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Dan Duckworth is a disciple, family man, and changemaker. As a teacher and coach, he guides elite leaders to the top of their game. He’s the author of Stop Asking Why: Your Purpose is Self-Evident, and president of the Leading Saints Board of Directors. This podcast is the second of a 2-part presentation for the Young Saints Virtual Conference. Listen to PART 1: Why Testimony is Not the Only Goal for Latter-day Youth—Part 1
Highlights
00:40 In general, our goal for the youth is to develop disciples of Jesus Christ. We want people who show up for Christ and contribute to the kingdom. We are looking for leaders and contributors that can be productive and effective leaders, missionaries, parents, and spouses.
04:20 Kurt and Dan talk about character building and why it’s important to leadership. Youth development could also be considered character development.
06:25 Youth development isn’t about knowledge or skills. Character is the most important thing.
07:20 Dan explains what character is and how it affects youth development and leadership.
09:20 Contrary to popular belief, character isn’t good or bad. It’s either effective or ineffective relative to your goals.
10:55 It’s not just about staying on the covenant path. Christ is looking for builders of the kingdom. He wants people to work alongside him. That is why character is so important. Character is about how consistently you show up.
11:40 Becoming a disciple of Christ is equally about developing character and testimony.
- Character is how you show up.
- Testimony is why you show up for Christ.
13:40 It’s easy to get hyper focused on testimony development and completely overlook character development. Both are equally important.
15:40 Examples in the scriptures of testimony and character. Great examples are Jonah and Peter. They had great testimonies but weak characters. Jonah tried to run away. Peter denied Christ three times.
16:40 How do you gain a testimony? Testimony is built through direct experiences with God. You are a witness of something. You could be a first hand witness or you have an experience with the holy spirit.
19:40 We need to understand character and testimony to be effective youth leaders.
20:30 Between 20 to 30 percent of missionaries go home early. Most have the testimony but lack the character. The emotional and mental maturity isn’t there to help them deal with the demands of a mission.
23:40 More scriptural examples of testimony and character.
25:55 How does character develop in the real world?
30:35 Leadership development with adults vs. youth development. Adults are much more stuck in their ways and harder to change their thinking. They aren’t malleable like the youth.
33:05 The single most impactful factor on youth development is if mentors are involved and if that mentor was not just assigned but if they emerged. They became that youth’s mentor because they were a teacher or coach and they also wanted to mentor them.
33:55 Dan shares a real life example of how a teacher became a mentor to a young man who was struggling on his sports team and also Dan’s son, who was training to run a half marathon. This man wasn’t assigned. He wanted to mentor these kids.
36:00 Most of us block people off who try to mentor or influence us. It’s only occasionally that there is a special connection made and we then open ourselves up to be mentored.
38:25 Our behavior and the narrative that we have for ourselves is based on the experiences that we have. We have to be open up to rewriting that narrative and accepting mentorship or therapy.
40:00 A huge part of mentorship is just helping that person understand the experiences that they have had or are currently having and what those experiences mean to them or about them.
41:00 How to get in a state of mentorship
- #1 Deeply care about the growth of that youth or person.
- #2 No stake in their choices and not trying to control their choices.
- #3 Have a bigger perspective or the journey
44:04 Dan breaks down what it means to be a normal mentor and an exceptional mentor. This depends on what beliefs, mindset, and approach that the mentor has. Normal mentorship and beliefs can actually do more harm than good.
52:10 A mentor’s job is to unlock their potential and to maximize their own performance, growth, and development. Your job is not to develop or grow them. They can do that themselves. Each activity or exchange needs to focus on how you can unlock their potential.
53:15 To be an exceptional mentor means to have exceptional beliefs. That might mean that you need to do some self work or therapy to work on your own beliefs until you get to a point where you have exceptional beliefs about yourself.
54:55 The church’s children and youth program from 2018 is fundamentally sound but why isn’t it working for many leaders?
58:00 Dan goes through the barriers to youth development.
1:02:50 Youth Leader’s biggest frustration is with setting and achieving goals.
1:05:30 Dan shares a real life example of how to help youth expand their vision and create a goal slightly above their current skill level to keep on growing. Help them have meaningful experiences.
1:10:00 The spiritual aspect of character is not testimony. Do you have the type of character that runs away or stays in the fight when faced with spiritual problems?
1:13:05 Dan discusses weekly activities. Dan’s number one tip is to simplify the activities and focus on developing authentic relationships, especially between adults and youth.
1:18:40 Let them lead. The youth have to be self driven in what they do and in leadership. They normally won’t be motivated and driven if they are just assigned.
1:22:45 Call the best and develop the rest. You might have some very gifted youth mentors that will be excited for any calling to mentor but others need time to be developed.
1:25:00 How do you become a gifted mentor or help others become gifted mentors? The answer is to go on the journey of character development and having experiences that change your narrative.
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Read the transcript of this podcast
I like this podcast. As exemplified in the stories, I believe that character is developed through experience. That is, knowledge can become character through multiple experiences where a choice is made. From my experience, I think that is where adults working with youth are too often lacking: They don’t let youth gain experience by making their own choices and learning from that choice/experience. Every choice in the youth programs should be made by youth and if it doesn’t work out well or when it does, then they learn by their experience becoming someone different.
I think character as described in the podcast may be better understood as our “nature.” We seek to change our nature through the our choices and the atonement of Jesus Christ. That then fits into the story of Peter: “When thou art converted, strengthen they brethren.” Conversion not in the sense of getting a stronger testimony. But coverting ones character or nature to one that is more Christ-like. President Dallin H. Oaks’s talk on “The Challenge to Become” speaks to this.