There are phrases we reach for when someone is hurting, phrases meant to comfort, to steady, to reassure. But sometimes those phrases, though well-intended, fall short.
“Everything happens for a reason” is one of them.
In a recent episode of the Leading Saints Podcast featuring Brandon Bennett, that familiar phrase is gently but powerfully challenged. Not because it’s entirely wrong, but because it’s often incomplete, and sometimes even harmful when applied without understanding.
What emerges instead is a deeper, more Christ-centered framework, one that doesn’t try to explain away pain, but invites us to walk through it with purpose.
Let’s explore what that looks like for leaders, parents, and anyone seeking to minister more like the Savior.
The Problem with Easy Answers
If you’ve ever sat across from someone in real pain, a grieving parent, a struggling spouse, a discouraged youth, you know how tempting it is to offer a quick explanation.
- We want to fix it.
- We want to make sense of it.
- We want their pain to feel purposeful.
As Brandon Bennett points out, not all suffering comes packaged with a clear explanation. And when we rush to assign meaning too quickly, we risk doing more harm than good. The phrase “everything happens for a reason” can unintentionally:
- Minimize someone’s pain
- Imply God caused their suffering
- Shut down deeper conversation
- Replace empathy with explanation
And perhaps most concerning, it can lead us into what Bennett describes as speculative doctrine, filling in gaps where God has not spoken. As leaders, that’s a dangerous place to stand.
A Better Reframe: Purpose Through Christ
Instead of saying everything happens for a reason, Bennett offers a more doctrinally grounded perspective: “Through Jesus Christ, everything can have a reason and a purpose.”
That shift matters. It moves us from:
- Explaining to trusting
- Assigning cause to discovering meaning
- Speaking for God to pointing to Christ
This is where real ministry begins. Because the gospel doesn’t promise that every trial is orchestrated, it promises that every trial can be redeemed.
Understanding Where Adversity Comes From
One of the most helpful contributions from this discussion is a clearer framework for understanding adversity. Not all trials come from the same source and recognizing that can transform how we respond. Bennett guided us to the Gospel Topics section on adversity. This topic hits on four thoughts:
- Trials may come as a consequence of a person’s own pride and disobedience. These trials can be avoided through righteous living.
- Other trials are simply a natural part of life and may come at times when people are living righteously.
- Adversity may sometimes come because of others’ poor choices and hurtful words and actions.
- Suffering may also come through a loving Heavenly Father as a tutoring experience.”
- Let’s consider each one more deeply.
Consequences of Our Own Choices
Some trials are the natural result of pride, disobedience, or poor decisions. These are often the easiest to misunderstand. We may be tempted to soften accountability or, conversely, to shame ourselves or others.
But truth, taught in plainness, invites responsibility without condemnation. When someone is facing consequences of their own actions, the role of a leader isn’t to speculate. It’s to help them reconnect with the Savior’s redeeming power.
The Reality of a Fallen World
Other trials are simply part of mortality. Illness. Loss. Disappointment. Accidents. These experiences often come even when someone is living righteously. And trying to assign a specific divine reason to them can create confusion or even spiritual damage.
This is where the story of the man born blind becomes so powerful. When asked who sinned to cause the condition, the Savior rejected the premise of the question entirely. Not everything painful has a tidy explanation. But everything painful can become a place where God shows up.
The Agency of Others
Some suffering comes because of the choices of others. Hurtful words. Abuse. Neglect. Betrayal. In these situations, telling someone “This happened for a reason.” can feel especially hollow, or even offensive.
God honors agency. And that means some pain is the result of others misusing it. Our role as leaders is not to justify that pain, but to sit in it with them, offering empathy, safety, and Christ-centered hope.
Divine Tutoring
And yes, some experiences may come from a loving Heavenly Father as part of our growth.
But here’s the key: We should be very cautious about declaring which experiences fall into this category, especially for someone else. There is a sacred difference between:
- God teaching me through this and
- God is doing this to you
One invites humility. The other risks spiritual harm.
