In simple terms, effective ministering interviews are about engaging other people; more specifically the process to engage others in doing something that feels uncomfortable but will result in a greater cause.
In Alma, chapters 43-63, we see remarkable leadership demonstrated by Captain Moroni. Here are a few examples of the impact Captain Moroni’s leadership had on his armies (emphasis added):
Alma 43:48: And it came to pass that when the men of Moroni saw the fierceness and the anger of the Lamanites, they were about to shrink and flee from them. And Moroni, perceiving their intent, sent forth and inspired their hearts with these thoughts—yea, the thoughts of their lands, their liberty, yea, their freedom from bondage.
Alma 48:7: Moroni, on the other hand, had been preparing the minds of the people to be faithful unto the Lord their God.
Alma 50: Thus Moroni, with his armies, which did increase daily because of the assurance of protection which his works did bring forth unto them
Moroni had engaged his armies at a higher level; they would do anything for him. Moroni was able to perceive their intent and then motivate them to stay on task. He built assurance among his people. They knew he wouldn’t let them down, and therefore they wanted to be a part of his cause.
How did he do this? I think I have an idea.
In a previous post here at Leading Saints I used these images:
Leadership doesn’t begin when you receive a title, it begins once you have gained the love and trust of those you lead—much like Moroni did. How do you obtain such trust? Some conclude stern pulpit-pounding will do the trick. “I just need to get these brethren in a room and give it to them straight!” Soon these leaders find themselves with a room full of resentment or empty altogether.
Effective Interviews Create Love and Engagement
So how did Moroni do it? How did he get so many dedicated and valiant followers? How did he create a culture where everyone in his army felt he loved them sincerely, and truly wanted to follow because of a higher cause?
I contend Moroni did this by creating a connection with each individual. He understood them so well, he knew by focusing on their land, liberty, family, and freedom he would inspire them to do great things. By making a connection individually, they would sacrifice for Moroni because he understood them.
In modern church leadership, auxiliary leaders are not big fans of personal one-to-one interviews (from what I have heard). These interviews become overwhelming, partly because there can be so many members in a quorum. They can also rank as one of the top awkward interactions in the church. Nobody wants to sit down with a fellow elder and talk about feelings.
In reality, most leaders aren’t sure what to do during these interviews. The awkwardness stems from awkward questions about personal scripture study and prayer. Many don’t feel comfortable enough to share such information with you. In order to build a trusting relationship with each individual there are three connections that need to be made over time during a personal interview.
1. Connect Personally
The context of your first three to four interactions with a quorum member may just be about football, or Star Wars, or any other topic they are passionate about. You have to keep it real and understand who they are on a personal level. This is the beginning of trust building. In the mission we called it BRT (Build a Relationship of Trust). The principle still stands in leadership. They aren’t going to open up to you until they feel you understand them as a person, even on a superficial level.
2. Connect Spiritually
Many meetings in the church start with a spiritual thought. Some are better than others, but the point is, to establish a tone for the meeting you need to open a door for the spirit. Personal testimony, accompanied by scripture, can build connections faster than most other methods—especially during a one-on-one stewardship interview. This can be awkward if you make it awkward (crying), but if you simply share some recent spiritual thoughts you have had and then connect it to your testimony, you will find it the source of building trust with those you lead. If you set the tone to have a spiritual interaction with them, they will feel more comfortable sharing their spiritual perspective. It’s stimulates the Spirit and brings people closer together.
3. Connect Purposefully
If you jump right into “purpose” on the first interaction you have with those you lead, it can come across as self-serving or fake. “This guy only cares about the numbers of the quorum.” It’s pivotal to establish a personal and spiritual connection first. This may take two to three interviews. Just like Moroni, when it comes time to remind them why they are “fighting”, they are most likely to be inspired rather than feeling you are only concerned about your reputation.
Once you have their trust you can talk about ministering with a mutual goal. You can address specific reason why ministering may not be happening and then provide solutions. When you both find a mutual purpose and love and trust are present, they will follow you into any war.
