Beckie Hennessy was born and raised in West Valley City, Utah where she currently resides with her husband of 14 years and their 3 children. Beckie has been a therapist since 2007 and currently owns BRICKS Family Counseling, Inc. She is one of the professional therapists on the Advisory Board for Leading Saints and has recently started a podcast called The Path of Imperfection. She has written a book called Ministering Through Connection. Her best days are spent with her family as they watch movies together, blow bubbles in their chocolate milk and laugh until tears come. She loves to read, is a Pinterest addict and enjoys taking naps when she’s able.
Enter Beckie…
I know me pretty well. I know a lot of my patterns and a lot of my ‘go-to’ habits, especially when unknown or ambiguous is put in front of me.
Enter the new Children and Youth Initiative of 2020.
A pattern and habit of mine, particularly in unknown and ambiguity, is to focus on the ‘how.’ This hasn’t been a helpful pattern however, it’s my autopilot. As I went to Father to ask how to magnify my calling (I’m currently serving as the Stake Young Women’s President) as I encourage, support and instruct regarding the new initiative, His answer surprised me.
His response was for me to not focus on the ‘how’ or the ‘what’ but to focus more on the ‘why.’
Why the Why?
Elder Uchtdorf reminds us that:
“the why inspires our souls. The what informs, but the why transforms.”
There is actual science behind that.
Simon Sinek has discovered some really incredible patterns about people in how they think, communicate and act and what environments allow people to work at their natural best. In his famous Ted Talk, he identifies that the way to inspire action and influence behavior is through the why.
Instead of worrying about the ‘how’ and the ‘what’ that will be outlined in November, I’m committing to being present with the ‘why’ that was discussed in the recent introduction video. I know that if I get wrapped up in waiting for the ‘how’ and ‘what,’ or if I get frustrated that, as a leader, I’m not getting that right now, I’ll miss the opportunity for the Spirit to convert me to the why.
Going Deeper
Then Father took it a step further, probably because he heard me say, “Ok, I can focus on why my ward Young Women’s Presidents and youth need this in their lives.” The Spirit quickly reminded me that BEFORE I go and try to get revelation for anyone else, I need to focus on myself and my family.
Personal Development and Home Centered First
Our own personal development and the development of our families comes before our callings.
Always.
Our individual spiritual, intellectual, physical and social development is the key to being an authentic disciple of Jesus Christ and a true leader. In Handbook 2, 3.2.1 we’re told that
“when leaders are converted and are growing spiritually, they can help others become converted and grow spiritually.” We then “are able to receive inspiration to guide [ourselves] in [our] personal lives, [our]family responsibilities, and [our] callings.”
The development of our families comes before the development of those we serve. As explained by Tad R. Callister in his Oct. 2014 conference talk:
“We might all ask ourselves: do our children receive our best spiritual, intellectual, and creative efforts, or do they receive our leftover time and talents, after we have given our all to our Church calling or professional pursuits? In the life to come, I do not know if titles such as bishop or Relief Society president will survive, but I do know that the titles of husband and wife, father and mother, will continue and be revered, worlds without end.”
How that looks is different for everyone but if I don’t know the ‘why’ for me, I’m certainly not going to be able to help my kids identify the ‘why’ for themselves. If I’m not identifying my vision and helping them recognize the Spirit directing them in theirs, I won’t be able to help with those things in my calling.
So I’m also committing to focus on the ‘why’ in my own personal life regarding this initiative and the ‘why’ in my own personal family before getting curious about the ‘why’ for my presidents, the youth and my calling.
A Lifestyle, Not a Program
This new initiative is not a new program. It is a holier, more balanced, more Christ-like lifestyle. As we become really clear on the ‘why’ of this new initiative in our personal lives, our families as well as with the leaders, children, and youth in our callings, it will serve the purpose God intends and will bring us, our families and those we serve closer to the Savior, Jesus Christ.
I invite you to consider the ‘why’ for you, your family and your calling BEFORE the November clarification and Q & A. Even if, and especially if, you don’t have children in the applicable age or a calling that works with our youth. Understanding the ‘why’ of any inspired change allows us the opportunity to commune with the Lord and ask for understanding and what role He may need us to play with this new initiative.
