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Mary Wilson and her husband live in Puyallup, Washington outside of Seattle. They are the parents of four children and five grandchildren. She is a convert to the church and was baptized shortly after marrying her husband. Education is very important in their lives. Both she and her husband have earned advanced degrees that includes her PhD from the University of Colorado in Leadership Research and Policy. Sister Wilson explains she pursued this doctoral degree not only to further her career but to also prepare her to serve more fully in church callings. In this interview we learn great wisdom from Sister Wilson who has served twice in recent years as a Relief Society President.
Leadership principles discussed include:
- What leading by example truly means
- The art of selective neglect
- The difference between conflict and contention
- That conflict resolution is a skill that takes practice and time to develop
- Striving for excellence and goodness instead of perfection
- What a typical week looks like for a Relief Society President
- Thoughts on helping Visiting Teachers fulfill their assignments
Links and References Mentioned in this Episode:
– October 2014 General Conference
– Which Way Do You Face? – Elder Lynn G. Robbins – October 2014 General Conference
– General Conference Talks about Conflict and Contention
– GoodReads.com recommended books about Conflict Resolution
– Dan Clark – BYU Devotional – “The Art of Significance: Achieving the Level Beyond Success.”
– “Opportunities come, and then they are gone” – President Thomas S. Monson
– “There is an irrigation analogy normally used in the Church of “getting the water to the end of the row.” However, at stake and ward levels, it would be far better for you priesthood leaders and auxiliary officers to simply “let it rain” from heaven.” – Elder Richard G. Scott
“Sister Wilson explains she pursued this doctoral degree not only to further her career but to also prepare her to serve more fully in church callings.”
So that’s my problem! I don’t have a PhD in leadership! I graduated from the same university as Abraham Lincoln, you know the ST&LU. (Self-taught and Library University) I’ve asked myself the question you ask “How do I lead?” and I honestly can’t answer it. I just do the best I can with the challenges I have, relying on the Lord for inspiration and then keep plugging along. I have a love/hate relationship with the podcasts. I enjoy hearing what goes on in other units, but wonder what they would do if faced with the challenges of this unit. How would they lead if they worked under a dysfunctional branch presidency? with one counselor only? Seriously, no teachers, no secretary, no VT coordinator, no compassionate service leader, nobody, just the pres and one counselor. After two years I’m almost totally burned out.
On a more positive note, I did hear from the Stake RS Pres who congratulated me for getting the highest percentage VT in the stake for the last quarter. Must be doing something right to accomplish that.
Ignore my sour grapes, we had an especially trying Branch Council meeting yesterday and I’m just venting. Keep up the good work.
Rozy,
I think the point in mentioning her degree is because it is very unusual for many Relief Society Presidents and makes Mary unique. It is not meant to be discouraging or to make you feel less equipped. I think it is to just show what a remarkable/outstanding woman Mary is and how she has been able to excel with the opportunities she has been given. It was only recently after all her children were raised that she went back to school to obtain her doctoral degree. At this point in my personal life it would also be very impractical to obtain an advanced degree too so I do the best with the education and training I do have. The Lord qualifies whomever He calls regardless of our educational background as they seek His will. I do think though this one reason why the podcast suggestion of continuing training with the leaders your ward/branch does have is so valuable. Certainly we all need to polish ourselves and develop many of these skills to become sharp tools in the Lord’s arsenal.
I am Mary Wilson’s daughter-in-law (no pressure there- eek!). I happen to know she encountered some pretty good challenges/hardships she served in as Relief Society President. I believe she did not go into specifics as to not embarrass various ward members she served with because it would not be appropriate to point out the weaknesses of those serving with you or to call attention to private situations of those she served. Every ward or branch presents its own difficulties. It certainly sounds like you are doing your best in your calling in just trying to make sure all your bases are covered with a staff of two! Perhaps suggesting to the editor some podcasts on how leaders work in smaller branches would help leaders like you serving in those circumstances. Much love in the gospel!
Melanie, Thanks for the info. The opening line of my comment was a little tongue in cheek; but once again, hearing from you that she is remarkable/outstanding makes me feel like the proverbial frumpy step-sister. What does it take to be remarkable and outstanding? I think that I am given the challenges and circumstances of my life, but because I don’t have worldly degrees/honors/rewards/notoriety etc. I am considered unremarkable and ordinary. Actually I’m hoping for a different measuring scale in the next life.
I have no doubt Mary is wonderful, I enjoyed the podcast very much. I’d love to be in her ward and serve with her; I’m sure I could learn much from her; like playing chess or tennis with a superior player to improve my skill.
Do you ever have the feeling that you’d like to be recognized for your accomplishments and made to feel worthwhile and important? I’m not sure if that is an unrighteous longing, but I think it is pretty universal. I get awfully lonely here for associations with intelligent, articulate, cultured, refined, knowledgeable sisters. The church is true wherever we live, but there is certainly a huge difference in the members from place to place.
Thanks for taking time to comment. I’m sure I’d enjoy your company too!
Rozy,
It has taken me 36 years to get where I am today and, at times, it has been a thorny path to tread. I am not perfect nor do I have all the answers. I have found that my experiences teach me more about my weaknesses than my strengths and that every time the Lord has made up the difference where I fall short. I am still learning and growing and having success and failing.
You have challenges that would be unique to most wards but not so unique to most branches – plus you have a few additional ones that go beyond challenging! I would be happy to discuss possible suggestions and/or tools that might be of value to you and your work in your branch. You probably can teach me a thing or two as well! Let me know if you want to talk and we can figure out how to make contact.
Mary
Mary,
Thank you for the kind and generous offer. I’m always ready and willing to learn and improve. I can be reached at rozylass(at)gmail(dot)com.
I have to tell you (Rozy & Mary) that this is what I love about Leading Saints–making connections and learning from each other. Seeing that happen through these comments proves that this is of great worth.
I’m new to Leading Saints, and came across this podcast. I served as one of Mary’s counselors. She is a wonderful leader! I enjoyed the podcast even though it is dated.