Featured image: Moroni and the Title of Liberty, by Clark Kelley Price
Even if you wait until step 3 to connect purposefully, isn’t the purpose still to “care about the numbers of the quorum”? Is that still “self-serving or fake”?
Here’s a different perspective: How about not caring about the numbers at all, neither sooner nor later? And only trying to be a friend and servant of the man in the quorum? Like the Savior did, from what very little we have to read in the New Testament? Teach, encourage, minister unto, help — that’s what I imagine as the role of an elders quorum president. The secretary can collect the reports. Just a different perspective…
Ji,
I understand your sincere desire to simply be Christlike and not focus on the numbers. The reality is, accountability is a large part of leadership. If you don’t have a specific goal or measurement to hold someone accountable you are not approaching success because you don’t know what success is.
Thomas S. Monson said: “When we deal in generalities, we shall never succeed. When we deal in specifics, we shall rarely have a failure. When performance is measured, performance improves. When performance is measured and reported, the rate of performance accelerates.”
Hard to argue with that. 🙂
I absolutely love your thoughts here. You certainly understand the goal and the intent of a loving servant leader. I am particularly and selfishly fond of your idea that Elders Quorum President is capable of being like the savior. One day I hope to be perfect, but unfortunately, today I am far from it. Reading your comments about the Elders Quorum President makes me feel like I could be superhuman and is a great reminder of the incredible challenge I face. I hope you don’t mind if I give you my perspective as I strive to magnify my calling and undertake the daunting task of serving as the Savior did.
I believe it is important to start with a gentle reminder that an Elders Quorum President (EQP) is not actually superhuman. He is an imperfect man with his own problems, worries, and stresses, he might have hobbies, a family, friends, a job, financial responsibilities, and might even find himself being involved in the community. And as you already know, in the process of the Lord, there is no aspiring for office John 15:16. The right to select rests with the Lord. Prior to being set apart as EQP a sustaining vote is presented to the Ward. The procedure of sustaining is much more than a ritualistic raising of the hand. It is a commitment to uphold, to support, to assist those who have been selected.
D&C 107:22 “upheld by the confidence, faith, and prayer of the church”
There are nearly 100 Elders in my/our quorum. Each Elder has his own callings, some are temporary, like EQP, and some are forever, like loving thy neighbor. In a perfect world, each Elder would magnify the calling to minister as the Savior did. Sometimes I even wonder, if everyone were to place the calling of ministering on the same pedestal of the superhuman EQP, what role would the EQP even have in ministering, and I always arrive at the conclusion there would be no need for the EQP to be involved in ministering interviews. In short, every member of the quorum is imperfect, but when we work together, uplift, support, and forgive one another we can become something better.
There are two places in the Bible that tell a parable of the lost sheep – of a loving shepherd who leaves his 99 sheep in search of one that is lost — Matthew 18:12 and Luke 15:4.
While the Savior was able to keep track of the one in his mind without technology and reports, I find I am less effective at serving the quorum without the self-serving reports. I do my best to get to know every individual, their likes and dislikes, their families, and each of their hobbies and life events. I do my best to keep track of every ministering interview, the commitments, the challenges, and the goals that were set. I do my best to remember who is magnifying their ministering calling. Unfortunately, my simple mind is not capable of remembering it all without taking notes, and without tracking numbers. I selfishly report all my conversations by tracking when I spoke with someone, what we talked about, and the commitments that we made. I also selfishly report who is doing their ministering and who is not, I selfishly report who is being ministered to and who is not. Without the numbers, I would not remember exactly how long it has been since I spoke with everyone or the exact dates of their important events, and I, unfortunately, would not know who the 1 is that has been left our, lost, and for whatever reason neglected. The numbers and reports tell me when the 99 are doing well enough for me to find the 1. I believe it is possible to use reports and numbers to help the EQP be better as he strives to be like the Savior. Every number and every report has a name and a face, the purpose of reporting is simple = help the EQP by informing him of the needs of the individual, so he can attempt to serve the quorum and each individual as the Savior did.
