Some remarkable discussions are happening in the Leading Saints Helpers Facebook group. If you haven’t joined, do so now, and be a part of the discussion. Recently, my Canadian homeboy, Arthur, got the discussion going on how to improve the efficacy of ward council. He was looking for ideas and perspectives from other church leaders about how they run this important meeting. I’ll let you review the discussion in the Facebook group, and there are some fantastic suggestions, but it reminded me of a concept I have been thinking about, related to meeting management—or more specifically, how we leverage (or waste) people’s time during meetings.
Short Meetings Can Be Controversial
A few years ago, I wrote the most read to date article on Leading Saints, titled How to Make Ward Council a Revelatory Experience. It got 94 comments, and some of my points were considered controversial to many. I never thought I would get personal attacks by writing an article about church meetings (I deleted those). One of my points that particularly offended many was my opinion that most meetings, especially ward councils, should only last 60 minutes. Individuals felt like I was somehow limiting the work of the spirit as if during the meeting a kitchen timer would go off *DING!*, so then I told everybody to stop talking and leave. One individual called a meeting time limit “foolish” and said that as long as you are making progress, more time wouldn’t hurt.
Hmm… well, what if progress doesn’t end? Do we stop once everyone in the room has passed out from dehydration? Do we wait until all members of the meeting are bored stiff? Or what if others in the room don’t think we are making progress? We have to stop sometime.
If time frames were a distraction from the spirit, the handbooks would say, “Continue sacrament meeting until the spirit encourages you to stop.” Instead, it directs that sacrament meetings are to last 70 minutes (Handbook 2 18.1). The Lord and the Holy Spirit know we live in a time restrictive world. If you don’t get to everything on the agenda, nothing will break and nobody will die. And if someone does die, you aren’t prioritizing the agenda effectively.
We Have to Say No to the Important So We Can Accomplish the Essential
The advice I often give to new bishops is this: leadership callings will take as much time as you give them. If you want to work 80 hours a week as a bishop, there will be something to do. If you want to spend 160 hours a week, there will be tasks waiting for you. As we learned from Bishop Greg McKeown, we must say no to the important so that we can accomplish the essential. This goes for meetings as well. There will always be something to talk about, another person to pray for. We can’t do it all, so we might as well leave the meeting after a set time frame and go love someone. Sixty minutes isn’t the magic number, but set a time frame and stick to it.
They Will Love You More If Your Meetings Are Concise
Many times you might see the end of the meeting time approaching and realize you haven’t talked about topics that other auxiliary leaders think are essential. If you don’t bring up these items, those leaders will be disappointed. This might be the case, but you will win more loyal followers as a leader by being consistent and getting them out of meetings, than by squeezing every topic into every meeting. Trust them to figure out the problems they face outside the meeting. Give them permission to make difficult decisions and stand by them when it doesn’t go well. Help them see what it looks like to say no to something important because they probably aren’t doing it enough in their own leadership.
Now, I’ll be the first to admit that keeping a meeting moving and on point is harder than what is explained here. Presiding over a meeting is a skill that takes practice. Do you know how to end a discussion that isn’t going in the way you want it to go? Do you often wait until there is a moment of silence to move on to the next agenda item? Have you established rules for your meeting that create helpful barriers? Do you talk too much in the meeting? Most of these skills can be built by studying good communication, but recognize meeting management as a skill and dedicate yourself to sharpening your ability.
Christ Saves, Meetings Do Not
We sometimes see meetings as a system to solve problems. Not just any problems, but the dire problems of individuals who are really struggling. We can’t bear the thought of leaving the meetings without solving an individual’s problem. A tough part of being mortal is coming to terms with the fact that we have limits. We also have to come to terms with the fact that sometimes it’s not our job to find a solution. We were not called to save the ward, we were not called to bring people out of misery, we were not called to fix it. That is the Savior’s job. So when more is needed to be done and time is short, put the rest of the burden on the Lord and then go love someone. Go visit someone. Go serve someone. It will be in those actions that the real solutions are made manifest.
What do you think? How do you manage time? Please keep the personal attacks to a minimum. 🙂
Kurt. This might not help but… I agree with you. And I can’t even think of a personal attack right now. Really though, this is an important topic and I appreciate you posting it. This might sound condescending but it seems to me that those who disagree on this will come around eventually once they’ve been in enough meetings. Those I know with experience seem to conclude as you have.
Haha! Thanks, Peter! You have much more hope in these individuals than I do. 😉 It seems the ones that have been in the most meetings tend to think they need to last the longest. I’m generalizing, of course.
I think striking the balance between our administrative and ministering activities is critically important. I saw an example of this when I was in a stake calling; I was used to the leadership style of our stake presidency and gained a lot from their focus on seeking the guidance of the spirit, even though it would often take several meetings to come to decisions on important items. I later found out that many others were frustrated by the slow progress and felt that they couldn’t carry out their callings effectively until certain decisions were made. The slow, deliberative pace actually made their experience in serving worse and created conflict in them because they wanted to support their leaders but also had limited time to devote to their callings.
Long story short– you have to try to find the balance between following the Spirit (even where you don’t anticipate going) and also getting the work done in the time people have available to do it.
Kurt, I love this article. I’m currently serving as Bishop of my ward and prior to my call, served 5 years as a counselor to a Bishop who was the President of a company and very skilled at conducting meetings. In 5 years I only remember twice when our meeting ran over, and it was only by 10 minutes both times. The key was that we never had a meeting without an agenda, and we stuck to it. It was a steep learning curve for those prone to tangents and accustomed to drawing the conversation off into the weeds, but over time they learned. He once confided to me that when he sits at a conference table with employees, he’s always aware of the cost. He said, “I can’t let a work meeting go on and on when I have 10 or 15 employees sitting around the table, some of whom are making $150 per hour. When I conduct a leadership meeting, I likewise cannot let it go on and on because the ‘cost’ of doing so is much higher than a salary. It’s calculated in time away from family and lost opportunities for service. Those are priceless.” I have found in my own service that if meetings consistently exceed 1 hour, then one or more of the following is true. 1) There is no agenda. 2) There is too much to cover in one sitting and we need to cover what we can, and push the rest to the next meeting. 3) Review delegation and see if there can be more of it done to better distribute the assignments. 4) We are not meeting often enough.