Bennett and Becky Borden are a married couple who both experience same-sex attraction and who were both in same-sex marriages and relationships for many years prior to returning to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and prior to their marriage to each other. Bennett and Becky both grew up in the South in active LDS families. They met about 28 years ago when Bennett was a young man and served his mission in Becky’s ward. Bennett became close with Becky’s family and over they years they have remained friends. In their early 20s, both Bennett and Becky came out as gay, left the Church and went on to live a gay lifestyle for many years. After many years away they each decided separately they wanted to come back to the Church. They met up at Becky’s family reunion and knew they should get married. They returned to church attendance, were married, and after a time had their blessings restored and were sealed in the temple. A lot can be learned and gained from their amazing story, their relationships, their faith transitions, their interactions with family and church leaders, and their spiritual experiences.

  • 3:15 Bennett’s upbringing
  • 5:00 Becky’s upbringing
  • 7:30 Bennett’s close relationship with Becky’s family
  • 8:00 After his mission, Bennett’s first marriage to a woman
  • 9:30 Bennett lives a gay lifestyle and stops going to church
  • 10:30 Becky’s journey coming out as gay
  • 13:30 Their relationships with God as they left the church and lived the gay lifestyle
  • 14:30 Bennett’s experience studying other religions
  • 16:00 Becky’s experience joining several other churches
  • 18:00 What can we learn from our crises of faith?
  • 19:00 Every relationship has goodness to them
  • 20:30 “The light and love of God shines everywhere”/Growth can happen even as we are lost
  • 22:00 Becky’s excommunication and the blessing of it
  • 24:30 The thing that brought them back to the gospel
  • 26:00 Bennett’s same sex relationship and what brought him back
  • 28:20 Becky and where she was as Bennett’s relationship ended
  • 31:00 Leaders and family members and how they reached out to Bennett and Becky while they were living a gay lifestyle
  • 34:00 Love within church disciplinary councils
  • 35:30 Bennett and Becky’s friendship as they came back to the church
  • 44:00 How to reconcile thoughts of going back to the church with being gay
  • 45:00 Reading the scriptures assuming it’s all true
  • 48:00 Bennett and Becky decision to get married
  • 50:00 Becky’s experience meeting with her bishop to discuss coming back to church
  • 53:20 Bennett’s experience meeting with his bishop to discuss coming back to church
  • 56:15 How Satan worked to keep them from coming back
  • 57:00 Their marriage by a bishop in Washington D.C.
  • 58:45 Bennett’s ex-husband Richard joined the church
  • 1:02:30 How to pray for a child with same sex attraction
  • 1:08:00 How can leaders use Northstar to help them
  • 1:09:00 Message to individuals wanting to come back to the church


North Star

Bennett & Becky’s North Star Conference Keynote

Bennett & Becky would love to connect with anyone who has questions or needs further support. You can reach them at their joint email:

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