Rachel Leavitt is a nurse, health coach, educator, wife, and mother. She is a mother to seven amazing children of God and married to a husband who is able to provide a wonderful push to her pull, while navigating spaces of faith and doubt together. She currently serves as a counselor in the Relief Society and has served in Primary in numerous roles. Her favorite calling is Sunday School teacher.
Enter Rachel…
I stood in my kitchen unsure what my next step should be.
When I first began my family, I did so in hopes that we would grow and learn together. We all would follow the same path, have the same end goals, and move forward in alignment as a family. But now, with young adults in front of me, good people, all of them, I could see that we haven’t fully aligned in the way I once imagined. We’ve grown together and love each other deeply, but we hold such vastly different views of the world, of God, of spirituality, and of life goals. My dream of a unified family moving forward with one shared understanding and meaning about life felt far out of reach. Our future for a unified family seemed to be slipping.
The Work of Becoming
I began to wonder what that even meant.
I found myself questioning God. What was the point of all that work as a mother? What purpose could there be for a family if we don’t all hold onto the same meanings and goals in life. And very clearly I felt God say to me that day: This is your work now. I have given you children who are their own selves and have their own experiences with me. Now prepare for the work of becoming one.
The real work is bringing unity when you are dealing with completely different ideas of spiritual reality. Loving those you thought you couldn’t. Spiritually connecting with people who are so different it initially feels impossible.
Normal Maturation
I’m not entirely sure why it was such a shock to me that different people view the world and God differently. Developmental research, including spiritual development, suggests this is actually a normal part of maturation. As we grow into adulthood, we can either remain at earlier developmental levels where our perspective feels like the only valid one, where our language, experiences, and understanding become the measure of reality and we unconsciously dismiss others who differ from us. Or we can lean into growth in which developing the capacity to hold other people’s beliefs as sacred alongside our own is foundational. Along with that comes an understanding and ability to love, both others emerging experiences with God and their different roles in this world. (See D&C 38:27; Moses 7:18; Navigating Mormon Faith Crisis: A Simple Developmental Map, by Thomas McConkie.)
More Fully Understood
Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf has taught something similar using a Hindu proverb about several people encountering an elephant in different ways, each describing a different part of the whole and believing they are seeing reality in its entirety. The point of the teaching is not that their experiences were invalid, but that each one is limited when taken alone. It is only through humility and the willingness to listen to one another that a more complete understanding emerges. He states,
“My young friends, as you accept the responsibility to seek after truth with an open mind and a humble heart you will become more tolerant of others, more open to listen, more prepared to understand, more inclined to build up instead of tearing down.”
In this way, truth is not diminished by difference, but can be more fully understood through it.
Our own doctrine teaches us that the Light of Christ is in everyone. My lived experience shows we all participate in it differently and equally valid ways. Even our understanding of what that light is and how it works can vary widely across cultures, experiences, and personal revelation. So when it comes to learning, understanding, and connecting to a larger spiritual community, we can lean into the idea that others experience the Light of Christ differently than we do, and that we can actually learn more about God by listening across those differences.
Reframing Engagement does not mean we give up doctrine, theology, or the spiritual experiences we have had ourselves. Rather, it reframes how we engage with one another. We can allow it to expand our perspective, see God more clearly, and understand Christ more deeply.
Once we recognize the importance of listening to and maintaining relationships with those who hold different spiritual traditions or viewpoints, the next challenge is knowing how to do so. It’s often difficult to stay connected without fear or withdrawal when we first encounter differences. When I initially received the impression that this is the work I need to focus on now, it felt like a shift. I realized that my task wasn’t what I expected. It wasn’t about creating uniformity or forcing everyone to share the same spiritual worldview. Instead, it was about finding unity despite our differences and understanding that there are blessings in that process.
Discovering Goodness Together
So what does this look like in practice? For me, this starts with grounding myself in the knowledge of God’s love, for both me and the other person. We are both children of Heavenly Parents, deserving of dignity and respect. When this understanding is brought to the table, it makes everything else much easier. One key tool is cultivating curiosity about who the other person is, what brings them hope and meaning in life. It’s also essential to listen with the intention to learn, not to defend or criticize. Building a relationship is crucial. This may involve finding common ground, looking for shared values or beauty in life, and discovering goodness together.
Find Common Ground
One of the most memorable experiences I had was discussing the temple with a family member who isn’t a member of my faith. She embraces multiple faith traditions as part of her own spiritual journey. As I spoke about the temple and the meaning it holds for me, she shared how she had seen the temple lights and felt their beauty. She imagined that light touching everyone around it. In that moment, we were able to find common ground and shared meaning, despite how different our spiritual views were.
It felt like a small glimpse of a much greater gathering, one where God is not erasing difference, but drawing it together.
The Gathering
From the far east I’ve learned to center my soul. From the west, forward momentum, growth, development. From my dark-skinned brothers and sisters, brought against their will I am learning to walk the tightrope of justice and mercy, deep sorrow and walking with Jesus. My indigenous family point me to my sacred Circle and Mother. The Hebrew Bible grounds me in a history of Godliness and covenant. I know there is so much more to learn as I watch my God gather.
