The majority of feedback I get from this newsletter is often positive and in agreement with my somewhat random opinions.
But I figured I would share with you one of my most controversial opinions that most of you are going to dislike (or outright hate).
So keep your finger on the reply button.
Here’s one of my most controversial opinions when it comes to church leadership:
In our faith tradition, we dramatically overemphasize our focus on the youth.
There, I said it.
If you consider the budgets, time, meeting focus, and loss of sleep given to the youth, it is daunting.
But, Kurt, don’t you understand the critical time the youth are facing?
Don’t you understand the mental health concerns the youth experience?
What about the temptation that constantly assaults them?
Social media!?!?!
We are losing them!!!!
My response: I agree.
My critique of an imbalanced focus on the youth doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take the youth’s mortal battles seriously.
This unpopular opinion can be summed up in two points:
(1) By overemphasizing the youth, those in the greatest need are often forgotten.
(2) By passing over other groups in order to focus on youth, we are actually offering less to the youth.
Allow me to explain by drawing attention to one vulnerable group that often gets forgotten in our effort to focus on the daunting struggles of youth.
Statistically speaking, the group in an average ward most likely to lose someone to suicide is by far the elders quorum.
Even with this fact, very little is offered to the elders quorum in terms of budget, transformational activities (similar to FSY or weekly experiential activities), and Sunday instruction that is redemptive.
Many adult men would describe their church experience as full of guilt-trips, passive aggressive motivational lectures, and empty tips that do little to help them overcome the sin they face in life.
Here is the biggest irony of all…
As so many in our culture are focused on helping youth, few, if any, attempt to reach for the biggest solution to the youth’s issues…
…and that is the potential relationship youth could have with the men who sit in elders quorum (specifically their fathers).
If you want to fix the youth, walk down the hall and fix the elders quorum.
More on this to come after I read all the discontent headed towards my inbox. ????
Sincerely,
Kurt Francom
Executive Director
Leading Saints
P.S. This is an older newsletter message. Get the up-to-date message weekly by subscribing for free HERE.
Some good points and worth exploring.
Great message, loved this thought
https://youtu.be/_sP4rMMV6I4
Is a message about the cause of our children and youth problems.
It’s in the Parenting. Parents need to know how to love unconditionally and teach with love. I learned about Greg’s program too late. My children are now adults. Until we are parents can admit that we don’t know how to love unconditionally or teach with love we can not begin the path to learning how.
I couldn’t agree more. The EQ most the time is a a complete waste.
After reading this I believe there might be some confusion with cause and effect.
To your point Elder’s Quorum could be more meaningful, changes in curriculum are needed as well as better trainings on how to conduct lessons and discussions or even how to build community. Community would totally help members of the quorum feel needed and loved. Consequently, those who are needed loved are better parents and will instruct their children to be better too.
How can we get Elder Quorum members to be actively engaged? What is it that makes hard for them to show up?
I disagree with your suggestion that the reason why this is happening is an exaggerated focus on the youth. I think there may be some confusion between cause and effect here. Men, in our culture aren’t always willing to be vulnerable and I think that is more a societal issue impacting church than solely a church one. Not to mention a willing heart isn’t always the most effective! Lay membership, am I right? Volunteers can only do so much. I think having trainings and professional development on how to engage in meaningful ways would be helpful from the institutional level itself.
The bigger issue I took with your letter is, not only cause and effect, but bluntly put, you are a privledge white male. The systems at church and in our society benefit you. Myself, as a woman and person of color I have had to fight for my place at church. I have had to learn that I need to make the change that I want to see. I cannot wait for change to happen.
I do that by engaging with ward leadership. I volunteer to give talks on topics I think would be valuable to hear, like how rooting our racism is a principle of the gospel or what can we learn from the Black Pioneers who were denied salvation until 1972 through priesthood and Temple bans? I arrange firesides for speakers to come and speak about LGBTQ issues at church. I advocate for diversity to be represented in the art work in my meeting house and on the bulletin boards in primary. So the black children can see themselves with Christ.
I think about the foundation of organizations like Primary, Relief Society and Young women. They were created by WOMEN who saw a need and did something about it. The odds have been against the marginalized and yet they have blessed everyone. I think you are on to something, I do. Please take heart! You are doing wonderful things with your podcast. I know you can create the change you want to see in Elder’s Quorum. It’s a slow moving train, change, and working on change at an institutional level, but you can do it!
In my own attempts to be the change I want to see I sing this hymn as my mantra:
“The Church has need of helping hands and hearts that know and feel.
The work to do is here for you; Put your shoulder to the wheel.”
You got this man!
I love this comment! And the thoughts and ideas you put forward. ????