Tommie Farrell currently serves a 1st Counselor in the Abilene Texas Stake Presidency. He has served as ward mission leader, elders quorum president, and previously as bishop. Favorite callings in his past have been primary teacher, temple ordinance worker in the Lubbock Texas Temple, a scoutmaster and 1st Counselor in the bishopric just prior to his current calling. He has been married to Karen Farrell for 30 years and they have four fantastic children at ages 29, 24, 21, and 17. They especially enjoy being “Pops” and “Boo” for their two-year-old grandson. Tommie has been a physician for 24 years with 19 years of these dedicated completely to the field of Hospice and Palliative Medicine where he takes care of patients and families with critical illness and end-of-life care.

Enter Tommie…

I want to share insights I gained recently about the best youth activity I ever thought of when I was previously a bishop.

Well, maybe not the best.

I had several that were more spiritual and uplifting. But this activity was meant to be a blast, and it was!

The Best Laid Plans

I had just learned how to make blowpipe-like guns out of PVC pipe that allowed you to shoot mini-marshmallows at each other. I had bought some on vacation with my own children and it was becoming a family favorite. I figured out how to make our own and decided this needed to be a combined young men/young women activity.

I was in my fourth year as bishop. I was well connected with the youth. We were in a brand-new building the Church had built to accommodate the growth in the area. I was in a comfortable spot in my calling and thinking all was well.

We started the activity outside, but it started raining. No problem. We moved it inside, made the marshmallow guns, and started attacking in the makeshift alliances that formed and rearranged. An hour of great fun with no problems. Then at the end we started looking down on the gym floor. Hundreds of gummed-up marshmallow balls were on the floor and squished in well by the shoes of all of those participating. No worries, we will sweep that right up….okay let’s try some mopping…. okay, it appears this only comes up with kneeling down on the floor with scraping tools, solvent and elbow grease. An hour of fun turned into about two hours of cleaning for those who stayed. Many had to leave, some felt duty bound to stay with me and help. Some were kind to me about the obviously ridiculous predicament I had gotten us into. A few were not.

Why Wasn’t I Guided?

This is something easy to look back on with a laugh, but that night and for several days after I felt quite foolish.

In our reasoning minds it is easy to see this situation for what it was: a simple mistake, a lesson learned, could have happened to anyone, not a big deal in the eternities, etc.

However, we all have had these moments where we feel a bit of despair for making such a lame mistake.

I think the culture of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has a natural tendency to cause us to want our pursuit of being “perfected in Him [Christ]” (Moroni 10:32) but not to lead us to desire to be perfect in every moment. So, our emotional brains often go to the thought of, “Was this supposed to happen? Why didn’t I have the spiritual discernment to see this going the wrong way? Is it not the purpose of the gift of Holy Ghost to help us avoid these things?”

The Works of God

What if moments like this are not a mistake? What if they are meant to be?

If not so, then consider this: who sinned? Me, as the bishop, who planned the activity? One or multiple of the other six adult leaders attending that night who did not take a moment and see what was happening to the floor? Or was it one of the 17 youth there? Or were we all astray and unworthy of spiritual prompting?

I feel this mirrors the moment when “his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered, neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.” (John 9:2-3)

Learning Through Conflict

Let me take this to a more recent experience. I was at a wonderful Young Women camp this summer. The adult leaders had prepared everything. The older young women serving as the youth camp leaders (YCLs) were awesome. All the best you hope for in fun, spiritual experiences, inclusion, and engagement. The girls were busy from dawn to late into the evening.

Of course, they were quite tired by the last night. The final evening had an activity illustrating the lesson of the 10 virgins. It took a while to get going, but the young women were patient, and it seemed to have paid off as I heard hymn singing and quiet conversations as they walked in the dark with hand-made clay lanterns. This eventually ended with a marriage feast of snacks. As the young women returned to the main hall for the wrapping up activities, some conflict arose. Not worth mentioning the details. It was brief, but intense enough for hurt feelings to arise. One of the young women took control quick enough that it reset the evening and things closed out with the Spirit.

