This is a time when faith is deeply tested, leading some people to an intense state of cognitive dissonance where they begin to question even the existence of God.
As leaders, these individuals often seek us out to help them navigate this faith journey.
I recently heard from a stake president who spent hours with a young woman doing his best to give her satisfactory answers to some of her faith concerns.
She shared valid concerns that were all over the map, from Joseph Smith’s polygamy to the fallibility of prophets.
As I have listened to individuals either going through this cognitive dissonance or who have left the faith in order to settle the dissonance, I have noticed recurring patterns.
Many don’t know how to reconcile the lack of perceived fairness in the so-called plan of happiness.
Mortality seems to be unfair and that is just…well…unfair.
And then when they realize that mortal unfairness has led to great suffering in the lives of individuals, it only exacerbates the dissonance.
How could a loving God allow cancer to take someone who is so sweet?
It isn’t fair.
How could a loving God create someone gay and then forbid them from marrying someone they love?
It isn’t fair.
How could a loving God punish someone with suffering and then give another everything they want?
It isn’t fair.
I must admit.
These are valid and tough questions.
I don’t necessarily have the best way to offer help to this specific struggle, but the “unfairness” framing is often at the root.
As I have mentioned before, the orthodox leaders often go on a fool’s errand when we only try to answer their specific questions about tough church history topics or modern social issues.
We might better serve those in faith-related cognitive dissonance by helping them dismiss the “unfair” framing of God and mortality.
“Wherefore, fear not even unto death; for in this world [fairness] is not full, but in me [fairness] is full.” (Doctrine & Covenants 101:36)
How have you helped others effectively frame the unfairness they see in mortality?
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Sincerely,
Kurt Francom
Executive Director
Leading Saints
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