.
Highlights
0:15 Sara speaks on being released from as Relief Society president earlier than she expected.
3:30 “I cried when I got the calling; I cried when I got released. I was surprised by it.”
5:30 Something for leaders to think about is giving leaders more time to transition when a release is coming. It can be very jarring to have a calling and the next day nothing.
6:50 There was no excitement or relief getting released. Just devastation. Sara shares the reasons why she felt so hurt when released.
9:30 Part of the devastation was loneliness and loss of the community she was a part of. Also, not feeling like she was doing a good enough job.
12:30 Looking back Sara can say the time was right to get released because of health challenges that happened. She can see the Lord’s timing but at the moment it was very hard.
13:30 The first weeks after getting released were the hardest.
16:50 The bishopric and other ward council members had a small gathering to thank Sara for her service. It helped her have some closure.
19:20 Sara’s encouragement to other leaders that are also going through a transition after getting released
Darren Bush
Darren Bush is a husband, father, and paddler who advocates outdoor activities to feel the Spirit. Darren served a mission to southern Italy, met his wife, Stephanie, at Brigham Young University, and completed degrees in Italian and Psychology at University of Wisconsin–Madison after discovering it was the best place in the world. After completing a master’s degree at the University of Rochester the family moved back to Wisconsin where he eventually bought Rutabaga Paddlesports. He has previously served as a bishop, Primary teacher and nursery leader, elders quorum and Young Men president, ward missionary, high councilor, in a young single adult bishopric, and as an executive secretary and financial clerk.
Highlights
20:11 Darren Bush, recently-released bishop
22:30 The relationships that were built over the past five years as bishop were gone.
24:00 The day Darren got released made him feel lighter. He didn’t realize how much weight he was holding. However, it was still hard. Missing the people and seeing people’s faces.
26:30 The lost puppy phase after getting released
30:00 Advice Darren was given from his uncle, a former bishop. “Don’t go inactive.”
33:00 We need to separate our personal identity from our calling in the ward.
35:15 Combating loneliness after being bishop
40:45 Darren’s encouragement to the former leader that is fighting loneliness
Julie Kiser
Julie Kiser is a graduate of Brigham Young University and currently works part-time as a professional organizer and as a part-time administrative assistant to her husband and his financial advising firm. She currently serves as a special needs mutual advisor and a Gospel Doctrine teacher. Past callings include stake YSA Relief Society president, YSA Relief Society advisor, counselor in Young Women, Primary, and Relief Society presidencies, Primary teacher, Young Women advisor and compassionate service leader. Julie has been married for 37 years and has five children. She loves spending time with her husband and family, reading, long walks with friends, traveling, hiking, cooking and baking, and lots of time with her grandchildren.
Highlights
41:30 Julie’s leadership experience
45:30 Julie’s experience as stake Relief Society president of the YSA wards and getting released before she expected. Working so hard and feeling like she got cut short.
55:00 I have so much to offer but for what? When callings get taken away you wonder what to do next.
57:30 You have to find ways to serve outside church callings.
59:40 The first Sunday after getting released. Because Julie was in a YSA ward she had to disappear and go back to a family ward. She felt cut off from the people that she had spent so much time with.
1:01:30 Relationships you have with people change when you get released from callings. That’s one of the saddest parts of getting released.
1:04:15 Going to a brand new ward and feeling like a guest instead of a member
1:06:00 The things Julie misses about her leadership roles
1:08:15 What Julie has learned from her experience. While going to church is important, her relationship with the Savior has gotten her through everything.
Links
Listen to Part 1 of this podcast
How I Lead as Bishop | An Interview with Darren Bush
Read the TRANSCRIPT of this podcast
Watch on YouTube
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This podcast topic really hit home for me. It has been 18 months since I was released as the bishop after serving just over 5 years. I had no idea it would be so hard to adjust to not being the bishop. One week after I was released our stake was disbanded and our ward boundaries were changed. We didn’t lose any members in the change but picked up members from parts of two different wards, plus we were put in a different stake.
