I have spent the last two years writing a book entitled Becoming Better: The Groundbreaking Science of Personal Transformation. It is based on my research and consulting focused on helping business leaders and people not just become incrementally better but become transformationally better. The audience for the book is for anyone who wants to become better, and it does not consider a religious perspective.

But as I worked on this project, I began to see more connections to deeper spiritual truths, which has helped me in the following ways:

Better understand the Gospel of Jesus Christ in deeper and richer ways,
Become a better person and have a greater positive impact within my spheres of influence, and
Live in greater alignment with the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

I ultimately want you to experience these benefits as well.

For months I have been wanting to write an article that brings together some of my learnings into a gospel context, but I never felt like I had the right “hook” until I recently had four separate conversations with members of my ward that have opened what I think will be a helpful angle. I hope that what follows will help you gain deeper insights about how you can become more like Jesus Christ.

My Beliefs About the Gospel of Jesus Christ

I believe that the purpose of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and ultimately the Plan of Salvation is to help us to become better, even like unto Jesus Christ. I also believe that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is a vehicle to help us in our journey of becoming better.

Stemming from these two beliefs is a set of related beliefs. Specifically, I believe that the more that we become better, the more we:

Become a positive influence and light to the world around us (including our families, wards, organizations, and communities),
Follow in the footsteps of Jesus, and
Fulfill the measure of our creation.

Thus, I believe that we—as God’s children, followers of Jesus Christ, and members of a Church that considers itself to be an essential vessel of the Gospel of Jesus Christ—should strive to:

Want to become better,
Gain deeper insights about how to become better, and
Create programs and processes that help facilitate personal transformation.

Yet, I wonder if there is an opportunity for us here. Could our church programming and religious conversations be more transformational in helping us become better, and more like Jesus Christ?

I think that much of our church programming and religious conversations are well intended. But what I have come to discover is that most people, whether within the Church or outside of the Church, do not have much clarity about how to transformationally become better.

Thus, in this article, I want to introduce two concepts that:

Jesus Christ embodied as our ultimate exemplar,
Are necessary for us to focus on to become transformationally better, and
Can be easily undervalued and overlooked by us as humans, even as member of the Church.

These concepts are complexity and window of tolerance. These are not the only concepts that fit the above descriptions, but they are two that I felt most important to cover within the scope of this article.

Complexity

Let me introduce this first concept by telling you about the four conversations I recently had with fellow ward members.

Several Sundays ago, our Gospel Doctrine teacher asked a question posed for an “either/or” response as a way to generate discussion. It was essentially: “What is more correct: option “A” or option “B?” Several people in the class selected an option and made their case for either option “A” or option “B.” I felt that the teacher was looking for a deeper answer, and to me the answer wasn’t so cut and dry. So I raised my hand, and I made a case for how it isn’t helpful to make the “either/or” distinction because the actual answer is much more complex than “A” or “B.” Thus, I suggested it was more of a “Both-And” proposition.

After the class, I had four different people come up to me. Two people separately thanked me for bringing in a more nuanced perspective to the conversation. Two other people separately said that while my more nuanced perspective probably had some merit, they preferred to think about it as being either option “A” or option “B.” Upon hearing this, I wondered if this isn’t an opportunity to help these individuals further develop here. Let me explain.

While I can understand where these two latter people were coming from, as there are benefits in keeping things simple and/or “cut and dry,” I want to point out that this preference might prevent us from becoming more like Jesus Christ.

To do so, let me introduce the first concept that I have learned is an essential part of becoming transformationally better: Complexity.

There are various fields of psychological research that investigate the degree to which people think about and process their world in complex ways. What they have discovered is the following:

Some people see themselves and their world in more complex ways than others (i.e., some people are more complex thinkers than others)
People can improve in the degree to which they see complexity and think in complex ways
The more people engage in complex seeing and thinking, the greater their ability to navigate their world more effectively (particularly if their world is complex)

Let me give you a couple of examples of how complexity can help us be better and how simplicity can prevent us from operating like Jesus Christ.

Example 1. It is not uncommon for religious people to take a rather simple stance and perspective on sin, essentially presuming that “only bad people sin,” and thus, if one sins, that makes them a bad or possibly flawed individual. (I’ll reference an example of this from the New Testament shortly). But one can also take a more complex stance and perspective on sin, and recognize that oftentimes someone’s sinful behaviors are the result having basic needs that are unmet. For example, I remember sitting in two disciplinary councils at the ward level involving women who had intimate relationships outside the bounds of marriage. While we do not condone that behavior, I couldn’t help but recognize that part of what led them to behave in the way that they did was because they had deep unfulfilled emotional needs brought about through circumstances outside of their control.

