Jon Nash is married with three children, and the fourth is due to arrive soon. He has served in a variety of music callings, elders quorum first counselor, Institute president, Primary teacher many times, and currently as a member of the Sunday School presidency. Jon is a licensed clinical mental health counselor in the state of Utah. He specializes in depression, anxiety, trauma, couples, and family work. Over the last several years he has worked to incorporate more gospel-centered conversations in the therapy room and wrote a book relative to that focus.
Enter Jon…
The growing challenges with mental health are impossible to ignore. Rates of depression, anxiety, addiction, and virtually every mental health challenge is increasing across the western world.
The Latter-day Saint community is not immune to having mental health concerns, which can be indicated by increasing communication from the general authorities of The Church and official Church publications. The impact of this can be felt in all facets of our church participation including Primary, youth classes and activities, sacrament meeting, Relief Society and elders quorum.
This rise in mental health concerns requires a multi-faceted approach, involving all members to play an active role. As disciples of Christ, we should all be seeking out ways to minister to those in need. Some will be in coordinated efforts, callings, and assignments, but often more meaningful are the spontaneous efforts that come from an individual recognition of a present need. As we all work together, we can lift each other up and lighten the individual loads that everyone carries.
What is the Role of Church Leadership?
Years ago, when I was a counselor in the elders quorum presidency, I would often hear about individuals who were struggling in many different ways. As a newly-graduated therapist, I was often given the responsibility of talking with the members of the quorum who had brought up mental health concerns with the elders quorum president or the bishop. While I might have had more tools available to me, and an active license to provide therapy, I look back and recognize how I was blurring lines of my role in ward leadership and my professional life. I am grateful I had those opportunities to bring that knowledge and gift into my calling, but I can think of some higher and holier ways to approach this that amplifies people within their roles where they have been given authority to act.
Most individuals in leadership callings in The Church are not mental health professionals. They don’t need to be, and in some ways, it is a blessing to the members of the congregation that the leaders are put in positions outside of their comfort zone. This helps to facilitate a reliance on the Lord and the guidance of the Spirit.
Church leadership is not asked to act as a replacement for a therapist or other skilled professional. Instead, their role is to assist in God’s purpose of bringing about the exaltation of men and women by helping them live the gospel of Jesus Christ and caring for an individual’s needs, among other responsibilities (General Handbook 1.2).
Let’s take a moment to explore these two principles further as they relate to addressing mental health needs within our sphere of influence as a ward leader.
Increasing Our Capacity
Our soul is made up of our body and our spirit. This means that what happens to our body will impact spirit, and vice versa. We cannot treat these as completely separate things. If we are not spiritually healthy, it will certainly have a negative impact on our mental health and overall well being. This does not mean that having mental health challenges means that we are not spiritually healthy, or even that we are not doing our best to nourish our spiritual health. Rather, this highlights the importance of putting in some efforts that incorporate spiritual practices. These alone are not meant to fully “fix” our mental health problems, but to increase our capacity to meet our challenges.
Spiritual Guidance for Mental Health
I have many individuals come into my office not liking the way that conversations have gone with their bishop when they went in for help. Navigating conversations around mental health, when having a spiritual focus can be difficult. The top complaints that I hear are that “I was just told to pray harder” or “I was told that I was causing the problem.”
I appreciate where the bishops are likely coming from, but I think that a few tweaks to the conversation would lead to a drastically different outcome. Let me share a few thoughts on where I think these statements are coming from, and a few adjustments that I use in reframing these concepts.
The Purpose Behind Praying for Help
Prayer is an essential part of creating an effective connection to God and Jesus Christ. It is the answer to so many things because they have all power to handle all our challenges that come from mortality.
Guidance to turn to prayer is helping individuals to turn to their ultimate source of healing. But if we leave it at that, it easily gets interpreted as “I am not trying hard enough.” The problem is usually not with effort levels, but more often with knowing how to direct the efforts.
Give a purpose behind the prayer. Start with a foundation of building a relationship with their Savior and Creator. Having a relationship with God and Jesus Christ can help people to develop more trust in Them. If I don’t trust my parents, I’m not going to be invested in doing what they tell me to do beyond avoiding consequences. So really knowing that they love us and care for us will lead to an increase in trust that they will either be able to take away the suffering, or have a purpose in having us do the work.
As this foundation grows, prayer can be directed toward support outside of taking away the burden. Individuals I work with feel a difference as they start to ask for understanding for why things are happening the way they are, added strength to bear their burdens, and knowing what else they can add to their support system.
