The Silent Burdens of Men in Elders Quorum | An Interview with Joe Speredon

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Hailing from the heart of Utah, Joe Speredon’s diverse background and experience led him into leadership within men’s work. Having embarked on his own path of crisis and self-discovery, Joe discovered the healing nature of brotherhood and masculine support. From that place he founded the Utah Men’s Circle and later the Algiz Guard. Working with Sacred Sons and many other influential leaders and groups, Joe has had the opportunity to travel all over the world, meet men from diverse backgrounds, and guide them through their own healing and evolution as a coach, leader and inspirational speaker. Joe currently serves in the Church as a Sunday School teacher and as a stake emergency preparedness specialist.

Links

UtahMensCircle.com Instagram: @utahmenscircle Facebook: Utah Men’s Circle AlgizGuard.com Instagram: @thealgizguard Facebook: The Algiz Guard The Intentional Father: A Practical Guide to Raise Sons of Courage and Character There is already a discussion started about this podcast. Share your thoughts here.

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Highlights

1:40 Introduction to Joe Speredon and his background 4:20 Joe shares why mens work is so important to him and how he got started in it. 6:00 Too many men are suffering in silence. However, when men open up they will find that they are suffering with the same things. 8:00 We have the engine (elders quorum) but we don’t know how to turn it on. We need men to be courageous enough to open up during elders quorum. 10:00 What is brotherhood? We’ve had a cultural shift that the cool thing is to be a lone wolf. Men think they have to do it all and do it alone. 14:30 The war that we fight is mostly against ourselves. The idea of brotherhood is it’s me against myself and having brothers to help us be the best version of ourselves. 15:30 How can an elders quorum president stimulate brotherhood in Sunday meetings?

Take off your own mask as the leader. Be open with your struggles.
Be the first to be vulnerable and authentic and others will follow.

17:30 Joe created the Utah Men’s Circle, a gathering twice a month for a couple hours, a time to check in and talk about how you are really feeling. 21:40 Have less formal gatherings and activities to connect and have conversations. 23:00 Doing men’s work outside of elders quorum. We need to create a place for active and inactive members to connect without preaching. 26:00 The vilification of men and toxic masculinity 30:30 Due to wounding and conditioning and because they are mortal, men can turn into:

The sadist, meaning I’m going to hurt you before you hurt me
The masochist, meaning I’m going to hurt me before you can hurt me

32:00 To become more realigned is more than just getting your behaviors in check. You have to know where you are going and why you are doing it. 33:50 An archetype that gets thrown around a lot and is related to toxic masculinity is “king”. We can have a reframing of the word king by doing self work. 36:40 As a society we have lost a lot of rights of passage for young men. We need to be giving young men opportunities to set up from boyhood to manhood. 40:10 Resources for fathers and men to find ways to step up and change. 42:10 Unrighteous dominion is another way to say toxic masculinity. What exactly is unrighteous dominion? 43:20 We are teaching young men that what you do is not so much the problem but it’s about how everyone else feels about what you are doing. Instead, we need to help them focus on WHY they did what they did. 47:40 Joe wasn’t called to do men’s circle or help men but he reminds us that we don’t have to be commanded in all things and we should be anxiously engaged in good causes.

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Past guests include Emily Belle Freeman, David Butler, Hank Smith, John Bytheway, Reyna and Elena Aburto, Liz Wiseman, Stephen M. R. Covey, Julie Beck, Brad Wilcox, Jody Moore, Tony Overbay, John H. Groberg, Elaine Dalton, Tad R. Callister, Lynn G. Robbins, J. Devn Cornish, Bonnie Oscarson, Dennis B. Neuenschwander, Anthony Sweat, John Hilton III, Barbara Morgan Gardner, Blair Hodges, Whitney Johnson, Ryan Gottfredson, Greg McKeown, Ganel-Lyn Condie, Michael Goodman, Wendy Ulrich, Richard Ostler, and many more in over 700 episodes.