The Ministry of Presence Over Explanation
One of the most striking themes from the podcast is the emphasis on empathy. Not surface-level empathy. Not rehearsed empathy. But real, Christlike presence. Because often, what people need most is not an answer, but a companion.
Consider how often the Savior responded to suffering:
- He wept before He raised Lazarus.
- He listened before He taught.
- He touched before He corrected. As leaders, we sometimes reverse that order.
- We teach before we understand.
- We explain before we listen
- We fix before we feel.
But true ministering requires us to slow down. To resist the urge to fill the silence. To sit with someone long enough that they feel seen, not solved.
The Danger of Speculative Doctrine
There’s a subtle temptation in leadership to have an answer for everything. But as Bennett cautions, when we go beyond what has been revealed, we risk creating confusion instead of clarity.
Speculative doctrine often sounds spiritual but lacks foundation. It might include statements like:
- “God needed them more than you do.”
- “This happened to teach you something specific.”
- “If you had more faith, this wouldn’t have happened.”
These statements may come from a desire to help, but they can distort the nature of God and the reality of agency.
Teaching truth “in plainness” means staying anchored in what we do know:
- God is good
- Christ is present
- Grace is sufficient
- Healing is possible
And sometimes, that’s enough.
Accessing the Savior’s Power in Trials
If we move away from explaining suffering, what do we move toward? The answer is simple, and profound: We move toward Jesus Christ.
Bennett emphasizes that meaning in our trials is not something we manufacture, it’s something we receive as we engage the doctrine of Christ. That includes:
- Faith in Him
- Repentance
- Covenant connection
- Receiving the Holy Ghost
This is where transformation happens. Not because the trial is suddenly explained…but because the person is no longer alone.
A Leadership Invitation
As you reflect on your current calling, whether in a bishopric, Relief Society presidency, elders quorum, or simply as a ministering brother or sister, consider this question:
How do I respond when someone brings me their pain?
Do I:
- Try to explain it?
- Try to fix it?
- Try to spiritualize it?
Or do I:
- Listen deeply
- Validate honestly
- Point gently to Christ
One approach seeks to resolve discomfort. The other invites healing.
What This Looks Like in Real Life
Imagine a young adult who feels like their life is unraveling.
Instead of saying: “Everything happens for a reason…”
You might say: “I don’t know why this is happening—but I do know you don’t have to go through it alone.”
Or a parent grieving a child’s choices.
Instead of: “This is part of God’s plan…”
You might say: “This is incredibly hard. I’m here with you. And so is the Savior.”
These small shifts create space. Space for the Spirit. Space for trust. Space for real healing.
From Explanation to Invitation
Perhaps the greatest takeaway from this conversation is this: We are not called to explain all things. We are called to invite people to Christ in all things.
That is the doctrine. That is the work. And that is where hope is found.
Listen and Go Deeper
If this perspective resonates with you, I highly recommend taking time to listen to the full conversation: False: Everything Happens for a Reason | An Interview with Brandon Bennett.
Brandon Bennett expands on:
- How to teach truth without overreaching
- The role of grace in suffering
- Practical ways to access the Savior’s power
- How leaders can minister with greater empathy and clarity
That’s the kind of conversation that doesn’t just inform your mind; it reshapes your ministry.
Final Thought
Maybe the goal was never to understand every reason behind our pain. Maybe the goal is something higher. To trust more deeply. To love more fully. To walk more closely with the Savior.
Because while not everything happens for a reason… Through Jesus Christ, everything can become something sacred.
Beth Young is a convert of 49 years; served a mission in North Carolina; has been married for 39 years to her sweetheart, Bob; has five adult children and two grandchildren. She raised her family in Texas for 25 years where she served in various capacities in church and in her community. She moved to Utah eight years ago and loves writing, teaching, and inspiring others to make changes to their physical, mental, and spiritual health. Beth is the owner of 5 Pillars of Health, serves as the written content manager at Leading Saints, and is a master gardener.
