Recently I have had several friends called as stake presidents.

This has caused me to reflect on principles I have learned from my own experience in a stake presidency and things I have learned from doing hundreds of leadership interviews for Leading Saints.

I’d like to share my personal advice for new or established stake presidents.

Maybe you will find it helpful and send it on to a stake president you know.

Maybe you will add to my list of advice, and we can really expand this topic.

I am not going to try to discuss the entire list in one newsletter but will discuss a few points each week for several weeks.

In order to tease you, here is my current list, and I am sure it will expand by the end of this series.

• Lead the leaders, not the stake.
• Say no to stake themes.
• Overcommunicate to your bishoprics.
• Minimize the targets.
• Shepherd the lost memberships.
• Empower the stake Relief Society president.
• Wives can minister to wives.
• Reset after three years, not nine.

Let’s jump into the first one…

Lead the leaders, not the stake

I often reflect on my time transitioning from being a bishop to being a member of the stake presidency.

I sort of felt like I was going from bishop to SUPER BISHOP.

I was quickly overwhelmed by such a task, as it was impossible to attempt to connect personally with every member of the stake (~4,000 people).

Once I realized I was more of a mentor to the bishoprics and elders quorum presidencies (with the help of the high council), it suddenly became a realistic effort.

Instead of shaking hands before and after each meeting, take a moment after a sacrament meeting and step into the bishop’s office.

“Bishop, how are you doing?”

“What’s weighing you down?”

“How did ward council go this morning?”

Instead of making ward visits in individual homes, put yourself in the homes of bishopric members.

Get to know their families.

Build trust.

Make it fun.

I remember for a specific bishop council meeting, we, the stake presidency, invited all the bishops to come to the stake center in casual street clothes.

Once they got there, we piled in a few cars and went down the road to the local bowling alley.

We spent an hour or two bowling with our bishops as if we were real people.

Most “pressing agenda items” are really not that pressing and can wait.

But connecting as human beings can never wait.

After spending some time laughing at each other’s pathetic bowling form, they saw us more as friends than authorities.

This was a positive shift.

How have you seen stake presidencies lead the ward leaders in effective ways?

Mandating stake programs & themes

Let’s talk about stake themes and programs.

Someone recently said it perfectly…

The problem with stake callings is that they call really good people to fill them. Really good people usually want to get really good things done, so they plan and execute a bunch of really good things leaving all the ward leaders in their wake.

Amen and amen.

I have often referred to this as the tyranny of experience.

This is a force stake presidencies (or any stake leader) needs to push back on.

Many have experience implementing successful programs and themes on the ward level, so naturally we want to take out our broad brush and apply it to all wards in the stake.

Let’s index enough names to fill a stake!

Let’s do a “stake president’s challenge” and have all the youth read the Book of Mormon by the end of the summer.

Our stake theme is “Love One Another.” Please use that as the basis of all sacrament meeting talks through the end of the year.

Very often this causes ward leaders’ authority to feel suppressed.

I’ve often agreed with the saying, “The work of the Church hinges on the keys of the bishops.”

The stake presidency should be walking into every meeting muttering…

“How can I get out of their way?”

“How can I get out of their way?”

“How can I get out of their way?”

Obviously, some programs and themes can rally a ward or a stake, but let it come from the bishopric/ward councils.

They are closer to the people — closer to the problems they face.

So instead of mandating a theme or program in the stake, coach ward leaders on whether they should consider a more formal program or theme in their wards and then if that is the direction they feel inspired to go, offer resources.

Side note: Of course, if a stake presidency feels inspired to implement a stake theme or program, they have every right to do so. The purpose of this message is only to get you thinking about this topic in a different way that might lead to more empowered local leaders. ????

How have you seen stakes handle the implementation of stake programs and themes?

Lighten the load through effective communication

It’s typical for the ward/stake relationship to become passive-aggressive in a negative way.

Much of this dynamic is caused by the black box that the stake presidency can create.

Or in other words, few understand what the stake presidency is doing behind the scenes.

Will the stake show up in sacrament meeting on Sunday? Ward leaders aren’t sure.

Will the stake be taking some of your most effective leaders to serve on the stake level? Ward leaders aren’t sure.

Are the ward goals the same as the stake goals? Maybe you’ll find out in the next meeting.

Communication is a powerful tool in minimizing this negative dynamic between ward and stake leaders.

It’s not just communication but communicating in a way that lightens the load on ward leaders.

Here are a few examples:

The stake presidency will bless many by sending all bishoprics an email after each stake presidency meeting (at least once a week).

In that email, they can communicate which ward each member of the stake presidency will be visiting on Sunday.

They can also communicate certain stake callings they are working to fill and invite bishoprics to offer specific names they could consider.

