In my last newsletter I talked about one of the phrases we say in our culture that isn’t helping: “You need to forgive.”

Next, I’ll share another overused phrase that’s been on my mind recently and with which you’ll probably disagree: “Stop judging.”

We need to stop judging others at church!

We need to stop judging people when they return home early from a mission!

There is a lot of irony in this statement because when you tell someone to stop judging, you are literally judging them for judging.

I once learned from a world-renowned mental health therapist that it is literally impossible for our brains not to judge.

In fact, our brains were designed specifically to make as many judgments as possible, whether you are judging the flavor of each bite at breakfast or judging someone walking towards you as a possible threat.

Yes, whether we like it or not, our brain will probably push our awareness towards someone who isn’t wearing temple garments but probably should be, or we will naturally wonder why someone left the Church.

Your brain is probably telling you at this moment that this message you are reading sure sounds judgmental.

Where we should put our focus is how we can better accept like Jesus did.

Accepting isn’t naturally wired in our brain, and we are constantly invited to develop this skill.

“I’m concerned that Cathy doesn’t seem to wear her garments a lot, but no matter what choices she makes I want to make sure we continue inviting her to our monthly lunch group.”

“I don’t think Darrel’s decision to enter a same-sex relationship is the best move for him, but I need to learn more about him and his new partner by inviting them over for dinner.”

Let’s learn to accept better rather than attempting the impossible action of not judging.

Sincerely,

Kurt Francom
Executive Director
Leading Saints

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