I went to the task to helping clean, but it became obvious that there was still processing occurring among some of the young women and some of the leaders. I stayed within earshot and felt confident they would work it out and I heard many sage words being spoken. I offered a few brief words of my own. I hoped that all was done as I went back to my lodgings and prepared for bed.

However, there were more conversations needed, and I was called to visit with those wanting to find more resolution. Some conversations drifted from the conflict and on to the disappointment of this occurring at all.

How interesting that a week’s worth of near perfection gets soiled with five minutes of the adversary’s influence.

I spent more time listening to the worries of leaders and I again returned to my lodgings. I was blessed to have one of our stake’s bishops as a lodging companion. He had sensed that I might need to debrief myself and he had stayed awake for my return.

As we discussed things I shared the promptings I had to share about my marshmallow gun experience to point out that many times the best laid plans both go well and have some sticky consequences, but the Atonement covers all of this.

This bishop had been praying for weeks prior to this camp that the youth and leaders would grow closer to the Savior during their camping experience. This had primed him for being ready to have the Spirit influence him as we counseled together. We spoke for a few minutes about the desire we had to help everyone involved to receive the healing of the Atonement. We then prayed and went to bed pondering with the desire to receive any further inspiration to help those who needed it.

By morning we had two important thoughts that we felt the Spirit had us prepared to share.

Holy Interruptions

The first insight was a reminder by the Spirit how often the adversary’s influence attends near the most spiritual of events.

Just about all of us know of one prominent example in the life of the Prophet Joseph Smith. Prior to the first vision where he learned of his being forgiven of his sins and that he was to be chosen to restore Christ’s church to the earth, the adversary physically attacked him. (Joseph Smith History 1:15-17)

This, of course, did not stop the Father and the Son appearing to Joseph.

Another example from Joseph Smith’s life came just months prior to the dedication of the Kirtland Temple. On December 16, 1835, Joseph and his brother, William, got into a physical altercation that led to Joseph being unable to “sit down or rise up without help,” and William almost leave the apostleship. However, at Joseph’s personal urging, he did not leave. (The Joseph Smith Papers, Documents, Volume 5:1835-January 1838, 100-121)

This did not stop all the marvelous manifestations that occurred associated with the Kirtland temple dedication in the months that followed. (Doctrine and Covenants 109; 110; 137)

As I met with the adult leaders the next morning, I shared these stories. I encouraged them that the adversary could not stop the great growth of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in those early days with such contention. He certainly was not going to disrupt the lives of the beautiful young women in our stake with his five minutes of bad feelings at our camp. I had seen too much growth in all who had attended that week.

My wise bishop friend added another thought (the one that has prompted this whole article). He shared the thought,

“Maybe this was supposed to happen.”

He asked us to consider was this a good Young Women camp where something bad happened, or was this a good Young Women camp because something like this happened?

What if this was just another wonderful Young Women camp where everything was good, but nothing stood out for some of the young women?

Would there be the potential that the memory of it would be pleasant and the spiritual growth real, but not with the emotional element to allow the greater growth that could occur as those who needed to overcome the bad feelings from the night before allowed the Atonement of Christ do something very real for them at this time?

He Knows Us

As I reflect on my life, most of the events that have strengthened my testimony and devotion to this gospel are the things I have overcome through Christ. Both those trials that have occurred to me as well as those I have brought upon myself by my own sins.

As we had one last gathering with the girls, we celebrated the week. I shared how it seemed impossible to cram one more spiritual thought into a week where so much had occurred. But that I was going to try.

I discussed marshmallow guns, the discomfort of a few moments from the night before, but mostly testified of the Bridegroom they had celebrated the night before.

I testified of knowing Him and knowing He gives us every experience we need in life, including the one at the end of the activity.

It is only a few weeks out since the conclusion of the Young Women camp and I realize it took 12 years for the “marshmallow activity” to have its moment to help me empathize and teach others.

All things work in the Lord’s timing.

I am grateful for the thought posed by a wise bishop, “Maybe this was supposed to happen.”

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