When we see someone who sins as a “bad person” (a more simplistic view) it makes it difficult to be empathetic and provide the love and nurturing that they need to become better. But when we see someone who sins as someone who has been hurt and needs support (a more complex view), it helps us to be more empathetic and willing to provide the love, support, and nurturing that they need to become better.

Example 2. Some people might find that thinking more simply (i.e., “white and black” versus “colors of the rainbow”) is helpful because it helps them draw the line and live up to certain rules or expectations. For example, someone might say that they will never watch a rated-“R” movie. And that might help them avoid watching inappropriate material. But that also might close the door on material that can be very profound and even life-changing (e.g., Schindler’s List).

While we can justify simplicity, one way it commonly holds people back from being more like Jesus Christ is that it inhibits them from recognizing and understanding the perspectives of others who have had very different experiences from them, inhibiting their ability to understand, relate to, and show kindness to others.

Something that I have come to believe through my study of the life of Jesus Christ is that he was a very complex thinker. Some examples that demonstrate this include (but are not limited to) the following:

He would use parables to teach people, which allowed him to simultaneously connect with people at different levels of cognitive and emotional sophistication.
When he was dealing with the adulterous woman, Jesus balanced justice and mercy in a way that he upheld the moral weight of sin, but also demonstrated compassion. This was an incredibly complex situation, and one that he navigated with great effectiveness. (Connected to the example above).
He seemed to be able to fluctuate the modes that he operated in. For example, at different times, he operated as a teacher, healer, leader, and cleanser of the temple.
Jesus was willing to break cultural and religious barriers to both show compassion and teach universal truths.

The more we recognize the value of complexity and the more we appreciate the role Jesus Christ’s complexity played in his ministry, I believe that we should do more to acknowledge:

Where our complexity resides between being simple-minded and complex-minded,
How we can enhance our complexity, and
By elevating our complexity, we will make meaningful strides to becoming more like Jesus Christ.

And as we acknowledge these things, as followers of Christ, we should seek to become more complex thinkers and beings.

What I have come to learn, whether it involves people within the Church or the business leaders that I work with who generally aren’t members of the Church, is that most people do not have “improving my complexity” on their self-improvement radar. And I believe that if “improving our complexity” isn’t on our radar as followers of Christ, we may be actually resisting the purpose of the Gospel of Jesus Christ (becoming more like Jesus Christ).

Something that you might find fascinating is that psychologists have identified at least five different forms of complexity. I imagine that we all have room to develop across each form of complexity. And to the degree that we grow in each form, I believe we become a greater positive influence within our spheres of influence, more like Jesus Christ, and closer to fulfilling the measure of our creation. Here are brief descriptions of each form of complexity:

Self-Complexity – The degree to which an individual’s identity and self-concept are differentiated and multidimensional (i.e., we see ourselves as more complex and multifaceted beings).
Cognitive Complexity – The degree to which an individual is to process and synthesize information from multiple perspectives, account for nuance, and think in layered ways.
Behavioral Complexity – The degree to which an individual can exhibit a wide range of behaviors and adapt them appropriately to suit different roles, contexts, or challenges.
Emotional Complexity – The degree to which an individual can recognize, manage, and express a wide range of emotions in oneself and others.
Moral Complexity – The degree to which an individual can discover solutions to moral dilemmas in a way that does not entail conceding the needs and objectives of one ethical imperative over another.

Of these five forms of complexity, where do you feel the most developed and where do you feel the least developed? I believe that in order to become more like Jesus Christ, you need to elevate your complexity in each of these areas. I’ll discuss more about how we can do this below.

Window of Tolerance

The next concept I want to introduce is “Window of Tolerance.”

This concept was first introduced by psychologist Daniel Siegel (author of Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation), and it has come to be not only widely accepted by the psychology community, but it has been verified by neuroscience research.

The basic idea is that there is a comfort zone that we can operate in where we feel stable and in cognitive and emotional control. But the more stress we experience, the more we lose cognitive and emotional stability and control. And it can get to the point where we lose complete cognitive and emotional stability and control in one of two ways: hyperarousal (which is when we enter a fight or flight response) or hypoarousal (which is when we enter a freeze or dissociated response).

What psychologists have learned is that:

• People differ in the widths of their windows of tolerance, such that it is easier for some people to start losing or lose complete control of their cognitions and emotions than others

• When people lose control of their cognitions and emotions (even just a little bit), they are more prone to operate in self-protective ways and less prone to operate in accordance with their values.

In a religious context, we can state it this way: People with more narrow windows of tolerance are more prone to engaging in behaviors that are considered sinful and less prone to engage in behaviors associated with the characteristics that Jesus Christ encourages, such as charity, humility, faith, forgiveness, patience, meekness, etc.