So half the ward didn’t know just the week before I had been the bishop, so to them, I was just another body filling the pew. Plus no one knew me in the new stake either. It’s not like I needed to be recognized by the new members, but part of me desired them to know I used to be somebody.
Because there were so many more members now in our ward, callings came slowly. I didn’t receive a new calling for 4 months. I struggled to stay at church after Sacrament meeting and actually struggled going at all. I had to have a serious conversation with myself about why I was attending church. I have had callings for the last 20ish years that required I be at church. My new calling didn’t require my church attendance, so I had to ask myself if I had been going to church all this time because I had to or because I wanted to. After some weeks of really pondering this question, I decided I really was going because I wanted to.
There are so many things I don’t miss about being the bishop, but at the same time, there are many things I miss. I miss the relationships with my bishopric and spending time with the young men. And to be honest, I really miss having access to information in Tools!
Each day gets better and my current calling is serving with my wife as ward missionaries, so it is nice to serve together after all these years of us both going our separate ways with our callings.
Kurt. I listen to the the Leading Saints podcast as I’m walking each morning. Thank you for your insights on different topics to us as leaders and just members of the church. Sadly I didn’t know this podcast was available when I was called as the Stake RS President. I think back now as I listen wow if I would have known this I would have done things little differently.
Today podcasts brought back lots of emotions and feelings when I was released several years ago. I think we all know that we do not own the calling we are called to as it belongs to the lord and we are called to facilitate that responsibility. That being said it does not minimize our sadness and loneliness when the release is extended. When my husband was released suddenly from being the Branch President in our Military Branch in Okinawa Japan both of us were devastated. The Mission President came and talked to us about the release. I thought his analogy perfectly described exactly how we both felt.
When we are called to a position of leadership, you are put on a bike and for several years you going on this bike at breakneck speed. All of a sudden someone comes along and put a stick in the spokes and says. It’s time to get off the bike as it’s someone else turn. Reluctantly you get off standing there alone as someone else get on the bike and takes off without you. As you stand there watching the bike leaving without you, are still holding on with all of the emotions and feelings you had when you were on the bike. Wondering how do I manage this now. Sometimes is comes with a relief but more often than not it’s really hard to watch the bike leave.
We all know when a calling is extended there is and will be a release extending as well.
President Hinkley said a loneliness of leadership. I feel there is also a loneliness of release
Thanks for letting me share my thought on today’s podcast.
The wisdom you can gain because of your life experiences, spiritual experiences, callings experiences and learning from others is invaluable. Who are we storing up this wisdom for?
When we are ” put out to pasture” …. it can seem as though most is wasted. We want and need to share but sadly many times there are very few opportunities to do this.
I ask my Saviour to place people on my path so I can share a little part of what is inside of me. Many times those placed on my path are non members.
The emptiness we can feel inside can be so hard to deal with. Sometimes we feel like we are ” over the hill” and find it hard to find our purpose. Just wish we could share our wisdom more. I am so grateful that I KNOW my Saviour is right by my side and holds me up.
I have to give credit to my new stake president, who provided me with months of notice about the upcoming change. He also asked for insights and feedback on topics related to the transition, which was greatly appreciated.
While most commenters respond to how they felt after their release, having listened to your podcasts allowed me to be more intentional in helping the bishopric and our wives prepare for the end of our service together. We were able to spend an overnight together in a cabin, celebrating our journey and discussing our experiences. Additionally, we organized a ward devotional where the bishopric and our wives shared their testimonies—who played a huge role in nurturing and supporting the YSAs—could reflect and share. Their contributions have been invaluable, and they will feel this transition acutely.
As a bishop for just a few more hours, I can reflect on how my actions aimed to avoid the mistakes I encountered from others in leadership roles. I implemented important changes to how I served. I believe that by learning from our different experiences of being released, we can all do things better and more intentionally, ultimately preparing people more effectively for their transitions.