In 2016 Leading Saints conducted a survey about ward mother’s day gifts. We got a response from 172 females and 51 males. The good news is, most sisters want chocolate from their ward family and most sisters usually get chocolate. If you take one thing away from this not-so-scientific survey, it is, when in doubt, go with chocolate. 🙂
Mother’s Day Survey Results:
The average of the survey said their bishopric probably spends about $1 per sister for Mother’s Day gifts.
To Pay for Mother’s Day Gifts:
92% Use Ward Budget 8% Use Private Donations <1% Use Fundraiser
Favorite Gifts & Wish List
At the end of the survey there was a comments box where individuals could leave specific feedback to bishoprics that organize Mother’s Day. Reading over those messages, it is hard to come up with any form of consensus other than, everyone has a different opinion. Many said not to assign “mother” or “female” focused messages in sacrament meeting, others said to keep your efforts simple as long as it is sincere. The reminder was given to visit those sisters unable to attend on Mother’s Day. Most seemed to realize bishoprics are trying and they appreciate any effort. When I was bishop, my bishopric would always serve pie during the third hour and I’d invite my mom to attend. I did this for five years and the sisters seemed to enjoy sitting, chatting, and not having a child demanding a bit of their pie. They seemed to love the tradition and I never received negative feedback. Many times, it seems bishoprics want to put women on a pedestal for a day, while trying not to offend anyone. The main message I gathered from reviewing this survey is, keep it simple, don’t try to have specific female messages during the meetings, and then serve a fun refreshment in the third hour—just because. Make it different, and they will see you are trying. Or just buy a lot of chocolate. 🙂 A BIG THANK YOU to Heather Mecham for compiling all the results from this survey.
Saw the survey and didn’t reply, but one suggestion-Please have enough for EVERY female in the ward or branch. For the past two years, I have been passed over because other women tell the youth passing out the gift, that they need to take one for so-and-so, she’s ill today,without looking for women in the room that haven’t received one yet. Just a thought.
Mother’s Day gifts at church should be like free t-shirt day at the baseball game. You don’t come, you don’t get one.
Is this our Sharon Haynie from DN branch? Really? I totally agree. Get plenty HP’s and Elders. Sharon if that is our Sharon, please PM me. I would love tohear from you.
And, as your mother, I will miss the delicious pie during a relaxing third hour of church. It was a great idea and something I will always remember and a great way to honor mothers on Mother’s Day. Thanks for thinking of me, my youngest bishop son!
please please please please don’t pull us teachers from Primary for pie or talking. Ugh. I have been called by God to be there and that is where I should be. Talking to other grownups while nice doesn’t belong in 3rd hour. Ugh ugh ugh
Beautiful! I couldn’t agree more!
I agree! Please Please Please! Don’t take us out of Primary to go eat Treats! Find another way to show appreciation to Mothers!
Well done! Great survey. I agree with the chocolate, lack of talks, and the third hour refreshments!
We once had a bishop hand out frozen TV dinners! Probably low on the “most desired” list, but very creative and I will always remember that with a smile. He gets points for effort and most humorous and memorable!
Coming way late to the discussion (years late), but it would seem to me that whatever is to be done on Mother’s Day should now be facilitated by the Elder’s Quorum Presidency rather than the bishopric. 😉
Can I suggest NOT sending the youth out hunting all women? Set them up outside the chapel, or in the kitchen or … sometime.
I struggled with infertility for nearly a decade. Mother’s Day was pure torture – and the only time I ever serious entertain thoughts of staying home. The talks are mostly bearable (though no picnic), but the worst is when the youth would spread out in search of women who were not holding whatever flower or chocolate. And, invariably, as soon as I would send one on his way, “I’m not a mother, thank you,” another would pop up at my elbow, dutifully, kindly… twisting the knife. Inevitably they would be instructed that the gifts were for all women, so they’d try hard to give me one. But I was not a mother, in spite of my tears and pleadings with the Lord. And don’t even get me started on the “Are We Not All Mothers” tripe. There is a *big* difference – a HUGE difference – between being *foreordained* to something and actually **BEING** something, as is made very clear in the temple.
10 years after my first child was born, I still detest Mothers’ Day. It hurts. Maybe, eventually, I will heal and that will change. It hasn’t yet.
