This is a rebroadcast. The episode originally ran in August 2017.

Bennett and Becky Borden are a married couple who both experience same-sex attraction and who were both in same-sex marriages and relationships for many years prior to returning to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and prior to their marriage to each other. Bennett and Becky both grew up in the South in active LDS families. They met about 30 years ago when Bennett was a young man and served his mission in Becky’s ward. Bennett became close with Becky’s family and over they years they have remained friends. In their early 20s, both Bennett and Becky came out as gay, left the Church and went on to live a gay lifestyle for many years.

After many years away they each decided separately they wanted to come back to the Church. They met up at Becky’s family reunion and knew they should get married. Returning to church attendance, they were married and after a time had their blessings restored and were sealed in the temple. A lot can be learned and gained from their amazing journey, their relationships, their faith transitions, their interactions with family and church leaders, and their spiritual experiences.


3:15 Bennett’s upbringing
5:00 Becky’s upbringing
7:30 Bennett’s close relationship with Becky’s family
8:00 After his mission, Bennett’s first marriage to a woman
9:30 Bennett lives a gay lifestyle and stops going to church
10:30 Becky’s journey coming out as gay
13:30 Their relationships with God as they left the church and lived the gay lifestyle
14:30 Bennett’s experience studying other religions
16:00 Becky’s experience joining several other churches
18:00 What can we learn from our crises of faith?
19:00 Every relationship has goodness to them
20:30 “The light and love of God shines everywhere”/Growth can happen even as we are lost
22:00 Becky’s excommunication and the blessing of it
24:30 The thing that brought them back to the gospel
26:00 Bennett’s same sex relationship and what brought him back
28:20 Becky and where she was as Bennett’s relationship ended
31:00 Leaders and family members and how they reached out to Bennett and Becky while they were living a gay lifestyle
34:00 Love within church membership councils
35:30 Bennett and Becky’s friendship as they came back to the church
44:00 How to reconcile thoughts of going back to the church with being gay
45:00 Reading the scriptures assuming it’s all true
48:00 Bennett and Becky decision to get married
50:00 Becky’s experience meeting with her bishop to discuss coming back to church
53:20 Bennett’s experience meeting with his bishop to discuss coming back to church
56:15 How Satan worked to keep them from coming back
57:00 Their marriage by a bishop in Washington D.C.
58:45 Bennett’s ex-husband Richard joined the church
1:02:30 How to pray for a child with same sex attraction
1:08:00 How can leaders use Northstar to help them
1:09:00 Message to individuals wanting to come back to the church


North Star
Bennett & Becky’s North Star Conference Keynote
Bennett & Becky would love to connect with anyone who has questions or needs further support. You can reach them at their joint email:
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