I apologize for the lengthy response; I am not great at consolidating my thoughts. I hope you were still able to follow my thoughts and they make sense.
I have always had a hard time with the word “numbers”. Oh, I didn’t understand why I needed to be a number that was submitted and recorded. BUT as I have been the relief Society president and done ministering interviews they are recorded and the number is given. The thing that I came to realize and understand is that that number meant there were that many connections that were made. So while I don’t care necessarily about what the number is, it is a reflection on the number of relationship or friendships that were fed ????
I don’t want to argue — just to offer a different perspective. Jesus taught that he came to serve, and that all who would be leaders must be servants instead. I don’t see any indication in any of our scriptures of leaders in the pastoral church being managers or supervisors and members being employees who need to be managed or held accountable. Again, a different perspective.
By the way, I cannot help but to think that we never will get the “success” we want until we start serving rather than leading. Just a different perspective.
Teaching responsibility, accountability, goal setting, goal reaching, service, etc. are acts of love. Most times when we are being reminded we do not choose to see that. Also allowing others to give an accounting of their work and performance is not only preparatory work for a later accounting to the Lord, it may be a blessing for them to recognize their part in serving and loving others as well as the Lord. In the end they are acts of love, but one can certainly perceive it as less if they choose to.
When I was trained on the “how too” of PPIs it was suggested that we focus on obtaining information about the home teacher’s families (that they were assigned to home teach). Learn everything you can about the family. If the home teacher doesn’t know anything about the family because they have not home taught them they will often make an effort to learn more before the next PPI. This indirectly encourages them to get the “numbers” for home teaching. The other great advantage is you learn and bond together because you are working together for a common goal. The focus is turned from an uncomfortable “get to know you and why haven’t you home taught this month?” interview to an “I care about individuals” interview in which the interviewee will ascertain that you must care about them as well if you are that concerned about these other quorum members. In my experience this approach indirectly leads to BRT. People open up about themselves much quicker when they don’t feel pressured to do so. If I think the focus is on someone else and not me my guards come down and I open up. I think it is human nature especially in the early stages of a relationship. The numbers become people with names and faces and hobbies. When that becomes the case home teaching is a pleasure and valuable information is willingly shared and can then be reported to the bishop, stake president or others who can then help. That is the ultimate goal, correct?
Great points! I discuss similar ideas in this post: https://leadingsaints.org/how-to-improve-home-teaching-by-20.html
Can we stop calling PPi’s what is a Stewardship Interviews. PPI stands for Personal Priesthood Interview, which is the annual interview with a Priesthood holder (Handbook 2, 7.3.2) of how he is managing his Priesthood, 1. for him personally, 2. within his home and family, and 3. with and for others (callings, blessings, teaching, serving, etc. ). This misuse of PPI seems to be endemic within The Church, and it is wrong, and gives the wrong connotation to what are interviews for different reasons and purposes. These are times to get to know each member of a Quorum or Group, time to build friendship and trust, as are Stewardship Interviews. When done with love, and effectively, problems dissolve, or when one occurs it is easy to rectify because of this love and trust of each other.
I’m really trying to have more meaningful ministering interviews, and I’m going to be having individual interviews moving forward as the updated handbook outlines, but everything I keep finding seems to be co-mingling the two. They can’t be exactly the same because ministering interviews are supposed to be with a companionship and obviously the individual is not. Am I just missing the mark somewhere?
I am thrilled to have bumped into your podcast on Youtube and just browsing through I have felt the presence of the Lord and the power of the spirit. I was called as an EQP last year. I am 28 this year and not married yet. First of all I am grateful for the calling as it has helped me to really understand the nature of Love our Saviour has for His children all over the world. The reason why I am sending this has to do with welfare or self reliance. I serve in a ward that has different cultures and backgrounds and it has been a daunting tasks for me to bring the brethren together towards a goal. In Africa such task can be difficult to attain. I really would like to ask on how I can be better in my calling and at the same time help those who need welfare become self reliance.