Finally, include any additional information about upcoming activities, meetings, or information that will keep bishoprics in the loop.

Too many stake presidencies add items to a list to review in the next in-person meeting.

Remember, a well-run meeting can never be better than a well-worded email.

Don’t save information for the next meeting.

Send an email, and they can follow up with you if they have questions.

Another place stake presidents miss an opportunity is with regular personal interviews with individual bishops.

Generally speaking, this is happening in most stakes (or it should be happening) at least once a month.

However, these meetings often require the bishop to travel to the stake president.

Flip this.

Generally speaking, bishops are much busier with much more sensitive situations than a stake president.

Most bishops will appreciate the stake president coming to the bishop.

If this means the stake president only visits one sacrament meeting instead of two to three, then it’s totally worth it.

What do you think of this advice?

In your experience, how can a stake president (or stake leaders) better communicate with ward leaders?

Minimize the targets

The general membership of a stake probably doesn’t realize that stake presidents get together with other stake presidents in their area on a regular basis.

These are called coordinating councils.

They are typically facilitated by an area authority Seventy.

As the first counselor in a stake presidency, I had the opportunity to attend a handful of these meetings when my stake president was not able to attend.

I’ve also talked with countless other stake presidents and have listened to their experience as well.

Typically, these are long meetings where much information is discussed such as area plans, upcoming initiatives, general policy adjustments, etc.

The majority of stake presidents I talk to say the experience they have when leaving a coordinating council meeting is overwhelm.

Typically, they leave the meeting with a long list of marching orders or targets to start aiming for.

This results in a stake president dumping the long list of targets onto the bishops of his stake.

Bishops then takes the long list of targets and dump them onto their ward councils.

The ward council is then buried with even more targets so that vision and motivation are lost.

Most, if not all, leaders want to be as obedient as possible.

If they are asked to do something, they want to get it done.

However, ambitious obedience can become a burden for leaders.

If there are too many overwhelming targets, it can lead to disengagement.

This is a paradox of leadership (especially in our faith tradition).

A leader must be obedient to the directions given while still eliminating targets before they are dumped onto the bishops.

Your stake deserves a leader willing to have a tough conversation with an area authority where he says, “We aren’t doing that….”

Or, if a target given in a coordinating council is not in line with the vision set for the stake through revelation, ignore it rather than dumping it onto those you lead.

That feels uncomfortable, doesn’t it?

Nevertheless, it is what leadership looks like.

You represent the members of your stake, so you need to set boundaries from too many targets before they set boundaries from you.

Disengagement is an organizational cancer that will dramatically limit your influence.

So, minimize the targets because that’s what leaders do.

Shepherd the lost

Can you imagine someone in your area who is desperate to be baptized and make eternal covenants with God and we fail to proactively help them in this quest?

It sounds ridiculous, and it probably rarely happens in our missionary program.

However, it’s all too common with those who have lost their membership and are desperate to return.

Very often a stake presidency and/or high council are involved in membership councils that leave an individual with spiritual restrictions or even removal of Church membership.

I can’t think of a group of people who are in need of more fellowship, more love, more encouragement, and more connection with a community than this group of people.

However, I have heard story after story where these individuals feel frustrated, forgotten, and dismissed, especially by their Church leaders.

It’s common for a stake president to meet with individuals who have made very poor choices that violate covenants.

These regular meetings seem to be most common leading up to a membership council and typically become irregular after the membership council, even when these councils are done with love.

I get it.

In the name of privacy for those involved, the stake president takes it upon himself to be the place for discussing personal progress and repentance with this person.

“Let’s meet regularly so we can work towards your rebaptism.”

Again, these regular meetings typically become less regular, leaving the person lost in their religious routines, wondering if everyone in their church community perceives them as an outcast.

I’ve heard too many stories of those whose covenants have been removed wondering…

What’s the next step?

Has the stake president forgotten about me?

Why am I always requesting the next appointment?

There’s no perfect way for leaders to avoid these negative experiences in Church repentance; however, here are some general thoughts to consider when shepherding someone back to the Church.

Why can’t they hear from the stake president (or someone) once a week? 2-3 times a month?

Why not build a community of leaders around them? Maybe have 2-3 high councilors who were in the room during their membership council? 2-3 members of their elders quorum or Relief Society?

Stake presidents need to be clear about what you are thinking about and processing their situation.

Don’t leave them in the dark.

There is no one-size-fits-all approach; however, figure out a way to battle for their hearts.

Overwhelm them with phone calls, text messages, drop-ins, etc.

They don’t need to reach perfection in order to progress, just like those investigating the church are not required to reach perfection to be baptized.

Chase them.

