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Bennett and Becky Borden are a married couple who both experience same-sex attraction and who were both in same-sex marriages and relationships for many years prior to returning to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and prior to their marriage to each other. Bennett and Becky both grew up in the South in active LDS families. They met about 28 years ago when Bennett was a young man and served his mission in Becky’s ward. Bennett became close with Becky’s family and over they years they have remained friends. In their early 20s, both Bennett and Becky came out as gay, left the Church and went on to live a gay lifestyle for many years. After many years away they each decided separately they wanted to come back to the Church. They met up at Becky’s family reunion and knew they should get married. They returned to church attendance, were married, and after a time had their blessings restored and were sealed in the temple. A lot can be learned and gained from their amazing story, their relationships, their faith transitions, their interactions with family and church leaders, and their spiritual experiences.
- 3:15 Bennett’s upbringing
- 5:00 Becky’s upbringing
- 7:30 Bennett’s close relationship with Becky’s family
- 8:00 After his mission, Bennett’s first marriage to a woman
- 9:30 Bennett lives a gay lifestyle and stops going to church
- 10:30 Becky’s journey coming out as gay
- 13:30 Their relationships with God as they left the church and lived the gay lifestyle
- 14:30 Bennett’s experience studying other religions
- 16:00 Becky’s experience joining several other churches
- 18:00 What can we learn from our crises of faith?
- 19:00 Every relationship has goodness to them
- 20:30 “The light and love of God shines everywhere”/Growth can happen even as we are lost
- 22:00 Becky’s excommunication and the blessing of it
- 24:30 The thing that brought them back to the gospel
- 26:00 Bennett’s same sex relationship and what brought him back
- 28:20 Becky and where she was as Bennett’s relationship ended
- 31:00 Leaders and family members and how they reached out to Bennett and Becky while they were living a gay lifestyle
- 34:00 Love within church disciplinary councils
- 35:30 Bennett and Becky’s friendship as they came back to the church
- 44:00 How to reconcile thoughts of going back to the church with being gay
- 45:00 Reading the scriptures assuming it’s all true
- 48:00 Bennett and Becky decision to get married
- 50:00 Becky’s experience meeting with her bishop to discuss coming back to church
- 53:20 Bennett’s experience meeting with his bishop to discuss coming back to church
- 56:15 How Satan worked to keep them from coming back
- 57:00 Their marriage by a bishop in Washington D.C.
- 58:45 Bennett’s ex-husband Richard joined the church
- 1:02:30 How to pray for a child with same sex attraction
- 1:08:00 How can leaders use Northstar to help them
- 1:09:00 Message to individuals wanting to come back to the church
Links:
North Star Bennett & Becky’s North Star Conference Keynote Bennett & Becky would love to connect with anyone who has questions or needs further support. You can reach them at their joint email: Bennettandbecky@gmail.com Read the TRANSCRIPT of this podcast
Awesome. Thank you. You give us great hope for our own family.
Your story is incredible, and so touching. I came across your Ensign article this morning, and immediately realised I had read it before, and had wondered about your story so I managed to find you (both) on here. Thank you for sharing your experiences and expanding my views. I am truly touched, and wish you All Good Things ?
That. Was. AMAZING…!!! So so grateful for their vulnerability and sharing and opening my eyes to what culture had falsely taught me about homosexuality. THANK YOU. I just want to hug you ALL…
I learned such a lot from this article. Thanks for sharing. I think the biggest lessons are to ‘love thy neighbour’ and to ‘trust in the Lord’. Life is about learning and we all learn differently. The atonement was prepared before the foundation of the world because we were never expected to get it right first time. Don’t judge me because I sin differently than you…
Thank you for your courage and the forthright way in which you share you story !
It confirms my thoughts about the Grinch that stole Christmas and its correlation to the Prodigal Son.
Of interest to me was the reference as to the time just before Christmas as you events were developing. God Bless YOU and your
Fascinating story. Thanks to the Bordens for sharing and to Kurt for putting it together. From a leadership perspective, there was a lot to learn there about being an effective leader for someone who is not living gospel standards. I appreciated the point about if we cut out those who are not living according to our beliefs from our lives, then we have given up our chance to be an influence in their lives. My family has had to deal with this issue, and when there are hurt feelings involved (for example, if I feel my loved ones’ rejection of my faith is somehow a rejection of me, personally), it can be a challenge to keep those communication lines open, but in the long run, it’s a great blessing to all. Thanks again.
Wonderful conversation! I’ve had a lot of interesting conversations with family and friends sharing what I gleaned. Thank you for sharing your stories!
Thank you so much for sharing your story. You have helped me make an important decision of accepting my son and his partner into our lives and to make a real effort to love and accept him with love. He has been isolated from us because of his decision to live this way and doesn’t know how to come back to church even though he wants to. Thank you again, I have felt the Spirit testify to me that LOVE is more important than anything! this will be life changing for our entire family. I send you my love and gratitude, keep sharing this message. We need to hear it.
Thank you for this precious comment, Kimberly. This is why we share our story, and testify of the powerful grace of the Lord. Please keep us posted on how you’re doing. We would love to keep in touch.
This was a remarkable episode. Certainly in regard to the Bennett’s and how God played a role in their lives, but also in the big picture of this gospel and how narrow my view can be. Thank you so much for the message of hope, but also of living those attributes of Christ that truly make a difference in our own lives and those that we touch. Thank you.
Thanks for sharing this precious message of love and forgiveness,
As a read this story, it remind me of the journey that we all walk in this life, we are all been care by our beloved Savior.
Thank you so much for sharing your incredible story. I was delighted to come across this interview after also reading your Ensign article. I am truly touched by what you’ve said, by your ‘journey.’ Thank you ?
What a beautiful story! You both ooze such love for each other. Your testimonies were a highlight of this blog. Congratulations on your Temple marriage, im sure many lives will be touched by the roads you have both walked. The Gospel is so true, and worth whatever it takes to have the peace that comes from its membership.