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This is a powerful guest post by a new author (who will remain nameless). There are fantastic leadership lessons to be learned–focused on ministering to the one.

Enter Anonymous Guest Author…

We are called to lead a stake, ward, auxiliary, quorum or group.  Leading the many is not the way of the church.  Though it is absolutely necessary, ultimately our challenge and calling is to minister to the one.  We administer to the many but minister to the one.  Let me relate my experience of being “the one” and some of what I learned.

It was several years ago and I distinctly remember the moment.  I passed my Elders Quorum President (I’ll call him John) in the hall on my way to Sunday School.  He turned and asked me if I was available for a PPI the next night.  I agreed.  As we met that Monday night, he started talking about the dangers of pornography and his personal experience fighting it.  He related his long struggle with this horrendous addiction and the repentance process he went through.  Although I was listening, I kept repeating in my mind, “Don’t ask!  Don’t ask!”  Then it happened and he questioned, “when was the last time you viewed pornography?”  I lied and said it had been in the last couple of weeks.

John continued by informing me what he was willing to do to help me overcome this repulsive sin.  The next day the weight of my lie was upon me and I sent a quick text confessing my lie to John.  He lovingly responded and expressed his confidence in me.  From that point forward I don’t remember the exact order in which everything occurred.  I confessed to my wife and then met with my Bishop.  Within the course of four days I had gone from living in sin continually to coming to a realization of all that I had done.

I spent the next several months working out my salvation with my Heavenly Father and truly learned the significance of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  I met with my Bishop regularly and spent time leaning on John, his faith and determination to help me through this trial.  He would organize car pools to Addiction Recovery classes offered by the church.  John regularly checked in with me and continuously offered his support and encouragement.  Over the course of several months, John became a dear friend and one I can count on.

So what is the point of all this?  Being on the receiving side of someone’s ministering provided me great insight as I now sit in a leadership position.  I hope some of these will be helpful to other leaders in their ministrations.

Dedicated

First and foremost, John was absolutely dedicated to the cause.  He was truly available whenever I needed him.  Whether it was a blessing late at night or a text early in the morning, he was there for me.  Despite John’s calling, family and school, he never made me feel like I wasn’t important.  As is the case in true devotion, John’s wife became involved and made herself available to my wife.  My wife made the contact and opened up to her.  This proved to be very beneficial to allow my wife time to mourn, heal and forgive.

As leaders, we often feel pulled in several directions all at the same time.  We all have competing priorities but as Brad Wilcox stated in The Continuous Conversion (a book I highly recommend), “As we are thronged by people and projects all competing for our time and attention, we can trust the Spirit to touch the hem of our garments [in reference to the story of Christ in Matthew 9:20-22] and turn us about to focus on the most important need then.”  We can’t do everything for everyone but maybe, if we truly trust the Spirit we can be everything to one.

We learn in 3 Nephi 17:21 that Christ, the One who suffered for each of us, ministered to the Nephite children “one by one.”  Although we always speak of the Atonement covering all sins, temptations, errors and feelings.  I have come to learn that the Atonement covers all MY sins, MY temptations, MY errors and MY feelings.  I am confident my Lord and Savior suffered for me and then for you because in this way, he grew to know me and love me.

We need to do the same for those we lead and counsel.  We dedicate ourselves to helping them understand the Atonement.

Confidential

He kept everything confidential.  John was bold but encouraged me to take the next step to improve.  During our first meeting, he said I would have to confess to my wife and the Bishop but he would say nothing to either one.  When I walked into the Bishop’s office, I said something like, “I’m guessing John has told you…”  Bishop had no clue.  Knowing that John and the Bishop had this understanding, gave me great confidence in John and that I could tell him anything.

Of course there are things we need to share with others but we should only do so with full knowledge of the one we are helping.

Vision

John had a vision.  Although he never talked about this, I am confident John could see where I was going and what I could become.  Regardless of set-backs and mistakes, John’s confidence in me was unflinching.  John never let my mistakes and sins define me.  Although I was an addict, I never felt that is how he defined me.  I truly felt like more when I was with him.

We can never let someone’s decision to sin become a label.  Someone who is tempted with (or committed) same-sex attraction should not be labeled as “gay” or “homosexual” but they should be always told they are a child of God with the greatest of potential.  Someone who is tempted to smoke (or smokes) a cigarette shouldn’t be labeled as a “smoker” but someone who is facing a challenge that will make them stronger as they overcome it.

Maintaining a vision in our stewardships gives us hope–hope for ourselves and for those we lead.  Knowing that despite the mistakes those in our flock make, they are children of our Heavenly Father.  They are heirs to His kingdom and have the opportunity to accept the Atonement and be perfected through it.  President Monson has stated, “we have the responsibility to see individuals not as they are but rather as they can become.”  This is what John did with me.

Humility

This wasn’t about him.  John was humble throughout the process and consistently praised Jesus Christ for His Atonement and helped me to feel the affects of that marvelous sacrifice in my life.

We need to, as leaders, recognize who The Leader is.  We need to ensure that those we are helping are developing faith in Jesus Christ and a testimony of His Atonement.

Acting With Appropriate Keys

John was adamant that he was there to help but he did not have the keys to forgive me.  Whenever additional confession was required, he would direct me to the Bishop.  However, the Bishop let John do his job with the keys he had in directing the affairs of the Elders Quorum.

Depending on our callings, we may find ourselves in a similar situation.  Always make sure confession is made to the proper person so true forgiveness can be granted, when appropriate.  Also, if you are a Bishop, let your Elders Quorum President use his keys and work like, as my Stake President says, a “mini Bishopric.”  He holds keys; let him use them.

Listen

Prior to being called as president, John had served in the presidency for several years.  Enough that I was thinking there was no chance he’d be called as president and yet that is exactly what happened.  Our Bishop and Stake President listened to the Spirit and the call was extended.

As is always the case in extending callings, we need to listen to the inspiration we receive to ensure the right person is called, regardless of our personal biases or feelings.  Jesus Christ is leading this work and He knows who He needs where and when.  You may not know why but He does!

I learned a lot from John.  I view him as a savior in my life who directed me to The Savior, Jesus Christ.  Had he not been called to serve me I am confident I would still be lost, wondering forbidden paths.  He saved me by opening my eyes to the blessings of true repentance and application of Christ’s Atonement.  As we rely on the Spirit, we will be told who needs us.  There will always be too much to do and too little time but put God first and, as Robert L. Millet said in Men of Valor, “…God comes first, and if we seek his will, he will make known to us what [or who], in that specific instance, comes second.”  As we serve the members of our respective flocks individually, one by one, we come to know our Savior better.  As we come to know Him, we become more like Him and draw closer to God.

I hope and pray we can all be dedicated, keep confidences, have vision, be humble, exercise keys (where appropriate) and listen to the Spirit as we lead others to come unto Christ.

Related Resources

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin’s talk Concern for the One

Elder M. Russell Ballard’s talk The Atonement and the Value of One Soul

President Thomas S. Monson’s talk See Others as They May Become