Mary Margaret Thompson was raised in Salt Lake City by two California natives and converts to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Mary served a mission in upper New England. Upon her return, she met and married Spencer Thompson. She earned her masters degree in Early Childhood Education at the University of Utah and taught kindergarten for three years. She is now raising four precious children. Mary has served in various callings including in ward and stake Young Women presidencies, a Primary presidency, and as a Primary chorister. She is currently a Relief Society teacher. She has also been the supporting role for her husband who served as the president of NorthStar International for several years. Mary has a great passion to write inspirational thoughts, and has written a personal blog for the past seven years, since President Nelson encouraged us to receive personal revelation.
Enter Mary…
As leaders and ministers in our homes and church community, my below insights from a deep dive into concerns I had can provide insights on the power and impact of truly seeking to mourn with those that mourn and comfort those who stand in need of comfort.
Needing “Rest”
As I was pondering on polygamy and its history in the Church, I wasn’t feeling the peace I desired to feel. I took my concerns, once again, to God in prayer. I had a real, and raw conversation. It was an honest look at myself, my sins, my desires and my struggles, and I really just needed some “rest” as President Nelson suggested.
Resting at the Altar
How do we find rest?
Well, for me it has not been just putting my worries on a “shelf,” but rather, for now, laying them on the altar.
The Savior said,
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)
This, for me, looks like sacrificing my need to know or my need to be right, and in return finding some rest and some peace in my desire to lay my wrestles to rest. This doesn’t mean I won’t continue to strive for answers to deep soul filled questions, but that I will be open to what the Lord is striving to teach me.
Deep Compassion
Prior to this surrendering, I felt guided to study further on this topic. I came to a line in the gospel topics essay on plural marriage (which was painful to read through) but there was something I read that was interesting to me. It says that in the time of polygamy, some women prayed and got answers of peace that they were to live in this type of marriage. Some individuals left the Church, and others denied the invitation, but remained faithful.
I wanted to count myself in the latter category. What God was showing me, was an honest look at what I have chosen in my personal life, which is actually not all that different (spiritually speaking) than what the women in the first category chose. (I’m not saying it was right, and I can’t speak for them…but I can speak for me and why I have deep compassion for these women.)
The “Rest” In the Wrestle
I, too, have chosen to be in a marriage that, by the world’s standards, isn’t “normal.” (I am in a mixed orientation marriage.) Many people would and have said they couldn’t live in this situation. But I have chosen it over and over and over again, because I feel God has blessed me to learn excruciatingly beautiful lessons about putting my worldly desires on the altar and choosing to stay with the good man I love.
While there is pain there, I have also come to know a deeper relationship with the one who actually did put Himself on THE altar. The sacrificial Lamb laid Himself down willingly on the cruel cross, so He could bear the cruel burdens we’d be asked to bear while in mortality. The beauty that came from those ashes was this: He knows how to sit with us in our wrestles. He IS the rest in the wrestle!
I experienced this compassion from Christ through my husband who sat with me as I sobbed about my pains and heartaches which lead me to speak up about this effort to understand polygamy.
Pure Love
These are pains that have come over a lifetime of learning how to overcome opposition within myself. So many layers and so many difficulties which just needed to be sobbed out of me. And through this “impossible” marriage, came the miracle of a man who sat in place of Christ for me and let me just be broken. No judgement, no shame, just love. Because he knows the familiar pain of wrestling with deep issues of the soul, and what it looks like to take them to Jesus.
Pure love. Love which reached my aching heart and somehow comforted my soul just by knowing I wasn’t alone and wasn’t wrong for feeling how I felt.
What a gift! Jesus is the beginning of knowing that “with God nothing shall be impossible.”(Luke 1:37)
Spaces and Places of Doubt
After Jacob and his words of declaration, which I am grateful he declared so clearly to the people at the temple in his time…we have his son Enos. Enos wrestled! What a gift! We have this beautiful pattern of knowing that it is ok to be in that space.
How I want to be someone who can honor others in their spaces and places of doubt, confusion, questioning and striving.
May we find a way to truly mourn with those that mourn and comfort those who stand in need of comfort. Not because we pity them, or want to be their rescuer, but because we love who they are and who they are becoming through their mortal sojourn. May we be filled with this pure love, is my humble desire.
