I loved this post in the Leading Saints community and started writing a comment to share my perspective.
Once I finished I realized I had written my next newsletter message.
So here it is…
In short, the post was highlighting the fact that the Church is using the phrase “All Are Welcome. Visit a Church Near You.”
The question is, how can we inspire our members to receive all?
I think most Latter-day Saints don’t understand how to hold acceptance/grace while still promoting covenants/commandments.
In my recent book, Is God Disappointed in Me?, I aimed to illustrate how these concepts can be effectively articulated.
On one end of the spectrum, the most progressive members focus almost exclusively on love, treating commandments as an afterthought.
On the other end, the most orthodox members seem unable to attend church without envisioning a God who only tolerates those who strictly obey all commandments necessary for a temple recommend.
Campaigns like “All Are Welcome Here!” convey a true and positive message.
However, this is merely the starting point of the gospel, not its conclusion. (See chapters 4 and 5 of my book.)
In short the real message is, “All are welcome here because God wants a relationship with you that requires that you give God all to Him—your passions, your sins, your family, your life purpose—everything.”
Of course, we only have the strength to give all when we are abiding in His love.
To illustrate this point, let me share a story from my own experience:
In a previous ward, a same-sex married gay couple began attending church. Both were returned missionaries who cherished the gospel community. I made a conscious effort to welcome them, often sitting with them in elders quorum and engaging in casual conversation about their jobs, holiday plans, summer activities etc. just like I would with any other couple. While I appreciated their attendance, I privately expressed to my wife that I doubted it would last. This prediction, though it may seem harsh, proved accurate. After a few months, the couple gradually stopped attending.
Was the ward at fault?
Could we have been more welcoming?
Should we have increased our outreach efforts with more in-home visits and plates of brownies?
While I believe we generally did well in making space for them, ultimately their lifestyle didn’t align with the gospel model.
It would have been disingenuous for the ward to avoid discussing doctrines such as eternal marriage between a man and a woman or to refrain from defining sin according to scripture and modern prophetic guidance.
This situation relates to the concept of empathy blindness, which I’ve explored in recent newsletter messages.
Many members, myself included, can become paralyzed by empathy when witnessing someone’s life trajectory leading towards sin, especially due to factors beyond their control.
We often overextend ourselves to make accommodations, create comfort, or soften theology that feels harsh.
But in the end, God asks for everything and if we’re not willing to give it all, we may not stick around.
So the gospel’s message is…
All are welcome.
However, God will ask for everything.
And watch what He will make of you.
Sincerely,
Kurt Francom
Executive Director
Leading Saints
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