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David Durfey’s 39-year career with Seminaries and Institutes has included serving as a teacher for 12 years, as a region and area director, and director of the Institute at Utah Valley University. In the Church he has served as branch president of the Missionary Training Center in Provo, bishop, counselor in multiple stake presidencies, and as a patriarch. 
Highlights
02:00 Introduction to David Durfey 06:00 David designed an institute course on repentance and forgiveness. He tells the story of working with Elder Andersen to write the book, The Divine Gift of Forgiveness. 11:50 Repentance is NOT punishment, penalty, or payment for sin. David talks about how the meaning and translation of the word repent got misinterpreted. 13:50 While there can be pain in repentance, that pain is not repentance. The cause of the pain is the sin not the repentance. Repentance is not the suffering; it relieves the suffering. 15:50 Jesus Christ has already suffered for the sin but you will suffer because of the sin. 16:30 Repentance is not a checklist or a change of behavior. An atheist can change their behavior but that’s not repentance. Repentance has to be through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. 18:30 Repentance and forgiveness is not through the Church. The Church can guide us through the process but repentance and forgiveness come solely through Jesus Christ. 19:15 Confession is not repentance. 20:10 David explains why repentance is not through the Church. 21:40 Repentance is a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. Repentance is not turning from sin but turning to Jesus Christ and beginning to live a Christlike life. 22:45 Sin hurts, not repentance. How do we shift the shame of repentance to a more hopeful outlook? It all starts with understanding the power of the Atonement. 25:00 Stopping the behavior is not going to heal the past. It has to be through Jesus Christ. 25:55 The key to repentance is first understanding the fall of Adam and Eve and that we are all sinners. 28:10 David paraphrases the words of Boyd K. Packer. The root of Christian doctrine is the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Any other doctrine or teaching in the Church that does not touch that root is dead. We deal a lot with the leaves and branches in the Church but we aren’t getting down to the root. 29:30 Any time we see the word “doctrines” in the scriptures it’s always negative. For example, the doctrines of men. There is only ONE doctrine. That is the doctrine of Jesus Christ. 30:15 David tells about one of the most impactful experiences of his life. He was a young father serving as branch president at the missionary training center and President Packer came to speak. The main points of the talk were:
- You won’t be judged on how many baptisms you get. Your success will be determined by what kind of parents and grandparents you are.
- Focus less on teaching commandments and more on teaching the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Every teaching has to be focused on Jesus Christ.
33:00 The story of Mary and Martha. The one needful thing is to know Jesus Christ. 36:30 How can we be better at focusing on Christ in our Sunday meetings and in our daily lives? David Shares D&C 6:34-37 and explains how. 43:20 Learning to forgive ourselves. If Jesus isn’t going to condemn me then who am I to condemn me? We can’t condemn anyone, even ourselves. 45:30 D&C 19. This scripture says that we will suffer but not for our sins. We are not capable of suffering for our own sins. 47:30 Quoting Elder Andersen’s book, “If we worry whether we have paid back or suffered enough for our sins it will impede our ability to repent and feel forgiven, bringing painful discouragement with it.” 48:00 Advice to a bishop helping someone through repentance. A bishop’s number one priority should be helping that individual come unto Christ and accessing the Atonement. 52:20 Not being able to participate in ordinances, such as the Sacrament, is not a punishment. It’s a protection to that individual. 54:45 The role of the priesthood leader is to help individuals access the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, not just for the past but for the future. 55:50 Why do certain individuals need to be withdrawn from the Church if they have repented and been forgiven? 58:20 The Lord wants us to repent speedily. It doesn’t have to be long and drawn out in most situations. 59:00 Q: How can I know when I’m forgiven? A: “When you feel the Holy Ghost in your life, you know the Atonement is doing its work.”—President Henry B. Eyring. “The Holy Ghost is the messenger and the administrator of the Atonement of Jesus Christ in our lives.”—D. Todd Christofferson 1:02:00 A step that a lot of individuals and bishops miss is faith in Jesus Christ and what that really means. 1:05:30 To the person seeking more faith in Jesus Christ. Study Lectures on Faith.
- Know the basic things about Jesus, such as his life, teachings, and Atonement.
- Know the character, perfections, and attributes of Jesus Christ.
- Know that the course of life that you are leading is pleasing to God and is His will.
1:10:00 The key to being a better leader is being a better follower of Christ.
Links
The Divine Gift of Forgiveness, by Neil L. Andersen Considering the Cross: How Calvary Connects Us with Christ, by John Hilton III Teacher Material: The Divine Gift of Forgiveness Video collection: The Divine Gift of Forgiveness Podcast: Redeemed Through His Blood Art: Jesus and the Woman Taken, by Kathleen Peterson Listen on YouTube Read the TRANSCRIPT of this podcast Get 14-day access to the Core Leader Library
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I think there are still some very misunderstood ideas about repentance here that need to be delved into.
For one, repentance is ONLY a continuous process because you are not going to be forgiven of ALL sins in one. There are still other things we need to forgive ourselves of through the atonement. Otherwise repentance is a single event that shows forth many blessings that last for a long time (over a year and a half in my personal life now)
2. Repentance is NOT something the church can “Help” us with. The role of a bishop is important, not because he has power to effect change, but that he is in a position related to the atonements requirement of confessing sins. If we are not ready to stop finding our own solutions to our problems, which is the ONLY way we find repentance, then it isn’t helpful, but harmful, to see the bishop for purposes of confession. He is the LAST stop… NOT the first. These are the things we are supposed to be taught and supported on in our elders quorum or Relief Society.
And 3…What does repentance LOOK like.
By this you may know that a man has repented…His HEART will have changed!!!
I am NOT the only one who has had a changed heart. But we NEVER speak of it in the church.
WHY NOT?
There is no singular event of “You’re forgiven of your sins” in the gift of repentance. It’s a very large BAG of blessings that you get WHEN you repent…not BECAUSE you repented.
I am SO happy that we can at least start the conversation in a positive direction about what Repentance is NOT.
But even this talk speaks very little and very vaguely about what repentance IS.
and it is an AMAZING thing to receive.
and because of repentance, we desire ALL to receive it.
This is an excellent interview. I agree with everything that was said and hope more people can be blessed with understanding repentance in this way. Kurt Francom is a master at asking questions that pull out the golden nuggets from the guest, questions that must be on people’s minds as they contemplate the material presented.
Brother Durfey was my seminary teacher all through high school. He is one of the best. He helped me in so many ways! Just hearing this voice put a smile on my face. Thank you for having him on your podcast.
This was shared with me and I loved it! So many things that I didn’t fully understand, but now I do. As I was listening at one point I found myself with tears streaming down my face, the spirit was so strong and at that moment I understood how much my Savior loves me and knows me. Thank you for this!
One of the most insightful and inspiring conversations on repentance and forgiveness I have ever heard. I am printing this out and dissecting it line by line because, after having listened to it six times now, I just can’t keep up with the truths being presented.
Thank you, Kurt and thank you, David, for facilitating the Spirit in my life through your precise and impactful message.
I have searched and searched for a reference that I’ve heard Brother Durfey use in several different occasions: If we don’t do a better job teaching the Atonement of Jesus Christ than we do about keeping the commandments, we’re going to lose our children, because they aren’t going to keep the commandments.” I’d love to have the exact quote if anyone knows how to find it or has a reference for it! Thanks!