As I was navigating my concerns, resources, and hopes for a loved one who is struggling with addiction, I was grateful for the recent podcast with Kurt Francom and Nate and Marla Christensen.
Their candor, expertise, and vulnerability were not only hopeful, but filled with wise advice. So, if you are navigating a similar concern as a parent, leader, family member. or friend, I invite you to take a listen to this podcast.
The Christensens not only brought their lived experience to this ever-growing concern, but they also brought a host of degrees and experience in clinical psychology and therapy.
There is much to be learned in understanding codependency and becoming enmeshed in the messiness of addiction. They shared some great insights as well as the power of the Church’s Addiction Recovery Program (ARP).
Marla shared her personal journey of realizing the need to lean on Jesus rather than being overly dependent on her partner’s actions or behaviors.
I agree with her regarding the impact of the ARP meetings. In fact, I think it would be so impactful if every member of The Church had the opportunity to participate in the ARP program. (Not that the General Sunday School Presidency would ever ask me, but I think it should be offered as a Sunday School class at least once a year.) I can’t begin to tell you the impact it had on me as I was participating in an ARP program for the families of addicts. It was transformative in my relationship with the Savior, with my beloved addict family member, and it began creating in me a desire to be more charitable, forgiving, and Christlike when interacting with folks who sin and struggle differently than I do.
In an April 2014 conference talk, Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf shared words of hope:
“Please know, first of all, that there is hope. Seek help from loved ones, Church leaders, and trained counselors. The Church provides addiction recovery help through local Church leaders, the Internet, and in some areas, LDS Family Services.”
Loaves and Fishes
I was recently pondering on some of the many insights we could glean from the historic miracle of Jesus feeding the 5,000 (Matthew 14: 12 – 20; John 6: 5-14). I began to consider how we could apply it in our daily lives as individuals, family members, and leaders.
In dealing with and growing through life challenges, including the challenge of having an addicted loved one, we can discover ways to grieve, serve, trust, and love.
In the narrative of this particular miracle, we have the 5,000 being taught, the disciples, and our Savior who is grieving the loss of his cousin, John the Baptist.
It is instructive regarding finding space to grieve; noticing the needs of others; the timing of service; having the disciple bring what they had (five loaves and two fish); and seeing the miracles that happen when touched by our Savior’s faith and power.
Taking Care
It’s stunning to me that in the midst of His grief, the Savior saw the hope and needs of the multitude and began healing them, teaching them, and ultimately feeding them both physically and spiritually.
Yet it is of note, He took time to go to a desert place first. At the end of the podcast, Sister Christensen stressed the importance of doing things to support ourselves during difficult times—including having a therapist to help us process and understand what we are going through and how to best move forward.
In Alma 31:1-11 we also discover the virtue of the word of God and how it truly has the power to change hearts and the trajectory of a life. “Simple” attributes that keep us strong in the faith include:
- Keep the commandments
- Participate regularly in the ordinances of the Church
- Prayer and supplication daily.
As we do those things, our souls remain healthy, strong, and at peace.
The Balm of Service
Next, we can consider the impact of properly-timed service and how it can become a balm to our aching hearts during times of struggle. The timing of the service is worth pondering on when we are in the midst of a heavy trial. We may not engage in it as immediately as our Savior did, but it is something to consider when spiraling downward in our grief and/or fear of what is going on with our addicted loved one. The service could be to our addict loved one, but it could also be service that Father invites us to participate in as we seek to be His hands. There is a healing power in serving others and recognizing the many blessings we have rather than hyper-focusing on a specific trial.
We All Have an Offering
The disciples didn’t have a solution to feeding the multitude, but they willingly gave what they had come up with, five loaves and two fish. Sometimes we get stuck in what we don’t have or that we think we are not enough, yet if we will turn our willing heart (our offering) over to the Lord, He can transform the meager offering into miracles. Miracles of hope, of instructive leaders, of kindness from friends, family, and more. When we yoke ourselves with our Savior, not only is the burden lightened, but we are also strengthened as the Savior helps us pull the load with Him.
In the podcast, the Christensens reflected upon the transformative power of surrendering to the Savior and finding solace in the midst of life’s challenges.
May we consider the loaves and fishes we can bring to a challenge in our role as a supportive loved one, a leader, or a friend and move forward in hope, caring, and peace.
Beth Young is a convert of 46 years; served a mission in North Carolina; has been married for 37 years to her sweetheart, Bob; has five adult children and two grandchildren. She raised her family in Texas for 25 years where she served in various capacities in church and in her community. She moved to Utah six years ago and loves writing, teaching, and inspiring others to make changes to their physical, mental, and spiritual health. Beth is the owner of 5 Pillars of Health, serves as the written content manager at Leading Saints, and is a master gardener.
