Many times individuals talk with their bishop because they are dealing with discouragement. Usually the bishop says something profound, or they share a scripture that relates to their situation. Other times the bishop looks across the desk and thinks to himself, “I have no idea what to say.”
In this moment, the bishop has a secret weapon to fall back on (after prayer, of course)….it’s called VALIDATION. I came across the following video today and laughed out loud because the example reminded me how it feels to be a bishop — people lining up at the bishop’s office simply to be validated (even if they aren’t sure what they need). The full 15 minutes is worth a watch but the first 3 minutes gets the point across. Take a watch…
Another reason priesthood blessings are so powerful is they validate the beliefs the person already knows. They know faith can heal, they know answers are found in their scripture study, and they know they will most likely get better in time — but hearing it through the inspiration of the blessings validates and confirms it through the power of the Holy Ghost.
So when a friend needs to be uplifted or is dealing with a difficult time and can’t find a way out — VALIDATE. Point out the blessings they have and how they impact other lives.
Validate…Validate…Validate
this is awesome! thank you thank you for sharing it…. I will share it with my fellow friends!
You're quite right that validation is an essential tool (more than a secret weapon). However, pointing out someone's blessings can be a way to invalidate, rather than validate, a person's experiences. To validate means to acknowledge the validity of another person's experiences, feelings, and ways of understanding the world. A good way to understand this principle is to look at its opposite: invalidation.
When someone is depressed and I start telling them the reasons why they should be happy, I am invalidating their current depression. When someone is grieving the loss of a child and I tell them that "it's OK, he's serving on the other side", I am invalidating their genuine grief.
Generally, when we go into "problem-solving" mode, we start invalidating. Sometimes you don't need to say anything, just listen and try to understand. After you have made that considerable effort, you can start validating, by saying something like: "You must be feeling terrible right now", or "It sounds like you're really discouraged".
This is different from the kind of validation shown in the video, but it's a more helpful concept, in my view.
My recent post Pro-schooling propaganda and poor journalism