Pursue them.

Leave the 99 appointments and responsibilities you have as a leader.

Go after the one.

Empower the Stake Relief Society President

One thing that surprised me during my time serving in a stake presidency…

The stake Relief Society president doesn’t have a ton to do.

• Meet with stake presidency once a month
• Instruct ward Relief Society presidencies on responsibilities

If I were to serve in a stake presidency again, I would suggest we see the stake Relief Society president as an unofficial counselor in the stake presidency.

I would invite her to every stake presidency meeting.

(HERE is a stake president who already does this and he highly recommends it)

I would get her take on callings we are extending.

I would ask her to actively visit other wards in the stake, especially sacrament meetings, and seek impressions as to the will of the Lord for the stake.

Of course, her ministering to ward Relief Society presidents would be essential as well.

Her presence would be more obvious at stake conferences.

From time to time, I would assign her Saturday evening sessions to organize the agenda and conduct the meeting.

In short, she would be part of the leadership effort.

I’d love to hear how other stake presidencies have empowered the stake Relief Society presidents.

The Stake President’s Wife

Make no mistake.

The call to a stake presidency is a family calling.

Especially for the wife.

If you leave her on the sidelines, it’s going to be a long nine years.

These leadership callings can bless the lives of presidency members’ entire families.

There are numerous ways to get the stake president’s wife involved (I’d love to hear your ideas on this).

I recommend inviting her, with the help of the other presidency members’ wives, to lead the bishopric members’ wives of the stake.

When I served in a stake presidency, I witnessed my wife and the other wives leading them, and it was incredible.

They would organize dinners for the bishoprics’ wives, make visits, and remember them with simple Christmas gifts.

Bishopric members’ wives can experience great loneliness supporting their husbands from home.

My mother made an afghan that’s been in my parents’ television room my entire life.

I once asked her when she made it, and she replied:

“I crocheted that blanket when your father served as bishop when we were raising a young family. He would go to church meetings and I’d sit at home feeling out of the loop and forgotten while I crocheted.”

My wife had a similar experience when I served as a bishop.

I’d be at the church witnessing miracles in the lives of ward members and having revelatory experiences while my wife was at home making yet another round of mac and cheese, watching the same Disney movie over and over.

(By the way, you can hear me and my wife discussing how my serving as a bishop complicated our relationship HERE).

The stake presidencies’ wives are in a unique position to reach out and minister to bishopric members’ wives in ways only they can offer.

Whether they hold dinners, make regular visits, or just get together and crochet afghans, stake presidency’s wives will be ministering angels to bishoprics’ wives and also bless each other.

3-Year Reset

There is a special kind of energy in an organization when new leadership is called, especially in a stake where the former stake president served for roughly nine years.

Suddenly there is a new sheriff in town, and it feels different.

Adjustments are made.

A new focus is put in place.

Meetings are handled with new rhythm.

It’s different.

And it feels good.

This is a huge advantage of a new stake presidency.

They have fresh eyes on old issues.

But nine years is a long time to wait around for such an opportunity.

Generally speaking, leadership, vision, and direction can start to go stale around three years.

The remaining six years can feel like things are coasting.

Unfortunately, the last people to feel this staleness are the stake presidency.

Self-awareness is one of the hardest things to maintain as a leader of any organization.

When you are in charge, most things seem to be going well.

So, for a leadership group like a stake presidency that has such a long tenure, they must be aggressive in keeping things fresh, especially when they hit the three-year mark.

Chip & Dan Heath, authors of the book Decisive, offer an effective mental exercise to help leaders refresh.

They tell a story of a CEO and a chairman of a failing corporation.

These two individuals knew their board of directors was probably going to fire them if things didn’t change immediately.

One day as they were pondering on this predicament, they asked the question, “If we were fired, what would our successors do?”

Suddenly, all sorts of ideas came to mind, and they had a fresh direction to move the organization.

That question is a good place to start.

Some other ideas of refreshing your leadership perspective include these:

• Have an off-site meeting where you can pretend like you’re brand new in the calling, and come up with a new vision and direction.
• Do the mundane differently: Hold stake high council meeting in the cultural hall, at your home, or at McDonald’s on a Tuesday.
• Release the majority of stake council (maybe even your counselors) and start with fresh perspectives all at once.
• Let the youth (or other organization) plan the next stake conference (this actually happened).
• Hold a stake council, meaning invite the entire stake to come together and council. Do it in phases if you can’t fit them all together.

What would you add to the list?

Here’s my point: This is a proactive, intentional exercise.

It won’t come naturally, but your stake will feel the energy of new leadership even though it’s the same guy at the top.

Sincerely,

Kurt Francom
Executive Director
Leading Saints

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