The change rarely happens overnight. Encouragement to continue putting in the effort past their own expectation or desire for change can be helpful in finding real change.
The Role of Repentance in Healing
Repentance is truly a gift that we have been given. When fully implemented it provides a tremendous amount of relief for us. Alma the Younger talks about the joy that he felt when he had gone through an intense repentance process (Alma 36:19-23).
Leaders who have felt this joy are likely to encourage others who may be going through this process to help relieve burdens. Bringing up repentance in a conversation with someone experiencing severe depression or anxiety, is very likely to bring on feelings of “I’m not good enough” or “I’m never going to be able to stop all the problems that I have.” These are distortions in thinking that become very deeply rooted for most who are experiencing those particular challenges.
We must again be clear in our purpose for having a discussion on the role of repentance in their healing journey.
Repentance does not equate to engaging in a grievous sin that brought mental health challenges upon themselves, though sometimes that is true. An emphasis on how repentance can bring us closer to “the mark.” It may be helpful to use the concepts of sin as anything that misses the mark or pulls us away from God, and repentance as the act of turning back to God. It may be as simple as losing our focus on Him and needing to bring Him back into the central view.
Emotional Support
Caring for others can take many forms within church culture. We often want to have some concrete action that we can take, such as making food, being able to move boxes or furniture, or to offer a priesthood blessing. These are great ways that we can care for others, but may not be what someone needs when they are working on improving their mental health.
As leaders, we are likely high on the list of people that members will turn to for help. One of the most powerful ways that we can care for Christ’s flock is through time and listening to understand. There is great healing in being able to share our experience and why it is hard for us. Imagine the last time that someone really listened to you and provided a non-judgmental ear. I know when I get that I release a lot of what I am holding in. Letting go of these burdens may be a really healing process for many.
When we are seeking to listen and hold space for another person’s burden, this is more than simply nodding and giving the non-verbal cues that we are paying attention to them. Ideally we could ask questions to help us further understand, make comments that reflect that we are really getting what they are sharing, and even be willing to be silent when we can tell they are experiencing some powerful emotions.
If we are creating a truly supportive environment, then our ministering will often encourage emotions that would otherwise be held back and cause more hurt.
Refrain from being too quick to relate or give advice. While well-intentioned, jumping into this too quickly can bring about a feeling that they are a problem to be fixed.
They are not.
They are experiencing real challenges, and those are what need to be addressed. As the old adage goes, no one cares how much you know, unless they know how much you care. Emphasize understanding and compassion, to create space for direction or correction to be well received.
When to Direct to Other Resources
Individuals who are called to be in bishoprics, Relief Society or elders quorum presidencies, or any other calling in the ward, are not asked to be therapists, psychiatrists, or any other mental health professional.
When the concerns seem like they are clearly going outside of the spiritual realm, and into mental health concerns that require other training, be willing to direct to other resources.
Suicidal individuals should be connected to crisis resources, such as calling 988, who are going to be able to support and direct to other resources as appropriate. Consider making that call or text with them in the room. This reduces the risk for the individual, and potential feelings of responsibility if any actions are taken.
Abuse should always be reported to outside sources as well.
Many will be greatly benefitted by working with a skilled therapist, especially one who is able to incorporate spirituality into the therapy process.
As we are willing to help them connect with other resources, instead of simply telling them they need a therapist, they will be more likely to find the help that they need.
We don’t feel that we need to take things on ourselves.
Resources That Build Resilience and Foster Faith in Jesus Christ
Not all mental health resources are created equal. This is especially true for individuals seeking to keep their spirituality as a central part of their healing journey.
Leadership would do well to have resources available that they can direct individuals in need toward.
- Get to know therapists before committing to a working relationship with them.
- Ask how they would approach spiritual concerns that impact mental health.
- Look for someone who is rooted in the gospel, but is not looking to preach.
Everyone embraces change better when they make discoveries themselves. Values that align can be easier, but not necessarily a deal breaker if they can respect and value ours. Most therapists will do a 15-minute consultation call, so encourage those seeking to find a therapist to ask about that and take advantage of that opportunity if it’s available. Both sides want to make sure this will be a good fit.
Concluding Thoughts
Approaching difficult mental health challenges can seem overwhelming at times. Even after nine years as a therapist, I encounter new and challenging situations.
The Lord will consecrate our efforts. As we seek to do our best to care for His flock, we will be guided and supported. The promise that God will not leave us comfortless doesn’t just apply to the one struggling, but I believe, because of my experiences as a helping professional, that the helper is not left alone and floundering if they are truly relying on guidance from the Spirit.