And from everything that I have studied about Jesus Christ’s life, there seems to be ample evidence that he operated with a wide window of tolerance, in that he was able to stay cognitively and emotionally in control despite extreme stress. The epitome of this is his seeming ability to stay in cognitive and emotional control while in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the cross when he focused less on his self-protection and more upon his purpose and mission, when he said the following:

• “O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.” (Matthew 26:39)

• “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34)

As such, when we understand what “Window of Tolerance” is, it is rather easy to understand that if we want to become more like Jesus Christ, something that we need to work on is widening our windows of tolerance.

In fact, let me encourage you to do a quick check of how wide your window of tolerance is. Consider:

How quickly do you lose patience or get angry when in traffic?
How quickly do you get upset when your children do not follow your instructions?
How quickly do you get defensive when someone says something that you don’t agree with?
How quickly do you feel overwhelmed at work or home?
How well do you manage your emotions in a tight deadline or in a crisis?
How quickly do you get defensive or shut down when you receive feedback or criticism?
What tasks, situations, or people do I avoid because I find myself quick to experience negative emotions?

Reviewing These Two Concepts

What I have put forward is the idea that if we want to become more like Jesus Christ, we need to work on elevating our complexity and widening our windows of tolerance.

While there are other concepts we can focus on, I think this is a good start. And I think the introduction of these concepts also allows us to ask a few thought-provoking questions:

In our church settings, do we ever discuss or promote the concepts of complexity or window of tolerance?
How directly do we discuss or promote the concepts of complexity or window of tolerance?
Should our church settings be a place for us to focus on elevating our complexity and widening our windows of tolerance?

To me, I believe if our church is a vehicle for the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and if the purpose of The Gospel is to help us transform and elevate ourselves and our “beings” to become more like Jesus Christ, then we should be open to introducing concepts like these into our church settings.

While these are topics not directly referenced in the scripture or by modern apostles, I do believe there is ample connection between these topics and the life and teaching of Jesus Christ and his apostles.

For me, focusing on improving in these two areas have been transformational for me in my life, and as I alluded previously, I feel that improving in these two areas has helped me become more like Jesus Christ, although surely just scratching the surface.

Ideas for Becoming More Like Jesus Christ

In order for us to understand how to go about elevating our complexity and widening our windows of tolerance, it is important to recognize that our abilities in these two areas shares a similar source: our body’s nervous system. Stated differently, when we have a refined and sophisticated nervous system, then we will possess greater complexity and wider windows of tolerance.

This recognition reveals two core ideas:

Becoming more like Jesus Christ inevitably involves refining and upgrading our body’s nervous system (personally, I believe this is what is meant when the Bible Dictionary defines repentance as a change of mind and heart).
If we want to elevate our complexity and widen our windows of tolerance, we need to engage in practices that help us refine and upgrade our body’s nervous system.

Here are practices that research has identified as being helpful for elevating our complexity and widening our window of tolerance:

Meditation
Identity mapping
Journaling (e.g., gratitude journaling)
Deepening our self-awareness
Seeking out colliding perspectives
Purpose discovery practices
Therapy
Neurofeedback
Challenging our body and mind physically (e.g., strength training, running, hiking, or even cold plunges)

The church’s role may not be to promote or prescribe these specific practices, but these are activities that can help us upgrade, improve, and refine our body’s nervous system—and thereby, our spirits.

What Should You Do with This Information?

I believe that understanding these concepts can benefit you both as a person and follower of Christ, as well as a leader within the church.

As a person and follower of Christ, I hope these ideas expand how you think about becoming better and more like Christ. I also hope it opens up the opportunity for you to engage in transformational development approaches that often aren’t discussed much at church.

For example, I have personally worked with a trauma therapist, and feel like that experience has helped me to become like Jesus Christ significantly more than my scripture study, prayers, church attendance, and temple worship.

As a leader within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, it is my hope that this article:

Helps you be more purposeful in your efforts to help those in your stewardship become more like Jesus Christ (i.e., fulfill the purpose of the Gospel of Jesus Christ)
Provides you with ideas and concepts that can be introduced into your ministry, lessons, and discussions to help people become more like Jesus Christ.

In all, I hope this article expands your mind about how you can:

Become transformationally better
Become a more positive influence within your spheres of influence
Become more like Jesus Christ
More fully live into the measure of your creation

If you want to dive into these topics more deeply, you might find value in my books (Success Mindsets, The Elevated Leader, and Becoming Better (June 2025)), checking out my website, or by connecting with me directly.

Ryan Gottfredson, Ph.D. is a cutting-edge leadership development author, researcher, and consultant. He helps organizations vertically develop their leaders primarily through a focus on mindsets. Ryan is the Wall Street Journal and USA Today best-selling author of “Success Mindsets”, “The Elevated Leader”, and “Becoming Better”. He is also a leadership professor at the College of Business and Economics at California State University-Fullerton.