In the mean time, please, PLEASE, don’t go hunting the sisters. Some few are probably actively trying to avoid the gifts, trying hard to not remember the lack that’s been rubbed in her face all day long. Don’t twist the knife; let them come to you if they want it.
For years the tradition in my ward was a simple gift for all sisters 18 and older. Usually chocolate, a plant or flower.
Our new bishop, for the last three years, gave no gift or acknowledgement. His explanation was not to offend any sister. Further, that it wasn’t the ward’s responsibility to celebrate the day. That was the job of the family, and for single sisters, the home teacher.
This change wasn’t well-received as it occurred without any advance notice. Members have now learned to accept it. And home teachers were not comfortable giving flowers or candy to a single sister.
I like the idea of a simple gift for those in attendance. No talk is necessary, but a simple acknowledgement of our love for all the women in our lives is nice.
As always, Kurt, I was happy to give you a hand with this! I chuckled, but was not surprised when I saw that chocolate was the most popular!
Food is the communication tool of choice for Latter Day Saints. It seems sometimes that activity organizers believe somehow that no one will participate if not bribed by pizza, pop, potato chips or pie. I am aware of a seminary/institute teacher who is apparently of the firm and unshakeable belief that a pile of pizza must be provided each week without fail.
This is a tradition of man, and sometimes it is just a bad idea.
A small gift for Mother’s Day is fine, but if you give chocolate to a diabetic or a piece of pie to someone with gluten intolerance, what have you given? Less than nothing – because the message of such a gift is that the person is not important. They cannot eat it, and in fact just having the stuff around is a serious temptation to do so.
Too often folks with food allergies, diabetes, and similar challenges are left feeling like second class saints in our food-laden church culture. That bishop that moved his ward away from elaborate gifting was doing the right thing.
To be fair, diabetics can eat chocolate. They can eat whatever they want, in fact. That’s what insulin is for.
It’s hard to please everyone. Our current Bishop decided not to do anything for mother’s day. Speakers aren’t assigned to talk on mother’s day, there is no gift, no refreshments, no day off from primary.
I was initially surprised he went that way, but I have to say although I’ve occasionally heard people say they wish something were did, I heard many complaints every previous year that something was done about what that something was.
The other auxiliaries are free to do something, it’s just the bishopric that doesn’t. The primary children sing and we are making a mother’s day gift in primary.
I think it’s the best way to go. The only thing I might try if I were in charge would be to put out pink, white, red carnations and safety pins and invite everyone in the ward to wear a carnation to honor their mother – pink/red if she’s living, white if she’s passed away. Might spark some interesting conversations.
I love your idea of wearing different color of flowers.
Sacrament meeting is for honoring and remembering the Savior, it’s not Fathers Day or Mothers Day, it’s the Saviors Day! Sacrament meeting is a time for us to renew our covenants, it is a sacred ordinance.
This is the same reason we do not have missionary farewells any longer. The meeting isn’t about me or you, or a missionary, or mother, it’s about the Savior and His atonement.
Special celebrations can and should be held at home within the family.
Give the gift of time. Excuse everyone after Sacrament meeting to spend the time with their mothers.
Brilliant!
I am the wife of a bishopric member, and I used to love Mother’s Day. Now, I detest it. Every year someone has to pick up the flowers for my ward. It’s never the men. It’s always the wives. The men work. Next, it is always very specific so as to not offend anyone. Seriously, no one is going to be pleased. This is something better done away with. We go to church to grow closer to the Savior, not to get treats or recognition. Most detested thing, 3rd hour chatting and eating. I don’t need to socialize at church. Again, it’s about building testimony and gaining faith.
Oh, we also get candy bars with the flowers, music in sacrament and the 3rd hour social time. Can anyone say overdone?
I’d really love to see the fathers acknowledged on Father’s Day. It makes my heart sad to see that the men aren’t recognized and given something however small it may be. I’ve taken as the Ward Music Chair person and conductor to pick hymns and have a couple special musical numbers, but does anyone have any ideas for a small token we could pass out to the men?
Most wards that I’ve been in have something for men on Father’s day. The ones I remember are candy bars, Pie, and root beer.